1. A ha ha ha!Copy !req
2. There, add a card to representCopy !req
3. the overworked
educational system.Copy !req
4. Now, add the dead
weight of students like you.Copy !req
5. So, you can see, children,Copy !req
6. that our whole
society is nothing moreCopy !req
7. than a perilous
house of cards...Copy !req
8. Destined to collapse
under its own weight.Copy !req
9. Dib, the warranty on
your desk has run out.Copy !req
10. Get a replacement from the pile.Copy !req
11. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
12. Well, children, as you know,Copy !req
13. the desk budget for
this year has run out.Copy !req
14. But the school board is giving
you a chance to lessen your misery.Copy !req
15. Lights!Copy !req
16. Word up, kids!Copy !req
17. This is Poop Dawg, the
Poop Cola gangsta clownCopy !req
18. with a little fundraiser.Copy !req
19. Do you wanna go
magnet with the moneys?Copy !req
20. Yay!Copy !req
21. What does it mean?Copy !req
22. Hmm?Copy !req
23. Then jack this box
of Poop Cola Candy.Copy !req
24. It's the great
taste of Poop ColaCopy !req
25. wrapped in a layer
of chocolate badness.Copy !req
26. Ooh!Copy !req
27. Every bar you sell earns
money for your school.Copy !req
28. But what's in it for you?Copy !req
29. Prizes, prizes, prizi-zes!Copy !req
30. Hmm?Copy !req
31. Sell 100 bars
and you'll win a...Copy !req
32. Adhesive medical strips.Copy !req
33. Sell 1000, you
win a crash helmet.Copy !req
34. Sell 10,000, you win
an electro scooter.Copy !req
35. And 500,000, you
get a hovercraft,Copy !req
36. Plus a helmet,Copy !req
37. plus a box of...Copy !req
38. Adhesive medical strips.Copy !req
39. Yay! Wow! Ooh!Copy !req
40. Garbage! That hovercraft
is a joke of engineeringCopy !req
41. and that helmet would never
protect your brain from lasers.Copy !req
42. And if you all think youz all
somethin' wit the top selliesCopy !req
43. and wit...Copy !req
44. I can't do this.Copy !req
45. Cut!Copy !req
46. The top prize is somethingCopy !req
47. your b-b-brain won't believe!Copy !req
48. Nonsense.Copy !req
49. It's so amazing, it's a secret.Copy !req
50. Secret!Copy !req
51. What are you hiding, dog man?Copy !req
52. Tell me! Tell me!Copy !req
53. Good luck, my
fellow Poop slices.Copy !req
54. Candy made entirely of sawdust.Copy !req
55. A secret. Yes, of course.Copy !req
56. But what could it be?Copy !req
57. What? What?Copy !req
58. I must possess the secret prize!Copy !req
59. Miss Bitters, why don't
they take the moneyCopy !req
60. they spent on candy and prizesCopy !req
61. and use it to buy desks?Copy !req
62. That answer wasn't in the video.Copy !req
63. Eek! Fundraising...Copy !req
64. children!Copy !req
65. Woo hoo!Copy !req
66. then that horrible
man-dog hybridCopy !req
67. taunted us by not
revealing the secret prize.Copy !req
68. It must be something of
unimaginable power, GIR.Copy !req
69. Hey, Zim! I sold a whole
box at my dad's lab.Copy !req
70. Beat that.Copy !req
71. So, you're trying to beat
me to the prize, is that it?Copy !req
72. Just more proof of
its strategic value.Copy !req
73. The only reason I'm
selling this dirt in a wrapperCopy !req
74. is to watch you fail at
something else, Zim.Copy !req
75. Heh heh heh.Copy !req
76. Ah! Heh heh heh.Copy !req
77. Heh heh heh.Copy !req
78. I can sell these
horrible candies better...Copy !req
79. Than any human. Just watch.Copy !req
80. Why is his head so big?Copy !req
81. Why is his head so big?Copy !req
82. Just follow my lead.Copy !req
83. Please, ma'am, if you
don't buy my candyCopy !req
84. my little brother
will go insane!Copy !req
85. Aaahhh! Good heavens!Copy !req
86. He's worse than I thought!Copy !req
87. Please, of course
I'll buy some candy.Copy !req
88. Mmm!Copy !req
89. Mm-hmm, that's the sawdust.Copy !req
90. Hmm. She only bought
one of these horrible things.Copy !req
91. You'll just have
to try harder, GIR.Copy !req
92. Aahh...!Copy !req
93. Hmm. Ooh!Copy !req
94. Aahh...!Copy !req
95. I don't understand.Copy !req
96. Today has been
a horrible failure.Copy !req
97. GIR, don't eat that filth!Copy !req
98. It is the key to the
mystery of the prize.Copy !req
99. The mystery of the priiiize.Copy !req
100. This miserable Earth sun.Copy !req
101. Even Zeerus Minor didn't
orbit such a horrible star...Copy !req
102. So hot!Copy !req
103. Zim.Copy !req
104. Zim!Copy !req
105. I have come for you.Copy !req
106. Heh? What is this?Copy !req
107. Who are you?Copy !req
108. I am...Copy !req
109. Who are you?Copy !req
110. - I...
- Who are you?Copy !req
111. I am Poop Dawg, the gangsta
spectre of defeat, in effect.Copy !req
112. And you will never win
the mystery prize, fool.Copy !req
113. Bwahahaha!Copy !req
114. What is this
miraculous prize thing?Copy !req
115. I ain't tellin', yo.Copy !req
116. Eh... eh...Copy !req
117. Does it defy the laws
of time and space?Copy !req
118. Can it alter the minds
of sentient beings?Copy !req
119. Is it the key to
controlling all mankind?Copy !req
120. The prize will
never be yours, Zim!Copy !req
121. So say the gangsta
spectre of defeat!Copy !req
122. I will not give up... Poop Dawg!Copy !req
123. Never!Copy !req
124. Ho ho ho ho ho!Copy !req
125. Yo.Copy !req
126. Ah ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
127. Ugghh!Copy !req
128. Uggh!Copy !req
129. Jeez, Zim, I haven't even
done anything to you yet.Copy !req
130. Get out of here,
gangsta of defeat!Copy !req
131. Begone with you.Copy !req
132. Man, Zim, defeat's
made you crazy.Copy !req
133. Of course, that has
been my mistake all along.Copy !req
134. I've been trying to sell
like a miserable human.Copy !req
135. GIR!Copy !req
136. Yes, my lord!Copy !req
137. I will use inferior human
"fund-raising" techniques no longer.Copy !req
138. Now watch as I unleash the
full power of Irken persuasion.Copy !req
139. Yay! I'm gonna be sick!Copy !req
140. Human residents!Copy !req
141. I have come selling candy!Copy !req
142. Huh?Copy !req
143. I am selling candy
for your local school.Copy !req
144. And you will buy some.Copy !req
145. Uh... we don't want any
of your government candy!Copy !req
146. We don't want none of
your government candy!Copy !req
147. Yes, you do.Copy !req
148. Now... see a world in which you
do not buy my delicious treats!Copy !req
149. All that you know
and love lies in ruins!Copy !req
150. It's— It's horrible!Copy !req
151. I just wanted a
school desk of my own.Copy !req
152. Aaahh!Copy !req
153. Bwains.Copy !req
154. This horrible tragedy
can be prevented if...Copy !req
155. And only if...Copy !req
156. You surrender your money
to me and buy my candy!Copy !req
157. Pwease?Copy !req
158. For the childwen.Copy !req
159. We'll buy your candy!Copy !req
160. We'll buy your candy!Copy !req
161. We'll buy your candy!Copy !req
162. We'll buy your candy!Copy !req
163. We'll buy your candy!Copy !req
164. We'll buy it!
We'll buy your candy!Copy !req
165. Just stop this horrifying
future from ever happening!Copy !req
166. Yes! Witness my victory...Copy !req
167. Poop-beast!Copy !req
168. Ah ha ha ha ha ha...!Copy !req
169. Children, your
performance was miserable.Copy !req
170. Your parents will all
receive phone callsCopy !req
171. instructing them to
love you less now.Copy !req
172. Ooohhh!Copy !req
173. But, in a shocking
display of school spirit,Copy !req
174. Dib has come in first by
selling 100 candy bars.Copy !req
175. Congratulations. You win a...Copy !req
176. Adhesive medical strips.Copy !req
177. First place! Take
that, space boy!Copy !req
178. Hey, where's Zim?Copy !req
179. Uuugggh!Copy !req
180. Ah! Ah! Hehh!Copy !req
181. Nnmmmm!Copy !req
182. I am here, Dib-worm,Copy !req
183. and I have sold over 1.2
million revolting candy units!Copy !req
184. I am prepared to receive
the power of the mystery prize.Copy !req
185. Give to Zim!Copy !req
186. Well, this has never
happened before.Copy !req
187. Zim, your prize is...Copy !req
188. Your prize is...Copy !req
189. Nothing.Copy !req
190. There is no mystery prize.Copy !req
191. They just made it up to make
kids work harder for no money.Copy !req
192. Heh?Copy !req
193. As a consolation...
Here's some tuna.Copy !req
194. Curse you, Poop Dawg!Copy !req
195. Curse yooooou!Copy !req
196. Haw haw haw haw haw...!Copy !req
197. Aarrghh! My intestines!Copy !req
198. Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
199. Hey, man. It's been 4
weeks since you rentedCopy !req
200. Intestines of War.Copy !req
201. It's 20 days overdue!Copy !req
202. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
203. Who is it?Copy !req
204. I gonna watch it again.Copy !req
205. I gonna watch it again!Copy !req
206. This is the 100th time, GIR!Copy !req
207. You have to stop
watching this thing or...Copy !req
208. Oh! What is that?Copy !req
209. A warning. Oh, no! Oh, noooo!Copy !req
210. F-B-I?Copy !req
211. Who is this FBI?Copy !req
212. What are they trying
to warn us about?Copy !req
213. Shhhh!Copy !req
214. Ahhhh!Copy !req
215. Return that movie!Copy !req
216. You got any of them taquitos?Copy !req
217. Computer, give me all
the information you haveCopy !req
218. on the FBI.Copy !req
219. The FBI is a government
law enforcement agency.Copy !req
220. Continue.Copy !req
221. Insufficient data.Copy !req
222. Insufficient data?Copy !req
223. Can't you just make
an educated guess?Copy !req
224. Okaaay.Copy !req
225. Uh...Copy !req
226. Founded in 1492 by, uh...Copy !req
227. demons... the FBI is a
crack law enforcement agencyCopy !req
228. designed to ehh...Copy !req
229. I dunno... fight aliens?Copy !req
230. I knew it! This is bad...Copy !req
231. This is so bad.Copy !req
232. GIR! That movie is some kind ofCopy !req
233. government spying tool!Copy !req
234. Quickly, eat it!Copy !req
235. Hello?Copy !req
236. Hello. Hello.Copy !req
237. Good. OK.Copy !req
238. Hello? How may I help you today?Copy !req
239. I'm through playing around!Copy !req
240. You better return
that video or else!Copy !req
241. This is your final warning!Copy !req
242. I'm sorry, I do not knowCopy !req
243. what you are talking about.Copy !req
244. I am normal.Copy !req
245. If that thing isn't
in the drop off boxCopy !req
246. by the time we open tomorrow,Copy !req
247. you're gonna paaayyy...Copy !req
248. late fees.Copy !req
249. I wanna rent this one!Copy !req
250. Why? So you can keep
it for weeks and weeksCopy !req
251. and not return it?Copy !req
252. What about all the other
people who want to watch it?Copy !req
253. You ever think about them?Copy !req
254. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
255. Waaaahhh!Copy !req
256. That was them.Copy !req
257. I have to return this thing now.Copy !req
258. No! I'm still watching it.Copy !req
259. I wanna see what happens.Copy !req
260. I need it!Copy !req
261. Whyyyyeeee!Copy !req
262. Waaaahhhh...!Copy !req
263. They've locked
down their fortress...Copy !req
264. With locks!Copy !req
265. OK, nothing I can't handle.Copy !req
266. I'm returning this stupid movieCopy !req
267. no matter how hard
they try to keep me out.Copy !req
268. Rest easy, various
retail outlets.Copy !req
269. Sergeant Slab Rankle
is on the job.Copy !req
270. Sleep tight, Deelishus Weenie.Copy !req
271. Your seedy buns will
go unharmed this night.Copy !req
272. Ah, the Video Outhouse.Copy !req
273. Slumber well, sweet
Video Outhouse,Copy !req
274. with your video treasures
nestled deep withinCopy !req
275. your vulnerable belly.
Slab's on the job.Copy !req
276. What's this?Copy !req
277. Let's see... Video Outhouse,
Video Outhouse.Copy !req
278. Fourth floor, D405...Copy !req
279. Ah! They know I'm here!Copy !req
280. The mall is closed!Copy !req
281. You are in direct violation
of code 4 slash 72.Copy !req
282. Prepare to face my wrath!Copy !req
283. Who are you?Copy !req
284. Sergeant Slab Rankle.Copy !req
285. Serial number F305769,Copy !req
286. and you are in direct violation.Copy !req
287. I violate nothing!Copy !req
288. I've come to return
this video discCopy !req
289. and there is nothing that your
precious FBI can do to stop me.Copy !req
290. The FBI?Copy !req
291. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
292. Nothing but amateurs.Copy !req
293. No, my friend, I'm
afraid you're tangling withCopy !req
294. someone far worse than the FBI.Copy !req
295. You've just crossed...
mall security.Copy !req
296. Security? You're
not the FBI? Huh?Copy !req
297. I worried for nothing.Copy !req
298. This is just a
typical Earth store.Copy !req
299. I've let my fears
get the best of me.Copy !req
300. Heh heh heh.Copy !req
301. I'm very funny.Copy !req
302. Aaahhh!Copy !req
303. The game begins.Copy !req
304. There!Copy !req
305. Simple.Copy !req
306. This little stink man
will not get in my way.Copy !req
307. Ooh!Copy !req
308. Ah!Copy !req
309. Release me!Copy !req
310. Release me or suffer
the wrath of Zim!Copy !req
311. We meet at last,
young trespasser.Copy !req
312. Quiet! There'll be time
for you to grovel later.Copy !req
313. Tell me something...Copy !req
314. Do you understand the
concept of business hours?Copy !req
315. Do you? Well, do you!Copy !req
316. We have rules for a reason, boy!Copy !req
317. Without them,
there is only chaos.Copy !req
318. And chaos is... oogh...Copy !req
319. I don't even
want to think of it.Copy !req
320. Could you just drop that
disc in the slot behind youCopy !req
321. and let me go with a warning?Copy !req
322. I'm afraid not.Copy !req
323. This is evidence.Copy !req
324. And as for letting you go... no!Copy !req
325. Good job, Slab Rankle.Copy !req
326. Your country commends you.Copy !req
327. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
328. Aaaahhhh!Copy !req
329. Ugh!Copy !req
330. Whoa! Oh, man!Copy !req
331. An alien! An alien!Copy !req
332. Uhh!Copy !req
333. False alarm.Copy !req
334. Rankle got you, too, huh?Copy !req
335. Welcome to our
little club... of doom!Copy !req
336. Who are you people?Copy !req
337. We've all got our
reasons for being here.Copy !req
338. Shoplifting, loitering, singing.Copy !req
339. I said I was sorry.Copy !req
340. What can I do?Copy !req
341. I got the music in my soul!Copy !req
342. He caught me
sleeping during my shift.Copy !req
343. When you break the rules,Copy !req
344. Rankle sends you here.Copy !req
345. Every couple of days,Copy !req
346. he takes someone away.Copy !req
347. They never come back.Copy !req
348. Some say he just lets them go.Copy !req
349. Me? I say he takes
them and turns themCopy !req
350. into horrible zombie soldiersCopy !req
351. in that new zombie labCopy !req
352. they just put in out back.Copy !req
353. But I don't want to
be a zombie soldier.Copy !req
354. Has anyone ever escaped?Copy !req
355. The only guy who ever escaped...Copy !req
356. Never made it out.Copy !req
357. Heh?Copy !req
358. Mmmyep.Copy !req
359. There is hope!Copy !req
360. With the proper guidance,
anything is possibleCopy !req
361. and I'm telling you right now,Copy !req
362. you can get out of this cell!Copy !req
363. If you only believe
that you can,Copy !req
364. then you can! Trust me!Copy !req
365. Rise, my fellow prisoners!Copy !req
366. Rise up and use
your revolting limbsCopy !req
367. to escape this prison.Copy !req
368. That's it! Yes, climb
on top of each otherCopy !req
369. and form a stairway.Copy !req
370. A stairway of hope
and cooperation.Copy !req
371. It's time to run free through
your hideous streets once more!Copy !req
372. If we work together,Copy !req
373. we can get out of here!
Who's with me?Copy !req
374. And don't worry
Lemonade on a Stick stand.Copy !req
375. Your brave protector,
Slab RankleCopy !req
376. will remain ever vigilant.Copy !req
377. We're doing it! We're doing it!Copy !req
378. Yes! Onward to freedom!Copy !req
379. You see what can be accomplishedCopy !req
380. if you just work together?Copy !req
381. Hello?Copy !req
382. Hello?Copy !req
383. Hey, over here!Copy !req
384. Do not fear, Lard House.Copy !req
385. I'll keep your many
enemies at bay.Copy !req
386. And you...Copy !req
387. What?Copy !req
388. It's not that easy, my friend.Copy !req
389. Slab Rankle is not that easyCopy !req
390. to pull one over and
defeat Slab, and...Copy !req
391. Rankle and-and Slab and...Copy !req
392. Time for the zombies!Copy !req
393. Zombies?Copy !req
394. Nothing can stop Zim! Nothing!Copy !req
395. Not even this filthy
army of zombies.Copy !req
396. Look out.Copy !req
397. Wait! Stop!Copy !req
398. It appears I have met my match.Copy !req
399. You have bested
my zombie soldiersCopy !req
400. and are a worthy opponent.Copy !req
401. You have my congratulations,Copy !req
402. nay, you have my admiration.Copy !req
403. Huh?Copy !req
404. Don't you see?Copy !req
405. If the two of us
combined forces,Copy !req
406. nothing could stop us!Copy !req
407. Join me. Together...Copy !req
408. we will rule the mall!Copy !req
409. Eh... no. That's ok.Copy !req
410. I guess it's my lonely dutyCopy !req
411. to stand guard.Copy !req
412. Sleep tight, sweet mall.Copy !req
413. Everything's ok.Copy !req
414. I'm here, baby.Copy !req
415. I'm here.Copy !req