1. Long ago in a distant land,
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2. I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness,
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3. unleashed an unspeakable evil.
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4. But a foolish samurai warrior
wielding a magic sword
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5. stepped forth to oppose me.
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6. Before the final blow was struck,
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7. I tore open a portal in time
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8. and flung him into the future,
where my evil is law.
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9. Now the fool seeks to return
to the past
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10. and undo the future that is Aku.
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11. Okay,
so you want a little off of the top, eh?
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12. Yes, sir, it's no problem.
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13. Ha! Well, we don't get
many people up in these parts,
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14. kind of slow, you know.
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15. But I will make you
look-a sharp, yes, sir.
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16. You are in good hands with Tanino,
because I'm the best, eh?
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17. I've been cutting hair all of my life.
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18. No matter how big or small,
I cut them all.
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19. Mamma mia!
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20. It's Jujunga,
the aboriginal bounty hunter.
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21. His blowgun has captured
the most elusive prey.
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22. A tattooed terror!
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23. What is he doing this far north?
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24. Must be on some kind of hunt.
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25. Certainly ain't here for the night life.
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26. So, as I was saying...
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27. Hey!
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28. It's "I" and "Am",
the infamous twins, bounty hunter legends.
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29. Their techniques are so cunning,
their abilities so in tune,
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30. it's rumored that
they share the same mind.
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31. Hey, that reminds me,
back in the old days,
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32. how I used to hang around the barber shop
with all of the customers...
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33. some with nice, black,
thick hair, you know,
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34. like all of... oh!
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35. It's the gentleman.
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36. He's a nice fellow but deadly.
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37. This bounty hunter dueled with many,
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38. but none could escape his skill.
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39. The knives are his weapon of choice.
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40. Look at him. So stylish, oh, so fancy.
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41. Great hair.
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42. Eh? What's this?
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43. Huh? I've never seen this one before.
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44. Curious.
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45. Hah! A strange fellow.
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46. I wonder...
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47. Oh, my.
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48. You. You're... you're...
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49. Boris... biggest,
baddest bounty hunter of all.
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50. Da!
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51. What is up here?
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52. It seems there
is a problem you cannot deny.
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53. We are all here for the same samurai.
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54. Indeed we are,
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55. but I see no reason to discuss this
in the most frigid of temperatures.
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56. I suggest that
we confer on this delicate matter
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57. inside this nearby vacant structure.
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58. Da! It is cold.
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59. - Mmm-hmm.
- Hmm.
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60. It seems we have amassed
quite a committee.
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61. But only one of us can claim this bounty.
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62. It seems that the one who goes first
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63. will have the best chance
of collecting everything.
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64. Pa-tooey!
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65. I have come here before everyone.
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66. I will go first.
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67. He has no chance
against the power of Jujunga.
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68. As the Samurai approaches,
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69. I shall sit
by the roadside playing the flute.
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70. He will pause a moment
and listen to the beautiful sounds...
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71. Slowly being lulled into false security.
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72. At the moment he's at his most vulnerable,
my trap is sprung.
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73. My flute is really a blowgun
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74. with darts dipped
in the most lethal of poisons.
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75. This bounty will be mine.
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76. You will fail.
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77. Your plan is flawed.
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78. How? It has never failed me before.
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79. It cannot be defeated.
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80. The samurai's senses are too acute.
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81. He will hear you take a breath
before you fire,
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82. and easily avoid your dart completely.
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83. You wouldn't stand a chance.
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84. The gentleman
reluctantly must agree
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85. with our mysterious friend.
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86. You lack a certain style,
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87. a savoir faire that is required
for this particular bounty,
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88. whereas I, on the other hand,
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89. have all the wit and panache necessary
to take on such a worthy adversary...
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90. For I shall meet
my most studious of samurais
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91. out on the field of honor in a duel...
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92. a duel of epic proportions.
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93. It is true the Samurai has great skills.
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94. That, no one can deny,
but on this day, my friends,
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95. it is the gentleman who will prevail,
for my talents are far superior
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96. and my strategy
is as sound as I am elegant.
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97. Yes, I will take advantage
of his intense concentration
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98. and split his focus,
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99. forcing him to choose
between life and death...
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100. My cloak acting as shield and decoy
for the coup de grace.
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101. Now, I'm not one to brag,
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102. but I must say that my blades
fly faster than any bullet.
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103. He will not be able to escape them.
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104. I assure you, indeed,
this bounty will be mine.
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105. It is definitely the end for you.
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106. Pardon me?
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107. He is too disciplined
to fall for your tricks.
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108. Your decoy alone is not strong enough.
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109. A stylish plan it sounds, indeed,
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110. but he is right.
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111. An attack like that will not succeed.
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112. Listen to our plan
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113. and you will see
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114. It is "I"
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115. and "Am" who will claim this bounty.
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116. As the Samurai enters the town,
we will wait for the final showdown.
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117. Concealed we will be.
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118. Our surprise he will never see.
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119. "I" will attack from the rear...
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120. And "Am" from the sun will appear.
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121. A thousand bombs will fall from the sky.
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122. In his confusion,
the Samurai will surely die.
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123. You're on the right track.
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124. But the two of you can never defeat Jack.
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125. Jack is cunning and hard to restrain.
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126. By leaving him a sword,
he stays in the game.
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127. Bah!
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128. Enough with this kiddie talk.
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129. Boris is best. Bounty belongs to Boris.
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130. Little man is coming.
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131. I do not wait.
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132. Bah!
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133. He will attack with sword.
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134. It breaks against my belly.
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135. Then I break him!
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136. Break him! Break him! Break him!
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137. That's how Boris gets the bounty!
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138. Any questions?
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139. Have you always been this stupid?
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140. Yes!
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141. What? What? No, uh, uh...
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142. You've underestimated your opponent.
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143. You have no idea what you're up against.
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144. You will all run headlong into death.
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145. What?
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146. Your skills are most impressive,
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147. and your talents
certainly seem to match your wisdom.
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148. If you would be so inclined, kind sir,
to reveal yourself to us.
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149. A woman?
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150. Oh, my!
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151. I am Princess Mira of the Andaluvians.
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152. Oh.
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153. I've heard of her. She's powerful.
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154. Is she the one who captured that guy
on that planet, uh...
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155. Yes.
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156. Oh, my. Well, she is good.
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157. I have more power and skill
than all of you.
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158. It seems her tongue
bites as hard as her stick.
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159. But even I cannot
defeat the Samurai on my own.
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160. What's that?
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161. The only way to defeat him
is to join forces and attack him together,
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162. all at once.
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163. A wise and powerful plan this would be...
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164. but who is the one to claim the bounty?
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165. I am!
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166. No woman will!
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167. Silence! I must claim this bounty.
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168. But not for the money.
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169. For freedom.
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170. The freedom of my people and my kingdom.
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171. Aku has enslaved my nation for many years,
plundering our wealth and resources.
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172. I will collect this bounty.
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173. And for payment, I will ask
for my people to be freed
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174. and my kingdom restored.
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175. In return for your help,
I will pay you the sum of the bounty,
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176. plus tenfold!
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177. My, my!
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178. That is much money.
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179. Her land has priceless resources.
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180. Priceless?
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181. So it seems.
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182. It seems to me that Boris does agree.
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183. Da! Much money, please!
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184. - You'll get it.
- I better.
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185. - You will.
- I better.
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186. You will.
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187. Okay, what is plan?
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188. This is what we'll do.
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189. This is the plan.
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190. Well, it certainly seems to be
a wise and prudent plan, my dear.
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191. It is good.
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192. Phooey! Plan okay.
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193. Boris would have had better plan.
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194. Da.
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195. Good. Let's get to work.
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196. "Am", you head up the road
and hide in the trees.
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197. Watch for the samurai
and alert us when he comes.
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198. The rest of us dig.
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199. I hate taking orders from woman.
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200. Hey, you, country boy man,
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201. how about you and me team up
and collect bounty, no?
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202. The gentleman never goes back on his word.
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203. Besides, our present course of action is,
in fact,
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204. the most lucrative
for all parties involved.
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205. You must be crazy, sir.
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206. Simple answer... da or no?
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207. Keep digging!
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208. Okay.
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209. He's coming.
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210. He's coming.
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211. Positions!
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