1. - How many
people does it take to runCopy !req
2. a small seaside hotel
and restaurant?Copy !req
3. I've never seen so many
fucking managers,Copy !req
4. supervisors, head
receptionists, and sous chefs.Copy !req
5. I'm absolutely gobsmacked.Copy !req
6. In this week's Nightmares,Copy !req
7. I check into a real life
Fawlty Towers to find out.Copy !req
8. Thank you.Copy !req
9. God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.Copy !req
10. - I can't physically taste
everything within the kitchenCopy !req
11. or I'll end up like a big air
balloon, I would have thought.Copy !req
12. - I've spoken to the
restaurant manager.Copy !req
13. - Yes.
- And I've spoken to the foodCopy !req
14. and beverage manager.
- Yes,Copy !req
15. now you're speaking to me.
- And now I'm talkingCopy !req
16. to the general manager.Copy !req
17. Fucking wake up, will you, yeah?Copy !req
18. Wake up!Copy !req
19. The Sandgate Hotel is
perched on a gorgeousCopy !req
20. stretch of the Kent coast.Copy !req
21. It's 24 miles from France,Copy !req
22. but a million miles from being
a good hotel and restaurant.Copy !req
23. The Sandgate Hotel.Copy !req
24. What a great spot.Copy !req
25. It's got 15 rooms and a coveted
AA rosette for it's food,Copy !req
26. and I'm checking in.Copy !req
27. First test of any hotel
is the reception,Copy !req
28. always a great sign of
how it's run.Copy !req
29. Hello.Copy !req
30. Thank you.Copy !req
31. Sorry, are you, you
on the phone?Copy !req
32. - Yeah, it's urgent.Copy !req
33. - It's urgent?
- No.Copy !req
34. I'll tell him that
I'm going now.Copy !req
35. - Tell him there's a customer.
- Sorry.Copy !req
36. I'll see you on Tuesday.Copy !req
37. Yeah, bye-bye now.Copy !req
38. You're in room number four.Copy !req
39. - Thank you.Copy !req
40. Three years ago, Lois
and Peter Hamilton SladeCopy !req
41. pooled their life savings
and bought the Sandgate.Copy !req
42. At the moment, this place is
losing around two grand a week,Copy !req
43. so Peter has had to
keep his engineering jobCopy !req
44. while Lois runs the hotel
and restaurant.Copy !req
45. You've obviously run
restaurants before.Copy !req
46. - No.Copy !req
47. - Never?
- Never have.Copy !req
48. - Or small guesthouses, then?Copy !req
49. - No.Copy !req
50. - Never?
- Never.Copy !req
51. This is our first, first effort.Copy !req
52. - This is the restaurant.Copy !req
53. Oh, it's very small, isn't it?
- Yes.Copy !req
54. - It's very small.Copy !req
55. Lois has gone from selling
perfume at Gatwick AirportCopy !req
56. to managing this small
boutique hotel by the sea.Copy !req
57. And the food comes up
through the stairs?Copy !req
58. - No, it comes through here.Copy !req
59. - Okay.
- Dumbwaiter.Copy !req
60. - Yeah.
- Dumbwaiter.Copy !req
61. A husband and wife team running
a hotel and a dumbwaiter.Copy !req
62. Hazoo.Copy !req
63. Fucking hell, all the
food comes out of there?Copy !req
64. - Yeah, to the kitchen.Copy !req
65. Restaurant to the kitchen.Copy !req
66. - That must be a nightmare, no?Copy !req
67. - It seems to work very well.
- Does it?Copy !req
68. - Yeah.Copy !req
69. - Extraordinary,
it's not just one restaurant.Copy !req
70. There's also a terrace barbecue,
a bar,Copy !req
71. and Kent's first Japanese
restaurant in the basement.Copy !req
72. It's a strange mix,Copy !req
73. but they do have one thing
in common, no customers.Copy !req
74. How long can it survive?Copy !req
75. - If we don't have a
very good summer,Copy !req
76. oh I don't think we'll
get through the winter.Copy !req
77. - And if the shit hits the
fan and it doesn't take placeCopy !req
78. and we have a crap
summer, what do you lose?Copy !req
79. - Probably quarter of a million.Copy !req
80. - Sometimes we've had commentsCopy !req
81. that the food is inconsistent.Copy !req
82. I think that is a lot of the
case when Stuart's not here.Copy !req
83. - And Stuart's the?
- Head chef.Copy !req
84. - Head chef.Copy !req
85. The Japanese chef,
where's he from?Copy !req
86. - It's the same chef, Stuart.Copy !req
87. - It's the same one.
- The same chef.Copy !req
88. - We haven't got a
Japanese chef.Copy !req
89. - But you've got a
Japanese restaurant.Copy !req
90. - Yes.Copy !req
91. - Hello, there.
- How are you?Copy !req
92. - Very well, thanks.
- And?Copy !req
93. - Stuart.
- Stuart.Copy !req
94. 38 from Northumberland, he's
been here for six months.Copy !req
95. It's his first head chef's job.Copy !req
96. But since he's got here,
he's started hearing voices.Copy !req
97. What's that?Copy !req
98. - Yeah.Copy !req
99. Right, coming up.Copy !req
100. - Thank you, guys.Copy !req
101. - It's like my little
system of communication.Copy !req
102. - Is it like that all night?Copy !req
103. - Yeah.Copy !req
104. - How do you
concentrate with that?Copy !req
105. - I try and ignore it as
much as possible.Copy !req
106. - Fucking hell.Copy !req
107. Does it not drive you
around the bend?Copy !req
108. - Yeah.Copy !req
109. - Is that order for table nine?Copy !req
110. - Table eight.
- Oh.Copy !req
111. - Hello?
- Wait, nine.Copy !req
112. - Yeah?
- Hello?Copy !req
113. - Can you fuck off and
do some work?Copy !req
114. Four restaurants, 168
dishes, and one kitchen.Copy !req
115. Time to taste the food.Copy !req
116. Okay, thank you.Copy !req
117. And there are the,Copy !req
118. the specials.
- The specials?Copy !req
119. Yes, that's the a la carte.
- And the a la carte?Copy !req
120. - Can I have a look at the
Japanese menu, as well, please?Copy !req
121. Of course you can.
- Thank you.Copy !req
122. Four in tonight, Saturday
night, for dinner.Copy !req
123. - Sorry, just to let you know,Copy !req
124. we don't actually serve
Japanese in this restaurant.Copy !req
125. Just to let you know.
- Right.Copy !req
126. And so I'll go downstairs
for my starterCopy !req
127. and then come back here
for my main course.Copy !req
128. - I need to see the food
and beverage manager,Copy !req
129. see what I can do for you.Copy !req
130. - Food and beverage manager?
- Yes.Copy !req
131. - Dear oh dear.Copy !req
132. I mean, what a way of
pissing customers off.Copy !req
133. Are you the food and
beverage manager?Copy !req
134. - Yeah.
- And sorry, first name?Copy !req
135. - Kevin.
- Kevin.Copy !req
136. So you really want me
to go downstairsCopy !req
137. and have my sushi there?Copy !req
138. - That's what I've been
told by the general manager.Copy !req
139. - And who's that?
- That's Kirsti.Copy !req
140. - Kirsti.Copy !req
141. Let me have a word with Kirsti.Copy !req
142. - Yeah.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
143. Fuck me.Copy !req
144. It's extraordinary.Copy !req
145. I've spoken to the
restaurant manager.Copy !req
146. - Yes.
- I've spoken to the foodCopy !req
147. and beverage manager.
- Yes,Copy !req
148. and now you're speaking to me.
- And now I'm talkingCopy !req
149. to the general manager.Copy !req
150. Have you ever watched
Fawlty Towers?Copy !req
151. - Yes.
- Yeah.Copy !req
152. - Hi, tell them
Japanese starters.Copy !req
153. - We've got three
managers, two waitresses,Copy !req
154. but only four customers.Copy !req
155. The numbers just don't add up.Copy !req
156. The rice is hard.Copy !req
157. What a cock up.Copy !req
158. But it's not the only one.Copy !req
159. Next, chicken from the a
la carte menu.Copy !req
160. Thank you.Copy !req
161. God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.Copy !req
162. It's enough to make
your eyes water.Copy !req
163. Excuse me, waitress,
I'm missing my bollocks.Copy !req
164. - The potatoes
are just coming.Copy !req
165. It doesn't taste of chicken.Copy !req
166. It tastes of tomato.Copy !req
167. It's like sun dried
tomatoes running through it,Copy !req
168. but they're so, so strong.Copy !req
169. Not for me.Copy !req
170. The maki rolls, who made them?Copy !req
171. - I did.Copy !req
172. - And how old are you?Copy !req
173. - 18.
- 18.Copy !req
174. - So you don't taste everythingCopy !req
175. that this 18 year old cook.Copy !req
176. - I can't physically taste
everything within the kitchen,Copy !req
177. or I'll end up like a, a
big air balloon,Copy !req
178. I would have thought.Copy !req
179. I like the.
(all laughing)Copy !req
180. I like, I like to obviously
taste as much as I can.Copy !req
181. - A head chef
who doesn't taste his foodCopy !req
182. is asking for trouble.Copy !req
183. I've never seen anyone
cut it before.Copy !req
184. It's the only way to maintain
control and keep up standards.Copy !req
185. Plenty of time.Copy !req
186. - I think that the rice
is underdone.Copy !req
187. - Thank you.Copy !req
188. That's all, it's really
important for you and ICopy !req
189. to obviously stay on the level.Copy !req
190. - Like I say, you can
see I'm not Japanese.Copy !req
191. - You're kidding.
- I'm not tryingCopy !req
192. to dig a hole and try and escapeCopy !req
193. for your sushi, that was,
I've still got in my teeth.Copy !req
194. - Stuart doesn't want
to cook Japanese food.Copy !req
195. The people of Sandgate don't
want to eat Japanese food.Copy !req
196. So why in the hell have they
got a Japanese restaurant?Copy !req
197. This place doesn't know
what it's doing,Copy !req
198. and that's clearly down
to one thing,Copy !req
199. bad management.Copy !req
200. Lois has got more
managers than the Ritz.Copy !req
201. But I can't work out
who's running this place,Copy !req
202. and I've got a sneaky feeling
no one else can, either.Copy !req
203. The business is in
danger of closing.Copy !req
204. I don't think you actually
know how dire the situation is.Copy !req
205. The amount of management
and the amount of staffCopy !req
206. in such a small place, I've
never seen it in my entire life.Copy !req
207. You know that?Copy !req
208. I've never been so
confused with supervisorsCopy !req
209. and managers and head
receptionists.Copy !req
210. You're running this hotelCopy !req
211. like a 350 bedroom
five star deluxe.Copy !req
212. And the most important
worry is no oneCopy !req
213. seems to be controlling it.Copy !req
214. I've come up with an exerciseCopy !req
215. to try and find out who
is in charge.Copy !req
216. Drop this stone in the
bucket of the personCopy !req
217. you think is in control
of the Sandgate Hotel.Copy !req
218. - The whole organisation?Copy !req
219. - The whole
organisation.Copy !req
220. Oh dear, he's gone past all
the managers, and ignored Lois.Copy !req
221. Okay.Copy !req
222. Next, Luca, the
restaurant manager.Copy !req
223. Surely he must know.Copy !req
224. He's just picked the
head receptionist.Copy !req
225. Next up is Kevin, the
food and beverage manager.Copy !req
226. - Have more stones?Copy !req
227. - Can you
have more stones?Copy !req
228. - Yes, everybody should be
running it, that's the point.Copy !req
229. - Everybody should
be running it?Copy !req
230. - Yeah, it
should be run as a group.Copy !req
231. - That's what I'm trying
to get through now.Copy !req
232. That's the problem.Copy !req
233. Everybody is running it, and
there's no one controlling it.Copy !req
234. Okay.
- A voice from the top.Copy !req
235. - Yeah.
- Thank you.Copy !req
236. And you hit the nail
on the head.Copy !req
237. That's what's exactly
fucking happening.Copy !req
238. Everybody's trying to run it,Copy !req
239. and they're not doing
their own jobs.Copy !req
240. So, interesting.Copy !req
241. We're all here now and
there's five of youCopy !req
242. that have got stones in
your buckets.Copy !req
243. So, already there's a
conflicting message.Copy !req
244. If this business is to survive,Copy !req
245. Lois need to take command of it.Copy !req
246. She's got a few stones,
but she's got no bollocks.Copy !req
247. If she doesn't grow a pair,Copy !req
248. the hotel is going to
be washed up.Copy !req
249. The Sandgate Hotel in Kent
has lost 33,000 poundsCopy !req
250. in the first four
months of this year.Copy !req
251. But while Rome burns, Lois
and Peter, the owners,Copy !req
252. seem determined to eat,
drink, and be merry.Copy !req
253. Meal, after meal,Copy !req
254. after meal.Copy !req
255. - My brief when I started wasCopy !req
256. it's run like Lois and
Peter's living room.Copy !req
257. And that's how they wanted it.Copy !req
258. That's basically
what I was told.Copy !req
259. - It was?Copy !req
260. Run it as if it's their lounge?Copy !req
261. - Basically.Copy !req
262. - Running a
hotel and restaurantCopy !req
263. is not the same as eating
and drinking in one.Copy !req
264. Lois and Peter bought a dream.Copy !req
265. Now they need to wake
up to the factCopy !req
266. that it's a business, not
a second home.Copy !req
267. Day three at Sandgate Towers,Copy !req
268. and a chance to see the
terrace barbie.Copy !req
269. Fucking hell.Copy !req
270. Hardly a day for
fucking barbecue.Copy !req
271. I feel like I'm a fucking
car boot sale.Copy !req
272. Stuart's worked in some
good kitchens in his career,Copy !req
273. but they get him to set
up a portable barbie.Copy !req
274. It's heart-breaking.Copy !req
275. You're not gonna get any
customers today.Copy !req
276. - I will.
- For fuck's sake,Copy !req
277. flies in that fucking thing.Copy !req
278. Surely they can't make their
head chef suffer any more.Copy !req
279. - The kitchen.Copy !req
280. - Kitchen, are you there?Copy !req
281. Are we all set?Copy !req
282. - Give us, oh, four minutes
on a bison garnish, please.Copy !req
283. - Where's that to,
Calais?Copy !req
284. This place is like a jigsaw,
but none of the pieces fit.Copy !req
285. Freeing set up, so he's
out there on the barbecue,Copy !req
286. and you're left to
run the kitchen.Copy !req
287. - Yes.
- Fucking hell.Copy !req
288. You're 20 years of age,
you're 18 years of age.Copy !req
289. I mean, how come you've got
all that responsibility?Copy !req
290. And what happens when it's busy?Copy !req
291. - We'll be in the shit.Copy !req
292. - Who would put someone
who's clearly a good chefCopy !req
293. in charge of a barbecue?Copy !req
294. Time to find out from
the manager.Copy !req
295. But which one?Copy !req
296. Kirsti, the general manager,
is Lois' daughter-in-law.Copy !req
297. Before coming to Britain,Copy !req
298. she worked in restaurants
in her native New Zealand.Copy !req
299. The barbecue, how would
you describe that?Copy !req
300. - My aim was for kiwi barbecue.Copy !req
301. - I thought that.Copy !req
302. That sort of territorial,
- Salads.Copy !req
303. - Kiwi beach life.
- Something like that, yeah.Copy !req
304. - But, sweetheart, we're
not in fucking Auckland.Copy !req
305. - I know.
- We're in Sandgate.Copy !req
306. The lack of focus in
this place is astounding.Copy !req
307. Lois hasn't even got
her flagshipCopy !req
308. fine dining restaurant
under control.Copy !req
309. The majority of the
complaints that come throughCopy !req
310. are normally on your day off.Copy !req
311. Have you ever eaten in
the restaurant?Copy !req
312. No.
- Because if the complaintsCopy !req
313. are going on when
you're not here,Copy !req
314. you've got to see what they're
serving in the dining roomCopy !req
315. so you can really do
something about it properly.Copy !req
316. - Yeah.
- And identify it.Copy !req
317. Are we too complicated?Copy !req
318. Is the menu too big?Copy !req
319. Are they inexperienced?Copy !req
320. Do we need to simplify it?Copy !req
321. What do I need to do
as a head chef?Copy !req
322. You're the food and
beverage manager,Copy !req
323. have you ever eaten up here?Copy !req
324. - No.Copy !req
325. - How can you relate to
your customers' experienceCopy !req
326. if you're not
experiencing the same time.Copy !req
327. Go upstairs, order.Copy !req
328. - Yeah.
- I think you'll findCopy !req
329. something very interesting
going on there.Copy !req
330. - Yeah.Copy !req
331. - Kirsti hasn't
worked at the sharp endCopy !req
332. of the business for
about eight months,Copy !req
333. so today she's going
to waitress.Copy !req
334. I don't know what's on
and what's off,Copy !req
335. but I'm sure you do.Copy !req
336. Stuart's number two in the
kitchen is 21 year old Johnny.Copy !req
337. So what's going first, Johnny?Copy !req
338. - I'm going to send this
bar food first,Copy !req
339. and then the starters.Copy !req
340. The bread's just gone
up for the two,Copy !req
341. but I can't find anyone to
take it out of the lift yet.Copy !req
342. - God.Copy !req
343. Is it always like this?Copy !req
344. - Yeah.Copy !req
345. - Johnny runs the
kitchen two days a week,Copy !req
346. when Stuart's off.Copy !req
347. This is my chance to
see how he copes.Copy !req
348. Come on, guys,Copy !req
349. that's 10 minutes those
plates have been there.Copy !req
350. We're fucking around
with the garnish.Copy !req
351. They're a young team to be
cooking such elaborate food.Copy !req
352. And just to add to it, Johnny,Copy !req
353. they ordered it over
one hour ago.Copy !req
354. Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
355. - Let's get
it out, guys, come on.Copy !req
356. (dishes clattering)
Careful.Copy !req
357. I'm not going to allow
you to send this.Copy !req
358. This is really important
for you, you know that,Copy !req
359. from a professional
point of view.Copy !req
360. Because you've got to get
all the way up to the topCopy !req
361. in this fucking industry.Copy !req
362. Not serving shit like that,
big boy.Copy !req
363. And all you're doing by
serving that shit is,Copy !req
364. hey, destroying the place.Copy !req
365. And that's just on a
fucking burger.Copy !req
366. And I know you can do
better than that,Copy !req
367. you know that?
- I know I can do better.Copy !req
368. - There you go, so
fucking do it.Copy !req
369. - Yeah.Copy !req
370. - There are only
nine customers in for lunch,Copy !req
371. but it's well over an hourCopy !req
372. before Stuart and Kevin
get their mains.Copy !req
373. - Undercooked.Copy !req
374. That bell's annoying, isn't it?Copy !req
375. - Try working up here.Copy !req
376. - So did you get that
I cancelled my starter?Copy !req
377. - Yes, and mine.
- Yeah.Copy !req
378. - Unfortunately,Copy !req
379. Kevin and Stuart aren't
the only unhappy customers.Copy !req
380. Johnny, table nine
have popped off.Copy !req
381. They've gone.Copy !req
382. That's the table that
had no startersCopy !req
383. and went straight for
the main courses.Copy !req
384. Where's the ticket gone?Copy !req
385. - In the bin.Copy !req
386. - Why have you put
it in the bin?Copy !req
387. - I didn't put it, that's
where it's ended up.Copy !req
388. - Fucking wake up, will you,
yeah?Copy !req
389. Wake up.Copy !req
390. This is one of the worst
lunch services I've ever seen.Copy !req
391. Johnny's tried his best, but
the real culprit is clear.Copy !req
392. It's Stuart's food.Copy !req
393. It's just far too complicated.Copy !req
394. - Certainly been educational,
to say the least.Copy !req
395. - Stuart's had
a shock upstairs, too.Copy !req
396. - I never thought I would be
so, I actually walked out.Copy !req
397. - You walked out?
- Yeah.Copy !req
398. - Fucking hell, why did
you walk out?Copy !req
399. - Because I seen someone
else eating my dessertCopy !req
400. that I'd been waiting
for 35 minutes.Copy !req
401. - A head chef walking
out of his own restaurant,Copy !req
402. this place has sunk about
as low as it can go.Copy !req
403. Morning.Copy !req
404. How are you?Copy !req
405. Stuart's seen firsthand
what's wrong upstairs.Copy !req
406. I think the best people to tell
him what's wrong downstairsCopy !req
407. are his own brigade.Copy !req
408. But I think the young chefs
like this softhearted GeordieCopy !req
409. so much they've been
too afraid to pipe up,Copy !req
410. in case they hurt his feelings.Copy !req
411. It's time they told their
boss a few home truths.Copy !req
412. So, whoever catches a bass
today, as you catch that bass,Copy !req
413. you turn around openly
and tell Stuart something.Copy !req
414. You've got a lot to say,
haven't you?Copy !req
415. - What happens
if I catch one?Copy !req
416. Who can I cry to?
(Gordon laughing)Copy !req
417. - Fucking me, big boy.
(all laughing)Copy !req
418. - Here we go.Copy !req
419. Come on.
- Here he comes.Copy !req
420. Here he is.
- Come to daddy.Copy !req
421. - It's a bass.
- Oh!Copy !req
422. - Well done,
round of applause.Copy !req
423. Whee.Copy !req
424. More importantly, what
have you got to say?Copy !req
425. - All right, Stuart.Copy !req
426. - Quickly,
because Luke's in.Copy !req
427. - You've got a lovely menu,
but there's too much of it.Copy !req
428. - Thank you.Copy !req
429. Well done, Luke.Copy !req
430. Whee.Copy !req
431. Well done, Luke.Copy !req
432. What have you got to
tell the chef?Copy !req
433. - I just think that the menu's
nice and that, there's just,Copy !req
434. I think there's too many
garnishes, really, for the
dishes.Copy !req
435. - No problems, there.Copy !req
436. Thanks for telling us.Copy !req
437. - That's all it is,
really.Copy !req
438. - At 38,Copy !req
439. Stuart's old to have just got
his first head chef's job,Copy !req
440. and I think he's
desperate to impress.Copy !req
441. - If we simplify it,Copy !req
442. I think we can get the
taste a lot better,Copy !req
443. and we can get the stuff
looking so much betterCopy !req
444. instead of having to try and
rush it out all the time.Copy !req
445. I just don't like the
service being manic,Copy !req
446. because I know that I
can do better myself,Copy !req
447. and I know the rest of us can.Copy !req
448. - Yeah.
(soft music)Copy !req
449. - Great, they're
starting to enjoy themselves.Copy !req
450. Team spirit's vital to
a good kitchen.Copy !req
451. - Nice one.
- Nice.Copy !req
452. Yes.Copy !req
453. - Well done, Johnny,Copy !req
454. two of the biggest fish so far.Copy !req
455. The only one pissed off is me.Copy !req
456. Four hours on the
English ChannelCopy !req
457. and I didn't catch a thing.Copy !req
458. Sandgate is twinned
with Sangatte,Copy !req
459. a French town 24 miles
across the channel.Copy !req
460. But instead of seeking
inspiration from France,Copy !req
461. Lois and Kirsti have got
the chefs cooking foodCopy !req
462. from New Zealand and and
Japan, 6,000 miles away.Copy !req
463. My plan is to bring them home.Copy !req
464. Sea bass.Copy !req
465. You're not gonna get
any better, any fresher,Copy !req
466. quality ingredients than that.Copy !req
467. It's on your doorstep.Copy !req
468. And that's what we need
to take advantage of.Copy !req
469. Stuart's sea bass fish
on the a la carte menuCopy !req
470. has 15 ingredients,Copy !req
471. which is why the boys
struggle so much with it.Copy !req
472. I'm going to show them a
simpler versionCopy !req
473. with just five ingredients.Copy !req
474. And then just let the
knife do the work.Copy !req
475. And through.Copy !req
476. In.
(pan sizzling)Copy !req
477. Back on the stove.Copy !req
478. I think what I'm trying
to do is just show youCopy !req
479. how easy it can be,
one person can do this.Copy !req
480. Narrow down the
complexity of it,Copy !req
481. and it can be done within
three or four minutes,Copy !req
482. you know that, yeah?Copy !req
483. Sea bass.Copy !req
484. And the dish is going
to be just as excitingCopy !req
485. with less on there because
we're concentratingCopy !req
486. on the sea bass being hot,Copy !req
487. the dish being less
complex, and the flavour.Copy !req
488. Lois has been guilty of puttingCopy !req
489. unrealistic demands on Stuart.Copy !req
490. No chef with a small team can
cook 168 dishes really well.Copy !req
491. We've got to convince her
and Peter that less is more.Copy !req
492. - That's really good.Copy !req
493. - Superb.Copy !req
494. - The sea bass
has won them over.Copy !req
495. But there's bad news.Copy !req
496. - We, sadly, had a
letter this morningCopy !req
497. to say that we've lost
our AA rosette.Copy !req
498. - Oh.Copy !req
499. - Have you got the
letter with you?Copy !req
500. - I have, yes.
- Sorry.Copy !req
501. - It was for
the food guide.Copy !req
502. - Right.Copy !req
503. One AA rosette is
awarded for foodCopy !req
504. cooked with care and skill.Copy !req
505. But forced to cook for
four restaurants,Copy !req
506. Stuart has slipped below
that standard.Copy !req
507. It's a kick in the
bollocks for any chef.Copy !req
508. There's no two ways about that.Copy !req
509. But in a way it's a clean start.Copy !req
510. You turn the page.Copy !req
511. We'll make it less
complex, and we go again.Copy !req
512. Fucking hell.Copy !req
513. Oh, dear.Copy !req
514. We haven't got long to
turn this place around,Copy !req
515. and I'm worried.Copy !req
516. I don't know if the big
friendly giantCopy !req
517. will be able to pick
himself up from this one.Copy !req
518. - Bad news, yeah?Copy !req
519. We just lost the rosette.Copy !req
520. - What does that mean?
- It's gone.Copy !req
521. They've taken it away.Copy !req
522. I'm gutted.Copy !req
523. What can we do?Copy !req
524. It's a kick in the teeth.Copy !req
525. It's a bullet to the heart.Copy !req
526. - If Lois
isn't careful,Copy !req
527. it won't just be Stuart's
professional pride down the pan.Copy !req
528. Less is more on the
plate, and in the hotel.Copy !req
529. We need to simplify everything
so what's left can sparkle.Copy !req
530. - Fucking hell.Copy !req
531. - The weakest link
is the Japanese restaurant.Copy !req
532. How's it going?
- It's going.Copy !req
533. - How's it going?Copy !req
534. - Up and down.
- Up and down.Copy !req
535. It's costing more to
staff than it's making.Copy !req
536. Last week it took
just 290 pounds.Copy !req
537. - I can't believe.Copy !req
538. - And I'm personally
worried about it.Copy !req
539. And what about you?Copy !req
540. - It's tough here.Copy !req
541. - Uh-huh.Copy !req
542. I think we're in love
with the ideaCopy !req
543. more than we are with the
success of the business.Copy !req
544. And my idea is to close it.Copy !req
545. And to stop haemorrhaging money.Copy !req
546. - What would you suggest
we did with it?Copy !req
547. - Here?Copy !req
548. I think you've got a perfect
room for private dining,Copy !req
549. an overspill from
the restaurant.Copy !req
550. - That's a good idea,
it's a fantastic idea.Copy !req
551. - And I think, whether
he's got the bollocksCopy !req
552. to tell you or not, I'm
going to tell you,Copy !req
553. he's not very
comfortable cooking it.Copy !req
554. He's not a fucking
Japanese chef.Copy !req
555. (energetic music)
He's a Geordie.Copy !req
556. I've put the food back
on the road to recoveryCopy !req
557. and got rid of that
stupid Japanese.Copy !req
558. But front of house is
still a shambles.Copy !req
559. - Hello, when, when
did you book?Copy !req
560. - When we arrived this evening.Copy !req
561. - Oh, okay, no problems.Copy !req
562. Well, I do have some
space for you, okay,Copy !req
563. but I don't have your wine list.Copy !req
564. I'm sorry.Copy !req
565. - Sorting out the
chaotic customer serviceCopy !req
566. is too much even for me.Copy !req
567. - Would you like to take a seat?Copy !req
568. - Basil Fawlty
wouldn't like it,Copy !req
569. but what this place needs
is a Frenchman.Copy !req
570. Fuck me, am I happy to see you.Copy !req
571. - Hello.
- Are you well?Copy !req
572. - I'm very well.
- Yeah?Copy !req
573. I'd like to introduce
you to Jean-Baptiste,Copy !req
574. he's my maitre d
from Claridge's.Copy !req
575. Jean-Baptiste is in
charge of 70 waiters.Copy !req
576. If there's anyone who can help
Lois organise the restaurant,Copy !req
577. it's him.Copy !req
578. Right, let's have a lookCopy !req
579. at the dumbwaiters.
- The service area.Copy !req
580. - He'll take
control upstairsCopy !req
581. while I help Stuart keep
things shipshape downstairs.Copy !req
582. - Where the food comes up
from the kitchenCopy !req
583. and to the restaurant.Copy !req
584. - So customers can hear
the waitresses talkingCopy !req
585. and the restaurant
manager talking.Copy !req
586. And the buzzer also sort of,
(buzzer beeping)Copy !req
587. there you go, it goes right
through the dining room.Copy !req
588. - Now, when the first,Copy !req
589. or any intercom.
(buzzer beeping)Copy !req
590. - Within
minutes of arriving,Copy !req
591. Jean-Baptiste bans the
intercom system.Copy !req
592. From now on, the waiters
will have to go downstairsCopy !req
593. and talk to the chefs
face to face.Copy !req
594. - Would you like to
come through?Copy !req
595. - Hello, monsieurs, how are you?Copy !req
596. - Even the basics
aren't looked after here.Copy !req
597. Luca, the restaurant manager,Copy !req
598. hasn't got enough cold
water for lunch.Copy !req
599. - Yeah, because you're
going to run out of waterCopy !req
600. very quickly, my friend, no?Copy !req
601. I mean, you got two
bottles of water.Copy !req
602. - But what I would do,Copy !req
603. I would give them tumblers
with ice and lemon.Copy !req
604. - And what if they don't
want any ice and lemon?Copy !req
605. - Give it to them warm,
unfortunately.Copy !req
606. - Yeah, but this is a
fucking disgrace, no?Copy !req
607. - Unfortunately.
- How are youCopy !req
608. going to do that?Copy !req
609. Luca, Luca, those glasses,
they are fucking dirty.Copy !req
610. Look at that.Copy !req
611. All right, this is what we
need to change,Copy !req
612. Luca.
- It will pan out.Copy !req
613. - It's, we have to be
customer orientated, Okay?Copy !req
614. - Front of house have
had absolutely no leadershipCopy !req
615. or quality control from Lois.Copy !req
616. - Oh, of course.
- You preferCopy !req
617. that I take the menu?Copy !req
618. - You are the owner.
- Okay.Copy !req
619. - You get the restaurant
manager or some waiterCopy !req
620. to bring them in there, okay?Copy !req
621. When you're here, you're
here to be here,Copy !req
622. facing the customers,
welcoming them, okay?Copy !req
623. Welcome home, you know?Copy !req
624. - Oh, this is just gettin'
harder to do.Copy !req
625. - No, welcome home.Copy !req
626. - The first
check is in.Copy !req
627. You all right?Copy !req
628. Not too hard?Copy !req
629. Clear face to face
communication like thisCopy !req
630. should cut out all the wrong
orders and misunderstandings.Copy !req
631. Okay, that wasn't difficult,
was it?Copy !req
632. What's it like having the
tickets in the kitchen now,Copy !req
633. in your hands?Copy !req
634. - I feel more in control.
- You feel in control?Copy !req
635. - I can spend a little
bit more time cooking,Copy !req
636. which is what I'm best at.Copy !req
637. - That's fucking banned, guys.Copy !req
638. Look, hello.Copy !req
639. Yeah, no one touches that
fucking thing.Copy !req
640. Okay?Copy !req
641. - You need to pick up the
bread and the butter now.Copy !req
642. So who is going to do it,
if not?Copy !req
643. Kevin, who's going to do it?Copy !req
644. Him?
- Yeah.Copy !req
645. - They work here.
- They're working here?Copy !req
646. So what do you mean,
they're working here?Copy !req
647. Your staff is coming
in like that?Copy !req
648. - A member of
staff ignoring LoisCopy !req
649. and heading for the bar, and
she hasn't batted an eyelid.Copy !req
650. What's going on?Copy !req
651. - [Jean-Baptiste] You're
the fucking owner.Copy !req
652. - Exactly.
- They did notCopy !req
653. even say hello to you.Copy !req
654. Can you believe that?
- No.Copy !req
655. - How's it going?
- It's a fucking nightmare.Copy !req
656. It's bad organisation, it's
a lack of communication,Copy !req
657. lack of team, team spirit,
team leader.Copy !req
658. Nobody knows what they're doing.Copy !req
659. The the waiter is
managing the the owner.Copy !req
660. The owner doesn't know
what she's doing.Copy !req
661. And it's a fucking mess.Copy !req
662. It's a mess.
- Yeah.Copy !req
663. Jean-Baptiste has helped
reorganise the restaurant.Copy !req
664. But he's also uncovered
the ultimate symptomCopy !req
665. of everything that's wrong
with Lois's business.Copy !req
666. Staff are allowed to
drink on the premises.Copy !req
667. I need to get to the
bottom of this.Copy !req
668. - They spend a lot of money in,Copy !req
669. at the bar.
- They spendCopy !req
670. over 2,000 pounds a
month on the bar.Copy !req
671. - 2,000 pounds a month?Copy !req
672. Fuck me.Copy !req
673. 500 quid a week on staff drinks?Copy !req
674. - That's what they spend.Copy !req
675. - Have you become
dependent on that?Copy !req
676. - Possibly.Copy !req
677. I guess, to a degree, we sat
down and looked at, you know,Copy !req
678. how much we were earning off
of them at the end of the day.Copy !req
679. You know, it reduces
the salary bill.Copy !req
680. - It's even worse
than I thought.Copy !req
681. Because how on earth are you
going to get the message acrossCopy !req
682. when you're treading on
eggshells to not upset themCopy !req
683. because they're going
to be spendingCopy !req
684. 2,000 pound a month in the bar.Copy !req
685. Fucking hell.Copy !req
686. I've never heard anything
so pathetic in all my life.Copy !req
687. Everyone's taking the piss.Copy !req
688. And maybe there is an advantage
of having too many staff,Copy !req
689. because they're spending
2,000 pounds a monthCopy !req
690. in the fucking bar, drinking.Copy !req
691. And clearly, that's keeping
the business afloat.Copy !req
692. The Sandgate Hotel in Kent
is in serious trouble.Copy !req
693. It's got a great location
and a great chef,Copy !req
694. but an owner who hasn't got
a clue how to run a business.Copy !req
695. I'm in the midst of
trying to rescue it.Copy !req
696. Fucking wake up, will you, yeah?Copy !req
697. Wake up.Copy !req
698. In just two days time, we're
relaunching the restaurantCopy !req
699. with a French flavour.Copy !req
700. We're holding an oyster
eating competitionCopy !req
701. against a French team
from Sangatte.Copy !req
702. But I've discovered that owner
Lois and her manager KirstiCopy !req
703. are getting the basics wrong.Copy !req
704. They allow their staff to
use the bar as a common room,Copy !req
705. which is a surefire way to
drive your customers away.Copy !req
706. - It is our fault.Copy !req
707. We have done it wrong.Copy !req
708. I do, I can absolutely see it
that we have done it wrong.Copy !req
709. Because it's building up,Copy !req
710. it's getting more and
more familiar.Copy !req
711. They're more and more
drinking going.Copy !req
712. And sometimes people, there
are so many staff hereCopy !req
713. that the customers can't
get to the bar.Copy !req
714. - The staff are
spending over 24 grand a yearCopy !req
715. on booze and fags.Copy !req
716. But I'm putting a
stop to it now.Copy !req
717. - Once you've
finished your shift,Copy !req
718. I'm afraid you cannot come
and sit in the bar and drink.Copy !req
719. - Now that has huge
implications in this company.Copy !req
720. I think you all know that.Copy !req
721. That is massive.Copy !req
722. - This business is not
run for staff.Copy !req
723. And the owners no longer
are going to dependCopy !req
724. on you guys put money in
behind the bar.Copy !req
725. And secondly, you've got no
idea of the conflicting messagesCopy !req
726. it's sending to the customers.Copy !req
727. And you can't serve a
member of the public,Copy !req
728. and then go and sit in the
same bar and drink with them.Copy !req
729. It's not good.Copy !req
730. Never seen it in my entire life.Copy !req
731. And it's got to stop.Copy !req
732. This is not the drinking hole.Copy !req
733. This is not a socialising gaffe.Copy !req
734. - Can I just ask,Copy !req
735. when you said staff
aren't allowed to drink,Copy !req
736. does that mean their days off,
as well?Copy !req
737. - Why does anyone want to
come here on their day off?Copy !req
738. Let me tell you why, because
it's too fucking easy.Copy !req
739. Let's go down to the Sandgate.Copy !req
740. Let's sit there and
get blattered.Copy !req
741. Let's sit on the terrace.Copy !req
742. Let's sit, it's too comfy.Copy !req
743. Haven't you got homes to go to?Copy !req
744. It's just become too convenient,Copy !req
745. I think we can all agree that.Copy !req
746. Then when there's asses
to be kicked the next day,Copy !req
747. and disciplinary to take place,Copy !req
748. no one wants to listen
to the owners or KirstiCopy !req
749. because we've sort of had a
chat and had a drink over it,Copy !req
750. and nothing's got done.Copy !req
751. If this place has got
any hope of survivingCopy !req
752. and going from
strength to strengthCopy !req
753. to identify the customers are
more important than the staff,Copy !req
754. that has to stop.Copy !req
755. - Cheers.Copy !req
756. Let's get back to work.Copy !req
757. We're going to have to
be very careful, as well,Copy !req
758. because, you know, there is a
tendency to come in here and,Copy !req
759. you know, Lois and Peter
meet up in here at the endCopy !req
760. of the day and, you know,
have a drink together.Copy !req
761. We're, I guess, to a degree,Copy !req
762. we're going to have to
lead by example.Copy !req
763. - At last, someone's
talking about leading.Copy !req
764. It's not Lois, but I think
we're getting somewhere.Copy !req
765. - I'm going to have to
have a cigarette, man.Copy !req
766. - You're kidding me.Copy !req
767. But I'm still worried
about Stuart.Copy !req
768. Since he lost the AA rosette,Copy !req
769. his morale has hit rock bottom.Copy !req
770. To have any chance of
pulling off the relaunch,Copy !req
771. I need that Geordie giant
back from the dark side.Copy !req
772. Regarding the accolade,
you'll fucking get it back,Copy !req
773. and get it back properly,
without
trying to cook 168 dishes.Copy !req
774. Get it back cooking a
menu that you can control.Copy !req
775. (knife chopping)
Why do you shout so much?Copy !req
776. - Get my point over with.Copy !req
777. - Fucking hell.Copy !req
778. I'm going to help him
devise a new menuCopy !req
779. that's right for a
seaside hotel,Copy !req
780. focusing on fresh fish
with a French twist.Copy !req
781. If I came to sit in the bar,Copy !req
782. or even sit in the
restaurant here,Copy !req
783. I'd love a bowl of
monk fruit here.Copy !req
784. I'd love a platCopy !req
785. of fruit de mer.
Yeah.Copy !req
786. - I'd die for it, do
you know why?Copy !req
787. Because I can relate
to the food,Copy !req
788. because there's the fucking sea.Copy !req
789. - Oh, it's ideal, like you said.Copy !req
790. I mean, you know, and
price wise, as well,Copy !req
791. ideally located to
buy fresh fishCopy !req
792. for basically next to nothing.Copy !req
793. - Oh, smell that.Copy !req
794. I'm waiting to see this
whole kitchenCopy !req
795. just waft with the smell
of bouillabaisse.Copy !req
796. - Yeah.
- Yeah?Copy !req
797. The frogs will be swimming
across that channelCopy !req
798. to get in here.Copy !req
799. Yeah?Copy !req
800. What about a nice big,
sumptuous, rich pear tatin?Copy !req
801. Pears from Kent, bring a
little bit of fucking EnglandCopy !req
802. meets France, France
meets England.Copy !req
803. Where's the sugar?Copy !req
804. - There.
- Oh, right.Copy !req
805. Oh, tawny.Copy !req
806. Just smell that there, the
cardamom seeds.Copy !req
807. That's lovely.Copy !req
808. Okay.Copy !req
809. Mm.Copy !req
810. As well as a new menu, we
also need new customers.Copy !req
811. So, Saga.Copy !req
812. The biggest employer in town,
with nearly 1,000 workersCopy !req
813. just around the corner from
the restaurant, is Saga.Copy !req
814. Look.Copy !req
815. Armed with two dozen oysters,Copy !req
816. we've come to turn them
on to fresh seafood.Copy !req
817. - They're very nice.
- That's delicious.Copy !req
818. - Anything
happening downstairs?Copy !req
819. No, in your tummy.Copy !req
820. Are you feeling sort of
warm and sexy?Copy !req
821. - All the
produce is local fishCopy !req
822. that you can see from the
Sandgate Hotel.Copy !req
823. The same with the oysters.
- That's gorgeous.Copy !req
824. - The same with the crab
- That's beautiful.Copy !req
825. - It's good to start talkingCopy !req
826. about the other
things on the menu.Copy !req
827. The idea of just getting
them sort of up to speedCopy !req
828. with the oysters is
for you then to sort ofCopy !req
829. let them know about everything
else going on, yeah?Copy !req
830. It's essential the
restaurant attracts localsCopy !req
831. who are still around when
the tourists go home.Copy !req
832. These are the people who
will keep the business afloatCopy !req
833. in the winter.Copy !req
834. Can I ask a question?
- Yeah.Copy !req
835. - How's your sex life?
- Colourful.Copy !req
836. - Perfect.Copy !req
837. Let me get you some oysters.
(both laughing)Copy !req
838. Straight down.Copy !req
839. How is it, nice?Copy !req
840. - Lovely.Copy !req
841. - And there's an added
bonus for you.Copy !req
842. They've got the most
amazing bedrooms upstairsCopy !req
843. if things have gone to plan.Copy !req
844. Word of mouth is the
best publicityCopy !req
845. you can get in the
restaurant trade.Copy !req
846. And hopefully we've just set
a thousand tongues wagging.Copy !req
847. - I'll only go for a second.Copy !req
848. - All right.Copy !req
849. - Tuna, small or large?Copy !req
850. It's on the menu as two sizes.Copy !req
851. - But Lois' front of
house team are still flapping.Copy !req
852. She treats them like her
extended family,Copy !req
853. and seems afraid to
discipline them.Copy !req
854. It's got to change.Copy !req
855. And I've been racking my
brains out all fucking weekCopy !req
856. on how Lois can get really
strong with her staff,Copy !req
857. and I've got a little idea.Copy !req
858. Fucking hell.Copy !req
859. Chin up.Copy !req
860. Just one of them, one of
them, not all fucking 10.Copy !req
861. - No, that's going to
be terrible.Copy !req
862. - You greasy fucker.Copy !req
863. Lovely.Copy !req
864. Assertiveness training,
chef style.Copy !req
865. - The photos.
- Really tell himCopy !req
866. exactly what you think of him.Copy !req
867. - Luca, I think you're
an extremely nice personCopy !req
868. and you are an asset
to the place.Copy !req
869. - Oh dear, she's
more like mum than matron.Copy !req
870. - Like I own it.Copy !req
871. You have got to have
respect for me,Copy !req
872. and I don't think you have.
- Yeah.Copy !req
873. I think with him you've got
to get really to the point.Copy !req
874. So I'm not going to
put that there.Copy !req
875. Luca, every time I want
something, you do it.Copy !req
876. Do as you're told, or look
for a new fucking job.Copy !req
877. - Right.Copy !req
878. Well.Copy !req
879. - You don't have
to say fucking,Copy !req
880. it's a chef's thing.Copy !req
881. Fire away.Copy !req
882. - Luca, it's time
that you learntCopy !req
883. I cannot put up with you
interrupting me all the timeCopy !req
884. and not doing what I ask you.Copy !req
885. You work for me.Copy !req
886. I do not work for you.Copy !req
887. - Good, much better.Copy !req
888. - Chef, every time I
speak to you, you interrupt me.Copy !req
889. It's absolutely gobsmacking and
it's incredibly bad manners.Copy !req
890. Kevin, you'll come
steaming in and interruptCopy !req
891. and start talking over
the top of me.Copy !req
892. Do not do it.Copy !req
893. - Now we're
getting somewhere.Copy !req
894. - I need respect from everybody.Copy !req
895. Listen to what I'm telling you.Copy !req
896. And for Christ's sake,
get on with it.Copy !req
897. - Good, do you
feel any better?Copy !req
898. - Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it?
- Do you?Copy !req
899. Now I want you to do
it for real.Copy !req
900. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
901. The real thing, we have
a quick word with Luca.Copy !req
902. Tell him what you want,
tell him what you need,Copy !req
903. and tell him how
important this to you,Copy !req
904. and how he does his talk.
- Yes.Copy !req
905. - Yeah, do you want me to
do it for you?Copy !req
906. - No.
- Let's go.Copy !req
907. - Luca?Copy !req
908. Is he here?Copy !req
909. When I said to you, last
night, that Cynthia was to doCopy !req
910. the ladies in the bar,
immediately you said to meCopy !req
911. Cynthia mustn't do the ladies
in the bar, duh, duh, duh.Copy !req
912. - It's like me and Kevin
coordinating the function,Copy !req
913. then you come in, breaking
in with other instructions,Copy !req
914. it's going to be too manyCopy !req
915. people giving instructions.
- I wasn't breaking in.Copy !req
916. That's what I'm here to do.Copy !req
917. I have to control it, Luca.Copy !req
918. - Basically, in a nutshell,
just do as she says.Copy !req
919. - Sure.
- And then if you've gotCopy !req
920. an issue with it, talk
to her after service.Copy !req
921. But in the middle of
service, do as she says.Copy !req
922. - Okay.
- I must,Copy !req
923. must be heard and
taken notice of.Copy !req
924. - Okay.
- Good.Copy !req
925. - Thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
926. - Nice work, thank you.Copy !req
927. - Lois has finally
discovered her inner chef,Copy !req
928. and not a moment too soon.Copy !req
929. That was so good, do as I say.Copy !req
930. End of story.Copy !req
931. In a few hours time, we
relaunch the restaurant.Copy !req
932. And this menu here is
clear, straightforward,Copy !req
933. can be eaten in the restaurant,Copy !req
934. it can be eaten on the terrace,Copy !req
935. and it can be eaten in the bar.Copy !req
936. 60 of the area's most
influential peopleCopy !req
937. are coming for lunch,Copy !req
938. so the chefs will need to
pull together like a team.Copy !req
939. I've got here, for you guys,
the most amazing jackets,Copy !req
940. spotless.Copy !req
941. Guess what we're going to do
before we put those jackets on.Copy !req
942. - I don't know.Copy !req
943. - Go on.Copy !req
944. - Are we going in the sea?Copy !req
945. - We're going in the
sea, exactly (laughing).Copy !req
946. We're going to have a
quick dip before lunch.Copy !req
947. Who's up for it?
(whimsical music)Copy !req
948. Come on!Copy !req
949. We could all do with a
fucking shower.Copy !req
950. - Hey!Copy !req
951. - Well done, well done.Copy !req
952. With great seafood on the menu,Copy !req
953. the first to arrive, naturally
enough, are the French.Copy !req
954. Welcome to the Sandgate Hotel.Copy !req
955. This is the team that
the chefs are taking onCopy !req
956. in the oyster shucking
competition after lunch.Copy !req
957. And it looks like they've
all been in training.Copy !req
958. So this is (speaking in
foreign language),Copy !req
959. sorry, Lois, excuse me.Copy !req
960. - One tuna,
large portion.Copy !req
961. - Yes, chef.Copy !req
962. - One coq au vin.
- Yeah.Copy !req
963. - With the
first orders in,Copy !req
964. the kitchen swings into action.Copy !req
965. That looks beautiful there.Copy !req
966. Very nice.
- I think it's the hat.Copy !req
967. - It's all in the hat,
yeah?Copy !req
968. What a transformation
from a week ago.Copy !req
969. The food's simple.Copy !req
970. The chefs are calm, collected,
and working as a team.Copy !req
971. But for Lois and her
waiters upstairs,Copy !req
972. it's a different story.Copy !req
973. - Excuse me.
(guests clamouring)Copy !req
974. - It's going
pear shaped.Copy !req
975. I've never seen them so
far in the shit upstairs,Copy !req
976. you know that?
- All my guysCopy !req
977. have came in early, at
the crack of dawn.Copy !req
978. We had time to go for a swim.Copy !req
979. We had time to go for
a swim before service.Copy !req
980. But I'll tell you what, I
know who's swimming now.Copy !req
981. Huh?Copy !req
982. - I think
they're about to sink.Copy !req
983. - Woop, woop, woop.Copy !req
984. - I need to
find out what's happeningCopy !req
985. and stop the rot.Copy !req
986. - No, that's not me.
(guests clamouring)Copy !req
987. - Another wrong orderCopy !req
988. means more work for the chefs.Copy !req
989. And we've got to cook the salmon
again, though, haven't we?Copy !req
990. - Yeah, we had one—
- It's only a table of two.Copy !req
991. If it was a table of
six, I can understand.Copy !req
992. But one table of two's
ordered wrong before, come on.Copy !req
993. - I know, it was the noise.
- Let's go.Copy !req
994. Oh, come on.Copy !req
995. Oh.Copy !req
996. What is it?Copy !req
997. There's glass everywhere.Copy !req
998. Want me to start the
table again?Copy !req
999. Fucking hell.Copy !req
1000. And to top it all, the general
manager is having a drinkCopy !req
1001. on the terrace and Lois
hasn't stopped her.Copy !req
1002. What is going on?Copy !req
1003. It's 1:30 coming up.Copy !req
1004. Just out of interest,
why can't Kirsti jump inCopy !req
1005. and give us a hand on
such a big day?Copy !req
1006. No disrespect, but having
drinks with her mates,Copy !req
1007. you know, on a day like today,Copy !req
1008. what kind of message is
that serving?Copy !req
1009. Kirsti, can you help out?Copy !req
1010. No one's taking care
of the terrace.Copy !req
1011. One table's already left
because they wouldn'tCopy !req
1012. have their order taken.Copy !req
1013. We just need general help.Copy !req
1014. - I'll just find out from
Lois where she wants me.Copy !req
1015. - It's an absolute nightmare.Copy !req
1016. And these poor men out hereCopy !req
1017. are still waiting for
their main course.Copy !req
1018. I have to go and chase that one.Copy !req
1019. - Everyone should be handling
their fucking dick now,Copy !req
1020. you know that?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1021. - A week ago it was
pandemonium down here,Copy !req
1022. and fuck all happening upstairs.Copy !req
1023. Now it's pandemonium upstairs,Copy !req
1024. and everything's happening
here, you know that?Copy !req
1025. - Two oysters natural.Copy !req
1026. One oysters deep fried.Copy !req
1027. Two prawns.Copy !req
1028. - Lois is finally
getting control front of house.Copy !req
1029. She's cracking the whip
with her staff,Copy !req
1030. and getting them
working like a team.Copy !req
1031. For the first time in a week,Copy !req
1032. the customers have
been put first.Copy !req
1033. - What an
improvement (laughing).Copy !req
1034. - It's very nice to see
more fish on the menu,Copy !req
1035. particularly as we're
near to the sea.Copy !req
1036. - I'm enjoying it very much.Copy !req
1037. I love (speaking in
foreign language)Copy !req
1038. on both sides of the Channel.Copy !req
1039. - That is only what is left,
because of being French,Copy !req
1040. we have tucked ourselves in.Copy !req
1041. - Feel like a millionaire.Copy !req
1042. - Stuart and the
chefs have pulled it off.Copy !req
1043. - It's thanks to these guys,
as well.Copy !req
1044. - Now they face
the French teamCopy !req
1045. in the oyster eating
competition.Copy !req
1046. Special events that get
the restaurantCopy !req
1047. noticed and talked about
are a great wayCopy !req
1048. to bring in more customers.Copy !req
1049. Welcome to the first ever
Sandgate versus SangatteCopy !req
1050. oyster shucking competition.Copy !req
1051. Which, within five minutes,
you're going to have to openCopy !req
1052. and eat as many
oysters as possible.Copy !req
1053. Go!
(bright music)Copy !req
1054. If Lois and Peter can make
this an annual competition,Copy !req
1055. it would help improve
Anglo-French relations,Copy !req
1056. and do their restaurant a
power of good into the bargain.Copy !req
1057. One minute to go!Copy !req
1058. Three, two, one,Copy !req
1059. stop!
(crowd cheering)Copy !req
1060. 28 for the French!
(crowd cheering)Copy !req
1061. And.
- Hey, what is all about that?Copy !req
1062. - Excuse me, please.Copy !req
1063. And Peter, for the Sandgate
English, how many please?Copy !req
1064. - I'm afraid we only did 76.Copy !req
1065. - Well done, Sangatte,
thank you.Copy !req
1066. Okay.Copy !req
1067. Cheers, Sangatte.Copy !req
1068. Jesus, she's trying to
drag me back to France.Copy !req
1069. Today's been a great
launchpad for the restaurant.Copy !req
1070. Now it's up to Lois to take
the place forward and run itCopy !req
1071. like a business, not like
her living room.Copy !req
1072. Stay on top of them, yeah?Copy !req
1073. I saw it a week ago,
thinking god, you know,Copy !req
1074. you may own the place,
but you're not running it.Copy !req
1075. You've got to run it and own it.Copy !req
1076. There's a big difference.
- There is.Copy !req
1077. - Yeah, and don't fall in love
with it, because it's a job.Copy !req
1078. - Quite.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1079. You've got to keep at
them and on them,Copy !req
1080. and at them, and on them,
and at them.Copy !req
1081. But for my money,
Stuart's the hero.Copy !req
1082. When he lost his rosette
earlier this week,Copy !req
1083. I thought I'd lost him.Copy !req
1084. But all credit to him,
he's pulled it round.Copy !req
1085. You deserve to make it yours.Copy !req
1086. - Yeah.
- Stick to what you knowCopy !req
1087. you can do properly.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1088. - And stand
firm on that one.Copy !req
1089. Hey, you still look
like Jimmy Nail.Copy !req
1090. - What is it, the nose or
the accent or?Copy !req
1091. - The accent.
- The accent?Copy !req
1092. - Can you sing?Copy !req
1093. - Yeah.Copy !req
1094. - Give us a song.Copy !req
1095. They've got six weeks
until I come back.Copy !req
1096. I hope they're still
singing then.Copy !req
1097. At the beginning of the summer,Copy !req
1098. I spent a week at the
Sandgate Hotel.Copy !req
1099. God, it looks like something
out of a porn movie.Copy !req
1100. I couldn't work out if it
was a comedy or a tragedy.Copy !req
1101. - Four minutes on a bison
garnish, please.Copy !req
1102. - I
simplified the food,Copy !req
1103. got the owner to run the
place like a business.Copy !req
1104. - I must, must be heard
and taken notice of.Copy !req
1105. - Okay.
- And made a splashCopy !req
1106. at the relaunch.
(crowd cheering)Copy !req
1107. Six weeks later, I'm back.Copy !req
1108. Good morning.
- Hello, big boy.Copy !req
1109. - How are you?Copy !req
1110. - Good, how are you?Copy !req
1111. - I'm very well, thank you.Copy !req
1112. Lois at the helm,
that's a good sign.Copy !req
1113. - Hello, Gordon.
- Are you well?Copy !req
1114. - I am well, thanks, yes.Copy !req
1115. - Here's what I caught
earlier, present for Stuart.Copy !req
1116. Good to see you both.
- Very nice.Copy !req
1117. - I'm sure he'll be delighted.Copy !req
1118. - Is he downstairs?Copy !req
1119. - Yup, he is.Copy !req
1120. - Fucking hell.Copy !req
1121. - What do you mean,
fucking hell?Copy !req
1122. That's not a nice reception.
- How you doing?Copy !req
1123. How you doing?
- Very well, thank you.Copy !req
1124. How are you?
- Very well, huh?Copy !req
1125. - How are you?
- Yeah, good, good.Copy !req
1126. - Will you put that in the
fridge, and we'll have a,Copy !req
1127. we'll have a chat
about that later.Copy !req
1128. The last time I was here,Copy !req
1129. the staff was spending two
grand a month in the bar.Copy !req
1130. And before I banned it,Copy !req
1131. Stuart was one of the
worst offenders.Copy !req
1132. What have you been spending
your money on per monthCopy !req
1133. that you're not spending
upstairs in the bar?Copy !req
1134. - Decided to go out there
and have a little baby, man.Copy !req
1135. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1136. - That's fantastic news.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1137. So I've been spending
too much time at home.Copy !req
1138. - See what happens?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
1139. - That's great news.Copy !req
1140. In the kitchen, he's
got a new systemCopy !req
1141. to tell the waiters upstairs
when the food is ready.Copy !req
1142. - It's a—
- Explain it to me.Copy !req
1143. - It's a vibrating system.Copy !req
1144. - A vibrating system?Copy !req
1145. - So if it's waiter number one,Copy !req
1146. we'll then press the
number one button,Copy !req
1147. it gives them a little tickle.Copy !req
1148. - All the waiters
are working with vibrators?Copy !req
1149. Fucking hell.Copy !req
1150. That's fantastic.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1151. - Huh?Copy !req
1152. And any waitresses need more,
sort of, jiggle in the nether.Copy !req
1153. - Yeah, I mean, if it
doesn't come out,Copy !req
1154. I just give them all a tickle,
like.Copy !req
1155. - And one thing very interestingCopy !req
1156. is that the customers
that come now.Copy !req
1157. - Yes?Copy !req
1158. - Are not that people
that we had before.Copy !req
1159. They're totally different.Copy !req
1160. It's been an amazingly.
- Which is great news.Copy !req
1161. - Good week.Copy !req
1162. Really fantastic.Copy !req
1163. - It's great
to see Lois and PeterCopy !req
1164. moving the business forwardCopy !req
1165. with new customers
and new ideas.Copy !req
1166. - We've had the till moved from
downstairs, when we closed,Copy !req
1167. when you were here, when
we closed down,Copy !req
1168. we had someone do all rewiring
and put this till in here.Copy !req
1169. - But crucially,
how's the new menu doing?Copy !req
1170. - I don't know if the
boys told you,Copy !req
1171. but on Friday we sold
out of seafood.Copy !req
1172. - 40 covers on Tuesday and
50 covers on Wednesday, so.Copy !req
1173. - You know, selling
out of seafood,Copy !req
1174. you know, we never
used to do that.Copy !req
1175. - Can the business survive?Copy !req
1176. - If it continues going
on like this now, yes.Copy !req
1177. - Since I
was last here,Copy !req
1178. turnover's nearly doubled
to 141/2 grand a week,Copy !req
1179. so they must be getting
something right.Copy !req
1180. Good.Copy !req
1181. Time to find out for myself.Copy !req
1182. I'm going to have a look at the,
um.Copy !req
1183. - Bar menu?Copy !req
1184. Bar menu, but I'm not
going in there to eat.Copy !req
1185. - Oh no, you can eat it
in here, that's fine.Copy !req
1186. - Oh wow, that's great.Copy !req
1187. - Okay.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1188. That's a big breakthrough.Copy !req
1189. Christ, I'm in the same
place I was a month ago?Copy !req
1190. And Lois is outside, as a
host, checking customersCopy !req
1191. coming through and
arranging the table plan,Copy !req
1192. and almost slightly
looking concerned,Copy !req
1193. which I like to see her worried.Copy !req
1194. That means she's moving her ass.Copy !req
1195. - I think it's going
much better.Copy !req
1196. It's much calmer.Copy !req
1197. The whole system is working.Copy !req
1198. - The first time he
came to eat here,Copy !req
1199. he was chewing on
raw sushi rice.Copy !req
1200. - I want to see
if the big bad GeordieCopy !req
1201. has regained his
passion for food.Copy !req
1202. So I've challenged him
to cook me somethingCopy !req
1203. special with my sea bass.
(soft music)Copy !req
1204. - Looks all right (laughing).Copy !req
1205. Well, it looks more
successful than the last time.Copy !req
1206. - Here is your
sea bass in a cream sauce.Copy !req
1207. - Go on, then.
- What?Copy !req
1208. - No, just a thanks.Copy !req
1209. Let me ask you a question first.Copy !req
1210. - Yeah, go on.Copy !req
1211. - What did you think of
the sea bass?Copy !req
1212. - Well, I thought it was
following along the themes,Copy !req
1213. we're straightforward, not
complicating the flavours.Copy !req
1214. I think if I was to have
that dish on the menu,Copy !req
1215. I think it would probably
fly out the door.Copy !req
1216. - I thought the dish was
absolutely fantastic.Copy !req
1217. - Yeah?
- I really enjoyed it.Copy !req
1218. - Excellent.
- I mean,Copy !req
1219. that was the best
dish I've eatenCopy !req
1220. out of the Sandgate Hotel
since I've been here.Copy !req
1221. Next time I see you.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1222. - You're going to have a
baby girl, or a baby boy.Copy !req
1223. - You know what it is?Copy !req
1224. - Go on.Copy !req
1225. - Remember that day
where I had that,Copy !req
1226. that oyster eating contest?
- Yes.Copy !req
1227. - I think that was it.Copy !req
1228. - That was the night, was it?Copy !req
1229. - I think it might have been.Copy !req
1230. - That sea bass was memorable.Copy !req
1231. What more could you ask?
- Right.Copy !req
1232. - And don't tell
him, I didn't really catch it.Copy !req
1233. I bought it from the
fucking fishmonger.Copy !req
1234. I really think this can
work, you know that?Copy !req
1235. They've got all the ingredients,Copy !req
1236. and I think they can really
put this place back on the mapCopy !req
1237. and be a great
seaside restaurant.Copy !req
1238. It needs a lot of hard
work and understandingCopy !req
1239. that your customers are
fucking important.Copy !req
1240. Nothing more than that.Copy !req