1. Ross, when's this comet thing start?
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2. Well, technically, it started
7 billion years ago.
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3. No, no.
Oh, God.
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4. Okay. Fine, I'll stop.
No teaching, okay?
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5. We'll just watch the pretty light
streaking across the sky.
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6. - Okay?
Okay.
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7. Whose official name is Bapstein-King.
Okay! Okay!
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8. There it is. Oh, look at that!
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9. Isn't Mother Nature amazing?
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10. That's a plane.
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11. Well, all right, 1700 bags
of peanuts flying that high...
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12. that's pretty amazing too.
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13. - I wonder if you can see my apartment.
- No, you can't.
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14. - What?
- I don't know.
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15. Man, look at all those stars.
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16. Infinite space. It really makes you
wonder, doesn't it?
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17. - Know what else makes you wonder?
- Huh?
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18. Check out the rack on that chick.
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19. We've been out here for two hours...
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20. and we haven't seen any
stupid comets. Can we go now?
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21. I mean, Chandler's getting chilly.
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22. No, I'm not.
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23. Then why are you wearing
Monica's jacket?
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24. Because it's flattering!
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25. Come on, Monica. Come on, Monica.
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26. - We're taking off too. We rented a movie.
- Oh, I won't say no to a movie.
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27. Oh, Pheebs, we just actually
wanted to be alone.
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28. - Shh. Get me out of here.
Oh, okay.
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29. - Hey, Ross.
- What?
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30. - Check this out.
- Is it the comet?
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31. No. Look, there's a bug
stuck in tar right here.
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32. I can't believe...
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33. I bring you to see
the Bapstein-King comet...
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34. one of nature's
most spectacular phenomena...
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35. and all you care about are bugs
stuck in tar and some woman.
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36. You know, there's two women, dude.
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37. Show me where.
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38. Right... Right up here.
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39. Joey, where's the pipe
that was holding the door open?
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40. I don't know.
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41. Yeah, I do.
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42. - Joey!
- What? Hey, don't look at me!
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43. You wanted to come up here and look
for some stupid Burger King comet.
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44. It's called the
Bapstein-King comet, okay?
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45. Hey, Bapstein was a very
well-respected astronomer from...
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46. No! No!
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47. No!
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48. - Monica.
- She's sleeping.
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49. I know. Just a quick question.
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50. Which one was Deep Impact
and which one was Armageddon?
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51. Deep Impact was the one
with Robert Duvall.
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52. Armageddon is what's going
to happen to you if you wake me up.
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53. Sorry, I just can't sleep.
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54. Ooh!
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55. Where's that book you're reading
with two women who are ice-skating...
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56. and wearing those hats
with the flowers on it.
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57. Because every time I look
at that cover, I'm like:
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58. It's in the living room,
where there's also a light...
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59. and no one will
kick you in the shin.
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60. What?
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61. Ow!
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62. Please don't be a spaceship.
Please don't be a spaceship.
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63. Oh, thank God.
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64. Hm.
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65. How could you be beeping?
I just disconnected you!
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66. I took out your battery! How can...?
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67. Don't interrupt me!
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68. Monica! Monica!
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69. Come on!
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70. I can't believe this!
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71. All right, well, I guess we know
what we have to do to get down.
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72. Yeah, I guess we don't have a choice.
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73. Help us! Please, help us!
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74. We're stuck up on the roof,
and we can't get down!
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75. Ross.
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76. I was thinking we'd just
go down the fire escape.
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77. I know. I wasn't finished.
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78. But don't worry!
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79. We're gonna go down the fire escape!
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80. Shh-shh-shh!
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81. I'm sorry, I thought I'd make some
warm milk and it would help me sleep.
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82. With a wok?
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83. I thought my boring book was gonna
put you to sleep.
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84. It got interesting.
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85. Damn you, Oprah!
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86. Here, let me make the milk.
I'm up anyway.
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87. You know what we could do
now that we're up?
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88. We could just talk
to each other all night long.
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89. Like when we were first going out.
It'd be fun.
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90. - Okay, that does sound fun.
- Yeah.
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91. So how bummed were you
when the second sister died, huh?
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92. The second sister dies?
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93. No.
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94. No, I was talking
about the book I was reading.
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95. The second sister dies in
Archie and Jughead Double Digest?
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96. That's correct.
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97. Want to go in the bedroom?
It's more comfortable.
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98. - Sure.
- Okay.
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99. Oh, wait, did you send
those contracts to Milan?
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100. - If this is your idea of sexy talk...
- No.
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101. Seriously. Did you overnight
the contracts I gave you?
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102. What contracts?
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103. Please tell me this is just one
of your jokes that I don't get. Heh, heh.
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104. Like what?
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105. Like the thing when you
put the phone in your pants?
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106. Tag, I'm serious.
This isn't funny.
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107. Those contracts had to go out today.
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108. You didn't give me any contracts.
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109. Yes, I did. I put a little
Post-it on it that said:
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110. "Must go out today," and I
underlined "today" three times.
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111. Then I put a little heart in the corner
because I didn't wanna seem too bossy.
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112. You never gave them to me.
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113. If we went to the office, you would see
those contracts sitting on your desk.
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114. No, I'd see you looking embarrassed
because they are not on my desk.
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115. Maybe I'm embarrassed because you
talk on the phone with your crotch.
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116. - You want to go to the office now?
- No.
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117. Come on, it's late.
We're not going down to the office.
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118. Yeah, I understand. I wouldn't
want to be proved wrong either.
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119. All right, get your coat!
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120. Oh! When did you unhook this?
Nice work!
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121. It won't go down any further.
It's stuck.
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122. We'll just have to jump.
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123. Yep. Now, we're gonna have
to make sure to land...
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124. to the right of that
patch of ice, okay?
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125. Not hit the dumpster
on the other side.
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126. And try to avoid that weird
brownish-red stuff in the middle.
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127. So when you get down there...
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128. you go up to the roof
and you let me in.
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129. - Whoa. Wait a minute. I have to do it?
- Yeah. You'll be fine.
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130. It'll be just like
bungee jumping, you know?
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131. But instead of bouncing back up,
you won't.
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132. Well, what if I smack
my head on the concrete?
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133. Well, I'm not gonna lie to you, Joey.
It's a possibility.
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134. I don't know. Tell you what,
let's flip to see who does it.
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135. - You call it in the air, all right?
- Oh, all right. Tail. Oh!
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136. - Can you see what it is?
- No.
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137. - Okay. Well, you be careful.
- No. No, Ross, stop.
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138. I'm not jumping.
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139. Look, I have an audition tomorrow,
and I can't go if I break my leg.
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140. Well, I'm not jumping. I have a son.
He won't have a father if I die.
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141. So it looks like we're even.
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142. Okay, so this wire...
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143. is connected to this wire,
which plugs into here.
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144. Okay, so to get the beeping to stop,
all I have to do...
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145. Okay.
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146. Well done, Pheebs.
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147. What do you want from me?
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148. Here's your milk.
What should we talk about?
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149. What? What? What?
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150. Oh, were you sleeping, sweetie?
I'm sorry. Here.
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151. Okay. Feel free to look...
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152. but I'm telling you
those contracts are not on this desk.
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153. How could you know?
Look at this mess, Tag.
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154. This is what I'm talking about.
You have to be more organized.
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155. You've got newspapers,
you've got magazines, you... Oh!
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156. And who's this chippy?
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157. A little young for you, but whatever.
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158. That's my sister.
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159. Really? Very cute braces.
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160. Anyway, you know what?
The point is, Tag, start looking...
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161. because you're gonna find
those contracts on your desk.
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162. So when do you imagine you gave
them to me? Morning or afternoon?
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163. In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner
came into my office after lunch...
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164. he put them on my desk,
and then I put a Post-it on it...
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165. that said:
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166. "Must go out today."
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167. So you just keep looking
in there, all right?
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168. Not here.
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169. Puzzler.
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170. Bit of a puzzle.
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171. Why don't you check the copy room?
Maybe the contracts are in there.
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172. - How could I have left them in the copy room?
- I don't know.
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173. How can your genitals
make phone calls?
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174. Okay? It's not a perfect world.
Just go, please?
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175. - Fine.
- Thank you.
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176. Hello?
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177. I still don't get it.
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178. You still awake?
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179. Yeah. You?
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180. You do know that was me
that just said that, right?
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181. Hey.
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182. As long as we're both up...
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183. Yeah?
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184. I hope you're not thinking
about cleaning the living room.
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185. Man, I'm starving. What the hell
was I thinking at dinner?
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186. "Do you want soup or salad?"
Both, always order both.
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187. You know, I'm looking,
and I don't think anyone's home here.
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188. I say we just break the window...
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189. crawl through...
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190. and you know, explain later.
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191. - No one's home?
- I don't think so.
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192. Hello?
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193. So when you get in there...
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194. Okay. This is where
you and I part ways.
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195. Noisy bitch!
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196. Oh, what? What are you doing?
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197. Do you know what just happened?
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198. Yeah. We had sex
and then we fell asleep.
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199. No. We were in the middle of sex...
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200. and you fell asleep.
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201. No. No, that's not true.
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202. No, best time ever.
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203. Yeah. You rock my world.
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204. - Monica?
- What?
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205. I was giving you some of
my best moves, and you missed it.
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206. So please wake up
so we can do it right.
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207. Okay. Okay. I'm ready.
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208. - Come on, big fella.
- Okay.
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209. - Give me the good stuff.
- Yeah.
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210. No, no, no. Don't fall asleep.
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211. Okay, I'm going
to make you some coffee.
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212. Well, I probably won't spill coffee
grounds all over the kitchen floor.
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213. Okay, I'm up. I'm up.
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214. Hi. I got you some coffee to...
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215. So you got anything for me?
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216. - Still no luck.
- Oh, my God.
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217. You checked your entire desk
and all the drawers?
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218. - Want me to check again?
- I wish you would.
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219. Well, no, it's not in there.
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220. How about that drawer?
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221. Well, it's not out here.
Any chance it could be in your office?
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222. I don't know.
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223. I mean, let me check.
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224. Any luck?
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225. Can I see you in my office for a minute?
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226. Yeah.
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227. You found them!
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228. I'm not even gonna gloat.
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229. - I'm just really relieved it's...
- You put these on my desk.
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230. - I did not.
- Oh, really?
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231. So they slid out of your bottom drawer...
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232. crawled across the floor,
then jumped onto my desk?
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233. How did you know
they were in my bottom drawer?
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234. I am so hot for you right now.
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235. Oh, my God!
How did you get back here?
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236. Phoebe Buffay?
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237. Fire Alarm?
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238. Oh, hi, Officer Fireman.
Can I help you?
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239. Your fire alarm was in the trash.
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240. - That's not mine.
- Yes, it is.
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241. How do you know?
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242. If you dump a fire alarm,
don't use a blanket that says:
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243. "Property of Phoebe Buffay,
not Monica."
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244. Do you have a search warrant?
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245. Because the last time I checked,
this was still America.
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246. Please reattach it.
It's against the law to disconnect them.
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247. Fine. But please, God, tell me
how to stop it from going off?
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248. Press the reset button.
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249. There's a reset button?
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
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250. Oh. There's a reset button?
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251. My God!
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252. Why didn't I see that?
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253. Reset button. Reset button.
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254. Where is there a reset button?
Oh, here it is! Oh!
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255. God!
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256. - Okay, you have a good grip?
- Yeah.
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257. Okay, I'm gonna start
to climb down you now.
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258. - All right, just hurry up.
- Okay.
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259. Now, should I climb down your front
so we're face to face...
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260. or should I climb down
your back so we're...
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261. butt to face?
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262. - Face to face.
- I like face to face.
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263. - Okay, here I come.
- All right.
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264. Oh, my... How much do you weigh, Ross?
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265. I prefer not to answer that right now.
I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
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266. When we talked about face to face...
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267. I don't think we thought it
all the way through.
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268. - What do you want me to do?
- Just shimmy down me and drop.
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269. - Hi.
- Hi.
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270. You know, maybe I should hang,
and you should climb down me.
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271. Yeah? Maybe we should talk
about that for a little while!
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272. - It still looks pretty far.
- It's not that far. Just drop.
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273. Do not rush me!
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274. Ross, my pants are starting to come down,
and I'm not wearing any underwear.
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275. Whoa!
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276. Ow! My ankle!
I really hurt my ankle!
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277. I think I twisted it when...
Ooh, a quarter!
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278. That really was
some of your best work.
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279. I told you.
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280. I can't believe it.
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281. I've only got two hours
until I call in sick for work.
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282. I have to be up in seven minutes.
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283. Well, you're not gonna believe this,
but if you have seven minutes...
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284. Really?
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285. You want to?
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286. Okay. You get the vacuum cleaner.
I'll get the furniture polish.
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