Beavis and Butt-head 5x1

Directed by Mike Judge

After failing math in Mr. Buzzcut's class, the boys get sent back to 7th grade, but they don't do so well there either, and keep getting sent back -- all the way to kindergarten.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. All right! What's the square root of 9?

2. Beavis and Butt-head!

3. Do you know the answer?

4. Can you, like, repeat the question a few times?

5. The square root of the number 9!

6. Answer! Pronto!

7. Erm... sixty?

8. 90210?

9. I M N O P?

10. I agree with him, boys.

11. Your difficulties in math, as well as every other class

12. make it clear that you just don't belong in the 9th grade.

13. I'm calling the principal of the Wilson Elementary School

14. to arrange for you both to go back one grade.

15. So, like, what grade would that put us in?

16. Yeah. Are we gonna, like, be, in college?

17. - That would be cool. - Yeah. Then we'd score.

18. Enjoy your new school, boys.

19. It is in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat

20. gather coffee beans every morning.

21. Look at that guy's face!

22. Yeah. I can make a face like that.

23. Check this out!

24. That wasn't very good, Butt-head.

25. That was scary, man.

26. Yeah, that scared the bejesus out of me.

27. Black hole sun.

28. Black hole.

29. Hole.

30. Black hole?

31. Hey Butt-head, what is a black hole?

32. It's, sort, like a bunghole, but it's like...

33. Butt-head, check it out, that's the chick from Whale, remember?

34. That hobo-slumpin' homo-slut ... remember?

35. Shut up, Beavis! I was explainin' somethin'.

36. So, like, the black hole is, like, this giant bunghole in outer space

37. It's like, it sucks up the whole universe.

38. And it's like...

39. It grinds it up and sends it all to hell or something.

40. Wow, really?

41. That's cool.

42. So, like, how do you know all this stuff?

43. I'm watching Star Trek, bunghole.

44. This sucks.

45. Yeah. Why do we have to, like, go back to 8th grade to get to college?

46. Cancel out the common factors

47. And we have x equals 2 squared.

48. So x is obviously...

49. So, have you ever, like, been with an older man?

50. Leave me alone, you loser.

51. - "Loser." - Shut up, dillhole.

52. Butthole!

53. Excuse me! Are you paying attention back there?

54. No.

55. What did I just say x is?

56. Two squared.

57. Two squared.

58. Two to the second power?

59. 4 plus 5?

60. Come on, 4 added to 5?

61. W?

62. No way, Beavis.

63. Like, two squared or something?

64. This desk is giving me a stiffy.

65. I don't even have a room for a stiffy.

66. This sucks!

67. Hey, Beavis.

68. - These chicks are flat. - Yeah.

69. So, the mean grumpy bear turns into a nice happy bear.

70. And he lived happily ever after with the 100 jars of honey.

71. Minus one.

72. Numbers suck.

73. Are you angry, Butt-head?

74. Yeah. I'm, like, angry at numbers.

75. Yeah. There's, like, too many of them and stuff.

76. That's okay. It's alright to be angry.

77. Everyone gets angry sometimes.

78. Well, let's do some coloring now.

79. Would that be fine?

80. Yeah! Yeah! Coloring!

81. What's with you, dumb-ass?

82. Coloring sucks.

83. Who wants juice and cookies?

84. Yeah!

85. These cookies suck.

86. Do you have any, like, nachos?

87. No, I don't have any nachos. Sorry!

88. And I don't like spitting.

89. Spitting can spread germs.

90. Germs! Germs!

91. Germs rule!

92. Either get these imbecils out of my class, or get yourself a new kindergarten teacher!

93. Well, I can try sending them back to pre-school.

94. But eventually, they'd come back through here.

95. Why don't you, like, put us on a higher grade?

96. You know, where the chicks have big thingies?

97. Yeah, yeah. Me too.

98. See what I mean?

99. Yes. I see.

100. Hey, these boys just gave me an idea.

101. You're looking at the brightest students that have ever passed

102. through the hallowed halls of Wilson Elementary School.

103. Wow, check it out, Butt-head!

104. Check back there in the window! I think she's naked!

105. Shut up, Beavis! No, she's not.

106. Okay.

107. Hey, Beavis. Like I said, he hears dark voices in his head.

108. Oh, really?

109. I hear voices too. But, like, usually they're white guys.

110. Sometimes it's, like, you know, a Chinese dude too that talks to me.

111. - Or Mexican. - Really?

112. - What does the Chinese guy say? - He says...

113. "Pull down your pants!"

114. "Spank your monkey!"

115. What does the white guy say?

116. The same thing, but, it's, like, he talks just like me.

117. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go! Come on!

118. Come on! Hit it! Hit it!

119. Smash it! Come on!

120. What are you waiting for? Smash it!

121. Settle down, Beavis.

122. This is a video.

123. Anytime you see a cake and a baseball bat in the same video

124. the cake's gonna get its' ass kicked.

125. Yeah, but why are we waiting so long?

126. Come on! Come on! Break it! Break it!

127. Smash it! Come on! Dammit!

128. Where's the cake? Where's that damned cake?

129. - Let me see it. - You dumb-ass.

130. Break it!

131. I don't see what the big deal is about breaking up. I just, like, say...

132. "Hey, baby. Get lost!"

133. "You know, we can, like, still do it and stuff, but...

134. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

135. Hey, shut up! Check it out!

136. - Yeah! - Yes!

137. - See? I told you, buttmuch. - Yeah.

138. Star pupils, my ass!

139. These two boys are morons!

140. You just weren't reaching them!

141. They've learned everything they're going to learn in elementary school.

142. Now their young minds need room to grow.

143. So, we graduated them early.

144. And we're NOT taking them back!

145. You just weren't reaching us, dude.

146. Yeah. And if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nads.

147. For crying out loud!

148. Hey, maybe they'll break it!

149. Wha—What's going on?

150. This song, it's like, it sounds like everything else sounds like right now.

151. Yeah, it's like there's about a bazillion bands that sound exactly like this right now.

152. At least they're breaking stuff.

153. Wow. They're putting honey on grapes?

154. Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

155. Remember that movie where they buried that guy up to his neck

156. And then, like, put honey on him and brought up the ants?

157. Yeah. That was cool.

158. I tried that once. It was, like, I buried myself up to my neck

159. And it was, like, I forgot to get the honey.

160. You dumb-ass.

161. So I was, like, so then I dug myself out

162. but I was, like, too lazy, you know, to do it again.

163. Remember that time I tried to bury you up to your neck?

164. Yeah, but you got it wrong.

165. In the movie it was, like, feet first.

166. Oh yeah. But you got all freaked out

167. and ran up and down the street with your pants around your ankles.

168. I didn't really run. I just kinda hopped.

169. That was cool.