1. [ Men] Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!Copy !req
2. Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
Hey!Copy !req
3. Burn! Burn! Burn! Yeah. Cool.
What are you guys burning?Copy !req
4. Bunch of garbage
that's just taking up space.Copy !req
5. No, goddamn it! Wait. Frank, why are
you burning our photo album pictures?Copy !req
6. What do you mean?
Because it's trash.Copy !req
7. You kidding me?
Oh, my God.Copy !req
8. Dude, these are all the pictures
from our Jersey Shore vacations.Copy !req
9. You were gonna burn these?
Yeah.Copy !req
10. These were like
the happiest days of our lives.Copy !req
11. Oh, come on.
Jersey Shore sucked.Copy !req
12. The Shore didn't suck, Frank.
You sucked, okay?Copy !req
13. You just complained the whole time
and ruined it for everyone else.Copy !req
14. Yeah, because I had to do all the work.
I never got to relax.Copy !req
15. I would love to go
on a vacation.Copy !req
16. Oh, my God. Me too.
I would love to go on a vacation.Copy !req
17. Yeah, but not
to the Jersey Shore though.Copy !req
18. That place sounds
like a nightmare.Copy !req
19. - What's wrong with the Jersey Shore?
- You've seen that TV show.Copy !req
20. It's just a bunch
of sweaty guidos...Copy !req
21. getting hopped up on energy drinks
and giving each other diseases.Copy !req
22. The Jersey Shore
is nothing like that.Copy !req
23. It's a magical place
where people swim in the ocean...Copy !req
24. and they get to ride on fun rides
and they get to have their first kiss.Copy !req
25. - Dude, you would love it. - Well, hang
on a second. I've never seen the ocean.Copy !req
26. L- I could get into that if you guys
wanna go down to the Shore.Copy !req
27. _ I:
" Yes! IS 1 AW- yes!Copy !req
28. - We should all go to the Shore together.
- I'll tell you what.Copy !req
29. Maybe I'll knock myself out
and we'll head down to the Shore.Copy !req
30. Yeah, but I feel like you're just gonna screw
it up if you try and knock yourself out.Copy !req
31. You're probably gonna oome to halfway there
and then complain the rest of the time.Copy !req
32. I'll tell you what.
Why don't I take the rag?Copy !req
33. I'll get the chloroform. I'll
get you when you leastexpeotfl.Copy !req
34. All right, sweet.
Yeah?Copy !req
35. Yeah! Going down
to the Jersey Shore!Copy !req
36. Yeah, going to
the Shore, baby!Copy !req
37. Now, this ocean- explain it to me.
It goes on forever?Copy !req
38. [ Grunts ]
[ Mutters ]Copy !req
39. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
[Grunts]Copy !req
40. So I woke up, like,
halfway there,Copy !req
41. and then you just
snuffed me out again, huh, Mac?Copy !req
42. Oh, this place turned
into a major shithole.Copy !req
43. It does not look exactly the
way I remember it looking.Copy !req
44. [ Dee ] No, it's different.
it's different.Copy !req
45. The guy at the front desk said there was a
meth lab explosion, so the hotel burned down.Copy !req
46. They had to rebuild it.
Something like that.Copy !req
47. - There's a smell too, like-
- Don't sweat it, you guys.Copy !req
48. With any luck at all, we won't
be spending any time here,Copy !req
49. Yes! so just think of
it more like a locker.Copy !req
50. I'm sorry. ls no one gonna
talk about Dee's hair?Copy !req
51. I was waiting to pounce. I just
didn't know what our cue was.Copy !req
52. I was waiting for Dennis
to jump on top of it.Copy !req
53. And then we were gonna slay her.
Yeah.Copy !req
54. No, no. it's fine. All the cool girls
get their hair braided at the Shore.Copy !req
55. I think she looks like Bo Derek.
Thank you, Dennis.Copy !req
56. Mm-hmm. Dee and I have some very
fond memories of the Shore.Copy !req
57. We're not gonna have you
sullying those great memories...Copy !req
58. with all your goddamn insults.
Mm-mmm.Copy !req
59. Are you
drinking sunscreen?Copy !req
60. No, no. it's a decoy. We're drinking
tequila out of sunscreen bottles.Copy !req
61. Very strict open container laws
here at the Jersey Shore.Copy !req
62. Cheers.Copy !req
63. Holy shit!Copy !req
64. Is that the ocean? [ Dee ] Yep.Copy !req
65. Yeah, buddy,
that's the ocean.Copy !req
66. What's on the other side
of it there?Copy !req
67. Europe.
Yeah.Copy !req
68. How long would it take-Copy !req
69. No. Do not try and
swim to Europe.Copy !req
70. Don't swim to Europe.
[ Frank] Do not.Copy !req
71. Why don't you stick
with Dee and I...Copy !req
72. because we can show you the
ropes here at the Jersey Shore.Copy !req
73. All right, everybody,
you know what time it is!Copy !req
74. Let's go strut
the beach.Copy !req
75. Not struttin' shit.
No beach struttin' for me.Copy !req
76. I'm gonna find a place
to relax and unwind.Copy !req
77. - [ Mac] Frank, I'm with you.
- [ Frank] Yeah.Copy !req
78. Grab us some booze. I'll go down to the
beach and get us some prime real estate...Copy !req
79. before those gorilla
dickheads get down there.Copy !req
80. Yeah.
[All Laughing]Copy !req
81. Gonna relax. Let's do it!
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
82. [ Dee ] Oh, man, this ocean
breeze feels so good on my scalp.Copy !req
83. Yeah, it feels awesome.
The sand feels good beneath my feet.Copy !req
84. Uh-huh.
I'm a little curious...Copy !req
85. as to where all the people are though.
No idea. No idea.Copy !req
86. Didn't want to say anything. Didn't want to
ruin the mood, but where are the people?Copy !req
87. I'm seeing a lot more dogs
than people, right?Copy !req
88. [ Dennis ]
There are a shit ton of dogs out here.Copy !req
89. Where are their masters? I don't
think these clogs have masters.Copy !req
90. I think these dogs
play by their own rules.Copy !req
91. Well, clearly, the action
has shifted elsewhere.Copy !req
92. Wanna go to the boardwalk? Hey,
let's go to the boardwalk!Copy !req
93. Yes!
Yeah!Copy !req
94. Hey, Charlie!
Charlie!Copy !req
95. Come here!
[Laughs]Copy !req
96. Dude! Oh, my God!
This place is amazing!Copy !req
97. Right?
Yeah!Copy !req
98. And the sunblock drink?
Nice, guys.Copy !req
99. They're really good. They're really good.
Thing is, I didn't make you one.Copy !req
100. Oh!
Ah.Copy !req
101. Jesus Christ, Charlie.
You're drinking sunblock.Copy !req
102. It's good. It gets you- It
gets you all- [ Groaning ]Copy !req
103. Yeah, you're ingesting viscous
chemicals, and they're getting you high.Copy !req
104. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.Copy !req
105. We're going to the boardwalk.
What do you say? Oh, really?Copy !req
106. You wanna leave?
Yeah.Copy !req
107. I feel like we're just scratching the
surface of all the cool shit out here.Copy !req
108. What cool shit?Copy !req
109. Well, the sea specimens,
the stray dogs,Copy !req
110. the trash that floated
over from Europe.Copy !req
111. Yeah, but we didn't come here to
play with stray dogs and trash, man.Copy !req
112. We came here
to soak up the culture.Copy !req
113. And the boardwalk is the cultural center
of the Jersey Shore, so let's go there.Copy !req
114. Come on, man!
Yeah, all right.Copy !req
115. Going
to the boardwalk.Copy !req
116. Yo, Mac,Copy !req
117. you see that sign there
that says “Toxic Spill”?Copy !req
118. Yeah.
What's that?Copy !req
119. Disregard that, Frank.
It's a bunch of liberal bullshit.Copy !req
120. Right. Right. This is a nice spot.
Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
121. Whoa! What's that? You were
supposed to get booze.Copy !req
122. Oh, this is ham
soaked in rum.Copy !req
123. It is loaded with booze.Copy !req
124. Goddamn it, Frank, eating your drinks?
That is genius!Copy !req
125. Ow! [Laughs] What?Copy !req
126. What the-Copy !req
127. What the- What is that?Copy !req
128. Oh, yeah.
I got stuck with a needle.Copy !req
129. Yeah, that's a syringe. Be careful.
They are everywhere.Copy !req
130. The beach is full of syringes.
Why is that?Copy !req
131. Well, we're in the steroid
capital of the world, Frank.Copy !req
132. To be honest with you,
as a man who works very hard...Copy !req
133. to maintain a certain level of physical
excellence, I find shortcuts insulting.Copy !req
134. Now give me a piece of ham now.
[Chuckles]Copy !req
135. Hey, check that out. What-Copy !req
136. What the hell's a dog doing here?
Hey, get out of here!Copy !req
137. Get out of here!
Get out of here!Copy !req
138. Goddamn dogs.
I'm telling you, dude.Copy !req
139. The were lurking before.
Now they're swarming.Copy !req
140. I'm not sharing my ham
with no dogs.Copy !req
141. I got a great idea.Copy !req
142. Hey, warm sun,
cool ocean breezes,Copy !req
143. getting ripshit on ham.
[Laughs]Copy !req
144. Might you say
we're getting “hammered”?Copy !req
145. Oh! Nice one.
[Laughs]Copy !req
146. This was a great idea, Frank.
Great idea.Copy !req
147. This is 90-proof ham.Copy !req
148. Screw you, mutts!Copy !req
149. [ Barking ]Copy !req
150. Get out of here, you bitch!
Come and get it.Copy !req
151. Stupid dogs. We outsmarted
those dogs, Frank. [Laughs]Copy !req
152. - Dude, this is the boardwalk, man.
- Yeah!Copy !req
153. This is amazing.Copy !req
154. It's a little bit more desolate
than I was hoping it would be.Copy !req
155. Yeah, but that's okay.
It's still really great.Copy !req
156. Charlie, there's all kinds
of rides and games...Copy !req
157. and opportunities
to win stuffed toys.Copy !req
158. Yeah, man, the boardwalk
is a blast, man.Copy !req
159. But it is under the boardwalk
where the action really happens.Copy !req
160. Trust me, pal.
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
161. Yeah.
Oh, what's down there?Copy !req
162. Oh, Charlie, come on.Copy !req
163. So under the boardwalk's where
it's at, huh? Yeah, man.Copy !req
164. This is gonna knock
your socks off.Copy !req
165. You never know who you're gonna run
into, what they're gonna be doing.Copy !req
166. You love the bridge, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
167. This is a lot like being under
the bridge, I would think.Copy !req
168. It's way better than that.
Yeah?Copy !req
169. Under the boardwalk
is a magical place, man.Copy !req
170. I have a special place in my heart
'cause I had my first kiss down here.Copy !req
171. Mm-hmm.
Did you?Copy !req
172. Dude, all kinds of romantic
shit happens- [ Gasps ]Copy !req
173. [ Charlie ]
Oh, God! Oh, God!Copy !req
174. [All Yelling]Copy !req
175. Oh, no! No! No!Copy !req
176. No!
No! What was that?Copy !req
177. Two homeless guys banging each other.
I saw.Copy !req
178. But why? That's not magical.
That's not romantic.Copy !req
179. That's your idea
of romantic? No!Copy !req
180. There are other kinds of
romances that happen under here.Copy !req
181. I don't wanna see
anything else like that.Copy !req
182. You know what? I'm out of here.
'Cause you guys are perverted.Copy !req
183. You get out of here.
You get out of here, Charlie.Copy !req
184. Son of a bitch.
Aw!Copy !req
185. [Groans]Copy !req
186. Where's the beach?
Frank, wake up!Copy !req
187. What? What's the matter?
Where's the beach?Copy !req
188. Uh- Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
189. We're in the middle
of the goddamn ocean!Copy !req
190. Yes, we are.
[ Laughing ]Copy !req
191. What are we gonna do? Well, we're
gonna conk out for a while...Copy !req
192. and let the current
gently roll us back to shore.Copy !req
193. Frank, the current is what brought
us out here in the first place.Copy !req
194. If anything, we should be paddling
against it to get back to the beach.Copy !req
195. I'm gonna pretend
like I didn't hear that.Copy !req
196. Frank- Frank, we are no longer in relaxing
mode. We are now in survival mode.Copy !req
197. Will you stop being so dramatic?Copy !req
198. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.Copy !req
199. Where's the rum ham?Copy !req
200. Wha-
Where's the rum-Copy !req
201. - Ah!
~ [Yelling]Copy !req
202. Rum ham!Copy !req
203. No, Frank. Stay in the boat.
Rum ham!Copy !req
204. Frank, stay in the boat!
Oh, rum ham!Copy !req
205. I'm sorry, rum ham.Copy !req
206. Oh, rum ham.Copy !req
207. - Yeah, this is gonna be great, right?
- Of course it is.Copy !req
208. Nothing like some good, innocent,
wholesome, above-the-boardwalk fun...Copy !req
209. to, uh, get us back on track.
Yes.Copy !req
210. Take a step back from the situation,
get a clearer perspective.Copy !req
211. And then we'll plummet 2O stories and
the rush will propel us forward...Copy !req
212. into an awesome evening.
Yeah.Copy !req
213. And hopefully cleanse us of the horrifying
events that we've just witnessed.Copy !req
214. These beads are really
digging into my back.Copy !req
215. [Groans]
Wind-Copy !req
216. I don't know if we should
have come back here.Copy !req
217. I think we made a mistake, because
we have so many memories-Copy !req
218. Oh, no. ls my hair stuck?Copy !req
219. Yeah.
It feels like it's- Yeah?Copy !req
220. Oh, yeah.
Well, get it.Copy !req
221. Get it out, because we're
about to drop. No.Copy !req
222. Get it!
Stick your hand-Copy !req
223. You think I'm gonna stick my
fingers into the machinery?Copy !req
224. [ Shrieks ]
Hey! Hey, you down there!Copy !req
225. Do not make it go, because my hair is
stuck, and something terrible will happen!Copy !req
226. Oh, that's really in there.
Oh, you idiot, stop the ride!Copy !req
227. Don't fall!Copy !req
228. [Voice Slows Down ]
Don't make it fall!Copy !req
229. [Yelling]Copy !req
230. [Screaming ]Copy !req
231. [ Screaming, Yelling ]Copy !req
232. Ow!Copy !req
233. Hey.Copy !req
234. How you holding up, Sis? Uh,
not well, Dennis. Not well.Copy !req
235. Do you have any idea
how horrifying it was...Copy !req
236. to ride that back up
to get my hair?Copy !req
237. Yeah, well, be thankful
you got it back.Copy !req
238. I just wanna get my scalp sewn back on
and get the hell out of this miserable town.Copy !req
239. I'm starting to wonder what the hell we ever
saw in this place, you know what I mean'?Copy !req
240. I mean, look at this girl.
What's her story?Copy !req
241. She's got a decent
bone structure.Copy !req
242. She was probably very pretty
when she was young. Yeah.Copy !req
243. Probably spent her summers here, lounging
on the beach and scooping ice cream.Copy !req
244. But she didn't want her summers to end, so she
got herself a fake I.D. and a push-up bra...Copy !req
245. and started hanging out
at the local bars. Right.Copy !req
246. Developed
a nasty coke habit,Copy !req
247. 'cause she loved the way
it made her feel. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
248. But then extreme highs
gave way to extreme lows...Copy !req
249. and she fell
into a depression.Copy !req
250. Had herself a kid. Thought it would
give her a sense of purpose.Copy !req
251. And it did, for a while, till she
started using again. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
252. And then Social Services
came knocking at the door,Copy !req
253. and now the kid lives upstate
with his grandparents,Copy !req
254. 'cause she can't
take care of this kid.Copy !req
255. And here she is festering away
in a one-bedroom apartment...Copy !req
256. waiting for the H.I.V. to
turn into AIDS... Ooh!Copy !req
257. And wondering
what the hell-Copy !req
258. You know I can hear you, right?
Oh, sorry.Copy !req
259. We were just using you as
a metaphor though. Yeah.Copy !req
260. We didn't mean
anything personal.Copy !req
261. Don't sweat it.
You're not that far off.Copy !req
262. Hey.Copy !req
263. Hey:Copy !req
264. - [ Dennis ] Jesus, are you seeing this?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
265. God, even the doctors in
this town are drug dealers.Copy !req
266. Oh, hey. What are you doing?
[Snarling ]Copy !req
267. Who are you? Where did you come from?
Get out of here. Drop it.Copy !req
268. No. Goddamn it!
Goddamn you!Copy !req
269. [Whimpering]Copy !req
270. I hate this town, Dennis!
I hate this town!Copy !req
271. Cbkay, okay, all right. Well, calm down.
it's understandable.Copy !req
272. You are missing a piece
of your scalp. Yeah.Copy !req
273. Sounds like you two
could use a break.Copy !req
274. Wanna come party
with me and my friends?Copy !req
275. Yeah. Yes.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
276. [ Panting ]Copy !req
277. I'm so thirsty. Well, gargle
some more water, bitch.Copy !req
278. I've been gargling.
Well, don't snap at me.Copy !req
279. Well, quit acting so bossy.Copy !req
280. Okay, you know what?
We can't fight, all right?Copy !req
281. We're both very cranky. We haven't
eaten in a very long time.Copy !req
282. I'm starving.Copy !req
283. Okay, all right, look,
maybe I'll dive down there.Copy !req
284. Hlspearatuna. I'll wrestle him
on board and we'll feast.Copy !req
285. Boom. Let's eat.
All right.Copy !req
286. Give me the knife.Copy !req
287. I can't give you the knife.
What? Why not?Copy !req
288. 'Cause there may come a time
when difficult decisions must be made,Copy !req
289. and I'd rather be
the one with the knife.Copy !req
290. What difficult decisions?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
291. You know, like things
you do to stay alive.Copy !req
292. Are you talking about killing
and eating me, Frank?Copy !req
293. All I'm saying is that when you go into
survival mode, it's every man for himself.Copy !req
294. You seem like you're
in survival mode right now.Copy !req
295. Maybe I am.
Maybe I ain't, rum ham.Copy !req
296. Did you just call me rum ham?Copy !req
297. Frank- Frank,
we cannot be talking...Copy !req
298. about killing and eating
each other already, okay?Copy !req
299. Tell that to the rum ham. Stop
talking about the goddamn rum ham!Copy !req
300. It should have been you!
No! Oh!Copy !req
301. It should have been you!
Jesus! Oh, no!Copy !req
302. [Air hissing]
Uh-oh.Copy !req
303. You see
what you've done?Copy !req
304. You've murdered us both,
you son of a bitch!Copy !req
305. [Engine Whirring]
Oh, shit! What's that?Copy !req
306. It's a boat!
it's a boat!Copy !req
307. We're saved!
[ Laughing ]Copy !req
308. Is that an Italian flag?Copy !req
309. Oh, it's the guidos!
y,» [ Techno ]Copy !req
310. Guidos!
Hey!Copy !req
311. We're here!
Over here!Copy !req
312. Oh!
Ah!Copy !req
313. Oh!Copy !req
314. Way!
Charlie?Copy !req
315. Hey!Copy !req
316. Oh, my God. What are
you doing down here?Copy !req
317. Did you follow me all the way
to the Jersey Shore?Copy !req
318. No. No, I swear.Copy !req
319. I'm just down here with-
But that's cool.Copy !req
320. Can you believe we're-
That's like destiny!Copy !req
321. What-
What's in your hand?Copy !req
322. Something stupid I found.
No big deal.Copy !req
323. Can I see it?Copy !req
324. Yeah.Copy !req
325. Wow.Copy !req
326. That's really beautiful.Copy !req
327. I'll tell you what. I mean-Copy !req
328. I think that's a pretty rare one,
but you can keep it if you want.Copy !req
329. Thanks, Charlie.Copy !req
330. Sure.
[Laughs]Copy !req
331. So, you gonna insult me and walk
away, or what's going on here?Copy !req
332. No. I, um- I don't-
I don't know, you know.Copy !req
333. I love the beach so much,
and it's so beautiful.Copy !req
334. I could probably just
hang out here for a little while.Copy !req
335. Cool.Copy !req
336. Just don't go
under the boardwalk.Copy !req
337. Okay.Copy !req
338. Guys, this is Dennis and Dee. I told
them they could roll with us tonight.Copy !req
339. [Dennis]
Yeah. Uh, hi.Copy !req
340. We're looking forward to
partying with you all tonight.Copy !req
341. Does Bobby know about this? Don't worry.
They're cool.Copy !req
342. Yeah. So, uh, what are we
getting into tonight, you guys?Copy !req
343. Yeah!Copy !req
344. Just waiting for Bobby.Copy !req
345. Then we're gonna hit
the liquor store.Copy !req
346. All right, cool. Yeah, well, you
can't have a party without liquor.Copy !req
347. That's right. So yeah. Let's
hit the liquor store.Copy !req
348. [ Gasps ]Copy !req
349. [ Chuckles ]Copy !req
350. Who the hell
are these two?Copy !req
351. Well, you're Bobby,
lguess.Copy !req
352. Uh, we are just
new acquaintances...Copy !req
353. of your friend Stephanie
over here.Copy !req
354. Harmless people.Copy !req
355. You guys cool?Copy !req
356. Yeah. Well, I hate
to toot my own horn,Copy !req
357. but I am pretty cool, Bobby.
[ Laughing ]Copy !req
358. Hit that.
Yeah.Copy !req
359. And I can tell by the way you're staring at
me that you're wondering if I'm cool too.Copy !req
360. I'm just gonna go ahead and nip
that in the bud right now, so-Copy !req
361. Ooh.Copy !req
362. Ooh.
Oh, shit.Copy !req
363. [ Coughs 1Copy !req
364. That does not taste like weed.
it burns a lot.Copy !req
365. It's angel dust.Copy !req
366. Angel-Copy !req
367. Dust.Copy !req
368. Embrace the night.Copy !req
369. J)!' [ '8OS Pop]Copy !req
370. What's over there?Copy !req
371. [ Woman]
J' Can't seem to get my mind off of you J'Copy !req
372. [Laughing]Copy !req
373. J' Back here at home there's nothin' to do ,/~Copy !req
374. [All ]
Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!Copy !req
375. Are you guys ready to get it?
Let's get some beer!Copy !req
376. [ Bobby ] Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! No!Copy !req
377. Yeah!Copy !req
378. ,r I wish I 'd stayed J'Copy !req
379. Wha- Wha- What's happening?
What's happening?Copy !req
380. Y That you won't be in J'Copy !req
381. y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'Copy !req
382. y Vacation
Had to get away J'Copy !req
383. y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J'Copy !req
384. Hi.
[Laughs]Copy !req
385. [ Gunshots ]Copy !req
386. Y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'Copy !req
387. [All Yelling]Copy !req
388. [ Bobby ] Drive! Drive now!
You, drive!Copy !req
389. Drive! Drive! Drive!Copy !req
390. [ Whistling, Cheering ]Copy !req
391. Thanks, man. Thanks, bro.Copy !req
392. [ Muffled Screaming ] Hurry up.
Hurry up!Copy !req
393. Hurry UP!Copy !req
394. - Oh, my God!
- Stop crying!Copy !req
395. Pick him up!
Pick him up!Copy !req
396. Go get him!Copy !req
397. Y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'Copy !req
398. y Vacation
Had to get away J'Copy !req
399. Rum ham!Copy !req
400. Y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J'Copy !req
401. y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'Copy !req
402. y Vacation
Had to get away J'Copy !req
403. Dig! Come on! Dig!
Dig! Hurry up!Copy !req
404. Dig! Shut up! Shut up and dig!
Come on!Copy !req
405. Y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'Copy !req
406. [ Man ]
Shoot 'em!Copy !req
407. Y Vacation
Had to get away J'Copy !req
408. y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J'Copy !req
409. y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'Copy !req
410. [ Fireworks Exploding ]Copy !req
411. Y Vacation
Had to get away J'Copy !req
412. y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J')Copy !req
413. [Groans]Copy !req
414. Oh, my God! Charlie!Copy !req
415. Hey. What a night.
[ Chuckles ]Copy !req
416. What the-Copy !req
417. Did you rape me last night?Copy !req
418. What? No.Copy !req
419. Gross. No!
Then-Copy !req
420. Okay, why am I waking up next
to you on a deserted beach?Copy !req
421. 'Cause we fell asleep here last night.
What's going on with you?Copy !req
422. Oh, my God.Copy !req
423. I was- I was on ecstasy
last night, Charlie.Copy !req
424. You have to tell me
everything that happened.Copy !req
425. Oh!Copy !req
426. Boy, you're really off
the wagon, huh?Copy !req
427. Drinking, drugs-
Oh, my God.Copy !req
428. Well, it was a cool night.Copy !req
429. We laughed.
We collected sea specimens.Copy !req
430. We drank some ocean. You got a
little sick from drinking the ocean.Copy !req
431. I loved it though. That sounds
really weird and gross.Copy !req
432. Oh, really?Copy !req
433. Well, I suppose now you think
this is weird and gross.Copy !req
434. Oh, my God, Charlie!
Come on!Copy !req
435. What?Copy !req
436. Hang on a second.
Where you going?Copy !req
437. Uh, let's see.Copy !req
438. Last night I lived out
one of my actual nightmares.Copy !req
439. So I'm gonna go
and take a shower.Copy !req
440. Well, hang on-
hang on a second.Copy !req
441. I suppose you
want this back.Copy !req
442. What is that?Copy !req
443. That's a jewel you gave me.
You said you wanted me to have it.Copy !req
444. Charlie, that's a piece
of a broken glass bottle.Copy !req
445. All right. Well, maybe I'll see you
Friday or something.Copy !req
446. No!Copy !req
447. Okay.Copy !req
448. Hmm.Copy !req
449. I guess that's just summer love.Copy !req
450. Crazy.Copy !req
451. Bro, our night was way more amazing.
And it actually happened.Copy !req
452. What do you mean, it actually happened?
Why do you keep saying that?Copy !req
453. No! You don't think I spent
the night with the waitress?Copy !req
454. Then where'd I get this, dude?
Where'd I get that?Copy !req
455. I assume you got it out of the trash, or
dug it out of a storm drain somewhere.Copy !req
456. - I don't believe you're not-
- [ Mac] Here they come.Copy !req
457. Okay. All right.Copy !req
458. Everyone, get in the car! [
Dee ] Let's go. Let's go.Copy !req
459. Let's go!
Get in the car!Copy !req
460. Guys, you will not believe
the night we had.Copy !req
461. I don't care.
There is no meaning to life anymore.Copy !req
462. It takes a classy man to admit when
he was wrong. And I was wrong.Copy !req
463. I love the Jersey Shore.
[ Dee ] Oh, you love it?Copy !req
464. Oh, you love it so much here? Get in
the goddamn oar, you fat, fat ass!Copy !req
465. - Fat, fat ass!
- We hung out with these Jersey dudes.Copy !req
466. They're the shits.
Aw, man, they talk awesome.Copy !req
467. I don't know why these guys
get such a bad rap. Yeah.Copy !req
468. - They're pretty cool.
- Let me tell you something, Mac.Copy !req
469. There are far worse people at the Jersey
Shore than the cast of the Jersey Shore.Copy !req
470. It's a horrible town. it's a horrible
town filled with horrible people.Copy !req
471. I don't know about that.
I think it's a magical town.Copy !req
472. Hell, yeah.Copy !req
473. Beautiful, magical town.Copy !req
474. JJ' [ '60s Soul]Copy !req
475. [ Man ]
J' Oh, when the sun beats down J'Copy !req
476. ,1' And burns the tar up on the roof J'Copy !req
477. y And your shoes get so hot;Copy !req
478. ,1' You wish your tired feet were fireproof J'Copy !req
479. y Under the boardwalk J'Copy !req
480. ,r Down by the sea, yeah ,1'Copy !req
481. ,1' On a blanket with my baby;Copy !req
482. J' Is where I 'II be ,1'Copy !req
483. y; [ Male Backup Singers Vocal/Zing ]Copy !req
484. ,r Under the boardwalk J;Copy !req
485. [ Voices Speaking Backwards]Copy !req
486. English - US - PSDHCopy !req