1. Long ago,
in a distant land,
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2. I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness,
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3. unleashed an unspeakable evil.
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4. But a foolish samurai warrior
wielding a magic sword,
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5. stepped forth to oppose me.
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6. Before the final blow
was struck,
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7. I tore open a portal in time
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8. and flung him into the future,
where my evil is law.
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9. Now the fool seeks to return
to the past
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10. and undo the future that is Aku.
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11. Yes, I can hold.
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12. Yes.
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13. I would like to place
an order for delivery.
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14. Aku.
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15. I think, I'm in the computer.
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16. Yes, that's it!
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17. I'd like a large... What?
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18. Huh?
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19. Extra thick!
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20. Thirty minutes or it's free? Excellent!
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21. You're early.
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22. I suppose you know why you're here.
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23. Right.
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24. Well, let me refresh your memory.
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25. Destroy Samurai Jack!
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26. Stupid!
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27. Idiotic!
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28. Stupid faulty androids!
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29. It's just like people say,
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30. if you want something done right,
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31. you've got to do it yourself.
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32. Do it yourself?
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33. Yes...
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34. Aku!
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35. Yes, it is I, Samurai Jack.
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36. How incredibly observant you are.
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37. Aw, put that thing away, Samurai.
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38. We all know what's going to happen.
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39. You'll swing your sword,
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40. I'll fly away and probably say
something, like,
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41. I'll be back, Samurai!
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42. And then,
I'll flutter off over the horizon,
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43. and we won't see each other
for about a week.
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44. And then, we'll do the same thing
all over again.
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45. Your word play will not trick me, villain.
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46. No, wait.
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47. I'll be back again, Samurai!
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48. You'll see!
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49. See what I mean?
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50. All right, Aku, what is this about?
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51. A duel!
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52. - A what?
- You heard me!
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53. Think about it, Jack.
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54. We could settle this thing once
and for all,
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55. man to man.
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56. No armies.
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57. No bounty hunters,
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58. but more importantly...
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59. No sword.
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60. No sword?
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61. How do you reply, Samurai?
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62. Very well.
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63. But you will follow three conditions.
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64. Name them.
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65. No superhuman powers.
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66. No evil minions to assist you.
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67. And three: No shape-shifting.
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68. You come in human form.
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69. Hey! That was four things!
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70. The last one was a two-parter.
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71. Hmm!
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72. I accept
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73. We shall meet before the rising sun
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74. at the ancient ruins beyond the valley
of the corpses.
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75. Agreed.
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76. Was that east or west
of the crimson hall of the ogre?
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77. East.
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78. East, right.
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79. You know where that is?
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80. Yes, yes. I will find it. Do not worry.
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81. You sure?
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82. No, no. Don't worry. I remember now.
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83. I can give you a ride if you—
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84. I will find it!
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85. Then I'll see you there!
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86. In human form.
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87. - What?
- In human form.
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88. I will see you there in human form.
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89. Oh...
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90. I'll be in human form.
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91. Right.
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92. Of course, I thought you meant...
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93. Never mind.
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94. Human form. Got it.
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95. - Right.
- Right.
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96. Right.
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97. And no sword.
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98. Right.
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99. What?
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100. Uh!
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101. Enough of this foolishness!
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102. It is time to let fate
determine our destiny.
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103. You seem a bit strong for a human,
don't you think, Aku?
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104. Well...
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105. Oh, wait. That's right.
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106. You said no superhuman, uh, strength.
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107. I understand now.
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108. Your reign of terror is over, Aku.
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109. You are finished.
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110. This fight is over?
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111. That pillar did not move by itself, Aku.
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112. Yes, it did.
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113. What was that, Aku?
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114. We agreed there would be
no shape-shifting.
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115. I knew he could not be trusted.
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116. All right, Aku,
if you cannot follow the rules,
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117. then neither will I.
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118. What?
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119. My sword!
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120. Wrong! It was your sword.
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121. The rule was no minions allowed.
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122. I wasn't the one who went for a sword.
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123. But that was because you were—
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124. Tsk, tsk, tsk...
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125. Could've, should've, would've...
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126. It's all part of life's sweet sorrow.
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127. You're so lucky, Samurai.
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128. Most of us have to live with our mistakes,
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129. But you get to die by yours!
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130. Say good-bye to your little toy, Jack...
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131. Once and for—
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132. Huh?
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133. A fake!
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134. That's right, Aku.
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135. You see, I am smart,
and you are pure evil.
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136. And I knew you would cheat.
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137. So, I had a fake sword made
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138. and hid it under that rock over there.
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139. Then I hid the real sword right down...
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140. here.
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141. You see, Jack...
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142. I knew that you knew I would cheat,
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143. so I came prepared.
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144. And now, you will learn
what it means to be a fool!
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145. I am afraid that you are the fool, Aku.
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146. Why?
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147. Because I knew that you knew that I knew
that you knew that I knew you would cheat.
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148. So, I hid fake swords all over this place.
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149. Now all you have to do, Aku,
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150. is figure out which one of these swords
is the real one.
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151. Huh? That's easy.
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152. It's this one!
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153. I mean, this one!
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154. Uh, it's this one.
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155. This one?
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156. Okay. It's this one! This one! This one!
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157. This one! Wait! This one!
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158. It's this one over here!
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159. This one! No!
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160. Okay, this one!
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161. This one!
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162. All right, Jack, where is the sword?
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163. I'll be back, Samurai!
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164. I'll be back!
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165. And I will be waiting, Aku...
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166. For no matter how long it may take,
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167. I will destroy you.
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