Beavis and Butt-head 5x44

Directed by

Adam Welsh as Stewart Stevenson (voice)

The ""Positive Acting Teens"" group, led by Mr. Graham, seeks to rehabilitate some kids in detention with community service. Fat chance, since those kids happen to be Beavis and Butt-head.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. And finally, we promised to reach out to negative teens and lead by example.

2. Amen.

3. Now, don't say amen in school, son.

4. Sorry, dad.

5. Kids, we've had a real terrific year.

6. We cleared 15 pounds of broken bottles from the student parking lot.

7. We sang carols for senior citizens.

8. That old man hit me in the throat with his cane.

9. He was old and confused, Ryan.

10. And we gathered 12 cans of food for the poor.

11. I'd say that deserves a big PAT cheer.

12. How about it?

13. Yay!

14. But there's one group who needs positivity more than anyone, your fellow teens.

15. So today, I want us to go over to detention and help some kids in need of help.

16. Yay!

17. Greetings, coach.

18. The positive acting teens and I were wondering if you'd let us take these boys off your hands

19. for a little positive rehabilitation.

20. Hands.

21. Rehabilitation?

22. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

23. Beevilson butthead, do you wish to be rehabilitated?

24. I'm not know.

25. It makes me Daddy.

26. Hey, that's too bad then, because I order you to follow Mr. Graham

27. and his so called Positive Acting teens, the hell outta here.

28. Now!

29. Hey!

30. And...

31. You guys poodle hair!

32. These guys probably like want to super cut some foot.

33. But you just like make it more poofy?

34. Yeah, but keep the length.

35. Don't want to like poofy on top.

36. And then log in straight on the side.

37. Yeah, that would look really cool.

38. So like, did you ask the barber to make your hair poofy too?

39. Try to put it in.

40. My hair's like this natural.

41. How come I'm so cool?

42. No wonder you're such a wuss.

43. I'm not funny.

44. You're just like a pig.

45. That guy looks like a cheerleader.

46. Yeah, yeah.

47. All those years of hard work and practice in the garage.

48. Finally pay off when you see the looks on those people faces out in the audience.

49. These dudes are like, look at me, I'm kicking.

50. Hey, look at me!

51. I'm trawling my guitar around and wailing my butt, hey?

52. It's like we practice!

53. Yeah, look at me.

54. I'm shaking my hips and kicking just like we did in practice.

55. Oh man, that's it.

56. I'm glad that's over.

57. Yeah, check it out though. They're not stopping.

58. So what do you think? You think we got a hit with this one?

59. So you think we got a hit?

60. Oh, yeah.

61. Oh.

62. Oh, that was funny.

63. Uh-oh.

64. Oh, they went to Blanche over here.

65. Yeah.

66. Yeah.

67. But what if you could go into the future and either give Geordi his normal sight back

68. or make data a real human being?

69. Which would you do?

70. What?

71. Yes, yes, yes.

72. Bummer.

73. I fixed Geordi's eyes because data's just an android and so he won't actually miss not being a human.

74. But Geordi knows what it's like to see so he misses it the most.

75. No way!

76. I'd make data a human being because Geordi sees better without real eyes anyways.

77. Yeah, but that's besides the point.

78. No, it's not.

79. You're such a dummy, man.

80. You're such a dummy.

81. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on. Have fight.

82. Yeah.

83. Kick his ass.

84. Dad!

85. Hey guys.

86. Cool it, okay?

87. That's my dad.

88. But don't worry. He's cool.

89. Really?

90. He doesn't look cool.

91. So, Beavis and Butthead, you boys ready to do something positive?

92. Uh, no.

93. Yeah.

94. No thanks.

95. Well, we understand. Don't we kids?

96. It's real hard to get jazzed up about positivity until you tried it.

97. But being a positive acting teen is all about new experiences, open-mindedness, and change.

98. Change, fuck.

99. So now we're going to change a littered stretch of highway to a clean stretch of highway.

100. Hey!

101. Come on guys. High five.

102. Hey, if you've got some tropical fish around, bring them over to the TV.

103. They won't want to miss what's coming up next.

104. Stay tuned.

105. Michael Road, the boat that's short.

106. Hallelujah! Michael Road, the boat that's short.

107. Hallelujah!

108. Sister, help to trim her sail.

109. Hallelujah!

110. Hey buddy, check it out on the hubcap.

111. We're out here, Beavis.

112. I don't know.

113. No! Dad, dad, what happened?

114. Oh my gosh, dad!

115. Whoa. Is he dead?

116. You killed him!

117. It was a track fault!

118. Hey!

119. Uh, you guys like go be positive and stuff?

120. Me and Beavis are going to go notify the next of scam.

121. I am the next of Ken.

122. Eat my dad remember?

123. Oh yeah.

124. Uh, your dad's dead.

125. It wasn't our fault.

126. He was a track fault.

127. So, uh, I guess they won't mind if we go now.

128. Come on Beavis.

129. Hey, hey, hey, you want to cry baby?

130. Well, I guess I'm going to read a magazine here.

131. Uh, you don't know how to read Beavis?

132. Yeah, you like him for a read.

133. And, um, besides, there's like lots of pictures of cleavage in the back of this magazine.

134. You mind if I, um, find us read this magazine for a while?

135. Uh, I don't give a rat's ass what you do, Beavis.

136. Okay.

137. Oh boy.

138. Yeah, this is a magazine.

139. Pretty cool.

140. Whoa, check it out.

141. Wow.

142. Whoa.

143. That's not my fault.

144. Uh, I'm not going to ask you what you're looking at Beavis.

145. So quit trying.

146. Oh, be damned.

147. Oh, check it out.

148. What's that dude from Loveboat?

149. Look, he looks all old.

150. He's like, like, he has a dog.

151. And I think that's his son.

152. That's great.

153. Um, what is this we're watching, but it's, uh, nothing.

154. Do you have any other magazines?

155. Uh, no, get this one.

156. Can I read it when you're done?

157. Um, no.

158. No, you can't.

159. This is mine.

160. It's for me.

161. It's for me to read.

162. Leave us.

163. Well, this guy was working construction.

164. And he had like this big pole, like shoved through his butt,

165. and came out the other end.

166. And it's like, um, he's still alive.

167. And he has a gigantic bone hole.

168. Uh, where'd you get that, Beavis?

169. I got it in the dentist office.

170. They're like just there.

171. They're free.

172. You can just take them.

173. Boy, this is boring.

174. Where is that dentist office, Beavis?

175. No, it's over there by my maxi mark.

176. Oh, yeah.

177. I'm gonna go get a magazine.

178. Okay.

179. All right.

180. See you later.

181. For today's positive activity, you're gonna wash my wagon here.

182. Um, that's not what my dad said we were gonna do.

183. Your dad's not here, boy.

184. And for the tenth time, if you don't shut up,

185. I'm gonna positively kill you.

186. Are you sure?

187. Uh, I'm positive.

188. Well, you just better start to remember.

189. Mr. Buzzcut says I can keep you in detention for as long as it takes.

190. Beavis, you have fun.

191. Do you know where my credit cards are?

192. Um, no, sir.

193. Positively not.

194. Positive.

195. I don't really feel like staring at this guy's face.

196. But, did you change the channel?

197. Uh, you'll probably just have to stare at some other face.

198. Oh, yeah.

199. Whoa, check it out.

200. They got some of that keel tap cake up there.

201. I'll put up a guy's hand.

202. Uh, oh yeah, that is keel tap cake.

203. You know what I mean?

204. That stuff like I mean.

205. You don't like taste really bad.

206. And it's expensive.

207. But I'm like, I mean, it doesn't really work.

208. Really?

209. You know what I mean?

210. It's supposed to be for diarrhea.

211. Why do I get so like a whole week?

212. And I never got diarrhea.

213. Uh, leave us.

214. Leave us four days later.

215. This is a prick pooped out of my butt.

216. Oh, okay.

217. That was pretty cool.

218. It was like a pig.

219. It was like really big and I was like, I can show it to you if you want.

220. You still have it?

221. Oh yeah, I still have it.

222. It's in my underwear drawer.

223. Leave us.

224. I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear any of this.

225. Why do you think I'm gonna leave you?