House of Guinness 1x6

1. Police! Police!

2. I was born on a Dublin street Where the Royal drums did beat

3. The loving English feet They walked all over us

4. And every single night When me da would come home tight...

5. Cochrane, get back here!

6. Fenian bastard! Get down!

7. Come out ye Black and Tans Come out and fight me like a man

8. Show your wife how you won medals Down in Flanders

9. Tell her how the IRA made you run...

10. Move! Out the way!

11. Missus!

12. Miss Cochrane!

13. Miss!

14. Miss Cochrane!

15. Miss Cochrane! Miss!

16. Missus, you've got to come.

17. Those Saxon bastards have taken your brother.

18. They've been picking up Brotherhood boys all over Dublin.

19. - Wait there. - Well, come quick, though!

20. Come out ye Black and Tans Come out and fight me like a man

21. Show your wife how you won medals Down in Flanders

22. Tell her how the IRA Made you run like hell away...

23. Iveagh House, sir.

24. The Fenians have crossed the Canadian border.

25. Ah... News from the colony, sir.

26. An incursion in Dakota, Irishmen and Indians.

27. - You've business with Mr. Guinness? - Urgent business. Good day.

28. Well...

29. I've been given a message to give to Mr. Guinness

30. on behalf of the poor people of Dublin.

31. What is the mood between the brothers?

32. When a matter is trivial, they shout at each other.

33. When it's important, they whisper.

34. But today they are silent,

35. which means this New York business is more serious than serious.

36. Sir Arthur, Master Edward,

37. your legal counsel, Mr. Isaac Butt QC.

38. A gift for Mr. Guinness from a representative of the Dublin poor.

39. Which Mr. Guinness?

40. It is a measure of your joint predicament that it could be for either one of you.

41. If it is a response to election fraud, perjury in the dock,

42. and somehow getting away with it scot-free,

43. then it is for you, Arthur, from the Catholics.

44. If, on the other hand, word has reached Dublin

45. that the Guinness family is giving 15% to the Fenians in New York,

46. funding their attacks on the British with every bottle of Guinness sold,

47. then it is for you, Edward, from the unionists.

48. Since today's business is New York, I will claim it.

49. How kind.

50. Today's business is many things.

51. The government in Whitehall is responding

52. to increased Fenian activity in the colonies,

53. specifically the Fenian incursion into the Dominion of Canada.

54. Funded by the Guinness family, thanks to you, Brother.

55. The British have issued arrest warrants for Fenians

56. all over Dublin.

57. Fenian bastard.

58. But, as you will read in my legal advice,

59. the timing of these arrests may work in your favor.

60. - How on earth— - Ah, ah, ah. Please, Edward.

61. Just allow the genius that saved me from jail to get you off the hook too.

62. Your agent Byron Hedges in New York has done a very dangerous deal.

63. If word gets out, even I won't be able to save you.

64. It would be the final blow to your father's legacy.

65. Yes, I'm told by my contacts...

66. Ooh, your mysterious contacts.

67. that if our licensed agent—

68. No, he's not our agent. He's your fucking agent.

69. - Will you shut up? Let me finish. - No, you shut up!

70. We have a guest. You're behaving like a child!

71. - Every fucking time! - Please, both of you.

72. My sources tell me that if Byron Hedges withdraws his offer

73. from the Fenian Brotherhood in New York,

74. he will be found face down in the Hudson River.

75. The deal will be exposed.

76. And the House of Guinness will come crashing down.

77. Yes.

78. I've given your predicament much thought, and I propose we do a deal.

79. Arrange a more discreet method of payment in exchange for silence.

80. So, somebody trustworthy will need to get a message to the Fenians.

81. I suggest we use the services of your Mr. Rafferty.

82. I tried to contact him but could not locate him

83. the whole of last evening.

84. I wonder if either of you might know where Mr. Rafferty could be.

85. I got a meth lab zoso sticker Rolled up in my pocket

86. Got a 7-inch trigger finger Don't know how to stop it

87. Got a one-way piledriver Nowhere left to use it

88. I'm a Supercharged Freedom Fighter

89. And I'm givin' it all to you

90. Will you not stay for breakfast, Mr. Rafferty?

91. Would you really have me sit down for breakfast

92. with all the maids looking on?

93. Mr. Rafferty, you look so worried that I might someday lose my mind

94. and try to make you official.

95. Rest assured, I have no intention of feeling anything for you,

96. other than with my body.

97. Not ever.

98. No, no.

99. The servants are all awake.

100. For discretion, but mostly for fun,

101. you will exit like a thief in the night.

102. And if I break my fucking neck?

103. I will get another you.

104. Now go.

105. You're fucking insane, you know that?

106. Please excuse the intrusion, but I have an urgent message.

107. We've finished our business. Go on.

108. It was delivered by a street boy hardly able to keep breath

109. from running from the docks.

110. From the docks?

111. It's for you, Master Edward.

112. From a young lady called Ellen Cochrane.

113. Thank you, Potter.

114. I write to inform you of troubling news.

115. This morning, alongside other men from our organization,

116. my brother was taken and imprisoned by police forces.

117. Once again, they persecute men who have done nothing

118. but speak publicly about their beliefs.

119. I know we are on different sides,

120. but I must remind you of the other night,

121. of how our alliance has evolved.

122. I've offered help with the New York situation,

123. and I hope you can do the same with my situation.

124. I trust in your power and goodwill.

125. You know Ellen Cochrane of the Fenian Brotherhood?

126. Edward.

127. Our lawyer asked you a question.

128. My God, your face.

129. Don't talk of God to me, Ellen.

130. Before you waste any words, I know how you spent the night before last.

131. What are you talking about?

132. I have men take shifts outside your lodging

133. to keep you safe from harm.

134. You have what?

135. And my men reported that a man stayed the night.

136. You have no fucking right.

137. And a very particular man it was.

138. What I choose to do in the comfort of my home

139. is none of your fucking business.

140. It is Ireland's business.

141. What we do is the business of our nation.

142. I came here to tell you I will try to get you freed.

143. Another night with your man should do the job, yeah?

144. Hands away!

145. You obviously have no decency,

146. but have you no sense?

147. Rich people in the bedrooms of the poor,

148. sneaking home at dawn,

149. leaving behind empty bottles and babies.

150. He is a kind man.

151. Fuck.

152. Fuck!

153. Yes, a "fuck" is what it was. But more than that...

154. Now you not only appease the rebels, you sleep with them.

155. Please! This sort of selfish surrender of the flesh to temptation,

156. that's my territory, my job, my role in the business.

157. It will not affect the material conduct of the brewery.

158. Two days, and she's sending messages to our door, using you as her turnkey.

159. What other services did you offer in return?

160. Services? She's not a whore, Arthur.

161. - Not like— - Not like who?

162. - Say it. - I didn't mean—

163. You send a clerk you hardly know to New York

164. who does deals with the devil on our behalf, Edward!

165. Then you jump into bed with someone—

166. Simply because that is what we both wanted

167. in that moment!

168. Oh my God.

169. We are brothers after all.

170. I was beginning to think I was the imperfect first attempt,

171. and you were the brother perfected.

172. We talked, and we drank, and... and laughed.

173. I just...

174. And anyway, the birds started singing, and I wanted them to go back to sleep.

175. Oh, Edward, out there in the darkness,

176. beyond the baronial halls, there is laughter all night long.

177. And those birds always sing too soon.

178. I think it's time for you to marry Adelaide.

179. She'll put a stop to all this.

180. Although I must say...

181. to see you love inappropriately,

182. it's like opening a window for fresh air.

183. It is not love.

184. No, but it is wildly inappropriate.

185. Butt said that we need to make our agent in New York

186. part of the wider deal, correct?

187. In order to make connections with the Fenians,

188. we may not now need the services of Mr. Rafferty.

189. Yes, because you've already slept with the enemy.

190. Not the enemy. She trusts me.

191. - I trust her. - Hm.

192. She can help us bridge the gap.

193. Deeper and deeper he falls in love

194. with the green of her Irish eyes and her sweet green Irish heart.

195. - Get off! You're ludicrous! - Edward! Would ya marry me!

196. Lady Adelaide is waiting for you, sir.

197. Deeper and deeper He falls in love

198. I was expecting Edward.

199. Yeah, my brother is busy clearing up a mess of his own making.

200. So I'm afraid you've got me instead.

201. Sorry.

202. No apology necessary.

203. Either of you has the authority to sign off on the consent—

204. I've decided to take more of an active role in the business.

205. It seems that my once-perfect brother

206. now actually needs my help managing his imperfections.

207. And it also seems that our business is no longer just brewing beer.

208. It's housing the people that drink it.

209. - Is that disapproval in your voice? - Oh God, no. No, no.

210. If I disapprove of something, I tear it up, throw it in the fire.

211. You must have heard of my reputation by now.

212. I've heard many things about you... and your brother.

213. Then you'll know...

214. that my brother wants to marry you.

215. The papers on the left are concerning the cost of demolition of existing slums.

216. The papers on the right are regarding the construction of new homes.

217. I think if you and he were to marry... it'd be a splendid thing.

218. A match made in heaven.

219. Where do I sign?

220. You're not even going to look at the accounts?

221. I put no price on God's work.

222. And please.

223. As you call upon us for further signatures,

224. just know that in all the world, my brother has eyes for you,

225. and for you alone.

226. I mean, just... imagine all the good you could do

227. just by saying, "I do."

228. Jesus, fuck!

229. - Good job, Seamus. - Sir. It's Ben, sir.

230. Good job, Ben.

231. - Morning. - Morning, sir.

232. - Excellent work. - Thank you, sir.

233. Good day, sir.

234. Mr. Guinness.

235. Patrick?

236. Patrick.

237. How goes it?

238. Ah, working days suits me better than nights.

239. And the work?

240. Day flies on the mash. Sure, it never stops.

241. I wanted to thank you for the promotion.

242. No. No, no, no, no.

243. It's the least I could do.

244. My nights are free now.

245. Good.

246. Good.

247. Do you know,

248. more people are fine with it than you think.

249. Fine with what?

250. See?

251. World hasn't ended.

252. Brewery didn't burst its barrels. Black beer didn't flow into the Liffey.

253. You don't have to jump all the way down into my world.

254. You could pull me up into your own.

255. You could take me dancing.

256. There, there.

257. You got our expenditure approved.

258. Without a blink of an eye, and it was Arthur who signed the accounts.

259. He said he has decided to get more involved in the business.

260. Oh, God spare us.

261. He said Edward was clearing up a mess of his own making.

262. I'm gone a few days, and the boat begins to rock.

263. I didn't think Edward was the kind of man who made a mess.

264. Edward acts so stern and serious because he is afraid of his own kindness.

265. Arthur acts so frivolous

266. because he's afraid of his own seriousness.

267. All men are boys playing hide-and-seek,

268. desperately hoping someone is still looking for them.

269. You think Edward is kind?

270. And romantic.

271. Terrible dancer. Wishes he was a cowboy

272. in the American West. Am I selling him to you?

273. - I don't want anyone to be sold to me. - Fine.

274. Could you please get me laudanum?

275. In pursuit of our philanthropy

276. and to stop Edward going completely off the rails,

277. I have suggested Edward take a trip to our house in Connacht.

278. I want a voice in his ear

279. telling him what we should be doing to help those poor people.

280. So, you will travel with him

281. and stay with him at Ashford Castle.

282. Our next project must address rural poverty.

283. But, of course, this proposal is not just about sanitation.

284. Of course it is not.

285. While you and Edward are helping the poor, you will fall in love.

286. No need even for Aunt Agnes.

287. Dodo, when it comes to Guinness marriages,

288. there's very little point trying to resist the inevitable.

289. Whatever your feelings...

290. I will need my baby to have some company.

291. Your guest, Mr. Guinness.

292. My suggestion we meet at the churchyard behind your father's grave

293. was perhaps grotesque.

294. But it was a lot more sensible than this. We are very visible.

295. Ah, that's the point.

296. If we had something to hide, we'd be hiding it.

297. You left your keys on my bedside table.

298. Would the lady care for a drink?

299. - Tea. - Champagne.

300. Very good, sir.

301. Look, as a consequence of two good people

302. spending a night together in fear of waking the neighbors,

303. I have had an idea, which I wanted to propose to you.

304. This proposition involves getting my brother out of jail?

305. Certainly, it gets your... your brother out of jail.

306. It gets my New York situation resolved,

307. and it buries a deal that would destroy everything my father created.

308. Our lawyer, Mr. Isaac Butt, has intimate connections

309. with senior government officials in Whitehall.

310. The British would like the Americans

311. to do more to stop Fenian incursions on the Canadian border.

312. In return, the Americans need a... gesture

313. to appease their Irish vote.

314. The British have agreed to free some Fenian prisoners

315. and send them to America as proof of goodwill.

316. In the shipping pages,

317. an American ship docking at Liverpool in two days' time.

318. The SS Cuba.

319. The SS Cuba will take the freed Fenians arrested this morning to New York.

320. And my brother will be one of them.

321. That's what our lawyer can arrange.

322. In return, I need your help convincing your brother to take exile in America,

323. and then he will be given a hero's welcome.

324. - And he can start a new life. - And if he doesn't wanna go?

325. I'm afraid he is an empty barrel on the tide of history.

326. The only other alternative for him is to stay and rot in jail.

327. When we slept together,

328. I thought I would regret it.

329. But I've discovered that I can step out of my comfortable world

330. and break back in again, and be improved by the experience.

331. I'm so glad I could be of service.

332. Sometimes I'm not good at telling whether people are serious or not.

333. You return to your tidy world with your tidy solutions.

334. I'll do your dirty work, for my brother's sake.

335. But you and I will never have the keys to the same door, Mr. Guinness.

336. Are we the ones

337. Left behind?

338. By those who weave...

339. Dear Paddy, when you are given this letter,

340. you will already be aboard a ship bound for New York.

341. In New York, you will be the conduit through which money can flow

342. from the Guinness Brewery to the battalions.

343. I know this is against your will,

344. but I'm trying to save your life.

345. Trust me.

346. Your liberation and exile are part of a bigger plan.

347. A plan that helps our cause.

348. I know you'll burn this letter, but my heart burns with love for you.

349. Your devoted sister, Ellen.

350. Stood in line...

351. We are the ones

352. Left behind

353. Are you Cochrane?

354. - Yeah. - Off the SS Cuba?

355. Yeah.

356. Here, comrades! Behold!

357. Paddy Cochrane, one of the Cuba Five just landed from Liverpool!

358. Give me that.

359. Oh, fuck whiskey, Murphy. Give him Guinness.

360. To celebrate the arrival of a hero of the revolution,

361. all Guinness is on me.

362. Come on, you.

363. Be careful.

364. Paddy Cochrane, as I live and breathe.

365. A legend, this man is.

366. To Patrick.

367. Welcome, my friend.

368. Champagne... is not a drink

369. the men of my class will drink.

370. On board that rotten ship,

371. I was told that once I had made my way through the welcoming crowds

372. that I was to come to this bar to meet the relevant people.

373. Are you the relevant people?

374. 'Cause to me, you don't look relevant.

375. Well, if you are still trying to fight for the cause of Irish freedom,

376. now that you are in America,

377. well, then... we are the relevant people.

378. Mmm.

379. This guy here...

380. swiggin' his fuckin' Guinness?

381. I think he's the guy that I was told about.

382. I can't wait to hear what you were told about me.

383. Oh, I think you fuckin' can.

384. You know, we fetched champagne and had the place full

385. because we thought you'd be happy to be free, but

386. you've got an awful lot of the fucking fog of Ireland about you.

387. The deal for my freedom was done above and around me.

388. And above and around you, the deal will continue to unfold.

389. You should have a bullet in your head.

390. You're the man!

391. You're the man who made promises to the Brotherhood

392. that you could not keep.

393. And your head was saved by the fucking Guinnesses.

394. You have no time for the Guinnesses?

395. I've never asked for anything

396. of anyone by that name.

397. - I hear your sister's a different matter. - You fucking bastard!

398. You bastard!

399. - Sit down. - Sit.

400. Like it or not, Mr. Cochrane,

401. you owe them your freedom.

402. I would rather

403. be still rotting

404. in that cell

405. than be beholden to that fucking family.

406. "That fucking family"

407. would like to offer you a job, Mr. Cochrane...

408. as an honorary representative of Guinness Company Limited

409. in New York and Boston.

410. Why the fuck would I help sell beer for those Protestant bastards?

411. Uh, you wouldn't actually have to sell anything, Mr. Cochrane.

412. Guinness will pay you anyway.

413. Huh...

414. We will pay you handsomely.

415. Absurdly, even.

416. And then you might, as a private individual,

417. wish to give some of that absurd amount of money to certain organizations.

418. And there would be no official connection to the Guinnesses.

419. With this arrangement in place,

420. our beer can continue to be approved by the Brotherhood

421. without anything being said or written down,

422. because,

423. as Edward Guinness said to me in his last letter,

424. it's the public perception

425. that causes the consternation.

426. Fuck you.

427. Your presence here in New York...

428. is part of a much wider arrangement.

429. So you either play your part...

430. or face the consequences.

431. Cheeky bastard

432. Never seen a man Knock back Black Russians

433. Wouldn't say he thinks About the repercussions

434. Couple of sips Quick lick of the lips

435. And he's piping up Piping up

436. Hussy, sing us a song Sing us a song, will ya?

437. He won't stop singing Champagne Supernova

438. May I show you to your rooms, madam?

439. Goodness. They've press-ganged Potter. Nothing is being left to chance, is it?

440. I've prepared rooms in the west. Mr. Edward is in the east.

441. And the fire burning in the middle, I would imagine.

442. My only recollection of Edward from family weddings is that as a boy,

443. he was rather fond of his own reflection.

444. Now, as the second-richest man in Ireland,

445. he can afford all the mirrors he wants.

446. Can I get you ice, madam?

447. You have ice?

448. Brought by ship from Greenland.

449. But as I understand it, the village has no water.

450. There is a stream, madam.

451. I'm actually fine. Thank you.

452. Let me see.

453. Good. Have it decanted, please.

454. The Lady Adelaide is impressed, but she's hiding it,

455. as aristocrats always do.

456. I can't remember if she drinks wine or if she doesn't approve of alcohol.

457. After the fuck-up with Benjamin asking her to dance at the wedding,

458. she swigged back quite a large gin and Indian tonic,

459. but... in fairness, that might have been down to the stress

460. of having her toes trodden on—

461. Begging pardon, Mr. Potter, to let you know, the Lady has gone.

462. - Gone? - What do you mean, "gone"?

463. I mean she set off walking,

464. and when the maid asked her where she was going, she said...

465. she said she was walking to Cloonboo.

466. Cloonboo?

467. You don't go to Cloonboo without four horses pulling you

468. and a musket in your lap. Eejit!

469. In Cloonboo,

470. it's cholera... or America.

471. Shh!

472. Jesus.

473. You know him?

474. Did you bring blankets? Did you bring food?

475. - Stop. - Did you bring ice, perhaps?

476. People here with fevers would have a use for your ice from Greenland.

477. It wouldn't melt on the way.

478. It's only a mile from your grand house to all of this.

479. We never come here.

480. No, I can see that.

481. Since the famine, Adelaide, it's not safe.

482. So you came riding to my rescue on horses better fed than these people.

483. In this place, you hear your own grave being dug.

484. What are you doing?

485. Trying to impress me now?

486. Go back to the house. Fetch some ice.

487. It's not really ice they need. I was just making a point.

488. The food. The food they are preparing for us.

489. And blankets. Pull some blankets off the bed.

490. Go! I gave you an order.

491. Fill a hay wagon with ice, food, and blankets.

492. - I'm sorry. - Why would you be sorry? He's not yours.

493. Is he?

494. Gentlemen, please.

495. Sit down for a while.

496. It would be my pleasure.

497. Edward, you have made your point, and not in a very convincing way.

498. I don't care about making a point.

499. I care about digging a grave for men too weak to dig it themselves.

500. This isn't for them, though, is it? It's simply to impress me.

501. I am not trying to impress you.

502. Adelaide, you should know there is a woman. I've slept with her.

503. I left my keys beside her bed, and she unlocked something in me.

504. I'm a cold fish,

505. I think.

506. But something...

507. something has moved in me,

508. and I wouldn't say that it is love or anything like that,

509. but I have come to see things in a different way because of her.

510. Who is she?

511. She has a lodging on the fifth floor at the docks

512. where the smoke from my malthouses turns her washing gray.

513. Had you not thought about buying her a nice cottage in the bay?

514. I understand that is the procedure for Guinness mistresses.

515. She would not accept.

516. Come.

517. Oh!

518. We used to come here to watch the sunset.

519. I had a maid who told me when I was a boy

520. that the sun was actually falling into the water

521. and being extinguished.

522. I believed her.

523. I'm trying

524. to build a bridge across the divides.

525. I was told that the brewery was your only obsession.

526. I suppose if the brewery wants to conquer America,

527. it really wouldn't do to be seen supporting only the union.

528. I don't mean to be cynical.

529. I have found that the people who are most cynical in this world

530. are the ones with the least experience of it.

531. - You think I'm sheltered? - A grand shelter you've lived in.

532. And now I peer out and shake my head with disapproval.

533. Passes the time quicker than tea dances, I suppose.

534. Such a relief you're not looking for a wife.

535. And that you are not looking for a husband.

536. I'll see you after.

537. Hello.

538. You asked to see me?

539. Tonight at, uh... nine o'clock.

540. This address.

541. There is a dance.

542. Right.

543. Well, I'll wear my Sunday suit, then.

544. You can wear your Sunday suit...

545. but there will be no hymns, no prayers.

546. Good.

547. Good job.

548. - Sir. - Keep up the good work.

549. Tonight.

550. Nine o'clock. He says it's a dance.

551. So there'll be a lot of them.

552. A fine catch. Good.

553. Police will arrive just after 10:00. When they arrive, they will let you go.

554. I will give them your name, and you will give them a code word.

555. The code word is "retribution."

556. It's not just for the money you're doing this.

557. Come here.

558. If you don't help me expose his dirty secret, I will expose yours.

559. Your father will be shamed, and 20 years in jail will be waiting for you.

560. Did you tell her about the other woman?

561. Yes, I did.

562. Do you have to know everything, Potter?

563. Did it work, do you think?

564. What do you mean, "Did it work"?

565. People only want things if they think they can't have them.

566. Potter, spare me your wisdom and come and finish this tie, would you?

567. Fuck.

568. I bet it worked.

569. To honesty.

570. To being surprised by honesty.

571. - Bordeaux? - Yes.

572. Yes, Margaux 1844.

573. I chose it 'cause that's the year of your birth.

574. Yes, I am rather old to be a spinster, aren't I?

575. Everyone tells me.

576. No, I... I wasn't making a point.

577. Actually, this wine is rather wonderful.

578. Yes, the year of your birth must have been very... sunny and warm.

579. And I am neither of those things, correct?

580. I think neither of us is very good at talking

581. when there's no particular thing to talk about.

582. Potatoes and eel gravy, sir.

583. Thank you.

584. I thought you might appreciate the gesture.

585. What kind of gesture? Are you mocking me?

586. No! I'm not trying to mock you, no.

587. Look, no matter what our name may be...

588. you and I, we're no different to the people living one mile away from us.

589. A self-righteous man

590. A lawmaker

591. Deals justice with

592. The back of a hand

593. A self-loathing man

594. An indicator

595. Whoo!

596. A masculine container

597. A self-righteous man

598. A lawmaker

599. Deals justice with

600. The back of a hand

601. Huh...

602. A self-righteous man

603. A lawmaker

604. Deals justice with

605. The back of a hand

606. A lawmaker

607. A lawmaker

608. A lawmaker...

609. When you came into my life I was lost

610. And you took that shine to me

611. At what cost?

612. You recognized the smell

613. Human pain

614. Said I'd learn to love the chain

615. It was

616. Shit, shit, shit

617. Battered, I caved in

618. My promise was clattered

619. Amazing stars from the drink

620. I made a promise, and I killed it

621. Shit, shit, shit

622. Battered, I live meretricious

623. You shattered

624. Amazing stars from the dreamin'

625. I made a promise

626. Shit, battered

627. I caved in

628. My promise was clattered

629. Amazing stars from the drink

630. I made a promise, and I killed it

631. Shit, shit, shit

632. Battered, a whole life meritricious

633. You shattered

634. Amazing stars from the dreamin'

635. I made a promise, I will kill it

636. Shit, shit, shit

637. Battered, I caved in

638. My promise was clattered

639. Amazing stars from the drink

640. I made a promise—