1. - Bugs bunny.Copy !req
2. I have an appointment
with dr. Weisberg.Copy !req
3. - Go ahead and take a seat.Copy !req
4. - Daffy?Copy !req
5. - Oh, hey, bugs.Copy !req
6. - What are you doing here?Copy !req
7. - Reading.Copy !req
8. My subscription ran out.Copy !req
9. - So you come to
a doctor's office?Copy !req
10. - No, I come to a doctor's
office waiting room.Copy !req
11. It's very pleasant.Copy !req
12. Fish tank, classical music.
Very nice.Copy !req
13. - Someone order
chinese food?Copy !req
14. - Right here.Copy !req
15. Captioning made possible by
warner bros. AnimationCopy !req
16. - You got any sodas in here?
- Shh.Copy !req
17. - Wow. This thing's like
a runaway freight train.Copy !req
18. What are you
so hopped up for?Copy !req
19. - I'm always telling him
he's too stressed.Copy !req
20. - I'm not stressed.Copy !req
21. - Here's what
we're gonna do.Copy !req
22. I want you to spend
the weekend relaxing.Copy !req
23. Lots of deep breathing.
No excitement.Copy !req
24. No stress.Copy !req
25. We'll check your heart
again on Monday.Copy !req
26. - It's weird. I feel fine.Copy !req
27. - Oh, hey, doc, I have
a quick question for you.Copy !req
28. Is there anything you can do
to stretch my stomach
10 times its size?Copy !req
29. - What are you, crazy?Copy !req
30. I'm gonna be in a hot dog
eating contestCopy !req
31. At the fair this weekend.Copy !req
32. - Oh, I forgot the fair
was this weekend.Copy !req
33. - Bup bup bup.
No fair for you.Copy !req
34. That's too much
excitement.Copy !req
35. But for me, I can't wait.Copy !req
36. I go every year.Copy !req
37. I like to win all that stuff
nobody needs.Copy !req
38. A kazoo, novelty glasses.Copy !req
39. Silly straw.Copy !req
40. Snap pops.Copy !req
41. - aah!Copy !req
42. - Oh, sorry.Copy !req
43. - So, what about my stomach?Copy !req
44. - You shouldn't enter
that contest.Copy !req
45. Binge eating
is extremely unhealthy.Copy !req
46. - Well, if I can't stretch
my stomach with surgery,Copy !req
47. I'm gonna have to do it
the old-fashioned way—Copy !req
48. By gorging myself.Copy !req
49. - You're not gonna listen
to your doctor?Copy !req
50. - He's not my doctor,
he's yours.Copy !req
51. Sure, I've gone to him
for the occasional
cosmetic procedure,Copy !req
52. But even then, I had him
send you the bill.Copy !req
53. - Why do you want to win
a hot dog eating contest?Copy !req
54. - That is the dumbest question
I have ever heard in my life.Copy !req
55. How about a lifetime
supply of hot dogs,Copy !req
56. A custom-made satin jacket,Copy !req
57. And for one year,
the great honorCopy !req
58. Of being called
mr. Wiener.Copy !req
59. Does that answer
your question?Copy !req
60. - No.Copy !req
61. - Here, let me drive you home.Copy !req
62. That way you can relax.Copy !req
63. - What about your car?Copy !req
64. - Oh, it got towed.Copy !req
65. I parked in
dr. Weisberg's spot.Copy !req
66. - The funny thing is,
I really don't feel
stressed at all.Copy !req
67. - What is the matter
with you?Copy !req
68. That light was yellow!Copy !req
69. You go on yellow!
- Daffy.Copy !req
70. - My friend could have
a heart attack at any second!Copy !req
71. I'm trying to keep
things calm for him!Copy !req
72. - Back off!
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
73. - You want to fight?Copy !req
74. Oh, he wants to fight.Copy !req
75. Stay calm, bugs,
I got this.Copy !req
76. Just do some of that
deep breathing.Copy !req
77. where's bugs?Copy !req
78. - He said he needed
to lie down.Copy !req
79. He's such a frail reed,
that guy.Copy !req
80. - Hello.
What can I get you?Copy !req
81. - I'll have 62 hot dogs.Copy !req
82. - Say what?Copy !req
83. - That's one more than
last year's winner ate.Copy !req
84. Well, not this year.Copy !req
85. Soon you'll be calling me
mr. Wiener.Copy !req
86. - I already call you that.
And a lot worse.Copy !req
87. How about you, porky?
- Oh, I'm not eating.Copy !req
88. - Wow! That's one thing I
thought I'd never hear you say.Copy !req
89. - I'm too nervous.
My girlfriend's coming to town.Copy !req
90. - Ok, now that's two thingsCopy !req
91. I thought I'd
never hear you say.Copy !req
92. - Well, she's sort of
my girlfriend.Copy !req
93. We've only met once.Copy !req
94. But we talk on the phone
every day.Copy !req
95. And tomorrow she's
coming into townCopy !req
96. To go to the fair with me.Copy !req
97. she's wonderful.Copy !req
98. I get butterflies
in my stomach just
thinking about her.Copy !req
99. - Uh, I know what I would
like in my stomach—Copy !req
100. 62 hot dogs.
So arriba, arriba.Copy !req
101. - That's too much food, man.Copy !req
102. - I gotta stretch
my stomach.Copy !req
103. - Do you know how bad
that is for you?Copy !req
104. 62 hot dogs.Copy !req
105. Eating that much
in one sitting could kill you.Copy !req
106. Coming right up.Copy !req
107. - Oh, petunia will be here
in 22 hours, 38 minutes,Copy !req
108. And 14 seconds.Copy !req
109. - You're gonna blow it.Copy !req
110. - Wh-what do you mean?Copy !req
111. - You're too eager.Copy !req
112. You're gonna
scare her off.Copy !req
113. You gotta relax, chill.Copy !req
114. Otherwise she's gonna
think you're desperate.Copy !req
115. Girls like a guy
who plays it cool.Copy !req
116. Watch this.Copy !req
117. Hey, tina, you're gonna
have to call me back.Copy !req
118. I'm in the middle
of something, ok?Copy !req
119. So maybe I'll see you
later, maybe I won't.Copy !req
120. So whatever.
Doesn't matter either way.Copy !req
121. - You better see me later.
We have a date tonightCopy !req
122. And you're picking me up
at 8:30. Got it?Copy !req
123. - Well, whatever you say,
my angel.Copy !req
124. I'll be counting
the seconds.Copy !req
125. I'm telling you, porky,
play it cool.Copy !req
126. Whoa! That's a lot
of hot dogs.Copy !req
127. How can someone
eat that many?Copy !req
128. - What's the most
you've ever eaten?Copy !req
129. - I don't know.
4, 41/2.Copy !req
130. Any more than that,
they start coming back up,Copy !req
131. If you know what I mean.Copy !req
132. - Unfortunately, we always
know what you mean.Copy !req
133. - Well, here goes nothing.Copy !req
134. Ooh...Copy !req
135. How many was that?Copy !req
136. - 4.Copy !req
137. - 4. Well,Copy !req
138. Maybe I could do another half.Copy !req
139. uhh.Copy !req
140. It's comin' back up!Copy !req
141. It's comin' back up!Copy !req
142. - It's still beating
like crazy.Copy !req
143. What is the matter with me?Copy !req
144. aah!Copy !req
145. What on earth
are you doing?Copy !req
146. - I'm building a ramp.Copy !req
147. - For what?Copy !req
148. - I'm performing
a death-defying stuntCopy !req
149. At this weekend's fair.Copy !req
150. - Are you, uh, qualified
for that sort of thing?Copy !req
151. - Nope. But it don't matter.Copy !req
152. It's my legacy.Copy !req
153. It all started with
my great-granddaddy,Copy !req
154. Rocky mountain sam.Copy !req
155. He once jumped
a horse-drawed carriageCopy !req
156. Over 15 cows.Copy !req
157. Then there was old grand-dad,Copy !req
158. Death valley sam.Copy !req
159. He jumped a model t
over 15 model ls.Copy !req
160. - O... K.Copy !req
161. - Then there was my daddy,Copy !req
162. Grand canyon sam.Copy !req
163. Some say he was the greatest
daredevil of 'em all.Copy !req
164. He jumped a motorcycle
over 15 school buses.Copy !req
165. - You gonna jump a motorcycle
over a bunch of school buses?Copy !req
166. - No. I'm a-gonna jump
a school busCopy !req
167. Over a bunch of motorcycles.Copy !req
168. - Eh... Good luck with that.Copy !req
169. - Will you help me? Please?Copy !req
170. I don't know how
to build a ramp.Copy !req
171. I ain't never done a stunt.Copy !req
172. I'm not a daredevil.Copy !req
173. - Then don't do it.Copy !req
174. - I gots to.Copy !req
175. Because I can't
go down in historyCopy !req
176. As the only sam
who never jumped one thingCopy !req
177. Over a bunch
of other things.Copy !req
178. - I'd love to help you,Copy !req
179. But I'm under doctor's orders
to take it easy this weekend.Copy !req
180. - I'm not asking you
to do the stunt,Copy !req
181. I'm just asking you
to figure out
how to do the stunt.Copy !req
182. - so you want
to jump a school busCopy !req
183. Over how many motorcycles?Copy !req
184. - Right. I think we're
gonna need a calculator.Copy !req
185. - A calculator?Copy !req
186. I said a school bus!Copy !req
187. Whoa! Oof!Copy !req
188. Ohh!Copy !req
189. yes!Copy !req
190. 5 hot dogs.Copy !req
191. And they're staying down.Copy !req
192. - They'd better.Copy !req
193. - Well, all I have to do nowCopy !req
194. Is figure out how I'm going
to cram 57 more down my gullet.Copy !req
195. I gotta stretch this dude out.Copy !req
196. - I can't believe
you're doing all this
for a stupid satin jacketCopy !req
197. And so people will call you
mr. Wiener.Copy !req
198. - Well, truth be told,
there's another reason.Copy !req
199. It's my legacy.Copy !req
200. It all started with
my great-grandfather
dipsy duck.Copy !req
201. He ate 54 huckleberry pies
in a pie-eating contestCopy !req
202. And won a horse-drawn carriage.Copy !req
203. Then there was
my grandfather doofus duck.Copy !req
204. He ate 112 corncobs
in a corncob-eating contestCopy !req
205. And won a model t.Copy !req
206. And then there was
my father, dummy duck.Copy !req
207. He ate 14 buckets
of fried chickenCopy !req
208. In a fried
chicken-eating contestCopy !req
209. And won a school bus.Copy !req
210. He still drives it
to this day.Copy !req
211. Now do you understand
why I have to win?Copy !req
212. - Do any of the guys
in your family
have normal names,Copy !req
213. Like david or doug?Copy !req
214. - I have a cousin
named dimwit duck.Copy !req
215. Look, tina, the point is,
I have to winCopy !req
216. So I don't go down
in historyCopy !req
217. As the only duck
who didn't win a contestCopy !req
218. By gorging himself
on carnival food.Copy !req
219. And also I really want
that satin jacket.Copy !req
220. Bllucch!Copy !req
221. - What are we doin'
playin' with models?Copy !req
222. We oughta be building
the real thing.Copy !req
223. - I told you, I don't
want anything to do
with the real thing.Copy !req
224. My heart is racing
just thinking about it.Copy !req
225. I need to relax.Copy !req
226. - Why do you need to relax?Copy !req
227. Your life ain't stressful.Copy !req
228. Near as I can tell,
you sit aroundCopy !req
229. In a big house all day
doing nothin'.Copy !req
230. - Ok. Your school bus weighs
approximately 14,000 pounds.Copy !req
231. And this ramp is at
an angle of 22 degrees.Copy !req
232. So, you need to be going
no less than 89 miles per hour,Copy !req
233. But no more than
91 miles per hour
when you hit the rampCopy !req
234. So that you can travel
the 72 feet over
the 15 motorcycles.Copy !req
235. Now, you have to land
exactly on the front edgeCopy !req
236. Of the landing ramp,Copy !req
237. Otherwise you lose
control and crash.Copy !req
238. So, 89 miles per hour,Copy !req
239. 22-degree takeoff,
72 feet,Copy !req
240. Land on the front edge
of the ramp. Got it?Copy !req
241. - Yosemite!Copy !req
242. - Huh? What?Copy !req
243. Uh, sorry.Copy !req
244. That classical music's
just so dang relaxing.Copy !req
245. hey. I just wanted
to remind youCopy !req
246. To play it cool
with petunia.Copy !req
247. - What?Copy !req
248. - Oh, sorry.
I was eating.Copy !req
249. I'm up to 7 hot dogs.Copy !req
250. I just want to remind you
to play it cool with petunia.Copy !req
251. - Oh. Right.Copy !req
252. - Porky, I am serious.Copy !req
253. Serious like a heart attack.Copy !req
254. Sorry, bugs.Copy !req
255. You cannot blow this.Copy !req
256. Remember, you come from
a long line of pigsCopy !req
257. Who have blown it.
Need I remind youCopy !req
258. Of your great-grandfather
pudgy pig,Copy !req
259. Your grandfather,
plumpy pig,Copy !req
260. And your father,
plus-size pig.Copy !req
261. - You know,
my dad's name is alan.Copy !req
262. - The point is,
they all blew it.Copy !req
263. You gotta break
the chain, porky.Copy !req
264. Play it cool.Copy !req
265. Unless you want to lose
petunia forever.Copy !req
266. - Uh—she's here!Copy !req
267. - Good. I gotta go anyway.Copy !req
268. That's tina
on the other line.Copy !req
269. Oh, darling I hope
I didn't keep you waiting.Copy !req
270. You're gonna blow it.
Play it cool.Copy !req
271. - Oh! Porky,
it's so good to see you.Copy !req
272. I'm so excited for our weekend!Copy !req
273. - Ok, cool.Copy !req
274. - oh,
this is so much fun.Copy !req
275. I haven't been to the fair
since I was a little girl.Copy !req
276. Oh, look! Cotton candy!Copy !req
277. Do you like cotton candy?Copy !req
278. - Are you kidding?
I could eat c-cotton
candy all day—Copy !req
279. uh, uh,
I mean...Copy !req
280. Oh, I can either
take it or leave it.Copy !req
281. - Hey! They have
a roller coaster!Copy !req
282. - Should we go on?Copy !req
283. - Are you crazy?Copy !req
284. I mean, I don't know.
Whatever.Copy !req
285. - Is everything all right?Copy !req
286. You seem strange.Copy !req
287. - I'm cool.Copy !req
288. - Say, uh, speedy,
give me all your churros.Copy !req
289. - Are you crazy?Copy !req
290. - I gotta stretch my stomach.Copy !req
291. But the idea of eating
another hot dog makes me sick.Copy !req
292. And in two hours
I gotta eat 62 of them.Copy !req
293. - There's no way
you're gonna win, man.Copy !req
294. Have you seen
last year's winner?Copy !req
295. - Whew. He looks like
he could eat 62 of you.Copy !req
296. Hey, look!
There's a fortuneteller!Copy !req
297. - Continue to breathe
deep, relaxing breaths.Copy !req
298. - What angle's the ramp
supposed to be at?Copy !req
299. - What?Copy !req
300. - What angle should
the ramp be at?Copy !req
301. And how fast
am I supposed to go?Copy !req
302. And what part of the ramp
am I supposed to land on?Copy !req
303. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
304. Sam, slow down.
What—what's wrong?Copy !req
305. - I'm panicking!
I'm spiraling!Copy !req
306. I got so used to
that teeny model,Copy !req
307. Now it all looks
so big and scary!Copy !req
308. you gotta
come help me.Copy !req
309. I need you here.
My heart's a-racin'!Copy !req
310. - That's exactly why
I can't come.Copy !req
311. You shouldn't be there either.Copy !req
312. - Bugs, please, I'm beggin' you!Copy !req
313. I need the emotional support!Copy !req
314. You're my best friend!Copy !req
315. - What?
- Nothin'.Copy !req
316. I didn't say nothin'.
Just come done here.Copy !req
317. - Fine.Copy !req
318. Dr. Weisberg's gonna kill me,Copy !req
319. If my heart doesn't first.Copy !req
320. Hi. Please leave a message.Copy !req
321. - Bugs, it's dr. Weisberg.Copy !req
322. Look, look, look,
I'm on the internetCopy !req
323. And I think I might
have misdiagnosed
your condition.Copy !req
324. Turns out your heart
is beating fast because...Copy !req
325. You're a rabbit!Copy !req
326. That's where they get
the expression,Copy !req
327. "my heart's beating
like a rabbit," huh?Copy !req
328. Anyway, there's nothing
wrong with your heart.Copy !req
329. You're fine.
You're in perfect health.Copy !req
330. So go have some fun.
Enjoy your life.Copy !req
331. Live a little!Copy !req
332. Ok, enough work
for a Saturday.Copy !req
333. I'm going to the fair.Copy !req
334. - in my crystal ball
I can see the past,Copy !req
335. The present,
and the future.Copy !req
336. - Lola, you're not
a fortuneteller.Copy !req
337. - Uh, my name is
madame zoldor. So...Copy !req
338. - What do you see,
madame zoldor?Copy !req
339. Will I win the hot dog
eating contest?Copy !req
340. - Let me see.Copy !req
341. It's murky.Copy !req
342. Aha! I see hot dogs!Copy !req
343. So many hot dogs.Copy !req
344. - Really? At a hot dog
eating contest?Copy !req
345. - I see you!Copy !req
346. - You're eating hot dogs.Copy !req
347. So many hot dogs.Copy !req
348. - More than 5?
Do I win?Copy !req
349. - Yes, you win!
You are the winner!Copy !req
350. - I knew it!
Thank you, madame zoldor!Copy !req
351. - Does the lady want
her palm read?Copy !req
352. or maybe a manicure?Copy !req
353. I'm actually a little
better at those.Copy !req
354. - Ohh. I think ferris wheels
are kind of romantic.Copy !req
355. Don't you?Copy !req
356. they're all right.Copy !req
357. - Porky, you just seem
so different from when we met.Copy !req
358. - Well, I don't know
what to tell you, petunia.Copy !req
359. This is me.
This is who I am.Copy !req
360. I'm relaxed
and I'm cool
and I'm chill.Copy !req
361. Aah! Wh-what's happening?Copy !req
362. - We must be stuck.Copy !req
363. - W-w-we what?Copy !req
364. We're hundreds of feet
off the ground!Copy !req
365. Help! Somebody help us!Copy !req
366. Aah! Aah! I always knew
I'd d-d-die this way!Copy !req
367. - I think madame zoldor
might be crazy.Copy !req
368. There's no way my stomach's
big enough to eat all these.Copy !req
369. - Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the 35th annualCopy !req
370. Mr. Wiener hot dog
eating contest.Copy !req
371. - Uh... That
satin jacket is mine.Copy !req
372. - On your mark...Copy !req
373. Get set...Copy !req
374. Go!Copy !req
375. - Hey, why isn't it fixed?
What's taking so long?Copy !req
376. When are they
gonna fix it?Copy !req
377. - Porky, calm down.Copy !req
378. It's gonna be ok.Copy !req
379. - Mm. Uh, petunia, um,Copy !req
380. There's something
I have to tell you.Copy !req
381. Ever since I picked you up
at the airport,Copy !req
382. I've been trying
to play it cool.Copy !req
383. - Why?Copy !req
384. - Because I was afraid
if you sawCopy !req
385. How excited
I was to see you,Copy !req
386. You'd think I was d-desperate.Copy !req
387. But the truth is,
I am excited to see you.Copy !req
388. Also, you should know
that I love cotton candy,Copy !req
389. And—and I think you're
the greatest girl
I've ever met.Copy !req
390. I g-guess I blew it, huh?Copy !req
391. - Good luck.
If you need me,Copy !req
392. I'll be over there,
not watching.Copy !req
393. - Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
394. Direct your attention
to the infieldCopy !req
395. Where local daredevil
yosemite samCopy !req
396. Will attempt to jump
a school busCopy !req
397. Over 15 motorcycles.Copy !req
398. I can't reach the pedals!Copy !req
399. You gotta do the stunt with me.Copy !req
400. You gotta be my feet.Copy !req
401. Are you crazy?Copy !req
402. - No. I'm a sam.Copy !req
403. And if I don't do this,Copy !req
404. I'll be the first samCopy !req
405. Who ain't never
accomplished nothin'.Copy !req
406. - Move over.Copy !req
407. - Oh, thank you!Copy !req
408. I knew you was
my best friend!Copy !req
409. I mean neighbor.Copy !req
410. - We have a winner!Copy !req
411. Daffy duck!Copy !req
412. - Yeah! Ha ha! Whoo!Copy !req
413. - I told him not to enter
that hot dog eating contest.Copy !req
414. I told him.Copy !req
415. - Well, this is it.Copy !req
416. - It'll help me relax.Copy !req
417. Don't fall asleep
at the wheel.Copy !req
418. - You're listening
to classical 103.1.Copy !req
419. I'm alive!
I can't believe it!Copy !req
420. - Uhh! I can't believe
they don't have seatbelts
on school buses.Copy !req
421. ohh!Copy !req
422. - Oh, it's so romantic
up here.Copy !req
423. I hope they don't ever
fix this ferris wheel.Copy !req
424. d-d-daffy?Copy !req
425. - That's mr. Wiener!Copy !req
426. - So go have some fun.
Enjoy your life.Copy !req
427. Live a little!Copy !req
428. - I think a death-defying
stunt qualifies.Copy !req
429. - Unbelievable!Copy !req
430. They're stripping me
of my titleCopy !req
431. Because they said I cheated.Copy !req
432. I'm not allowed to call
myself mr. Wiener!Copy !req
433. - I'll call you mr. Wiener.Copy !req
434. - Thanks.Copy !req
435. That's why you're
my best friend.Copy !req
436. - Don't tell yosemite that.Copy !req
437. Captioning made possible by
warner bros. AnimationCopy !req
438. Captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—Copy !req
439. - Look what I won at the fair.Copy !req
440. Now I can drink out of my hat.Copy !req