1. 1x13 - "So Many Birthdays"
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2. - How can you live like this?
- It was fine till
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3. - you guys started whining.
- Whining? The whole temple reeks!
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4. - I found it!
- What manner of magical alloy is this?
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5. - It's a burrito.
- It's the tuna burrito from Aqua-Mexican!
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6. That place closed
like 5 years ago.
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7. Huh? What's this?
It kind of looks like you guys
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8. - and my Mom.
- Oh, Steven, that is us!
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9. - Really?
- The hard part was getting the shark to pose.
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10. - Why's everyone dressed like old-timey people?
- They are old-timey people.
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11. W-wait.
But that would mean...
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12. - How old are you guys?
- Much older than any human.
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13. - Does that mean you'll live forever?
- No, no. We don't age,
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14. but we can still get hurt and die.
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15. But not from food poisoning.
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16. I just can't believe you
guys are like a bazillion years old!
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17. How do you find a cake big
enough for all those candles?
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18. - We don't really celebrate birthdays.
- Why not?
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19. - It's not our way.
- Well, I can't just ignore this tramesty
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20. of unjustice! I pledge that
you will have your birthdays!
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21. With all the candy, cake, and ice
cream you've been denied!
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22. And the birthday queen is...
Amethyst! I hope you like it.
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23. Dad made me this outfit and it brings
me special birthday luck every year!
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24. Hey! It goes like this.
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25. - Lion, you're killin' me.
- Um, Steven...
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26. I know you put a lot of
effort into... putting faces on
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27. things, but could it be we're just
a tad... mature for this ritual?
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28. - Boop!
- Oh! You will remove that
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29. - this instant!
- Wait! Here!
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30. - Aww! I'll use it all the time!
- No!
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31. It's for the piñata! The piñata is
an artifact from ancient aqua Mexico.
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32. Am I... getting...
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33. - close?
- Higher.
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34. - What next, Steven?
- Well, you were supposed to get
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35. - delicious candy when you broke it open...
- Wait.
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36. - You had candy you didn't just give it to us?
- There will be more
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37. sweet treats at Pearl's party.
I promise.
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38. Happy birthday!
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39. - Honk!
- Steven, that is a brave look.
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40. - No, it's funny!
- How?
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41. Uh... Oh, geez, I'm
breaking character. Wait, wait, wait!
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42. I wrote some jokes! Why did
Pearl throw butter out the window?
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43. - You did what?
- To see a butterfly!
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44. I never did that.
Steven, are you telling lies?
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45. N-no! Oh! I know.
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46. - Pearl, do you like pie?
- I do like pie.
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47. Well, you're in luck!
I baked you a pie!
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48. - I sure hope nothing happens to it!
- Yes, me too.
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49. - Wh-whoops!
- Whoa, Steven!
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50. I've got you! Be careful.
You almost fell right on that ...
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51. See, Pearl? It's funny!
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52. Pearl says she's all partied out
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53. - and she's ready to go home.
- This isn't going
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54. at all like it should.
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55. I've got to pull out
the ultimate birthday.
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56. Okay, there's no way
you're not gonna love this!
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57. It's kazoo racers!
You get in a car, you play a kazoo ...
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58. What more could you want?
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59. - Dad used to do this for me every year.
- I think this is why
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60. - aging makes humans die.
- Steven, thank you for the birthday parties,
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61. - but I don't think we'll need any more.
- Why not?
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62. Our age is only an illusion.
And Pearl's pretty sure this ritual is
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63. - more for human children.
- Nothing against children!
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64. Children? Everyone
gets to have birthdays!
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65. Seriously. Give it a try!
You're never too old!
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66. - We're just too big.
- You're not too big.
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67. - Y-y-you just get in and then, uh...
- I can fit!
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68. Which way to the baby war?
Eat tread, dirtbags!
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69. What if birthdays are
just for little kids?
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70. - What if even I'm too old?
- No way. You totally fit!
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71. Oh, my bad.
You are too old.
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72. - Are you okay?
- I just need to think.
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73. Kazoo racers suddenly seems undignified.
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74. I never realized birthdays meant leaving
things behind. All these parties...
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75. Ugh! So embarrassing.
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76. Oh, onion... so young, so innocent.
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77. Whackerman Jr.! Aww...
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78. I can't be seen playing childish
games like Whackerman Jr.
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79. I better stick to sophisticated
games like regular Whackerman.
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80. It's whackin' time!
You're gonna get whacked! Ohh!
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81. That was fun, but a
boy on the cusp of manhood
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82. can't spend the whole day whackering.
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83. I need to take control of my life.
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84. It's time to get a proper job!
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85. But which one? Surf master?
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86. No. Love doctor?
I'm too squeamish.
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87. Ah!
Now this is the job for me.
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88. Ha. This day went so
fast. I need a pick-me-up!
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89. - Two of the usual, please! I've had quite a day.
- You must be confused, pal.
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90. I work here every day and I've
never seen your mug before.
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91. Oh, hardy-har, Lars!
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92. - Huh?
- I used to make jokes!
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93. But you know what?
I've had a lot of time to think today,
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94. and sometimes you got to
smarten up, act like an adult.
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95. 'Cause one day, if you don't,
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96. everyone you know is
gonna grow up without you!
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97. And you won't have
little Steven to pick on
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98. anymore because I'll
be a grown-up, too!
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99. - Steven who?
- Steven Quartz Universe!
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100. And I want that
doughnut, right there! Oh!
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101. - Sir! A-are you okay?
- I'm old!
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102. - Yeah, and nuts.
- I'm gonna have to eat fiber cereal.
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103. All my teeth are gonna fall out.
And then I'll have to eat oatmeal,
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104. and it'll be sugar-free!
Sugar fre-e-e-e!
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105. I need to reverse this!
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106. I need... a reverse birthday!
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107. The king costume.
Will you help me into my birthday suit?
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108. Yeah, you better run!
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109. Ohh! I'm... too old...
for this.
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110. Lion!
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111. You know ...
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112. - Steven was right. This is fun.
- You don't have to
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113. - keep wearing that stuff.
- It makes me feel... important.
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114. - Steven! What's wrong with him?
- He's okay!
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115. - He's just really, really, really, really old.
- Gems can't die from aging...
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116. - But he's half human.
- Can't we fix him?
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117. My birthday suit might help.
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118. Good as new! Right?
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119. Thanks, guys. But I guess
this suit's all out of birthday magic.
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120. We had a good run, huh?
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121. - More birthdays... now.
- Check it out, b-day boy!
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122. - Heh, I'm a tiny car!
- Beep beep.
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123. Kids... stuff...?
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124. Eh, piñata time!
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125. - It's not working!
- Pearl, get over here!
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126. - I can't!
- For Steven!
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127. Oh, look... I have what, uh ...
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128. what appears to be... a delicious pie!
I sincerely hope that...
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129. nothing happens to...
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130. Oh, Steven!
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131. Are you trying to kill him faster?
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132. Pearl!
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133. - Garnet!
- Garnet, stop!
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134. I thought violence...
would be the answer.
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135. I think the party approach
was working.
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136. Would you guys just...
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137. please... control yourselves?
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138. Uh... Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry.
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139. I shouldn't have yelled.
But I can't stand to see
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140. - you freaking out like this!
- Wha...?
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141. - Steven, you're changing!
- Your age is fluctuating!
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142. I think your gem is reacting
to your state of mind!
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143. - Steven, stop feeling old!
- But I wasted your time.
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144. - We all have such little time...
- Steven!
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145. You have to feel like yourself...
sweet and considerate
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146. - and only occasionally obnoxious.
- Do you really think I'm all those things?
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147. - Yes!
- Why else would you throw us all those parties?
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148. Oh, my gosh.
You're right. I am pretty great.
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149. Oh, Steven! Steven!
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150. We'll work on the rest later.
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