The Looney Tunes Show 2x14

Directed by Ethan Spaulding

Daffy and Porky attend a self-help seminar, which inspires Daffy to want to learn how to fly. When that doesn’t work, he settles for becoming an airline flight attendant.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Unh. - What's up, doc?

2. - I need to borrow your TV.

3. Beg your pardon?

4. - I got a date with a cute little filly,

5. And she's coming over for movie night.

6. - What's wrong with your TV?

7. - It's a 1952 black and white set.

8. Ain't got no surround sound.

9. Ain't got no high definition.

10. I'm trying to impress her.

11. - Sam, I'm not gonna help you lie to some girl

12. So you can trick her into dating you.

13. Fine.

14. Ooh, what about your Nobel Prize?

15. That'd seal the deal.

16. No.

17. What kind of weirdo

18. would pretend to have won the Nobel Prize?

19. - Pretty good status update, huh?

20. oh, yeah.

21. I'm gonna get a lot of "likes" on this one.

22. The Looney Tunes, Season 2, Episode 14 "Spread Your Wings and Fly"

23. - I can't believe it. Zero "likes."

24. Ooh, one comment.

25. "Isn't that Bugs' Nobel Prize?"

26. Consider yourself de-amigo'd,

27. Speedy Gonzales.

28. Eh, we're here.

29. Where?

30. - Th-the seminar. You said you'd go with me.

31. Wieb Lunk, renowned motivational speaker.

32. His first book, "Walking Through Fire,"

33. Kept me going when I lost my accounting job.

34. It's what motivated me to take up catering.

35. - You're saying you need someone else to motivate you?

36. Ha! That is so weak.

37. We parked so far away.

38. I don't think I can make it to the entrance.

39. Of course you can.

40. You really think so?

41. I believe in you.

42. All right.

43. But just keep motivating me.

44. - You can do it. You can do it.

45. Ohh. Ahh.

46. Almost there.

47. Ahh.

48. - Are you ready to change your life?

49. - Let's get one thing straight, bub.

50. I'm only here for free coffee.

51. This hokum only works on weak-minded suckers like you.

52. Whoa!

53. That was amazing!

54. I'm a changed man.

55. I can't believe it took so long to see the light.

56. - I'm excited to read his new book,

57. "Spread Those Wings and Fly."

58. I can't wait to fly.

59. I mean, I've always been a little afraid of it,

60. But like Wieb says, "it's now or never."

61. I'm gonna sign up today.

62. Uh, for what?

63. Flying lessons.

64. Uh, Daffy.

65. I think you're taking the title of the book

66. Too literally.

67. - What are you talking about?

68. He must have said the word "fly"

69. About 100 times in there.

70. "Fly" means "fly,"

71. Which is exactly what I'm going to do.

72. You mean like...

73. - Porky, I've told you I'm not that kind of duck.

74. I'm going to get my pilot's license.

75. I've already got a driver's license

76. And a cosmetology license.

77. That's 2 of the big 5 licenses.

78. The big 5 licenses?

79. - Driver's license, cosmetology license,

80. Pilot's license, fishing license,

81. And license to kill.

82. I can't wait to get that one.

83. Now, get out of my way.

84. I never want to see you again.

85. Uh, what?

86. - Well, at least for a while.

87. Wieb said to get rid of any friends or family

88. Who don't support you.

89. Those people are toxic, like mold.

90. You're mold, Porky.

91. You've been here this whole time,

92. Slowly killing me.

93. I do support you.

94. I just think "Spread Those Wings and Fly"

95. Is a metaphor.

96. Really? For what?

97. - Finding the courage to pursue your dreams,

98. Listening to your inner voice,

99. Having the confidence to try something new,

100. Take risks,

101. Live boldly.

102. You are so dumb.

103. Dumb and toxic.

104. Flying lessons?

105. - It's in my genes, my blood.

106. I'm meant to fly.

107. I'm a duck.

108. Birds are angels on earth.

109. You don't understand because you're a rabbit,

110. A rodent, vermin.

111. You're a garbage eater.

112. What is that?

113. - Lunk formula. It's a mixture of synthetic carbs

114. And branch chain amino acids.

115. Wieb says it increases brain function.

116. - Might want to put another scoop in there.

117. - I already cut Porky out of my life.

118. I can do the Same to you.

119. I don't want to.

120. I mean, you're the one

121. With the house and all the cool stuff.

122. But I will.

123. - DVD 4.

124. " how high can you fly?"

125. Very high.

126. - Right now, I want you to tell me

127. If you're satisfied with your life.

128. No.

129. - Are you satisfied with your career?

130. No.

131. - Satisfied in your relationships?

132. No. All no.

133. - Then I want you to stand up

134. And say it with me.

135. - I'm gonna spread my wings and fly.

136. - I'm gonna spread my wings and what? - Fly.

137. - What? - Fly.

138. - I—I can't hear you. - Fly.

139. - What? - Fly.

140. - What? - Fly.

141. - Do you really need to be doing this right now?

142. - Good point. I should get to bed.

143. Listen to my nighttime nuggets.

144. - Your what? - Nighttime nuggets.

145. They're little inspirational bullet points

146. That subliminally sink in while I sleep.

147. If you want to watch the DVDs, go ahead.

148. They'll change your life.

149. - No thanks. - Suit yourself.

150. But you'll never soar, my ground-bound friend.

151. You'll never be a Lunkhead.

152. - I don't want to be a Lunkhead.

153. - Who wouldn't want to be a Lunkhead?

154. Wow. I feel so rested,

155. So invigorated.

156. Looks like a beautiful day to fly.

157. What are you wearing?

158. - Dress for the job you want,

159. Not the job you have.

160. You don't have a job.

161. - That's why I'm usually nude.

162. - Why is the front door open?

163. I don't know.

164. - I think someone broke into the house.

165. - Is anything missing? - I don't think so.

166. my Nobel Prize!

167. Unbelievable.

168. What?

169. - That hillbilly leprechaun stole my Nobel Prize.

170. - You know a hillbilly leprechaun?

171. Yosemite.

172. - Yosemite knows a hillbilly leprechaun?

173. - Give it back. - Give what back?

174. My Nobel Prize.

175. - Uh, I don't got your Nobel Prize.

176. Sure you don't.

177. - Why do you think I took it?

178. 'cause I came there yesterday and said I wanted it?

179. And you said, "no," and I left angrily?

180. Or 'cause of my vast criminal record,

181. Which includes breaking and entering?

182. Yep, either of those.

183. - Well, I didn't steal your stupid prize.

184. Now, get off'n my property

185. Before I call the cops on you for trespassing.

186. Which is also on my criminal record.

187. - Ok. Mm-hmm. Thank you very much.

188. I really appreciate it.

189. They're sending me a replacement Nobel Prize.

190. - I don't know why you want it back so bad.

191. As Wieb says,

192. "clinging to past success guarantees future failure."

193. - Is that a nighttime nugget?

194. - No, it's a daytime doodler.

195. Very different.

196. - How was your first day of flying?

197. - I didn't even get in the plane.

198. I failed the physical.

199. They said I had too many branch chain amino acids in my bloodstream.

200. I have to take it again tomorrow morning.

201. I'm going to bed.

202. - Be sure and lock your bedroom window.

203. You're not getting my TV.

204. - You know, paranoia is the opposite of power.

205. No, it's not.

206. All I'm saying is,

207. You need to activate your trust magnets.

208. Just watch the DVDs.

209. My TV!

210. Oh, that is it.

211. Oh, good. The cops.

212. Someone broke into my house last night

213. And stole my cowboy boots.

214. - What are you talking about?

215. Where's my TV?

216. - Oh, now, you're saying I stole your TV?

217. You know you did.

218. Oh, I get it.

219. You stole my cowboy boots.

220. What?

221. - You stole from me 'cause you think I stole from you.

222. Arrest him, officers.

223. He stole my boots.

224. Tit for tat.

225. Well, I never titted, so you shouldn't have tatted.

226. Arrest him, I tells ya!

227. Dispatch, it's just a neighborhood dispute

228. Between a rabbit and a, uh...

229. Sort of like a hillbilly leprechaun.

230. Over.

231. - I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

232. - I'm a-gonna keep my eye on you.

233. - Good, because I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

234. Not good.

235. 'cause while your eye's on me,

236. My eyes are gonna be on you.

237. Well, great.

238. Because while your eyes are on me,

239. And my eyes are on you,

240. There's no way with both of our eyes on each other's eyes

241. That you can steal any more of my stuff.

242. - Wait. What? - Just stay out of my house.

243. All right, Daffy.

244. You're clear for final approach.

245. Check.

246. - Why'd you just open the cargo doors?

247. - Oh, is that what that does?

248. - Your nose is too far down.

249. Bring it up.

250. The nose of the plane.

251. Oh, right.

252. - You're too far east. Come west 5 degrees.

253. Which way is west?

254. Your left.

255. Your other left.

256. You're coming in too fast. Reduce your air speed.

257. What's my air speed?

258. - It's on your air speed indicator.

259. Can you be more specific?

260. - You're headed for the trees.

261. Pull up. Pull up.

262. - Well, I think that went pretty well.

263. What do you say we do it for real?

264. - You've had 19 crashes in a row.

265. Simulated crashes.

266. - Look, I'm gonna be straight with you.

267. I don't think you're meant to fly.

268. I guess sometimes,

269. When you spread your wings,

270. They get broken.

271. Wait a second.

272. Wieb says, "the only thing separating

273. "'I can't' from 'I can' is a 't.'"

274. And that little thing before the "t"

275. That looks like a comma, but it's up instead of down.

276. I can fly.

277. I don't need a teacher.

278. I don't need a license.

279. I've got it all in here.

280. Nope, not that one.

281. Unh! Oops.

282. What's this guy do?

283. Hey! Hey! Aah!

284. - Not bad for my first flight, huh?

285. - I don't know why you're watching me.

286. You're the thief.

287. - You brought this on yourself.

288. You got trust issues.

289. - Oh, I've got trust issues, all right.

290. Yeah. I trust you about as far as I can throw you.

291. Well, actually, I bet I could throw you pretty far.

292. So, let's just say I don't trust you and leave it at that.

293. The success pentagram.

294. 5 points of the pentagram

295. Are visualization,

296. Strategization,

297. Realization,

298. Execution, and diet.

299. - What are you doing in here?

300. - The TV in the living room was stolen

301. And I need to watch my DVDs.

302. - Well, you don't need to be under the covers.

303. - Wieb says information retention increases

304. The more comfortable you are.

305. And right now, I need to retain as much as possible.

306. - Does anyone here know anything

307. About branch chain amino acids?

308. - I was expelled from flight school.

309. - Daffy, when are you going to give up

310. On all this nonsense?

311. Never.

312. Just like the title of this DVD,

313. "winners never quit and quitters always quit."

314. I am not giving up on my dream.

315. One way or another, I will fly.

316. - Congratulations, flight attendants.

317. You know there are male flight attendants?

318. - I like the height that the heels give me.

319. Please, pay close attention

320. To the following important safety information.

321. To fasten your seatbelt,

322. Place the flat metal end into the buckle

323. And tighten by pulling on the strap.

324. Your seatbelt should be fastened

325. Low and tight across your hips.

326. Unh!

327. - welcome to New Orleans,

328. Where it's a cool 65 degrees.

329. We know you have a choice when flying,

330. And so, on behalf of our flight crew,

331. We'd like to thank you for flying with us today,

332. And hope to see you again on your next journey.

333. Oops. Don't forget your coat.

334. Hope you got a good rest.

335. Ok, ladies. We're in New Orleans.

336. What do we do first?

337. - What are you talking about?

338. What do you mean?

339. Bourbon Street, girl.

340. Let's ditch these heels and have some fun.

341. - Daffy, we have to fly back to California.

342. We have 20 minutes to clean and prep the cabin

343. For takeoff.

344. - But it took 6 hours to get here.

345. It'll take another 6 to get back.

346. That's the whole day.

347. - That's the life of a flight attendant.

348. - where have you been?

349. New Orleans.

350. Are you wearing a skirt?

351. - Yeah, but it's the heels that'll kill you.

352. I'm going to bed.

353. We're supposed to fly to Boston in the morning.

354. Well, Phoenix, then Boston.

355. This girdle doesn't help, either.

356. Yosemite.

357. He took my laptop?

358. Yosemite.

359. - What were you doing in my house?

360. I wasn't in your house,

361. But you were in mine.

362. What? No, I wasn't.

363. I was sound asleep when I heard a noise

364. And saw my record player was stolen.

365. I went outside to see what's what,

366. And I see you sneakin' around.

367. This is ridiculous.

368. Just give me my stuff back.

369. - I told you I ain't got your stuff.

370. Now, stay out of my house, rabbit.

371. Oh, this means war.

372. - You deserve to have everything you've ever wanted.

373. Just get up right now and go take it.

374. It's yours. It's all yours.

375. All you have to do is take it.

376. Take what you want. Take it! It's yours.

377. Grr!

378. Aah! Ohh! Ooh!

379. Boy, you wouldn't believe the dream I had last night.

380. You were trying to kill me.

381. Well, I'm off to Phoenix.

382. - No, you're off to our neighbors

383. To return their stuff you stole.

384. - Huh. That's another dream I had.

385. It wasn't a dream.

386. Those nighttime nuggets

387. Helped you spread your wings and fly, all right.

388. Right into people's houses.

389. - Wow. The Lunk mess is more powerful than I thought.

390. - Ecch. My replacement Nobel Prize.

391. - Huh. Now you've got 2 of 'em.

392. Here you go.

393. - Told you I wasn't the thief.

394. I owe you an apology.

395. What's this?

396. aww, you shouldn't have.

397. - Sorry that it has my name on it.

398. - Nah, I got an electric sander

399. That'll take that right off.

400. What are we doing here again?

401. I don't know.

402. Porky's invitation said it was a surprise.

403. Did I miss it?

404. - I thought you were going to Boston?

405. Nah... I've quit being a flight attendant.

406. I mean, I wanna fly,

407. but it's a lot of work.

408. What?

409. I like the heights.

410. Uh... hello, everyone.

411. Thank you all for coming.

412. I've recently attended a self-help seminar.

413. which taught me, uh..., the importance of, uh..., stepping outside of my comfort zone

414. and, uh..., trying new things.

415. It was about flying! It's so sad.

416. It's like he's incapable of getting it.

417. So, tonight, uh..., I'm gonna do something I've always wanted to do,

418. but I've been, uh..., too scared to try.

419. He is definitely not a Lunkhead.

420. Uh-hoo!

421. Now, THIS is the kind of flying I was ment to do.

422. I wish I've discovered this sooner. What a thrill!

423. Careful! You're going too high!

424. Porky, you got to try it.

425. This is what Wieb was talking about!

426. Not that sad *** you were doing!

427. Porky! Hold the ***!

428. Your airspeed is too low.

429. Hold that ***!

430. And push on the stick! Push on that stick!

431. Hm... Hm... Hm...

432. When pigs fly...