1. Get out! Get out, libidinous swine!Copy !req
2. Take that whore, slut,
painted strumpet with you!Copy !req
3. May you both rot in the filth
of your own fornication!Copy !req
4. And what did you say to him?Copy !req
5. Say, madam? I said nothing.Copy !req
6. I simply pulled up my tights
and jumped out of the privy window.Copy !req
7. Oh, Edmund, you're so naughty.Copy !req
8. Well, I try, madam.Copy !req
9. Then 10 minutes later when
I've got my breath back, I try again.Copy !req
10. Perhaps now we can turn
to more important matters of state.Copy !req
11. - Must we?
- I fear so, ma'am.Copy !req
12. It's a tragic case.Copy !req
13. My old tutor, Lord Forest,
his son has been kidnappedCopy !req
14. and he begs you to help
him pay the ransom.Copy !req
15. Edmund, what would you say?Copy !req
16. Well, as you know, Madam,Copy !req
17. I have had experience
of this dreadful situation.Copy !req
18. Only last year, my aunt begged for help
with the ransom of my Uncle Osrick.Copy !req
19. Well, then you know somethingCopy !req
20. - of the dreadful pain involved?
- Indeed, I do,Copy !req
21. and can suggest no better answer
than the one I gave to her.Copy !req
22. Which was?Copy !req
23. Get stuffed.Copy !req
24. Blackadder, you would jest
over a young man's life?Copy !req
25. For young man, read young idiot!Copy !req
26. Look, anyone stupid enough to let
some moustachioed dagoCopy !req
27. come up to them in a corridorCopy !req
28. say, "Excuse me, meester",Copy !req
29. and hit them over the head
with a big stickCopy !req
30. deserves everything they get.Copy !req
31. Oh, hello.
You're in good fooling this morning.Copy !req
32. Ah, thank you, Baldrick.Copy !req
33. I heard quite an amusing story myself,
the other day.Copy !req
34. Oh good.Copy !req
35. Excuse me, meister.Copy !req
36. Yes, what is it?Copy !req
37. I said, "What is it?"
Not, "Hit me hard on the head with a..."Copy !req
38. Melchie, I've completely changed my mind
about that Forest bloke.Copy !req
39. I mean, he's obviously very stupid,
but we can't go 'roundCopy !req
40. punishing people for that, can we?Copy !req
41. Certainly not, ma'am.Copy !req
42. If we went around punishing people
for being stupid,Copy !req
43. Nursie would have been in prison
all her life.Copy !req
44. A very piquant observation, Majesty.Copy !req
45. So I will sign this ransom,
but it must be the last.Copy !req
46. Absolutely the last.Copy !req
47. Final. Full stop.Copy !req
48. Never again.Copy !req
49. Cross my heart and hope to die.Copy !req
50. Surely not, "Hope to die", Majesty?Copy !req
51. Er... All right. I'll cross it out.Copy !req
52. Erm... Here you are.
Sorry about the smudge.Copy !req
53. Thank you, ma'am!Copy !req
54. - Excuse me, meister.
- Yes?Copy !req
55. Oh, God! God!Copy !req
56. What on earth was I drinking last night?Copy !req
57. My head feels like there's
a Frenchman living in it.Copy !req
58. Where am I?Copy !req
59. - Oh!
- Who's that?Copy !req
60. - It is I, Melchett.
- Melchett!Copy !req
61. You really ought to get this house
of yours cleaned up, you know.Copy !req
62. It's a real mess.Copy !req
63. This is no time for jokes, Blackadder.
We've been kidnapped!Copy !req
64. Oh, God, how incredibly embarrassing.Copy !req
65. As private parts to the gods are we,
they play with us for their sport!Copy !req
66. Oh, God! Who's that?Copy !req
67. Just wait a minute, if anyone
is going to be spoken to around here,Copy !req
68. it's gonna be me, all right?
Tell him, Melchie.Copy !req
69. Certainly!Copy !req
70. Ah, that's better.Copy !req
71. Now, what's he saying?Copy !req
72. - He says he would like a word with you.
- Uh-huh. Anything else?Copy !req
73. Yes, he says he would like
to torture you, as well.Copy !req
74. Right, now am I by any chance,Copy !req
75. addressing a senior dignitary
of the Spanish Inquisition?Copy !req
76. Good. Because if I am,
I wish to make it quite clearCopy !req
77. that I am prepared
to tell you absolutely anything.Copy !req
78. No speako dago.Copy !req
79. I demand to see
the British ambassador, understand?Copy !req
80. Oh, for God's sake.Copy !req
81. How can you question me
if you don't speak English?Copy !req
82. All right, let's start with the basics.Copy !req
83. English is a non-inflected,
Indo-European languageCopy !req
84. derived from dialects...Copy !req
85. How's that?Copy !req
86. Percy. Who's queen?Copy !req
87. Whoops! Butterfingers!Copy !req
88. - Ah, so I win again!
- Yes. Well done, Your Majesty!Copy !req
89. And there's definitely been
no sign of Edmund?Copy !req
90. I fear not, ma'am.Copy !req
91. Well then, he's vanished.Copy !req
92. Simply vanished.Copy !req
93. Like an old oak table.Copy !req
94. Vanished, Lord Percy. Not varnished.Copy !req
95. Forgive me, My Lady,Copy !req
96. but my uncle Bertram's
old oak table completely vanished.Copy !req
97. 'Twas on the night
of the Great Stepney Fire.Copy !req
98. And on that same terrible nightCopy !req
99. his house and all his other things
completely vanished too.Copy !req
100. So did he, in fact!Copy !req
101. 'Twas a most perplexing mystery.Copy !req
102. - Lord Percy?
- Yes?Copy !req
103. It's up to you.Copy !req
104. Either you can shut up,Copy !req
105. or you can have your head cut off.Copy !req
106. I'll shut up.Copy !req
107. Bastardo!Copy !req
108. Bas-ta r-do.Copy !req
109. Barrister?Copy !req
110. Bastardo!Copy !req
111. Embarrassing?Copy !req
112. You're embarrassing?
I'm embarrassed?Copy !req
113. Er... Rogering!Copy !req
114. Er... Pregnant.Copy !req
115. Ba by, baby.Copy !req
116. Bathwater.Copy !req
117. - Sounds like... Bastard! Oh, bastard!
- Si!Copy !req
118. - No has terminado!
- Ah.Copy !req
119. Hijo!Copy !req
120. Hijo!Copy !req
121. Donkey.Copy !req
122. Big bastard, little bastard.Copy !req
123. Man? Boy? Man, father...Copy !req
124. Son! I'm a bastard's son!Copy !req
125. Di perra.Copy !req
126. Thirsty bastard.Copy !req
127. Thirsty barking bastard.Copy !req
128. Oh, dog! Dog!Copy !req
129. Woman, dog.Copy !req
130. Woman, dog... Bitch!Copy !req
131. - I'm a bastard son of a bitch!
- Si!Copy !req
132. In that case,
you are a fornicating baboon!Copy !req
133. Que?Copy !req
134. Oh dear! You...Copy !req
135. - Tu? Oh, yo!
- Yeah, yo.Copy !req
136. A fornicating...Copy !req
137. Yes, I can't really do it in this box.Copy !req
138. Tus testiculos...Copy !req
139. My er... Ah, yes, those. Yes.Copy !req
140. Sabre un fuego grande.Copy !req
141. - Over a large...
- Fuego, fuego!Copy !req
142. Fire! Ah, good. Right.Copy !req
143. So, let's recap.Copy !req
144. - If I admit that I'm in love...
- No! No!Copy !req
145. Sorry, head over heels in loveCopy !req
146. with Satan and all his little wizards,Copy !req
147. then you will remove
my testicles with a blunt instrument...Copy !req
148. Una guadana!Copy !req
149. Resembling some kind of
gardening tool but we can't quite...Copy !req
150. - And roast them over a large fire.
- Si! Si!Copy !req
151. Whereas if I don't admitCopy !req
152. that I am in love with Satan
and all his little wizards,Copy !req
153. you will hold me upside down,
in a vat of warm marmalade.Copy !req
154. Si!Copy !req
155. And remove my testicles
with a blunt instrument.Copy !req
156. Oh, I see.Copy !req
157. Well, in that case...
I love Satan.Copy !req
158. Oh, it's a scythe!Copy !req
159. I don't know.
I've looked everywhere!Copy !req
160. PerhapsCopy !req
161. they're notCopy !req
162. hidingCopy !req
163. at all.Copy !req
164. Perhaps, they've been kidnapped!Copy !req
165. Nonsense!Copy !req
166. As Edmund said,
only real idiots get kidnapped.Copy !req
167. Do they?Copy !req
168. Stop!Copy !req
169. Forgive me, Herr Blackadder.Copy !req
170. I have been neglecting
my duties as a host.Copy !req
171. Please accept my apple-ogies.Copy !req
172. I accept nothing from a man
who imprisons his guests in a commode.Copy !req
173. I hope this scum...Copy !req
174. has not inconwenienced you.Copy !req
175. It takes more than a maniac
trying to cut off my gooliesCopy !req
176. to inconwenience me!Copy !req
177. Good, if he had inconwenienced you,Copy !req
178. I was going to offer you his tongue.Copy !req
179. Believe me, sir. If he had
inconwenienced meCopy !req
180. you would not have a tongue
with which to make such an offer.Copy !req
181. Let me assure you,
Herr Blackadder,Copy !req
182. if I no longer had a tongue
with which to make such an offer,Copy !req
183. you would no longer have
a tongue with which to tell meCopy !req
184. that if I had inconwenienced youCopy !req
185. I would no longer have a tongue
with which to offer you his tongue.Copy !req
186. Yes, well, enough of this banter.Copy !req
187. Who the hell are you, sausage breath?Copy !req
188. You do not remember me then,
Herr Blackadder?Copy !req
189. I don't believe I've had the pleasure.Copy !req
190. Oh, on the contrary,
we have met many times.Copy !req
191. Although you knew me
by another name.Copy !req
192. Do you recall a mysterious
black marketeer and smuggler called OttoCopy !req
193. with whom you used to dine, and plot,Copy !req
194. and play the biscuit game
at the Old Pizzle in Dover?Copy !req
195. My God!Copy !req
196. Yes! I was the waitress.Copy !req
197. I don't believe it!
You, Big Sally?Copy !req
198. Will you have
another piece of pie, My Lord?Copy !req
199. But I went to bed with you, didn't I?Copy !req
200. For my country,
I am willing to make any sacrifice.Copy !req
201. Yes, but I'm not.
I must have been paralytic.Copy !req
202. Indeed, you were, Mr Floppy.Copy !req
203. Yes, all right. All right.Copy !req
204. Now, would you mind...Copy !req
205. Such a disappointment
for a girl.Copy !req
206. Yes, all right.
You've had your little joke.Copy !req
207. It really doesn't matter.
We'll try again in a few minutes.Copy !req
208. Have a look through these
naughty parchments.Copy !req
209. Yes, we are proud of our
comic-serving wench voice, aren't we?Copy !req
210. Just because you can say,
"Zir," instead of, "Sir,"Copy !req
211. assumes that all social
gatherings have a tedious little turdCopy !req
212. - who keeps putting on amusing voices.
- Be quiet!Copy !req
213. What else have you gotCopy !req
214. in your astoundingly
inventive repertoire, I wonder?Copy !req
215. A brilliant, drunk Glaswegian,
no doubt.Copy !req
216. A hilarious black man?Copy !req
217. "See you, Jimmy!
Where am dat watty-melon?"Copy !req
218. Oh, fabulous!Copy !req
219. I can't wait
for your side-splitting poof,Copy !req
220. and that funny little croaky oneCopy !req
221. that isn't anyone in particular,
but is such a scream.Copy !req
222. And most of all,
I like the one you do all the time,Copy !req
223. the fat-headed German
chamber pot standing in front of me!Copy !req
224. You know,
you talk too much, Blackadder!Copy !req
225. I think it's a case of werbal diarrhoea
that you're having, hmm?Copy !req
226. I should perhaps tell you
that I have given the Queen only a weekCopy !req
227. to reply to my ransom demand.Copy !req
228. Unless she pays up,
you die, howibly.Copy !req
229. She will pay up.Copy !req
230. And then within a week,
you die, howibly howibly.Copy !req
231. You find yourself amusing, Blackadder?Copy !req
232. I try not to fly in the face
of public opinion.Copy !req
233. You know,
I think that in a week from now,Copy !req
234. you'll be less in the mood
for being amusing.Copy !req
235. At least when I am in the mood
I can be amusing.Copy !req
236. Then choose your next witticism
carefully, Herr Blackadder,Copy !req
237. it may be your last.Copy !req
238. Guards! Fetch his friend.Copy !req
239. No, please! No.Copy !req
240. Lord Melchett, we meet again.Copy !req
241. No, I don't think
we've had the pleasure.Copy !req
242. You don't recognize me, then?Copy !req
243. No.Copy !req
244. Let me refresh your memory.Copy !req
245. You remember, when you were in
Cornwall, at the monastery,Copy !req
246. there was an old shepherd
with whom you used to talk.Copy !req
247. Good Lord! Dimkins?Copy !req
248. Yes! I was one of his sheep.Copy !req
249. - Sheep? Not...
- Yes!Copy !req
250. - Flossie? But didn't we...
- Yes, Lord Melchett!Copy !req
251. Oh, my God!Copy !req
252. But enough of such pleasant
reminiscences, eh?Copy !req
253. The guard has found an interesting
document in your clothing.Copy !req
254. Oh, I shouldn't pay
much attention to that if I were you.Copy !req
255. The queen says that she will
"pay only one ransom,"Copy !req
256. "but it must be the last,
absolutely the last,"Copy !req
257. "final, full stop, never again,"Copy !req
258. "cross my heart and hope to be
spanked until my bottom goes purple."Copy !req
259. She has a difficult choice
in front of her, has she not?Copy !req
260. Not really! Bad luck, Melchie!
Still, life, overrated, I reckon.Copy !req
261. Yes, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do.Copy !req
262. Evil plots don't just make themselves,
you know.Copy !req
263. "Dear Kveen,"Copy !req
264. "I, evil Prince Ludwig
the Indestructible,"Copy !req
265. "have your two friends,"Copy !req
266. "and you must shoes between them."Copy !req
267. "The ransom is one million kroner."Copy !req
268. "Many, many apple-ogies
for the inconwenience."Copy !req
269. My goodness!
What a difficult choice!Copy !req
270. But it isn't the first difficult choiceCopy !req
271. you've ever had to make,
my little tadpole?Copy !req
272. - No, that's true.
- You know,Copy !req
273. in the old days
it was all difficult choices.Copy !req
274. Should you have Nursie milk
or moo-cow milk?Copy !req
275. Of course, it was always Nursie milk.Copy !req
276. But then, left breasty
dumpling or right breasty dumpling?Copy !req
277. Of course,
it was always both breasty dumplings.Copy !req
278. Ah, but then which one first?Copy !req
279. Shut up, Nursie!Copy !req
280. Goodness.
This is very confusing!Copy !req
281. Lord Percy, play a while
to calm my spirits.Copy !req
282. Certainly, ma'am.Copy !req
283. Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake,
baker's man.Copy !req
284. Haha! You're it!
Ring-a-ring-a-rosie! All fall down!Copy !req
285. What say you, Blackadder,
I sing a song to keep our spirits up?Copy !req
286. That all depends whether you want
the slop bucket over your head or not.Copy !req
287. Well, perhaps some pleasant word game?Copy !req
288. Yes, all right.Copy !req
289. Make a sentence out of
the following words,Copy !req
290. face, sodding, your, shut.Copy !req
291. For God's sake, man!Copy !req
292. We must do something
to relieve our mindsCopy !req
293. of the terrible fate which awaits us!Copy !req
294. Awaits you, Melchie, not me.Copy !req
295. How's my beard looking?Copy !req
296. Alas, shall I never see England more?Copy !req
297. Her rolling fields,
her swooping swallows...Copy !req
298. And her playful sheep.Copy !req
299. Ah, about time too!Copy !req
300. Gentlemen, the answer has arrived.Copy !req
301. Thank God! I'm sick of this.Copy !req
302. The conditions are just disgraceful!
Why, it's like a prison in here!Copy !req
303. I shall read it to you.Copy !req
304. Typical master criminal,
loves the sound of his own voice.Copy !req
305. After long
and very careful deliberation,Copy !req
306. the Qveen has decided
to expend the ransom money on...Copy !req
307. A big party.Copy !req
308. Just impossible
to decide between my two faves.Copy !req
309. So, I've decided to keep the cash,Copy !req
310. have a wizzy-jolly time,Copy !req
311. and try to forget both of you.Copy !req
312. Hope you're not too miffed.Copy !req
313. Bye-ee!Copy !req
314. What?Copy !req
315. "Hope you're not too miffed.
Bye-ee."Copy !req
316. As you can imagine,
my friends, this makes me very unhappy.Copy !req
317. Oh, I am sorry.Copy !req
318. But if you gentlemen were
to tell me a way to, let us say,Copy !req
319. gain access to your queen,Copy !req
320. I might just be able to
commute your deaths to a life sentence.Copy !req
321. Are you suggesting we betray her?Copy !req
322. Oh, yes!Copy !req
323. All right!Copy !req
324. Blackadder, what are you saying?
What of loyalty, honor, self-respect?Copy !req
325. What of them?Copy !req
326. Nothing.Copy !req
327. So you will both play ball?Copy !req
328. Yep!Copy !req
329. Oh, what joy!Copy !req
330. See how you collapse before me,Copy !req
331. you great and incorruptible
English knobs.Copy !req
332. So proud of your great big
stiff upper lips, hmm?Copy !req
333. Gloating is a sign of insecurity,
Ludwig, stop it.Copy !req
334. Now, do you want to know how
to get to the Queen or not?Copy !req
335. Yes. I thought some
kind of disguise.Copy !req
336. You know, I do a very good
Mary Queen of Scots!Copy !req
337. Hoots mon! Where's ma heed?Copy !req
338. What sort of party should it be?Copy !req
339. Oh, fancy dress.
I love fancy dress!Copy !req
340. Nursie?Copy !req
341. I think it should be one of those onesCopy !req
342. where everybody comes
with nothing on at all.Copy !req
343. Shut up, then.Copy !req
344. I agree with you,
acting Lord Chamberlain.Copy !req
345. If we're really
going to forget our woes,Copy !req
346. we should have as much fun as possible.Copy !req
347. And what could be more fun than a party
where people come dressed asCopy !req
348. frogs, and rabbit, and nuns?Copy !req
349. And bits of wood.Copy !req
350. You're not going to come
as a bit of wood.Copy !req
351. - Aren't I?
- No!Copy !req
352. Oh.Copy !req
353. Well, how about a pencil, then?
Should I come as a pencil?Copy !req
354. Don't be silly, Nursie.Copy !req
355. You always talk like thisCopy !req
356. and you always end up
coming as the same thing.Copy !req
357. - Do I?
- Yes. You know... Everybo...Copy !req
358. Lassie,Copy !req
359. what does Nursie always come
to fancy dress parties dressed as?Copy !req
360. - I thought everybody knew.
- Yes, everybody apparently,Copy !req
361. except Nursie. Tell her!Copy !req
362. She always comes as a cow.Copy !req
363. Yes, that's right!Copy !req
364. A lovely, lovely cow,
with great big lovely udders!Copy !req
365. Swinging around going "Moo".Copy !req
366. Come to Nursie cow, you lovely heifers.
Oh, yes, what fun!Copy !req
367. I want to be a cow again, please?Copy !req
368. Shut up! Isn't Nursie stupid?Copy !req
369. She certainly is, ma'am!Copy !req
370. You see!Copy !req
371. We're having a good time already!Copy !req
372. We've completely forgotten
about those chaps in prison, haven't we?Copy !req
373. What chaps?Copy !req
374. My friends, I've come
to bid you farewell.Copy !req
375. These guards will ewentually
die of old age,Copy !req
376. but their sons will attend
to your needs!Copy !req
377. Thank you for your concern,
but, in fact, we intend to escape.Copy !req
378. With your information, gentlemen,Copy !req
379. I intend to bring down
your queen and country.Copy !req
380. The master of disguise
will become the master of the world!Copy !req
381. - One thing, Ludwig, just before you go.
- What?Copy !req
382. Were you ever bullied at school?Copy !req
383. What do you mean?Copy !req
384. All this ranting and raving about power,
there must be some reason for it.Copy !req
385. Nonsense! At my school,Copy !req
386. having dirty hair and spots
was a sign of maturity.Copy !req
387. I thought so!Copy !req
388. And I bet your mother
made you wear shortsCopy !req
389. right up till your final year!Copy !req
390. Shut up! Shut up!Copy !req
391. When I am king of England,
no one will ever dare call meCopy !req
392. Shorty-Greasy-Spot-Spot again!Copy !req
393. Touched a nerve there,
I think!Copy !req
394. What good is it going to do usCopy !req
395. if we're doomed to rot here
until we die?Copy !req
396. - Don't worry. I've got a plan.
- Really?Copy !req
397. Yes. Now that Ludwig's gone,Copy !req
398. we should have no trouble
overcoming the guards.Copy !req
399. Germans are sticklers for efficiency
and I've been watching their routine.Copy !req
400. I've selected the moment
when they are at their most vulnerable.Copy !req
401. That is when we will attack.Copy !req
402. - Brilliant! How?
- That is the most cunning bit!Copy !req
403. Right, now this is it!Copy !req
404. Don't forget,
when they are at their most vulnerable.Copy !req
405. Halt! Jingle the keys!Copy !req
406. Open the door!Copy !req
407. Greetings to the prisoners.Copy !req
408. English scum.Copy !req
409. March to the table!Copy !req
410. Halt!Copy !req
411. Food on ze table!Copy !req
412. Spit on ze food!Copy !req
413. Insulting farewell gesture
to the prisoners!Copy !req
414. - Now!
- Ooh!Copy !req
415. Trust me to get the hard one!Copy !req
416. Yo-ho-ho!
Off with their heads!Copy !req
417. Ma'am, it is brilliant!Copy !req
418. Your father is born again!Copy !req
419. I bloody well hope not,
or else I won't be queen any more.Copy !req
420. Yours is pretty good too.
What is it?Copy !req
421. It's nothing, ma'am!
Just a mere trifle I threw together.Copy !req
422. Doesn't look much like a trifle.Copy !req
423. More like a fruit salad to me.Copy !req
424. I see Nursie's really
excelled herself!Copy !req
425. Yes. She has!Copy !req
426. Hmm. I'm not sure about this, though.Copy !req
427. What are you meant to be?Copy !req
428. A pencil case.Copy !req
429. Yes!Copy !req
430. Oh! It's just like parties
I had when I was tiny.Copy !req
431. We had tea and cakes and venison.Copy !req
432. And then a trip with a couple
of little friends to the executions.Copy !req
433. How sweet.Copy !req
434. If I wanted any of my
little friends executed, that is.Copy !req
435. Oh! How I do wish
Edmund could be here!Copy !req
436. He always loved parties.Copy !req
437. And always, always wore very,
very tight tights.Copy !req
438. Edmund who?Copy !req
439. Edmund Blackadder! Majesty.Copy !req
440. - Oh, Edmund! But... Oh!
- Did you ever know me to miss a party?Copy !req
441. But what about Lord Melchett?Copy !req
442. Yes. Unfortunately, ma'am,
he made it too.Copy !req
443. Rapture!Copy !req
444. Joy beyond measure!Copy !req
445. Bliss which cannot be counted
on one's fingers!Copy !req
446. Oh!Copy !req
447. Sorry, Edmund?Copy !req
448. Nothing.Copy !req
449. Yes. Erm...Copy !req
450. Unfortunately, apart from
my nose getting a little prettier,Copy !req
451. nothing much has changed around here.Copy !req
452. Your animal still isn't
house trained.Copy !req
453. Percy's still unemployed,Copy !req
454. and Nursie's one stick short
of a bundle.Copy !req
455. Ah, yes. Thank you for
reminding me.Copy !req
456. Nursie! You've killed Nursie!Copy !req
457. That's horrid.Copy !req
458. Guards! Take him away and execute him!Copy !req
459. He's killed Nursie.Copy !req
460. Can anyone help me with my udders?Copy !req
461. - Nursie!
- Yes.Copy !req
462. Yes! And may I introduce
our erstwhile captor,Copy !req
463. Prince Ludwig the Indestructible!Copy !req
464. Ah! Queen Elizabeth!
We meet again!Copy !req
465. Er, no, I don't think so actually.Copy !req
466. Yes, do you remember
when you were young,Copy !req
467. your father used to take you riding
on a magnificent grey ponyCopy !req
468. that you used to kiss and fondle
in the stable yard?Copy !req
469. I was the tall and attractive
German stable lad who held him.Copy !req
470. - No!
- Yes!Copy !req
471. - You?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
472. - Shorty-Greasy-Spot-Spot?
- No!Copy !req
473. No, no, no!Copy !req
474. You will all of you regret the day
that you ever mocked my complexion!Copy !req
475. I shall return and vreak my rewengee!Copy !req
476. No, you won't.
You will die and be buried!Copy !req
477. Hooray!Copy !req
478. Strange man.Copy !req
479. But how did you know it was him?Copy !req
480. This was the information
with which we bought our lives.Copy !req
481. We told him that if the Queen
was having a party,Copy !req
482. that Nursie always goes as a cow.Copy !req
483. From that moment, he was doomed.Copy !req
484. All we had to do was escape,
return, and kill the cow.Copy !req
485. How could you be sure
it was not Nursie?Copy !req
486. Because, lady, Ludwig was
a master of disguise,Copy !req
487. whereas Nursie is a sad,
insane old woman with an udder fixation.Copy !req
488. All we had to do was kill
the one that looked like the cow!Copy !req
489. That was the mistake
I knew that Ludwig would make.Copy !req
490. His disguise was too good.Copy !req
491. Gosh, Edmund! How brilliant!
Welcome home!Copy !req
492. Well, I must say, ma'am,
it's good to be back.Copy !req
493. Welcome, Edmund! Did you...Copy !req
494. Miss me?Copy !req
495. I certainly did.Copy !req
496. Many was the time, Percy,
I said to myself,Copy !req
497. "I wish Percy was here..."Copy !req
498. Oh!Copy !req
499. "... being tortured instead of me!"Copy !req
500. Oh, we have missed your wit!Copy !req
501. Did you miss me, My Lord?Copy !req
502. - Erm... Baldrick, is it?
- That's right.Copy !req
503. No, not really.Copy !req
504. And me?Copy !req
505. Did you miss me, Edmund?Copy !req
506. Madam, life without you is likeCopy !req
507. a broken pencil.Copy !req
508. Explain.Copy !req
509. Pointless.Copy !req
510. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
511. Now this is a disguise
I'm really going to enjoy.Copy !req
512. If I can just get the voice right.Copy !req