The Looney Tunes Show 2x11

Directed by Swinton O. Scott III

While babysitting, Lola reads a spell book as a bedtime story to Gossamer and turns him into a frog. Meanwhile, a get-rich-quick scheme gets Daffy and Porky attacked by a giant bear.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. V-valet.

2. We could p-probably find free parking on the street.

3. Porky, you've gotta learn to treat yourself right.

4. Enjoy the finer things in life.

5. Alright.

6. Payule.

7. - It's Paul. - Paul.

8. I am guessing you've never driven a vehicle

9. quite like this one.

10. No, sir, I haven't. Are those the... keys?

11. First of all, I could do without the attitude.

12. Second of all, these are obviously pliers.

13. 'Because the ignition key is obviously broken off'

14. 'in the ignition itself.'

15. Obviously due to a fit I had regarding a personal matter.

16. And don't get any ideas. I locked the glove compartment.

17. Hey, sometimes you've gotta treat people wrong

18. to treat yourself right.

19. I'll have the truffle risotto.

20. Everything's kind of expensive.

21. Porky, we'll split the bill.

22. Hmm.

23. He'll have what I'm having.

24. Porky, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

25. You have to learn to pamper yourself.

26. Valet parking, nice meals, French manicures.

27. These are the things that give you a sense of worth.

28. W-w-what about hard work? F-f-friendship?

29. 'Good one.'

30. What's that?

31. Truffle. It's a delicacy.

32. Mm. Mm. Oh.

33. It's like eating gold.

34. Mm. Truffle, where have you been all my life?

35. Oh, it is d-d-delicious.

36. To treating yourself right.

37. - What's up, neighbor? - Hey, Bugs.

38. I was wonderin' if Gossamer could stay

39. with you this weekend?

40. - Sure. Where you goin'? - The fifth dimension.

41. Oh. Uh, is that where you're from?

42. What? Honey, I'm from Chicago.

43. The fifth dimension is where they're holdin'

44. the witches convention.

45. They teach you all the new spells and broom tricks.

46. Sounds great. We'll take good care of him.

47. We? Oh. I forgot about Daffy.

48. Any chance you could babysit at my house?

49. Ooh. I've never stayed at a haunted house before.

50. It's not haunted! Mm-mm-mmm.

51. You make a lot of assumptions.

52. Mm.

53. Five hundred dollars?

54. - For risotto? - For the truffle.

55. It should have been for free! The menu said MP.

56. Yes, MP. Market price.

57. Which, in this case is 250 dollars a plate.

58. Market price?

59. MP stands for my pleasure!

60. Like, here, take it. It's my pleasure.

61. W-w-what are we gonna do?

62. Pay the bill. Here.

63. T-t-this is 5 dollars. You said we'd s-s-split it.

64. Right. We're splitting it.

65. Me, five dollars, you rest of dollars.

66. Splitting means 50-50!

67. Oh! And MP means market price?

68. What planet are we on?

69. I'll get the valet.

70. Humph!

71. Bye bye, baby.

72. Now you do what Mr. Bunny tells you.

73. I'll be home Sunday night.

74. You take good care of my son.

75. We'll be great. Don't worry.

76. You're gonna..

77. You can't see past the witchiness, can you?

78. I'm takin' my minivan.

79. Unbelievable.

80. What does he think I'm gonna do with all this luggage?

81. vroom

82. swoosh

83. Ugh! Hey, speedy?

84. You got any truffles back there?

85. Truffles? Who are you? Little Lord Fauntleroy?

86. Do you know how much truffles cost?

87. The big ones go for like $350,000.

88. Three hundred and fifty thousand dollars?

89. Where would someone get a truffle?

90. They grow on the ground, near oak trees.

91. But they're nearly impossible to find.

92. Needs pigs to sniff them out.

93. Pigs, huh?

94. W-w-where are we going?

95. It's a surprise. Alright, start sniffing.

96. W-w-where are we?

97. Randall McClintock National Park.

98. - W-w-what are we doing here? - Truffle hunting.

99. You're gonna sniff 'em out.

100. I'm gonna dig 'em up and we're gonna be rich.

101. S-s-sniff 'em out?

102. D-Daffy, I am not that k-kind of a pig.

103. I was b-b-born in the suburbs! I wear a blazer.

104. Will you please just try? It's getting late!

105. Eh!

106. sniff sniff

107. Ugh! Your pig ancestors are rollin' over in their graves.

108. Come on, Porky! Sniff like you mean it!

109. There you go. Find that truffle, piggy.

110. Okay, Gossamer. Time for bed.

111. Who could that be?

112. Hey, bun bun.

113. Lola! I told you I can't do anything this weekend.

114. I-I'm babysitting.

115. I know. I thought I could help.

116. Well, that's very nice

117. but I-I think I've got it covered.

118. Mr. Bunny, I think there's a monster under my bed.

119. Are you kiddin'? The monster's on the stairs!

120. - Huh? Where? - Lemme handle this.

121. I put myself through medical school babysitting.

122. Hey, Gossamer, how about I read you a bedtime story?

123. - Yeah! - Tchh.

124. (Daffy) 'Dig, pig, dig!'

125. Dig, pig, dig!

126. Dig, pig, dig!

127. T-t-that is not helping.

128. W-w-why aren't you digging?

129. My manicure.

130. T-t-that's it. I'm done.

131. L-l-let's go home.

132. W-where's the car?

133. Hmm. Hmm. Huh.

134. Y-you don't know where the car is?

135. Well, you don't know where the car is!

136. T-that's because you b-blindfolded me!

137. Well, I thought if you knew where we were going

138. you wouldn't have come!

139. - I w-wouldn't have! - You just proved my point!

140. Ughh. F-forget it.

141. I'll f-find my own way home.

142. thud

143. - Huh. - What is it?

144. I don't know.

145. It's a... giant truffle!

146. Porky! You did it!

147. We're rich, we're rich.

148. We're rich!

149. Um, D-D-Daffy?

150. We're still lost, you know.

151. Lost and... rich!

152. Aaow!

153. (Lola) 'Bugs!'

154. What? Is everything okay?

155. Everything's fine. Nothin' to worry about.

156. Totally no big deal.

157. But... Gossamer kind of, um..

158. He turned into a frog.

159. What do you mean, Gossamer turned into a frog?

160. What's this?

161. Well, I thought it was a book of bedtime stories

162. but now I'm pretty sure it's a book of spells.

163. Wait! Before you go in there, you should know one more thing.

164. I think I might have also turned Gossamer's alarm clock

165. into a great, big, ferocious grizzly bear.

166. Gossamer!

167. You poor thing.

168. Well, looks like you got this covered.

169. So, you know, I should probably head on home.

170. I mean, uh, to get a terrarium.

171. To put Gossamer in until we can figure out

172. which one of these spells will turn him back

173. is what I was saying.

174. Oh, you thought I was gonna leave you.

175. I bet this baby weighs three pounds.

176. We're probably looking at a half a million dollars.

177. What are you gonna do with your ten percent?

178. D-D-Daffy, we've been through this.

179. If you say split, it means half.

180. Fine! So what are you gonna do with yourhalf?

181. I d-don't know.

182. I've always been someone who s-saves their money

183. for a rainy day.

184. Come on. This is your chance to treat yourself right.

185. I guess I could buy a shirt.

186. I mean, I never felt like I needed a shirt.

187. Considering I already had a jacket and tie.

188. It seems so extravagant.

189. That's why you don't wear a shirt?

190. Because you're cheap?

191. Well, w-why don't you wear clothes?

192. Because I love my body.

193. 'Check out my pecs, Porky. Check 'em.'

194. - Look at 'em... ' - Shh!

195. - What? - Shh, shh.

196. - What? - I think I hear something.

197. What do you think it is?

198. - A b-b-bear? - Porky!

199. There hasn't been a bear in these woods for a 1000 years!

200. Quick, f-fly us outta here!

201. What? I can't fly!

202. - B-but you're a duck! - I'm not that kind of duck.

203. I always knew I'd d-die this way.

204. (Bugs) 'Hi, yes.'

205. I-I called 911 last night

206. but I think the dispatcher thought I was crazy.

207. Oh, okay.

208. Uh, well, I-I was babysitting this monster, see

209. and my girlfriend accidentally turned his alarm clock

210. into a grizzly bear and he escaped and ran away.

211. Hello?

212. I think I found the spell I did last night.

213. You think or you know?

214. I know. I mean, I, I think I know.

215. Well, that's great.

216. But we need the spell that reverses the spell.

217. It's this one. It's definitely this one.

218. I think. No, I mean, I know.

219. I mean, I think, I know.

220. Just read it.

221. What?

222. Uh, nothing.

223. Psst. I think the b-bear's gone.

224. Y-you okay?

225. I'm fine.

226. Is the truffle okay?

227. I mean, are you okay?

228. W-w-we've been walking for hours.

229. D-does any of this look familiar?

230. It all looks familiar. Everything looks the same!

231. I'm s-starving.

232. I'm gonna eat i-into my half of the truffle.

233. Are you crazy? That's like eating money.

234. This is our future.

235. No one's gonna give us a half a million dollars

236. for a truffle with a giant bite out of it!

237. If you're hungry, eat some berries.

238. But what if they're poisonous?

239. Then I'll know not to eat 'em.

240. W-we have to jump!

241. But I can't swim!

242. Y-you can't fly, you c-can't swim!

243. Are you even a d-duck at all?

244. I'm not sure.

245. This comes off very easily.

246. splash

247. - Porky! - I-I'm here!

248. I lost the truffle!

249. T-there it is.

250. I've got it! Ah!

251. I don't got it!

252. I see it.

253. Whoa!

254. splash

255. I g-got it!

256. Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love you, Porky Pig!

257. Lola, none of these spells are working.

258. What?

259. Nothing. Maybe we should call the witch.

260. Oh, no. She entrusted me with Gossamer.

261. We gotta fix this on our own. Let's not panic.

262. 'Gossamer!'

263. We're saved!

264. Argh!

265. Help! Whoa!

266. Porky!

267. Hold on.

268. I can't!

269. Let go of the truffle!

270. - A-are you sure? - I'm not gonna say it twice!

271. I can't believe I said it once.

272. O-okay.

273. You s-saved my life.

274. It was MP.

275. My pleasure.

276. Turns out, treating others right

277. feels better than treating yourself right.

278. I just worry that this feeling

279. won't last as long as a half million dollars.

280. Here.

281. I got a truffle to catch.

282. - This is Speedy. - Speedy, listen to me.

283. Gossamer went inside your mouse hole.

284. You gotta come home and get him out.

285. Wait a second. How could Gossamer get in there?

286. - He's giant! - Lola turned him into a frog.

287. Okay. Something I don't appreciate is practical jokes.

288. The kind of people that like pulling pranks

289. has something seriously wrong with them.

290. I'm at work! Get help, man.

291. No, no, no! He hung up.

292. Now what are we gonna do?

293. Hmm.

294. You don't believe me, do you?

295. Oh, no, we believe you.

296. So, um, Gossamer's in here, you say?

297. What is it? What's wrong?

298. Just, um, give us a moment.

299. - We'll fix everything. - Oh, where do we begin?

300. Well, for starters

301. 'why is all the furniture crammed against the walls?'

302. 'There's no flow, there's no balance.'

303. One never places two large pieces of furniture

304. side by side!

305. And if you're going to have an area rug

306. it needs to be anchored by something.

307. It's just floating in the middle of the room!

308. Let's stop talking and start decorating!

309. - We did it. - Where's Gossamer?

310. - Who is Gossamer? - The frog!

311. Oh. There wasn't a frog in there.

312. But the back door was open.

313. Back door?

314. He could be anywhere!

315. Now, boy. That's our neighbor.

316. bash

317. whirr

318. Oh, boy.

319. How's the convention?

320. Dull as usual.

321. I'm calling to check on Gossamer.

322. He givin' you any trouble?

323. No, not really.

324. I may have accidentally turned Gossamer into a frog

325. and have no idea of how to turn him back.

326. But guess who just saved him from getting eaten

327. by a Tasmanian devil?

328. - Ahh! - Mm-mm-mm.

329. Where's the spell book?

330. Wait a second. The alarm clock was the frog.

331. We should've been chasing the bear!

332. 'What are you so mad about? You're back to normal.'

333. - What? - Oh, uh, nothing.

334. Huh!

335. My truffle!

336. This ends now.

337. Mother!

338. You're not understanding me.

339. It's not just a bear, i-it's a little boy!

340. 'Well, actually, he's a big orange monster.'

341. But he's a boy that looks like a monster

342. that's trapped in a bear's body.

343. - I'll just hang up on myself. - D-Daffy's in trouble!

344. I don't have time to worry about Daffy right now.

345. J-just listen!

346. Daffy blindfolded me and took me into the woods

347. because he thought since I was a pig

348. I would be able to find him a truffle.

349. But then he got lost and a bear chased us

350. and I almost went over a waterfall but Daffy saved me...

351. - Porky. Porky. - But then he jumped over...

352. Oh, man, I wanted to do it.

353. - Did you say a bear? - Yes.

354. There hasn't been a bear in those woods for a 1000 years!

355. That's because that bear is Gossamer!

356. G-G-Gossamer?

357. Y-you killed him?

358. What, this?

359. No, this is synthetic.

360. I bought it at the park gift shop on the way out.

361. Here. I got you a keychain.

362. Daffy, where's the bear?

363. Oh, uh, he's on the front porch.

364. I bet he's an escaped circus bear or something.

365. He's completely harmless.

366. He's the one who led me out of the woods.

367. I'm thinking about keeping him.

368. Making him my personal assistant.

369. Gossamer!

370. - Are you okay? - I'm fine.

371. I mean, I was scared at first

372. but then I found Mr. Pig and Mr. Duck

373. and I knew I was safe.

374. Well, it's getting late. Why don't we get you home.

375. If you want, I can read you a bedtime story.

376. Mm, mmm.

377. I-it is s-so good to be back in c-civilization.

378. Hey, Speedy.

379. How about some more cinnamon breadsticks?

380. How can you afford all this?

381. Oh, oh, oh. We can afford it.

382. What are you talking about?

383. How much do you think this baby's worth?

384. I don't know, it's pretty big.

385. A dime, maybe?

386. A dime? For a truffle this size?

387. That's not a truffle!

388. That's an old, dirty potato!

389. You thought it was a truffle?

390. They only got those in Italy and France, man.

391. There goes my self worth.

392. You still have me.

393. You feel like taking a trip to Italy or France?

394. I-it would be MP.

395. That means you're payin', you know.

396. I know.

397. What the..

398. Am I on some kind of reality show?

399. Hello?

400. Oh, dear.

401. Um, now, maybe just don't look in the mirror for a while..

402. or ever.