Samurai Jack 1x2

Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky

Jeff Bennett as Alien / McDuffy / Dreyfuss / Leader / Dog (voice) • Phil LaMarr as Homeslice / Dog #1 (voice) • Rob Paulsen as Cole Lampkin / Lizor / Rothchild (voice) • Kevin Michael Richardson as Brobot / Bouncer / Vada 2 (voice) • Jennifer Hale as Waitress (voice)

The Samurai lands in the future and is named Jack. He is enlisted by a race of dogs to destroy Aku.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Long ago, in a distant land,

2. I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness,

3. unleashed an unspeakable evil,

4. but a foolish samurai warrior

5. wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me.

6. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time

7. and flung him into the future where my evil is law.

8. Now the fool seeks to return to the past

9. and undo the future that is Aku.

10. Once again

11. I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past.

12. Mother, Aku has returned.

13. Do as we have planned.

14. Our future depends on it.

15. I am the lost son of the land that you have pillaged.

16. I am here to reclaim it.

17. What trickery is this?

18. Aku!

19. Do not worry, Samurai.

20. You will see me again.

21. But next time you will not be so fortunate.

22. Dude, that was bad, man.

23. Yo, Jack, that was some awesome show.

24. I have never seen a punk with moves like that, Jack.

25. Word! Jack was all ricochetic and jumpadelic!

26. Oh, he's prodigiously acrobatastic!

27. Word! Word!

28. But then like when Jack went all Swiss on them...

29. He was all like swig! Swag! Swoop!

30. Man, right through the car!

31. Swigattack, whack, the spoiler on the back, Jack!

32. 9h, yeah, yeah!

33. And it was all schwoo, boom!

34. Man, eat that flugget crunker!

35. Yo, then my man just like lands all coolish-style.

36. Like no sweat, sure.

37. B-but then that gunner wanna come out

38. all ram-a-lam-a-lam-a and the trashing and all the munching

39. and crunching and snack mixing.

40. And that fat super-caga-fragilistic cystic tie, yo!

41. Yeah, but Jack's just like word, let me get some tie.

42. Grab, zoop! I'm out, Joe.

43. Thank you. Where am I?

44. Jack, you're in the gutter level of the central hub sector D.

45. Central hub?

46. Yeah, Jack, the most crowdedest...

47. Stinkiest...

48. Most miserablist...

49. Residential industrial space port on earth.

50. I have many questions and little time.

51. Who is in charge here?

52. I must speak with your king.

53. So, Jack...

54. You don't see Aku, Aku sees you.

55. - Aku? Yeah, man, Aku,

56. the master of us...

57. The deliverer of darkness...

58. The shogun of sorrow.

59. No! How can this be?

60. - Don't know. - Just always been that way.

61. This I...

62. Yo, Jack, what's up?

63. You don't look so good.

64. What Jack needs is some liquid refreshment.

65. Perhaps you are right.

66. Word! Right over there. They will hook you up.

67. Word. That joint is the busy-bizall.

68. What... Do you... Want?

69. A few of the locals informed me that I might be able to refresh myself here.

70. - What? - Hey, man, Jack just want a drink!

71. A drink? Why didn't you say so?

72. And what you looking at?

73. I apologize. I am new here.

74. I did not mean to stare.

75. No, human, it is not that easy.

76. Please, I again apologize for my misbehavior.

77. I do not wish for any more trouble.

78. - Get up. - I wish you no harm.

79. It is not me who should worry about being hurt, human.

80. It is you!

81. So, what do you say, old chap? Will you help us?

82. So what did he say? What did he say? Will he do it?

83. He said you're out of your mind, you blasted idiot.

84. What do we do now?

85. We've asked just about everyone here.

86. I say, what about him?

87. You mean the lad who's about to get his bum disintegrated?

88. Ooh, I can't watch!

89. Yes, that's the one. I like him.

90. By jove, he's good.

91. Aye, but it ain't over.

92. Lads, that's our boy!

93. Aye, he's good, all right, but he'll never do it.

94. We'll see about that.

95. Be careful, Rothchild.

96. No worries, old friend.

97. Everything is under control.

98. Ahem. Pardon me, fine sir.

99. Down here, old fella.

100. I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to join us, as we are—

101. Talking demon dogs!

102. Good heavens, where?

103. You will not vest me this day, vile henchman of Aku.

104. Hold on a moment, sir.

105. I am by no means a demon or have anything to do with Aku.

106. But you speak in the language of man.

107. But of course.

108. Ah, you're not from around here, are you?

109. I say, why don't you come join my friends and me for a refreshment,

110. and we'll explain everything.

111. Splendid. Right this way.

112. Your refreshments are here.

113. Splendid.

114. My boy, I do apologize.

115. How rude of us.

116. We haven't introduced ourselves.

117. This is Sir Dreyfuss Alexander, chief of excavation.

118. Um, Dreyfuss, old boy, you're drooling again.

119. Uh, oh, sorry.

120. You blasted idiot! You're getting everybody wet.

121. And this fine gentleman is Angus McDuffy, artifact aficionado,

122. and I am Sir Colin Bartholemew Montgomery Rothchild III, or Rothy for short.

123. I'm sorry. I'm very confused.

124. You world is new to me. What has happened?

125. No, no, no. Quite all right. Quite all right.

126. Since the beginning of history,

127. the immortal Aku has ruthlessly ruled the earth,

128. plundering its resources as he sees fit.

129. But it was still not enough.

130. He opened his ports to the galaxy

131. so that he might take the riches of other worlds, as well.

132. Since then, his other worldly business affairs

133. have drawn scads of ruthless criminals,

134. mindless stooges, and questionable mercenaries to our pitiable planet,

135. making the earth Topsy-turvy, if I do say so myself.

136. There are other worlds across the stars?

137. (LAUGHING) Well of course, silly.

138. What world do you hail from?

139. But I am from earth,

140. yet this world is nothing like the world I remember.

141. How so, lad?

142. Even the grandest cities were never as overwhelming as this one.

143. Chariots did not fly and dogs did not speak in human tongue.

144. What do you mean?

145. Well I mean no insult.

146. They were wonderful companions, but the dogs I knew merely barked.

147. - (GASPS) - You see? The ancient myths are true!

148. Impossible!

149. If what you say is true, he'd have to be thousands of years old.

150. (GASPS) Astounding.

151. The age-o-meter dates your particles all the way back to 25 B.A.

152. 25 years before Aku enslaved the earth.

153. You, my friend, are a living fossil.

154. So the question is not where I am, but when I am.

155. Precisely.

156. The spell Aku cast must have ripped me from my own time

157. and flung me into the distant future.

158. Time warp is highly plausible.

159. Allowing his evil time to fester and infect the entire world.

160. Oh, most undoubtedly,

161. and I'm sure he plans to spread his vileness through the stars.

162. No, I must return to my own time

163. so that I might undo Aku's evil reign before it envelopes the earth.

164. This ageless demon must be stopped.

165. Oh! I'm so glad we agree on that point,

166. which actually brings us back to our proposal.

167. You see, we are archaeologists trying to dig up the remains of our ancestors

168. to find out more about our past.

169. It was only a few years ago that we discovered that our ancestors

170. walked upon their legs and their arms.

171. Then one day during our excavation,

172. we actually stumbled upon rare jewels.

173. Aye. These jewels ended up being a key source of power for Aku.

174. So he enslaved us to forever dig up his jewels,

175. thus stifling our excavation of our glorious past,

176. which is why we need you.

177. But what can I do?

178. With your tremendous skill, you can break us free from the grasp of Aku

179. and we can escape in secret to again continue to discover our history.

180. I will help you.

181. Splendid. Well, we're off, then.

182. - Hold it! - What is it now, Rothy?

183. - What's wrong? - My dearest apologies, kind sir,

184. but we never got your name.

185. - Jack! - Jack, was all...

186. - Jack! - Jack!

187. - Yo, Jack! - Jack, was...

188. - Jack! - Jack! Jack!

189. They call me Jack.

190. Jack. I say, that's quite nice. So simple, but it seems to fit.

191. But who am I to comment? Well, Jack, we're on our way.

192. We'll take our rocket ship.

193. Rocket ship?

194. I'm taking a break.

195. My lord, we are the manaquas, from the mosconian galaxy.

196. Our water planet has been pillaged

197. and all the oceans that were once our home are gone.

198. We have searched long and hard

199. to find a planet with oceans rich enough to sustain our people

200. And your world is our last hope for survival.

201. I know of your plight, Manaquain,

202. for you see I am he who has taken your water and the riches within them.

203. - You monster! - Be quiet!

204. I am sorry, my lord.

205. The boy is young and foolish.

206. He does not know what he says.

207. The boy will return.

208. He will learn proper respect for Aku in the pit of hate.

209. Yes, O master, your wisdom is unquestionable,

210. but with you, good Lord Aku,

211. allow us to inhabit your world, for you are our only hope.

212. You will be allowed.

213. The oceans of Aku will be your new home,

214. but you will pay homage to me by constructing statues in my likeness.

215. Once a month, a monolithic tribute

216. will rise from the depths of the ocean

217. to remind all who is the master of this world.

218. Now be gone!

219. My Lord, Master, I have great news for you.

220. What information can be considered great for the immortal Aku?

221. An ancient warrior of great power and skill has revealed himself.

222. He has vowed to liberate the canines from your mines.

223. What impertinence is this?

224. Show me the fool!

225. So fate has arrived.

226. Many years have gone since that day, and now my formidable foe,

227. you will pay for my pain in the past with your pain in the future.

228. Oh, dear, sir Jack, are you ill?

229. I'm fine. I just prefer walking.

230. Oh, yes. Rocket rides and such.

231. Sorry about that, old timer, but anyway, welcome to our camp.

232. As you can see, our archaeological dig

233. had unearthed many astounding discoveries

234. concerning the history of canine-kind,

235. but unfortunately, Aku has, shall we say, redirected our efforts

236. purely toward the excavation of his precious gems.

237. And if Aku's unreasonable quotas are not fully met,

238. I'm afraid terrible punishments are exacted.

239. My peoples' spirits are broken.

240. We simply cannot live like this any longer!

241. I have seen Aku implement these atrocities before, but no more.

242. Even dogs should not be forced to live like dogs.

243. Ahem.

244. They're coming! They're coming!

245. Aku's drones approach from the south!

246. They will be upon us by sunrise!