1. You look smart, Mr Blackadder.
Going somewhere nice?Copy !req
2. No. I'm off to the theatre.Copy !req
3. - Don't you like it, then?
- No, I don't!Copy !req
4. A lot of stupid actors,
strutting around,Copy !req
5. shouting with their chests thrust out
so far you'd think their nipplesCopy !req
6. were attached to a pair
of charging elephants!Copy !req
7. And the worst thing about it is having
to go with Prince Mini-brain!Copy !req
8. What, doesn't he like it either?Copy !req
9. Oh, no, he loves it.Copy !req
10. The problem is he doesn't realize
it's made up.Copy !req
11. Last year, when Brutus
was about to kill Julius Caesar,Copy !req
12. the Prince yelled out
"Look behind you, Mr Caesar!"Copy !req
13. I can't see the point in the theatre.Copy !req
14. All that sex and violence.
I get enough of that at home.Copy !req
15. Apart from the sex, of course.Copy !req
16. And while we're out, Baldrick,Copy !req
17. I want you to give this palace
a good clean.Copy !req
18. It's so dirty, it would be unacceptable
to a dung beetleCopy !req
19. that had lost interest in its career
and really let itself go.Copy !req
20. Come along,
Blackadder! We'll miss the first act!Copy !req
21. Coming, sir, as fast as I can!Copy !req
22. Stick the kettle on, Baldrick.Copy !req
23. Now, sir, give I this advice to thee.Copy !req
24. Never, never, never trust thine enemy!Copy !req
25. Thy life is forfeit!Copy !req
26. Thy life is forfeit, sir, and at an end.Copy !req
27. Like our poor play.
We hope it pleased you, friend.Copy !req
28. Certainly not, you murdering rotter!
Guards, arrest that man!Copy !req
29. Highness, it's only a play!Copy !req
30. Oh, well, that's all very well,Copy !req
31. but what about
the poor fellow who's dead?Copy !req
32. Saying "It's only a play" will not feedCopy !req
33. and clothe the little ones
he leaves behind!Copy !req
34. Call the militia!Copy !req
35. But, sir, he's not dead!
See, he stands, awaiting your applause.Copy !req
36. Oh, I see, that's very clever!Copy !req
37. I thought he was really dead.
Bravo! Bravo!Copy !req
38. Blast! The Prince likes it.Copy !req
39. Oh, shit. We'll close tonight!Copy !req
40. Work for the weavers!
Smash the Spinning Jenny!Copy !req
41. Burn the Rolling Rosalind!Copy !req
42. Destroy the Going Up and Down a Bit
and then Moving Along Gertrude!Copy !req
43. And death to the stupid PrinceCopy !req
44. who grows fat on the profits!Copy !req
45. I say, how exciting!Copy !req
46. This play's getting
better and better! Bravo!Copy !req
47. It's not a play any more, sir.Copy !req
48. Put the bomb down and make
your way quietly to the exit.Copy !req
49. Blackadder, you old thing.Copy !req
50. Your trouble is you can't tell
when something's real and when it's not!Copy !req
51. I must say, Blackadder,
that was a close shave.Copy !req
52. Why on earth would an anarchist
possibly want to kill you?Copy !req
53. I think it might've been you
he was after, sir.Copy !req
54. Oh, hogwash!
What on earth makes you say that?Copy !req
55. Well my suspicions were first aroused
by his use of the words,Copy !req
56. "Death to the stupid prince."Copy !req
57. That was a bit rude, wasn't it?Copy !req
58. These are volatile times, Your Highness.Copy !req
59. The American Revolution
lost your father the colonies,Copy !req
60. the French Revolution
murdered brave King Louis,Copy !req
61. and there are tremendous rumblings
in Prussia,Copy !req
62. although that might be something
to do with the sausages.Copy !req
63. The whole world cries out
"Peace, freedom,"Copy !req
64. "and a few less fat bastards
eating all the pie!"Copy !req
65. Well, yes, quite.
Something must be done. Any ideas?Copy !req
66. Yes, sir. Next week it is your royal
father's birthday celebrations.Copy !req
67. I suggest that I write
a brilliant speech for you to reciteCopy !req
68. to show the oppressed masses
how unusually sensitive you are.Copy !req
69. Well, tell me about
these oppressed masses,Copy !req
70. I mean,
what are they so worked up about?Copy !req
71. They're worked up, sir,
because they are so poorCopy !req
72. they are forced to have childrenCopy !req
73. simply to provide a cheap alternative
to turkey at Christmas.Copy !req
74. Disease and deprivation stalk our land
like two giant stalking things.Copy !req
75. And the working man
is poised to overthrow us.Copy !req
76. Oh, my God, and here he is!Copy !req
77. Don't be silly, sir, that's Baldrick,
my dogsbody.Copy !req
78. What's silly about that?
He looks like an oppressed mass to me.Copy !req
79. Get him out of here at once!Copy !req
80. Shoo, Baldrick!
Carry on with your cleaning elsewhere.Copy !req
81. And by the end of tonight,
I want that dining table so cleanCopy !req
82. I could eat my dinner off it.Copy !req
83. Crikey, Blackadder!Copy !req
84. I'm dicing with death here!Copy !req
85. The sooner I can show how unusually
sensitive I am, the better.Copy !req
86. Oh!Copy !req
87. I've just had another brilliant thought!Copy !req
88. Another one, Your Highness?Copy !req
89. Yes, another one actually.
You remember that one I had aboutCopy !req
90. wearing underwear on the outside
to save on laundry bills.Copy !req
91. Oh, but this time,
I'm thinking to myself,Copy !req
92. "Hello, why don't we ask
those two actor chappiesCopy !req
93. "we saw tonight to teach me how to
recite your speech." Brilliant, eh?Copy !req
94. No, Your Highness, feeble.Copy !req
95. What?Copy !req
96. I would advise against it.
It's a feeble idea.Copy !req
97. Well, tish and pish
to your advice, Blackadder.Copy !req
98. Get them here at once!Copy !req
99. Damn it, I'm fed up with you treating me
like I'm some kind of a thicky!Copy !req
100. It's not me that's thick, it's you!
And do you know why?Copy !req
101. Because I'm a bloody prince
and you're only a butler.Copy !req
102. Now go get those actors this minute,
Mr Thicky-Black-Thicky-Adder-Thicky!Copy !req
103. Mrs Miggins,
I'm looking for a couple of actors.Copy !req
104. Well, you've come
to the right place, Mr B.Copy !req
105. There's more Shakespearean dialogue
in here than there are buns.Copy !req
106. All my lovely actors pop in
on their way to rehearsalCopy !req
107. for a little cup of coffee,
and a big dollop of inspiration!Copy !req
108. You mean they actually rehearse?Copy !req
109. I thought they just got drunk,
stuck on a silly hat,Copy !req
110. and trusted to luck.Copy !req
111. Oh, no!Copy !req
112. There's ever so much hard work
that goes intoCopy !req
113. the wonderful magic
that is theatre today!Copy !req
114. Still, I don't expect you'd know much
about that, being only a little butler.Copy !req
115. They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults
hurt more than physical pain.Copy !req
116. They are, of course, wrong,
as you will soon discoverCopy !req
117. when I stick this toasting fork
in your head.Copy !req
118. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
119. will you please welcome,
Mr David Keanrick!Copy !req
120. - Gentlemen!
- And the fabulous Mr Enoch Mossop.Copy !req
121. Settle down, settle down.Copy !req
122. I'm sorry, no autographs, please.Copy !req
123. My usual, Mrs M.Copy !req
124. Oh, coming up, my lovely!Copy !req
125. Well, if I can just squeeze through
this admiring rabble.Copy !req
126. Gentlemen, I've come with a proposition.Copy !req
127. How dare you, sir!Copy !req
128. You think just because we're actors,
we sleep with everyone!Copy !req
129. I think, being actors,
you're lucky to sleep with anyone.Copy !req
130. I come here on behalf of my employer,
to ask for some elocution lessons.Copy !req
131. I fear, sir, that is quite impossible.Copy !req
132. We are in the middle of rehearsing
our new play.Copy !req
133. We could not possibly betray
our beloved audience by taking time off.Copy !req
134. Oh, no. Mustn't upset the punters.Copy !req
135. Bums on seats, laddie, bums on seats.Copy !req
136. And what play is this?Copy !req
137. It is a piece we penned ourselves,Copy !req
138. called The Bloody Murder
of the Foul Prince RomeroCopy !req
139. and His Enormous-Bosomed Wife.Copy !req
140. A philosophical work, then?Copy !req
141. Indeed yes, sir.Copy !req
142. The violence of the murder,
and the vastness of the bosomCopy !req
143. are entirely justified artistically.Copy !req
144. Right. Well, I'll tell the Prince
that you can't make it.Copy !req
145. - Prince?
- Sorry, yes. Didn't I mention that?Copy !req
146. It's the Prince Regent.
Shame you can't make it.Copy !req
147. Still, there you go.Copy !req
148. Oh, no, no, no, no, sir, please,
no, please wait, sir.Copy !req
149. Off, off!Copy !req
150. Sir, I think we can find some time,
do you not, Mr Keanrick?Copy !req
151. Definitely, Mr Mossop.Copy !req
152. No, no, you've got your beloved audience
to think about.Copy !req
153. Oh, sod the proles!Copy !req
154. Yes, worthless bastards to a man.Copy !req
155. It's nice to see artistic integrity
thriving so stronglyCopy !req
156. in the acting community.Copy !req
157. Well, this afternoon at 4:00 then,
at the palace.Copy !req
158. Well, what do you think?Copy !req
159. Are you ill or something?Copy !req
160. No, I'm simply trying
to look more like an actor.Copy !req
161. Well, I'm sure you don't need
the false moustache.Copy !req
162. - No?
- No.Copy !req
163. Egads, it's that oppressed mass again!Copy !req
164. No, sir, that is Baldrick,
spring-cleaning.Copy !req
165. Oh, yes, so it is.Copy !req
166. - Finish the job later, Baldrick.
- Very well, sir.Copy !req
167. The cleaning or the being strangled?Copy !req
168. Either suits me.Copy !req
169. Look, Blackadder, this is all getting
a bit hairy, isn't it?Copy !req
170. I mean, are you sure we can even
trust these acting fellows?Copy !req
171. The last time we went to the theatre,
three of them murdered Julius Caesar!Copy !req
172. And one of them
was his best friend, Brutus.Copy !req
173. As I've told you about eight times,Copy !req
174. the man playing Julius Caesar
was an actor, called Kemp!Copy !req
175. - Really?
- Yes!Copy !req
176. Thundering gherkins, well,Copy !req
177. Brutus must've been pretty
miffed when he found out.Copy !req
178. What?Copy !req
179. That he hadn't killed Caesar after all,
just some poxy actor called Kemp!Copy !req
180. I wonder did he go around
to Caesar's placeCopy !req
181. after the play and kill him then?Copy !req
182. Oh, God. It's pathetic!Copy !req
183. Is that the door?Copy !req
184. Oh, don't worry, it's just the actors.Copy !req
185. - My uncle Baldrick was in a play once.
- Really?Copy !req
186. Yeah, it was called Macbeth.Copy !req
187. And what did he play?Copy !req
188. Second codpiece.Copy !req
189. Macbeth wore him in the fight scenes.Copy !req
190. So he was a stunt codpiece?Copy !req
191. Yes.Copy !req
192. Did he have a large part?Copy !req
193. Depends who was playing Macbeth.Copy !req
194. Oh, incidentally Baldrick,
actors are very superstitious.Copy !req
195. On no account mention the word
"Macbeth" this evening, alright.Copy !req
196. Why not?Copy !req
197. It brings them bad luck,
and it makes them very unhappy.Copy !req
198. Oh. So you won't be
mentioning it either.Copy !req
199. No.Copy !req
200. Well, not very often.Copy !req
201. You should have knocked.Copy !req
202. Our knocks, you impertinent butler,Copy !req
203. were loud enough
to wake the hounds of hell!Copy !req
204. - Lead on, Macduff.
- I shall.Copy !req
205. Lest you continue in your quotation,Copy !req
206. and mention the name
of the Scottish play.Copy !req
207. Oh, never fear, I shan't do that!Copy !req
208. By the Scottish play,
I assume you mean... Macbeth.Copy !req
209. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
210. What was that?Copy !req
211. We were exorcising evil spirits.Copy !req
212. Being but a mere butler,Copy !req
213. you will not know
the great theatre traditionCopy !req
214. that one does never speak the name
of the Scottish play.Copy !req
215. - What, Macbeth?
- Argh!Copy !req
216. Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
217. You mean you have to do that
every time I say Macbeth?Copy !req
218. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
219. Will you please stop saying that!Copy !req
220. Always call it "the Scottish play."Copy !req
221. So you want me to say
"the Scottish play"?Copy !req
222. - Yes!
- Rather than ”Macbeth”?Copy !req
223. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
224. For heaven's sake,
what is all this hullabaloo?Copy !req
225. All this shouting and screaming
and yelling blue murder?Copy !req
226. Why, it's like that play
we saw the other day.Copy !req
227. - What was it called? Er...
- Macbeth, sir?Copy !req
228. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
229. No, no, it was called Julius Caesar.Copy !req
230. Ah, yes, of course. Julius Caesar.Copy !req
231. Not Macbeth.Copy !req
232. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
233. Are you sure you want these
people to stay?Copy !req
234. Of course! I asked them, didn't I?
Mr Thicky Butler!Copy !req
235. Your Royal Highness, may I sayCopy !req
236. what a great honor it is
to be invited here.Copy !req
237. - Why, certainly!
- Thank you.Copy !req
238. What a great honor that it is to be
invited here to make merry in the hallsCopy !req
239. of our King's loins'
most glorious outpourings.Copy !req
240. Ugh!Copy !req
241. Now, Your Highness,
shall we begin straightaway?Copy !req
242. Absolutely, yes, now I've got this uh...Copy !req
243. Now sir, before we inspect the script,Copy !req
244. let us have a look at stance.Copy !req
245. Right.Copy !req
246. Yes. Now, the ordinary fellow
stands like, well, as you do now.Copy !req
247. Whereas your hero...Copy !req
248. Stands thus.Copy !req
249. Right. I see, sort of like this?Copy !req
250. Excellent, Your Highness.
Even more so.Copy !req
251. More like that?Copy !req
252. What was that noise?Copy !req
253. It wasn't me!Copy !req
254. We are used to standing
in this position.Copy !req
255. It came from over here.Copy !req
256. - Anarchist!
- Cleaner!Copy !req
257. Alright, so you've had a wash,
that's no excuse!Copy !req
258. - Die, traitor!
- Argh!Copy !req
259. Sir, that is Baldrick, spring cleaning.Copy !req
260. Rubbish! Look, he's got a bomb!Copy !req
261. It's not a bomb, sir, it's a sponge.Copy !req
262. Oh, yes, so it is.Copy !req
263. Well, get it out of here
at once, before it explodes.Copy !req
264. Now then, stance, I'm sorry about that,
I think we really had something there.Copy !req
265. Oh, yes, Your Highness.Copy !req
266. Why, your very posture tells me,
"Here is a man of true greatness!"Copy !req
267. Either that or, "Here are my genitals.
Please kick them."Copy !req
268. Sir, I really must ask
that this ill-educated oafCopy !req
269. be removed from the room.Copy !req
270. Yes, get out, sir!Copy !req
271. Your presence here
is as useful as fine bone chinaCopy !req
272. at a tea party for drunken elephants!Copy !req
273. Is that right?Copy !req
274. Well, yes, hang it all, get out,
Blackadder, and stop corking our juices!Copy !req
275. Certainly, Your Highness.
I'll leave you to dribble in private.Copy !req
276. Something wrong, Mr B?Copy !req
277. I've just about had it up
to here with that Prince!Copy !req
278. One more insult and I'll
be handing in my notice!Copy !req
279. Ooh, does that mean
I'll be butler?Copy !req
280. Not unless some
kindly passing surgeonCopy !req
281. cuts your head open with a spade
and sticks a new brain in it!Copy !req
282. Oh, right.Copy !req
283. I don't know why I put up
with it, I really don't!Copy !req
284. Every year at the
Guild of Butlers Christmas party,Copy !req
285. I'm the one who has to wear
the red nose and the pointy hatCopy !req
286. for winning the "Who's Got the
Stupidest Master" competition!Copy !req
287. All I can say is,
he'd better watch out!Copy !req
288. One more foot wrong,
and the contract between usCopy !req
289. will be as broken as this milk jug.Copy !req
290. But that milk jug isn't broken.Copy !req
291. You really do walk into
these things, don't you?Copy !req
292. Excellent! And now, sir,
at last, the speech.Copy !req
293. Right.Copy !req
294. No, no, no, no, no,Copy !req
295. Your Royal Highness,
what have you forgotten?Copy !req
296. Oh, now look, if I stand
any more heroically than this,Copy !req
297. I'm in danger of seriously
disappointing my future Queen!Copy !req
298. No, Your Highness,
not the stance,Copy !req
299. the roar!Copy !req
300. You want me to roar?Copy !req
301. Well of course
we wish you to roar.Copy !req
302. All great orators roar before
commencing their speeches.Copy !req
303. It is the way of things.Copy !req
304. Mr Keanrick, from your
Hamlet please.Copy !req
305. Oh, to be or not to be...Copy !req
306. From your Julius Caesar.Copy !req
307. Oh,
friends, Romans, countrymen...Copy !req
308. From your leading character
in a play connected with Scotland?Copy !req
309. That's Macbeth, isn't it?Copy !req
310. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
311. Enough!Copy !req
312. Let's all roar together, shall we?
One, two, three...Copy !req
313. Oh!Copy !req
314. Excellent, Your Highness!Copy !req
315. Now shall we try
putting it all together?Copy !req
316. Right.Copy !req
317. Wha!Copy !req
318. Unaccustomed as I am...Copy !req
319. Alas, I fear you mew it
like a frightened tree.Copy !req
320. May I see the speech?
Thank you.Copy !req
321. Oh, no, no, no!Copy !req
322. Who wrote this drivel?Copy !req
323. Is there a problem
with the speech?Copy !req
324. Problem!Copy !req
325. Well, yes!
There is a problem, actually!Copy !req
326. The problem is that you wrote it,Copy !req
327. Mr Hopelessly-Drivelly-Can't-
Write-For-Toffee-Crappy-Butler-Weed!Copy !req
328. Whoops.Copy !req
329. Shall I get their supper, sir?Copy !req
330. Yes! Preferably something
that has first passedCopy !req
331. through the digestive system of a cat.Copy !req
332. And you'll have to
take it up yourself.Copy !req
333. - Why?
- Because I'm leaving, Baldrick!Copy !req
334. I'm about to enter
the job market.Copy !req
335. Right, let's see.
Situations vacant.Copy !req
336. Mr and Mrs Pitt are looking
for a baby minderCopy !req
337. to take Pitt the Younger to Parliament.Copy !req
338. There's a fella called George Stephenson
who's invented a moving kettle,Copy !req
339. and wants someone to
help with the marketing.Copy !req
340. Oh, and there's
a foreign opportunity here.Copy !req
341. "Treacherous, malicious,
unprincipled cad, preferably non-smoker,"Copy !req
342. "wanted to be
King of Sardinia."Copy !req
343. "No time-wasters, please.
Napoleon Bonaparte, PO Box 1, Paris."Copy !req
344. Right, we're on our way!Copy !req
345. Oh, sir, about costume.
Any thoughts?Copy !req
346. Well, enormous trousers,
certainly! Erm...Copy !req
347. And then I though, perhaps,
an admiral's uniform,Copy !req
348. because we know what
all the nice girls love, don't we?Copy !req
349. I'll tell you what!
Why don't I go and try them on for you?Copy !req
350. Oh, a super idea!Copy !req
351. Erm, help yourself to wine.Copy !req
352. You'll need a stiff drink when you see
the size of these damn trousers!Copy !req
353. Oh, my dear,
what a ghastly evening!Copy !req
354. You're so right, love.Copy !req
355. Look, while he's gone,Copy !req
356. why don't we have a quick read throughCopy !req
357. of The Murder of Prince Romero
and his Enormously Bosomea' Wife.Copy !req
358. - Act 1, scene 1?
- Mmm, yeah.Copy !req
359. "Spring has come with all
its gentle showers."Copy !req
360. "Methinks 'tis time to
hack the Prince to death."Copy !req
361. Baldrick, I would like to say
how much I will missCopy !req
362. your honest and
friendly companionship.Copy !req
363. Oh, thank you, Mr B.Copy !req
364. But as we both know,
it would be an utter lie.Copy !req
365. I will therefore confine myself
to saying simply,Copy !req
366. Sod off,Copy !req
367. if I ever meet you again,
it'll be 20 billion years too soon.Copy !req
368. Goodbye, you lazy,
big nosed, rubberfaced bastard.Copy !req
369. I fear, Baldrick, that you will soon
be eating those badly-chosen words.Copy !req
370. I wouldn't bet you a single groatCopy !req
371. that you could survive
five minutes here without me.Copy !req
372. Oh, come on, Mr B, it's not as
though we're gonna getCopy !req
373. murdered or anything
the minute you leave, is it?Copy !req
374. Hope springs eternal, Baldrick.Copy !req
375. Coming!Copy !req
376. Oh! Let's kill the Prince!
Who shall strike first?Copy !req
377. Let me, and let this dagger's point
prick out his soft eyeball,Copy !req
378. and sup with glee
upon its exquisite jelly.Copy !req
379. Have you the stomach?Copy !req
380. I have not killed him yet, sir,
but when I do,Copy !req
381. I shall have the stomach
and the liver, too.Copy !req
382. And the floppily-doppilies
in their horrid glue.Copy !req
383. What if a servant should
hear us in our plotting?Copy !req
384. Ha ha!Copy !req
385. Then shall we have
servant sausages for tea,Copy !req
386. and servant rissoles
shall our supper be.Copy !req
387. Murder! Murder! Murder!Copy !req
388. - The revolution's started!
- What?Copy !req
389. A plot! A plot to kill you!Copy !req
390. Ah! So, you've come clean at last,
have you, you bloody little poor person!Copy !req
391. No, not me, the actors downstairs,
they're anarchists!Copy !req
392. - Anarchists?
- Yeah, I heard them plotting!Copy !req
393. They're gonna poke out your liver,
turn me into a rissole,Copy !req
394. and then suck on your
exquisite floppily-doppilies!Copy !req
395. what're we gonna do?Copy !req
396. Well, Mr Blackadder saysCopy !req
397. "When the going gets tough the tough
hide under the table."Copy !req
398. Blackadder, of course!
Well, where is he?Copy !req
399. Oh, he's in Sardinia.Copy !req
400. - What? Why?
- Well, you were rude to him, so he left.Copy !req
401. Oh, no, what a mad, blundering,Copy !req
402. incredibly handsome
young nincompoop I've been!Copy !req
403. what're we gonna do?Copy !req
404. If we go downstairs,
they'll chop us up and eat us alive!Copy !req
405. Oh, no. We're doomed!
Doomed! Doomed!Copy !req
406. Shh!Copy !req
407. - Good evening, Your Highness.
- Oh, Blackadder!Copy !req
408. Four minutes, 22 seconds, Baldrick.
You owe me a groat.Copy !req
409. Thank God you're here.
We desperately need you!Copy !req
410. Me, sir? Mr Thicky-Black-
Thicky-Adder-Thicky?Copy !req
411. Oh, tish, nonsense!Copy !req
412. - Mr Hopelessly-Drivelly-Can't-Write-
For-Toffee-Crappy-Butler-Weed?Copy !req
413. Yes, well...Copy !req
414. Mr Brilliantly-Undervalued-Butler-
Who-Hasn't-Had-A-Raise-In-A-Fortnight?Copy !req
415. Take an extra thousand?
Guineas? Per month?Copy !req
416. All right.
What's your problem?Copy !req
417. The actors have turned out
to be vicious anarchists!Copy !req
418. They intend to kill us all!Copy !req
419. What, are they gonna
bore us to death?Copy !req
420. No, no, stab us,
Baldrick overheard them.Copy !req
421. - I did!
- Are you sure they meant it, sir?Copy !req
422. Oh, quite sure! Baldrick,
how far apart were their legs?Copy !req
423. Oh, this far!Copy !req
424. - Yeah, and their nipples?
- That far!Copy !req
425. They meant it, alright!Copy !req
426. All right, sir,
I'll see what I can do.Copy !req
427. To torture him I lust,
let singe his hair,Copy !req
428. and up his nostrils
hot bananas thrust.Copy !req
429. Rehearsals going well, gentlemen?Copy !req
430. Begone!Copy !req
431. A mere butler with the intellectual
capacity of a squashed apricotCopy !req
432. can be Of no use to US.Copy !req
433. Indeed yes, sir.Copy !req
434. Your participation
is as irritatingCopy !req
435. as a potted cactus
in a monkey's pyjamas.Copy !req
436. Well, in that case,
I won't interrupt you any longer.Copy !req
437. Sorry to disturb, gentlemen.Copy !req
438. Oh, Blackadder,
thank God you're safe! What happened?Copy !req
439. Sir, there was no need to panic.
It was all perfectly straightforward.Copy !req
440. Well?Copy !req
441. They're traitors, sir.Copy !req
442. They must be arrested,
brutally tortured,Copy !req
443. and executed forthwith.Copy !req
444. Bravo!Copy !req
445. But, Your Highness,
there's been a terrible mistake!Copy !req
446. That's what they were
bound to say, sir.Copy !req
447. But it was a play, sir!
A play!Copy !req
448. Look, all the words you heard
written down on that paper!Copy !req
449. Textbook stuff again, you see.Copy !req
450. The criminal's vanity always makes 'em
make one tiny but fatal mistake.Copy !req
451. Theirs was to have
their entire conspiracyCopy !req
452. printed and published
in play manuscript form.Copy !req
453. Take them away!Copy !req
454. - We beg for mercy!
- Mercy, please sir!Copy !req
455. I've only got one thing
to say to you. Macbeth!Copy !req
456. Ahh! Hot potato, orchestra stalls,
pluck will make amends! Ow!Copy !req
457. Macbeth!Copy !req
458. Well done, Bladder!
How can I ever thank you?Copy !req
459. Well you can start by
not calling me Bladder, sir.Copy !req
460. Macbeth!Copy !req
461. Of course, Bladder. No sooner said
than done, and no hard feelings?Copy !req
462. Absolutely none, sir.
It's good to be back in the saddle.Copy !req
463. Did I say saddle?
I meant harness.Copy !req
464. Bravo! So we're the best of friends,
as ever we were!Copy !req
465. - Absolutely, sir.
- Hurrah!Copy !req
466. In fact, now that the evil Mossop
and Keanrick have got their comeuppance,Copy !req
467. the Drury Lane Theatre is free.Copy !req
468. I thought we might celebrate by staging
a little play that I've written.Copy !req
469. Oh, what an excellent idea!Copy !req
470. And with my newfound acting skills,Copy !req
471. might there be a part in it for me,
do you think?Copy !req
472. I was hoping that you might
play the title role, sir.Copy !req
473. What a roaringly good idea!
What's the play called?Copy !req
474. Thick jack Clot Sits in the Stocks
and Gets Pelted with Rancid Tomatoes.Copy !req
475. Excellent!Copy !req