1. Long ago in a distant land,
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2. I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness,
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3. unleashed an unspeakable evil.
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4. But a foolish samurai warrior
wielding a magic sword
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5. stepped forth to oppose me.
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6. Before the final blow was struck,
I tore open a portal in time
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7. and flung him into the future
where my evil is law.
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8. Now the fool seeks to return to the past
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9. and undo the future that is Aku.
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10. Watch out!
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11. Yeah?
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12. Ricko Benny Giordano.
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13. Come on in.
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14. Welcome to the Blue Monkey.
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15. Welcome, friends.
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16. And a warm welcome to
the Buddy Righteous Orchestra.
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17. And, without any further ado,
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18. please welcome the lovely Lula Lillywhite.
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19. Okay, Mac, that's enough.
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20. Nice and slow.
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21. That's right. Put the butter knife away.
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22. Come on. Move it before we throw you out.
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23. Wait. Let him stay.
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24. It's okay. Let him go. See? Yah.
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25. You know, we could use a guy like you.
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26. - "We?"
- Me and the boys, see?
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27. Stitches, Mr. Shine,
Mr. Pibbles, and Knuckles.
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28. Yeah, well, actually,
my real name is Joe—
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29. Mr. Pibbles.
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30. What exactly does your organization do?
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31. Why, me and the boys,
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32. we sort of run things around this town.
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33. Know what I mean? Yah. Yah.
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34. Say, how'd you like to...
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35. It's all right. You can put 'em down now.
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36. How'd you like to be a member of
the most feared gang in the city, see?
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37. What activities does
your "gang" participate in?
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38. Stitches, break it down for him.
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39. (CLEARS THROAT) Um.
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40. We, uh, fix things.
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41. Know what I mean?
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42. Make sure the money goes
to the right places around here.
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43. The horses, casinos, banks.
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44. You follow?
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45. You are involved in crime.
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46. Now, did I say that?
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47. Enough has been said.
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48. Your activities are of no interest to me.
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49. I wish to be no part of your group.
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50. So, a prima Donna, eh?
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51. Get out of here. Go on.
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52. Beat it, altar boy.
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53. - What? Are you crazy?
- Are you out of your mind?
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54. Nuts to do something like that.
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55. - Look at this guy, huh.
- I don't know.
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56. Well, what are you all
standing around for?
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57. We got a delivery to make for Aku.
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58. Do you mean the great and powerful Aku?
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59. Of course. The master of darkness.
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60. The shogun of sorrow.
The big boss himself. Aku.
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61. And you have dealings with Aku in person?
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62. Sure. All the time.
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63. What's it to you, anyway?
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64. Please forgive me. I thought you were—
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65. Small-time?
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66. Well, no. I, uh—
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67. Ah, so now Mr. Goody two-sandals
feels like talking, eh?
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68. Please understand.
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69. I have spent my lifetime preparing to come
face-to-face with Aku.
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70. Fulfilling this goal would
forever change my life.
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71. Okay, boy, we'll give you a shot.
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72. But, uh, you gotta pass
a little test first, see? Yah.
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73. You know, to prove
you got the stomach for it.
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74. All right. Here's the skinny.
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75. It's not a hard job, but your heart's
gotta be in the right place, see?
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76. One of our clients, see, hasn't been
paying his protection money, yah.
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77. So he needs to be rubbed out.
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78. Now you tell him that The Society
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79. for the Preservation of Animal Love
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80. has sent a surprise gift, yah,
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81. as a token of appreciation
for his ongoing love of animals, see?
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82. Then you got about 20 seconds
to hightail it outta there
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83. and then it's bang.
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84. The gift that keeps on giving.
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85. Well, kid, how'd it go?
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86. It went exactly as planned.
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87. The old man took the package,
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88. I said my lines exactly
as I was supposed to.
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89. He never suspected a thing,
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90. after which I immediately
left the premises.
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91. He never knew what hit him.
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92. You should not be concerned
with any further
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93. payment problems with your clients.
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94. Pretty cold-blooded, kid.
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95. I'm impressed, see? Yah.
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96. A price must be paid for disobedience.
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97. (LAUGHING) I like this guy.
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98. Boys, meet Jackie, the blade.
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99. With all the accouterments, see?
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100. Yeah, great. How come
he gets the cool name?
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101. All right, you knuckleheads, listen up.
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102. We're here to talk about a very big job.
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103. One of very special interest
to the big boss himself.
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104. Aku?
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105. That's right, Jackie.
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106. Now nobody's ever pulled
this one off, see?
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107. But with you on our side, we'll smoke it.
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108. And we will get to meet Aku?
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109. Mm-yah, not only will we get to meet him,
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110. but if we pull this off successfully,
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111. the big boss will make us
richer beyond our wildest dreams, see?
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112. Boys, say hello to
the Public Works and Utilities building.
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113. Hello!
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114. It's a well kept secret that
deep inside this building
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115. lies the legendary Neptune jewel, see?
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116. And it's our job to get it out.
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117. You mean, uh, we gotta fit
inside that little thing?
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118. What is the importance of this jewel?
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119. Here's the short version, Jackie.
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120. Long before you was born,
or I was born, or anybody was born,
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121. the Neptune jewel was kept
inside this mountain, see?
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122. Now legend has it, it was placed there
by an ancient spirit
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123. who gave the jewel special powers
that would give it control
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124. over all the waters
of the world, see? Yah.
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125. Naturally, Aku wanted the jewel's power
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126. so evil could control
the world, which it should.
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127. But then this no-good
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128. goody two-shoes good-for-nothing
got in the way, see? Yah.
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129. I don't know how she did it,
but she beat our boss.
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130. And she summoned the forces
of nature to guard it.
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131. Earth...
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132. wind...
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133. and fire.
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134. And so earth, wind, and fire
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135. have guarded the jewel
for centuries, see? Yah.
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136. Making it impossible for Aku
to get his hands on it.
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137. And since the big boss himself
couldn't close the deal,
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138. it's been centuries since anybody's even
thought about it.
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139. So, you see, see?
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140. You'd have to be pretty nuts
to try to swipe the Neptune jewel, yah.
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141. At least that's what I thought...
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142. until I saw Jackie here in action.
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143. The way you cleaned up
them robot thugs back at the Blue Monkey
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144. made me think we're just nuts enough
to pull this one off.
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145. So, are you game, Jackie?
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146. To stand in Aku's presence,
I would consider no feat too great.
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147. All right, here's the plan, Jackie.
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148. We strike this Sunday at midnight, see?
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149. You will never possess the Neptune jewel.
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150. You will not escape.
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151. Come and get me.
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152. Insolent fool!
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153. Hey, look.
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154. He did it!
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155. Hey, you did it, Jackie boy.
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156. How 'bout that?
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157. That's really something.
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158. Who dares to summon...
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159. Oh, it is you.
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160. Uh, yes, uh, you see, uh—
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161. Do you forget that you are forbidden
to come here?
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162. (STAMMERING) Uh, yeah, boss, I know.
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163. But this time we, we really got something.
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164. Something big, see?
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165. What can you possibly have
that the all-mighty Aku cannot attain?
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166. The jewel of Neptune.
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167. What? It cannot be!
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168. The power to control
all the water of the world!
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169. Only for you, my Lord.
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170. Yes, it truly is a magical jewel.
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171. But how did such an elusive treasure
come in to your possession?
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172. Well, it wasn't easy, master,
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173. but we, uh, got a little help
from our newest member.
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174. Come on out, Jackie.
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175. Jackie?
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176. Actually, it's Jack.
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177. You!
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178. Uh, what the heck is going on, man?
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179. You will not defeat me so easily.
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180. Yes, it won't be easy,
but it will be worth the effort.
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181. The sword!
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182. Uh, why is Jackie
fighting the big boss, boss?
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183. I don't know, see,
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184. but we better save Jackie
before he ain't no more.
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185. No tricks will save you this time, Aku.
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186. Aku?
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187. Easy there, Jackie boy.
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188. What? Where am I?
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189. What happened?
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190. Can you believe this guy?
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191. What happened, Jackie,
is that we saved your life.
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192. You what?
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193. Well, you see, you lost
your mind back there
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194. and started to duke it out
with the big boss himself.
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195. So, uh, we nailed you over the head, man.
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196. (LAUGHS) Wham!
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197. Lights out, and, uh, here we are.
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198. Yeah, and we saved you
before Aku had a chance
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199. to put you out of commission permanently.
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200. I cannot believe this!
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201. What's not to believe?
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202. We saved you like you saved us.
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203. No! You do not understand!
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204. You must take me back immediately.
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205. Aren't you listening, Jackie?
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206. We can't take you back.
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207. Aku would destroy you, see? Yah.
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208. Besides, we couldn't even if we wanted to.
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209. When we dragged you out,
Aku's castle disappeared.
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210. Who knows where it'll pop up next?
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211. Hey, what's all this about, anyway?
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212. You got some kind of
death wish or something?
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213. No, you don't understand!
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214. (SIGHS) I have deceived you.
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215. Hey, you mean, uh...
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216. You ain't one of us, man?
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217. No. You are criminals.
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218. It is not honorable.
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219. You see, long ago this land was good.
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220. Its people, honest, but then Aku came...
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221. It does not matter.
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222. My quest continues.
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223. I am sorry about the deception,
but it had to be done.
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224. Now, if you please, the jewel.
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225. Uh, we don't have it, see?
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226. Uh, we gave it to Aku.
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227. Mr. Pibbles?
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228. Uh... (LAUGHING)
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229. Yeah, during all the, uh,
commotion I, uh, I kept it,
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230. you know, for, uh, safe keeping.
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231. Thank you. I must return it
to its proper place.
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232. Wait, Jackie, uh, let us do it.
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233. - Why?
- Well, uh, all this crime business
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234. has suddenly put a,
a bad taste in my mouth, yah.
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235. Yeah, we're going legit, see? Yah.
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236. And for our first gig,
we're gonna return the jewel.
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237. It's the honorable thing to do, yah.
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238. I feel you will be happier
on the path of righteousness.
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239. Good-bye.
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240. (DOOR CLOSES)
Yeah, I think we will, too.
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241. Sucker!
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242. Step right UP!
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243. Get your water right here only.
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244. Five hundred smackers per ounce.
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