1. Long ago in a distant land,
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2. I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness,
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3. unleashed an unspeakable evil.
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4. But a foolish samurai warrior
wielding a magic sword
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5. stepped forth to oppose me.
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6. Before the final blow was struck,
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7. I tore open a portal in time
and flung him into the future,
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8. where my evil is law.
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9. Now the fool seeks to return to the past
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10. and undo the future that is Aku.
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11. (IN SCOTTISH ACCENT)
By the look on your face,
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12. I can tell you like the pipes,
wee laddie.
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13. Please. I don't mean to interrupt,
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14. but am I close to the end of this bridge?
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15. No, far from it.
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16. I've been traipsing across this bridge
for days now.
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17. Mmm.
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18. Seems I have a long way to go still.
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19. I should be on my way.
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20. Um, excuse me.
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21. What do you expect me to do?
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22. Just stand aside.
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23. And risk falling over the side
for a perfect stranger?
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24. Away and bow your head.
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25. You stand aside!
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26. My destination lies at the opposite end
of the bridge.
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27. And you'll get there after you back up,
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28. and I reach that end of the bridge first.
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29. That would waste too much time,
and time is what I don't have.
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30. So you think you're better than me
'cause you're in a hurry.
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31. Well, I'm in a hurry, too.
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32. But, no,
you didn't figure that, did you?
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33. That I might be an equal?
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34. No!
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35. You just consider
yourself superior right off.
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36. You're rude.
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37. You mistake my comment, sir.
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38. Do I? You think I'm dumb, too?
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39. No, I...
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40. Look, we are both in a hurry,
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41. so I shall hang from these planks,
and you may walk right over.
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42. So you get a peek up me kilt?
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43. That is not what I am suggesting.
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44. So you say, you plucky face hinoot.
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45. What did you call me?
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46. So you're deaf, too,
you clog-tailed cutty drake.
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47. I'll tell you what we're going to do.
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48. We'll fight for it to the finish.
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49. I do not think there is any need to—
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50. Listen, you boony, blithering numbthet,
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51. the only way for you
to get across this bridge
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52. is to beat me in combat.
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53. Now, are you a man or a worthless bloke
like I know you are?
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54. I'm calling you a coward!
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55. I fear no man.
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56. Ooh! That's some tough talk
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57. coming from a man
who wears a basket on his head.
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58. I carry me haggis in a basket.
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59. You might even make me shiver
if you weren't dressed in a nightgown.
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60. You look like my nanny.
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61. You call that thing dangling off
your hip a sword?
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62. Looks like a butter knife.
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63. You won't hurt anyone
wielding a piece of tin foil around.
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64. You'd be better off
using your slippers for a weapon.
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65. This is a sword.
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66. And it's bigger than yours.
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67. What do you think of that,
Mr. Pajama-wearing,
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68. basket-face, slipper-wielding...
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69. gather up and play
more blithering domino,
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70. Jessie off-looking stoner...
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71. milk-drinking, sorry-faced...
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72. sniveling worm...
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73. Aw. You're gonna weep now?
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74. (LAUGHING) Shall I pause
while you mourn your hat?
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75. I can play a melancholy tune
to go with your weeping.
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76. You've done it now.
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77. I'm going to turn your head
into a flour sifter.
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78. Aye, you got a lot of pep
for a wee laddie.
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79. The tremendous horse-out technique
should have destroyed your sword.
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80. Magic runes, laddie.
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81. All them fancy moves will get you nowhere.
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82. Now quit your jumping around
and get to fighting!
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83. Prepare to meet your doom.
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84. I'll give you one more chance to give up.
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85. I am not defeated,
and I shall hold my ground.
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86. Ooh. Hold your ground.
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87. You can barely hold your sword.
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88. Then come get me.
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89. Wha... eh...
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90. Ay... ah...
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91. Seeing that I'm a sportsman,
I'll give you a moment to recuperate.
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92. Yee-haw!
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93. They're after me!
After you?
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94. They're after me.
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95. Aku has got a price on me head.
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96. Aku has a price on my head.
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97. We're in no condition to fight these odds.
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98. Especially not with a pajama-wearing daisy
strapped to me wrist.
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99. We must escape.
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100. Over the side!
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101. Leave it to a leathery basket hat
to jump left instead of right.
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102. I'm having second thoughts now anyway.
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103. We have no idea how far down—
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104. Whoa!
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105. Great job, laddie.
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106. Do you have any idea where we are?
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107. No.
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108. So what now, smarty pants?
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109. For the moment,
we are safe from those bounty hunters.
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110. We must find shelter before they find us.
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111. We are defenseless in this lagoon.
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112. Shut it!
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113. There.
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114. We'll be safer on land.
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115. What I didn't understand
is why Aku is after you.
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116. I have a huge price on me head.
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117. Oh, yeah. Huge.
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118. I'm the most wanted man on this planet.
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119. Bounty hunters of all types
are after me skin. (LAUGHING)
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120. My face is plastered on wanted posters
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121. in every town on seven countries.
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122. Oh, yeah. I'm infamous.
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123. No. I don't believe it.
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124. I think they're gone.
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125. Are you sure?
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126. Aye, it's quiet.
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127. Bang-bang, bangity-bang, bang-bang.
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128. Jump now!
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129. This might not work.
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130. Of course it works. We're a lethal pair.
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131. Behind you!
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132. The arrow relies on the bow.
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133. The bow relies on the arrow,
but they are not tied together.
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134. That would be pointless now,
wouldn't it?
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135. Exactly. Together we are formidable,
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136. but shackled, our power is pointless.
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137. We must be free.
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138. Aye, free, and we'll take them together.
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139. Is that the best you can do?
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140. I'd say we've wiped out
our bounty hunter problem.
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141. For now.
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142. Aye, for now.
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143. I was wrong about you.
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144. I acted foolishly as well.
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145. No hard feelings, aye?
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146. I'll buy you a refreshment.
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147. Please. Allow me.
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148. I shall buy you a refreshment.
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149. No, no. I'll buy you one.
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150. I insist.
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151. No, I must buy you one
to make amends.
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152. It's all right. I'll buy.
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153. No, I will buy.
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154. I'll buy.
No, I will buy.
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155. I'll buy! I will!
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156. No, I will.
No, me!
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