1. Can I get a carrot cake?Copy !req
2. A whole cake?Copy !req
3. I'm having dinner with LolaCopy !req
4. and her parents.Copy !req
5. So, you're getting carrot cake?Copy !req
6. Isn't that a little cliche?Copy !req
7. Rabbits? Carrots?Copy !req
8. Here's your carrot cake.Copy !req
9. You know, on second thoughtCopy !req
10. I-I think I'll get
a lemon meringue pie instead.Copy !req
11. Ooh. That sounds good.Copy !req
12. Can I get a sample of that?Copy !req
13. I'm sorry,
we don't give samples.Copy !req
14. What? How do I know if I want it
if I can't sample it first?Copy !req
15. Come on.
Just give me a little taste.Copy !req
16. Here you go.Copy !req
17. What is the big deal?Copy !req
18. I'm talking about
a teeny little taste.Copy !req
19. No one would know.Copy !req
20. What do you think
I'm gonna shoveCopy !req
21. my whole hand in it?Copy !req
22. You think I'm gonna rub
my face in itCopy !req
23. and ruin it for everyone else?Copy !req
24. Well, I wouldn't do that.Copy !req
25. I would take
a teeny little tasteCopy !req
26. and then decide if I wanted it.Copy !req
27. Mmm.Copy !req
28. And I don't.Copy !req
29. You know what? I'll take
the carrot cake after all.Copy !req
30. - What are you writing?
- Do you mind?Copy !req
31. And why do you smell
like a lemon meringue pie?Copy !req
32. When are you done?Copy !req
33. I need attention.Copy !req
34. I said give me five minutes.Copy !req
35. Uhh.Copy !req
36. How do you work your TV?Copy !req
37. (Tina)
'Shh.'Copy !req
38. Someone's in a mood.Copy !req
39. Am I an apple or a pear-shape?Copy !req
40. Be quiet.Copy !req
41. Pear.Copy !req
42. And... done.Copy !req
43. What were you writing?Copy !req
44. An email to my bossCopy !req
45. telling him everythingCopy !req
46. I can't stand about him.Copy !req
47. Why he's a complete idiotCopy !req
48. and how he's a terrible managerCopy !req
49. and I hope he gets fired.Copy !req
50. You sent that to your boss?Copy !req
51. No, I wrote it to my bossCopy !req
52. but I'm not gonna send it.Copy !req
53. I'm gonna delete it.Copy !req
54. - Much better.
- I don't get it.Copy !req
55. I mean, why would you
go to all the troubleCopy !req
56. to spell words
and put them in sentencesCopy !req
57. and then delete it?Copy !req
58. It's a way to release angerCopy !req
59. and vent your feelingsCopy !req
60. without any repercussions.Copy !req
61. I do it all the time.Copy !req
62. Believe me, I've deletedCopy !req
63. plenty of emails to you.Copy !req
64. Come on. Let's go to dinner.Copy !req
65. What? I'm a pear.Copy !req
66. The skirt draws the eyeCopy !req
67. to my trim waistlineCopy !req
68. and away from
my generous hip area.Copy !req
69. I'll give it back.Copy !req
70. Mm.Copy !req
71. Bugs, this carrot cake
is delicious.Copy !req
72. You know what's delicious?Copy !req
73. Lemon meringue pie.Copy !req
74. 'Have you ever had
a lemon meringue pie?'Copy !req
75. I haven't had
a lemon meringue pie in
years.Copy !req
76. But let's not dwell
on what you don't have.Copy !req
77. Let's be thankful
for what you do.Copy !req
78. To Bugs!Copy !req
79. And his second-rate dessert.Copy !req
80. I am so happy
that Lola found you.Copy !req
81. No matter where I hide,
she always does.Copy !req
82. You know,
when Lola was a little girlCopy !req
83. her only companion
was an imaginary friend.Copy !req
84. She used to talk to her
for hours.Copy !req
85. What was her name?Copy !req
86. Lola, what was the name
of your imaginary friend?Copy !req
87. Well, if you're gonna
be like thatCopy !req
88. I'm not gonna invite you
to dinner anymore.Copy !req
89. Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
90. I was just having a conversation
with, uh, Piper.Copy !req
91. Piper.Copy !req
92. So, Mr. Bunny.Copy !req
93. Walter.Copy !req
94. Walter.Copy !req
95. That's quite a family photo.Copy !req
96. Isn't it fun?Copy !req
97. We take one every year.Copy !req
98. Wow. Matching pajamas.Copy !req
99. I have a great idea.Copy !req
100. Bugs should be
in our family photo this
year.Copy !req
101. - What a splendid idea!
- Wonderful.Copy !req
102. Oh, no. I couldn't.Copy !req
103. It's just for family.Copy !req
104. Don't be silly.Copy !req
105. You are family.Copy !req
106. Yeah.
Besides, Piper's in all of them.Copy !req
107. What do you say?Copy !req
108. Ehh..Copy !req
109. Okay.Copy !req
110. - No way.
- What?Copy !req
111. But you just said,
"Ehh, okay."Copy !req
112. I'll look stupid.Copy !req
113. First of all,
you could never look stupid.Copy !req
114. Second of all, this photoCopy !req
115. isn't about looks,
it's about family.Copy !req
116. And third of all,
did that carrot cakeCopy !req
117. make your stomach
feel a little weird?Copy !req
118. Do we really need to wearCopy !req
119. matching outfits?Copy !req
120. That's what makes it fun.Copy !req
121. Please? I promise, I will never
ever ask you for another favor.Copy !req
122. - Fine.
- Yay!Copy !req
123. Oh, quick favor.
Can you drive Piper home?Copy !req
124. She lives really close.Copy !req
125. Piper, you good back thereCopy !req
126. or you wanna sit up front?Copy !req
127. She's good back there.Copy !req
128. - What you writing?
- A hate-filled email.Copy !req
129. Sounds healthy.Copy !req
130. Mm-mm.Copy !req
131. And... done.Copy !req
132. Finally sent your little email?Copy !req
133. Oh-ho, I didn't send it.Copy !req
134. That's the beauty of thisCopy !req
135. little psychological exercise.Copy !req
136. I get to express all of my rageCopy !req
137. and jealousy,
bitterness and disgustCopy !req
138. without a single
negative repercussion.Copy !req
139. How so?Copy !req
140. Because instead of pressingCopy !req
141. send... I simply press... delete.Copy !req
142. Ha! Oh, no!Copy !req
143. How do I get it back?Copy !req
144. Do something!Copy !req
145. Get it back! Get it back!Copy !req
146. Relax. Who'd you send it to?Copy !req
147. Who'd I send it to?Copy !req
148. I don't think that many people.Copy !req
149. You didn't, uh, send
that to me, did you?Copy !req
150. What? No.Copy !req
151. What bad things
could I say about you?Copy !req
152. I love you.Copy !req
153. So, if I checked my e-mailCopy !req
154. right now,
there'd be nothing from you.Copy !req
155. Nope.Copy !req
156. Ha! Delete.Copy !req
157. I mean, see?Copy !req
158. There was no e-mail.Copy !req
159. Uh..Copy !req
160. My tooth.Copy !req
161. What? It's not likeCopy !req
162. you're about to take
a family photo.Copy !req
163. Oof, you really did a number
on this guy.Copy !req
164. But we'll put a cap on it.Copy !req
165. - You'll be good as new.
- What a relief.Copy !req
166. I have to be in my girlfriend's
family photo later today.Copy !req
167. Today? You're kidding me.Copy !req
168. A tooth the size of yours?Copy !req
169. It's a monster.Copy !req
170. It'll take a week at least.Copy !req
171. Maybe I could smile
with my mouth closed.Copy !req
172. Uh, that doesn't look so bad.Copy !req
173. By the way,
I got your friend's email.Copy !req
174. He's a real yutz
between you and me.Copy !req
175. Did you read it?Copy !req
176. It's very hostile.Copy !req
177. I don't like hostilityCopy !req
178. in a doctor's practice.Copy !req
179. Psst.Copy !req
180. What's with the sunglasses?Copy !req
181. I'm keeping a low profile.Copy !req
182. You got some nerve!Copy !req
183. What? Because of the email?Copy !req
184. Because I said
you're not a scary witch?Copy !req
185. You're not.Copy !req
186. I mean, what's the point
of the big hatCopy !req
187. and the green skin
and that stupid wandCopy !req
188. if you're not gonna do
anything scary with them?Copy !req
189. You wanna see scary?
I'll show you scary.Copy !req
190. 'You better watch who you
talking to and I ain't playing.'Copy !req
191. Aah!Copy !req
192. More iced tea?Copy !req
193. Not too much ice.Copy !req
194. You're mad?Copy !req
195. Why are you mad?Copy !req
196. Because I said calling yourselfCopy !req
197. speedy sounds braggy?Copy !req
198. It does.Copy !req
199. I don't call myself handsome.Copy !req
200. You know what people
should call you?Copy !req
201. Jerk.Copy !req
202. Why is everyone so mad at you?Copy !req
203. I accidentally sent a mass emailCopy !req
204. spelling out in great detailCopy !req
205. how I feel about people.Copy !req
206. Ah, who else did you send it to?Copy !req
207. Everybody. Everyone I've ever
interacted with.Copy !req
208. Everyone who matters to me,
who I have a relationship with.Copy !req
209. Anyone who makes any impressionCopy !req
210. on me at all.Copy !req
211. So... everybody.Copy !req
212. Every single person in my life.Copy !req
213. You didn't send it to me.Copy !req
214. Huh.Copy !req
215. Tina!Copy !req
216. Holdit right there.Copy !req
217. I got your little email.Copy !req
218. I read every word.Copy !req
219. And I got just one thing
to say to you.Copy !req
220. Thank you, brother.Copy !req
221. You are so right.Copy !req
222. It was like you held
a mirror up to my soul.Copy !req
223. It gave me the kick
in the pants I neededCopy !req
224. to finally make a changeCopy !req
225. for the better.Copy !req
226. Well, say good-bye
to the man you once knewCopy !req
227. because my transformation
begins now.Copy !req
228. That was a mask?Copy !req
229. Huh. I wonder if Tina
will have a similar reaction.Copy !req
230. Mother.Copy !req
231. Hey, Bugs.Copy !req
232. (Bugs)
'Oh, hey, Lola.'Copy !req
233. 'I'll be down in a minute.'Copy !req
234. Oh, take your time.Copy !req
235. I'm just gonna lay out
some fun stuffCopy !req
236. for today's photo shoot.Copy !req
237. It's a western theme.Copy !req
238. Piper and I were up all nightCopy !req
239. bedazzling matching
denim jumpsuits.Copy !req
240. Well, they're not actual
denim jumpsuitsCopy !req
241. 'cause I couldn't find
denim jumpsuits.Copy !req
242. So, I took jeansCopy !req
243. and sewed denim jackets to them.Copy !req
244. And, uh, well, they're a little
hard to get in and out of.Copy !req
245. So, you know,
once you have them onCopy !req
246. they're, they're pretty much on.Copy !req
247. Oh, I'm so excited.Copy !req
248. This is gonna be
the best family photo ever.Copy !req
249. Oh!Copy !req
250. What happened to your tooth?Copy !req
251. Oh, yeah. Daffy accidentally
chipped it with my phone.Copy !req
252. They can't fix it
until next week.Copy !req
253. Oh, so is this
what we're wearing?Copy !req
254. Huh? Oh, no.Copy !req
255. Mmm. No, no.Copy !req
256. No, we canceled the photo.Copy !req
257. We canceled it.Copy !req
258. Um, this stuff was all hereCopy !req
259. when I got here,
just lying out when I got here.Copy !req
260. Must be Daffy's.Copy !req
261. You... canceled the photo?Copy !req
262. You know,
I just started thinkingCopy !req
263. family photos are dumb.Copy !req
264. You don't... you don't need
a photo to knowCopy !req
265. who's in your family, right?Copy !req
266. You know already
for your whole life.Copy !req
267. You know... who your family is.Copy !req
268. It's because of my tooth,
isn't it?Copy !req
269. What? No. Your tooth?Copy !req
270. No. We're just..Copy !req
271. We're not taking a photo
this year.Copy !req
272. So..Copy !req
273. You don't want me
to be in the photoCopy !req
274. because of my tooth.Copy !req
275. Wha.. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
276. I barely even noticed
your broken, gnarledCopy !req
277. really jacked-up tooth.Copy !req
278. I'm gonna be in that photo.Copy !req
279. Oh, no, you're not.Copy !req
280. You don't even know
where we're taking itCopy !req
281. and you'll never find us.Copy !req
282. - Who are you calling?
- Walter. Bugs.Copy !req
283. So looking forward
to the family photo.Copy !req
284. Where're we taking it again?Copy !req
285. Oh, no, you're not.Copy !req
286. (Bugs)
'Oh, that's right,
The Dude Ranch.'Copy !req
287. 'See you there, partner.'Copy !req
288. (Walter)
'Yeah, partner.'Copy !req
289. You are not gonna
be in that photo.Copy !req
290. Oh, I'm gonna be in that photo.Copy !req
291. And not only am I gonna be in itCopy !req
292. I'm gonna be smiling so big,
all you'll seeCopy !req
293. is this broken, gnarled
jacked-up tooth!Copy !req
294. Good afternoon, neighbor.Copy !req
295. Sam?Copy !req
296. Could I get a 100 copies?Copy !req
297. Reward for a lost wallet?Copy !req
298. The wallet is the reward.Copy !req
299. Can you ever forgive me?Copy !req
300. I don't know what
I would do if I ever lost you.Copy !req
301. I mean, I'm sure I'd date again.Copy !req
302. Who knows?
Maybe I'd meet somebody better.Copy !req
303. What are you talking about?Copy !req
304. The email.Copy !req
305. What email?Copy !req
306. You didn't get my email
this morning?Copy !req
307. No, I've been here since
6:00.Copy !req
308. My boss doubled my shift.Copy !req
309. I didn't even get a lunch break.Copy !req
310. My phone's dead,
I left my charger at homeCopy !req
311. and I'm still here
another three hours.Copy !req
312. That's great.Copy !req
313. I mean, uh, I'm so sorryCopy !req
314. for you, my one true love.Copy !req
315. Mwah.Copy !req
316. Yes!Copy !req
317. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
318. Oh-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
319. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
320. Bugs! Twice in one day.Copy !req
321. To what do I owe the pleasure?Copy !req
322. I need to borrow
some cowboy clothesCopy !req
323. for a photo I'm taking.Copy !req
324. Photo, with your choppers
all jacked up?Copy !req
325. I'm kinda in a hurry.Copy !req
326. Oh, absolutely.Copy !req
327. There's more
where that came from.Copy !req
328. I don't wear it anymore.Copy !req
329. Uh, thanks.Copy !req
330. Have a great rest of your day.Copy !req
331. E-explain to me again
what we're d-doing here.Copy !req
332. I need you to help me
break into Tina's apartmentCopy !req
333. and delete the email.Copy !req
334. You didn't think I was importantCopy !req
335. enough to send the email to
and now, you want my help?Copy !req
336. You're on your own.Copy !req
337. Porky, if you help me with thisCopy !req
338. I promise, I will send you
a long detailed emailCopy !req
339. describing everything
I don't like about you.Copy !req
340. You promise?Copy !req
341. Porky, I am nothingCopy !req
342. if not a man of principle.Copy !req
343. Now, let's break
into this apartment.Copy !req
344. Aah!Copy !req
345. Where are Bugs and Lola?Copy !req
346. Get in the car. We're taking
the picture somewhere else.Copy !req
347. - Where's Bugs?
- What?Copy !req
348. Oh, he, um,
he did fell down a well.Copy !req
349. - What?
- Come on. Huh.Copy !req
350. Hey.Copy !req
351. Change of plans.Copy !req
352. Hyah! Come on.Copy !req
353. Aah!Copy !req
354. (Daffy)
'It's asking me for a password.'Copy !req
355. Who has a password
on their computer?Copy !req
356. - What could her password be?
- Hmm.Copy !req
357. It's usually something personal.Copy !req
358. What's her mother's maiden name?Copy !req
359. Mmm.Copy !req
360. Does she have a pet?Copy !req
361. Hmm.Copy !req
362. Do you know her favorite color?Copy !req
363. Hmm.Copy !req
364. - What city was she born in?
- Mmm.Copy !req
365. Do you know anything about her?Copy !req
366. Hmm... I think her name's
Tina
but I'm not a 100%.Copy !req
367. So, a lot of times,
I just call her buddy.Copy !req
368. Surprise..Copy !req
369. buddy.Copy !req
370. What are you doing here?Copy !req
371. I, uh... I know what a hard
day
you've hadCopy !req
372. so we came over
to make you dinner.Copy !req
373. You know Porky's
a caterer, right?Copy !req
374. This is weird.Copy !req
375. You're just tired from your day.Copy !req
376. Come with me.Copy !req
377. You take a hot bath.Copy !req
378. We'll make you dinner.Copy !req
379. You have to make her dinner.Copy !req
380. What am I supposed to make?Copy !req
381. I don't know.
You're the caterer.Copy !req
382. I have to figure out
her password.Copy !req
383. Darling, I hate to bother youCopy !req
384. while you're soakingCopy !req
385. but what was your mother's
maiden name?Copy !req
386. Romano. Why?Copy !req
387. Uh, I just wanted to write
her a thank-you noteCopy !req
388. for giving birth to you.Copy !req
389. Well, how come
you want her maiden name?Copy !req
390. Oh, well,
I didn't want your fatherCopy !req
391. to open it by mistakeCopy !req
392. because I wanna send him
a separate thank-you note.Copy !req
393. Keep soaking.Copy !req
394. - There's no food in here.
- Get creative!Copy !req
395. Turn yourself into a hot dog,
if you have to!Copy !req
396. Romano.Copy !req
397. Bingo. I'm in.
Here it is.Copy !req
398. It's still unread.Copy !req
399. "Michael?" Who's Michael?Copy !req
400. "Dear Tina,
I can't wait to see you again.Copy !req
401. I miss you and love you."Copy !req
402. What are you doing?Copy !req
403. - Who's Michael?
- What?Copy !req
404. Do not play dumb with me.Copy !req
405. I read the email from Michael.Copy !req
406. Michael's my brother.Copy !req
407. You met him?Copy !req
408. Oh, right.Copy !req
409. - What's this?
- Don't look at that.Copy !req
410. Is this the email
you were talking about?Copy !req
411. I can't look.Copy !req
412. Man, this is long.Copy !req
413. "Foghorn, Speedy.."Copy !req
414. Whoa. You really laid
into those gophers.Copy !req
415. Oh. Here we go.Copy !req
416. "I know I've said
a lot of terrible thingsCopy !req
417. "about a lot of terrible peopleCopy !req
418. "but I've saved the terriblestCopy !req
419. for my girlfriend Tina."Copy !req
420. "I have known many deranged
people in my lifeCopy !req
421. "but I've never encounteredCopy !req
422. "the kind of profound
mental instabilityCopy !req
423. "that she possesses.Copy !req
424. Tina Russo is a psychopath."Copy !req
425. It's worse than I thought.Copy !req
426. "She may have everyone else
fooledCopy !req
427. "but I know the truth.Copy !req
428. "Why else would the kindest,
most beautifulCopy !req
429. "generous and intelligent woman
in the worldCopy !req
430. go out with someone like me?"Copy !req
431. - I love you.
- What?Copy !req
432. You're not gonna kill me?Copy !req
433. Ehh. Call me crazy.Copy !req
434. Actually,
I called you a psychopath.Copy !req
435. Now, uh,
where's my catered dinner?Copy !req
436. - Bugs! You got out of the well.
- What?Copy !req
437. Oh, but your tooth
is all jacked-up.Copy !req
438. You're not getting
in this photo.Copy !req
439. Oh, I'm getting in that photo.Copy !req
440. boomCopy !req
441. I knew I'd get in that photo.Copy !req
442. And... send.Copy !req
443. Oh, I deleted it.Copy !req
444. Was that your apology email?Copy !req
445. Nah. It was something
I promised I'd send to
Porky.Copy !req
446. I bet he forgot all about it.Copy !req
447. Besides, I don't need
to apologize to anyone.Copy !req
448. Ever heard of the expression
"Time heals all wounds?"Copy !req
449. Oh, hey, grandma.Copy !req
450. You'll be alright.Copy !req
451. Time will heal that.Copy !req
452. I loved this book.Copy !req
453. 'When Alex stood in front
of Rebecca's front door... 'Copy !req
454. (female #1)
'Oh, and he didn't have the
courage to knock?'Copy !req
455. (female #2)
'Oh, heart-breaking.'Copy !req
456. I-I-I was sobbing.Copy !req
457. Yosemite,
what did you think of Alex?Copy !req
458. Excuse me for just a moment.Copy !req
459. - So good, really.
- I really loved it.Copy !req
460. You wanna know
what I think of Alex?Copy !req
461. Well, I..Copy !req
462. think he's pathetic!Copy !req
463. I mean, that's your protagonist?Copy !req
464. There's no arc
to that character!Copy !req
465. What obstacle did he overcome?Copy !req
466. What was his emotional journey?Copy !req
467. In fact, the only thing
that's more patheticCopy !req
468. than Alex is this book club!Copy !req
469. Now, get out!Copy !req
470. 'Get! Get!'Copy !req
471. And don't forget your books!Copy !req
472. Yosemite Sam is back!Copy !req
473. Yee-haw!Copy !req
474. Piper, there you are.Copy !req
475. I been looking all over for you.Copy !req
476. You're crazy.Copy !req