1. - And then Grimlock the Toy Maker
came charging over the hill
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2. with his evil horde of baby drankenwats.
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3. - Uh huh.
So I look at him and I say
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4. "You don't want to mess with me
Grimlock!
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5. "I'll use my heat ray!"
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6. - I'll use my heat ray?
- Yeah.
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7. "I'll use my heat ray."
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8. - What? What?
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9. - You could've used a better line.
- Yeah!
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10. - Really? Like what?
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11. - Um, well something like, uh,
"Don't toy with me, Toy Maker!"
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12. - Yeah, or
"These babies need changing!"
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13. - And then kick his butt!
- Oh, you mean something like,
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14. "It's time to pick up your toys, Toy Maker!
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15. "Your room is a mess!
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16. "I mean, look at it."
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17. - What kinda line is that?
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18. - You wanna defeat him or kiss him?
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19. - Wait.
Here's a good one.
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20. "I'm going to lock you up, Grimlock!"
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21. - You're pathetic.
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22. - Wait, where are you guys going?
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23. Hey, wait! Guys!
I know I'm able to do this.
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24. How about, "Watch it, Toy Maker.
Someone's gonna trip on those
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25. "babies ones day, and fall down the steps.
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26. "Then you'll feel bad.
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27. "Toy Maker."
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28. - Idiot.
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29. Hello, and how do folks,
this is Tansut,
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30. America's favorite intergalactic
ne'er-do-well,
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31. welcoming you to Space Ghost
Coast to Coast.
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32. Tonight, Space Ghost
yucks it up
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33. with funny man
Jon Stewart,
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34. and, who knows, maybe a
certain green someone
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35. might get his butt blasted.
Butt blasted. Ha!
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36. Well take that, Tansut!
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37. - And that! And that!
- Ooh, I'm sorry!
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38. - Now keep reading. You're doing great.
- I'm sorry! I didn't mean it that way!
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39. Welcome to the show!
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40. Greetings! I'm Space Ghost.
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41. Jon Stewart's here.
Zorak is over there.
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42. Is that it?
- Yes.
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43. - Jon, are you into aroma therapy?
- Yeah.
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44. - Well then let me introduce you to the
exotic fragrances of East India.
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45. - Sure.
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46. - Jon, picture a camel, if you will,
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47. traipsing across the desert sands.
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48. Uhh, hold on.
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49. Jon... I accidentally unhooked your oxygen.
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50. Sorry.
- Oh man. We're screwed!
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51. - Don't panic!
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52. - What're we gonna do?
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53. - Hold your breath for ten seconds.
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54. Oh, just...?
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55. - My guest tonight is a fellow
talk show host.
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56. A fine comedian and a
good buddy of mine.
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57. Ladies and gentleman,
please welcome
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58. Jon Stewart!
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59. Jon? Hello?
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60. - Jon, hang on!
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61. I'll revive you with my new
electro-lever.
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62. - That was ten seconds?
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63. Great galaxies, man!
Are you on some kind of a bender?
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64. - Sorry.
Sorry about that.
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65. - You're okay, right?
- Yep.
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66. Here we go.
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67. - My word.
- Yep, that's fixed.
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68. - What is Hollywood doing to our children?
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69. - You know, the physical gags
never really work.
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70. - Sure they do!
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71. - Yeah, that's true.
Eh, okay.
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72. That didn't hurt.
- Thank you
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73. for being on our little show
citizen Jon.
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74. - Thank you! Thank you
for having me.
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75. I'm very excited to be here.
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76. - You're a fellow talk show host.
Do you have any advice for me?
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77. - Always introduce yourself to
the guest before the show.
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78. That way, you know,
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79. they'll know who's hosting it.
- I'm hosting it!
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80. Space Ghost!
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81. Well, I was thinking you'd come into my
dressing room and introduce yourself
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82. - Oh.
- Then I realized
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83. we're on different planets
and it's really hard.
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84. I... my sister called.
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85. - But I was trying to do that.
You walk up.
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86. Yeah.
- And if you have Claudia Schiffer on
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87. don't mention the word cheese
cause she freaks.
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88. - Wow that's good!
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89. Moltar, make a note of that.
- No.
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90. - C'mon...
- I'm busy.
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91. - Are you...
- No!
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92. - We'll make a note of it.
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93. Jon, do you have problems with sidekicks?
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94. - No.
- Really? How come?
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95. - Can't afford one.
- Just capture one!
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96. Right, Zorak?
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97. - Sidekicks are good at kicking.
Zorak.
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98. - May I kick you, Jon?
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99. - Are you serious?
- Zorak, settle down!
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100. - I'll kick your kidneys out
and then make a pie with 'em.
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101. Zorak!
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102. - Serve it to ya while you're still alive.
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103. - You're not making a pie
and that's that!
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104. That's what I'll do.
- Where were we?
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105. Sidekicks.
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106. What do you think they
should do on a show?
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107. - The sidekick is there to,
seriously,
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108. to pipe down,
not say anything.
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109. - I like that!
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110. Moltar, Make a note of that!
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111. I can't hear you.
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112. Breaking up.
- Quit it.
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113. You're doing that with your mouth.
- What? what's that?
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114. Can't hear ya.
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115. Okay, we're clear for two.
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116. Anybody need anything?
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117. - I'd like some water, please.
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118. - That was some funny stuff.
Loved the kidney thing.
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119. - Yeah, well...
I wasn't kidding about that.
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120. - Yeah, well, that Zorak, he's...
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121. He's pretty funny when he gets
all worked up.
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122. - Just keep on keepin' on.
You're doing a great job.
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123. Love the work.
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124. - Who asked you?
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125. 01:20.
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126. You need anything Space Ghost?
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127. - Do I have time for a hot pastrami?
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128. - 01:10? I kinda doubt it.
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129. - See what you can do.
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130. - Do you like a good pastrami sandwich?
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131. - Oh boy. Man, do I.
Minute to go.
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132. - What do ya have on it?
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133. - Oh, just a little mayon...
I mean... mustard.
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134. - You almost said mayonnaise
Space Ghost!
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135. 45 seconds.
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136. You almost said mayonnaise on pastrami
Space Ghost.
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137. - No I didn't.
I said mustard.
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138. - Wow.
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139. Oh.
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140. Space Ghost.
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141. - I said mustard.
30 seconds.
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142. - I'm sorry? I missed that.
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143. - Well mustard is what I said.
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144. - Really?
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145. 20 seconds.
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146. - You're calling me a liar,
aren't you Stewart?
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147. - Maybe.
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148. Fifteen.
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149. Ten seconds.
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150. Get ready.
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151. five, four, three...
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152. - Am I gonna get that sandwich or no...
two
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153. - We're back with close personal friend
and talk show compadre
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154. Jon Stewart!
- I wanted to,
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155. you know, I feel stupid about this.
- Mhmm.
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156. - Just get some advice on, like,
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157. you know, talk shows and stuff.
I mean...
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158. you're the man.
- Wait a minute.
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159. Now you want advice from me?
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160. - Absolutely I'm looking for
advice from you!
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161. Big man, leotards, musc...
Sure!
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162. - Here that, Moltar?
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163. I've got musk.
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164. - You don't have musk!
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165. I sure do.
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166. Manly space musk!
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167. - You smell like a farm!
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168. - You should stay in touch, Jon.
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169. We may have a vacancy in the
control room
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170. very soon.
Look, I'm not desperate.
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171. I just...
yeah, you know, I mean,
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172. you can throw me a bone.
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173. You know what I'm sayin'?
- Sure.
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174. - I don't eat much.
- Bones are cheap.
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175. - I would just hang very quietly.
I'd write for you.
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176. I'd do whatever. Sweep up.
Uh-huh.
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177. - I just need experience.
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178. - By cracky, I'll start you at
courtesy clerk!
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179. Can you clean up the spill on
aisle nine?
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180. - I hope.
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181. There's room for advancement, right?
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182. - Oh, yeah. Head courtesy clerk
then cashier.
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183. - It's up to you guys.
Use me as you wish.
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184. Join the band.
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185. I got kind of, like, a tambourine
situation happening.
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186. - Tambourine?
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187. - Tambourine, phooey.
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188. - When did you start talking?
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189. - Just this minute, big boy.
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190. - Huh. Weird.
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191. - You need a shave.
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192. - Who, me?
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193. - No, Jonny boy.
- Stay out of it!
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194. - I had a beard.
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195. - But you don't now?
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196. - No.
I'll tell you what,
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197. you wanna know why talk shows
don't have beards?
- Tell me.
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198. - Cause Mike Douglas won't let us.
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199. - Really? And just who is
this Mike Douglas?
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200. - He's in charge of all the talk show
hosts.
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201. He calls, and if you have a...
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202. - I had facial hair.
Uh huh.
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203. - And I was forced to shave it.
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204. - So Mike Douglas is a stickler
for facial hair?
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205. - Does he write you, too?
- No, he doesn't!
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206. - You know the advice that I have for you,
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207. and this is something that
Mike Douglas told me
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208. - Wait! Let me guess!
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209. Work extra hard when your guests
have hangovers?
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210. - Always open with a number.
- Huh.
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211. - People love it.
- Zorak, eh, number,
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212. what do ya think?
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213. - Yeah, okay.
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214. - Just come out.
Pow. Pow.
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215. Hittem' with something from
Kismet, Oklahoma!
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216. They go crazy.
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217. - Mike Douglas is a bonified genius!
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218. - Then you bring out, I don't know,
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219. Suzanne Pleshette, and the
whole thing takes off.
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220. - I am seeing things for the first time.
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221. - I'm here to help!
I'm here.
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222. I'm tellin' you, if we get
together Space Ghost
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223. we can make a big thing.
- Mhmm.
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224. - I have a little thing, you have
a bigger thing,
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225. but together
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226. we could take...
- Everything
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227. down a notch Jon?
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228. Because I'd really like to take everything
down a notch.
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229. If I may.
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230. Yeah, there's a lot of beautiful
people here tonight.
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231. I see some beautiful people here.
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232. And right here.
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233. Hi.
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234. But, you know,
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235. life as a super hero, ladies and gentleman,
can be stressful.
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236. I've flown all over the galaxy
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237. but I always come back to a special place
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238. in my heart.
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239. It's a place called home.
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240. This one's for me mum.
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241. Oh man.
We're screwed!
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242. Ooh, I'm sorry!
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