1. Long ago
in a distant land,Copy !req
2. I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness,Copy !req
3. unleashed
an unspeakable evil,Copy !req
4. but a foolish Samurai warrior
wielding a magic swordCopy !req
5. stepped forth to oppose me.Copy !req
6. Before the final blow was struck,Copy !req
7. I tore open a portal in timeCopy !req
8. and flung him into the future,
where my evil is law.Copy !req
9. Now the fool seeks to return to the pastCopy !req
10. and undo the future that is Aku.Copy !req
11. I would like
some hot water, please.Copy !req
12. Over there.Copy !req
13. Thank you.Copy !req
14. Wassup, yo?Copy !req
15. Da Samurai is
in the Hisserie house!Copy !req
16. Da da da da Samurai.Copy !req
17. That's right. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
18. Ain't no bout adout that.Copy !req
19. Don't call me bad.
Call me badder.Copy !req
20. I'm the Samurai dude
who invented rude.Copy !req
21. There ain't no stoppin'
this booty-kicking brother.Copy !req
22. And this here is my mama.Copy !req
23. Don't you be talkin' bad
'bout my mama,Copy !req
24. or she'll give you a whoopin'.Copy !req
25. Ain't that right, mama?Copy !req
26. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
That's right, baby.Copy !req
27. 'Cause... I... Am...Copy !req
28. Da Samurai!Copy !req
29. Catch, sucka.Copy !req
30. Wassup, fellas?Copy !req
31. Nice hat.Copy !req
32. That's better.Copy !req
33. Yeah! Now, that's
what I'm talking 'bout.Copy !req
34. Mmm!Copy !req
35. Hey, what kind of swill
are you trying to serve me?Copy !req
36. Now, you lucky
I'm in a good mood,Copy !req
37. 'cause mama would
knock you out.Copy !req
38. Well, hello.
I didn't see you up on the menu.Copy !req
39. You must be
the chef's special,Copy !req
40. 'cause you sure
ain't no appetizer!Copy !req
41. Hey, now!Copy !req
42. Release the female.Copy !req
43. 'Scuze me, darlin'.Copy !req
44. It's whoopin' time.Copy !req
45. Whoo! Hiya! Ah-zo!Copy !req
46. Yu-hizza! Whop!
Hey! Whop Whop!Copy !req
47. Hey, hey!Copy !req
48. Look out!Copy !req
49. It's helicopter time.Copy !req
50. Uh-oh. Here it comes.Copy !req
51. Uh... The crazy eight!Copy !req
52. Ha ha!Copy !req
53. Then there's
the sucker punch.Copy !req
54. Did you look up... pow!Copy !req
55. Sucka!Copy !req
56. Yeah! And finally,
the monk dunk!Copy !req
57. Monk...Copy !req
58. Dunk!Copy !req
59. Any more suckas
want to mess with me?Copy !req
60. Huh? Oh, you want some?Copy !req
61. Huh?Copy !req
62. That's right!Copy !req
63. Nobody messes
with Da Samurai.Copy !req
64. Now, gimme something I can really drink.Copy !req
65. Yes. Yes, sir.Copy !req
66. Bounty hunters!Copy !req
67. Samurai Jack!Copy !req
68. Yes, Samurai, it is I.Copy !req
69. These are my newest
and mightiest assassins.Copy !req
70. Bye-bye, Samurai.Copy !req
71. Destroy him. Destroy him!Copy !req
72. More hot water,
please.Copy !req
73. So you're
Samurai Jack, huh?Copy !req
74. The poser who's
been biting my style.Copy !req
75. Nah, nah, that's all right, son.Copy !req
76. You looked
pretty good out there.Copy !req
77. Your little moves
be lookin' all right...Copy !req
78. Almost as good as mine.Copy !req
79. Thank you.Copy !req
80. Say what? Say what?Copy !req
81. Yo, no, don't you
turn your backCopy !req
82. and walk away
from me.Copy !req
83. Didn't you hear
who I am?Copy !req
84. I believe everyone
heard who you are.Copy !req
85. Say what?Copy !req
86. Ah... Snap!
It's like that, huh?Copy !req
87. Well, here's a 4-1-1,
Samurai Jack.Copy !req
88. I am Da Samurai,Copy !req
89. and, you see,
you are a Samurai,Copy !req
90. but there can
only be one Samurai,Copy !req
91. so me and you are gonna throw down,Copy !req
92. and after me and mama
whoop your sorry butt,Copy !req
93. I will be the one
and only Samurai.Copy !req
94. Excuse me.Copy !req
95. May I please have
some more hot water?Copy !req
96. I guess so.Copy !req
97. Thank you.Copy !req
98. You got to be
kidding me.Copy !req
99. You know,
I think I done figured it out.Copy !req
100. You're scared
to fight me!Copy !req
101. You don't want
none of this.Copy !req
102. That's right,
isn't it?Copy !req
103. Ha ha! Hey!Copy !req
104. Thank you very much.Copy !req
105. I'm sorry.
Can I bring you anything, sir?Copy !req
106. Yeah...Copy !req
107. Lookin' for this?Copy !req
108. Heh heh heh!Copy !req
109. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
110. Ahhh!Copy !req
111. Very well.Copy !req
112. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
113. Well, let's get
this party started, fool.Copy !req
114. - Outside.
- Huh?Copy !req
115. We will
fight outside...Copy !req
116. in the shadow
of leaves.Copy !req
117. What?Copy !req
118. Yeah, but it's raining...Copy !req
119. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
120. I wouldn't want to spoil
your reputation for you.Copy !req
121. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
122. All right, Jack.Copy !req
123. Draw.Copy !req
124. What the heck
is that?Copy !req
125. It is your weapon.Copy !req
126. Man, I didn't say
I wanted to go fishin'.Copy !req
127. You got to be kiddin' me
with that.Copy !req
128. Heh heh heh! You crazy.Copy !req
129. I like it. I do like it.Copy !req
130. Draw your weapon
and quit stallin'.Copy !req
131. Baby, I'm ready
to get maulin'!Copy !req
132. It is your weapon
that remains to be drawn.Copy !req
133. Man, I said I ain't
gonna fight youCopy !req
134. with that old toothpick.Copy !req
135. You have not yet
earned the rightCopy !req
136. to face my blade.Copy !req
137. Uh... Yo.Copy !req
138. All right, fine.Copy !req
139. I'll earn your blade.
Now, come on!Copy !req
140. Well, come on!
I ain't got all night!Copy !req
141. Got to save some time
for the honeys.Copy !req
142. He who runs with aggressionCopy !req
143. walks without dignity.Copy !req
144. Now I see
your tactics.Copy !req
145. You gonna bore me
to death.Copy !req
146. Ay-yi-yi!Copy !req
147. You can never
defeat anotherCopy !req
148. if you know not
how to defeat yourself.Copy !req
149. Man, what is this,
story time?Copy !req
150. Ow, man!Copy !req
151. Oh, I'm gonna tear you a new...Copy !req
152. Ooh!Copy !req
153. You know how much I paid
for those things?Copy !req
154. He who wears a maskCopy !req
155. cannot see what lies within himself.Copy !req
156. Now, what the heck
is that supposed to mean?Copy !req
157. I'll teach you
to play me the fool!Copy !req
158. Why, you...Copy !req
159. Aaahhh!Copy !req
160. The shell of an oyster
only hides the pearl inside.Copy !req
161. Heh heh heh!Copy !req
162. What kind of...Copy !req
163. Ha! I'm finished playing around
with these old silly sticks.Copy !req
164. When I finish you off,
I'm gonna do it with a man's weapon,Copy !req
165. - not some old...
- Shh!Copy !req
166. Don't you be shushing me
when I'm talking!Copy !req
167. Now, I told you
that I'm...Copy !req
168. Be quiet!Copy !req
169. Later, Jack!Copy !req
170. Man!Copy !req
171. I guess I...Copy !req
172. I guess I ain't
so bad after all.Copy !req
173. Man, that was
pretty amazing.Copy !req
174. Look out!Copy !req
175. You have taken
the first stepCopy !req
176. toward the true pathCopy !req
177. to the way
of the Samurai.Copy !req
178. Yo, sensei!Copy !req
179. What's the second lesson?Copy !req
180. What's tomorrow...
three and four?Copy !req
181. You got a videotape
I can look at?Copy !req
182. Gimme some homework, man!Copy !req
183. Should I just think
positive thoughts? Wassup?Copy !req