1. What are you doing?
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2. Nothing.
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3. How's it going back there?
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4. Okay, Donna, just for that,
I'm not taking your bra off.
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5. You weren't taking it off anyway.
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6. Hello, House of Chicken?
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7. How big are your wings?
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8. Breasts.
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9. How big are your breasts?
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10. This is Fez, who is this?
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11. My first prank call.
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12. Every night with you is an adventure.
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13. Yeah, Fez, it's a real roller coaster, ain't it?
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14. Hyde, how come
you do not have a girlfriend?
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15. Maybe if you did something with your hair.
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16. Hey, you, is there a motel in this pukehole?
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17. There's a Sleepy Time Lodge
three pukeholes over.
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18. Thanks. I'm Chrissy.
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19. - I'm Hyde.
- Who cares.
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20. You wanna hop on my Vespa
and show me where it is?
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21. Mother of God, I think I love you.
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22. Love is an outdated concept...
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23. used by industrialists
to keep women subservient.
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24. Mother of God, I do love you.
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25. Hanging out
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26. Down the street
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27. The same old thing
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28. We did last week
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29. Not a thing to do
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30. But talk to you
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31. Whoa, yeah
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32. Hello, Wisconsin!
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33. Damn.
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34. Damn.
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35. Damn.
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36. What happened?
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37. You just beat me 15-nothing.
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38. So what?
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39. I mean, hitting a ball
with two paddles is so boring.
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40. I need a new challenge,
something totally different.
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41. I need to hit the ball with...
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42. smaller paddles.
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43. Where's Red keep his tools?
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44. No. Not Red's Pong.
I don't think you should be going...
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45. The garage! Of course!
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46. Okay, if you screw that up,
he's gonna blame me.
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47. I know.
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48. Who'd have thought
I'd meet a radical number like you...
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49. in a slag heap town like this.
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50. I can't believe
you're just passing through, man.
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51. You're dark, you're obnoxious...
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52. you're dangerously paranoid.
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53. Until tonight, I didn't even
know a girl like you existed.
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54. Has it occurred to you that we're on a bed?
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55. Man, this is so perfect.
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56. You're easy, too?
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57. Yeah.
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58. See, the establishment
doesn't want us having sex...
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59. because they know
it makes us feel good, right?
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60. So if we can feel good on our own,
what do we need the establishment for?
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61. So, every time we have sex...
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62. it's a huge protest.
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63. You know what?
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64. I think I feel a huge protest coming on.
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65. Thank you so much...
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66. for helping with
my home ec project, Mrs. Forman.
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67. You're welcome, honey.
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68. Now, Jackie,
have you ever made a pie before?
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69. No, I don't really cook much.
I just plan on getting by on my looks.
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70. Okay, then.
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71. Michael.
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72. Jackie.
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73. - What are you doing here?
- I'm baking a pie.
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74. I'm making small paddles.
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75. Fine.
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76. Fine.
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77. So, Donna, what say
you and I take a little drive tonight?
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78. I don't know.
Do you think you can unlock the car?
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79. Where should the three of us go
on our drive?
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80. Actually, Fez, just Donna and I are gonna...
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81. I see.
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82. So, you are going to ditch me.
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83. Just like Hyde.
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84. Every day, I am here
with my heart on my sleeve...
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85. hoping only for friendship and acceptance.
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86. And what do I get?
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87. Abandonment.
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88. Loneliness.
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89. When is it Fez's turn?
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90. Where is my whore?
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91. Damn you, Hyde. Did you go
horseback riding without me?
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92. No.
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93. I just met
the most amazing woman. Chrissy.
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94. And she just ditched her entire life
to start over in New York, man.
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95. Wait.
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96. - Why is she going to New York?
- She's going to start a punk band.
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97. A punk band.
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98. Cool. What is punk anyways?
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99. Punk is the nihilistic outcry...
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100. against the corporate
rock and roll takeover.
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101. It's the soundtrack to the revolution, man.
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102. I thought you said Blue Oyster Cult
was the soundtrack to the revolution.
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103. Look, the point is
that she asked me to go with her.
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104. Why would you want to go to New York?
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105. It's a big city, man,
the bars are open until 4:00...
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106. that's where all the music's happening.
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107. - If I can make it there...
- You can't make it there.
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108. - But if I can make it there...
- But, you won't make it there.
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109. Would you just listen.
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110. If I can make it there...
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111. Damn it, Forman,
now I lost my train of thought!
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112. Kelso! You have 10 seconds
to tell me what you're doing.
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113. I can explain...
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114. Nine seconds!
See...
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115. Eight!
But the counting...
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116. - Three.
- What?
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117. - There's no way that was five seconds.
- It is now. Three!
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118. I just wanted...
Two.
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119. Smaller paddles.
Time!
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120. Don't hurt me!
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121. Smaller paddles?
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122. Is it broken?
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123. Okay, I'm too good at Pong.
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124. It's a curse.
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125. I know what you mean. It's boring. I
haven't played this thing in over a month.
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126. Right. Exactly.
Okay, now stay with me here.
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127. That's why I took it apart.
See smaller paddles equal bigger fun.
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128. You may have something there.
We'll give it a try.
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129. Seeing as you already opened it.
Great.
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130. And if we can't put it back together,
you owe me $118.
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131. I don't have $118.
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132. Then I'll have to kill you.
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133. Okay.
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134. Jackie, all right, honey. Let's just review.
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135. What do you think
went wrong with this pie?
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136. - Too many eggs?
- No.
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137. - The pan was too small?
- Not even close.
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138. Is it because
Michael doesn't love me anymore?
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139. Almost.
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140. It's because you were
talking on the phone about Michael...
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141. instead of watching the pie, like
you promised me you would this time.
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142. Again.
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143. You liar.
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144. I don't know, Hyde.
I mean, here, you're the cool guy.
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145. But do you know
how many cool guys live in New York?
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146. There's like...
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147. Lou Reed, man!
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148. Do you want to mess with that?
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149. Why do you want to leave Point Place?
It is fun.
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150. Yeah, it is fun, man...
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151. and I'm gonna miss
the hell out of you guys.
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152. But Chrissy's cool.
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153. And it's the Big Apple, man.
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154. Do you think Lou Reed's in the phone
book? Because I bet he'd really like me.
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155. Lou Reed.
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156. Where are you going?
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157. Who's Chrissy?
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158. It's not bad here, man. We got the TV.
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159. And peanut butter. And I got this thing.
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160. The ball part rolled under the dryer.
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161. Hyde, you cannot leave.
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162. You gave me my first beer, remember?
And then I threw up on that cop.
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163. That was a good time, man.
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164. Wait a minute, back up...
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165. nobody tells me anything.
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166. What's the ball doing under the dryer?
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167. So, Hyde's like really leaving.
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168. Yeah.
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169. It's like...
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170. time's just passing us by.
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171. You know, you've got to like...
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172. seize the day.
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173. - You are so right.
- Yeah.
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174. Okay, what's so funny?
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175. Nothing.
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176. No, tell me.
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177. I know you're going for the bra.
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178. How did you know?
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179. It's just, every time you go for
my bra, your lips stop moving.
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180. So...
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181. you're really not having any fun?
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182. No, I'm having a good time.
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183. I would just like a little attention
while you're struggling with my underwear.
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184. I'm here too.
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185. It doesn't always have to be
about the twins.
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186. The twins?
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187. Is that what you call them?
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188. That is so very hot.
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189. Okay.
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190. Take me home.
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191. Jackie...
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192. just take the money and buy a pie.
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193. Mrs. Forman, if I buy a pie,
that's cheating and I'll fail.
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194. Trust me. If you bake it, you'll fail, too.
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195. What's this about
Hyde moving to New York?
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196. No. He's only 17.
His mother would never let him do that.
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197. Actually, Michael told me
that Hyde's mom drinks a lot.
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198. She probably won't even care.
You know drunk people are like that.
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199. Okay...
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200. let's make another pie.
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201. I will make the filling...
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202. and I will make the crust.
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203. What will I make?
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204. You will go into the living room
and make me a drink.
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205. He can't just drop out of high school.
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206. And New York City is no place
for a 17-year-old kid.
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207. It's Sodom and Gomorrah with a subway.
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208. We'll have to have a talk with him.
His mom sure as hell won't do it.
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209. And somebody's got to beat
some sense into that idiot.
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210. Red, you do care.
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211. Are you ready to rock and roll?
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212. - We don't think that you should go.
- New York is a dangerous place.
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213. A young man today
needs a high school diploma.
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214. In New York, you get mugged
for no good reason.
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215. Do you have any idea
what the job market is like?
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216. The people are rude.
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217. And you have feelings.
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218. Without that sheepskin, you are nothing.
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219. And not the kind of nothing
that you are now.
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220. An even lower, more pathetic nothing.
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221. They spit. That's right, they spit!
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222. What are you gonna put
on your resume? "Dumbass"?
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223. I'm not afraid of anything, and I'm going.
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224. That didn't go that great.
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225. Way to go, Kitty.
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226. Hey, don't touch!
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227. I'm about to take off the doohickey.
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228. Wait.
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229. Red, don't you think
we should disconnect...
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230. the transistor
from the secondary circuit board first?
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231. Sure.
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232. And then, we'll work on the...
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233. doohickey.
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234. Bitching.
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235. It is too my suitcase!
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236. Nothing in this house is yours!
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237. Shut up!
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238. So, your mom's taking it pretty hard?
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239. No, I haven't told her yet.
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240. So, Hyde, you're, like,
really going through with this?
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241. Yeah, man.
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242. I mean, you know.
I know people spit on you there...
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243. and the rats are as big
as your head or whatever.
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244. But this might be
my only chance to escape, Forman.
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245. You can't leave now.
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246. We're finally getting old enough to
do some serious damage to this town.
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247. Remember we were gonna
paint that pot leaf on the water tower?
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248. Vandalism, while tempting...
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249. is not enough reason for me to stay.
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250. Plus, you can do that without me.
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251. But we won't do that without you.
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252. Hyde, you're the reason we do
so many stupid, senseless things.
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253. Yeah, that is true.
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254. Hyde, I've never
told this to another human being...
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255. but I...
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256. Cannot get Donna's bra off.
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257. - Hooks or snaps?
- Both. She keeps throwing me changeups.
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258. All right, here's what you do, okay?
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259. You buy a bra
and you practice on it at home...
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260. then you give it to Donna as a gift.
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261. See, that's brilliant.
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262. You're like an evil genius, man!
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263. Where's your bag?
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264. You're not going.
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265. No.
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266. But I'd like to mount another protest
if you have the time.
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267. This is my friend's number in New York.
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268. Don't call me.
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269. Yeah, I won't.
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270. Chrissy...
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271. do you mind if I steal the towels?
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272. Sorry. I already got them.
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273. Kelso. Good luck.
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274. Yeah, she's been a great ride, man.
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275. - It worked!
- Smaller paddles!
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276. Congratulations, son.
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277. You have seen the future.
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278. Yeah. You're so right, Red.
Home computers. That is the future.
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279. No. Not computers. Soldering.
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280. The future is soldering.
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281. Computers.
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282. What do you know, we're parked again.
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283. Right, but this time I just want to talk.
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284. Donna, I'm really sorry...
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285. if I did anything
to make you feel uncomfortable.
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286. Thanks.
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287. I guess part of that's my fault.
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288. But I think I know something
that will make you feel better.
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289. Okay.
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290. You know,
I've been having a rough time lately.
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291. Now that we're boyfriend and girlfriend
and you know I'm on the pill...
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292. it's like you're always pawing at me.
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293. I wanna fool around, but then I
think if you get to second base...
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294. you'll get a pretty good view of home.
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295. If that happens,
what will happen to you and me?
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296. Look at what happened
to Jackie and Kelso...
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297. and sex changes everything
and that really sucks.
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298. Okay.
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299. So, what part of that
was supposed to make me feel better?
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300. I'm not wearing a bra.
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301. You are the best girlfriend ever.
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302. You surprised to see me?
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303. No, I knew you'd stay.
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304. Yeah, we've been friends way too long.
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305. No, Chrissy just drove by
with some guy on the back of her bike.
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306. Poor kid.
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307. She's grieving.
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