1. Hey, what's going on?
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2. I found a note on my door,
"Come to Monica's.
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3. Bring champagne
and a Three Musketeers bar"?
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4. Yeah, I'll take that.
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5. What's up?
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6. - Monica and I are engaged.
- Oh, my God.
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7. Congratulations. Where is she?
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8. I'm engaged! I'm engaged!
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9. She's been there for 20 minutes.
You didn't hear?
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10. I thought it was a kid yelling, "I'm gay!"
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11. - Can I bring her in?
- Let her stay. It's sweet.
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12. I'm getting married! I'm gonna be a bride!
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13. Shut up.
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14. No, I will not shut up, because I'm engaged!
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15. Oh, big talk! Why don't you
come here and say that to me?
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16. My fiancé will kick your ass.
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17. Come on, apartment 20, apartment 20.
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18. You get her in, you bolt the door,
I'll be in the closet.
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19. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Okay, shh.
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20. Okay. Um.
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21. I just want to say that I love
you guys so, so much...
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22. and thank you for being here
on my special night.
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23. Our special night.
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24. It just wouldn't be my night... Our night...
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25. if you weren't here to celebrate
with me... Us. Damn it!
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26. It's okay, I want this to be your night too.
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27. To Monica.
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28. Come on, wait, stop it.
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29. - Okay, to Monica.
To Monica.
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30. Have you decided on a band for the
wedding, because I'm kind of musical.
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31. She got engaged a few hours ago,
I doubt she's had time to think...
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32. Speaking of chiming in,
remember burning my apartment?
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33. Yeah, you're on your own.
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34. We should get dressed up
and go have champagne at the Plaza.
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35. - Oh, okay!
Yeah.
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36. I can't stay too long.
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37. I gotta get up early for an audition.
I gotta look good.
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38. I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.
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39. What?
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40. So when you said get up early,
did you mean 1986?
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41. You guys don't think I look 19?
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42. Oh, 19! We thought you said 90.
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43. Oh.
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44. - Okay, everybody, let's go.
- Okay.
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45. Is my candy bar around here?
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46. No, you ate it all.
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47. I was afraid of that.
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48. You know what shoes would look great
with this ring?
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49. Diamond shoes.
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50. You're not getting dressed.
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51. Know what I mean?
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52. Yeah, but I don't think we have time.
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53. There's gonna be a wedding.
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54. You're gonna be the bride.
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55. Two hundred people are gonna be
looking at you in a clean, white dress.
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56. Let's do it.
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57. Chandler, it happens to lots of guys.
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58. You're tired, you had a lot of champagne.
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59. Don't worry about it.
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60. I'm not worried. I'm fascinated.
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61. You know? It's like biology.
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62. Which is funny, because in high school
I failed biology...
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63. and tonight biology failed me.
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64. Check it out. I could play this
while the guests are coming in, okay.
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65. First time I met Chandler
I thought he was gay
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66. But here I am singing
On his wedding day
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67. Phoebe, no.
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68. If you'd let me finish, it goes on
to say that he's probably not gay.
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69. You guys don't have this problem,
you're made of wood.
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70. - Hey, you look great.
- Hey.
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71. Oh, thanks.
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72. You okay over there?
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73. I don't know. You know? I feel a little...
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74. You know what? Never mind. I'll be fine.
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75. Don't worry about it. You're probably tired,
you had a lot of champagne.
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76. It happens to everybody.
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77. - Hey. Wow.
- Hi.
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78. - Happy Monica's Night.
- Well, thank you. You too.
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79. Can you believe
they are actually getting married?
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80. Well, sure, but I get married all the time.
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81. - You okay?
- Yeah, I guess.
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82. Do you think we'll ever have that?
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83. You mean "we," you and me?
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84. Oh, no, no, no.
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85. "We," you with someone, me with someone.
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86. Good, you scared me a minute.
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87. I know. Shake it off.
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88. It's just because you and I,
we were like a nightmare.
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89. - No, but there were some good times.
- Absolutely. Like there was...
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90. - Surely you can think of something.
- Just give me a minute.
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91. Oh, well, yes.
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92. - I can think of one good thing.
- What?
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93. You were always good at the...
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94. at the, uh, the stuff.
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95. Yeah, I...
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96. I was good at the stuff?
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97. Mm-hm. Yup.
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98. I really liked your hands.
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99. - My hands?
- Yeah.
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100. - Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
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101. Way to go, guys.
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102. You were really good at the stuff too.
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103. Oh, I know.
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104. Hey, you know what we never did?
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105. Oh, no, not that.
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106. We never had bonus night.
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107. - A what?
- You know, bonus night.
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108. Two people break up,
but they get back together for one night.
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109. One night, just sex?
No strings attached?
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110. Yeah, yeah, we never had that.
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111. - No.
- No.
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112. Okay, this is getting a little crazy.
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113. Um, I mean...
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114. I'm sure it would be amazing...
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115. but I really don't think
it would be a good idea.
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116. I really...
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117. really...
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118. don't.
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119. What's up?
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120. What's up, dude?
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121. Take whatever you want,
just don't hurt me.
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122. You playing a little PlayStation, huh?
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123. That's wack.
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124. PlayStation is wack.
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125. What's up with the wack PlayStation,
what's up?
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126. Huh?
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127. Come on, am I 19 or what?
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128. Yes, on a scale of one to 10,
10 being the dumbest a person can look...
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129. you are definitely 19.
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130. Come on, really. How old?
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131. Young. You're a man-child, okay?
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132. Now get changed, everybody's ready.
And please, please, keep my underwear.
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133. - Oh, thanks.
- Okay.
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134. - Joe.
- Yeah.
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135. Uh.
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136. You've had a lot of sex, right?
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137. When, today?
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138. Some, not a lot.
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139. The reason I'm asking
is because I had kind of a, uh...
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140. I was unable to...
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141. I really wanted to, but I couldn't...
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142. There, ha, hm.
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143. There was an incident.
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144. Don't worry about that, man. That happens.
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145. - It's happened to you?
- Yeah, once.
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146. - Well, what'd you do?
- I did it anyway.
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147. Phoebe, come on, let's go.
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148. Come on.
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149. Why aren't you dressed yet?
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150. I wrote the best song for your wedding.
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151. - Check this out.
- Phoeb.
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152. If you get ready now, you can play.
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153. - Really?
- Yes.
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154. That's so exciting! Thanks, Mon.
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155. But if you touch my guitar again,
I'll have to pound on you a little bit.
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156. Fair enough. Get ready. I'll get everybody.
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157. Finally we can start celebrating my...
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158. I'm sorry, apparently I opened
the door to the past.
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159. Okay, Monica, Mon.
Okay, what you just saw...
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160. Can I ask you just a little question?
Why tonight?
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161. - What?
- I waited my whole life to be engaged.
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162. And unlike some,
I only plan on doing this once.
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163. Maybe it's selfish, I'm sorry, but I hoped
tonight could just be about that.
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164. - Oh, honey, but it is.
- No, it's not.
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165. Now it's about you getting back together.
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166. See, you kind of stole my thunder.
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167. We did not steal your thunder.
We are not getting back together.
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168. - Yeah, no, and nobody even saw.
- Yeah.
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169. That's true.
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170. - We just kissed.
It was just a kiss.
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171. You guys kissed?
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172. What does this mean?
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173. Are you back together?
Can I sing at your wedding?
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174. Thunder being stolen.
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175. - Phoebe, it's nothing.
- Let's not make a big deal of this.
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176. It was a one-time thing.
It doesn't even matter.
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177. Oh, my God.
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178. I cannot believe you guys
are talking about this.
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179. Problems in the bedroom
are between a man and woman.
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180. All right? Now, Chandler
is doing the best he can.
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181. I don't think that's
what they were talking about.
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182. What a great night.
Chandler can't do it, they kissed.
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183. - What?
- You guys kissed? This is huge.
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184. No, it's not huge.
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185. People thinking it's huge
has led Monica to believe...
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186. we're stealing her thunder,
which we aren't.
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187. We're still talking about it.
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188. That, and Chandler's problem.
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189. Monica, listen, listen.
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190. Would you feel better if we stopped
talking about Ross and Rachel?
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191. - That would be lovely.
- You got it.
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192. Now, I can pass for 19, right?
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193. Yes, you can pass for 19.
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194. - Really?
- Yes.
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195. - Seriously?
- Seriously?
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196. Seriously, no. Okay? You can play
your own age, which is 31.
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197. I'm 30!
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198. Joey, you are not. You're 31.
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199. Oh, crap!
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200. So, the Plaza. We'll get some mai tais?
Maybe no more for you though.
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201. You know, I think I don't feel like
going to the Plaza.
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202. Why?
This is ridiculous.
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203. I don't want to talk about it.
I don't. Especially with you.
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204. Pssh. That is wack.
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205. Yeah?
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206. I'll play it at the wedding.
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207. Yeah, well, we'll see if they
actually let you play, huh?
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208. They tell you anything you want to hear...
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209. like, "You look 19."
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210. Then they just take it away,
like, "No, you don't."
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211. Monica won't take this away.
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212. - Wouldn't she?
- Would she?
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213. Would she?
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214. You ate my candy bar!
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215. Guess who.
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216. Hey.
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217. Hey, I just realized we kind of left
some stuff up in the air.
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218. What did Monica mean:
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219. "I don't want to talk,"
especially with me?
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220. Why not especially you and me?
We were both kissing.
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221. Still thinking about it?
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222. I'm serious. What did she mean by that?
"Especially you."
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223. - Oh, who cares?
- I care.
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224. And so do I.
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225. I have to talk to her.
Will you let me get changed?
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226. Okay, sure.
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227. Am I going to let you watch me?
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228. No.
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229. I can't believe her. It's just so typical.
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230. I know you're upset, but don't forget
there is going to be a wedding.
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231. You are going to throw the bouquet,
and then a honeymoon.
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232. - Maybe in Paris.
- Paris?
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233. We will take a moonlit walk
on the Rue de la blah-blah-blah.
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234. Keep talking.
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235. We will sprinkle rose petals
on the bed and make love...
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236. not just because it's romantic,
but because I can.
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237. I love you.
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238. Mmm.
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239. Bonjour, monsieur.
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240. Don't say anything,
you might scare it away.
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241. It's Paris. Who knows we're here?
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242. Hi, Pheebs. What's up?
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243. You said I could sing at your wedding,
so I need a small deposit.
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244. - What?
- Good-faith money to hold the date.
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245. We're not giving you a deposit
for our wedding.
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246. Oh, I see.
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247. They break your heart, don't they?
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248. You know, I don't really need
their permission.
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249. You want to sing at their wedding,
sing at their wedding.
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250. Yeah, and if you want to look 19, then you...
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251. You got to do something about your eyes.
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252. What's wrong with my eyes?
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253. They give you away.
There's too much wisdom in there.
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254. Put some tea bags on them for 15 minutes.
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255. - That'll get rid of my wisdom?
- Maybe 10 minutes for you.
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256. Give her the deposit,
give her the ring. I don't care.
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257. - Yes?
- What did you mean when you said...
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258. you didn't want to talk to anyone,
especially me?
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259. What a great apology.
And you accept it. Bye-bye.
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260. No, seriously, what was
the "especially me" part about?
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261. Let's just say it's not the first time
you've stolen my thunder.
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262. Wha?
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263. Hey, here's a thought...
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264. Monica, what are you talking about?
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265. My sweet 16. You went to third base
with my cousin Charlie.
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266. Ah, third base.
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267. It was all everybody could talk about.
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268. The only reason I did that
was because your party was so boring.
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269. - We had a caricaturist.
- Oh.
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270. Whenever I get married
Guess who won't be asked to sing
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271. Somebody named Geller
And somebody else named Bing
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272. Monica, your sweet 16
was like a million years ago.
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273. Yet here you are doing it again.
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274. Oh, I don't want to steal your stupid thunder.
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275. Why else would you have
made out with Ross?
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276. Got me.
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277. Easy, mimey, the moment has passed.
It ain't gonna happen.
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278. It'd be nice if I could have this night.
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279. I never wanted any part of your night.
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280. No one was supposed to see us.
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281. Is that why you did it in the secret hallway,
where nobody ever goes?
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282. Uh, Rachel, I've been thinking.
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283. I don't think us getting together
tonight is such a good idea.
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284. I'm calling it off.
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285. Way to save your dignity, my man.
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286. Mon, why, why would I ever want
to take away from your night?
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287. I don't know, maybe you feel
a little resentful.
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288. Maybe you thought you'd get married first.
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289. Maybe you can't stand...
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290. that your formerly fat friend
is getting married first.
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291. Oh, wow, that... You know what?
That is so unfair.
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292. Now I want to steal your thunder.
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293. Come on, Ross. Let's go have sex!
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294. I can't believe you're gonna have sex
on my engagement night.
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295. Well, somebody should.
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296. Look, if we're gonna do this...
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297. We're not. She's just gonna think we are.
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298. I see, so everybody wins.
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299. - Who is it?
It's Monica, open up.
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300. Okay, Ross, stop it. Please, wait a minute.
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301. Ow!
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302. Yeah, you like that, baby?
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303. May we help you?
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304. I wanted to say I hope you have sex,
and I hope you get back together.
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305. I warn you, the night
you announce your engagement...
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306. I'm going to announce
that I'm pregnant.
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307. How is that ever going to happen?
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308. Do you want to know why
I was with Ross tonight?
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309. - I know why.
- You don't.
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310. - Okay, why?
- Because I was sad.
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311. What do you mean?
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312. Look, I am so...
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313. so happy for you guys.
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314. But you getting married reminds me
of the fact that I'm not.
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315. I'm not even close.
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316. Maybe I just wanted
to make myself feel better.
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317. I know that that's dumb,
but you were so depressed...
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318. when Ross got married,
you slept with Chandler.
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319. I don't care, she slept with me.
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320. Anyway, sweetie,
I am so sorry I ruined your night.
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321. I'm sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross.
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322. I'm gonna take off.
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323. - Congratulations, man.
- Thanks.
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324. - And Rachel.
- Yeah.
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325. What can I say?
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326. You missed your chance.
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327. From now on, the only person who's
going to enjoy these bad boys is me.
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328. We thought Phoebe would leave
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329. But she just stayed and stayed
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330. That's right, I'm here all night
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331. And Chandler will never get...
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332. Hey, here's a dollar.
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333. Consider it a deposit.
Please sing at our wedding.
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334. - Oh, thank you.
- Okay.
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335. Now who will perform the ceremony?
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336. Who will perform the cer...?
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337. Oh, oh.
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338. I'll pound on him in the morning.
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