1. - Get ready for a Game Changer!Copy !req
2. Tonight's guests...Copy !req
3. Making his Game Changer
debut, it's Luke Field!Copy !req
4. Left from right, who cares?Copy !req
5. When all directions point to Jess Ross!Copy !req
6. Anim-unker, totally
ins-unker. It's Rekha Shankar!Copy !req
7. And your host, me!Copy !req
8. I've been here the whole time.Copy !req
9. This is Game Changer,Copy !req
10. the only game show where
the game changes every show.Copy !req
11. I am your host, Sam Reich.Copy !req
12. I'm joined, today, by these
three lovely contestants.Copy !req
13. Now, you all understand
how the game works.Copy !req
14. - No.
- Nope.Copy !req
15. - That's right, our players have no ideaCopy !req
16. what game it is they're about to play.Copy !req
17. The only way to learn is by playing.Copy !req
18. The only way to win is by learning,Copy !req
19. and the only way to begin is by beginning.Copy !req
20. So without further ado, let's begin.Copy !req
21. Players, there is one rule of our gameCopy !req
22. and one rule only: don't cry.Copy !req
23. - Oh my God!Copy !req
24. - You should just kill me now!Copy !req
25. Jess was crying before her curtain opened!Copy !req
26. - I've got a lot going
on in my life, right now!Copy !req
27. - Without further ado,Copy !req
28. let's begin by giving
each of you 10 pointsCopy !req
29. to start out with.Copy !req
30. Players, first up, I'd like
to see you chop an onion.Copy !req
31. - This is so easy. I work at a kitchen.Copy !req
32. - Luke taught me how to
chop an onion to not cry.Copy !req
33. - What's the technique?
It's off the grain, or...?Copy !req
34. - Not telling you.Copy !req
35. - Why?Copy !req
36. - The technique is, you
stick it in your eyeball!Copy !req
37. - Rub it really good!Copy !req
38. - Real tight, so that the tears stay out!Copy !req
39. - Players, if you would
each take a positionCopy !req
40. in front of your respective onions.Copy !req
41. - Hm.
- Hmmm.Copy !req
42. - Go for it.Copy !req
43. - All right.Copy !req
44. - Do you have a technique
for cutting onions, Luke?Copy !req
45. - I'll explain it at
the end, after I've won.Copy !req
46. - Wow, Luke!Copy !req
47. - This is like a Top Chef quickfire.Copy !req
48. Can I say Top Chef or
are you gonna bleep it?Copy !req
49. - You can say Top Chef.Copy !req
50. - Oh, I think we
have a similar technique.Copy !req
51. - Yeah, I have one magic trick, though,Copy !req
52. that works all the time.Copy !req
53. - Stop bragging.Copy !req
54. Did you want a dice? What do you want?Copy !req
55. - I want a nice dice.Copy !req
56. Not a mince. We don't need to go that far.Copy !req
57. Luke looking like he's got
a very even cut, over there.Copy !req
58. - Are we showing?
- Completely dry.Copy !req
59. - I'm not done, but I'll show.Copy !req
60. - Pretty nice, guys.Copy !req
61. - What'd you do with all that middle?Copy !req
62. - Go ahead and head back to your podiums.Copy !req
63. - Will we be able to wash our hands?Copy !req
64. - No.Copy !req
65. - Oh, okay.Copy !req
66. - I'll say, I'm getting misty-eyed.Copy !req
67. - I'm a little misty-eyed.Copy !req
68. - Cry cams! What do we got!Copy !req
69. They're each zooming in on you right now.Copy !req
70. I see some redness in
Rekha's eyes for sure.Copy !req
71. - There's definitely something happening.Copy !req
72. - They were zesty for sure.Copy !req
73. - Also, wait a minute.Copy !req
74. These motherfuckers
have glasses, so do you.Copy !req
75. Are you trying to fucking trick me?Copy !req
76. - Rekha will never trust me again.Copy !req
77. I think all of you managed to
get through that unscathed.Copy !req
78. - Would you like to know the
secret to chopping an onion?Copy !req
79. - I would, very much.Copy !req
80. - So, most people at homeCopy !req
81. in their kitchens will chop
the ends off of an onion,Copy !req
82. but you don't do that.Copy !req
83. You slice through the middleCopy !req
84. of the top where the little thing isCopy !req
85. because by chopping that off,Copy !req
86. that is the thing that releases the juicesCopy !req
87. that makes you cry.Copy !req
88. - Oh, that's what I did.Copy !req
89. - Yeah, I know and you
almost screwed us all.Copy !req
90. - I did not!Copy !req
91. - Up next, receive a little
something from a secret admirer.Copy !req
92. - Oh my God.Copy !req
93. - What?Copy !req
94. - We've got flowers for each of you.Copy !req
95. - Stop!Copy !req
96. - And chocolates for each of you.Copy !req
97. - Aw, this is really cute!Copy !req
98. - This is very nice!Copy !req
99. Thank you. Thank you!Copy !req
100. - Each of those boxes do, in fact,Copy !req
101. come from someone in your
life that thought this,Copy !req
102. in particular, would be nice for you.Copy !req
103. - Aw, I know that Kait picked thisCopy !req
104. 'cause it's my favorite kind of chocolateCopy !req
105. and my favorite kind of flowers.Copy !req
106. And then the other day, she was like,Copy !req
107. "You like sunflowers, don't you?"Copy !req
108. I was like, yeah.Copy !req
109. - Cry cams! Anything?Copy !req
110. - This is really cute.Copy !req
111. - It's really nice. Nobody
knows anything about me.Copy !req
112. - I'm so alone that I'm not afraidCopy !req
113. that this actually came
from a real person.Copy !req
114. - No, Luke! (laughs)Copy !req
115. - Luke, that's pretty sad!Copy !req
116. - Thank you!Copy !req
117. - But nothing.Copy !req
118. - I mask it with humor.Copy !req
119. - Would you mind laying those downCopy !req
120. at the feet of your podiums?Copy !req
121. Next up, players.Copy !req
122. - Someone's coming on
to fuck us 'til we cry!Copy !req
123. - Oh my God!
- Oh my God!Copy !req
124. - You're really taking a wholesome episodeCopy !req
125. and making it dirty as hell, Rekha!Copy !req
126. - Why is that always the
twist of these episodes?Copy !req
127. - Why is this always the twist?Copy !req
128. We're figuring it out slowly. (laughs)Copy !req
129. - Each of you is gonna get a
laptop and a set of headphones.Copy !req
130. - Oh my God.Copy !req
131. A free laptop, I think I will cry.Copy !req
132. - Yeah.Copy !req
133. - Players, go ahead and hit the space barCopy !req
134. in three, two, one, go.Copy !req
135. They are watching the
first four or five minutesCopy !req
136. of Disney's Up.Copy !req
137. - Oh my God.Copy !req
138. - Obviously, we could
not show you at home UpCopy !req
139. because it is a Disney property,Copy !req
140. but in case it's been a while for you,Copy !req
141. let me tell you what our players
are looking at, right now.Copy !req
142. A young couple buying their first home.Copy !req
143. It's a fixer-upper, so
plenty of work is required,Copy !req
144. but the couple still makes
plenty of time for themselvesCopy !req
145. and their lives.Copy !req
146. They wander up a hill, toward a tree,Copy !req
147. underneath which they
have regular picnics.Copy !req
148. As time goes by, the couple gets olderCopy !req
149. and they end up wanting a child.Copy !req
150. It's only natural but
sadly, the woman cannot.Copy !req
151. And so, no matter, they turn their sightsCopy !req
152. toward a happy rest of their
lives and plow forward.Copy !req
153. Before you know it, they're old and gray,Copy !req
154. living in that same houseCopy !req
155. and as that woman follows that manCopy !req
156. up their hill one last timeCopy !req
157. with the tree with the picnic underneath,Copy !req
158. she falls over and ends
up in the hospital.Copy !req
159. He kisses her on the
forehead in her hospital bed,Copy !req
160. as we cross fade into her funeral.Copy !req
161. The husband, broken, ends
up wandering back homeCopy !req
162. and shutting the door on the houseCopy !req
163. that he and his wife built together.Copy !req
164. - It's so sad!Copy !req
165. - Psychotic.Copy !req
166. - Cry cams!Copy !req
167. Anything?Copy !req
168. - I definitely teared up, yeah.Copy !req
169. - Jess definitely teared up.Copy !req
170. - I have, you know, breath
in my lungs that is moving,Copy !req
171. but I haven't cried.Copy !req
172. - Heart of stone, Rekha!Copy !req
173. - I have not cried,Copy !req
174. but I'm feeling a lot
of feelings, right now.Copy !req
175. - It was very sad!Copy !req
176. - That is a point away from Jess Ross.Copy !req
177. As emotional as that Up sequence is, like,Copy !req
178. I think it's important on a human levelCopy !req
179. because, you know, it's about
how quick the time goes by.Copy !req
180. - Yeah.Copy !req
181. - Speaking of which,Copy !req
182. here's some childhood
photos of all of you.Copy !req
183. - Oh no!Copy !req
184. - Jesus!Copy !req
185. - Little baby!Copy !req
186. - You still make this face!Copy !req
187. - That's me.Copy !req
188. - You still make that face!Copy !req
189. - I do, yeah.Copy !req
190. - The music does make
it look like we died.Copy !req
191. Awww!Copy !req
192. - Oh, here comes trouble!Copy !req
193. - Oh my God!Copy !req
194. - Jess!Copy !req
195. - Almost the same haircut.Copy !req
196. - Oh, ho! That was beautiful! Genuinely!Copy !req
197. - Awww!
- Awww!Copy !req
198. - That's Zubu and Bugsy!Copy !req
199. Oh my God!Copy !req
200. That's Betty and Jojo!Copy !req
201. Mr. Harfo!Copy !req
202. - How many cats did you have?Copy !req
203. Oh my God!Copy !req
204. - Cry cams!Copy !req
205. I think I might've got you there, Luke.Copy !req
206. - Does a quiver count as a tear?Copy !req
207. - I'm gonna say a quiver counts.Copy !req
208. - Dammit! All right.Copy !req
209. - I'm gonna take a
point away from you, Luke.Copy !req
210. - I quivered! Sorry, I quivered!Copy !req
211. - Here's a question, are all
of your parents still with usCopy !req
212. or have any of them passed?Copy !req
213. - Yes.Copy !req
214. - They are with us.Copy !req
215. - Luke, I want you to
look into your cameraCopy !req
216. and I want you to tell one of your parentsCopy !req
217. what they mean to you.Copy !req
218. - I'll do the easier one. Dad.Copy !req
219. - Slammed, Dad.Copy !req
220. - Dad, you're good old, reliable.Copy !req
221. You know, I can always
count on you for a rideCopy !req
222. from the airport.Copy !req
223. You worked really hard your whole life.Copy !req
224. I think that's gone
unnoticed in our familyCopy !req
225. and I wanna tell you that I noticedCopy !req
226. and that I'm proud to have you as my Dad.Copy !req
227. - Aww!Copy !req
228. - Very sincere, Luke! Very sincere.Copy !req
229. - You asked!Copy !req
230. - You know, without breaking,
I gotta hand it to you.Copy !req
231. - Thank you.Copy !req
232. - I'll let you hold on
to all those points.Copy !req
233. - Whew!Copy !req
234. - Jess, same from you. Pick a parent.Copy !req
235. - Harry or Coco?Copy !req
236. - I'm going Coco!Copy !req
237. - Aww!Copy !req
238. - Mom, well, you would never watch this.Copy !req
239. How can you ever figure
out how to find this?Copy !req
240. But Mom, I love you so much.Copy !req
241. You are my best friend.Copy !req
242. You're my favorite person
in the entire world.Copy !req
243. You put everybody before yourself.Copy !req
244. You allowed me and my brother to like,Copy !req
245. do the things that we wanted
to do and gave up so muchCopy !req
246. and I just love you so much.Copy !req
247. - That's beautiful, Jess.Copy !req
248. - Yeah.Copy !req
249. - Rekha.Copy !req
250. - Dad, you will also never find this.Copy !req
251. You don't know what this isCopy !req
252. and you don't know what CollegeHumor isCopy !req
253. and that's okay. (laughing)Copy !req
254. I appreciate everything you've done.Copy !req
255. You've taught me so much
about responsibility,Copy !req
256. about hard work.Copy !req
257. You sacrifice everything for the familyCopy !req
258. and you ask for nothing in return.Copy !req
259. You provide levity to any situationCopy !req
260. and I am immensely lucky to have had youCopy !req
261. as such a stabilizing force in my life.Copy !req
262. - That is so beautiful, all three of you.Copy !req
263. You know something? You should be writers.Copy !req
264. - You can hire, my Instagram is-Copy !req
265. - Next up, it's time for the mailbag!Copy !req
266. - Uh oh.Copy !req
267. - Oh!Copy !req
268. - Rekha, fresh off the presses.Copy !req
269. - It is warm.Copy !req
270. - It's been in my suit
pocket for a minute.Copy !req
271. - Ohh, hot, hot!Copy !req
272. - Luke.Copy !req
273. - Ay ya, ya ya ya!Copy !req
274. - Let's begin with Jess.Copy !req
275. Would you open that letter upCopy !req
276. and read it aloud to us, please?Copy !req
277. - Oh my God.Copy !req
278. Oh my God, my Mom wrote a letter for this?Copy !req
279. This is crazy.Copy !req
280. How do I put 35 years of your lifeCopy !req
281. into a hundred words or less?Copy !req
282. Well, here it goes.Copy !req
283. When you were little, you wore flower topsCopy !req
284. with checkered pants, liked
your shoes on the wrong feet,Copy !req
285. and always kept a bird's
nest in your hair.Copy !req
286. Growing up, you liked
Princess Bride and Braveheart,Copy !req
287. I Love Lucy, WrestleMania,Copy !req
288. Wall-E, and Se7en.Copy !req
289. Oh my God!Copy !req
290. - That is quite the spread, Jess!Copy !req
291. And it continues to this day (laughs)Copy !req
292. And it continues to
this day with PocahontasCopy !req
293. and Joe Bob Briggs.Copy !req
294. - Yeah!Copy !req
295. - You are open-minded and optimisticCopy !req
296. and find the good in everyone,Copy !req
297. even if it's only a little good.Copy !req
298. You treat everyone with
kindness and respect,Copy !req
299. whether they're walking
down Hollywood BoulevardCopy !req
300. without pants, oh my God, Mom.Copy !req
301. All right.Copy !req
302. Or a celebrity you ran
into at the Gelson's.Copy !req
303. I love that store, by the way.Copy !req
304. You have a great sense of humor.Copy !req
305. You are genuine, honest and sincere.Copy !req
306. You care about human
rights, animal rights,Copy !req
307. and the planet we live on.Copy !req
308. You're an absolute great listener.Copy !req
309. I have called you for many
therapy sessions over the years.Copy !req
310. You love acting, writing,
exercising - very weird - cooking,Copy !req
311. and most of all, your Kait and Poppy.Copy !req
312. I think you are oneCopy !req
313. of those very rare people
who enjoys the journey.Copy !req
314. Oh my God!Copy !req
315. So many people have
complimented Daddy and meCopy !req
316. on how you were raised,Copy !req
317. and I always honestly
tell them it wasn't us,Copy !req
318. you just came that way.Copy !req
319. You're a blessing and a joy to me.Copy !req
320. I love you more than 1
million words could ever say.Copy !req
321. Love, Coco. XOXOXOXOXO.Copy !req
322. Okay, wow.Copy !req
323. Well, that made me cry for sure.Copy !req
324. - Got her!Copy !req
325. - You blew it.Copy !req
326. We'll take a point away from Jess.Copy !req
327. Rekha, let's open your letter.Copy !req
328. - I'm shaking.Copy !req
329. Dear...Copy !req
330. Jess,Copy !req
331. I've never had a creative partner beforeCopy !req
332. because I usually prefer writing alone,Copy !req
333. but when I write with you,Copy !req
334. it feels like there's magic in the air.Copy !req
335. You are such a talented, inspiring personCopy !req
336. and are so deeply generous
with your time, car rides,Copy !req
337. feedback and vegan treats.Copy !req
338. I think comedy would be a lot better placeCopy !req
339. with more Jess-es who have
really killer points of viewCopy !req
340. and are also somehow
genuine, funny, smart,Copy !req
341. excited for other people,
and just all around good.Copy !req
342. I feel really lucky to
have met you and gottenCopy !req
343. to do so many sexy projects with you.Copy !req
344. You're one of the peopleCopy !req
345. that makes me feel like
I do have a communityCopy !req
346. and a home in LA.Copy !req
347. I'm sorry I introduced you
to the Bachelor franchise.Copy !req
348. Love, Rekha.Copy !req
349. - Oh my God.Copy !req
350. Are we allowed to hug?Copy !req
351. Is anybody gonna be mad at us?Copy !req
352. I see where this is all going.Copy !req
353. - Let's go ahead and take
another point away from Jess.Copy !req
354. Luke, I think it's time for your letter.Copy !req
355. - Yes, so about a year and a half ago,Copy !req
356. I was supposed to be the
best man at a weddingCopy !req
357. and that, due to circumstances
beyond our control,Copy !req
358. didn't happen, but I have
the best man speech hereCopy !req
359. that I'd like to read now.Copy !req
360. For reference, my friend
who I was supposedCopy !req
361. to be best man for
proposed to their fianceCopy !req
362. during a game of D&D, so
thematically, this plays.Copy !req
363. An adventurer lies bloodied
and broken on the ground.Copy !req
364. - Oh my God!Copy !req
365. - Looming above him, five serpentine headsCopy !req
366. of an enormous feral
Hydra gnash their teethCopy !req
367. and flick their forked tongues.Copy !req
368. The adventurer braces himself
as the Hydra lunges at him.Copy !req
369. However, the monster's
teeth find no purchase.Copy !req
370. With a flash of a blade,Copy !req
371. one of the heads falls to
the ground next to him.Copy !req
372. A voice rings out,Copy !req
373. "Back, foul beast!"Copy !req
374. - Oh my God!Copy !req
375. - The adventurer turnsCopy !req
376. to see the most
resplendent armored warriorCopy !req
377. to ever stride across the multiverse.Copy !req
378. The adventurer watches in aweCopy !req
379. as the hero deftly dispatches the Hydra.Copy !req
380. The beast slain, she
turns and extends a handCopy !req
381. of aid to her battered companion.Copy !req
382. The adventurer kneels and addresses her.Copy !req
383. "Lady Jessica Ross, I pledge myself to youCopy !req
384. and promise always to be your
humble servant and friend.Copy !req
385. All good things in my life spring forthCopy !req
386. from your positive influence.Copy !req
387. I wish for everything
good to happen for youCopy !req
388. and I love you very much.Copy !req
389. Lady Jessica pulls the
adventurer to his feetCopy !req
390. and brings him in close.Copy !req
391. Staring intently, seriously into his eyes,Copy !req
392. she addresses him.Copy !req
393. "Nerd!"Copy !req
394. And she was right, as always.Copy !req
395. And together, they ride into the sunset.Copy !req
396. Two friends, continuing
their journey together,Copy !req
397. honor-bound to always
be there for each otherCopy !req
398. with mutual respect and love.Copy !req
399. P.S. If it wasn't clear, I was
the adventurer in the story.Copy !req
400. - Awww!Copy !req
401. - Oh my God!Copy !req
402. - (exhales) That's definitely a point awayCopy !req
403. from Luke and from Jess.Copy !req
404. - I'll take it, I'll take it.Copy !req
405. - Grant O'Brien.Copy !req
406. - What? What is happening?Copy !req
407. - Grant's already crying!Copy !req
408. - I started crying
backstage listening to this!Copy !req
409. Dear Jess, I have a Google docCopy !req
410. where I jot down ideas for
sketches and comedy bits,Copy !req
411. what have you.Copy !req
412. About a month after you
joined the writing staff,Copy !req
413. I put a pitch in the document that read,Copy !req
414. "God dammit, Jess is stealing my brand!"Copy !req
415. The thesis of the video
would be that you'd come inCopy !req
416. and taken the mantle of
horny, bisexual theater kidCopy !req
417. from me and that everyone
liked you better.Copy !req
418. But I never pitched it because
the more I thought about itCopy !req
419. and thought about you,Copy !req
420. the more I realized that
you and I aren't as similarCopy !req
421. as I first thought.Copy !req
422. What I was experiencing was your abilityCopy !req
423. to make everyone you're with
feel invited and feel seen.Copy !req
424. What my comedy brain initially read as,Copy !req
425. Jess and I have the
same vibe, was in fact,Copy !req
426. a misread of your gift of
making everyone feel welcome,Copy !req
427. exactly as they are.Copy !req
428. What I was experiencing was
your kindness and your grace.Copy !req
429. On behalf of the peopleCopy !req
430. that you've worked with professionally,Copy !req
431. let me say thank you for
bringing that kindness and graceCopy !req
432. and warmth and good humor and empathyCopy !req
433. and just general good
sported-ness to the workplace.Copy !req
434. I think that might be rarer than you know.Copy !req
435. On days when we started
work at five in the morningCopy !req
436. or when we got behind
and had to play catch up,Copy !req
437. or when I was hanging
around in a Napoleon costumeCopy !req
438. with my dick out,Copy !req
439. - God, I'm gonna cry, now.Copy !req
440. - You always, always made
everyone's day easierCopy !req
441. by bringing that vibe.Copy !req
442. It's appreciated by everyone
and it's especially appreciatedCopy !req
443. by horny bisexual theater
kids who don't always feelCopy !req
444. as welcome as they are.Copy !req
445. - Oh my God.Copy !req
446. - You invite everyone in.
What a fantastic brand.Copy !req
447. - Aww!Copy !req
448. - Your pal, Grant.Copy !req
449. - Awwww!
- Yeah!Copy !req
450. - Oh my God, thank you!Copy !req
451. - Thank you!Copy !req
452. - Lovely, lovely moment.Copy !req
453. But that's another point away from Jess.Copy !req
454. Mike Trapp.Copy !req
455. - Oh my God.Copy !req
456. - Jessica Ross, this is your life!Copy !req
457. - I'm overwhelmed, right now!Copy !req
458. - Dear Jess, I've always
admired your courageous honesty.Copy !req
459. You're truthful at the
times when it's hardest,Copy !req
460. the moments when it's
easier to stay silentCopy !req
461. or agree with the group, and
I'm consistently awed by it,Copy !req
462. how you're willing to be vulnerableCopy !req
463. when others are guarded,
earnest when others are cynical,Copy !req
464. empathetic when others are flippant.Copy !req
465. I've watched it change groups.Copy !req
466. It's an openness so
authentic and enthusiasticCopy !req
467. that others have to join you,Copy !req
468. like the crowd following the first dancerCopy !req
469. on the dance floor.Copy !req
470. I always have the feeling
that I'm seeing the real you,Copy !req
471. with no artifice or secrets,Copy !req
472. and I'm glad the person
I see is my friend.Copy !req
473. And I'm sorry I didn't get
to say this at your weddingCopy !req
474. and have to say it at a
game show, behind a paywall.Copy !req
475. - Thank you, Trapp!Copy !req
476. - That's another point away from Jess.Copy !req
477. - Got her.Copy !req
478. - Got her!Copy !req
479. - Got her!
- Got her!Copy !req
480. Jess, you're blowing it.Copy !req
481. - Yeah, Luke and I are doing pretty well.Copy !req
482. - Oh my God.Copy !req
483. - Lily Du.Copy !req
484. - How is this the episode?Copy !req
485. - Okay, this letter is to Rekha?Copy !req
486. - Jess, ever since I moved to LA,Copy !req
487. you have been nothing but
kind and generous to me.Copy !req
488. You have given me countless rides,Copy !req
489. hosted Game of Thrones nights,Copy !req
490. and painted this small
painting of my dog JacuzziCopy !req
491. for absolutely no reason
but out of the kindnessCopy !req
492. of your heart.Copy !req
493. You are genuinely such a
talented writer and performerCopy !req
494. and I can not lie when I say that,Copy !req
495. so I can't say that to
everyone else in this roomCopy !req
496. and I will do everything in my power,Copy !req
497. of which I currently have none,Copy !req
498. to make sure you get to do the
kind of work you want to do.Copy !req
499. I'm not great at heartfelt words,Copy !req
500. so instead, I'm gonna Venmo you $200,Copy !req
501. - Oh my God, please don't!Copy !req
502. - As money is more valuable
than heartfelt words.Copy !req
503. I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
504. - God.Copy !req
505. - I'm gonna make it public.Copy !req
506. - Thank you so much.Copy !req
507. - That's another point towards Jess.Copy !req
508. Katie Marovitch.Copy !req
509. - Uh oh!Copy !req
510. - Here comes trouble!Copy !req
511. - Here comes a rascal!Copy !req
512. - Hello.Copy !req
513. - I've got a lot of grievances.Copy !req
514. - Uh, yeah. Let me ruin this.Copy !req
515. Jess, I wanna start by
saying don't you dare cry,Copy !req
516. and if you are already crying,Copy !req
517. you better stop because Sam's
not gonna give you any prizes!Copy !req
518. Anyway, you are truly a delightful friend.Copy !req
519. Our first time meeting
was six or seven years agoCopy !req
520. when we were put on the same improv team.Copy !req
521. I don't remember much from this time,Copy !req
522. but I do have a vivid-Copy !req
523. I was fuckin' drunk!Copy !req
524. Just kidding, but I do have a vivid memoryCopy !req
525. of getting to your house a
little early for practice,Copy !req
526. one day, right after learningCopy !req
527. that a close childhood friend had died.Copy !req
528. I doubt you even remember this,Copy !req
529. but the way you comforted
me, basically, a stranger,Copy !req
530. made a big impression.Copy !req
531. Years later, you were the
perfect writing partnerCopy !req
532. while we developed, sorry, and
wrote Kingpin Katie together.Copy !req
533. I loved how silly we both got
on that fourth floor office.Copy !req
534. You are kind and generous
and talented beyond belief.Copy !req
535. And absolutely everyone loves
you as soon as they meet you.Copy !req
536. You're the kind of person, sorry,Copy !req
537. who makes me want to be a better friendCopy !req
538. so that people talk about
me the same way they talkCopy !req
539. about you.Copy !req
540. Anyway, I love you and let's
get lunch or something soon.Copy !req
541. - Are you free Tuesday?Copy !req
542. - Sorry to be all business,Copy !req
543. but that's another point away from Jess.Copy !req
544. Well, uh.Copy !req
545. Jess, as it turns out,Copy !req
546. when you give people the opportunity,Copy !req
547. there are lots of folks who'd
like to write you letters.Copy !req
548. - Oh my God.Copy !req
549. - Okay, I'm ready for this.Copy !req
550. - God, let me start over, fuck.Copy !req
551. - Oh my God!Copy !req
552. - Just ask him if you need a body slate.Copy !req
553. - Yeah, if you want a full body slate.Copy !req
554. - Dear Jess.Copy !req
555. - Yo, what up, Jess!Copy !req
556. So grateful that I just
get to share how I feelCopy !req
557. about you and what you've meant
to me over the past years.Copy !req
558. - Jess is cackling laughter,
sweet potatoes, and vegan egg.Copy !req
559. - J is for just the
funniest person possible.Copy !req
560. - You were like a sister to me.Copy !req
561. You're honest, talented, thoughtful.Copy !req
562. - You're talented. You're
funny. You're smart.Copy !req
563. - You're effortlessly funny and talented.Copy !req
564. You are one of the funniest, kindest,Copy !req
565. most supportive people I've ever met.Copy !req
566. So great at everything
you put your mind to,Copy !req
567. and you're so much fun to be around.Copy !req
568. Most of my favorite memories
are from high school,Copy !req
569. and they include you.Copy !req
570. - E is for, everybody feels
happier when you're around.Copy !req
571. - Jess is a fuckin' comedy machine.Copy !req
572. - You are supremely talented
and outrageously funny.Copy !req
573. - You're one of the most
talented comedy writersCopy !req
574. that I've ever had the
pleasure of working with.Copy !req
575. - I knew that you were
the best writer out thereCopy !req
576. and I made it my mission to take you down.Copy !req
577. - And I will read on that script,Copy !req
578. written by Jessica Ross,
I'll get so excitedCopy !req
579. 'cause I know it's
gonna be an amazing ideaCopy !req
580. and I get to act a fool.Copy !req
581. - I continue to be in awe of
your versatility, sheer talent,Copy !req
582. and just, what a beautiful human
being you are to be around.Copy !req
583. - You can take the flimsiest
turd of an idea and turn it,Copy !req
584. seemingly effortlessly,
into something so hilarious.Copy !req
585. - Didn't expect to hear turd in that one.Copy !req
586. - Everyone wrote the same
number of good sketches,Copy !req
587. but you were the only
writer who never wroteCopy !req
588. any bad sketches.Copy !req
589. - Jess is a North star. Without
her, we're a little lost.Copy !req
590. - S is for sweetie pie.Copy !req
591. - We bought tickets to see InterstellarCopy !req
592. in the Arclight Dome.Copy !req
593. Believe it hit us both way
harder than we expectedCopy !req
594. and it makes me wanna
laugh, but at the same time,Copy !req
595. it also makes my eyes swell up.Copy !req
596. - You always make sure that everyoneCopy !req
597. around you is getting
a chance to be heard.Copy !req
598. - I'm so lucky to call you my friend.Copy !req
599. I think she calls me
her friend or asshole.Copy !req
600. - And the other S is for so amazingCopy !req
601. that I feel comfortable
starting a group chant aloneCopy !req
602. in my apartment.Copy !req
603. We love Jess!Copy !req
604. - I really hope you and
Kait never leave LA.Copy !req
605. - Ever.Copy !req
606. We're allowed to leave,
but you guys can't.Copy !req
607. - No, you gotta stay
right here. Mom and Dad.Copy !req
608. - Thank you for all the trips,
the lasagna, the baked goods,Copy !req
609. and help throughout the past seven years.Copy !req
610. - I tell you this all the
time that I'm so happyCopy !req
611. that we're friends.Copy !req
612. - Much love.Copy !req
613. - Got her.
- Got her!Copy !req
614. - Got her!Copy !req
615. - That's another point away from Jess.Copy !req
616. - Does everyone know I've had a hard year?Copy !req
617. I'm not just crazy?Copy !req
618. - Because a normal person
would have remained stone coldCopy !req
619. through all that.Copy !req
620. And now, someone without whomCopy !req
621. this episode wouldn't have
been remotely possible,Copy !req
622. Kait Thompson.Copy !req
623. - You can go ahead and
join Jess at her podium.Copy !req
624. - Awww!Copy !req
625. I know why it's been a hard year,Copy !req
626. but for the benefit of
our viewers at home,Copy !req
627. maybe the two of you could talkCopy !req
628. about why it's been a hard year.Copy !req
629. - Yeah, well, we're supposed
to get married in 2020,Copy !req
630. which of course, couldn't happenCopy !req
631. 'cause of quarantine and everything and.Copy !req
632. - Jess, you had back
surgery very recently.Copy !req
633. - Yeah, I had a herniated disc in my backCopy !req
634. and I couldn't walk for awhile.Copy !req
635. - For like, months. Like, for months.Copy !req
636. For like, almost a
year, she couldn't like,Copy !req
637. walk around the block.Copy !req
638. - When you're like, off
your feet for six months,Copy !req
639. what do you do?Copy !req
640. - Write and-Copy !req
641. - Wrote, watched a lot of TV.Copy !req
642. - We're watching RuPaul's
Drag Race right now.Copy !req
643. - Yes.Copy !req
644. - It's really good, well, right nowCopy !req
645. but like, the whole quarantine, basically.Copy !req
646. - It gives me an idea.Copy !req
647. I would never ask you to have a wedding,Copy !req
648. but just so that you're not rusty,Copy !req
649. what about like, a
little practice wedding?Copy !req
650. Just so like, by the time
you have a wedding, you know,Copy !req
651. you're well-prepared.Copy !req
652. - Okay. (laughs)Copy !req
653. - Bow ties, everyone?Copy !req
654. Kait and Jess, let's put you right hereCopy !req
655. in front of the arch.Copy !req
656. Katie and Rekha and Luke on this side,Copy !req
657. let's put the three of
you on the other side.Copy !req
658. Very nice.Copy !req
659. - You look so cute.Copy !req
660. - You know what I just realized is,Copy !req
661. we're missing an officiant.Copy !req
662. - Oh my God! Oh my God!Copy !req
663. I love you so much! Oh my God!Copy !req
664. - Bob the Drag Queen, everyone!Copy !req
665. - Oh my God, thank you for being here.Copy !req
666. - I was in the neighborhood in full drag.Copy !req
667. - I really do love you.Copy !req
668. I think you're so beautiful and amazing.Copy !req
669. - Oh well, thank you.Copy !req
670. Listen, I've read some really
remarkable things about youCopy !req
671. and I know that you two
have been engaged since 2018Copy !req
672. and I know that 2020 took a
lot away from a lot of people.Copy !req
673. I know that just recently,Copy !req
674. you were able to start walking again,Copy !req
675. taking Poppy on some rides.Copy !req
676. You bring out a lot of
joy and a lot of laughterCopy !req
677. to a lot of people's lives.Copy !req
678. You make a lot of people's lives happy,Copy !req
679. so we're just trying to bring a little bitCopy !req
680. of that back to you, today.Copy !req
681. So, we're just gonna do
a little practice run.Copy !req
682. If you're not all cried out,Copy !req
683. let's see if we can
squeeze some more tears.Copy !req
684. So dearly beloved, the
category is matrimony.Copy !req
685. - Hoo!Copy !req
686. - Oh!Copy !req
687. - Marriage is a wonderful unionCopy !req
688. to show people how much
you love each otherCopy !req
689. and more importantly,
show the person you loveCopy !req
690. and spend a wonderful time with them.Copy !req
691. Kait, please repeat after me.Copy !req
692. I,Copy !req
693. - I,Copy !req
694. - Kait, take you, JessCopy !req
695. - To be my wife.Copy !req
696. - To live together in gorgeous,
fierce, lesbian matrimony.Copy !req
697. - To live together in gorgeous,
fierce, lesbian matrimony!Copy !req
698. - To put you purse first.Copy !req
699. - To put you-Copy !req
700. - I said it!Copy !req
701. - To put you purse first.Copy !req
702. - To keep you in
sickening-ness and in health.Copy !req
703. - Forsaking all others,Copy !req
704. - Unless you're into that sort of thing.Copy !req
705. Say it!Copy !req
706. - Unless you're
into that sort of thing.Copy !req
707. - Jess, please repeat after me.Copy !req
708. I, Jess, take you, KaitCopy !req
709. - I, Jess, take you, KaitCopy !req
710. - To be my wife,Copy !req
711. - To live together in gorgeous,
fierce, lesbian matrimony.Copy !req
712. - To put you purse first.Copy !req
713. - To keep you in
sickening-ness and in health.Copy !req
714. - Forsaking all others,Copy !req
715. - Unless you're into that sort of thing.Copy !req
716. - And by the power invested
in me by CollegeHumor,Copy !req
717. may the best women wed!Copy !req
718. Good luck and don't fuck it up!Copy !req
719. - Thank you!Copy !req
720. - That's the end of our game,Copy !req
721. but we can take another
point away from Jess,Copy !req
722. bringing her to 0.Copy !req
723. The winner of this episode of
Game Changer is clearly Rekha.Copy !req
724. - I don't want this.Copy !req
725. It feels bad to take a
prize for not crying.Copy !req
726. I feel like I gotta do some introspection.Copy !req
727. Just give it to Jess. Give it to Jess.Copy !req
728. Fine.Copy !req
729. Kait and Jess, you win a
National Park honeymoon,Copy !req
730. which we set up for you and paid for.Copy !req
731. - You would've hated that!Copy !req
732. - I would've hated going alone on that!Copy !req
733. - That does it for us,
here, at Game Changer.Copy !req
734. I'm Sam Reich, reminding
you that sometimes,Copy !req
735. laughter is the second best medicine.Copy !req
736. Good night!Copy !req