1. - Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving.
Shh.
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2. What, are we keeping Thanksgiving
a secret this year?
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3. No, we're playing this game
I learned at work.
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4. You have to name all the states
in six minutes.
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5. What? That's, like, insanely easy.
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6. No, it's harder than it sounds.
You always forget at least one.
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7. Or in some cases, 14.
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8. It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing
against other people...
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9. so technically, I didn't lose.
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10. You forgot 14 states?
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11. Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
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12. Oh, okay, time's up.
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13. All right, I got 48.
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14. Oh, that's not bad. Pheebs?
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15. Oh, I got tired of naming states,
so I decided to list the types of celery.
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16. And I have one, regular celery.
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17. Okay, so Rachel's got 48
and Phoebe has the lead in...
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18. vegetables. Joey?
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19. Say hello to the new champ
of Chandler's dumb states game.
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20. - Wow, how many you got?
- Fifty-six.
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21. Hey, how is New England not a state?
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22. Huh? They have a sports team.
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23. Does South Oregon have a sports team?
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24. There you go.
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25. How come we have
one extra place setting?
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26. - Because you invited your assistant.
- Oh, right, sorry. Tag's not coming.
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27. His girlfriend came into town,
so he's spending Thanksgiving with her.
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28. Oh, why didn't you tell me?
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29. I made him his own individual
sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
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30. Oh, well, I was going to,
but then I figured, you know...
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31. your food is so delicious
and perfect...
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32. you can never have too many
of those pumpkin things.
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33. You'd think I wouldn't enjoy that
because it is so fake, ha, ha, but I still do.
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34. Regular celery.
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35. Oh, I already have that.
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36. Done, with time to spare.
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37. - Ooh, this may be a new world's record.
- You know, I hate to lecture you guys...
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38. but it's kind of disgraceful that
a group of well-educated adults...
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39. and Joey, can't name all the states.
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40. You ever see a map or one of those
round colorful things called a globe?
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41. Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states.
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42. - What? That's impossible.
Forty-six.
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43. Well, who's well-educated now,
Mr. I-Forgot-Ten-States?
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44. I'm out of oven space.
I'm gonna go turn on Joey's.
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45. Please, watch him.
Do not let Joey eat any of the food.
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46. I am only one man.
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47. - Okay, time is up.
- Give me another minute.
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48. Ross, if you don't know them by now,
you will never know them, okay?
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49. That is the beauty of this game.
It makes you want to kill yourself.
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50. This is crazy. I can do this.
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51. All right, uh, I bet I can get
all 50, uh, before dinner.
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52. Okay, but if you can't, no dinner.
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53. You're on.
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54. All right, don't look at my list, because
there's a lot on there that you don't have.
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55. Hey, did you guys know
your oven doesn't work?
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56. But the drawer full of takeout menus
is okay, right?
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57. - Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
- Shh.
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58. Chandler, give me a hand.
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59. Sure. Joey, do not let Ross look at any
maps or the globe in your apartment.
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60. Don't worry, Chandler.
It's not a globe of the United States.
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61. Hey, you guys, I'm gonna go out
and take a walk.
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62. Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
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63. - Oh, it's not.
- Seriously, it's moving.
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64. - What the hell's in there?
- It's just my knitting. That's all.
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65. Yes, I knit this.
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66. I'm very good.
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67. Ross' apartment is nice.
Why don't we hang out here more often?
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68. I don't know.
Maybe because it smells weird.
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69. It's like old pumpkins or something.
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70. - That's my pie.
- Which smells delicious.
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71. - Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
- What?
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72. We left Joey alone with the food.
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73. Yep, yep, I knew it.
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74. There he is...
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75. feeding stuffing to a dog.
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76. Hi, Geller-Bing residence.
How can I help?
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77. Phoebe, why is there a dog
in our apartment?
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78. I'm sorry, who's this?
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79. Phoebe, there's a dog
sitting on my couch.
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80. Tell her I'm allergic, and I will sue.
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81. - No, there's no dog here.
- There is.
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82. He's black and white and shaggy.
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83. He's sitting next to Rachel
and licking Rachel's hand.
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84. Oh, my God. Where are you?
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85. I'll be right there.
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86. They're here already?
How are they doing this?
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87. Hi, Tag.
What are you doing here?
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88. I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend
Thanksgiving with you was still good.
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89. Well, sure. Come in.
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90. Well, what happened
to your girlfriend?
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91. We, uh, kind of broke up this morning.
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92. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, so she went back to Ohio.
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93. Ohio, thank you.
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94. Huh. Where's the dog?
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95. What dog? There's no dog here.
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96. Yeah, that dog left.
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97. Phoebe.
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98. Phoebe, open up.
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99. There's no dog in here.
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100. Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking.
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101. No, that's just me coughing.
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102. Oh, good. There you are.
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103. Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
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104. What is it doing here?
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105. I'm watching it for friends
who went out of town.
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106. Wait.
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107. Hello, my name is Klunkers.
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108. May I please stay
with you nice people?
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109. Oh, I wish he could stay here,
but Chandler's allergic.
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110. Extremely allergic, okay?
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111. If I am anywhere near a dog
for more than five minutes...
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112. my throat will just close up.
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113. That's odd, because this dog's
been living here for the past three days.
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114. Really?
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115. If the dog has been here that long...
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116. and you haven't had a reaction,
maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
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117. Well, it still has to go, right?
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118. Why?
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119. - Okay, it's, um...
- Don't do it.
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120. - Don't do what?
- I have to.
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121. Okay? It's time.
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122. Okay, I hate dogs.
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123. What?
That's crazy. Why?
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124. Told you.
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125. They are needy...
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126. they are jumpy, and you can't tell
what they are thinking...
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127. and that scares me a little bit.
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128. You're right. They are scary. Aah!
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129. She just ate a treat out of my hand!
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130. Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs?
I mean, not even puppies?
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131. Is there a puppy here?
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132. - You don't like puppies?
- Okay, you are new.
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133. Look, Chandler, I told you.
Never tell anyone about this dog thing.
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134. It's like Ross not liking ice cream.
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135. - You don't like ice cream?
- It's too cold.
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136. Okay, it's just that dogs make me
a little uncomfortable.
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137. Hurts my teeth.
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138. I don't wanna say this.
I don't want you guys to hate me...
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139. but, uh, I don't think I can be
around that dog anymore, okay?
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140. So either the dog goes or I go. Huh.
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141. Oh, my God.
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142. How can I not get this?
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143. I'm a college professor.
I got 1450 on my SATs.
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144. Twelve fifty.
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145. Damn, I forgot you were here.
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146. All right.
We're gonna take Klunkers to Ross'.
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147. We'll be back in a minute.
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148. Oh, wait, before you go,
can I ask a question?
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149. Um, when a guy breaks up
with his girlfriend...
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150. what is an appropriate amount of time
to wait before you make a move?
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151. Oh, I'd say about a month.
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152. - Really? I'd say three to four.
- Half-hour.
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153. Interesting.
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154. When it's your assistant,
I would say never.
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155. All right, Rach, the big question is,
does he like you?
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156. Right? Because if he doesn't like you,
this is all a moo point.
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157. Huh. A "moo" point?
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158. Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion.
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159. It just doesn't matter.
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160. It's "moo."
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161. Have I been living with him for too long,
or did that all just make sense?
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162. Please don't listen to Joey.
Okay? Would you look at him?
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163. He's obviously depressed.
He's away from his family.
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164. He's spending Thanksgiving
with strangers.
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165. What he needs right now
is for you to be his friend.
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166. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Thank you.
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167. - Okay, that's what I'm going to do.
- Fine, take their advice.
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168. No one ever listens to me.
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169. When the package is this pretty,
no one cares what's inside.
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170. - Hey.
- Hey.
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171. How you holding up?
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172. - Not bad.
- Yeah?
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173. - I'm sorry about your girlfriend.
- Thanks.
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174. - Were you guys together a long time?
- A year, on and off.
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175. I thought we'd end up together.
I don't anymore.
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176. - Now that she broke up with you.
- Yeah.
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177. - Hmm.
- It's weird.
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178. I always used to assume that I would meet
someone and fall in love and be happy.
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179. That all that was just a given.
Well, lately, it's like, what if it's not?
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180. Do you ever have that feeling?
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181. No.
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182. Yeah.
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183. All the time. Constantly. It's terrifying.
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184. But, you know, then I figure
it has to work out.
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185. Why?
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186. Because it has to.
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187. - You have all the answers, don't you?
- Yeah, I know, I do. I really do.
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188. - Hey, thanks for talking to me.
- Come on, what are bosses for?
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189. Hug it out.
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190. All right, he likes you back.
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191. Huh? Told you you should go for it.
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192. What?
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193. Street noise drown any of that out?
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194. No? All right, I'll see you later.
Ha, ha. Okay.
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195. What did Joey say? I like you back?
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196. Uh, yeah... You know, well, see, he...
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197. Joey knows that I'm very insecure
about my back.
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198. And... And you were hugging me...
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199. so obviously you are not
repulsed by it. Yeah. Heh.
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200. Wait a minute,
that doesn't make any sense.
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201. No?
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202. All right, here's the truth. Ahem.
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203. Joey said what he said because, um...
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204. I'm attracted to you.
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205. - Wow.
- Yeah, I admit it.
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206. I have a crush on you. And, uh, I know
that's crazy because we work together...
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207. and nothing could ever happen.
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208. And the last thing I wanted to do
was freak you out...
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209. or make you feel uncomfortable.
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210. Which is why it would be really great
if you said something right about now.
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211. Oh, my God.
Those guys are stealing my car.
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212. - What?
- Right there. That's my car.
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213. - Hey!
- Okay, that's gonna take a minute.
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214. Do you have anything else
you wanna get off your chest?
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215. I can't believe this.
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216. Wait, we still have time to talk,
and they're not even in the car yet.
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217. Oh, look, there they go. Okay.
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218. Okay, Phoebe.
We should probably go back now.
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219. Please, don't leave me. I'll be lonely.
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220. Stop it. Stop.
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221. - Okay, let's go. We can be strong.
- Yeah, okay.
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222. Oh, my God, did you hear that?
She said "Monica."
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223. Oh, I can't leave her.
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224. If you want, we could sneak the dog
back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
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225. That's not gonna work.
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226. I had that dog there for three days
and Chandler had no idea.
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227. He's not so smart.
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228. Hey. I didn't know either.
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229. Yeah, but you kind of knew that
something was going on, didn't you?
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230. Yeah, I knew. Heh.
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231. Where's Chandler?
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232. - Here I am.
- Wash your hands.
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233. How did you know?
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234. Hey, what's she doing back here?
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235. Relax, Ross.
She's not made of ice cream.
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236. Hey, look, Phoebe.
I, uh, laid out the states geographically.
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237. No, no, we don't have time for this.
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238. We have to keep Chandler
away from my room.
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239. Yeah, but, look what I...
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240. See, this is exactly
what we do not have time for.
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241. - Where's Monica?
- Uh, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in.
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242. Why not?
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243. Monica's crying.
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244. She's very upset
about this whole Klunkers thing.
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245. - Well, I should go in there.
- No, no.
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246. No, she doesn't want to see you
right now.
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247. - Why not?
- Because you sent away the dog.
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248. - That's ridiculous.
- Oh, is it? Is it?
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249. Look, when Monica and I were kids,
we had a dog named Rover.
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250. And, um, one day, my dad decides
he doesn't like dogs.
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251. So Monica and her friend... Phyllis...
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252. take away the dog, and that was
the last time we ever saw him.
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253. Don't you see? This is just like that...
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254. only with a few details changed.
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255. Okay, I'm in my sweatpants.
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256. Bring on the food.
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257. - What's the matter?
- Monica's all upset...
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258. because I sent Klunkers away.
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259. So? Bring the dog back. You're a hero.
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260. Yeah, I could be a hero.
I could do that. I could... I could do...
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261. What if it...? What if it attacks me?
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262. Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
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263. And that doesn't scare you?
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264. Ross, you need some help?
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265. From you?
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266. Yes, please.
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267. First of all, Utah?
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268. Dude, you can't just make stuff up.
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269. I hate America.
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270. When I finish this game,
I swear I am moving.
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271. - Hey. Tag still talking to the police?
- Yeah.
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272. Ugh, damn it. Why did I open my mouth?
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273. "I have a crush on you.
I'm attracted to you."
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274. I know that I freaked him out.
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275. If you said it like that,
you probably did, yeah.
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276. Hey, is Chandler here?
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277. Uh, no, no, he went for a walk.
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278. Okay, well, you cannot tell him,
but look who's back.
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279. - Hi.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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280. He went over to Ross'
to bring the dog back here.
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281. Oh, no, the dog's not going to be there.
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282. You think?
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283. Hi, honey.
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284. Please, please, please,
don't be mad at me.
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285. - What? Why would...?
- Shh. Wait and see.
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286. Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
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287. Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to
bring back Klunkers, you know, for you...
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288. and, ahem, I left the door open,
and she must've gotten out.
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289. And I looked everywhere, all over
the apartment, including the roof.
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290. Which, FYI, Ross,
one of your neighbors, growing weed.
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291. I couldn't find him...
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292. and I am so, so, so sorry.
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293. But I do know where we can all go
ease the pain.
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294. We have good news. Look who's back.
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295. Hi.
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296. Klunkers. Oh, my God.
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297. - That's right. She came back all by herself.
- It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
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298. It is so good to see you.
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299. Yeah, she came all the way back
from Ross' building.
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300. Oh, the things she must've seen.
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301. Then she climbed up the fire escape...
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302. and she tapped on the window
with her teeny little paw...
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303. and we ran to let her in.
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304. I went too far, didn't I?
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305. When should I have stopped?
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306. Okay, maybe this is so hard
because there aren't 50 states.
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307. Let me tell you something.
I have 49 states.
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308. Now, there are no more.
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309. Now, I think I should be able
to eat something.
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310. It's up to you.
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311. - Oh, hi. How are you doing?
- I'm okay.
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312. I gotta go down to the police station
and look at mug shots.
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313. - Thanks for having me over, you guys.
- Tag, you're going? Uh...
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314. We didn't, uh, get a chance to talk.
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315. So where did you say you're from again?
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316. - Colorado.
- Ah, what good are you?
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317. Look, um, I think we should talk about
what happened on the terrace.
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318. - Okay.
- Uh...
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319. I never should've said what I said.
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320. You know what?
It just doesn't matter how I feel.
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321. We work together, so nothing could really
ever happen between us.
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322. What I would love is just to go to work
on Monday and never talk about this again.
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323. Okay? Big day, Monday. Lots to do.
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324. So we okay?
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325. Um, I'm not.
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326. - Oh, God, I knew it. I freaked you out.
- No, you didn't.
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327. The only thing that freaked me out
was you saying...
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328. that nothing could happen between us.
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329. - Really?
- Yeah.
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330. So please don't fire me
for doing this.
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331. Okay, well, that's one less thing
we have to do on Monday.
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332. Delaware.
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333. Delaware.
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334. - All right.
- I want my turkey now.
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335. You got it.
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336. You got Nevada twice.
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337. - I know.
- Yeah.
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