1. The caterer sent me this list of 12
appetizers. I have to narrow it to six.
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2. Food? Oh, give me.
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3. So did Monica tell you we're trying to get
The Swing Kings to play the wedding?
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4. Since when are you into swing music?
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5. Since forever. I used to go all over town
listening to bands.
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6. - Chandler.
- Gap commercial.
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7. - So did you book them? Did you call?
- I will.
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8. - You want me to call?
- No. I'll do it. You stick to your job.
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9. - What is your job?
- Staying out of the way.
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10. This is impossible.
Why don't you just pick all 15?
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11. - There were only 12.
- Oh, yeah, I added three.
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12. What are "peanut-butter fingers"?
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13. Well, hello.
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14. She's cute.
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15. Should we go try to talk to her?
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16. Sure. The great thing about being engaged,
I'm not nervous to talk to pretty girls anymore.
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17. Could you guys help me?
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18. Yeah, let me get that for you.
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19. - It's really heavy.
- I got it.
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20. Oh!
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21. So hi, I'm Ross,
and this is my friend, Chandler.
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22. I'm Kristen.
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23. Kristen. Hi. Are you new to the area?
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24. Because if you are,
I'd love to show you around sometime.
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25. - I actually just moved from four blocks over.
- Oh.
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26. But this block is like a whole other world.
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27. Actually, it does have
a very interesting history.
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28. This street is the first street in the city
to have an underground sewer system.
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29. Before that, sewage and waste...
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30. would just flow
right down the street. Yeah.
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31. Sometimes ankle-deep.
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32. Smooth.
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33. Excuse me?
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34. You're gonna be starving after moving.
What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
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35. - I'd like that.
- Yeah? Great.
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36. Let me take this up.
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37. - After you.
- Oh, no. After you.
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38. Oh, my God!
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39. Am I crazy, or does this totally go?
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40. Oh, my God! You look so beautiful!
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41. Thank you, Rachel.
But look at Monica!
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42. This is it. Yeah, this is the one.
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43. I can't believe I found it.
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44. Wow, you look so beautiful.
If I knew you, I'd cry.
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45. I'm Monica Geller. Ball like a baby.
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46. I'm Megan Bailey.
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47. - Have you found your dress yet?
- No. These dresses are all so amazing...
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48. but I couldn't afford one.
- No, I can't afford this either.
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49. I'm here to figure out the one I want,
then I'll get it at Kleinman's, this discount place.
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50. Day after tomorrow,
they're having a huge sale.
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51. - Thanks for the tip.
- When are you getting married?
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52. - I'm not. I just like to try these on.
- I do the same thing.
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53. I'm just kidding.
I'm getting married July 25th.
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54. I'm just kidding too. Ha, ha.
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55. I'm getting married in December.
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56. - When are you getting married?
- May 15th.
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57. Ooh. It's close.
So who's your photographer?
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58. - Jeffrey.
- We met with him.
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59. - Did he show you nude wedding photos?
- Best Man? Wow!
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60. I know. I almost called off
my wedding. Heh, heh, heh.
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61. - Oh, who's your band?
- My fiancé wants The Swing Kings.
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62. You're lucky. My fiancé wants
the heavy metal band, Carcass.
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63. Is that spelled with a "C" or a "K"?
Oh, my God, it doesn't matter, they're both great!
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64. Oh, you know what? Don't buy that here.
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65. Now that you know what you want,
go to Kleinman's. Get it half off.
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66. This place is so over-priced.
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67. I own this store.
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68. So does this come
in another color, or...
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69. Hi. You moving in or moving out?
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70. - Moving in.
- Can I give you a hand?
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71. Okay, but be careful. The guy who was helping
before had to leave because he hurt his back.
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72. - Boyfriend?
- No.
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73. I'm Joey.
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74. Kristen.
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75. Wow. What a beautiful name.
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76. What is it again?
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77. - Kristen.
- Ah, that's it. Okay.
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78. - You live around here?
- Yeah. Yeah, right down there.
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79. Let me give you a tip.
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80. Don't take a nap on this stoop.
You could wake up without shoes.
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81. - I'll remember that.
- Okay.
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82. Listen, would you like
to have dinner with me tonight?
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83. I have plans tonight.
How about tomorrow?
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84. Sounds great.
Well, where does this go?
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85. You look strong. I'll take that,
you grab one of the boxes.
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86. Okay. Yeah.
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87. Yeah, I'll get this one.
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88. What's taking so long?
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89. WOMAN 2
Come on.
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90. So this is Brooklyn?
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91. All right, listen up. There's usually only
one dress in each size.
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92. So when they open those doors,
fan out.
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93. This is what you're looking for.
Memorize it.
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94. When you locate the dress
blow on these, all right?
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95. Three sharp blasts.
When you hear it, come running.
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96. Okay, got it.
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97. Here he comes!
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98. Oh, they're pushing!
- Don't be a baby!
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99. Out of the way!
Let's go!
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100. Hey, Rachel! Come on!
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101. No. No, not it. Not it. Not it. Ugh.
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102. Don't crowd me.
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103. This is it! This is the dress!
Oh, my God. It's perfect.
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104. I'm sorry, this one's taken! Whoa!
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105. - Megan!
- Monica!
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106. - You came!
- Yeah!
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107. - This is my dress!
- No!
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108. - Yes, it is. You saw me wearing it.
- And now you'll see me buying it.
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109. You freak!
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110. You wouldn't even know
about this place without me.
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111. - Look, you don't want to fight me.
- Maybe I do. I'm pretty feisty!
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112. - I'm coming! I'm coming!
- Hey!
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113. Okay! Hey.
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114. Oh, what do I do?
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115. What are you doing?
Did you find the dress?
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116. Did you find the dress?
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117. No. You gotta get me out of here.
These shoppers are crazy.
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118. - We've gotta get Monica.
- You gotta hold my hand!
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119. Oh, my God.
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120. Excuse me! Excuse me!
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121. Go! Go! Go!
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122. - Hey.
- Go!
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123. So, Ross,
how was your date the other night?
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124. Did you tell her about the magical
ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
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125. Laugh all you want, but she left me a message
saying she'd like to go out again.
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126. - Oh.
- In fact, I'll go call her right now.
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127. And I'll make sure and tell her my
friend Chandler says...
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128. - Hey, Chandler.
- Hey.
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129. Sorry I didn't stop by last night,
but I had a date.
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130. Joe, when it's 1:00 in the morning and you
don't come by? That's okay.
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131. Check it out. It was with this really hot girl
who just moved in right across the street.
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132. - Really? Right across the street?
- Yeah.
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133. - When did you meet her?
- Two days ago.
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134. Excellent!
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135. - You know, Ross met somebody too.
- Oh, yeah?
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136. - Hey.
- How'd it go?
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137. Great. We're going out again Saturday.
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138. But I found out she's
also seeing some other guy.
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139. Really?
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140. Joe, what would you do
if you were in Ross' situation?
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141. Well, I sort of am. I'm dating this girl
who's also seeing another guy.
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142. But I'm not too worried about it.
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143. You shouldn't be. Believe me, I wouldn't want
to be the guy who's up against you.
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144. I mean, that doofus is going to lose.
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145. So this is nice.
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146. I wish I didn't have to go.
Believe me.
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147. But I have to.
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148. By the way, what's the name
of the girl you're dating?
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149. Kristen Leigh.
- Bye.
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150. Well, obviously, only one of us
can keep dating her.
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151. Obviously. So how do we decide?
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152. Well now,
let's look at this objectively.
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153. I think I should date her.
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154. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
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155. Or I'm the one who dates her.
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156. That's interesting.
But check this out. I date her.
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157. Yeah, I like that. But just to go
in another direction...
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158. Okay. This can go on for a while.
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159. - We should order some food then.
- No, Joey.
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160. Look, why don't we
just let her decide, okay?
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161. We'll each go out with her
one more time.
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162. And we'll see who she likes best.
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163. That sounds fair.
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164. Maybe I'll take her
to that new French restaurant down the street.
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165. Wait a second.
We have to set a spending limit on the date.
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166. I don't have the money to take her
to a fancy place like that.
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167. Well, sorry.
That's what I do on dates.
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168. All right. Well, I guess I'll just have to do
what I do on dates.
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169. - So let's decide on a spending limit.
- Yeah.
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170. Uh...
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171. And a slice...
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172. Six dollars?
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173. - I was thinking more like a hundred.
- Okay.
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174. Can I borrow 94 dollars?
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175. Uh.
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176. I know. Can you hand me a tissue?
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177. You're out of Diet Coke.
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178. Hello?
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179. What? You what?
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180. You listen here, missy!
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181. What?
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182. That was Megan. She booked The Swing Kings
on the day of our wedding...
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183. and said she'd only
give them back for the dress!
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184. Does that mean Carcass is available?
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185. What am I gonna do? That's the dress!
That is "the" dress!
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186. Chandler wants the band.
What do I do?
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187. - Figure out a way to talk him out of it.
- How?
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188. You're out of toilet paper!
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189. - Hey.
- What's up?
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190. I wanted to wish you good luck
on your date.
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191. - Thanks.
- What time are you meeting?
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192. We have 8:00 reservations
at Grand Merci Bistro.
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193. That's in 20 minutes.
You'd better get dressed.
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194. - I am dressed.
- Oh, well, good.
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195. For me.
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196. What's this?
Did you give yourself a facial?
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197. I have an oily T-zone.
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198. Okay, dude.
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199. - Hey, you sent Kristen flowers?
- That's right.
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200. You spent 100 dollars.
That's the limit. You're screwed!
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201. Actually, I sent the flowers before
the actual date, so technically...
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202. technically, I didn't break any rules.
Thanks for stopping by though.
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203. That's how it's gonna be?
I can break the rules too.
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204. - What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
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205. - I'm not surprised.
- You won't get away with this.
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206. - You don't have much choice.
- We'll see!
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207. - Bye-bye.
- Yeah, bye-bye.
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208. Hey! So just a light layer?
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209. Yeah, just here and there.
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210. Joey got meat sauce
on the banister again.
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211. Swing music is so out.
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212. Phoebe, he's gotta be in the room
for that to work.
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213. What are you guys talking about?
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214. We're talking about The Swing Kings...
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215. and whether they're
the right way to go.
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216. I went to a wedding
where they had swing music...
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217. and two months later
the couple divorced.
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218. I'm not saying
there's any connection here...
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219. but they did tell me
that's why they got divorced.
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220. But I love swing music!
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221. But The Swing Kings?
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222. They suck so much that people actually die
at their concerts. They just stop living.
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223. When Monica and I went to see them,
we had fun.
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224. And there's another reason.
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225. - Well, what is the other reason?
- I don't want to say.
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226. Well, you have to,
because maybe it's stupid.
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227. It's just while Monica and I
were dancing to them...
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228. it was the first time
I knew that...
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229. you were the woman that I wanted
to dance all my dances with.
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230. Oh, crap.
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231. - Our table will be ready in just a few minutes.
- Oh, great.
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232. - Is your back feeling better?
- Yeah, it's fine.
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233. I guess, ahem, the more muscles you have...
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234. the more they can
spasm out of control.
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235. - Kristen?
- Joey!
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236. Hi.
Hi.
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237. - What are you doing here?
- I like this place.
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238. And technically, technically,
I'm not breaking any rules, so...
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239. Well, Ross, this is Joey.
Joey, Ross.
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240. - Hi.
- Hi. It's nice to meet you.
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241. I used to have a friend named Joey.
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242. I don't anymore.
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243. Our table will be ready
in a couple minutes.
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244. Sure! I would love
to wait with you guys! Thanks!
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245. So Joey, you look familiar.
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246. Are you on TV or something?
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247. Joey doesn't like to talk about it...
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248. but he's one of the stars
of Days of Our Lives.
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249. That's right. That's right.
Don't you play a woman?
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250. A woman in a man's body.
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251. Much better.
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252. So, Ross, it's funny, because you
look familiar to me too.
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253. Have you ever been married?
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254. Yes, I have.
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255. In fact, just the other day...
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256. Kris and I talked about how
I've been married and have a son.
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257. - Yeah, little Eric.
- That's right. Wait. No, Ben.
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258. So you've just been married
the one time then?
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259. - Well, um...
- You've been married twice?
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260. Yes. And...
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261. another time after that.
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262. Boy, I'm getting hungry.
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263. Ahem. Hey, Joey, have you ever been
so hungry on a date...
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264. that when the girl goes to the
bathroom, you eat some of her food?
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265. You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
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266. So, Ross, now why did
that first marriage break up? Hm?
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267. Was it because the woman was straight
or because she was a lesbian?
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268. - Do you two know each other?
No.
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269. But he seems like
a guy who'd marry a woman...
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270. on the verge of being a lesbian
and then push her over the edge.
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271. Wait a minute!
Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?
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272. Have you ever slept
in the same bed with a monkey?
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273. Hey, you leave Marcel out of this!
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274. Fine! You ever gotten stuck
in a pair of your own leather pants?
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275. Hey, hey! Have you ever locked yourself
in a TV cabinet, VD-boy?
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276. Monkey-lover!
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277. Where do you think we lost her?
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278. Probably around "gonorrhea."
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279. - Hi, honey, I'm home!
Don't come in here!
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280. Why, do you have another
boyfriend in there?
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281. No. We only mess around at his place.
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282. It's funny, I started it, but now it's scaring me,
so could you come out here, please?
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283. No. I'm wearing a wedding dress.
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284. You got a wedding dress? That's great.
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285. Yeah, but I'm not keeping it.
- Then why can't I see it?
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286. Oh. I guess you can.
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287. But I have to return it,
so you can't like it.
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288. Okay, I promise. I'll hate it.
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289. Wow. You look hideous.
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290. Really?
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291. Yeah. That's like the most
ugliest dress I've ever seen.
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292. Why do you have to return it?
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293. Because it doesn't really fit.
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294. Oh, by the way, I booked The Swing Kings.
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295. Oh, that's great. Great. Thanks.
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296. But that dress, I mean, it's like, ugh, terrible.
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297. - It makes me want to rip it right off you.
- Okay.
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298. But you can't rip it.
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299. - Well, maybe a little.
- Okay.
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300. Hey, guys, you want to look
at the song list for the wedding?
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301. Guys?
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302. I thought you'd be gone all day.
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303. All right, what's going on?
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304. I'm sorry. I should probably
leave you girls alone.
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305. Laugh all you want, but in 10 minutes
we'll have younger-looking skin.
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306. - Yeah.
- Right there.
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307. You know, she could use a little...
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308. - Oh, nice shot! Yeah!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
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