1. Oh, my God.
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2. From up here,
Point Place looks just like Paris.
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3. You think that looks like Paris?
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4. God, no wonder
you think Kelso could be a model.
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5. Whoa, I could so be a model.
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6. Come on, man.
Shut up and just keep painting.
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7. It's done!
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8. Gentlemen, we have finally done it.
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9. A pot leaf on the water tower.
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10. This is the proudest moment of my life.
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11. It doesn't look like a pot leaf.
What?
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12. It looks like a hand giving the finger.
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13. It doesn't have to look perfect, Hyde.
It's art.
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14. Get up and make it better.
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15. Fine.
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16. Just, yeah,
make it wider right up there.
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17. Yeah, out further, though. Yeah.
Right up there...
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18. My God! Michael!
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19. Kelso!
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20. Yeah?
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21. How's it look from down there?
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22. It looks like
it's giving me the finger.
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23. You guys, this is so stupid.
We should just take him to the hospital.
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24. No, Jackie, then my dad will find out.
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25. Shut up.
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26. My mom's a nurse. I'll wake her up.
Maybe she can fix him.
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27. - Don't wake up Red though, he'll kill us all.
- Gee, you think?
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28. Red.
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29. Kitty.
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30. Okay, let's go.
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31. Everybody hop in the car and let's go now.
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32. Where's your mom?
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33. Shut up.
Don't you dare talk about my mother!
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34. Hanging out
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35. Down the street
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36. The same old thing
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37. We did last week
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38. Not a thing to do
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39. But talk to you
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40. Whoa, yeah
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41. Hello, Wisconsin!
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42. No. Dad.
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43. No, there is no way
this could've been avoided.
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44. Yes. No.
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45. Yeah, the cow kicked me
after I tipped it over.
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46. I'm not lying!
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47. Okay, all right, I love you, too.
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48. He bought it.
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49. Excuse me, yes.
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50. My friend and I would like
our sponge baths now, please.
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51. - Eric, are you all right?
- They were sleeping!
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52. Michael, as God is my witness,
I will nurse you back to health.
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53. Thanks, Jackie.
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54. I'm in a lot of pain.
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55. My poor baby.
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56. All right. That's it.
I'm going. Whoever wants a ride?
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57. Hey, sorry about tonight, you guys.
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58. Sorry? Why?
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59. We got to watch you fall, man.
I had a blast!
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60. See you, Kelso.
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61. Hyde is such a jerk. This is all his fault.
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62. What are you talking about?
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63. Who said the pot leaf wasn't good enough?
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64. Hyde did.
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65. And who said
you should lean out further?
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66. Hyde did.
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67. So, who made you fall off the water tower?
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68. No, wait, Jackie, that's crazy.
Hyde's like my best friend.
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69. No.
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70. Brian Piccolo
and Gayle Sayers were best friends.
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71. Brian's Song.
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72. I love that movie.
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73. See, Michael,
Gayle held Brian's hand and cried...
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74. and gave him sips of cool water
in his hospital bed.
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75. Yeah.
So where are you now?
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76. In a hospital bed.
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77. And where's Hyde?
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78. He isn't giving me sips of cool water,
that's for sure!
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79. Well, we got vandals in this town.
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80. I was driving home and I saw
the water tower giving me the finger.
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81. Vandals you say?
Where were you last night, Eric?
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82. Can it, Laurie.
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83. Eric, you look pale. Let me see your eyes.
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84. Look at me.
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85. Do you have a fever?
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86. I know what you need.
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87. Right after breakfast,
I want you to mow the lawn.
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88. The fresh air will do you good.
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89. Eric, is something bothering you?
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90. God, make it stop!
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91. Kitty.
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92. Kitty.
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93. Kitty.
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94. Kitty.
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95. Red.
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96. Kitty.
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97. Red.
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98. Well, okay, now...
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99. so far Eric is nine out of ten.
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100. He's got bloodshot eyes, mood swings...
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101. irregular appetite, odd sleeping patterns.
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102. Red, our Johnny is high.
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103. Kitty, that's nonsense. He's not on drugs...
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104. he's just weird.
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105. Morning.
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106. Hungry?
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107. I overslept. I'm late for school.
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108. It's...
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109. Bye.
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110. That kid's on dope.
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111. I'll say. It's Sunday.
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112. Boy, these after school specials
are thrilling.
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113. I mean, who knew it takes only one beer...
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114. to turn a cheerleader into a whore?
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115. You know, Fez, this show
contains an important message.
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116. That very thing happened
to a good friend of mine.
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117. Really?
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118. May I ask who?
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119. Man, that is one drunk, slutty cheerleader.
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120. - There go her pom poms.
- All right, that is quite enough!
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121. Everywhere I look now it's sex, sex, sex.
It's disgusting...
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122. and I, for one,
will not have it in my basement!
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123. Eric, what's wrong with you?
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124. Well, excuse me, Donna,
for having a little moral fiber.
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125. I'm going to go check on Michael.
Yeah, how's he doing?
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126. Yeah, like you care.
Why don't you just apologize?
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127. Apologize for what?
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128. If you don't know
then obviously, you're a big, fat jerk.
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129. Okay, she's nuts.
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130. I know. You are not fat.
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131. - Eric.
- Get off of my mom. What?
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132. What is it with you?
You've been extra losery lately.
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133. I saw Mom and Dad having sex.
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134. You poor thing.
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135. It's all right. It's okay. Baby's fine.
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136. Laurie, it was horrible.
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137. And I can't get the image out of my mind.
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138. I mean, it was Mom and Dad,
but they were...
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139. They were like a pair of wildebeests
on a National Geographic Special.
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140. Deep in the
unexplored psyche...
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141. of a confused young man...
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142. is a wilderness called...
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143. wild Wisconsin.
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144. After several days of tracking...
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145. we've finally located the den
of the wily Red.
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146. Here we see Suburbus Sexmaniacus...
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147. tracking his prey through the living room.
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148. Observe as the male indicates
his interest in mating...
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149. by making loud, aggressive noises.
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150. The female's attractive
double knit pantsuit...
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151. and scarlet lips signal her readiness.
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152. This display is not lost on the male.
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153. Here he goes.
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154. Let's watch.
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155. Eric, I am so sorry.
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156. But you have to understand.
Mom and Dad are in love.
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157. - They have urges and needs just like us.
- No urges. No needs.
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158. I learned in psychology class...
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159. that what you went through is traumatic.
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160. But don't worry.
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161. Many people have
had this same experience.
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162. Really? And they turned out all right?
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163. Well, some of them
turned out to be serial killers.
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164. But I'm sure that's just a coincidence.
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165. But whatever.
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166. You know what the sad thing is?
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167. I actually think you're trying to be nice.
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168. Yeah. It's just not my strong suit. Sorry.
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169. So, I'll be all right?
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170. No.
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171. Donna, I'm really not in the mood.
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172. Come on.
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173. I'm just trying to get a little action here.
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174. Donna, I just can't.
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175. Come on, all the other guys are doing it.
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176. What's going on?
Are you, like, mad at me or something?
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177. I...
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178. Donna, I saw my parents having sex.
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179. God! Yee!
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180. Yeah.
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181. And you liked it, right?
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182. No! God, no! That's sick! Everyone's sick!
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183. I'm kidding, Eric, I'm kidding.
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184. Good one.
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185. All right, look.
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186. I'm gonna tell you something
I've never told anybody else...
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187. all right?
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188. When I was 12, I saw my parents doing it.
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189. How did you get over it?
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190. At first I was, like, completely freaked out.
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191. But then, eventually, the pain receded...
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192. and I was able to live again.
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193. I don't see this receding.
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194. I mean, I walked in on Red and Kitty
and they were...
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195. They were right in the middle.
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196. God, that's nothing.
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197. I caught my parents outside,
in broad daylight, on my hammock.
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198. Where I used to read, like,
my Nancy Drew mysteries.
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199. That is so much worse than mine.
Oh, God.
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200. I can remember, like,
little bits of naked skin peeking...
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201. through the holes of the hammock.
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202. Wow.
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203. It's weird,
but knowing what you went through...
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204. just makes me feel so much better.
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205. - Because you're, like, totally over it, right?
- And later...
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206. they came inside...
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207. and they had, like,
this checkerboard pattern...
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208. all over their arms and legs.
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209. And my dad laughed...
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210. and said they fell asleep on the hammock.
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211. But I knew it was a lie.
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212. I knew what he did to my mom.
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213. Your mom.
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214. - Okay, I'm ready to fool around.
- Please take me home.
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215. Look, Jackie, it's my friends.
Eric, Donna, and Fez.
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216. Yep, that's all my friends.
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217. Kelso, if you have something
to say to me, why don't you just say it?
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218. No.
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219. No.
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220. I think you have something to say to me.
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221. And I'm gonna be
right over here when you're ready.
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222. All right, this is stupid.
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223. - Hyde, just apologize already.
- Forman, it's not my fault.
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224. Whatever, he thinks it is.
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225. It is. You made me fall off the water tower.
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226. How? Did I push you?
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227. - Well, no, but...
- Did I make the railing slippery?
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228. - No.
- Then how is it my fault?
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229. Because...
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230. you didn't like my artwork.
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231. And you don't respect me,
and you laugh at me...
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232. and you're inconsiderate of my feelings.
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233. Kelso, no offense,
but you sound like a chick.
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234. What...
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235. Man, I do!
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236. Okay, all right.
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237. Do you remember that time
when I was climbing your fence...
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238. and I hit my forehead on that tree
branch, and I fell into your yard...
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239. and your dog Yogi came out of the
house and bit me twice on the ass?
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240. Yeah.
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241. You bled and you cried.
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242. - I bled, I didn't cry.
- Yeah, you did.
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243. You bled and you cried.
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244. And you laughed, man. A lot.
While I was bleeding.
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245. - Do you see my point?
- Yeah. It's funny when friends get hurt.
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246. Close enough.
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247. - Sorry.
- Hey, stop talking like a chick.
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248. God, you're both idiots.
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249. Eric.
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250. Your father and I have noticed that
you've been acting very strange lately.
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251. Like a hippie.
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252. - Is there something you want to tell us?
- Are you on dope? Are you?
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253. Because we can help you get clean.
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254. - There's counseling, hospitalization...
- My foot kicking your ass.
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255. Mom, Dad, I'm not on drugs.
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256. What a relief. You have no idea...
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257. Kitty, he's lying.
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258. That's what the hopheads do.
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259. Dad, I swear, I'm not on drugs.
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260. Then, what the hell's wrong with you?
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261. I accidentally... I was upstairs and I...
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262. Okay, you know what, I'm on drugs.
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263. For God's sake, he saw you guys doing it!
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264. There.
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265. I helped.
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266. Honey.
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267. - Were your father and I having intercourse?
- Mom.
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268. No wonder you've been acting so weird.
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269. Red, say something. Make him feel better.
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270. It's more fun than it looks.
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271. - Red.
- What? What do you want me to say?
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272. Look, you know what? You guys do it.
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273. And I'm okay with that.
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274. So...
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275. thanks.
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276. Sure thing.
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277. I just hope you learned your lesson.
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278. Yes, sir. I did.
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279. Wait a second. What lesson?
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280. Always knock.
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281. - Even in the middle of the afternoon.
- Oh, my God.
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282. Damn, that was funny.
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283. I don't know how funny it is.
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284. I mean, what if that had been
you walking in on your parents.
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285. And your mother was a dancer.
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286. I imagine
that would have been quite something.
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287. Quit it, Kitty.
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288. Hey, don't.
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289. Now, stop it.
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290. Boy, Kelso is going to be
so happy that I finished his graffiti.
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291. Yes.
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292. I am very talented.
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293. I...
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294. No.
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295. I am hurt.
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296. And all alone.
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297. And it is giving me the finger.
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