1. - Get ready for a "Game Changer!"
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2. It's a little different
this way, doesn't it?
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3. I'm Sam Reich, and when I say
I've been here the whole time,
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4. this time, I really mean it.
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5. I've been writing "Game Changer,"
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6. performing in stuff such
as "Mice and Murder,"
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7. and helping run the company from here,
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8. this chair, this room,
for the last few years.
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9. We got "Troopers" helmets over here.
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10. We got the "Yes or No"
bobblehead over here.
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11. You asked for it, and so here it is,
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12. a very special cutting room
floor episode of "Game Changer."
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13. This is the stuff we didn't
intend for you to see,
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14. and then you made a stink
about it on social media,
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15. and so now we feel obligated to.
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16. Now you might be saying to yourself, "Sam,
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17. I love every ounce of spittle that
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18. is released from the
mouths of you chucklefucks,
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19. why cut anything at all?"
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20. This episode will intend
to answer that question,
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21. starting with we cut things for time.
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22. Episodes of "Game Changer"
are largely 25 to 35 minutes.
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23. Why?
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24. Because I have a soft spot
for that kind of programming.
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25. It also helps to offset
some of our longer shows.
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26. I'm not naming names.
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27. I want episodes of "Game
Changer" to feel urgent,
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28. to leave you wanting more.
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29. So without further ado,
here's some cut prompts
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30. from Make Some Noise,
including a longer version
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31. of Shakespeare's inflight safety video,
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32. a backstage moment from "Survivor"
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33. on the villainous nature of apple eating,
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34. and finally, the cut, albeit
brief, "Busker's Song"
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35. from The Official Cast Recording.
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36. Brennan, a general contractor's quote
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37. for getting the sword
out out of the stone.
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38. - Oh God! (laughs)
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39. - Oh yeah.
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40. Yeah, that's in there.
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41. See, the issue here is this,
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42. is that it's not just the granite, okay?
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43. 'Cause you could get the
true king of England here,
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44. and you could pull this
out, and that would be fine.
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45. But you're talking about
damage to the blade
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46. coming out of the granite stone.
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47. You're talking about any kinda rust damage
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48. that's already been here in the interim.
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49. This got placed here by a giant or wizard,
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50. do we know how long ago?
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51. - I think it's been there
as long as I can remember,
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52. maybe forever.
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53. - From a prior tenant?
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54. - Okay.
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55. - This is gonna be a... dragon's hoard.
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56. That's if I can get my guys,
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57. 'cause there's no guarantee.
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58. Josh.
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59. - Yes?
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60. - A trip to the zoo goes terribly wrong.
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61. - No problem.
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62. Here we go, ohp, he fell.
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63. - Oh.
- Oh God.
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64. Son, you okay?
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65. Oh God, daddy, daddy, help me!
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66. Hi, Becca?
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67. Daddy!
(Brennan laughing)
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68. Yeah, so, okay, so Marcus fell.
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69. I am here at the (growls), at the zoo,
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70. but the problem is. (monkey noises)
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71. Uh-oh, why would they let them in?
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72. That many?
(Brennan and Sam laughing)
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73. Oh no, please don't!
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74. Please don't, I can't possibly!
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75. Yeah, no, he's pecking his.
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76. Oh, I'll be home soon!
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77. - If that prompt was a moving car,
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78. you just opened the door and bailed!
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79. - Created a whole soundscape, honestly,
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80. at least until I gave up.
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81. - Zac.
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82. - Okay!
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83. - The fifth "Wizard of Oz" character
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84. who didn't make the cut.
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85. - Eh, I don't wanna interrupt,
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86. but we haven't found my keys yet. (laughs)
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87. The heart is important.
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88. Courage is important.
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89. Finding your way back home is great.
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90. But I have one little weird key.
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91. It's for a safe that my mom got me
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92. when I was in fourth grade.
(Brennan laughs)
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93. That I think that my
original Social Security card
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94. is in there, okay?
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95. - Josh and Zac.
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96. An alien spelling bee.
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97. - Khallum-kowhown
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98. - Kye penwingown in a sentence?
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99. - Khal-khallum.
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100. Hooooop!
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101. - Mm.
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102. Ham-hallum.
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103. Click, port, click, (gasps)
fleemp, oh, (squaks)
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104. eh, ah, onk, pff.
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105. - Kha-nana-khallum.
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106. - Just wait a second! (laughs)
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107. Wait!
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108. What happened at the end there?
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109. - I think he got it wrong!
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110. - Zac.
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111. - Okay.
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112. - And Brennan.
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113. (Brennan gasps)
- Okay.
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114. - A meet cute!
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115. In quicksand.
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116. - Whoa, bluh!
- Boof!
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117. (Zac gasps)
- Stay still!
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118. - Okay, okay, okay!
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119. - If you move, if you move
through the quicksand,
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120. it will begin to drag you deeper!
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121. - Okay!
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122. - I think I can feel maybe a root with my,
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123. oh no, that's, is that your toe?
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124. - That is my toe.
- Oh God.
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125. - Ah, gosh, I dropped all my papers,
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126. and I had a report on the
topography of the jungle.
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127. - Gotcha, I was also
swinging through vines
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128. on my way to give a
report on the jungle too.
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129. That's crazy, wow.
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130. - What camp were you at?
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131. - I'm at the lake shore
camp, what camp are you at?
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132. - Ah, the river basin.
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133. - Oh my God.
(contestants laugh)
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134. - Weird.
- Weird.
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135. - I'm Tad.
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136. - No, no, no, no, no!
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137. No, okay!
(percussive music sting)
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138. - Brennan, Josh, Zac.
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139. The New York Stock Exchange trading floor
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140. if they were yelling about
things that actually matter.
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141. - We're looking at big migration, by-
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142. - Climate change!
- And climate change!
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143. - Climate change!
- Climate change!
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144. - Climate change!
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145. - We need a mass elevation
of consciousness,
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146. 'cause there's a lot of
parts of the civilization
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147. that have not upgraded their morality
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148. or their sense of civic responsibility!
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149. - People getting vaccinated,
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150. we gotta get a lot of vaccinations!
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151. - Misogyny, especially
in the film industry!
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152. - We live in one shared
ecosystem, two for one!
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153. - We only have one planet, one planet!
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154. - One almond, one gallon of water!
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155. - Can I get 12 years
to stop climate change?
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156. - Brennan Mulligan.
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157. Shakespeare's in-flight safety video.
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158. - Prithee and well met, thou
tempestuous witch of storms
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159. to alight so delicately
upon the jet streams
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160. of the cerulean sky.
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161. Welcome to Spirit Airlines.
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162. Thou now beholdest the bard of Avon.
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163. And behold!
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164. Twixt either side of you,
the ends of your safety belt.
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165. Be ever so good as to to
them at the joining place!
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166. Lest we crash into the mountainside,
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167. and verily thou skull is split
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168. upon the dining tray before thee!
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169. Also, thou shalt notice
two emergency exits
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170. to the starboard and port
side of the aerocraft!
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171. These emergency exits are the very doorway
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172. to thou best chance of life,
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173. should we make an aquatic
landing during our flight!
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174. Behold now in your
chest, the beating heart
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175. that once gave you life upon your crowning
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176. from thy mother's womb,
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177. the womb again opens of this aerocraft!
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178. In this emergency exit row, and this,
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179. between the smoldering ruins
of this Boeing 747 aircraft,
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180. and blessed life beyond!
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181. Thou knowest the ways
in which Spirit Airlines
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182. comports itself, so, there
will be no free snacks.
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183. Only a $14 cheese platter, verily!
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184. - How do you like them apples?
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185. I am gonna have an apple though.
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186. - These apples are great.
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187. - These actually are
really are good apples.
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188. - Yeah, I do like apples
- I think they're Fiji.
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189. - Fiji, it's always the way to go.
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190. - Now, I've never been a
sour apple guy, I won't lie.
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191. In fact, if there was a sour
apple here, I'd vote them out.
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192. - Is that code?
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193. Which one of us is a sour apple?
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194. - Guys, I'd like to vote
out this sour apple.
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195. - One of my favorite things is like,
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196. the immediate sort of villain tell
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197. is them like eating an apple,
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198. only, their face is like.
- Oh yeah.
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199. - Oh, like Jafar.
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200. - Yes, Jafar, or Geoffrey Rush
in "Pirates of Caribbean."
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201. - Oh yeah.
- Or like-
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202. - I think it's because
biting into an apple,
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203. I think, is probably the closest thing
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204. to like breaking bones.
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205. Like, I feel that sound is so like.
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206. Kah!
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207. Like, I like,
(laughing)
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208. like, I hurt people.
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209. - It looks like like a little heart, like,
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210. there's like, there's juice everywhere.
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211. - Mm.
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212. - And the forbidden fruit.
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213. - That's right!
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214. That's right!
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215. - There's some real
analogous shit going on.
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216. - Yep, it goes deep.
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217. - And gosh, now all eating apples.
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218. - Which one of this is the villain?
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219. That's the question.
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220. - Oh. (laughs)
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221. - It's true.
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222. - Wait a minute!
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223. - Our busker plays guitar,
hoping for a coin or two.
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224. - Hey.
- Hey.
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225. - I've been on this
corner for a long time.
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226. - Yeah.
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227. - Take my guitar.
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228. - Take your guitar?
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229. - Play it well.
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230. I quit.
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231. - This.
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232. - But-
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233. - But you can do it.
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234. - Here's the secret.
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235. I didn't either.
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236. Fake it till you make it,
and when you can't make it.
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237. - Thanks.
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238. - This is really compelling.
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239. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
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240. - Wait, gimme that back.
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241. - No!
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242. Actually, yes.
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243. - Another reason we might cut is taste.
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244. As an improviser, you want the freedom
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245. to make whatever jokes
occur to you in the moment.
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246. Only later, you might
realize that they are poor.
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247. The same goes for me as host.
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248. Sometimes I fully plan
a bit, and execute it,
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249. and then only realize in retrospect
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250. that it was in bad taste.
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251. With that in mind,
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252. please enjoy some cut Grant
jokes from Like My Coffee,
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253. and a bit from Don't Cry
that I, well, you'll see.
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254. Early on, the players
have discovered a mechanic
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255. about the game, which is
that they can keep going
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256. as long as they like.
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257. Grant.
- Hey!
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258. - I like my lovers to keep
going as long as I like.
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259. - No, Grant.
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260. I like my lovers like like
I like my dental check-ups.
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261. Grant.
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262. - Using a drill.
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263. - I don't think you're
being honest, Grant.
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264. I'm not gonna award you that point.
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265. - I'm sorry, no, no, hang on.
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266. No, no, no, no, no.
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267. - Oh, a drill.
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268. Double entendre?
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269. - No.
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270. I wanna use a dental
drill both on my teeth,
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271. and on someone's penis and testicles.
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272. - I'm not gonna give it to you, Grant.
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273. - Unbelievable.
(percussive music sting)
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274. - Are you a flip phone?
- Oh!
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275. (buzzer buzzes)
- Grant.
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276. - Are you a flip phone?
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277. Because you can't get on the internet.
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278. - As Jeff Probst would
say, I got nothing for ya.
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279. - No.
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280. (buzzer buzzes)
- Jess.
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281. - Are you a flip phone?
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282. Because I'm not afraid to drop you.
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283. That's a breakup one.
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284. - Breakup lines are
the next episode, Jess.
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285. - Oh, damn, okay.
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286. - I might need the help of a
calculator for this last one.
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287. Luke, how old are your parents?
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288. - 70 and 72.
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289. - Let's be optimistic.
- Oh no.
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290. What is this?
(contestant laughing)
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291. This is bad!
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292. - How many times a year do you see them?
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293. - Probably twice.
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294. - Cool.
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295. So Luke, you have about 26 visits left.
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296. - Yeah.
- With your parents,
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297. assuming they live to the age of 85.
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298. - Whoa, oh my God!
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299. - All I want you to do is to
look into your camera there.
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300. I want you to count to 26.
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301. - Sure.
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302. - Imagining one of those numbers is each
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303. a visit left that you
have with your parents.
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304. - Yeah, okay.
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305. - Oh my God!
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306. - One, two, three, four-
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307. - You can slow down a little bit.
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308. - Five.
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309. Six.
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310. - Really picture the visit.
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311. - Seven, eight, nine,
(contestant laughs)
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312. 10,
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313. 11,
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314. 12,
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315. 13,
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316. 14,
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317. 15,
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318. 16,
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319. 17,
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320. 18,
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321. 19,
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322. 20,
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323. 21.
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324. - You can slow down even more.
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325. - 22,
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326. 23,
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327. 24,
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328. 25,
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329. 26.
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330. - I think I might have
got you there, Luke.
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331. Did I?
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332. - Does a quiver count as a tear?
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333. - I'm gonna say a quiver counts,
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334. I'm gonna take a point
away from you, Luke.
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335. - All right.
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336. I quivered, sorry, I quivered.
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337. - Another reason we might cut is chaos.
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338. While "Game Changer" is
supposed to be an unhinged show,
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339. it's also supposed to be structured.
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340. As wild as things get, I
want the audience to feel
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341. like I actually have
everything under control.
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342. And so, we sometimes cut
moments where I clearly do not.
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343. Please enjoy two such moments.
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344. The first is what actually happened
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345. at the bitter end of Filmed
Before a Live Studio Audience.
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346. And the second is what actually happened
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347. when Brennan played his loopty loop
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348. against Ally in Survivor.
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349. - Izzy is the winner of our show!
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350. - Ah!
- Ah!
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351. - Yay, Izzy!
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352. - Izzy, you win a!
- Yay!
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353. - Izzy, you win a Rage
Room gift certificate!
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354. - A what?
(contestants shrieking)
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355. - A Rage Room gift certificate!
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356. - A range?
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357. - A Rage Room gift certificate!
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358. - Okay!
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359. - That you can use at your leisure!
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360. - Rage Room?
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361. - That does it for us
here at "Game Changer!"
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362. I am Sam Reich, and if you think
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363. that Pavlov's dogs are something!
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364. Sorry, lemme just take this clean.
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365. - Okay.
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366. - This is an immunity loopty loop.
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367. Any votes cast for Brennan will not count.
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368. - Oh my God, all right.
- Wow!
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369. - You think I'm gonna fucking roll over?
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370. - Wow!
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371. - You look me in the eyes, Beardsley,
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372. and say-
- Wow!
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373. - Brennan, I think it's your fucking time!
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374. It'll be a cold day in hell
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375. when I go out like a fucking chump!
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376. - Whoa!
- Oh, bro!
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377. My goodness gracious!
- Oh!
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378. - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yay!
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379. - Wow!
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380. - Yeah!
- My goodness!
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381. - Oh my God, listen to me, listen to me-
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382. - Order!
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383. Order on my stage!
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384. - Good stuff.
(contestants laughing)
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385. Have a good one, y'all.
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386. - All right, boys-
(contestant laughing)
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387. - The final reason we
might cut is pure vanity.
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388. For whatever reason, there's
been a funny groundswell
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389. of support for a me reaction version
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390. of the Official Cast Recording.
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391. Something that shows off
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392. my reacting in disbelief throughout.
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393. We tried this.
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394. We're gonna show you a clip of it,
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395. and I think you will quickly
realize why we do not do this.
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396. Because I look like a loon.
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397. Of anything we've showed,
this is the most embarrassing.
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398. Do me a favor, if you're
chatting about this
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399. on social media, don't tag
me, I don't need to know.
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400. Enjoy!
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401. Welcome to Mountport.
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402. - Good morning!
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403. - Good morning!
- Good morning!
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404. - Hello, hello, hello there!
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405. - Hello!
- Hello, hey, yo, down there!
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406. - Hey, hey!
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407. Timothy!
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408. - Yeah?
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409. - You're not allowed
on the street anymore,
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410. and you know why!
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411. - Why?
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412. - On account of the crimes!
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413. - Okay, I guess I'll go back indoors!
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414. - Oh, it's another foggy day
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415. where the ocean marine layer
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416. gets stuck in our mountain range!
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417. - That's right!
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418. - And I wouldn't have it any other way!
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419. - Don't ask me!
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420. - You can ask me!
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421. - Get back inside!
- Okay!
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422. - Holy shit!
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423. - We get a lot of points then?
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424. - Yeah, put the points in there.
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425. - Yeah.
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426. - Holy shit!
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427. - Where are them up?
- Gimme those points!
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428. - What you do is a magic trick.
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429. That's it for us here at "Game
Changer," but only for now.
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430. As I've said publicly,
you can soon expect three,
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431. count them, three "Game Changer" spinoffs.
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432. A "Never Have I Ever" spinoff
called "Dirty Laundry,"
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433. a "Make Some Noise"
spinoff by the same title,
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434. and an as of yet untitled spinoff
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435. of "The Official Cast Recording."
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436. Not to mention new
episodes of "Game Changer,"
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437. which I am writing right now,
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438. and we'll shoot over the summer.
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439. It is, as ever, an absolute
privilege to play for you.
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440. Thanks for watching.
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