1. - Last year, I spent a
week in Spain at La Parra,
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2. helping Laurence Davey turn
his turd of a restaurant.
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3. The first thing I've
spotted is dog shit,
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4. into a tourist hotspot.
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5. Look at you.
- How are you?
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6. - This week I'm back to
find if ego knows no bounds.
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7. - Two or three of these
now would be nice.
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8. - Oh, you're opening
another La Parra.
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9. - I'd like to, yeah.
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10. - Oh, fuck me.
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11. That's some ambition when
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12. you're serving
charcoal for desert.
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13. We could be doing better.
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14. He's stubborn as a mule.
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15. - It's not black.
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16. - You're fucking
defensive and your fucking ego—
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17. - Listen, I'm gonna
defend my food.
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18. - He stands me up.
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19. And the sun's gone to his head.
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20. A packet of crisps and
a bag of fruit gums,
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21. Laurence, are you fucking mad?
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22. - Why not?
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23. - Fuckin' hell.
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24. The Costa Del Sol, Spain.
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25. For the first time I'm
abroad on a special mission
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26. to rescue a failing
British run restaurant.
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27. During the summer months,
thousands of Brits will
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28. invade the
Mediterranean coastline
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29. and spend their hard
earned cash.
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30. And to cater for the masses,
more and more
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31. British restaurants are
opening on the Costa.
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32. Scampi and chips,
sausage and chips,
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33. fish and chips,
barbecued chicken.
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34. Fuck me.
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35. Get it right here and you could
be sitting on a gold mine.
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36. How many portions of chips
would you serve per week?
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37. Roughly?
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38. - Well we probably do in excess
of a hundred portions a day,
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39. so seven or 800 a week.
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40. - How are the chips?
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41. - Very good.
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42. - Yeah?
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43. What would you do if I
banned chips from here?
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44. - I would not be here at all.
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45. - Would you not come?
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46. - Probably not, no.
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47. - This is English totally
and it's good English.
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48. - Is there
anything on the Costa
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49. that doesn't come with chips?
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50. - One more steak garnish
please and a lamb shank.
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51. I'll get that.
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52. - One restaurant
owner who thought he'd spotted
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53. a gap in the market is 26
year old Brit Laurence Davey.
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54. 18 months ago he borrowed
40 pounds from his dad
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55. and opened La Parra de Burriana,
200 metres from the beach
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56. in the coastal resort of Nerja.
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57. - This restaurant has
great potential
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58. to be very successful
and very popular
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59. and it's in a great location,
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60. but I've been doing it
for a year and a half now
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61. and I haven't seen any
success whatsoever.
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62. - Armed with his
catering degree
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63. and a few years managing
night clubs and restaurants,
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64. Laurence designed a
Mediterranean menu with a twist
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65. to lure the Brits away
from their egg and chips.
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66. - My particular favourite, king
prawns in garlic and ginger
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67. and chilli served with
our signature
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68. chocolate sauce on the side.
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69. It's not very popular
which kind of proves
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70. the adventurous side of
my customers.
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71. - With the prawns in
chocolate sauce failing to win
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72. round the Brits he lost 22
grand in his first year.
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73. - I don't know whether I
went about it the wrong way
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74. or whether people don't want it
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75. or aren't ready for it,
I don't know.
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76. - Since then
he's broadened his menu
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77. to a massive 72 dishes,
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78. cooking everything from Chinese
chicken to Turkish kebabs.
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79. - I've even served chicken
nuggets and chips to an adult
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80. and I absolutely hate it.
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81. I really hate it.
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82. - But with
takings down on last year
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83. he'll be lucky to survive the
summer, let alone the winter.
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84. I'm in Spain to stop La
Parra from going under.
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85. Hello.
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86. - Hi.
- How are you?
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87. - Hi very well, how are you?
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88. - Very well.
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89. Laurence?
- Yes it is.
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90. - Good to see you.
- And you.
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91. - When did it start
going really quiet?
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92. When did it?
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93. - We suddenly snapped
about September last year.
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94. It suddenly just went as if
a light was switched off.
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95. And it was just, it just died.
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96. Ever since then we've
been losing money.
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97. - What did you know about a
restaurant before you opened it?
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98. - I did my degree, I did
my own research—
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99. - Not in terms
of, that's training.
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100. - Sure, sure.
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101. It was a nightclub in
Cheltenham and then became
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102. restaurant manager of a
big restaurant in London
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103. and that's when I really
said all right I'm doing it,
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104. I'm doing really well.
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105. I was succeeding in
everything in what I'm doing.
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106. Why can't I do it for myself?
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107. They need it, they
need me in Nerja.
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108. They really need me to
do great stuff.
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109. - And now you're 26?
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110. - Yep.
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111. - And in the fucking shit.
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112. - Yep.
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113. - How bad in shit?
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114. - I'm 102,000 Euros in debt.
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115. - 102,000 Euros?
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116. - That's 75 grand?
- 75 yeah.
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117. - So the noose is
really on your neck?
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118. - I've either got to
make it here or go back
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119. to London and pay
back my father.
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120. - Fuck.
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121. The signature dishes
are, what would you say?
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122. - Signature dishes, we
do a great prawns dish
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123. with a chocolate sauce,
which I've done from day one.
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124. - Prawns with chocolate sauce?
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125. - Prawns with
chocolate sauce yes.
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126. So it's starter and
dessert at the same time?
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127. Well fuck me that
sounds different.
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128. Right, let's see what a
former night club manager
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129. has to offer the Brits abroad.
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130. Huge menu, extraordinary menu
and then different themes.
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131. Flamenco.
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132. Burger night.
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133. Kebab Menu.
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134. Chinese chicken or pork.
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135. Confused.
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136. I don't know what the
fuck's going on.
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137. If I'd wanted a Chinese
I would have gone to one.
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138. But I'm in Spain.
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139. Let's hope Laurence's
signature dish of prawns
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140. in chocolate sauce gives
me the flavour of the Med.
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141. Cor dear.
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142. It's worse than a
chocolate sauce.
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143. It's hot over spicy
chilli chocolate sauce.
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144. That's just stupid
arrogance really,
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145. trying to match something
that's never gonna go.
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146. If that's how Laurence
serves up fresh local prawns,
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147. then I wonder what
he's got in store
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148. for my fillet steak kebab.
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149. - Well he's gone for the kebab
which is our wow factor dish
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150. when you know it comes
out on the hook,
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151. so I think he gets to see
that bit of what we do.
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152. - Fuck me.
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153. Is that how they're
always served?
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154. Oh Jesus.
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155. Fuck me.
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156. It's the kind of thing
you imagine Jordan eating
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157. with her fucking hands
behind her back.
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158. Is someone taking the piss?
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159. How can you expect
something like that
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160. and that to be cooked at
the same time.
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161. A fillet steak kebab.
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162. It may not sound that exciting
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163. but it should taste delicious.
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164. And that in terms of
presentation
looks like a pile of shit.
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165. If I thought my kebab
was overcooked,
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166. that's nothing compared
to what's happening
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167. to my creme Catalana.
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168. What's all that smoke
coming out of the kitchen?
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169. Is everything okay in there?
(mumbling)
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170. - Is that my dessert?
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171. - It's just
when they burn the top.
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172. - Burn the top?
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173. - Well not burn the top.
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174. - It looks as though they've
burnt the kitchen down.
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175. Fuck me.
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176. Well it's certainly burnt,
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177. it looks like a fucking
ice hockey puck.
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178. Look at it.
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179. It comes with an appointment
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180. at the dentist tomorrow
morning at 9:30.
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181. Fuck me.
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182. It's liquid and it's ruined.
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183. So while you're sat with
all these fresh ingredients
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184. on your doorstep and
the climate they've got,
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185. the simpler it is, the
better it's gonna be.
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186. Unfortunately they've got
more complicated and trying
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187. to be clever and completely
lost the fucking plot.
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188. The first rule for running
a restaurant in Spain
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189. is don't ruin good produce
with fancy gimmicks.
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190. Good food will always
sell itself.
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191. Laurence's novelty dishes
may have been designed
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192. to turn heads, but all it's
done for me is turn my stomach.
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193. The prawns, the flavour
of the prawns
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194. was extraordinary, fresh,
vibrant.
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195. Why do you want to fuck around
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196. and put chocolate
sauce on there?
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197. - Because I don't want to be
boring, I want to be exciting.
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198. - I thought it was
fucking hideous.
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199. It didn't work.
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200. But then I came to this
fucking schlong, that kebab.
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201. Have you actually ever
sat at the table
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202. and watched six customers with
this fucking donkey's dick
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203. swinging in front of their
face, it's hilarious.
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204. - Well that is it, you
know it's a talking point,
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205. it's a wow factor.
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206. - That's a wow factor?
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207. - Yes.
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208. - It's a fillet steak.
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209. - Yes.
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210. It was tough as old boots.
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211. I don't know.
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212. Before you start fucking
mouthing
off, let me just show you.
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213. A cube that big and a
cube that big
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214. are not going to cook at
the same time.
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215. - That was my fault.
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216. - Oh fuck me here we go.
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217. Can I just finish a
sentence first Sinbad
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218. and then you can fucking
come back on me in a minute.
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219. That out there was embarrassing.
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220. So it's painful, if it's
painful for me
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221. and you're a 102,000
fucking Euros in the shit,
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222. fuck knows how you
sleep at night.
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223. - I don't.
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224. You know I feel so shit
about the whole thing,
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225. but deep down I really
want it to work,
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226. I want my dream to come true.
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227. You're in Spain.
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228. You don't have to be that
fucking quirky to be good.
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229. I'll see you in the morning.
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230. I've certainly got my
work cut out.
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231. I get the feeling nightclub boy
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232. isn't going to give up his
novelty dishes without a fight.
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233. Prawns in chocolate sauce.
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234. Fuck me.
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235. For the first time I'm
in Spain on a mission
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236. to turn around a failing
British run restaurant.
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237. Former nightclub and
restaurant manager
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238. Laurence Davey came to
Nerja to conquer the Costa.
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239. He thought his novelty
dishes of swinging kebabs
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240. and prawns and chocolate
sauce would win over
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241. the egg and chips loving Brits.
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242. But the Brits aren't biting
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243. and after sampling his
food I can see why.
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244. Laurence thought he was
gonna come over to Spain
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245. and take it by storm.
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246. He opened up at 24 years of age
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247. using his dad's fucking money.
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248. He thought his balls were
bigger than the mountains
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249. and he thought he
was gonna bring
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250. a Mediterranean twist
with a difference.
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251. He's got all the gimmicks
and he thinks by being simple
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252. it's too plain for Spain,
but you'd never think
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253. he's a 102,000 Euros in
fucking debt.
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254. - Two chicken satay,
three pinchitas moranas,
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255. one prawn cocktail.
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256. - Tonight is my chance to see
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257. how La Parra copes with
a full service.
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258. With Laurence cooking
the a la carte
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259. dishes alone in the
kitchen, his sous chef Norm
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260. is grilling the kebabs and
steaks on the terrace barbecue.
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261. - This goes up and down
so I can hire
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262. or lower it according
to cooking temperatures.
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263. - Fucking hell so it's a
very modern updated barbecue?
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264. - Yes it's more like a
torture rack for food.
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265. - A torture rack for
food, he's not joking.
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266. - Now in my book, I think
that's well done now.
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267. - Suffering on top of the
grill are 10 chicken kebabs
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268. that have yet to be ordered.
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269. Why do you cook them
so early on?
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270. I've only just done them.
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271. But they're cooked.
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272. So they're not really
barbecued are they?
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273. They're almost like poached.
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274. - Well I seal them off,
poach them
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275. and then finished them
on the barbecue again.
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276. - Kebabs grilled,
poached, left sitting
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277. in the heat, they're hardly
fresh off the barbecue.
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278. But according to Norm
there's plenty
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279. of life left in them yet.
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280. - I usually use them
tomorrow for one day.
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281. Are you out of your
fucking mind?
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282. - No I was letting
myself go there
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283. but I've told you the truth.
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284. Don't you serve those to
the stray cats
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285. after service tonight let
alone the fucking customers.
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286. - Okay.
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287. - Fucking hell.
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288. Rule number two for running
a restaurant in Spain,
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289. tourists might have
holiday insurance
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290. but that doesn't mean you
can give them Spanish tummy.
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291. When cooking on a
barbecue don't take risks.
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292. And as night falls the
world of La Parra
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293. becomes even darker.
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294. Norm looks like he's
preparing for a wake
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295. and after seeing his kebabs
I wouldn't be surprised.
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296. It's like we're at fucking
midnight mass here,
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297. you know that?
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298. - I know, I know.
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299. - What's that?
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300. - That's the dynamo
torch isn't it?
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301. Right see what's
going on here eh?
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302. - Cooking by clockwork torch,
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303. it doesn't get any more
Mickey Mouse than this.
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304. And we need more
light down here.
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305. - Sorry?
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306. - A well done fillet.
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307. - Well done fillet?
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308. - Yeah.
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309. - We haven't got that
sweetheart no.
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310. - I ordered a fillet
steak about an hour ago
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311. and it hasn't turned up yet.
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312. I'm bloody starvin' hungry.
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313. - The food may not be
Spanish but there's certainly
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314. something manana about
manager Alex's service.
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315. They've been sat there over
an hour for their main course.
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316. He's cooking it and the
plates are in there.
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317. This fragmented fucking service
is horrendous you know that?
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318. Is it normal for customers
to wait this long?
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319. - Afraid so yeah.
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320. I can't go any quicker
than I'm going,
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321. I'm going as quickly as
I possibly can.
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322. It's not as if I'm not trying.
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323. - He can try as hard
as he likes,
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324. but no chef can cook 72
different dishes on his own.
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325. To keep up with his orders,
Laurence has thrown everything
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326. on to his plancha grill.
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327. It doesn't get any
lazier than that
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328. I mean he's depending
on that plancha grill
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329. to cook everything from
fucking dorade,
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330. to kebabs to chateaubriand
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331. and then this fucking
lazy med veg.
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332. That is the most disgusting way
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333. I've ever seen fucking good
ingredients bastardised.
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334. He may as well open a
fucking greasy spoon
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335. and serve egg and chips, 'cause
that's fucking disgustin'.
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336. It's day three and the
hard work starts here.
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337. If I'm to stand any
chance of getting
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338. La Parra out of the shit, this
place needs a fresh start.
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339. Forks on the floor, glass
everywhere, cigarettes, chips.
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340. Dog shit, fuck me.
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341. I've seen some unsavoury
things in my time.
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342. Alex two seconds.
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343. But dog shit in the dining
area is unforgivable.
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344. The first thing I've
spotted is dog shit.
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345. That's not good enough.
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346. Are you happy with that?
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347. - No I'm not happy with
that, it's disgusting.
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348. - Rule number three,
running a restaurant
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349. in Spain isn't a holiday.
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350. There's a laid back attitude,
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351. the fact that we're in
Spain so we can afford
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352. To be semi casual because
we're dealing with tourists.
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353. No are we fuck, we're
running a restaurant.
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354. And thinking that it's good
to work in a dirty kitchen
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355. or a dirty restaurant with
dog shit in, forget it.
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356. If dog shit goes unnoticed,
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357. then it's no surprise the
kitchen is dripping in grease.
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358. Your fryers are used a lot yeah?
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359. Yes.
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360. - There you go, that's what
you're cooking out of yeah?
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361. - Right.
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362. - Every time you're
putting fresh oil in there,
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363. it's making fuck all difference.
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364. That's slodge.
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365. With the restaurant having
a much needed deep clean,
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366. there's something else I
want to clear up.
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367. Last February Laurence put
on a Valentine's dinner
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368. for the local donkey
sanctuary charity.
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369. 100 British ex pats paid
30 pound a head
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370. for a fund raising meal.
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371. Rumour has it Laurence
made a complete arse of it.
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372. How bad did it go?
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373. I mean was it a?
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374. - It was a complete fuck up
it was an absolute disaster.
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375. - In what way?
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376. - The food was overcooked, dry,
tasteless.
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377. - What was the menu?
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378. - We did the chicken
liver parfait.
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379. - Uh huh.
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380. - Which wasn't made
until the morning
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381. so it had no time to set.
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382. A chicken dish wrapped
in Serrano ham,
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383. baked in the oven
and the chicken
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384. was so dry it was
like cardboard.
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385. - Did you give
it to them on the house?
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386. - No.
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387. - You charged them?
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388. - Yep.
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389. - Fuckin' hell, no wonder
they haven't been back.
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390. Rule number four, when you're
running a restaurant in Spain,
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391. don't piss off the locals.
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392. When the tourists have gone
home, the local ex pats
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393. account for 80% of your
takings in the winter months.
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394. Without them a British
restaurant
in Spain can't survive.
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395. I'm heading into
hostile territory
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396. to make peace with the natives.
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397. I'm off to the local
donkey sanctuary
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398. and hopefully after
meeting them I want to see
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399. if there's any chance that
they'll actually come back
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400. and give the restaurant
one more fucking chance.
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401. All I know about donkey's
is they're stubborn.
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402. This isn't gonna be easy.
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403. I'm fascinated to get to
the bottom of what actually
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404. happened on that fund raising
dinner in terms of big event.
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405. - I mean not being funny
it was the sort of meal
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406. that you're all
waiting the next day
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407. to have a very nasty trip
into the toilet.
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408. - What was the menu?
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409. - Chicken stuffed with
banana, supposed to be served
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410. with asparagus.
- Banana?
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411. - Yes.
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412. - Banana and asparagus?
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413. - It wasn't a
very good combination.
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414. - It was supposed to
be his signature dish.
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415. - Not another one with a
fucking twist on there.
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416. This became cancerous didn't it?
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417. Because it spread like
wildfire across the town?
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418. - Oh yes, well
it's a small town.
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419. - Actually he was quite
arrogant about the whole thing.
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420. If he thinks he can survive
in a small town like this
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421. with that attitude he's
got another thing coming.
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422. - Have you been back since?
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423. - No.
Copy !req
424. - Charging the
local charity for a bad meal
Copy !req
425. smacks of
unbelievable arrogance.
Copy !req
426. Laurence might have
come to Spain
Copy !req
427. to offer the Brits
something different
Copy !req
428. but so far all he's given them
is pretentious novelty food.
Copy !req
429. I'm gonna give him a
taste of his own medicine.
Copy !req
430. Have a taste of that, smell
first maybe and a little taste.
Copy !req
431. First up a chocolate and
prawn smoothie
Copy !req
432. based on Laurence's
signature dish.
Copy !req
433. What does that taste
of Laurence?
Copy !req
434. - Chocolate.
Copy !req
435. - Yeah you smell chocolate and
then it tastes like cookies.
Copy !req
436. - Cookies?
Copy !req
437. Taste that one again.
Copy !req
438. - No thanks, I think
it's fucking horrible.
Copy !req
439. - Okay.
Copy !req
440. Next a chicken and
banana smoothie
Copy !req
441. based on the dish he served at
the donkey sanctuary dinner.
Copy !req
442. - There's a texture in there
which is quite stringy.
Copy !req
443. - Stringy?
Copy !req
444. - It's a stringy texture.
Copy !req
445. - So banana and string?
Copy !req
446. - I don't know.
Copy !req
447. - Banana and something
horrible in it again.
Copy !req
448. - Blindfolds off.
Copy !req
449. The first one is fucking
prawns and chocolate.
Copy !req
450. Could you taste the prawn there?
Copy !req
451. - Well I knew there was
something in there
Copy !req
452. that was not very nice.
Copy !req
453. - You didn't get it?
Copy !req
454. What I'm trying to say is
you've got the best of prawns,
Copy !req
455. let them fucking taste of prawn.
Copy !req
456. Don't let them taste
of prawn and chocolate.
Copy !req
457. This is the most
painful smoothie
Copy !req
458. because it's a
chicken and banana
Copy !req
459. and it's the fucking,
the dish that managed
Copy !req
460. to piss off the locals
at the donkey
Copy !req
461. sanctuary's fucking
charitable event.
Copy !req
462. What the fuck were you
thinking about
Copy !req
463. putting banana and
chicken together?
Copy !req
464. Tell me so I can help you.
Copy !req
465. - Okay it was just a way
of using a south American
Copy !req
466. kind of influences, other
than roasted chicken.
Copy !req
467. - You didn't fucking tell me
the truth about the banana.
Copy !req
468. - No.
Copy !req
469. - It's not just mixing
prawns with chocolate
Copy !req
470. and chicken with banana
that's the problem,
Copy !req
471. it's the other 70 dishes
on Laurence's huge menu.
Copy !req
472. Sit down.
Copy !req
473. I want to replace it with
a dozen dishes
Copy !req
474. they can cook easily to
stop the tourists
Copy !req
475. waiting hours for their dinner.
Copy !req
476. Have you come to terms with
trying to restrict the menu?
Copy !req
477. - Every time I try to
think about it,
Copy !req
478. I think of the people
that have asked
Copy !req
479. for those particular items
Copy !req
480. and why I shouldn't
take them off.
Copy !req
481. I do get some
returning customers
Copy !req
482. so I must be doing
something right.
Copy !req
483. - Well where are these
fuckers then?
Copy !req
484. Because I've been here for
three nights on the trot
Copy !req
485. and I don't see the
fucking return business.
Copy !req
486. You've given me the impression
in such a short period
Copy !req
487. of time of knowing you
that I've got
Copy !req
488. a young man that's playing
with his dad's money
Copy !req
489. trying to fucking run
a restaurant.
Copy !req
490. That's the impression I get.
Copy !req
491. - Well I think that's
wrong because
Copy !req
492. I believe that what I'm
doing is right.
Copy !req
493. If I didn't I
wouldn't be doing it.
Copy !req
494. - I couldn't do this
fucking menu
Copy !req
495. on my own with 72
dishes on there.
Copy !req
496. Laurence is refusing to
reduce his huge menu but it's
Copy !req
497. the only way he'll ever
cope with a busy restaurant.
Copy !req
498. It's time to prove my point.
Copy !req
499. For tonight's service
I've devised
Copy !req
500. a three course
Mediterranean menu
Copy !req
501. that will fly out the kitchen
Copy !req
502. and get customers
served quickly.
Copy !req
503. A gazpacho soup, barbecued
chicken with a warm potato salad
Copy !req
504. and a roasted caramelised peach.
Copy !req
505. What's the twist?
Copy !req
506. - There is no twist.
Copy !req
507. - It's all fucking local.
Copy !req
508. That's it, there's no
twist there.
Copy !req
509. Tonight customers will order
from Laurence's a la carte menu
Copy !req
510. but when he falls behind
he'll switch to mine
Copy !req
511. and that will show him how
quick he can serve customers.
Copy !req
512. I just want him to have that
emergency menu at the forefront
Copy !req
513. of his mind, set his ego
apart, get that back in London
Copy !req
514. and for him to
concentrate on sort of
Copy !req
515. accomplishing a fully booked
service with no complaints.
Copy !req
516. - Got an order for
chocolate prawns.
Copy !req
517. - He said
you know earlier,
Copy !req
518. no one wants to buy
chocolate prawns,
Copy !req
519. he thinks it's shit,
a stupid idea,
Copy !req
520. first order that came in
chocolate prawns and carrot
soup.
Copy !req
521. So um.
Copy !req
522. It's 9:00 and the orders
from Laurence's huge menu
Copy !req
523. of 72 dishes are now
flooding in.
Copy !req
524. But it's already
starting to go wrong.
Copy !req
525. - It's medium.
Copy !req
526. - Look, look, it's raw
it's not pink, it's raw.
Copy !req
527. It's raw.
Copy !req
528. It's red raw.
Copy !req
529. All I want you to do is just
cook a fucking kebab properly.
Copy !req
530. - Well that's
all I want to do.
Copy !req
531. - Yeah please.
Copy !req
532. Right are you in control?
Copy !req
533. Yeah?
Copy !req
534. - Yeah.
Copy !req
535. - I'm, not gonna taste that
yeah, but it looks burnt.
Copy !req
536. Laurence needs to push
the button now
Copy !req
537. and replace his menu
with my menu
Copy !req
538. if he's to avoid a repeat
of last night's fiasco.
Copy !req
539. You want to push the button?
Copy !req
540. - No.
- No, no, seriously.
Copy !req
541. - No.
- No, no seriously yeah.
Copy !req
542. Not yet, not yet.
Copy !req
543. - Are you sure?
- Yes.
Copy !req
544. - Yeah.
Copy !req
545. This is nothing to do
with your bollocks
Copy !req
546. and the size of your cock is it?
Copy !req
547. - No.
Copy !req
548. - Laurence's reluctance
to use my emergency menu
Copy !req
549. means it's customers who suffer.
Copy !req
550. - And if I'm dead honest
with you the lamb is,
Copy !req
551. everyone's saying the
lamb's bone dry,
Copy !req
552. it's appalling really.
Copy !req
553. Really is appalling.
Copy !req
554. - What happened to
that one there?
Copy !req
555. - It was not hot
enough for them.
Copy !req
556. - That's not cooked, that's raw.
Copy !req
557. - But the complaint was
that it's cold.
Copy !req
558. - Yeah you know it's
cold because it's what?
Copy !req
559. Raw.
Copy !req
560. That's why.
Copy !req
561. When meals start coming back,
Laurence finally cracks.
Copy !req
562. Right you all right?
Copy !req
563. - Yeah.
Copy !req
564. - You are yes?
Copy !req
565. - Yeah I've called your menu in.
Copy !req
566. - You've
called it away?
Copy !req
567. - Yes.
Copy !req
568. - It's all done, all you
have to do is call it away,
Copy !req
569. hey and Norm was just gonna
put the fucking chicken
Copy !req
570. on the barbecue
nothing more yes?
Copy !req
571. Thank you for pushing the
fucking button.
Copy !req
572. Pushing out my emergency menu
Copy !req
573. should have been idiot proof
but they've left it too late.
Copy !req
574. And in the hands of dumb and
dumber, it descends into farce.
Copy !req
575. - This was like put in
25 minutes ago.
Copy !req
576. - Yeah and I'm still
trying to make it
Copy !req
577. 'cause I've had to
send food out,
Copy !req
578. I can't stop start, stop start.
Copy !req
579. I'm doing my next order
which is two pork
Copy !req
580. kebabs and a chicken kebab.
Copy !req
581. - No don't I just asked you.
Copy !req
582. - Yeah I'm gonna rush it.
- Norm, Norm, Norm.
Copy !req
583. - I'm looking
for the cloth Laurence.
Copy !req
584. - Oh come on Norm if there's
a time you need to pull
Copy !req
585. your finger out now, is
right now you know that, eh?
Copy !req
586. - I know.
Copy !req
587. I've got two pork
kebabs to make now.
Copy !req
588. - But why are
we serving pork kebabs
Copy !req
589. when we've got the
emergency menu on?
Copy !req
590. - I don't know, ask the waiter.
Copy !req
591. - Fuckin' hell.
Copy !req
592. There's little point in asking
restaurant manager Alex.
Copy !req
593. - Are you guys on top of stuff?
Copy !req
594. How are your tables?
Copy !req
595. Do I need to go to any
tables at all?
Copy !req
596. - He's so confused
as to who's ordered what,
Copy !req
597. he's now serving food to
tables with no one on them.
Copy !req
598. - They should be here,
but they're not here.
Copy !req
599. Right okay go back to
the kitchen.
Copy !req
600. - This place right now is the
biggest shit hole in Spain.
Copy !req
601. It's fuckin' embarrassing.
Copy !req
602. Costa Del Shit Hole
at it's best.
Copy !req
603. - It's the worst meal
we've ever had.
Copy !req
604. - Well it's quarter to
12 now and we got here
Copy !req
605. at half past nine and we've
just finished the main course,
Copy !req
606. so it has been a long wait.
Copy !req
607. - With customers
worn out from waiting,
Copy !req
608. meals being sent back and
now refunds being handed out.
Copy !req
609. Surely even Laurence
can see that by sticking
Copy !req
610. to his stupid menu, he's
only got himself to blame.
Copy !req
611. I'm speechless.
Copy !req
612. So I don't know what to say.
Copy !req
613. Let's get to the crux.
Copy !req
614. Laurence?
Copy !req
615. - I mean Norm was put under
far too much pressure tonight.
Copy !req
616. Your menu made him plate
up his own plates
Copy !req
617. and do the starters and
the cold soups out there
Copy !req
618. on the barbe and he
couldn't manage.
Copy !req
619. It slowed him down too much.
Copy !req
620. - You're telling me that my
menu fucked him up on the grill.
Copy !req
621. - He couldn't deal with it.
Copy !req
622. - Couldn't deal with what?
Copy !req
623. Putting the fucking
bowl of soup out
Copy !req
624. that was already made for him?
Copy !req
625. When are you guys going to stop
fuckin' around with excuses?
Copy !req
626. When's one of you gonna step
forward with a pair of bollocks
Copy !req
627. and give me some
fucking honesty?
Copy !req
628. Because I don't know
where you were
Copy !req
629. 'cause that was
fucking shocking.
Copy !req
630. Let me tell you something, you
made a fucking good decision
Copy !req
631. you pushed the button.
Copy !req
632. Whether you like it or not
it was too fucking late.
Copy !req
633. An hour and a half late.
Copy !req
634. So whose fucking
fault is it now?
Copy !req
635. Chef.
Copy !req
636. I'm fucking out of here.
Copy !req
637. Fuck yourself!
Copy !req
638. - Well he wanted me to be honest
Copy !req
639. and I told him what I thought.
Copy !req
640. Yeah maybe I should have
lead with his whole menu,
Copy !req
641. but that's hindsight.
Copy !req
642. And in hindsight I
should never even
Copy !req
643. have done this fucking project.
Copy !req
644. - It's day five and there's
storm clouds over La Parra.
Copy !req
645. I've never felt as bad
about a restaurant
Copy !req
646. as I did last night and
when I walked out
Copy !req
647. I wasn't sure I'd be
coming back.
Copy !req
648. It's pissing down.
Copy !req
649. But just when I thought
things couldn't get any worse,
Copy !req
650. there was a break in
and nearly 4,000 pounds
Copy !req
651. was stolen from the
premises over night.
Copy !req
652. Morning.
Copy !req
653. - Morning Gordon, how you doing?
Copy !req
654. - Yeah fine.
Copy !req
655. Um, first of all sorry about
the news, fucking hell.
Copy !req
656. - Yeah it's not good.
Copy !req
657. - It's not good at all.
Copy !req
658. How much was it?
Copy !req
659. - Five and a half
thousand Euros.
Copy !req
660. - Five and a half
thousand Euros.
Copy !req
661. - She's not happy either.
Copy !req
662. - Well she's not much of a
fucking guard dog is she?
Copy !req
663. Hey, and where's the safe?
Copy !req
664. It's not so much a safe as a
cash tin in a filing cabinet.
Copy !req
665. - They've left
the small notes,
Copy !req
666. they just took the big ones.
Copy !req
667. - Why would you leave five
and a half grand in there?
Copy !req
668. The most important rule for
any restaurant owner anywhere
Copy !req
669. in the world is always put
your takings in the bank.
Copy !req
670. Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
671. - I've got to think long
and hard whether
Copy !req
672. I can actually continue
without that money
Copy !req
673. and now that maybe the
clincher that you know
Copy !req
674. I won't be able to make it.
Copy !req
675. - It's not just a failing
restaurant I'm dealing with
Copy !req
676. but an owner about to
book his flight home.
Copy !req
677. If ever there was a
time for Laurence
Copy !req
678. to realise that I'm here
to help it's now.
Copy !req
679. You know it's your pride
Copy !req
680. that you've got to stop
fucking worrying about.
Copy !req
681. Because how fucking
proud are you gonna feel
Copy !req
682. at fucking Malaga airport
with your bags.
Copy !req
683. What are you gonna do?
Copy !req
684. I don't go through that
kind of bullshit
Copy !req
685. to fucking help turn a
restaurant around.
Copy !req
686. I can't do it without you.
Copy !req
687. I've only one more chance
to get through to Laurence
Copy !req
688. and get him listening to me.
Copy !req
689. You wouldn't go into a bull ring
Copy !req
690. without taking clear instruction
Copy !req
691. from someone who knows
what they're talking about.
Copy !req
692. Laurence.
Copy !req
693. Hola Raphael.
Copy !req
694. Listen to this man for the
next five minutes because
Copy !req
695. he's going to show you some
very, very crucial moves.
Copy !req
696. If Laurence continues to
ignore my advice,
Copy !req
697. he may lose his restaurant
Copy !req
698. but if he ignores Matador
Raphael he could lose his balls.
Copy !req
699. Big fucking test for Laurence
now he's got to stand
Copy !req
700. on his own two feet and show me
Copy !req
701. as the Spanish would
say your cojones.
Copy !req
702. Show me you've got a pair of
bollocks and fucking use them.
Copy !req
703. Have you got your cojones?
Copy !req
704. - Si.
Copy !req
705. - Yeah?
Copy !req
706. - No problemo.
Copy !req
707. - Where?
Copy !req
708. - Where?
Copy !req
709. Currently tucked up inside.
Copy !req
710. - Fucking hell.
Copy !req
711. Where's your cojones?
Copy !req
712. - Oh it's a fucking,
it's just a shit storm.
Copy !req
713. Don't think Spanish
bulls like me very much.
Copy !req
714. What am I doing?
Copy !req
715. Oh fucking hell that's
not a good sign.
Copy !req
716. - One thing he doesn't
need now is stubbornness.
Copy !req
717. Here we go.
Copy !req
718. Get off your arse.
Copy !req
719. Come on get up.
Copy !req
720. - I'm not doin' that.
Copy !req
721. - Come on, get out here,
come on.
Copy !req
722. With Laurence carefully
listening
to Raphael's expert advice
Copy !req
723. he starts to get the hang of it.
Copy !req
724. - I won one.
Copy !req
725. - You all right?
Copy !req
726. Rule number six, running
a restaurant in Spain
Copy !req
727. is a risky business, it
pays to listen
Copy !req
728. to some expert advice.
Copy !req
729. Fucking scary no?
Copy !req
730. - Yeah.
Copy !req
731. - How do you feel?
Copy !req
732. - I feel like your point's
been proven in a very big way.
Copy !req
733. - You have a big
pair of cojones.
Copy !req
734. Now just fucking use them.
Copy !req
735. Well done, get some water.
Copy !req
736. Fuckin' hell.
Copy !req
737. Now I've got Laurence listening
Copy !req
738. I need to get him cooking
like a proper chef.
Copy !req
739. Every night Laurence
cooks everything
Copy !req
740. on this plancha grill
to save time.
Copy !req
741. As a result it all
tastes the same.
Copy !req
742. Fishy meat and meaty veg.
Copy !req
743. I'm going to show
Laurence that in the time
Copy !req
744. it takes him to cook a whole
sea bream on his grill,
Copy !req
745. he could fillet it, fry it
Copy !req
746. and make a simple
Mediterranean sauce.
Copy !req
747. What I'm trying to do Laurence
Copy !req
748. is make your life fucking
easier you know that.
Copy !req
749. And whilst I'm still
waiting for yours
Copy !req
750. I'm just gutting an orange,
a lemon,
Copy !req
751. a pink grapefruit, fresh basil.
Copy !req
752. Are you cooked yet?
Copy !req
753. - Almost.
Copy !req
754. - Out and on.
Copy !req
755. Now I'm not trying to be
some jumped up
Copy !req
756. fucking smarmy arsed
little fucker,
Copy !req
757. I'm just trying to
explain you're busting
Copy !req
758. your bollocks the
wrong way round.
Copy !req
759. I know which one you
can do ten times quicker
Copy !req
760. and a 1000 times better.
Copy !req
761. Don't be scared to use a pan.
Copy !req
762. - He's drilled into my
pride and you know
Copy !req
763. my arrogance has really
shown through
Copy !req
764. and I've been a bit of an arse
about it and a bit stubborn.
Copy !req
765. And you know I'm really
now excited that he's here
Copy !req
766. and I really want to learn
and get this place moving.
Copy !req
767. - The penny might have dropped
Copy !req
768. but now I've only got two
days to put things right.
Copy !req
769. Out with the old, in with the
new, fucking bin them, yeah?
Copy !req
770. We're short of coal tonight.
Copy !req
771. With Laurence finally
letting go of his huge menu,
Copy !req
772. it's time for a new beginning.
Copy !req
773. In its place I've
created a small
Copy !req
774. Mediterranean menu using
local produce.
Copy !req
775. Five starters including
figs and Cyrano ham
Copy !req
776. and water melon with feta cheese
Copy !req
777. and six mains including
a pan fried sea bream
Copy !req
778. and a barbecued chicken
on a warm potato salad.
Copy !req
779. - Actually cooking properly
feels absolutely fantastic.
Copy !req
780. At last.
Copy !req
781. Limited menu, fresh
ingredients, absolutely amazing.
Copy !req
782. - The menu
will offer Brits
Copy !req
783. something authentic fresh and
above all quick to prepare.
Copy !req
784. And reducing 72 dishes to 15,
Copy !req
785. service couldn't be any simpler
for restaurant manager Alex.
Copy !req
786. - Got the menus?
Copy !req
787. - Okay so what
about this table here?
Copy !req
788. 8:30 booking.
Copy !req
789. - I've just taken
their order now.
Copy !req
790. - Okay good, okay let's go yeah?
Copy !req
791. The menu's simpler.
Copy !req
792. A lot easier.
Copy !req
793. We can do volume now.
Copy !req
794. Now we've got a chance to
put the fucking thing right.
Copy !req
795. It's my final night and
it's the relaunch
Copy !req
796. of La Parra's new menu.
Copy !req
797. I've only got one shot at this
Copy !req
798. and I can't afford any mistakes.
Copy !req
799. Changing you tonight, yeah?
Copy !req
800. You're coming off that barbecue.
Copy !req
801. Yeah I want you connected
to the owner as a sous chef.
Copy !req
802. That's my decision and I'm
sticking to it.
Copy !req
803. I'm putting sous chef
Norm in the kitchen
Copy !req
804. prepping cold starters.
Copy !req
805. And pot washer Tom will take
his place on the barbecue.
Copy !req
806. It's a gamble but I'm confident
Copy !req
807. Tom will send the
meat out cooked.
Copy !req
808. All you have to do is take
the chicken off the barbecue
Copy !req
809. and put it onto the
plate and send it yeah?
Copy !req
810. - Sure.
Copy !req
811. - Good.
Copy !req
812. - There you go sir.
Copy !req
813. - This evening isn't just
about launching a new menu,
Copy !req
814. it's about Laurence
regaining his reputation
Copy !req
815. with the British ex
pat community.
Copy !req
816. Six months ago he hosted
a fund raising dinner
Copy !req
817. for the local donkey sanctuary,
Copy !req
818. serving frozen starters and
chicken stuffed with banana,
Copy !req
819. it was a fiasco.
Copy !req
820. Tonight I've convinced
them to come back.
Copy !req
821. - It's very nerve
wracking having them here
Copy !req
822. because I know how much
I upset them last time
Copy !req
823. and I know how much
distaste they have
Copy !req
824. for the restaurant in general.
Copy !req
825. - Right donkey sanctuary
just sat down yes?
Copy !req
826. - Yes okay we're
on their starters now.
Copy !req
827. - Treat that table
like a time bomb.
Copy !req
828. The starters arrive for
the donkey sanctuary,
Copy !req
829. but just when I thought
it was all going to plan,
Copy !req
830. Alex has forgotten to
serve the wine.
Copy !req
831. How can you put the
starters down
Copy !req
832. without the serving the wine?
Copy !req
833. Of all tables.
Copy !req
834. Come on.
Copy !req
835. At 9:00 the restaurants
full but bizarrely
Copy !req
836. there's a backlog of
people waiting for tables.
Copy !req
837. It's Alex's responsibility
to get them seated,
Copy !req
838. but he's flapping around
like a headless chicken.
Copy !req
839. What's going on with
these fucking tables
Copy !req
840. waiting in the bar for so long?
Copy !req
841. Table six?
Copy !req
842. - Table six, yeah I
double booked it you see,
Copy !req
843. at the start of the night
and I had to tell them that,
Copy !req
844. you know we need to have
the table back.
Copy !req
845. - Who do you tell you need
the table back?
Copy !req
846. The customer?
- The customer yes.
Copy !req
847. - What about the
fucking kitchen?
Copy !req
848. They need to know first,
because they've got to cook it.
Copy !req
849. So move your arse.
Copy !req
850. Alex has simply got
greedy in thinking
Copy !req
851. they can turn tables
around in an hour.
Copy !req
852. As a result people
are turning up
Copy !req
853. for their reservations,
but have nowhere to sit
Copy !req
854. and in the kitchen
Laurence is now struggling
Copy !req
855. with a backlog of orders.
Copy !req
856. The donkey's at the your table.
Copy !req
857. On top of all that, Alex
has now gone into melt down.
Copy !req
858. Alex get a grip.
Copy !req
859. Alex, you can do it Alex.
Copy !req
860. - Just do it.
- I know.
Copy !req
861. - You can fucking do it.
Copy !req
862. We're waiting on you.
Copy !req
863. - I know you're waiting on me
and I really appreciate this.
Copy !req
864. - This is fucking critical.
Copy !req
865. Fucking hell.
Copy !req
866. Go.
Copy !req
867. Come on Alex please.
Copy !req
868. - We waited for 40
for a starter,
Copy !req
869. then sat with dirty
plates for 45 minutes
Copy !req
870. and then we were asked to
leave the table
Copy !req
871. because the next lot of
guests arrived.
Copy !req
872. - Five plates yeah, one,
two, three, four, five.
Copy !req
873. - Although under
pressure, Laurence is at least
Copy !req
874. coping with my reduced menu.
Copy !req
875. - You've got three Cyrano
and three water melon yeah?
Copy !req
876. Finish those off in a minute
as soon as I get these out.
Copy !req
877. - I can only be
grateful that Laurence
Copy !req
878. got the donkey sanctuary
main courses out
Copy !req
879. before the shit hit the fan.
Copy !req
880. - The food is
actually very good.
Copy !req
881. I think everybody's quite
pleased with the food.
Copy !req
882. - If he can come up
with this sort of deal,
Copy !req
883. yes we'll be back again.
Copy !req
884. - Yes but the service
leaves quite a little bit
Copy !req
885. to be desired I think.
Copy !req
886. A lot more work on the service.
Copy !req
887. - It's the end of the evening
Copy !req
888. and Laurence's cooking has
been a success.
Copy !req
889. But Alex's double booking
madness has let everyone down.
Copy !req
890. We were so close Alex.
Copy !req
891. So close.
Copy !req
892. You can do better.
Copy !req
893. - I know I can do better.
Copy !req
894. - You can do better.
Copy !req
895. - I know I can do better.
Copy !req
896. - Turn round and tell him
that he's paying your salary.
Copy !req
897. Fucking tough night, a
real tough night.
Copy !req
898. 87 covers and it was a struggle
Copy !req
899. and the service was
fucking pretty dismal.
Copy !req
900. However the donkey
sanctuary have confirmed
Copy !req
901. they're gonna come back.
Copy !req
902. That speaks volumes.
Copy !req
903. That means the local community
are now back on their side.
Copy !req
904. And quite frankly you can't
ask for a more crucial time
Copy !req
905. for them to support it because
Copy !req
906. we're just about to come
out of the summer season
Copy !req
907. and into the fucking winter.
Copy !req
908. And without their support they
won't get through the winter.
Copy !req
909. In six days I've finally
seen a change at La Parra,
Copy !req
910. but once I've gone,
Laurence has only four weeks
Copy !req
911. until the end of the
season to make the money
Copy !req
912. that will help him
survive the winter.
Copy !req
913. Remember, do not cut corners,
Copy !req
914. don't make a fucking
ass of yourself.
Copy !req
915. That's gone.
Copy !req
916. That has fucking gone.
Copy !req
917. Goodbye.
Copy !req
918. - Bye.
Copy !req
919. - I only hope La Parra's doors
Copy !req
920. will still be open
when I return.
Copy !req
921. Last time I was in Spain La
Parra was a bloody nightmare.
Copy !req
922. I left them a Mediterranean menu
Copy !req
923. that should have seen
them through the winter,
Copy !req
924. but if anyone could mess it
up, it was Laurence and Alex.
Copy !req
925. Now I'm back, I'm dying to see
Copy !req
926. if the fucking place
is still open.
Copy !req
927. La Parra is open and it's busy.
Copy !req
928. Fuck me.
Copy !req
929. Look at you.
Copy !req
930. - Hi are you all right.
- I'm well are you well.
Copy !req
931. - Yeah, very well, very well.
- Good to see you.
Copy !req
932. - And you.
Copy !req
933. - How's it been?
Copy !req
934. - It's been very very good.
Copy !req
935. On average about 50% up,
sometimes double each month.
Copy !req
936. - Really?
Copy !req
937. Congratulations.
Copy !req
938. - Thank you very much.
Copy !req
939. What a turn around.
Copy !req
940. Laurence was losing
22,000 pounds a year,
Copy !req
941. but with the ex pats propping
up their winter trade,
Copy !req
942. he's pulled in a 33
grand profit.
Copy !req
943. They're all the positives,
what are the negatives?
Copy !req
944. - I haven't expanded yet.
Copy !req
945. - Is that
what's on the cards?
Copy !req
946. - Hope so yeah.
Copy !req
947. - Already?
Copy !req
948. - Yeah.
Copy !req
949. Two or three of these now
would be nice.
Copy !req
950. - That's great news,
providing this one's
Copy !req
951. working perfectly yeah,
definitely.
Copy !req
952. A second restaurant?
Copy !req
953. This one has a lot
to live up to.
Copy !req
954. Laurence's new menu has
no stupid twists.
Copy !req
955. But I'm in Spain, so I'm
dying for something native.
Copy !req
956. There doesn't seem to be much
Spanish influence going on.
Copy !req
957. Good to see you.
Copy !req
958. - You too mate.
Copy !req
959. - When I left the
menu was bursting
Copy !req
960. with local vibrant flavours
Copy !req
961. but now I'm faced with
Italian pasta
Copy !req
962. and that old Spanish classic,
bread & butter pudding.
Copy !req
963. Bread & butter puddings.
Copy !req
964. - Bread and butter
pudding nice one.
Copy !req
965. Oh, we get so many compliments
on that it's delicious, yeah.
Copy !req
966. - Alex has a new team in
place for the summer season.
Copy !req
967. Norm and Tom have moved on
and the service has improved.
Copy !req
968. But the food hasn't.
Copy !req
969. These kind of things you'd
expect absolutely perfect
Copy !req
970. and they're not, the
pasta is like mush,
Copy !req
971. almost like a puree.
Copy !req
972. I wouldn't serve it to a baby.
Copy !req
973. Not good, greasy, way overcooked
and fucking tasteless.
Copy !req
974. If these boys want to
open another restaurant,
Copy !req
975. they're having a laugh.
Copy !req
976. Specialty of the house is
still cremated deserts.
Copy !req
977. Burnt bread & butter
pudding at the bottom.
Copy !req
978. You'd think a year
down the line,
Copy !req
979. we could be doing better.
Copy !req
980. Where is he?
Copy !req
981. - Kitchen.
Copy !req
982. - Right.
Copy !req
983. I came really thinking the
place was gonna be closed,
Copy !req
984. arrived it's open, busy
and I'm so fucking happy.
Copy !req
985. But now unfortunately not
very happy with the food.
Copy !req
986. I looked at the menu and
I thought fuck,
Copy !req
987. there's nothing authentic,
nothing Spanish.
Copy !req
988. The pasta was absolutely
shocking, cooked to fuck.
Copy !req
989. Why is it so mush?
Copy !req
990. Truthfully now.
Copy !req
991. - If I cook it ala dente
I get more sent back.
Copy !req
992. - You get it sent back?
Copy !req
993. - Most of my customers
like it overcooked.
Copy !req
994. - Laurence come on, fuckin'
hell.
Copy !req
995. I'm not gonna fucking
listen to you
Copy !req
996. tellin' that overcooked pasta
is what they want in Spain.
Copy !req
997. Come on.
Copy !req
998. Why and it's perfect
that it's here,
Copy !req
999. why is my bread & butter pudding
Copy !req
1000. fucking black on the bottom?
Copy !req
1001. You're not gonna tell me
Copy !req
1002. that's what they want as
well now surely?
Copy !req
1003. - You're lying, it's not black.
Copy !req
1004. - You're fucking defensive
and your fucking ego.
Copy !req
1005. - I'm gonna defend my food.
Copy !req
1006. You think I'm just
gonna sit here
Copy !req
1007. and go yeah, it's all burnt,
sorry shit.
Copy !req
1008. I'm not gonna do that.
Copy !req
1009. - I'm being honest.
Copy !req
1010. - Right and I'm being honest.
Copy !req
1011. There's a customer
here that says
Copy !req
1012. it's the best bread &
butter she's ever had.
Copy !req
1013. - Mine was full of burnt
fucking raisins.
Copy !req
1014. Just have a little
taste of that.
Copy !req
1015. - Okay, no.
Copy !req
1016. - No, no, no, no, no, I
love the way you.
Copy !req
1017. - I don't have to.
Copy !req
1018. - No I want you to taste
it, you taste that.
Copy !req
1019. I'll eat it with you.
Copy !req
1020. Laurence still can't
admit when he's wrong,
Copy !req
1021. and I can't stomach bullshit.
Copy !req
1022. He soon confesses that
while the evenings are busy,
Copy !req
1023. lunchtime trade is dead.
Copy !req
1024. We should be busy for lunch.
Copy !req
1025. - We should be yeah.
Copy !req
1026. We've tried our hardest.
Copy !req
1027. The past few months we've
been open every lunchtime
Copy !req
1028. and it just hasn't worked,
it hasn't kicked off at all.
Copy !req
1029. Everyone wants to be
on the beach.
Copy !req
1030. - You've got ambitions of
opening another restaurants,
Copy !req
1031. but five years fully
booked every fucking day
Copy !req
1032. before I opened my
second restaurant
Copy !req
1033. to make sure that we were
fucking solid,
Copy !req
1034. customers are happy and
we were doing it right.
Copy !req
1035. This is so frustrating.
Copy !req
1036. Rule seven of running
a restaurant,
Copy !req
1037. is don't get ahead of yourself.
Copy !req
1038. Only when restaurant
one is perfect
Copy !req
1039. can a second be considered.
Copy !req
1040. I've only got a few hours
tomorrow 'til I fly home,
Copy !req
1041. so I'll have to work fast.
Copy !req
1042. It'll be nice to get
everybody here for 9:00.
Copy !req
1043. - 11:30.
Copy !req
1044. - 9:00.
Copy !req
1045. Fucking hell.
Copy !req
1046. Unbelievable.
Copy !req
1047. Goodnight my darling,
goodnight princess.
Copy !req
1048. I love ambition absolutely
fucking love it.
Copy !req
1049. But in this game, you've
gotta fucking walk
Copy !req
1050. before you can run and
think about it,
Copy !req
1051. a chain of La Parra's?
Copy !req
1052. Fuck me.
Copy !req
1053. I'm back at La Parra on
the Costa Del Sol
Copy !req
1054. owner Laurence wants to
open a second restaurant
Copy !req
1055. but he's not perfected
his first one yet.
Copy !req
1056. His lunchtime trade is dead.
Copy !req
1057. I've only got a few hours
'til my plane leaves,
Copy !req
1058. so I'm gonna speak to
the Brits myself
Copy !req
1059. and find out what they
really want to eat
Copy !req
1060. when in sunny Spain.
Copy !req
1061. When you come to Spain yeah,
Copy !req
1062. what do you enjoy
eating the most?
Copy !req
1063. - Spanish food.
Copy !req
1064. - Sardines.
Copy !req
1065. - Sardines?
Copy !req
1066. - Yeah barbecued on
the beach there.
Copy !req
1067. - Fish and chicken.
- Prawns.
Copy !req
1068. - Prawns.
- Big prawns.
Copy !req
1069. - Penne pasta?
Copy !req
1070. - Not really, no.
Copy !req
1071. - Spanish food.
Copy !req
1072. - Spanish food, that's why
you look so fit and healthy.
Copy !req
1073. Have a great holiday.
Copy !req
1074. - Thank you.
- Thank you ladies.
Copy !req
1075. It's clear what the Brits want,
Copy !req
1076. a real flavour of Spain and
I'm dying to get stuck in.
Copy !req
1077. Unfuckin' believable.
Copy !req
1078. 9:00 in the morning,
busy day today
Copy !req
1079. and not one member
of staff here.
Copy !req
1080. Only in fucking Spain.
Copy !req
1081. Good afternoon.
Copy !req
1082. - Good morning.
Copy !req
1083. - Finally I asked them to be
here at 9:00 it's nearer 10.
Copy !req
1084. Late.
Copy !req
1085. - I'm on time
Copy !req
1086. - On time?
Copy !req
1087. - Spanish.
Copy !req
1088. - Spanish?
Copy !req
1089. Bollocks.
Copy !req
1090. Absolute bollocks
Copy !req
1091. Lunchtime trade was
never gonna pick up
Copy !req
1092. by replacing my
Spanish infused menu
Copy !req
1093. with dishes that just
aren't native.
Copy !req
1094. I can't wait to hear
their other ideas.
Copy !req
1095. - We're probs do
takeaway lunches
Copy !req
1096. - A Packet of crisps
and a bag of fruit gums?
Copy !req
1097. You're having a fucking
laugh aren't you?
Copy !req
1098. Fruit gums?
Copy !req
1099. - Home made.
Copy !req
1100. - Laurence are you fucking mad?
Copy !req
1101. - Why not?
Copy !req
1102. - Fuckin' hell.
Copy !req
1103. Fruit gums, mushy pasta
I have to show Laurence
Copy !req
1104. he's got the wrong idea about
what his customers want.
Copy !req
1105. I'm challenging Laurence
to a cook up on the beach
Copy !req
1106. in front of all the tourists.
Copy !req
1107. Pasta versus paella,
with only the most
Copy !req
1108. popular dish going on the
lunchtime menu.
Copy !req
1109. You got your speedo's?
Copy !req
1110. It'll drum up good
publicity for La Parra
Copy !req
1111. and remind Laurence what
the Brits are hungry for.
Copy !req
1112. His tasteless penne or my
authentic Spanish paella?
Copy !req
1113. A recipe he needs to learn.
Copy !req
1114. First thing what would
you put in there?
Copy !req
1115. - Onions, garlic.
Copy !req
1116. - Chorizo.
Copy !req
1117. It gives that really nice
golden colour.
Copy !req
1118. With onions garlic and
chicken in, the smokey aroma
Copy !req
1119. will have every mouth
on the beach watering.
Copy !req
1120. In go red peppers saffron
and Spanish sherry vinegar.
Copy !req
1121. It gives it that sort of depth,
Copy !req
1122. it brings out the
flavour of chicken
Copy !req
1123. so just round the outside.
Copy !req
1124. So rice in.
Copy !req
1125. Nice.
Copy !req
1126. In go local prawns and stock.
Copy !req
1127. Add fresh squid, clams
Copy !req
1128. and let the flavours
of Spain fuse together.
Copy !req
1129. Wow, that looks and
smells fantastic.
Copy !req
1130. Thank you.
Copy !req
1131. Let's have a little taste.
Copy !req
1132. See that nice dark rich colour?
Copy !req
1133. Fuckin' delicious.
Copy !req
1134. Sorry.
(giggling)
Copy !req
1135. Don't swear in front
of the girls.
Copy !req
1136. The paella's nearly ready.
Copy !req
1137. Laurence just needs to
fry up his ropey penne.
Copy !req
1138. Penne pasta cooked al dente.
Copy !req
1139. - Good, excellent.
Copy !req
1140. - And we'll see which
dish the tourist prefer.
Copy !req
1141. - Are you hungry?
Copy !req
1142. - Yeah!
Copy !req
1143. - Good, bloody hell.
Copy !req
1144. Christ almighty.
Copy !req
1145. There you are my darling.
Copy !req
1146. Sorry.
Copy !req
1147. Take some pasta as well, yes?
Copy !req
1148. As I thought the Brits
are going locum
Copy !req
1149. for proper Spanish paella.
Copy !req
1150. - Best paella we've had.
Copy !req
1151. Delicious.
Copy !req
1152. - And Laurence's dreary
pasta is coming in second.
Copy !req
1153. - We can have this (mumbling).
Copy !req
1154. - They're in Spain, so paella
is the preference isn't it?
Copy !req
1155. - Laurence has realised
what his customers want
Copy !req
1156. and now he can push for
some bookings.
Copy !req
1157. Would you walk 200 metres
to get a paella like that?
Copy !req
1158. - Yes.
Copy !req
1159. Definitely.
- Good.
Copy !req
1160. I'll see you for lunch tomorrow.
Copy !req
1161. Now you're in Spain, would
you come for a bowl of pasta
Copy !req
1162. or would you come for a paella?
Copy !req
1163. - Paella.
Copy !req
1164. - Why wouldn't you
come for pasta?
Copy !req
1165. - Because we get that in Italy.
Copy !req
1166. - Exactly.
Copy !req
1167. See.
Copy !req
1168. So there's the next restaurant
Copy !req
1169. you're gonna open up in Italy,
yes?
Copy !req
1170. - Do pasta there.
- Pasta there.
Copy !req
1171. Back at the ranch, we've 30
bookings for a late lunch,
Copy !req
1172. the flavour of Spain is
back on the menu.
Copy !req
1173. - Paella.
Copy !req
1174. - But I have a little forfeit
up sleeve for Laurence.
Copy !req
1175. Laurence and I had a
competition today on the beach,
Copy !req
1176. sadly Laurence lost.
Copy !req
1177. And part of losing the challenge
Copy !req
1178. is that he's now gotta come up
here and have a little dance.
Copy !req
1179. Come here.
Copy !req
1180. Ladies please.
Copy !req
1181. Now.
Copy !req
1182. - Shit.
Copy !req
1183. You're an asshole Gordon,
you're an absolute asshole.
Copy !req
1184. - Ladies and gentlemen,
Laurence.
Copy !req
1185. - Now that Laurence has
regained that flavour of Spain,
Copy !req
1186. he can start thinking about
your second restaurant.
Copy !req
1187. The first one has to be perfect.
Copy !req
1188. He has the perfect Paella.
Copy !req
1189. So the sky's the limit.
Copy !req
1190. - Come on, come on, come on,
come on.
Copy !req
1191. Well done buddy, well done.
Copy !req