That '70s Show 3x12

Allison Munn as Caroline • Paige Scurti Sternin as Maggie

Fez has a crush on a girl but is too shy to approach her, so Donna sets them up together. Donna wins two tickets to see Led Zeppelin in concert but Eric can't go because he has to work so she gives one to Fez and the other to Caroline, the girl that Fez has a crush on, because Kelso, Hyde and Jackie keep fighting over who she's going to take. Eric is named Price Mart employee of the month and it goes to his head. Laurie uses Kitty as a hair model and Kitty doesn't like the job she did but won't tell her because Laurie wants to quit already after only two weeks in beauty school.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. WHERE'S THE TUNES, FORMAN?

2. HANG ON, YOU GUYS. JUST ONE MORE WIRE, HERE.

3. I LEARNED HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH FASTER THAN THIS.

4. FEZ, IT'S NOT REAL ENGLISH WHEN YOU SPEAK IT

5. WITH A FOREIGN ACCENT.

6. JEEZ!

7. AREN'T THESE THE COOLEST?

8. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

9. I KNOW. THEY'RE THE GREATEST SPEAKERS EVER!

10. ERIC!

11. OH, HEY, DAD. SORRY.

12. DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

13. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY

14. MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF.

15. UH, ACTUALLY, I WAS TRYING OUT

16. MY NEW SPEAKERS. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

17. NEW SPEAKERS? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE OLD ONES?

18. THOSE WERE GENUINE GM PARTS.

19. UH...

20. THESE ARE LOUDER.

21. YEAH, WELL, JUST KEEP YOUR MONKEY MUSIC TURNED DOWN.

22. AND GO GRAB YOUR SMOCK. WE GOT TO GO TO WORK.

23. HEY, RED! IS THAT YOU?

24. OH, CRIPES.

25. HIYA, NEIGHBOR!

26. CAN'T HEAR YOU, BOB! I'M TESTING OUT ERIC'S NEW SPEAKERS!

27. NOT BAD.

28. HELLO, WISCONSIN!

29. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER COMPANY L.L.C. AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

30. BOY, QUITE A DAY AT PRICEMART, KITTY.

31. FIRST, THE PRICE OF LIGHT BULBS DROPPED 2 CENTS,

32. THEN ERIC WAS MADE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH AND TO TOP IT OFF,

33. THEY ADDED CHEEZ-ITS TO THE VENDING MACHINE.

34. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

35. YEP. TINY LITTLE SQUARES WITH THE CHEESE FLAVOR BAKED RIGHT IN.

36. AM I REALLY PRICEMART EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH?

37. YOU SURE ARE.

38. YAY!

39. AND THEY EVEN DECIDED TO THROW IN AN EXTRA 25 CENTS AN HOUR.

40. OH, YES.

41. I GOT TO ADMIT, ERIC,

42. I HAD MY DOUBTS, BUT, HELL...

43. YOU'VE HARDLY EMBARRASSED ME.

44. THANKS... DAD...

45. OH, THIS IS GREAT. WHOO! PRICEMART ROCKS.

46. OH, LAURIE, TELL EVERYONE YOUR GOOD NEWS.

47. I JUST FINISHED MY FIRST 2 WEEKS OF COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL!

48. AND SHE DIDN'T FLUNK OUT!

49. ISN'T THAT GREAT?

50. THAT IS GREAT, HONEY.

51. NICE JOB.

52. THANKS, DADDY.

53. YEAH, BUT THE NEXT EXAM'S GOING TO KILL ME.

54. WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO PRACTICE ON DUMMIES ANYMORE,

55. OH, HONEY. YOU'LL DO FINE. WE'RE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.

56. GREAT. SO... YOU DON'T MIND BEING MY MODEL?

57. ME?

58. OH, HONEY. NO, NO.

59. I GO TO THE BEAUTY PARLOR.

60. OK. WELL, WELL, MAYBE ERIC CAN HELP OUT.

61. OH, SURE. LAURIE, FIRST OF ALL,

62. ALWAYS RUN WITH SCISSORS.

63. BOY, I NEVER GET TIRED OF YOUR SARCASM.

64. REALLY?

65. SORRY.

66. RED, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A HAIR MODEL?

67. KITTY... I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HAIR, PERIOD.

68. BUT I DON'T, SO...

69. NO.

70. AW, FORGET IT.

71. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PICKED THIS STUPID CAREER.

72. MAYBE IT'S...

73. BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID?

74. LAURIE, NO. YOU QUIT EVERYTHING.

75. YOU ARE NOT QUITTING COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL.

76. WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

77. I WILL BE YOUR MODEL.

78. BUT...

79. YOU JUST REMEMBER...

80. MEN HAVE THEIR CARS...

81. WOMEN HAVE THEIR HAIR.

82. IT'S LIKE A CAR. IT'S VALUABLE.

83. SO, NOT ONLY ARE THEY GOING TO

84. HANG MY PICTURE IN THE FRONT OF THE STORE,

85. BUT I ALSO GET TO REPRESENT OUR ENTIRE DISTRICT

86. IN THE NATIONAL PRICEMART OLYMPICS.

87. THAT'S NICE.

88. YOU THINK I WILL CHOKE TO DEATH

89. IF I SWALLOW MY STRAW?

90. NO, IT'S GOT A BREATHING HOLE.

91. FEZ, NO! FEZ, NO!

92. OH, MY GOD. THERE SHE IS.

93. WHO'S THAT?

94. THE NEW GIRL. CAROLINE.

95. SHE TRANSFERRED HERE FROM SACRED HEART.

96. OR HEAVEN, I'M NOT SURE WHICH.

97. WE HAVE GYM TOGETHER. SHE BARELY SWEATS.

98. SOMEDAY I WILL MAKE HER MY BRIDE.

99. YUP. NO ONE LIKES A SWEATY BRIDE.

100. YEAH, I HEAR YOU. SO TRUE.

101. HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK TO HER, MAN?

102. OH, I, UH...

103. YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HAVE EVER SEEN.

104. THANK YOU.

105. YOUR COCOA BROWN SKIN MAKES ME HOT.

106. I KNOW.

107. I AM IRRESISTIBLE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

108. HEY. WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK TO HER, MAN?

109. OH, I DON'T KNOW, HYDE. I CAN'T.

110. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

111. USUALLY, I AM...

112. I AM SUAVE, I AM SILKY...

113. BUT THIS GIRL MAKES ME...

114. I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

115. ANYWAY, GETTING BACK TO PRICEMART—

116. SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

117. OK.

118. OH, MY GOD!

119. YOU GUYS ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

120. WAIT, NO! ME FIRST!

121. OK, GO.

122. OK. I, ERIC FORMAN,

123. YOUR BOYFRIEND,

124. AM PRICEMART'S NEWEST EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

125. ERIC, THAT'S GREAT. ARE YOU DONE?

126. WELL... YEAH.

127. TOP THAT, CUPCAKE.

128. OK. I JUST WON

129. 2 TICKETS TO THE LED ZEPPLIN CONCERT!

130. I WAS CALLER NUMBER 7, AND I WON.

131. AND WE'RE GOING TO ZEPPLIN ON TUESDAY NIGHT!

132. HO-HO-HO-HO! ALL RIGHT!

133. SHE SAID 2 TICKETS, NOT 4, YOU MORON. WE'RE NOT GOING.

134. OH, MY GOD, NO. DID YOU SAY TUESDAY NIGHT?

135. I—I CAN'T GO TUESDAY NIGHT. IT'S INVENTORY NIGHT.

136. IT'S MANDATORY.

137. WELL, SKIP IT, ERIC. YOU LOVE ZEPPLIN.

138. CALL IN SICK. TELL THEM YOUR GRANDMA DIED.

139. BURN DOWN THE STORE.

140. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING!

141. DAH! I CAN'T GO.

142. THEN WHO AM I GOING TO TAKE?

143. NO, DONNA—

144. YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!

145. DONNA, SERIOUSLY— I'M PRACTICALLY HIS BROTHER—

146. HEY! I'VE BEEN HIS FRIEND WAY LONGER!

147. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

148. I AM GOING.

149. AW, CRAP.

150. STILL FRIENDS?

151. TILL DEATH.

152. DAH! I CAN'T GO.

153. GET KILLED! I'M IN!

154. SHUT UP!

155. UH... ERIC, ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T COME?

156. YEAH, I CAN'T.

157. YOU KNOW, EVERYONE HAS TO WORK. NO EXCEPTIONS.

158. PLUS, RED AND I... WE'RE BOTH KIND OF SUPERVISING.

159. HMM.

160. CORPORATE AMERICA CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTIM.

161. ERIC, IT'S OK.

162. I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO GO.

163. YOU'RE A REALLY RESPONSIBLE GUY.

164. I LOVE AND HATE THAT ABOUT YOU.

165. WELL, SINCE, UH, SINCE MR. SMOCK HERE IS BEING ALL LOGICAL,

166. GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TAKE ONE OF YOU LOSERS.

167. TAKE A LOSER WHERE?

168. ZEPPLIN!

169. ZEPPLIN?

170. OH, MY GOD! THAT'S A BAND RIGHT?

171. DONNA...

172. IN THE 9th GRADE, I DID AN ORAL REPORT ON STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

173. AND I GOT A B PLUS.

174. YOU GOT TO TAKE ME.

175. DONNA...

176. IN 9th GRADE, I WASN'T A DORK

177. AND I DIDN'T WRITE A REPORT ON STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN.

178. AND YOU GOT TO TAKE ME.

179. SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TAKE EITHER ONE OF YOU!

180. 'CAUSE SHE'S TAKING ME, DONNA! M-E, ME!

181. OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING!

182. DAH! I CAN'T.

183. YOU HATE IT, DON'T YOU?

184. NO. NO, IT'S INTERESTING.

185. I MEAN, JUST... JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS BODY.

186. I'M A... I BET I'M, LIKE, I'M 4 INCHES TALLER.

187. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN INTO THIS.

188. I'M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING.

189. NO, NO, NO.

190. I LIKE IT, LAURIE.

191. REALLY?

192. THANKS, MOM.

193. NOW, ALL YOU NEED IS A CUT.

194. NO, NO! NO, NO!

195. NO, LENGTH. LENGTH IS GOOD. LENGTH IS GOOD.

196. DROP 'EM!

197. OH, HEY. DID YOU SEE THIS?

198. THEY GAVE ME A PRICEMART KEYCHAIN.

199. IT'S GOT A KNIFE AND EVERYTHING.

200. YEAH, I KEEP IT IN MY POCKET.

201. SOME OF THE OTHER GUYS GET JEALOUS SOMETIMES.

202. LOOK, ERIC. I KNOW YOU'RE VERY EXCITED

203. ABOUT YOUR RAISE AND EVERYTHING,

204. BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET TOO CAUGHT UP IN THIS.

205. DON'T WORRY, DAD. I'M NOT ABOUT TO ALIENATE

206. MY FELLOW EMPLOYEES WITH MY AWARD-WINNING WORK ETHIC.

207. I READ THE SIGNS IN THE BREAKROOM.

208. THERE'S NO "I" IN TEAMWORK.

209. HERE'S YOUR CHECK, SIR.

210. THANK YOU FOR EATING AT SMILEY'S.

211. HEH HEH. VERY FUNNY.

212. YOU KNOW WHAT, DAD? I GOT THIS.

213. TAKE YOUR HAND OFF THE CHECK.

214. I'LL COME BACK.

215. JACKIE, WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO, ANYWAY?

216. YOU HATE LED ZEPPLIN.

217. I NEVER SAID I HATED THEM, MICHAEL.

218. FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

219. I THINK LED IS HOT!

220. FEZ... IS THAT HER?

221. YES.

222. I WISH I COULD GO TALK TO HER, BUT I GET SO NERVOUS.

223. FEZ, YOU SHOULDN'T BE NERVOUS.

224. YOU'RE AWESOME.

225. WHAT GIRL WOULDN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU?

226. WELL, THERE IS JACKIE,

227. LAURIE, THIS GIRL FROM GYM, ANOTHER GIRL FROM CHEMISTRY.

228. UH, COUNTRY WESTERN STAR TANYA TUCKER,

229. WHO DOES NOT ANSWER HER LETTERS.

230. OK, STOP.

231. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SUAVE, SILKY FEZ?

232. YOU'RE RIGHT. I FORGOT ABOUT HIM.

233. HE'S HOT.

234. EXACTLY, SO...

235. GO GET HER, FEZ.

236. CAROLINE, IT IS FEZ. MAY I SIT?

237. OK, THANK YOU.

238. GREAT IDEA, DONNA!

239. WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO BUY A CO-WORKER'S LUNCH.

240. I AM NOT YOUR CO-WORKER.

241. YOU'RE A HIGH SCHOOL KID WITH A PART-TIME JOB. YOU'RE TEMPORARY.

242. UH-OH.

243. YOU KNOW WHAT ENDS FIGHTS?

244. PUDDING.

245. JUST GIVE ME 7 MINUTES.

246. ERIC, YOU GOT TO STOP ACING LIKE A BIG SHOT.

247. YOU'RE NOT THE KING OF THE WORLD, YOU KNOW.

248. I'M EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

249. I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS.

250. THIS IS NO GOOD, KITTY.

251. WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, RED? HE'S GROWING UP.

252. NO, I MEAN YOUR HAIR.

253. OH...

254. HEY, THERE, HARPO!

255. WHERE'S YOUR HORN?

256. BOB...

257. ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY HAIR?

258. NO.

259. TAKE ME. TAKE ME. TAKE ME!

260. NO.

261. TAKE ME. TAKE ME. TAKE ME!

262. NO!

263. HI.

264. YOU'RE DONNA, RIGHT?

265. YEAH, YEAH.

266. I'M CAROLINE.

267. I THINK WE HAVE SPANISH TOGETHER.

268. OH, YEAH. HI.

269. HOLA.

270. UM, YOU KNOW THAT FOREIGN GUY

271. YOU'RE ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH?

272. FEZ?

273. YEAH. FEZ.

274. UM, IS HE...

275. DOES HE—

276. OH, MY GOD!

277. YOU LIKE FEZ?

278. OH, MY GOD. COME ON. I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO HIM.

279. OH, NO, NO, NO!

280. THAT'S OK. I JUST WANTED TO...

281. I GOT TO GO.

282. USE THE BANO.

283. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

284. WHAT'S GOING ON?

285. COSMETOLOGY IS TOO HARD.

286. I'M QUITTING!

287. LAURIE, DON'T YOU THINK I WANTED TO QUIT NURSING SCHOOL

288. A HUNDRED TIMES?

289. THE FIRST TIME I PUT IN A CATHETER, IT BROKE OFF.

290. WELL, WHAT IF I DON'T GET ANY BETTER?

291. WELL, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU STICK WITH IT.

292. OH, WHAT DO YOU CARE?

293. I CARE BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER.

294. SO I CARE.

295. WELL... WE DO START DOING NAILS NEXT WEEK.

296. THAT MIGHT BE FUN.

297. AND I HAPPEN TO KNOW A FEW PATIENTS DOWN AT THE HOSPITAL

298. WHO WOULD LOVE A MANICURE.

299. THANKS, MOM.

300. YUP, IT'S JUST GOING TO PERK THEM RIGHT UP

301. WHEN THEY COME OUT OF THEIR COMAS.

302. HEY, DAD.

303. GOOD NEWS.

304. JUST GOT ANOTHER RAISE.

305. WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

306. YOU DUMB BASTARD.

307. YEAH, I TELL YOU, THEY KEEP THROWING MONEY AT ME LIKE THIS,

308. I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET MY OWN APARTMENT SOON.

309. FOR GOD'S SAKES, YOU'RE 57 YEARS OLD.

310. UH...

311. ERIC, WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?

312. IF YOU'D GONE TO COLLEGE,

313. YOU COULD HAVE REALLY BEEN SOMETHING.

314. BEEN SOMETHING? WHOA!

315. YOU'RE TALKING TO THE INTERIM, ASSISTANT

316. WEEKEND MANAGER OF HOUSEWARES, HERE. OK?

317. YEAH. SHOW SOME RESPECT.

318. WELL, AREN'T YOU JUST THE PRESIDENT OF TURD TOWN?

319. DAD...

320. I BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHY YOU WENT SO CRAZY

321. AND YELLED AT ME.

322. AND I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT...

323. YOU'RE CRAZY AND YOU LIKE TO YELL AT ME.

324. THERE'S SOMETHING YOU GOT TO KNOW.

325. YOU'RE... WELL...

326. YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

327. OH. GREAT. PEP TALK.

328. COME ON. SIT DOWN.

329. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I THOUGHT I HAD IT ALL, TOO.

330. GREAT JOB AT THE PLANT, NICE STEADY PAYCHECK,

331. JUST ENOUGH TO, YOU KNOW, STRING ME ALONG FOR 30 YEARS OR SO.

332. AND FOR WHAT?

333. SO THEY COULD TOSS ME OUT ON MY ASS WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH.

334. DAD, I'M NOT GOING TO WIND UP WORKING—

335. LOOK... DON'T GET ME WRONG.

336. I ADMIRE YOUR WORK ETHIC.

337. BUT YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN PRICEMART.

338. YOU'RE A SMART GUY.

339. AND I'M, UH...

340. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

341. WHOA!

342. REALLY?

343. YOU... YOU THINK I'M SMART?

344. YOU'RE PROUD OF ME? OH, JEEZ.

345. WHAT? YOU GOING TO RUIN THIS NOW BY TALKING?

346. LISTEN, DAD.

347. IF I'M STILL WORKING AT PRICEMART WHEN I'M YOUR—OLDER...

348. PLEASE...

349. KILL ME.

350. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK TWICE, SON.

351. OH, THAT'S...

352. THAT'S MY DAD.

353. COME ON. LET'S GO MAKE FUN OF YOUR MOM'S HAIR.

354. TOOL. WENCH. JERK.

355. MORON. MORON. DILLHOLE.

356. I ALREADY SAID MORON.

357. MORON!

358. D-D-D!

359. DON'T TOUCH!

360. THOSE ARE FOR DONNA.

361. KELSO, DONNA DOESN'T WANT A BUNCH OF DIRTY COOKIES.

362. THEY'RE NOT DIRTY.

363. THEY ARE NOW.

364. HYDE...

365. YOU'RE DEAD.

366. DONNA, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? THE CONCERT STARTS IN AN HOUR.

367. COME ON, I'M READY TO GO. LET'S GO!

368. THE CONCERT?

369. OH! RIGHT. THE CONCERT. WELL...

370. YOU GUYS WERE SO BUSY FIGHTING OVER THE TICKETS, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU...

371. I GAVE THEM AWAY.

372. WHAT? NO! TO WHO?

373. SEE? YOUR CUTICLES LOOK BETTER ALREADY.

374. PROPER NAIL CARE IS ONE OF THE EASIEST THINGS TO OVERLOOK.

375. OH, GOSH, DADDY. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A BLEEDER.

376. I'M NOT.

377. UM... COULD YOU APPLY SOME PRESSURE TO THIS

378. WHILE I GET SOME PAPER TOWELS?

379. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER COMPANY L.L.C. AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

380. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE - www.ncicap.org—

381. PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE.