1. - My
mission this week,
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2. The Fish and Anchor.
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3. Owners Mike and Caron are
a couple at war.
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4. - And he wouldn't let me finish!
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5. - Look, you're doing it again.
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6. - Fuck off.
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7. Their rows are legendary.
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8. - Fuck off.
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9. No, I haven't got a bloody
Oscar, I'm not being sworn at!
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10. - They're
driving the locals away.
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11. - Out.
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12. - What I've heard, he's a
bit of a tosser.
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13. - I'm
turning marriage counsellor.
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14. - You can't run around like
fucking Shrek in a frock,
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15. you've got to have some
form of control.
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16. - Otherwise,
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17. this restaurant will
self-destruct.
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18. - Ding, ding, round fucking two.
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19. Lampeter, a tranquil hamlet
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20. in West Wales's
glorious countryside.
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21. A perfect setting for a
traditional, rustic restaurant.
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22. - I mean, it's a
dream for any chef
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23. to have a restaurant here.
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24. Phenomenal pastures,
amazing land.
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25. Great support with the locals.
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26. But to try and
understand the fuckers,
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27. is a completely
different nightmare.
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28. - Hello, and
welcome to teach yourself Welsh.
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29. - Teach
yourself Welsh.
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30. - And
remember to speak out loud.
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31. - Six.
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32. Cunter.
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33. - Cunter.
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34. - First.
(speaks foreign language)
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35. Dim.
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36. - Dim.
- No.
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37. - I feel fucking dim.
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38. - In
this green and pleasant land
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39. lies The Fish and Anchor.
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40. A few years back,
ex-boxer Mike Timinera
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41. won 700 grand on the pools.
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42. It's allowed him to swap
his fish and chip shop
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43. for the pursuit of his
culinary dream.
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44. - I'd like to set a goal of
just achieving something.
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45. Be it, like, you know,
just get one Michelin star.
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46. You know, they put a man on
the moon with no technology.
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47. If you can put a man on
the moon, a Michelin star
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48. don't sound a very big
thing to achieve, does it?
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49. - Mike's
got a plan to make the step up
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50. from the fat fryer to
cooking haute cuisine,
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51. nicking recipes from
cookbooks used in the home,
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52. including mine.
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53. Gordon Ramsay's book there,
Sunday Lunch.
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54. Rick Stein's book,
Gordon Ramsay here again.
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55. I'd like to try and
recreate them
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56. or put my own slant on
a lot of them
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57. Very simply turn them
into something
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58. really special and exciting.
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59. - But there's
a problem in this Italian
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60. stallion's plan for
culinary world domination.
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61. Mike and wife Caron, who
runs the front of house,
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62. just don't see eye to eye.
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63. - Try to run up a hill
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64. with a ball and chain
around your leg.
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65. You know, it's holding you
back, slowing you down.
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66. - He is very critical of
me, and I don't know why
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67. because I do my job and
I do my job bloody well.
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68. - You're supposed to
work with me.
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69. I want you to work with me.
- I am working with you,
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70. you frigging dork.
- Yeah, but you.
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71. Married for 22 years
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72. the couple's arguments
are notorious locally.
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73. Mike and Caron have even got
into trouble with the law
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74. for rowing in public.
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75. - Arsehole!
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76. - We were having a row
and Caron's in my face
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77. so I just pushed her out
of the way, you know.
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78. - Yeah, so I shoved him
back and I screamed back
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79. and I give you a shove as well.
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80. Two-handedly.
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81. These two don't just row
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82. with each other, they also
row with the customers.
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83. It makes for a
stinking reputation
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84. and no one's coming here to eat.
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85. Haemorrhaging a grand a week,
this eatery's heading for
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86. the big chopping
board in the sky.
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87. - Oh, my god.
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88. What is that down there?
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89. That can't be it, can it?
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90. You can't miss that one can you?
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91. Unfortunately, the Germans did.
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92. How are you buddy?
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93. And this is Mike?
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94. - Yeah.
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95. - Mike who's in love with blue.
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96. - Blue, yeah.
(laughs)
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97. - Fuck me, you can't
miss it can you?
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98. - No.
(laughs)
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99. - How are you?
- All right thanks.
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100. - Good, didn't realise
you were so short.
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101. - Well.
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102. - Short and powerful.
- Yeah.
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103. - Hey, how are you?
- How are you?
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104. - And this is?
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105. - Caron, my wife.
- Caron, how are you?
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106. - Very good.
- Nice to see you.
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107. - And you.
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108. - And are you in love
with blue as much as Mike?
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109. - No.
- No.
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110. - No.
- Thank fuck for that.
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111. - Ronaldo, Zola, fuck me.
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112. I didn't know sports bars
existed in the middle of Wales.
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113. It's bright, it's ghastly
and, er, yeah, it's blue.
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114. - And
another addition to this
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115. hall of fame is me.
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116. - God.
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117. - A fish
recipe from one of my cookbooks
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118. using monkfish is on
the menu board.
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119. - It's quite eerie when
you see your own food
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120. on somebody else's menu.
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121. It's for the home cook at home,
not in a fucking restaurant.
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122. This menu's a mishmash
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123. of cookbook recipes.
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124. It's so vast, I'm
dizzy reading it.
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125. - And I'll start with
the soup first
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126. my darling, please, thank you.
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127. - First
off, a nod to the great
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128. Georgia Lockatelly.
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129. - Very chunky,
isn't it?
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130. - Yes.
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131. Well, nice?
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132. - Bloody hell, do you
interrogate all the customers?
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133. - I do.
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134. - You do?
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135. - When, when they're
awkward ones, yes I do.
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136. - Ah, no wonder
they've fucked off.
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137. - No wonder, well, well,
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138. don't be awkward and
facetious then.
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139. - That's the weirdest
looking Minestrone soup
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140. I've ever seen.
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141. - He's being a twat.
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142. - Is he?
- Yeah.
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143. Next up, let's see how
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144. my fish recipe stands up.
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145. - It's got black bream with
a basil and pea bonne famme.
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146. I've changed that, I
still use the bonne famme
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147. but I roast fillet of monkfish.
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148. - Shallots are raw.
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149. Monkfish is actually
quite nice and roasted.
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150. - Finally,
a Madhur Jaffrey tribute.
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151. That well-known Welsh classic,
a chicken korma curry.
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152. - Looks like something out
of a fucking pig's trough.
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153. - We had someone in,
they'd been to Claridges
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154. run by Gordon Ramsay and they
thought that they enjoyed
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155. their food here a lot more than
what they enjoyed it there.
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156. - What the fuck is that?
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157. Welsh snot.
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158. Fuck me, we don't need to
see the dessert, do we?
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159. Jesus.
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160. Shit.
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161. Happy to be here.
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162. - Yeah, yeah.
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163. - Just arrived, sat down,
went through the menu.
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164. You've got everything
and anything on there.
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165. - Part of it comes from,
I see something
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166. and I like the look of it, I
want to put it on the menu.
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167. - But the menu
reads like a trophy shelf.
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168. - Well, I know, it's got a—
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169. - You've gone round and picked
up all these little bits of—
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170. - I know.
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171. - Like a fucking magpie.
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172. - Yeah, yeah.
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173. - Trophy, trophy, trophy.
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174. Stick it on, stick it on,
stick it on.
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175. - Yeah.
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176. - I was really excited
about the fucking soup.
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177. When the soup arrived,
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178. it was just like a mush
of fucking vegetables.
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179. A gunk, it was shocking.
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180. The monkfish, even the
shallots were, like, raw, Mike,
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181. they weren't even cooked,
so it was like a raw onion,
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182. and then the biggest kick
in the bollocks
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183. was the fucking curry,
that was shocking.
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184. Was that Lloyd Grossman sauces?
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185. - No, no.
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186. - Uncle Ben's.
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187. - No, I use a sauce.
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188. - Uncle Ben's?
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189. - Oh, yeah.
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190. - But that's what hurts, it
causes more damage serving that.
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191. I like your fucking passion,
that's clearly there,
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192. but you're not a chef.
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193. - No.
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194. - And that menu's full of
your wish list.
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195. - Yeah.
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196. - Shite.
- Shite.
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197. With no customers,
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198. it's obvious the Fish &
Anchor's reputation is bad.
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199. Time to turn detective
to see just how bad.
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200. - Fish & Anchor.
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201. - There
are clues in cyber-space,
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202. recently posted reviews.
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203. - The food has to be
the best I've ever eaten
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204. home or abroad.
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205. Here's another one.
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206. I've been to Rick Stein's and
I've been to Gordon Ramsay's,
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207. but to find a place
better than them
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208. on my doorstep is a
dream come true.
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209. Mike Burns.
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210. - Strange,
the reviews are good.
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211. So good that there's
something fishy going on here.
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212. - There's three reviews all
written by a guy called Mike.
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213. He's been to Rick Stein's,
he's been to Gordon Ramsay's.
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214. It's all a little bit
too familiar.
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215. To find a better place
than them on my doorstep
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216. is a dream come true.
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217. That little fat fucker.
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218. - Truthfully, okay, and you
don't fucking lie to me now,
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219. nor you.
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220. - Yeah.
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221. - Michael Burns, yeah?
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222. I don't get excited about
food too often,
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223. and having dined at Rick
Stein's and Gordon Ramsay's
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224. I think I've found a better
restaurant in West Wales.
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225. Long live the Fish & Anchor,
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226. recommended, Mike Burns,
Afghanistan.
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227. - Where?
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228. - That's, I don't, that's
Daniel's friend
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229. done that, didn't he?
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230. - Yeah.
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231. - Mike, truthfully, yeah?
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232. And I know the truth.
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233. - Yeah.
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234. - Which one of these three
did you post on there?
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235. - This one.
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236. - Thank you, why?
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237. - Well, we just wanted to,
we, we spoke to someone
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238. and they say people do these
things and time to time
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239. get theirself noticed, and
that's, that's what we done.
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240. - Can you blow torch them,
put some icing sugar on there,
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241. fucking caramelise them or
put them in the fucking bin.
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242. Thank you.
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243. Professional cooking is a
much, much, much tougher job
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244. than people like Mike think so.
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245. You can't just go and nick
recipes from cookbooks
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246. and hey presto, I'm a chef,
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247. and then write your own
fucking reviews.
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248. He's a sitting disaster
waiting to happen.
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249. - Tonight,
I've press-ganged some
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250. reluctant locals into
eating here.
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251. I need to see how Mike
handles cooking
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252. for a full restaurant.
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253. - With such a large
menu like that,
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254. it must be a nightmare, no?
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255. - It is.
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256. - Do customers
wait long for food?
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257. - Not usually.
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258. Mike's confident, I'm not.
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259. His menu's made up of
cookbook recipes designed
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260. for home cooks to
lovingly slave over.
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261. But for one man to try
and cook them from scratch
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262. for a restaurant is madness.
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263. The dishes are just too
complicated to be cooked
quickly.
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264. Mike's running around
like a headless chicken.
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265. - Ah, shit!
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266. I'm doing it the hard way,
I know that.
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267. - Fuck me, you're doing
it the hard way, uh?
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268. What's clear right now,
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269. Mike is obviously not a
fucking chef.
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270. He should be cooking
for three or four tables
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271. at the same time.
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272. He's not, he's only
cooking for one,
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273. so it's like watching
my mum at home
Copy !req
274. cooking for a dinner party.
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275. Two hours into service
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276. and the food's just
not getting out.
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277. - We haven't ordered yet.
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278. - No one's taken your order yet?
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279. - No.
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280. - It's
like a famine.
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281. Customers are staving off
hunger by eating bar snacks.
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282. With an unworkable menu,
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283. the service is spiralling
out of control.
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284. The pressure's on this
husband and wife team,
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285. and these two are going to war.
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286. Mike's even got his own
Welsh battlecry for Caron.
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287. - Ka, Ka!
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288. Ha!
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289. What's going on?
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290. - What do you
mean what's going on?
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291. - These?
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292. - Well, what am I
supposed to do,
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293. they've been there for
fucking hours.
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294. - Ka!
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295. These tables is booked in.
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296. - Yeah.
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297. - It's
fucking ridiculous.
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298. - Well, who's fault is that,
mine is it?
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299. This isn't a marriage,
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300. it's a battlefield.
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301. Their relationship needs
some serious fixing.
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302. Outside, there's more
trouble brewing.
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303. - So it's better for
them to sit there,
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304. where they're more happier.
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305. - Excuse me, we've been waiting
here since eight o'clock,
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306. I'm going home, I
couldn't give a shit
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307. about your crappy bloody pub,
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308. it's an absolute load of shite,
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309. we've got a 70 year old
bloody woman with us and,
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310. and you haven't given us
a bloody shit.
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311. And as for you..
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312. Fuck me, does he hate
Gordon Ramsey's?
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313. - I'm going.
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314. - Well, that's your prerogative,
I did apologise for the,
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315. for the meal and that.
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316. - Yeah, well that's not
good enough, I'm sorry.
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317. - But there's
no need to bloody swear
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318. and shout in front of everybody.
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319. - Well, I'm
sorry, you're a load of crap.
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320. - Yeah, well, don't
bother coming back.
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321. - I shan't,
don't you worry.
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322. - Good.
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323. Bastard.
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324. - I can't
believe what I'm hearing.
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325. There's no stopping this woman.
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326. There's a
misunderstanding over an order,
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327. Caron's going off on one again.
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328. - I've been up since five
o'clock this morning.
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329. - Yeah.
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330. - I've come here
specially for this.
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331. - I know you have.
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332. - And I've got nothing for it.
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333. - Well, who's fault is that?
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334. It's not my fault.
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335. You was the one that said
you was leaving.
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336. - I didn't say I were leaving,
I said—
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337. - You did say you was leaving.
Copy !req
338. - I said some parties of our
fucking thing are leaving.
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339. - Right, now I want
you to leave now
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340. because I don't want
to be sworn at,
Copy !req
341. I've had a titful tonight.
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342. Now, if you want to
swear at me again,
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343. you can leave right now.
Copy !req
344. - There you go, that's
your attitude.
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345. - No, I haven't got a
bloody attitude,
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346. I'm not being sworn at!
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347. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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348. Excuse me.
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349. Out.
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350. Leave it.
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351. Out.
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352. Out.
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353. - I've
spent four fucking hours
Copy !req
354. waiting, fucking—
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355. - Out.
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356. Out.
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357. Out.
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358. Right?
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359. Now, just get in
your car and go.
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360. - Oh, dear.
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361. This is a first for me.
Copy !req
362. I've never, ever seen a customer
Copy !req
363. chucked out of a restaurant
like that before.
Copy !req
364. That is fucking embarrassing,
and no wonder this place
Copy !req
365. is in serious trouble
because that was appalling.
Copy !req
366. What in the fuck have
I got myself into here?
Copy !req
367. Hostilities have ceased
Copy !req
368. Almost half the customers
didn't get served tonight.
Copy !req
369. Mike and Caron have gone AWOL.
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370. The only sense I can get
in this madhouse
Copy !req
371. is from a 17 year old
waitress, Anne Harrad.
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372. - I knew he'd be like this.
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373. - Why?
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374. - Well, he just can't help it.
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375. - No.
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376. - He, he just—
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377. - He talks a lot.
Copy !req
378. - He talks a lot, yeah, he
thinks he can do it but he
can't.
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379. - And all the shouting,
that's not normal is it?
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380. - Yes.
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381. - It's always a battle.
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382. - My god!
- Honest to god.
Copy !req
383. - Tell me how
you're feeling?
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384. - Pissed right off.
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385. - Yep.
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386. - I've had a titful, right?
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387. - Yeah.
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388. - And I couldn't give
two shiny shites
Copy !req
389. if there's a 150 people out
there waiting to get served.
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390. - Caron?
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391. - I feel as sick as a dog
because I've been threatened,
Copy !req
392. I've been called an old tart,
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393. I've been called a
scrubber by customers.
Copy !req
394. I have never, ever, ever
Copy !req
395. had anybody talk to me
like that before.
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396. - What went wrong tonight, Mike,
Copy !req
397. is that you did one
table at a time.
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398. Twenty-one we cooked for and
you made it look like 201.
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399. It's the transformation from
coming out of a cook to a chef.
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400. And I can see where you
shot yourself in the foot,
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401. the fucking menu.
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402. If I was in here and asked
to cook this fucking menu
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403. because you're on your
bed upstairs ill,
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404. I wouldn't even attempt to
do what you did tonight.
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405. One thing, okay, tomorrow,
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406. even before I start
looking at the menu, okay?
Copy !req
407. The two of you.
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408. It's like you're having a
fucking boxing match in here.
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409. It's husband and wife, right?
Copy !req
410. That has to stop tomorrow.
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411. - Yeah.
Copy !req
412. - I see it all the time when
customers are frustrated.
Copy !req
413. The customer's king, Caron, you
can't fucking row with them.
Copy !req
414. It spreads like wildfire.
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415. Fuck me, welcome to Lampeter.
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416. This is a fucking nightmare.
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417. Turning that place around is
gonna take me a lot longer
Copy !req
418. than fucking 12
rounds I tell you.
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419. - I'm
in Lampeter, West Wales,
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420. at the Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
421. Last night's service
was a disaster.
Copy !req
422. If things don't change, this
place is going down, period.
Copy !req
423. It's a reality check for
chef, owner Mike Timinera.
Copy !req
424. This ex-boxer's on the ropes.
(sheep bleating)
Copy !req
425. - It is gutting to know
that you're not
Copy !req
426. Really going in the
right direction.
Copy !req
427. I mean, we're
probably one step up
Copy !req
428. from a truck stop in
reality, that's glorified.
Copy !req
429. I'm still not gonna give up,
I'm still gonna keep going,
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430. you know, but what my aim
to do now is to listen
Copy !req
431. what Gordon says and absorb it
all like, like a sponge if I,
Copy !req
432. as much of it as I can and
point it in the right direction,
Copy !req
433. just draw another deep breath
and come back out fighting.
Copy !req
434. - Time
for a bit of tough love.
Copy !req
435. My opening shot in
helping Mike is to get rid
Copy !req
436. of his comfort blanket, those
cookbooks, including mine.
Copy !req
437. - Right, something that's
fucking destroying you in here,
Copy !req
438. you know that?
Copy !req
439. - Yeah.
Copy !req
440. - Something that is a big
problem in this kitchen,
Copy !req
441. these fucking things.
Copy !req
442. - Right.
Copy !req
443. - Great Recipes of The World.
Copy !req
444. Out.
Copy !req
445. Asian Cooking by Uncle Ben.
Copy !req
446. Sunday Lunch, not
interested in that.
Copy !req
447. Make It Easy, not
interested in that.
Copy !req
448. Rick Stein, Mediterranean,
not interested in that.
Copy !req
449. Come Play With Jamie,
not interested in that.
Copy !req
450. And Rick Stein's French Odyssey,
bang.
Copy !req
451. Get your coat, we're going
down to the charity shop
Copy !req
452. and we're gonna give
something back to Lampeter.
Copy !req
453. Readers Digest?
Copy !req
454. - I don't know where they come
from, they come from here.
Copy !req
455. - Oh, fucking hell,
don't tell me
Copy !req
456. you were going to give it up.
Copy !req
457. - We've had them, I've
had them for—
Copy !req
458. - Open the car door please.
Copy !req
459. - I've had them for 20 years.
Copy !req
460. Everything I've seen,
Copy !req
461. points to Mike trying
to be someone he's not.
Copy !req
462. Mock reviews, using
other people's recipes.
Copy !req
463. To help him, I need to
find the real Mike,
Copy !req
464. starting with his
Italian heritage.
Copy !req
465. - Who's that
gentleman there?
Copy !req
466. - That's my grandfather.
Copy !req
467. - Wow, er, Italian?
Copy !req
468. - Yeah.
- Yeah, lovely.
Copy !req
469. From where?
Copy !req
470. - From Naples.
Copy !req
471. - And?
Copy !req
472. - And that's his
parents, my great-grandparents.
Copy !req
473. - Wow!
Copy !req
474. Again from Naples?
Copy !req
475. - Again from Naples.
Copy !req
476. They, they were farmers,
just worked the land,
Copy !req
477. they were poor, put in
salt in it, a poor area.
Copy !req
478. - Wow, so it's quite
Copy !req
479. an Italian historic tree there.
Copy !req
480. - Yeah.
Copy !req
481. - And that lady is?
Copy !req
482. - That's my grandmother.
Copy !req
483. Basically who I'd learnt to
do a lot of Italian cooking,
Copy !req
484. you know, basically that,
that's, that's who I am.
Copy !req
485. You know, we're, we're,
we're proud of it.
Copy !req
486. - There's
been an Italian community
Copy !req
487. in West Wales for years.
Copy !req
488. Mike's passionate about
this heritage.
Copy !req
489. I plan to channel that
passion into his cooking
Copy !req
490. by making a classic
Italian dish.
Copy !req
491. My starting point, a nearby
organic vegetable farm.
Copy !req
492. - Peter, how are you?
Copy !req
493. - Very well.
- Good to see you well.
Copy !req
494. - Nice to see you, and you.
- Likewise.
Copy !req
495. - Hello.
- There's Mike.
Copy !req
496. - Hello Mike.
- How are you?
Copy !req
497. - Very well.
Copy !req
498. - Mike's from the Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
499. - We need a good service
tonight, yeah, and we're going
to
Copy !req
500. come up with a dish that
can get some traffic through
Copy !req
501. the restaurant without becoming
too concentrated and stuck.
Copy !req
502. - I'm
taking Mike back to his roots.
Copy !req
503. Here, they grow the
very tomatoes
Copy !req
504. he tasted when he was a kid.
Copy !req
505. - So, what
are they called?
Copy !req
506. - These are
called San Marzano.
Copy !req
507. - San Marzano.
Copy !req
508. - And they're
specifically for making sauces.
Copy !req
509. - Yeah.
Copy !req
510. When was the last time you
came picking tomatoes, Mike?
Copy !req
511. - On my grandparents
farm in Italy,
Copy !req
512. that's the last time I
picked tomatoes.
Copy !req
513. Really, which was how long ago?
Copy !req
514. - 30 years ago or more.
Copy !req
515. Oh, these are beautiful.
Copy !req
516. - This is like being in a
candy shop, uh?
Copy !req
517. Absolutely phenomenal,
look at it.
Copy !req
518. - Yeah.
- Everywhere.
Copy !req
519. And the different variety—
Copy !req
520. - It's been many years since
I've tasted a tomato like that.
Copy !req
521. - Uh?
Copy !req
522. - It's
time for Mike to cook
Copy !req
523. from his heart and
not cookbooks.
Copy !req
524. His grandmother's recipe
for spaghetti and meatballs.
Copy !req
525. - Explain the
perfect meatball.
Copy !req
526. - Good minced meat.
Copy !req
527. - Yes, a
combination of beef and pork.
Copy !req
528. - Thyme.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
529. - Parsley.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
530. Proper colour.
- Garlic, chilli.
Copy !req
531. - Mm hmm.
Copy !req
532. - Parmesan cheese.
Copy !req
533. - Good.
Copy !req
534. Could you say it was
your grandmother
Copy !req
535. who inspired you how to cook?
Copy !req
536. Would you say that's
where it started?
Copy !req
537. - Yes, yes.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
538. 'Cause you're quite a
passionate little fucker
Copy !req
539. inside aren't you?
Copy !req
540. - Yeah.
Copy !req
541. - Uh?
- Yes.
Copy !req
542. Mike's not a chef yet.
Copy !req
543. He struggles cooking
for a full restaurant.
Copy !req
544. These meatballs are the
first step in helping him.
Copy !req
545. - Right, the emphasis of
tonight's service is what?
Copy !req
546. - Is to get
the tables to—
Copy !req
547. - Speed.
Copy !req
548. - Speed.
Copy !req
549. - Speed, yeah.
Copy !req
550. Speed, speed, speed.
Copy !req
551. - Multiple
portions can be pre-prepared
Copy !req
552. and served up in a
matter of minutes.
Copy !req
553. - I don't care
whether you've got
Copy !req
554. ten booked or twenty booked
Copy !req
555. I don't want customers waiting
Copy !req
556. for that length of time again,
yeah?
Copy !req
557. - Now I'm going to cook
from within myself.
Copy !req
558. Finding what's within myself
and put that on a plate.
Copy !req
559. - Do me a favour.
Copy !req
560. Rub off that shit fucking
Tikka Massala, Balti,
Copy !req
561. Korma crap fucking shit
off of there, yes.
Copy !req
562. All off, one big swipe.
Copy !req
563. There you go, bang!
Copy !req
564. Korma's off, yes?
Copy !req
565. What's your wife's name?
Copy !req
566. - Caron.
Copy !req
567. - Ah!
Copy !req
568. Ah!
Copy !req
569. Can you call her Caron tonight?
Copy !req
570. - Caron.
Copy !req
571. - Yeah, no, but can you do it
in a really affectionate way
Copy !req
572. that you fucking love her?
Copy !req
573. - Yeah.
Copy !req
574. - As this is a husband
and wife team.
Copy !req
575. Because the minute you
two start fucking showing
Copy !req
576. some form of affection and
respect, everyone else follows.
Copy !req
577. Ah!
Copy !req
578. That was you grunting
like a troll,
Copy !req
579. looking for your
fucking spanner.
Copy !req
580. No, but, it, serious.
Copy !req
581. And I was standing there
like this thinking,
Copy !req
582. fucking hell, this guy's fucking
bonkers, what's he smoking?
Copy !req
583. Tonight, I'm gonna show Mike
Copy !req
584. how meatballs speed up service.
Copy !req
585. This place looks like
a sports bar,
Copy !req
586. so I've invited the local
rugby club, 15 strapping lads,
Copy !req
587. and they're starving hungry.
Copy !req
588. - Are you on half term?
Copy !req
589. - No.
Copy !req
590. - We get that 15 out,
yeah?
Copy !req
591. - Right.
Copy !req
592. - That's over one third of the
dining room cooked for, okay?
Copy !req
593. Come on.
(claps hands)
Copy !req
594. It's taken just minutes
Copy !req
595. to serve up the meatballs
to the rugby lads.
Copy !req
596. Job done.
Copy !req
597. - 15 gone, yes?
Copy !req
598. - Yeah, right, 15 gone.
Copy !req
599. - We couldn't even get 12
starters out last night, yeah?
Copy !req
600. - Yeah, these are nice yeah,
spot on, nice and spicy.
Copy !req
601. Very good, I think.
Copy !req
602. - They
look like faggots.
Copy !req
603. - They're, er, they
look like faggots
Copy !req
604. but they taste like meatballs,
Mike.
Copy !req
605. It's called cuisine man.
Copy !req
606. The kitchen's starting
Copy !req
607. to come together.
Copy !req
608. Out front, it's a
different story.
Copy !req
609. The restaurant's busy but
where's Caron?
Copy !req
610. - Sorry.
Copy !req
611. Be two seconds please,
sorry buddy, thank you.
Copy !req
612. You're not smoking, are you?
Copy !req
613. Yes or no?
Copy !req
614. - Yes.
Copy !req
615. - That's disgusting.
Copy !req
616. Come on Caron please, now, I
need everybody's help tonight.
Copy !req
617. Come on please.
Copy !req
618. - Right, okay.
Copy !req
619. - Yeah.
Copy !req
620. Ridiculous, come on.
Copy !req
621. He's busting his arse off
there, you're outside smoking.
Copy !req
622. Take the order of six, please.
Copy !req
623. - Now?
- Now.
Copy !req
624. - Well, he told me two minutes.
Copy !req
625. - Er, Caron, he told
you two minutes.
Copy !req
626. - Yes.
Copy !req
627. - But does that mean to
say you've got to go out
Copy !req
628. and smoke a cigarette?
Copy !req
629. - No, I didn't know.
Copy !req
630. - I thought you were
running the restaurant?
Copy !req
631. - I am.
Copy !req
632. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
633. - Dear, oh, dear.
Copy !req
634. I'm not convinced with her.
Copy !req
635. This, for me, is someone taking
the piss like they're just
Copy !req
636. going out tonight for a
fucking game of bingo.
Copy !req
637. She's got to attack it,
run it and observe it.
Copy !req
638. But you can't disappear every
30 seconds for a cigarette,
Copy !req
639. for a cigarette.
Copy !req
640. What about customers arriving
Copy !req
641. and one of the owners
outside puffing away.
Copy !req
642. What kind of message is
that sending to anybody?
Copy !req
643. - Caron's
standards are sloppy,
Copy !req
644. and it's showing.
Copy !req
645. Now there's confusion
over a table's order.
Copy !req
646. - One fricassee
Copy !req
647. One monkfish, three halibut.
Copy !req
648. - Two steaks.
- And two fillets.
Copy !req
649. - Yeah, let's count
this off shall we?
Copy !req
650. - Yeah.
Copy !req
651. - Two plus three is five.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
652. - Plus six.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
653. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
654. - Seven.
Copy !req
655. You're missing a main course.
Copy !req
656. We cooked exactly
what you wrote.
Copy !req
657. Can you go and ask the lady
Copy !req
658. what she ordered please,
urgently?
Copy !req
659. - So the man on the end?
Copy !req
660. - Venison.
Copy !req
661. - Oh, come on.
Copy !req
662. One venison in
straightaway please.
Copy !req
663. Okay.
Copy !req
664. - The last venison for—
Copy !req
665. - Okay, let me ask you
a question now, yeah,
Copy !req
666. without getting defensive
and running off in a strop.
Copy !req
667. - No I won't, no I won't.
Copy !req
668. - Why did you forget the
venison on the order?
Copy !req
669. - Because two people
ordered the venison
Copy !req
670. and then the both of them.
Copy !req
671. - You crossed it off?
Copy !req
672. - Yeah, but they, both
of them cancelled it
Copy !req
673. and then, and then it was a
halibut to go back on and then
Copy !req
674. he ordered the venison again
and I forgot to put it back on.
Copy !req
675. - Okay, yeah, you forgot
to write it on.
Copy !req
676. - Yeah.
Copy !req
677. - Tomorrow.
- Yes.
Copy !req
678. - We're having a lesson
in taking orders.
Copy !req
679. - Yeah.
Copy !req
680. - Okay?
- Fine.
Copy !req
681. - Don't get upset.
Copy !req
682. - I'm not getting upset.
Copy !req
683. - We're in the shit,
we look stupid.
Copy !req
684. - No you don't,
Copy !req
685. because I've just told
them it's my fault.
Copy !req
686. - No, let me, let me finish.
Copy !req
687. Let, listen, let me just finish.
Copy !req
688. - Yeah.
Copy !req
689. - By the time the venison's
cooked and rested.
Copy !req
690. - Yeah.
Copy !req
691. - The existing customers
around the table,
Copy !req
692. their fellow guests will
be on fucking dessert.
Copy !req
693. - But—
Copy !req
694. - We as a unit look stupid.
Copy !req
695. - Yeah.
Copy !req
696. - Please don't tell me
any different, because—
Copy !req
697. - I'm not telling
you any different.
Copy !req
698. - Don't start shouting.
Copy !req
699. - I'm not shouting, but you—
Copy !req
700. - You'll run off in a
minute and start smoking.
Copy !req
701. - No I, no I won't, but
you're always in big,
Copy !req
702. you're always willing to give—
Copy !req
703. - Can you just concentrate?
Copy !req
704. - To give bloody screaming—
Copy !req
705. - So it's my fault now?
Copy !req
706. - It's not, your, I've
just told you it was,
Copy !req
707. I've just told them
it's my fault.
Copy !req
708. - We look stupid.
Copy !req
709. - Yes I do.
Copy !req
710. - We!
Copy !req
711. - But you, no you don't,
because I've just told them
Copy !req
712. it's my fault.
Copy !req
713. I've just told them what I've—
Copy !req
714. - You don't get it, do you?
Copy !req
715. - Yes I do!
Copy !req
716. - You don't get it.
Copy !req
717. - Oh, Gordon, you just love
to, that's all you've done
Copy !req
718. for the last two days,
you've said fuck all to him.
Copy !req
719. But, no, that's all it is,
is every time I come out here
Copy !req
720. I'm still not sure about you.
Copy !req
721. That's all you've
said all night.
Copy !req
722. - Are you
gonna run away now?
Copy !req
723. - No I'm not, I'm going
out to see my customers.
Copy !req
724. - Customers
can hear you.
Copy !req
725. Customers can hear you.
Copy !req
726. - Yeah, and they can
hear you as well.
Copy !req
727. - Is this what it's like?
Copy !req
728. She forgets to write a venison
Copy !req
729. and then shouts, and
screams, and runs off.
Copy !req
730. - Yeah, well, I
have a go at her as well.
Copy !req
731. I have a go at you
when you do that.
Copy !req
732. - I've just gone out to my—
Copy !req
733. - Please stop
shouting and close the door.
Copy !req
734. - And then you
scream at me so I—
Copy !req
735. - I've gone out.
- Close the door.
Copy !req
736. Let's stop the
embarrassment further.
Copy !req
737. - No, I'll talk to Mike.
Copy !req
738. - Oh, fuck off.
Copy !req
739. - I've gone out there.
Copy !req
740. - I know what you
said, I heard what you said.
Copy !req
741. - I will fuck off.
Copy !req
742. - What I was trying
to say to her,
Copy !req
743. is there any way she
could recommend a meatball
Copy !req
744. that's cooked so we
can get it out quickly?
Copy !req
745. - Yeah.
Copy !req
746. - Rather than cooking
the venison.
Copy !req
747. - With having a chance
to get it out?
Copy !req
748. - Yeah, I can't even get a
fucking word in edgeways.
Copy !req
749. At eight o'clock this evening,
I'm sweating my bollocks off
Copy !req
750. trying to get this
place up to speed
Copy !req
751. and she's outside
having a cigarette.
Copy !req
752. - Ka.
Copy !req
753. - Ding, ding, round fucking two.
Copy !req
754. - You want him, get off
Copy !req
755. - Get, shut up,
get it out.
Copy !req
756. What he was—
Copy !req
757. - I am not being
told to fuck off.
Copy !req
758. - Shut your mouth
and listen to me.
Copy !req
759. You're doing the same,
you're not listening to me,
Copy !req
760. same as you don't listen to him.
Copy !req
761. - I told him it
was my fault.
Copy !req
762. - You're, see, you're doing
it now, you're doing it now.
Copy !req
763. You're doing it now.
Copy !req
764. - Yeah.
Copy !req
765. - You're not letting me finish
Copy !req
766. like you wouldn't
let him finish.
Copy !req
767. - And he wouldn't let me finish.
Copy !req
768. - Look, you're doing it again.
Copy !req
769. You're doing it again.
Copy !req
770. What he was gonna say
after he finished
Copy !req
771. telling you what you'd done.
Copy !req
772. - Yeah.
Copy !req
773. - The next thing he was going
to say is, I'll tell you what,
Copy !req
774. why don't you try and get to
sell him the last meatballs
Copy !req
775. to get it out for the night.
Copy !req
776. But you didn't give it
a chance, because, bang,
Copy !req
777. you was there down the
throat again.
Copy !req
778. Now, I'd like you to get
behind the bar
Copy !req
779. where you should be and get
Jane out from behind there
Copy !req
780. because she's not allowed
behind there, right?
Copy !req
781. Stop.
Copy !req
782. - Don't expect me
back tomorrow.
Copy !req
783. Fuck off.
Copy !req
784. - Just get it done.
Copy !req
785. - Fuck off.
Copy !req
786. - No, just get it done.
Copy !req
787. You can't take it Kazzie,
can you?
Copy !req
788. - No, I can take it but I don't
like being told to fuck off.
Copy !req
789. - The
venison finally gets served.
Copy !req
790. - I'm deeply concerned.
Copy !req
791. - Yeah.
Copy !req
792. - For the shouting
and screaming.
Copy !req
793. You're screwing the business,
Copy !req
794. and the quicker you learn
to control your temper.
Copy !req
795. - Yeah.
Copy !req
796. - The quicker you're
gonna run your business.
Copy !req
797. For the better.
Copy !req
798. Let me finish, okay?
Copy !req
799. - Oh! But I'm not allowed
to finish anything
Copy !req
800. I was saying to you earlier,
Copy !req
801. that's what I was trying
to say to you.
Copy !req
802. - Well, let him finish
and then have your turn.
Copy !req
803. - Is this a
competition between you and I?
Copy !req
804. - No it's not, no.
Copy !req
805. - Let him finish and
then you have your turn.
Copy !req
806. - I don't know
what you want me to say.
Copy !req
807. - There you go again.
Copy !req
808. - But I, I've gone out
there, I've apologised.
Copy !req
809. I can't do any more.
Copy !req
810. - You can't run around like
fucking Shrek in a frock
Copy !req
811. and then expect us to
pick up the pieces,
Copy !req
812. you've got to have some
form of control, Caron.
Copy !req
813. You're more concerned about you
Copy !req
814. as opposed about committed
to the business side.
Copy !req
815. - I am not.
Copy !req
816. I am not.
Copy !req
817. - So you make a mistake—
Copy !req
818. - So if you want to go
along with this Mike,
Copy !req
819. go along with it, right.
Copy !req
820. - Look Ka.
Copy !req
821. - Oh, so you're
throwing the towel in?
Copy !req
822. - I am not—
- Stop it, stop it—
Copy !req
823. - Throwing the towel in, Gordon.
Copy !req
824. - Talk to, talk to me.
Copy !req
825. - Winding yourself up, stop it.
Copy !req
826. - Why do you work
yourself up like this?
Copy !req
827. - Because I've tried to tell
you, I've gone out there,
Copy !req
828. I've apologised, I can't
do any more out there.
Copy !req
829. - Let me help you.
Copy !req
830. - Help me do what?
Copy !req
831. - Run the dining room properly.
Copy !req
832. - Yes you can.
Copy !req
833. - I'm just asking you
not to snap.
Copy !req
834. There's twenty mistakes
going on in every restaurant
Copy !req
835. across Britain every night,
we have to control them.
Copy !req
836. Your problem is one mistake,
Copy !req
837. you lose the fucking plot,
my dear.
Copy !req
838. - Yeah, but if you—
Copy !req
839. - Please calm down.
Copy !req
840. - I am.
Copy !req
841. - Because then we can work
at it together.
Copy !req
842. We've finished work, go
outside, have a nice cigarette.
Copy !req
843. - Thank you.
Copy !req
844. - Get some fresh air.
Copy !req
845. - Can I have a cigarette now?
Copy !req
846. - Uh?
Copy !req
847. - Thank you for your help again.
Copy !req
848. - Not at all.
Copy !req
849. Hey, we got through it.
Copy !req
850. - You sort of come like
the fucking Italian Job
Copy !req
851. where the bus is on the
edge of the cliff
Copy !req
852. and you've sort of arrived
just at the right time.
Copy !req
853. I'm like that bus,
ready to go over.
Copy !req
854. - Get some fresh air.
Copy !req
855. - Okay.
Copy !req
856. - Thank you.
Copy !req
857. - Just leave me.
Copy !req
858. - Come here.
Copy !req
859. - Just leave it.
Copy !req
860. - Come here.
Copy !req
861. Don't—
Copy !req
862. - Leave it.
Copy !req
863. - Look at me, look at me now.
Copy !req
864. - I want to be left alone.
Copy !req
865. - Look at me, look at me
for 30 seconds, right.
Copy !req
866. Just bear with it, right,
it's hard, it's only one week,
Copy !req
867. right, and we're gonna get
it over and done with, right,
Copy !req
868. and we'll be back on
the right road.
Copy !req
869. Just get it all over and
done with, right.
Copy !req
870. - Don't try and be reasonable,
Michael.
Copy !req
871. - I'm not Ka, right?
Copy !req
872. - Because if you spoke to me
like that, what would you have?
Copy !req
873. - I know that, right, but
I have overriding respect,
Copy !req
874. right, for the man here
is trying to help us
Copy !req
875. put the business right.
Copy !req
876. - Yes, I have as well.
Copy !req
877. (Gordon chuckles)
- Oh, fuck me!
Copy !req
878. - I'm
in Lampeter, West Wales,
Copy !req
879. at the Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
880. I've been here for two
nights of madness and mayhem
Copy !req
881. with the owners rowing
with everyone.
Copy !req
882. They've gone for each other.
Copy !req
883. - And he wouldn't let me finish!
Copy !req
884. - Look, you're doing it again!
Copy !req
885. - I got
it in the neck.
Copy !req
886. - So it's my fault now?
Copy !req
887. - It's not, I just told you
it wasn't, I just told them.
Copy !req
888. - They've
even thrown out customers.
Copy !req
889. - Out, just get in
your car and go.
Copy !req
890. - I'm
hitting the streets to find out
Copy !req
891. how Mike and Caron's rows
have affected public opinion.
Copy !req
892. - And what's the reputation?
Copy !req
893. - Bad.
Copy !req
894. - I used to go there quite a
lot but, erm, I got put off
Copy !req
895. by the, erm, intense
atmosphere, put it that way.
Copy !req
896. - Perhaps, they're a bit
quick tempered maybe.
Copy !req
897. - Uh huh.
Copy !req
898. - With the customers.
Copy !req
899. - I think the, er, the landlord,
um,
Copy !req
900. may not always be the
most cheerful of people.
Copy !req
901. - What I've heard and, heard
of him, he's a bit of a tosser.
Copy !req
902. - If people sort of say,
well, don't go there,
Copy !req
903. there's argy-bargies going
on, you just won't go there.
Copy !req
904. - The
Fish & Anchor's reputation
Copy !req
905. is rock bottom.
Copy !req
906. Now I've heard that Mike's
got into trouble with the law
Copy !req
907. for rowing with locals.
Copy !req
908. I'm turning marriage counsellor
to make Mike and Caron
Copy !req
909. realise that their
arguing must stop.
Copy !req
910. If it doesn't, I can't
save the Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
911. - Well, I had a
conviction for a public disorder
Copy !req
912. I mean, not much
more than a row.
Copy !req
913. - Yeah.
Copy !req
914. - I'm not proud of the
fact that I've done it.
Copy !req
915. - Whether they're right, you're
right, it doesn't matter.
Copy !req
916. But what I'm trying to say
in a business point of view,
Copy !req
917. we can't wash our dirty linen
in public, and I don't know
Copy !req
918. if you really understand
how bad the reputation is.
Copy !req
919. - The only arguments that,
that, that are witnessed is,
Copy !req
920. here is that it's, it's
all work related,
Copy !req
921. you know, kitchen stuff.
Copy !req
922. - Right, yeah.
Copy !req
923. - Nothing personal whatsoever.
Copy !req
924. Absolutely nothing.
Copy !req
925. - Okay.
Copy !req
926. But what I'm trying to say is
that the, you don't go at it—
Copy !req
927. - But—
Copy !req
928. - You don't go
at it in a small manner.
Copy !req
929. - No, I understand what you say,
it,
Copy !req
930. it affects some of
the customers.
Copy !req
931. - It's the severity of it.
Copy !req
932. - I keep saying to him
there's people in the bar,
Copy !req
933. you can hear, they can hear you.
Copy !req
934. And—
Copy !req
935. - But Caron, you're
both as bad as one another.
Copy !req
936. - I know we are.
Copy !req
937. - And what I want to say that,
I'm just trying to say that
Copy !req
938. we have to turn the
fucking corner.
Copy !req
939. Now, surely you want to?
Copy !req
940. - Of course I do.
Copy !req
941. - And surely you want to?
Copy !req
942. And I want to change it
for the best,
Copy !req
943. and you both need to work
at it together
Copy !req
944. and I'll help you with that.
Copy !req
945. You, you, you love each
other deep down inside,
Copy !req
946. but I don't get that
fucking feeling
Copy !req
947. so I just want it run
by a husband and wife
Copy !req
948. that are supporting each other.
Copy !req
949. Yeah?
Copy !req
950. - I know I've got to calm down,
Copy !req
951. take a chill pill and just
don't get upset over nothing.
Copy !req
952. - We want, er, the
reputation as a restaurant
Copy !req
953. and for ourselves to be as
good as the food we turn out,
Copy !req
954. you know, it's just as
important, and I think,
Copy !req
955. er, Gordon has, has
made that clear.
Copy !req
956. - That went really well, I
mean, I'd like to think that
Copy !req
957. they both got the message
and I think they listened,
Copy !req
958. and I want the locals to
understand that there's more
Copy !req
959. to the Fish & Anchor than
just fucking arguments.
Copy !req
960. So that has to stop.
Copy !req
961. Now, I can't change the
reputation overnight,
Copy !req
962. but what I can do is change
this place and help give a new
Copy !req
963. identity and put it back
on the map in Lampeter.
Copy !req
964. - My plan
is to draw Mike's Italian roots
Copy !req
965. and turn the Fish & Anchor
into an Italian restaurant.
Copy !req
966. First up, get rid of
Mike's unworkable menu,
Copy !req
967. it'll make everyone's
life a lot easier.
Copy !req
968. I've also arranged some
temporary help from the local
Copy !req
969. catering college to get a
new menu up and running.
Copy !req
970. - Mike, Caron, can
I introduce you to somebody?
Copy !req
971. - Yes.
Copy !req
972. - This is Kelly.
- Yes, hello Kelly.
Copy !req
973. - Yes?
Caron.
Copy !req
974. Mike, this is Kelly.
Copy !req
975. - Hello.
- Hi.
Copy !req
976. - To make things faster
and easier for you,
Copy !req
977. I want you to open up and
work with Kelly.
Copy !req
978. - I've
designed a streamlined
Copy !req
979. Italian menu specially for Mike.
Copy !req
980. - Six starters, six
mains and three desserts.
Copy !req
981. Except there's two of you here
tonight and we go together.
Copy !req
982. The bass, salmon, monkfish,
prawns
Copy !req
983. and shallots with garlic
is rustic, easy fish stew.
Copy !req
984. - This
new menu's idiot proof.
Copy !req
985. He'll be able to cook
top quality,
Copy !req
986. rustic dishes easily
and quickly.
Copy !req
987. - Tiger prawns in.
Copy !req
988. A tablespoon of pesto,
and pine nuts, over,
Copy !req
989. drain off our pasta, and look,
we're away.
Copy !req
990. We're not fucking running over
there, running over there.
Copy !req
991. - Just one step and
introduction—
Copy !req
992. - It's here and away,
boom!
Copy !req
993. These dishes will fly out
Copy !req
994. of the kitchen.
Copy !req
995. It'll make for a less
pressurised service,
Copy !req
996. and no stress will help
Mike and Caron stop rowing.
Copy !req
997. - So it was
literally two minutes
Copy !req
998. to put that dish together.
Copy !req
999. - You could do that
while they're clearing.
Copy !req
1000. - Absolutely.
Copy !req
1001. - The most important thing
from the menu is the speed
Copy !req
1002. with which we can put
everything together, I mean,
Copy !req
1003. it's completely, defuels
any problems or stress
Copy !req
1004. and strains within the kitchen,
erm, of having to try and,
Copy !req
1005. you know, unlike the old menu,
Copy !req
1006. trying to achieve something
that's almost unachievable.
Copy !req
1007. - If he's not stressed
in the kitchen,
Copy !req
1008. we're not gonna be arguing,
because he's not screaming
Copy !req
1009. and shouting and me and
I haven't got nothing to
Copy !req
1010. shout at him back for.
Copy !req
1011. - I've got
more than the menu to fix.
Copy !req
1012. The key to any
restaurant's success
Copy !req
1013. is creating a
welcoming atmosphere.
Copy !req
1014. Meeting Caron is like
coming face to face
Copy !req
1015. with an uptight Welsh dragon.
Copy !req
1016. She's got to relax.
Copy !req
1017. - Sometimes when you go to the
table, your face, honestly,
Copy !req
1018. I mean, the only thing that's
missing is a wasp, you know.
Copy !req
1019. I swear to god,
you're like that.
Copy !req
1020. It's intense and it's like.
Copy !req
1021. What the fuck you gonna order?
Copy !req
1022. What the fuck you gonna order?
Copy !req
1023. Do you know?
Copy !req
1024. So I want you to relax with it.
Copy !req
1025. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1026. - Some
brave souls have volunteered
Copy !req
1027. to act as guinea pig customers.
Copy !req
1028. It'll allow me to observe
Caron and the waitresses
Copy !req
1029. closely and lend a helping hand.
Copy !req
1030. - Have you been with us before
or is it your first time?
Copy !req
1031. Mains?
Copy !req
1032. - Sea bass,
please.
Copy !req
1033. - Waitresses
Ann Harrad and Menna shine.
Copy !req
1034. Professional, courteous.
Copy !req
1035. Caron's turn.
Copy !req
1036. She's like the ice
maiden, completely frozen.
Copy !req
1037. Time for a pep talk.
Copy !req
1038. - When the customers come in,
Copy !req
1039. greet them as if you need them.
Copy !req
1040. - Yes.
Copy !req
1041. - Don't kiss their arse.
Copy !req
1042. - No.
Copy !req
1043. - But make them feel welcome.
Copy !req
1044. - Take two.
Copy !req
1045. She's talking, she's listening
Copy !req
1046. But she's scary.
Copy !req
1047. - Smile.
Copy !req
1048. - I am smiling.
Copy !req
1049. One last try.
Copy !req
1050. Bingo, a smile.
Copy !req
1051. - How are you?
Copy !req
1052. - Very well, thank you.
Copy !req
1053. - Crab cakes are very
good, so is the mushrooms.
Copy !req
1054. - A full
on Caron charm offensive.
Copy !req
1055. - The old man's a chef
Copy !req
1056. He's not the husband,
it's the old man.
Copy !req
1057. Yes.
Copy !req
1058. - I was testing you all,
not to make you look stupid
Copy !req
1059. but to make the
service friendlier
Copy !req
1060. so we're not like this,
like we're still, yeah.
Copy !req
1061. What do you want?
Copy !req
1062. Yeah, what do you want?
Copy !req
1063. What do you recommend?
Copy !req
1064. You've got such a lovely smile
Copy !req
1065. when you're in the dining room,
Copy !req
1066. people want to see you in here.
Copy !req
1067. Push it.
Copy !req
1068. - Yes.
Copy !req
1069. - The day
of the re-launch of the new
Copy !req
1070. Fish & Anchor, but before it
can be an Italian restaurant,
Copy !req
1071. the awful sports bar
decor has to go.
Copy !req
1072. - I want to bring a breath
of fresh air in here.
Copy !req
1073. We're leaning towards
something in connection
Copy !req
1074. with your grandparents,
Italian, so it's, you know,
Copy !req
1075. a country fare, it's warm,
it's rustic
Copy !req
1076. and it's, it's inviting.
Copy !req
1077. Builders are here.
Copy !req
1078. (hand claps)
Let's go.
Copy !req
1079. While she's in a good mood,
yeah, can we get it going, yeah?
Copy !req
1080. Just in case she turns, yeah?
Copy !req
1081. Catch that smile, yeah,
it's like the eclipse,
Copy !req
1082. comes round once
every four years.
Copy !req
1083. It's a fresh start for
the Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
1084. This new look will help make
for a relaxed atmosphere,
Copy !req
1085. perfect for welcoming
back customers.
Copy !req
1086. - Fucking hell.
Copy !req
1087. - Like a breath of fresh air.
Copy !req
1088. That's what happens when first
you go down the wrong road
Copy !req
1089. and you can't see it, can't
see the wood for the trees.
Copy !req
1090. And finally,
Copy !req
1091. Mike's free of his
unworkable menu.
Copy !req
1092. - Just by getting rid of
what was on that wall,
Copy !req
1093. that board and removing
that from my life
Copy !req
1094. has been like lifting the
world off my shoulders.
Copy !req
1095. - Time to
unveil the new look to the
Copy !req
1096. waitresses, Anne
Harrad and Menna.
Copy !req
1097. - Gone, gone has the blue.
Copy !req
1098. Look at the carpet.
Copy !req
1099. - Oh, my god, it's cream.
Copy !req
1100. - Uh?
Copy !req
1101. - Nice and light, it's not
as dark as it used to be.
Copy !req
1102. — Nice, Menna,
what do you think darling?
Copy !req
1103. - Not dingy and oh, it's fresh.
Copy !req
1104. - It's fresh
and cheerful.
Copy !req
1105. - With
the restaurant sorted,
Copy !req
1106. it's time to deal with the
most crucial bit of the
Copy !req
1107. re-launch, winning the trust
of the people of Lampeter.
Copy !req
1108. I've arranged a ride into
town to promote
Copy !req
1109. the new Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
1110. - Right.
Copy !req
1111. Look at you.
Copy !req
1112. Building bridges.
Copy !req
1113. We're down off to Lampeter, yes.
Copy !req
1114. We're gonna get the
message out there.
Copy !req
1115. I'm gonna shout from the
rooftops the style, yes?
Copy !req
1116. What you're doing, where
it's coming from,
Copy !req
1117. why we're doing it and we're
gonna build some bridges.
Copy !req
1118. And the reputation is
gonna be changed, yes?
Copy !req
1119. Leaflets, hay bales, canapes
and get your arse in there.
Copy !req
1120. Hold on tight.
Copy !req
1121. - It's
the start of the long road
Copy !req
1122. to rebuilding this
place's reputation.
Copy !req
1123. - Get down to the Fish & Anchor,
Copy !req
1124. fantastic rustic Italian food.
Copy !req
1125. - Mike
needs to rub shoulders with
Copy !req
1126. the locals and he's using his
meatballs to win them over.
Copy !req
1127. - Try one?
Copy !req
1128. Go on, they're lovely
Copy !req
1129. - Get down to
the Fish & Anchor,
Copy !req
1130. delicious meatballs,
wonderful pastas.
Copy !req
1131. - With no
Italian restaurants in Lampeter
Copy !req
1132. there's plenty to shout about.
Copy !req
1133. A classy menu and a new look,
Copy !req
1134. and most important, a
friendlier service.
Copy !req
1135. - I can confirm that Caron's
agreed to stop arguing.
Copy !req
1136. Yes or no?
Copy !req
1137. - Yes.
Copy !req
1138. - Caron has stopped
scaring the customers.
Copy !req
1139. She's turned a new leaf.
Copy !req
1140. She loves you all.
Copy !req
1141. If Mike and Caron start
rowing tonight,
Copy !req
1142. they'll undo all the hard work.
Copy !req
1143. So I've got a plan.
Copy !req
1144. If they get stressed, rather
than tearing strips off
Copy !req
1145. each other I'm introducing
an anger management prop.
Copy !req
1146. - Right, services are
quite stressful, yes?
Copy !req
1147. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1148. - Tonight, if we get 'strated,
Copy !req
1149. you and you are on the
naughty step.
Copy !req
1150. Bang.
Copy !req
1151. Over there.
Copy !req
1152. There, off you go.
Copy !req
1153. Get in there big boy, come on,
Copy !req
1154. get some welly behind it, Caron.
Copy !req
1155. Careful you don't get
knocked out.
Copy !req
1156. One big one, good girl.
Copy !req
1157. Well done, well done, well done.
Copy !req
1158. Ohh! Well done.
Copy !req
1159. So, just take it out on that,
yes?
Copy !req
1160. And you want to scream
Copy !req
1161. and you want to fuck off
outside for a cigarette.
Copy !req
1162. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1163. - Yes? Take
it out on that.
Copy !req
1164. Okay, how are we feeling?
Copy !req
1165. - Excited.
(laughs)
Copy !req
1166. - Yes? Excited?
Copy !req
1167. How are you feeling?
Copy !req
1168. - Calm.
- Calm.
Copy !req
1169. - Collected.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1170. - And excited.
Copy !req
1171. - Okay, good.
Copy !req
1172. Right in front of your
eyes on that chair
Copy !req
1173. is your chef's jacket.
Copy !req
1174. For a man that's fucking
in his late forties
Copy !req
1175. that's been busting his arse
off for the last 20 years,
Copy !req
1176. this is your chance.
Copy !req
1177. This is your time now.
Copy !req
1178. Take advantage of it and
fucking do it properly,
Copy !req
1179. more importantly enjoy it.
Copy !req
1180. - You're a chef Mike.
Copy !req
1181. - Now you're
gonna cook like a chef
Copy !req
1182. and you're gonna look
like a chef.
Copy !req
1183. The reckoning,
Copy !req
1184. the new launch of the new
Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
1185. This is the biggest fight
of Mike's life.
Copy !req
1186. For this ex-boxer, it carries
the promise of a huge reward,
Copy !req
1187. to finally call himself a chef.
Copy !req
1188. The people of Lampeter
are coming to give
Copy !req
1189. the Fish & Anchor a
second chance.
Copy !req
1190. A golden opportunity for
Mike and Caron
Copy !req
1191. to redeem this
place's reputation.
Copy !req
1192. - Try this one, oh, the stew,
it's lovely.
Copy !req
1193. - One antipasti, two prawn
and basil, one smoked salmon.
Copy !req
1194. - Right, yeah, good.
Copy !req
1195. - The
kitchen's feeling like
Copy !req
1196. a professional set up with Mike
taking control like a chef.
Copy !req
1197. - Can you call the
girls ready for service?
Copy !req
1198. - The
new menu's doing its job
Copy !req
1199. with dishes flying out of the
kitchen and going down well.
Copy !req
1200. - Looks quite simple,
quite plain in that respect
Copy !req
1201. but it tastes lovely.
Copy !req
1202. Jason thinks the
meatballs are brilliant.
Copy !req
1203. - Yep.
Copy !req
1204. - Out front
the waitresses Anne Harrad
Copy !req
1205. and Menna are keeping
the orders rolling in.
Copy !req
1206. Crucially, Caron's
charming the guests.
Copy !req
1207. - You're gonna be a good boy,
Copy !req
1208. you're gonna be a very
good boy all night.
Copy !req
1209. Right, what can I get you?
Copy !req
1210. - Just
two days ago she was shouting
Copy !req
1211. at anyone in earshot, now
she's like a new woman,
Copy !req
1212. smiling, chatting, welcoming.
Copy !req
1213. The restaurant's now
at its capacity
Copy !req
1214. and Mike's under pressure.
Copy !req
1215. - Got another order then.
Copy !req
1216. - Right-oh!
Copy !req
1217. - Starters on table
four cleared.
Copy !req
1218. Come on Mike, give me an
answer please.
Copy !req
1219. Starters on table—
Copy !req
1220. - Starters on table
four cleared?
Copy !req
1221. - They're clear, yeah.
Copy !req
1222. We're gonna just check now.
Copy !req
1223. - The
orders are stacking up
Copy !req
1224. and he's panicking.
Copy !req
1225. - Whoa, whoa, you're going
too fast, listen, whoa, stop.
Copy !req
1226. - This is where it really
seriously matters now,
Copy !req
1227. I'm still unconvinced that
this guy can do more than
Copy !req
1228. one table at a fucking time.
Copy !req
1229. The menu's so idiot proof,
straightforward, easy,
Copy !req
1230. country Italian fare and
he's fucking stressing out.
Copy !req
1231. - Out
front, the food isn't hitting
Copy !req
1232. the tables quickly enough.
Copy !req
1233. - We'll be, we'll be drunk
before the food comes you know.
Copy !req
1234. - I'm starving hungry,
I've been working all day
Copy !req
1235. and there's nothing happening,
this is disgraceful.
Copy !req
1236. - Fucking, I'm just not
getting saucepans.
Copy !req
1237. Look, they're under there,
Copy !req
1238. and I have to use the same
saucepan over and over.
Copy !req
1239. - Mike's
teetering on the edge.
Copy !req
1240. - Dressing.
Copy !req
1241. Where's the dressing gone?
Copy !req
1242. - This
doesn't bode well for the
future.
Copy !req
1243. - Ladle!
Copy !req
1244. Can I have some spoons,
big spoons?
Copy !req
1245. - I'm gutted.
Copy !req
1246. And then the night takes
an unexpected turn.
Copy !req
1247. - Shit, watch out.
Copy !req
1248. - Menna!
- Watch out.
Copy !req
1249. Watch out.
Copy !req
1250. Waitress Menna
Copy !req
1251. has slipped on the floor.
Copy !req
1252. She's unconscious, it
could be serious.
Copy !req
1253. An ambulance is called,
the night's service stops.
Copy !req
1254. - She doesn't want to see
you like that.
Copy !req
1255. Right, stand up.
Copy !req
1256. I need the food taken
out of the way.
Copy !req
1257. Fine.
Copy !req
1258. Er, a sad ending, erm, bad
fall, she slipped on the floor
Copy !req
1259. and, erm, hurt her back,
slight seizure
Copy !req
1260. and went into some
form of shock.
Copy !req
1261. Taken away in an ambulance, erm,
Copy !req
1262. thankfully her parents were
there and she stayed really calm
Copy !req
1263. and she's in safe hands.
Copy !req
1264. I'm convinced she's going
to be absolutely fine,
Copy !req
1265. but it was a tough night.
Copy !req
1266. I'm back in West Wales.
Copy !req
1267. It's a month since the Fish
& Anchor's re-opening night
Copy !req
1268. ended so abruptly when
waitress Menna slipped
Copy !req
1269. and was taken to hospital.
Copy !req
1270. - Shit, watch out.
Copy !req
1271. She recovered
Copy !req
1272. and went home the next day.
Copy !req
1273. - First of all, I'm very, erm,
relieved,
Copy !req
1274. the fact that Menna is back
to a hundred percent fitness.
Copy !req
1275. I'm dying to find out
what's actually going on
Copy !req
1276. at the Fish & Anchor,
because on the launch night,
Copy !req
1277. we were halfway through
and just struggling
Copy !req
1278. to keep our neck
above the waters.
Copy !req
1279. Has he changed back to
his old ways?
Copy !req
1280. And when they've got a
problem with each other
Copy !req
1281. I hope they're not
washing their dirty linen
Copy !req
1282. in front of their customers.
Copy !req
1283. I don't fucking believe it.
Copy !req
1284. He's painted the bloody thing.
Copy !req
1285. It looks inviting.
Copy !req
1286. That's one bit of good news.
Copy !req
1287. Hey.
Copy !req
1288. - Hello.
Copy !req
1289. - How are you?
- Okay.
Copy !req
1290. - It looks great out there.
Copy !req
1291. How are you, my darling?
Copy !req
1292. - Very good, thank you.
Copy !req
1293. - Are you well? Yes?
Copy !req
1294. - Great, yeah.
Copy !req
1295. - Menu.
Copy !req
1296. Dare I turn round and
look at a blackboard?
Copy !req
1297. - No.
- No.
Copy !req
1298. - No?
Copy !req
1299. - No, written menu.
Copy !req
1300. - Written menu?
Copy !req
1301. Style of food is half Rick
Stein, half Garry Rhodes?
Copy !req
1302. - No, it's Italian.
Copy !req
1303. - Figure-wise where are we
in comparison to last year?
Copy !req
1304. - Well, er, customers, we've
double the amount of customers,
Copy !req
1305. double the amount of covers.
Copy !req
1306. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1307. - And as opposed to
something like a four,
Copy !req
1308. four and a half grand loss,
we're broke,
Copy !req
1309. broke even this month.
Copy !req
1310. - That's good news.
Copy !req
1311. That's very, very,
very positive.
Copy !req
1312. Rowing stopped?
Copy !req
1313. - Stopped.
Copy !req
1314. - Must have been one somewhere?
Copy !req
1315. - There hasn't, has there?
Copy !req
1316. - No?
- No.
Copy !req
1317. - No? Well, we've taken venison
off the menu now anyway.
Copy !req
1318. - Yeah.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1319. - Yeah.
(laughs)
Copy !req
1320. - Uh?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1321. - I look at venison in
a completely different
Copy !req
1322. fucking way now, I don't
know about you, uh?
Copy !req
1323. - A month
ago, Mike and Caron's constant
Copy !req
1324. rows were driving the
customers away.
Copy !req
1325. I can't believe they've
completely stopped.
Copy !req
1326. A quick flick through
the reservations book
Copy !req
1327. gives me a hotline to
recent customers.
Copy !req
1328. - Now I just want some
fucking, er, background.
Copy !req
1329. - Time to
find out whether Mike and Caron
Copy !req
1330. have truly built bridges
with the locals.
Copy !req
1331. - Hello, is that Roger?
Copy !req
1332. - Yeah it is.
Copy !req
1333. - Hi, it's Gordon
Ramsay, how are you?
Copy !req
1334. - I'm fine, how are you?
Copy !req
1335. - What was
the food like?
Copy !req
1336. - It was brilliant.
Copy !req
1337. - What was the atmosphere
like in the dining room?
Copy !req
1338. Completely changed, lovely.
Copy !req
1339. - Good, and the million
dollar question,
Copy !req
1340. was there any arguing?
Copy !req
1341. - No, none at all.
Copy !req
1342. - One nil to the Fish & Anchor.
Copy !req
1343. Sorry, is that Sue?
Copy !req
1344. - It is.
Copy !req
1345. - How was dinner?
Copy !req
1346. - It was lovely.
Copy !req
1347. - Was the service warm?
Copy !req
1348. - Yes.
Copy !req
1349. - Anybody shout at you?
Copy !req
1350. - No, why?
(laughs)
Copy !req
1351. - No.
Copy !req
1352. No, I'm just asking.
Copy !req
1353. Two nil.
Copy !req
1354. Hi, Tony, it's Gordon,
Copy !req
1355. you sneaked into the
Fish & Anchor recently.
Copy !req
1356. - Yeah, we had a
nice meal there,
Copy !req
1357. I think there was ten of us.
Copy !req
1358. - Ten of you?
Copy !req
1359. They served ten main courses
all at the same time?
Copy !req
1360. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1361. - You didn't have to
take a two week holiday
Copy !req
1362. in-between courses?
Copy !req
1363. Fuck, three nil.
Copy !req
1364. There's got to be some
negativity somewhere.
Copy !req
1365. Did you hear any shouting,
screaming?
Copy !req
1366. - No, no, no, why,
is that usual there, is it?
Copy !req
1367. - Well, no, but I'm
just asking you,
Copy !req
1368. you're the customer, you
are the critic.
Copy !req
1369. Thank you my darling, big kiss.
Copy !req
1370. For me, it tells me the
reputation is spreading,
Copy !req
1371. and it's spreading in a
very positive way.
Copy !req
1372. The word's good.
Copy !req
1373. Seeing is believing.
Copy !req
1374. Mike's a changed man, a month
ago he was running around
Copy !req
1375. the kitchen like a
headless chicken.
Copy !req
1376. Now he's mastered my menu,
Copy !req
1377. big boy can finally call
himself a chef.
Copy !req
1378. - Ready for a bit of service
here now in a minute, girls.
Copy !req
1379. - The
dishes are flying out.
Copy !req
1380. - My god, you're so quick, uh?
Copy !req
1381. - And he's
in control of his kitchen.
Copy !req
1382. - Where's all
these orders then, girls?
Copy !req
1383. - Did I hear right there,
you're screaming for orders?
Copy !req
1384. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1385. These are going out
now in a minute
Copy !req
1386. and I've got nothing
to get on with.
Copy !req
1387. - Out
front the atmosphere's exactly
Copy !req
1388. what I was aiming for,
relaxed and welcoming.
Copy !req
1389. - Thank you darling, you
can come again.
Copy !req
1390. - Now, I'm a little bit nervous.
Copy !req
1391. Yeah, well, it's
going really well.
Copy !req
1392. You know, he's got five tickets
on, yeah, there's harmony,
Copy !req
1393. everybody's smiling,
the customers are happy.
Copy !req
1394. What's going on?
Copy !req
1395. - Nothing.
Copy !req
1396. - Uh?
Copy !req
1397. - Ha, ha.
Copy !req
1398. - The—
Copy !req
1399. - Told you so.
Copy !req
1400. - Well, the change in him is,
erm—
Copy !req
1401. - Unbelievable.
Copy !req
1402. He's proud of himself again.
Copy !req
1403. - Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
1404. - For getting things
done and quickly
Copy !req
1405. and nobody's complaining and—
Copy !req
1406. - You look very relaxed.
Copy !req
1407. - I am.
Copy !req
1408. I'm enjoying myself actually.
Copy !req
1409. - Good.
Copy !req
1410. You know those cookbooks
we got rid of.
Copy !req
1411. - They're gone.
Copy !req
1412. - They've gone and they
went to a good cause, yeah?
Copy !req
1413. - Went to a good cause, yeah.
Copy !req
1414. - Now I think it's about time,
yeah,
Copy !req
1415. you put your own book together.
Copy !req
1416. (laughs)
Here we go, yeah?
Copy !req
1417. Not too sure about
your Sous Chef.
Copy !req
1418. Look at it carefully and
then start filling out
Copy !req
1419. your own rustic recipes
and cook from here.
Copy !req
1420. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1421. - Cook from the heart.
Copy !req
1422. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1423. - And then print it and flog it.
Copy !req
1424. - Put it alongside yours on
the shelves, see how we go.
Copy !req
1425. - Take care.
Copy !req
1426. - Tah rah!
Copy !req
1427. I think me and Mike have
reassessed our marriage.
Copy !req
1428. I really, really feel like
going on honeymoon again.
Copy !req
1429. You know, just go, me and
him going away for a sloppy,
Copy !req
1430. daft weekend somewhere.
Copy !req
1431. So we might just do that soon.
Copy !req
1432. - Really happy to see it
actually working,
Copy !req
1433. and for me the most important
thing is we've fixed the menu,
Copy !req
1434. that means we've fixed
Mike and Caron,
Copy !req
1435. and if they can stick to that,
Copy !req
1436. they've got a happy
restaurant, happy customers
Copy !req
1437. and more importantly a
happy couple.
Copy !req
1438. I've never had a facial before.
Copy !req
1439. I had these lines at 21
Copy !req
1440. so what's the point in
getting a facial.
Copy !req
1441. Caron, do you snore?
Copy !req
1442. - Yes.
Copy !req
1443. - You do?
Copy !req
1444. Do you bottom burp?
Copy !req
1445. - No, never, ever, ever do.
Copy !req
1446. - Caron, is that your tummy?
Copy !req
1447. What is that?
Copy !req
1448. - My
gurgling plughole.
Copy !req
1449. - Okay.
(laughs)
Copy !req
1450. - So relaxing.
Copy !req