1. All right! What's the square root of 9?
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2. Beavis and Butt-head!
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3. Do you know the answer?
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4. Can you, like, repeat the
question a few times?
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5. The square root of the number 9!
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6. Answer! Pronto!
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7. Erm... sixty?
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8. 90210?
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9. I M N O P?
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10. I agree with him, boys.
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11. Your difficulties in math,
as well as every other class
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12. make it clear that you just
don't belong in the 9th grade.
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13. I'm calling the principal of the
Wilson Elementary School
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14. to arrange for you both
to go back one grade.
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15. So, like, what grade would that put us in?
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16. Yeah. Are we gonna, like, be, in college?
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17. - That would be cool.
- Yeah. Then we'd score.
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18. Enjoy your new school, boys.
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19. It is in these hills that Juan Valdez
and his trusty goat
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20. gather coffee beans every morning.
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21. Look at that guy's face!
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22. Yeah. I can make a face like that.
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23. Check this out!
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24. That wasn't very good, Butt-head.
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25. That was scary, man.
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26. Yeah, that scared the bejesus out of me.
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27. Black hole sun.
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28. Black hole.
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29. Hole.
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30. Black hole?
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31. Hey Butt-head, what is a black hole?
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32. It's, sort, like a bunghole, but it's like...
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33. Butt-head, check it out, that's
the chick from Whale, remember?
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34. That hobo-slumpin'
homo-slut ... remember?
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35. Shut up, Beavis! I was explainin' somethin'.
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36. So, like, the black hole is, like,
this giant bunghole in outer space
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37. It's like, it sucks up the whole universe.
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38. And it's like...
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39. It grinds it up and sends it
all to hell or something.
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40. Wow, really?
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41. That's cool.
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42. So, like, how do you know all this stuff?
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43. I'm watching Star Trek, bunghole.
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44. This sucks.
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45. Yeah. Why do we have to, like, go
back to 8th grade to get to college?
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46. Cancel out the common factors
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47. And we have x equals 2 squared.
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48. So x is obviously...
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49. So, have you ever, like, been
with an older man?
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50. Leave me alone, you loser.
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51. - "Loser."
- Shut up, dillhole.
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52. Butthole!
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53. Excuse me! Are you paying attention back there?
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54. No.
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55. What did I just say x is?
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56. Two squared.
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57. Two squared.
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58. Two to the second power?
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59. 4 plus 5?
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60. Come on, 4 added to 5?
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61. W?
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62. No way, Beavis.
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63. Like, two squared or something?
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64. This desk is giving me a stiffy.
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65. I don't even have a room for a stiffy.
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66. This sucks!
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67. Hey, Beavis.
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68. - These chicks are flat.
- Yeah.
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69. So, the mean grumpy bear
turns into a nice happy bear.
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70. And he lived happily ever after
with the 100 jars of honey.
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71. Minus one.
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72. Numbers suck.
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73. Are you angry, Butt-head?
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74. Yeah. I'm, like, angry at numbers.
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75. Yeah. There's, like, too many of them and stuff.
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76. That's okay. It's alright to be angry.
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77. Everyone gets angry sometimes.
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78. Well, let's do some coloring now.
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79. Would that be fine?
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80. Yeah! Yeah! Coloring!
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81. What's with you, dumb-ass?
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82. Coloring sucks.
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83. Who wants juice and cookies?
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84. Yeah!
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85. These cookies suck.
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86. Do you have any, like, nachos?
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87. No, I don't have any nachos. Sorry!
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88. And I don't like spitting.
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89. Spitting can spread germs.
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90. Germs! Germs!
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91. Germs rule!
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92. Either get these imbecils out of my class,
or get yourself a new kindergarten teacher!
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93. Well, I can try sending them back to pre-school.
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94. But eventually, they'd come back through here.
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95. Why don't you, like,
put us on a higher grade?
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96. You know, where the chicks have big thingies?
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97. Yeah, yeah. Me too.
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98. See what I mean?
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99. Yes. I see.
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100. Hey, these boys just gave me an idea.
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101. You're looking at the brightest
students that have ever passed
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102. through the hallowed halls of
Wilson Elementary School.
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103. Wow, check it out, Butt-head!
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104. Check back there in the window!
I think she's naked!
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105. Shut up, Beavis! No, she's not.
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106. Okay.
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107. Hey, Beavis. Like I said,
he hears dark voices in his head.
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108. Oh, really?
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109. I hear voices too. But, like,
usually they're white guys.
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110. Sometimes it's, like, you know,
a Chinese dude too that talks to me.
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111. - Or Mexican.
- Really?
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112. - What does the Chinese guy say?
- He says...
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113. "Pull down your pants!"
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114. "Spank your monkey!"
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115. What does the white guy say?
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116. The same thing, but, it's,
like, he talks just like me.
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117. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go!
Come on!
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118. Come on! Hit it! Hit it!
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119. Smash it! Come on!
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120. What are you waiting for? Smash it!
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121. Settle down, Beavis.
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122. This is a video.
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123. Anytime you see a cake and
a baseball bat in the same video
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124. the cake's gonna get its' ass kicked.
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125. Yeah, but why are we waiting so long?
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126. Come on! Come on!
Break it! Break it!
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127. Smash it! Come on! Dammit!
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128. Where's the cake?
Where's that damned cake?
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129. - Let me see it.
- You dumb-ass.
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130. Break it!
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131. I don't see what the big deal is
about breaking up. I just, like, say...
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132. "Hey, baby. Get lost!"
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133. "You know, we can, like,
still do it and stuff, but...
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134. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
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135. Hey, shut up! Check it out!
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136. - Yeah!
- Yes!
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137. - See? I told you, buttmuch.
- Yeah.
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138. Star pupils, my ass!
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139. These two boys are morons!
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140. You just weren't reaching them!
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141. They've learned everything they're
going to learn in elementary school.
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142. Now their young minds need room to grow.
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143. So, we graduated them early.
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144. And we're NOT taking them back!
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145. You just weren't reaching us, dude.
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146. Yeah. And if you try reaching for us,
I'll kick you in the nads.
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147. For crying out loud!
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148. Hey, maybe they'll break it!
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149. Wha—What's going on?
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150. This song, it's like, it sounds like
everything else sounds like right now.
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151. Yeah, it's like there's about a bazillion bands
that sound exactly like this right now.
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152. At least they're breaking stuff.
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153. Wow. They're putting honey on grapes?
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154. Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
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155. Remember that movie where they
buried that guy up to his neck
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156. And then, like, put honey on him
and brought up the ants?
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157. Yeah. That was cool.
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158. I tried that once. It was, like,
I buried myself up to my neck
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159. And it was, like,
I forgot to get the honey.
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160. You dumb-ass.
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161. So I was, like, so then I dug myself out
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162. but I was, like, too lazy,
you know, to do it again.
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163. Remember that time I tried to
bury you up to your neck?
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164. Yeah, but you got it wrong.
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165. In the movie it was, like, feet first.
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166. Oh yeah. But you got all freaked out
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167. and ran up and down the street
with your pants around your ankles.
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168. I didn't really run. I just kinda hopped.
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169. That was cool.
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