The Looney Tunes Show 2x10

Directed by Seth Kearsley • Spike Brandt • Tony Cervone

When the overwhelming heat zaps everyone's enthusiasm for Christmas, Lola decides to stage her own version of A Christmas Carol to renew the town's holiday spirit, while Foghorn and Daffy set off for the North Pole to set up a giant fan that will blow cold air down to their sweltering town.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. (male narrator) Christmas..

2. the time of year when the chill in the air

3. brings out the warmth in your heart.

4. But what happens to the Christmas spirit

5. when it's a 104-degrees outside?

6. Bugs, Christmas is almost here. Aren't you excited?

7. Uh, not really. It's December and it's a 100 degrees out here.

8. caw caw

9. - What are you saying? - It's too hot for Christmas.

10. Too hot for Christmas? Oh, how can you say such a thing?

11. I feel woozy. Oh! Like I'm gonna faint.

12. That's because you're wearing a parka.

13. Huh? Oh.

14. Oh, yeah. That's much better.

15. What were we talking about again?

16. Not doing Christmas this year.

17. Ohh!

18. thud

19. (man on TV) 'And with no rewief in sight for this heat wave'

20. it certainly doesn't feel wike Christmas.

21. 'A year ago today, this was Main street'

22. 'and this is how it wooks now.'

23. whoosh

24. I thought selling Christmas trees would be the perfect job.

25. You make your money and you only gotta work

26. a couple of weeks a year.

27. But it's so darned hot, no one's buyin' 'em

28. and now they're all dried up.

29. sputter

30. Aah! Fire!

31. Fire! Aah!

32. Wooks wike this Christmas is gonna be anything but merry.

33. What is wrong with everyone?

34. A little heat, we all just give up on Christmas?

35. Hey, well, not me. I'm gonna do something about it.

36. I'm-I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna..

37. I'm gonna..

38. put on a show.

39. A show that captures the true meaning of Christmas.

40. Like "A Christmas Carol?"

41. Oh. I was thinking "Cats."

42. - What's "A Christmas Carol?" - "A Christmas Carol."

43. Charles Dickens.

44. Scrooge?

45. Tiny Tim?

46. Bah, humbug?

47. Here. It's the world's most famous Christmas story.

48. Oh! Thanks, Bun Bun.

49. Mwah. I'm off to save Christmas.

50. I mean, Charles Dickens and I are off to save Christmas.

51. Man, it's hot out here.

52. Ohh!

53. thud

54. - What are you doing? - Making room.

55. For what? I don't want to cook a turkey this year.

56. It's too hot.

57. I'm making room for a duck

58. not a turkey.

59. What are you? Insane?

60. You'll suffocate.

61. Well, it's better than being hot.

62. Plus, I've heard suffocating's

63. the most pleasant way to go.

64. Humph.

65. Wait, or is it that the suffocating's

66. the worst way to go?

67. I should probably do a little research.

68. Hey, look, it's your buddy.

69. (man on TV) 'In a rewated story'

70. eccentric billionaire Foghorn Weghorn

71. held a pwess conference today

72. and made a stunning announcement.

73. I've been, I say, I've been hearin' a lot of whinin'

74. about how it's too hot to celebrate Christmas this year!

75. But I'm here to announce that I'm gonna do somethin'..

76. I say, I'm gonna do something about it!

77. Ladies and gentlemen

78. I give you the fan plan.

79. - What is that? - It's a giant fan, boy.

80. And I'm gonna set it up at the North Pole

81. and blow some of that cold air down here.

82. If I were you, I'd get your sweaters out of the cedar closet

83. 'cause I'm predictin', I say, I'm predictin'

84. a white Christmas!

85. That is one crazy rooster.

86. I'm surprised you didn't get roped into going with him.

87. Oh, I'm going.

88. Well, I'm off to the North Pole.

89. Should I bring a jacket?

90. Nah, it's a 1000-degrees outside.

91. Bugs, your girlfriend fainted.

92. (Lola) 'Thank you all for coming.'

93. Of course, we're all here for the same reason.

94. We care about the community.

95. We love Christmas.

96. And we love the theater.

97. And one of you is here because I needed you to drive me

98. because my nail polish wasn't dry yet.

99. So, thanks, Bugs.

100. Actually, I'm here 'cause I understand

101. this is an equity production.

102. As in, guaranteed money?

103. And I also love the theater.

104. Okay, "A Christmas Carol."

105. Now, just a little heads up before you read the script.

106. I have made a few teeny, tiny changes.

107. - What are you talking about? - I rewrote it.

108. - You rewrote a beloved classic? - Eh, come on.

109. Who could belove a story about a mean old guy

110. named "Scrooge," who hates Christmas?

111. I'm sorry, but that's not gonna get anybody

112. in the holiday spirit.

113. Bugs, you're gonna play Santa.

114. Uh, Santa's not in "A Christmas Carol."

115. Well, he's in this version.

116. Mac and Tosh, you'll play Santa's elves

117. 'Weevil and Beevil.'

118. 'You can decide amongst yourselves who's who.'

119. - I'll be Weevil. - I'll be Weevil.

120. - Oh! Then, I'll be Beevil. - Oh! Then, I'll be Beevil.

121. Do you want me to be Beevil?

122. Only if you don't want to be Weevil.

123. 'I could easily see myself as Beevil.'

124. (Tosh) 'But I also think you would make a fantastic Weevil.'

125. Oh, no one cares!

126. We can't tell you apart, anyway!

127. Here. You're Weevil. You're Beevil!

128. Now, who am I?

129. You are nightclub impresario Rick Evans.

130. 'And, Speedy, you're Manu Ginobili.'

131. The basketball player?

132. Now, Porky, you're gonna play a very important part.

133. You will be playing the role... of Hambone.

134. Ooh!

135. What about my-my-my script?

136. Oh, Hambone doesn't talk.

137. He's a pet pig. He oinks.

138. Well, I guess that's everyone.

139. Oh, no!

140. There's no one left to play Carol.

141. Who's Carol?

142. Carol? A Christmas Carol?

143. The girl from the title of the play.

144. Ugh. Poor Charles Dickens.

145. Well, why don't you play Carol?

146. Me? Oh, no.

147. I'm just the writer. I'm not an actor.

148. Besides, Carol has a British accent

149. that's essential to the role.

150. And I couldn't possibly capture the many layers of Carol's

151. intricate personality.

152. The highs and the lows of her journey.

153. 'Her desperation, her fear, her strength, her courage.'

154. She's a temptress. Ooh, but she's shy, almost coquettish.

155. How could I capture her volatility?

156. Oh-hoo-hoo.

157. And she's so funny.

158. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

159. Mm-hmm. You have to be Weevil.

160. Spoken like a true Beevil.

161. If you think rewriting "A Christmas Carol"

162. is a bad idea, heh, well, I believe

163. I can show you a worse one.

164. (Foghorn) 'We're almost over the North Pole.'

165. - 'It's time to jump!' - What?

166. We can't land a big ol' plane like this on that ice.

167. Are you out of your mind? Whoa!

168. (Foghorn) 'There, I say, there goes the fan.'

169. Come on, boy!

170. Aah!

171. - Aah! - Aah!

172. I say, "Aah!"

173. (Yosemite) 'Oh, I don't know about you'

174. but I read the script.

175. It ain't worth the air conditioner.

176. Okay, everyone. We're starting rehearsal.

177. We have got a town full of people out there

178. who have lost the Christmas spirit

179. and I believe the only chance we have of getting it back

180. is to put on a flawless production

181. of an almost unrecognizable version

182. of "A Christmas Carol."

183. Places, everyone!

184. Ahem-hmm.

185. Oh, Hambone, it looks like it's just you and me this Christmas.

186. Oink.

187. Is that how you're gonna do it?

188. Oink, oink?

189. Yeah, you're gonna need to work on that.

190. Meanwhile, at the North Pole

191. or about 70 miles South of there.

192. - Uh, I quit. - What?

193. My sense of adventure has been surpassed

194. by my sense of tiredness and overall out-of-shapedness!

195. Ugh. Uh.

196. You can't quit now.

197. - You'll freeze to death. - Then, it's my time.

198. According to my research, it's the most pleasant way to go.

199. You're just like the rest of 'em.

200. When the going gets tough, you just give up.

201. Boo hoo! It's too hot to celebrate Christmas.

202. Boo hoo! It's too cold at the North Pole.

203. Boo hoo, I'm too tired to help a rooster

204. pull a 6000-pound crate

205. 70 miles and build a giant fan.

206. Well, then, go ahead and freeze, boy.

207. I'm not givin' up on Christmas.

208. Unh! Ugh.

209. But sometimes, even the coldest heart

210. can be warmed by the Christmas spirit.

211. Unh!

212. I say, unh!

213. Huh?

214. Aha!

215. knock knock

216. - Are you Carol? - Yes. Who are you?

217. - We're Santa's elves. - We're Santa's elves.

218. Santa Claus is missing.

219. You must come with us to the North Pole

220. and take his place.

221. But why me?

222. Because you are his daughter.

223. Santa Claus is my father?

224. That answers so many questions

225. yet, raises so many additional questions.

226. I know what I must do.

227. It is crystal clear to me.

228. I have to.. Line?

229. I have to go with you to the North Pole.

230. I have to go with you to the..

231. - Line? - To the North Pole.

232. Oh, yeah. I have to go with you to the North..

233. - Pole. - I didn't say "line."

234. Eh, I know my line.

235. Heh, sheesh.

236. 'Line?'

237. beep beep

238. Huh! We're there!

239. I say, we're there!

240. We're at the North Pole.

241. Whoo-hoo! We made it!

242. - Ahh! - Whoo-hoo!

243. I always knew we'd make it.

244. Except for that one time I laid down in the snow to die.

245. But all the rest of the time, I knew we'd make it.

246. Well, not that one time when I tried to kill you

247. so that I could climb inside your carcass for warmth

248. 'but then realized how hard it would be'

249. 'to clean out your carcass'

250. so, instead, I just laid down

251. for a second time in the snow to die.

252. But every other time, I always knew we would make it.

253. - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah!

254. - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah!

255. Whoo-hoo! I say, Whoo!

256. Unh! That ought to do it.

257. (male narrator) But even the best laid plans of ducks and roosters

258. often go awry.

259. Mm-hmm. I say, Mm-hmm.

260. - What? - Where are we gonna plug it in?

261. Plug it in? We have to plug it in?

262. We're in the middle of nowhere!

263. You didn't think about this before we left?

264. Why do I keep getting involved with you?

265. It's that limo. I keep getting tricked by that limo.

266. W-W-S-D. W-W-S-D.

267. What are you muttering?

268. W-W-S-D. What Would Santa Do?

269. It's something I ask myself when I need guidance.

270. Huh! That's it!

271. - What? - We'll plug it in.

272. I say, we'll plug it in in Santa's workshop.

273. It's gotta be around here somewhere.

274. So, you want us to just wander around the North Pole

275. hoping to bump into Santa Claus?

276. What's the worst that could happen?

277. Now, it's Christmas Eve.

278. Carol and the gang have gathered to confront Rick Evans.

279. Welcome to the bungalow room.

280. ID, please.

281. Where is Santa Claus?

282. How should I know?

283. I'm an innocent nightclub owner.

284. Well, if Rick Evans didn't kidnap Santa, then..

285. - Line. - Then where is he?

286. Wow, do you have the whole, entire play memorized?

287. Unfortunately.

288. Well, if Rick Evans didn't kidnap Santa

289. then where is he?

290. Ho ho ho.

291. - 'Santa!' - 'Santa!'

292. Where have you been?

293. We were so worried about you.

294. I must have lost track of time.

295. I guess I know what I should give myself for Christmas.

296. A watch.

297. Oh, ha ha ha! Santa.

298. I mean... dad.

299. The end!

300. Oh, you guys, I'm so excited.

301. This is gonna be the best version

302. of "A Christmas Carol" ever.

303. Is it just me, or is this play bad?

304. Like, really, really bad?

305. swoosh

306. We have to take cover, boy!

307. I think I see it!

308. Santa's workshop!

309. No, you've got hypothermia!

310. You're hallucinatin', I say, you're hallucinatin'.

311. I'm coming, Santa!

312. (Santa) Looking for some place to plug that in?

313. Santa?

314. beep beep

315. You look cold. Why don't you take a seat by the fire?

316. slurp

317. You're so snuggly, Santa.

318. beep beep

319. So, you're saying you installed the giant fan at the North Pole

320. and that any minute, it's gonna start blowing in winter weather?

321. I'm not the kind of rooster to say I told you so

322. but I told you so. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

323. - How'd you do it? - We had a little help.

324. You probably know him as Father Christmas

325. Saint Nick, the captain..

326. But I call him Santa Claus.

327. And I've got him on tape.

328. beep beep

329. Santa?

330. You're so snuggly, Santa.

331. I sat on the lap of a polar bear?

332. I told you you was hallucinatin'.

333. Then I guess I didn't plug the fan in, either.

334. I'll make the next one battery-operated.

335. Next one?

336. This is it. We did it.

337. It's Christmas Eve and we have a packed house.

338. 'Cause of the air conditioner.

339. I just want to thank you all for your hard work and dedication

340. which I believe, is the true meaning of Christmas.

341. Group hug.

342. (Porky) 'Hoo hoo hoo!'

343. (Lola) 'Oh, this seems like a good time to tell'

344. 'everyone about the trap door I put in.'

345. Trust me, it will make our entrances

346. and exits much more dramatic.

347. How do we ge-get out?

348. W-We're gonna suffocate.

349. Ooh, I've heard that's the most pleasant way to go.

350. I've heard that, too.

351. But it's not gonna come to that.

352. Bugs will get us out.

353. Bugs! Bugs!

354. Hello?

355. - 'We're down here.' - Lola?

356. Bugs, we fell through my trap door and we're stuck.

357. Trap door?

358. thud thud thud

359. - Unh! How does it open? - Yeah, I don't know.

360. I think I might have focused too much on the trap part

361. and not enough on the door part.

362. thud thud

363. It won't budge.

364. What are we going to do? The play starts in one minute.

365. You'll have to tell everyone the play is cancelled.

366. But you've worked so hard.

367. Well, there's nothing else we can do.

368. And at that moment

369. Bugs Bunny found the Christmas spirit.

370. Too bad he didn't also find a better script.

371. Oh, Hambone, it looks like it's just you and me this Christmas.

372. oink oink oink

373. Ha ha ha! Hambone.

374. You're such a funny pig.

375. - 'Oink.' - 'Ha ha ha!'

376. Hey, look. "A Christmas Carol."

377. That's, I-I say, that's one of my favorite plays.

378. Never heard of it.

379. thump thump thump

380. Where is Santa Claus?

381. Well, how should I know?

382. I'm an innocent nightclub owner.

383. Well, if Rick Evans didn't kidnap Santa

384. then where is he?

385. creaks

386. 'No!'

387. Bugs, you weren't supposed to use the trap door.

388. - Really? - Now what are we gonna do?

389. There's no ending.

390. - Ho ho ho! - Santa?

391. I know what you're all thinkin'.

392. This is the worst Christmas play you've ever seen.

393. And I can't say I disagree.

394. 'But it took a lot of effort to put on a play this bad'

395. 'and if there's one thing that's worth the effort..'

396. '... it's Christmas.'

397. Look, I know it's a lot of work

398. tying the tree to the top of your car

399. and then draggin' it inside.

400. Pine needles goin' everywhere.

401. Packin' up the car and driving six hours to grandma's house.

402. But these are the things that bring us all together.

403. Even this utterly unrecognizable version

404. of "A Christmas Carol."

405. I mean, look around you.

406. The whole town is here.

407. Yes, I know that Christmas isn't easy

408. but nothing worth doing ever is.

409. Now, if you'll excuse me

410. I've got to deliver presents

411. to every boy and girl on Earth.

412. You think that doesn't take a lot of effort?

413. Ho ho ho!

414. Merry Christmas, everyone.

415. Oh!

416. Nice trap door.

417. Let's see here.

418. Lola. Bugs. Gophers.

419. Oh, you can decide who gets what.

420. Yosemite.

421. Better luck next year.

422. Speedy.

423. What the..

424. Hey, fellas.

425. Ha ha ha! I plugged your fan in.

426. 'Ho ho ho!'

427. 'Merry Christmas, everyone.'

428. - You mean wreath? - Nope, I mean wraith.

429. Aah!

430. Manu Ginobili!

431. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!