1. Give me a wrench.
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2. - Porky!
- Huh?
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3. Oh, sorry, I was studying.
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4. Studying?
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5. Yeah,
I went back to school.
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6. Oh, boy.
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7. I figured the catering business
can be such a roller coaster.
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8. It's good to keep your options open.
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9. Besides, I've always loved school.
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10. You know, for two people
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11. that spend a lot of time together,
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12. we really have nothing in common.
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13. Ah, that should do it.
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14. What were you fixing?
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15. Nothing. But women love
a guy who works on his car.
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16. Are those Bugs' gloves?
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17. Got to protect my delicate hands.
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18. Women love a man with a soft touch.
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19. What you winkin' at?
Don't you wave at me!
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20. Well, most women.
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21. Daffy!
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22. - What's up?
- Where are my gloves?
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23. Oh, I washed them.
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24. Why would you wash them?
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25. Because they were covered
in grease and oil.
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26. You're welcome!
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27. My gloves are dry clean only!
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28. - I said I was sorry.
- No, you didn't.
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29. Look, let's not split hairs.
Why do you even wear gloves?
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30. Because, I've always
worn them. It's who I am.
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31. Why do you wear that thing
around your neck?
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32. Grand mummy, one day when I'm grown,
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33. will you give me your pearls?
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34. I wear this for medical reasons.
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35. They've shrunk!
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36. You shrunk my gloves!
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37. But what would I expect
from someone named "Daffy"?
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38. What's that supposed to mean?
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39. I got to have some gloves
in here somewhere.
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40. What's wrong with my name?
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41. Look it up.
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42. "Daffy—adjective.
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43. Foolish, insane,
brainless, crazy."
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44. This explains so much!
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45. No wonder I've always been
treated with such disdain;
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46. why no one's given me
the respect I deserve!
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47. It certainly can't be
because of my manner
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48. or anything I've done.
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49. It's because of my name.
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50. I have to change my name!
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51. Good-bye, Daffy!
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52. Hello...
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53. Ah, well, I'll think of something.
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54. Do these gloves look weird?
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55. Daffy?
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56. How do you say "taco" in Spanish?
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57. Taco.
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58. Ta... co.
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59. How do you say, uh, burrito?
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60. - Burrito.
- What?
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61. So Spanish and English
are the same? That's crazy.
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62. Ehh.
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63. I, uh, I think you push it.
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64. Hey, Bugs, where you been?
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65. I've been waiting a half an hour.
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66. I got... lst.
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67. What do you mean you got lost?
You come here all the time.
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68. I know, uh, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
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69. Oh, you poor thing.
Let me get you a glass of water.
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70. Or, as they say in Spanish,
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71. a glass of water.
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72. Hola, senor Bugs.
Can I get you the usual?
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73. Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.
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74. The usual.
What's my usual?
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75. A personal carrot pizza.
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76. Carrot pizza?
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77. Who puts carrots on pizza?
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78. Are you ok?
You seem strange.
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79. I just don't feel like myself.
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80. I—I don't know what it is.
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81. Here you go, bun bun.
Where are your gloves?
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82. My gloves!
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83. I'm not myself
because I don't have my gloves!
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84. Oh. Well, I have
an extra pair in my purse
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85. if you want to borrow mine.
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86. What are these?
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87. Pearls.
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88. - Pretty, huh?
- I can't wear these!
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89. I've got to get my gloves back.
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90. Ooh, maybe Daffy will want these.
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91. They'll match his necklace.
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92. Eh, can I help you?
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93. This isn't the parking lot.
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94. I've got to get my gloves back.
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95. These are all baby names.
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96. I don't want people
thinking I'm a baby.
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97. They're not just for babies.
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98. That's usually when
people get their names.
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99. Let me see.
What about John?
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100. John? John Duck?
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101. That sounds like jaundice!
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102. Like I'm all yellow and sickly.
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103. How about William?
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104. William? Willie?
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105. Silly-Willie-daffa-dillie?
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106. Who would say that?
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107. All the kids on the playground.
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108. What playground are you on?
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109. I don't know why
you're making such a big deal
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110. out of your name, anyway.
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111. Easy for you to say!
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112. You don't know what it's like
to have your name
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113. be a source of ridicule
and embarrassment.
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114. You've got it easy!
Your name's Porky—
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115. Well, you'd make a good John.
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116. John pig.
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117. Strong.
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118. Oh, there's my political
science teacher.
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119. Professor Johnson!
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120. Professor.
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121. Professor Duck.
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122. You've got to respect that.
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123. I'm afraid we don't carry
white gloves for men anymore.
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124. What? Why?
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125. Well, because it's not the 1800s.
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126. But I need them!
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127. We can special order them,
but it might take a while.
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128. Do you have any other gloves?
I really need a pair of gloves!
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129. Well, it's summer, so we don't
have that many options.
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130. Just get me a pair of gloves!
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131. Where are the fingers?
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132. It's all they had.
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133. Now, thanks to you, I'm this guy.
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134. Daffy, where's the remote?
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135. Daffy. Hello, Daffy!
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136. Ohoh, I'm sorry.
Were you talking to me?
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137. Because if you were,
my name's not Daffy.
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138. Check this out.
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139. You got a wallet?
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140. Not that. This.
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141. - Porky's credit card?
- What?
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142. No, not that. This.
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143. Professor Duck?
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144. I changed my name.
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145. Daffy, Professor is not a name.
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146. It's a title—
that you have to earn!
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147. I did earn it.
By going down to the courthouse
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148. and paying 14 bucks.
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149. Well, I used Porky's credit
card. So what do you think?
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150. I think I'm going to get a tattoo.
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151. What? Why?
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152. I don't know.
I just feel like it.
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153. Sorry if that hurts.
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154. I didn't know you started.
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155. Thanks for driving me to class.
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156. I didn't know how I was going to
get the cake there in one piece.
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157. Who's it for?
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158. My teacher.
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159. Each tier represents
a branch of government.
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160. This tier represents
the legislative branch,
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161. this tier is executive branch,
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162. and this is the judiciary branch.
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163. Again. We have
nothing in common.
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164. Professor Johnson!
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165. I've got a surprise for you.
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166. Is it another cake
that somehow represents
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167. whatever we talked about
in the last class?
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168. The nine gumdrops
are the supreme court justices.
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169. Even their gavels are edible.
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170. Ooh, I better get inside
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171. before someone gets the
seat closest to your desk.
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172. Oh, thanks for the ride, Professor!
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173. - You're a Professor.
- That's what they call me.
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174. How would you
like to take over my class?
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175. - What?
- That pig is driving me crazy.
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176. Please! There are only
a few classes left.
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177. All you've got to do
is follow the lesson plan.
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178. You'll figure it out.
You're a Professor.
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179. Professor Johnson!
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180. Don't forget about our pop quiz today!
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181. I'm begging you.
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182. Beat it.
You're in my chair.
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183. - But I was just—
- Leaving.
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184. Ain't nobody heard
of service around here?
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185. Hey, senor Bunny!
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186. What's with the shouting
and the double negatives?
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187. Cool it, pops.
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188. I'm just blowing off some steam.
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189. Pops? Who you calling pops?
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190. Just bring me a slice, old man.
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191. I'm not bringing you anything.
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192. You know what, get out of here.
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193. I reserve the right
to refuse service to anybody.
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194. I don't want your stupid pizza anyway!
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195. Hey, watch where you're a'goin'!
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196. Or what?
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197. Uh... nthin'.
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198. Anyone else?
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199. That's what I thought!
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200. Huh? What?
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201. All right, class, settle down.
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202. My name is...
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203. Professor Duck.
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204. That doesn't look right.
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205. Ah, one "F", two "F".
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206. That's weird.
I've got to memorize this.
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207. Professor Johnson has asked me
to take over your class.
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208. So for the next few weeks,
I will be your guide
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209. as we journey to a wonderful
place known as...
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210. Political science.
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211. No, you may not use the restroom.
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212. Let's see what we're learning today.
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213. What are you doing?
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214. I'm teaching your class!
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215. You're not a teacher.
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216. Excuse us for a moment.
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217. Now just because you changed your name
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218. doesn't make you a Professor.
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219. Then why do I have
a classroom full of students
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220. waiting for me to go back
in there and teach them?
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221. Because I shouted your name
across the parking lot
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222. and my teacher must have thought
you were a real Professor.
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223. - Professor.
- Professor.
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224. Please don't blow this for me!
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225. You don't understand. Things like
this don't happen to Daffy Duck.
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226. But Professor Duck has a chalkboard.
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227. Elbow patches!
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228. Glasses!
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229. I don't know.
It's unethical.
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230. - I'll give you an "A".
- Deal.
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231. I can't see out of these things.
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232. I'll take it!
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233. Meep meep!
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234. Meep meep!
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235. All right, class.
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236. Today we'll be focusing
on the executive branch,
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237. specifically the presidential cabinet.
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238. Now, as we all know,
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239. the president
is a very important person.
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240. So it would only be fitting
that his cabinet
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241. would be made of very expensive wood.
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242. Probably a mahogany or a cedar.
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243. Definitely not pine.
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244. Pine would be more
for a vice president cabinet.
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245. Now, what's the president
got in there?
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246. This is one of the greatest mysteries
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247. in all of political science.
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248. And though it remains unsolved,
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249. I have a theory!
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250. It's not a cabinet at all.
It's a portal.
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251. A portal that transports the president
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252. wherever he wants to go.
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253. The grocery store, the gym,
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254. maybe his favorite
frozen yogurt place.
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255. What on earth is going on out there?
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256. What has gotten into him?
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257. Hey, hey! Get out of here!
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258. My kids are trying to learn!
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259. You want to throw your life
away? That's your prerogative!
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260. That's what happens
when you don't stay in school.
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261. Thanks for letting me
do my laundry over here, mom.
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262. Don't they have a washer/dryer
at your apartment building?
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263. They do, but it takes coins.
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264. And I used up all my coins
making this shirt.
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265. Oh, mom, I think something's
wrong with your dryer.
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266. Who is that?
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267. It's Bugs!
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268. That's not the Bugs I know.
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269. That's not the Bugs I know, either.
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270. But I kinda like it.
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271. Where do you think
you're going, young lady?
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272. Wherever he'll take me!
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273. I forbid you to go out
with that hoodlum.
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274. But daddy, I love him!
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275. Go to your room!
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276. I don't even live here anymore!
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277. Well, then, go to your old room
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278. that your mother turned into
her scrapbooking room!
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279. Get off my property, Thugs Bunny!
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280. Bun bun!
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281. I'll come back for ya.
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282. You know, we were young once.
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283. That doesn't look like
it's got enough red marks.
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284. Maybe I'll circle this,
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285. maybe three question marks here.
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286. "X" this out, underline
this real aggressively.
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287. What do I do here?
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288. Oh!
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289. Frowny face.
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290. Better luck next time, Melanie.
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291. How about a little respect?
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292. You're not the boss of me.
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293. Go ahead, run away.
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294. You don't understand me!
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295. No one understands me!
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296. You're not going to find
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297. what you're looking for on the streak.
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298. How do you know?
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299. Because I used to be just like you.
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300. I wasn't always
a respected member of society.
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301. In fact, I used to be
so wild and crazy,
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302. they actually called me "Daffy".
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303. Why should I trust you?
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304. Maybe you shouldn't.
But give me the chance.
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305. Come to class tomorrow,
8:00 A.M.
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306. All right, class.
I guess that's everyone.
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307. Today we're going to talk
about checks and balances.
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308. Room for one more?
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309. Always.
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310. Ok.
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311. Checks. Money. Balances.
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312. Balancing on a tight rope.
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313. He makes it, gets a check.
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314. These are high buildings,
probably for a million dollars.
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315. I learned a lot in there today.
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316. Well, you've got a bright future.
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317. And don't ever let anyone
tell you different.
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318. Thanks again...
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319. Professor.
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320. Hey. You promise me
you'll keep up
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321. with your studies.
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322. He doesn't even go to school here!
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323. You promise me
you'll keep making a difference.
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324. He's not a real Professor!
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325. You know, it's funny.
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326. You dedicate
your whole life to academia,
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327. and you never imagine that one day,
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328. a student will walk into your class
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329. and teach you
the greatest lesson of all—
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330. Trust.
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331. Trust.
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332. Who are you guys?
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333. Give me those.
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334. Glasses.
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335. Trust.
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336. What are they talking about?
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337. Is that a flaming carrot?
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338. Where do you think you're going?
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339. Bugs is picking me up.
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340. You'll probably never see us again.
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341. We're probably going to join
a motorcycle gang
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342. and have a bunch of motorcycle babies.
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343. So... later!
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344. Have fun.
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345. Bugs?
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346. Look! My gloves
finally arrived.
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347. What happened to your bike?
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348. Oh, I sold it.
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349. Be right down.
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350. Almost ready.
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351. Thanks, grand mummy.
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352. And thank you, Lola.
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353. Ooh, don't go too fast!
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354. Ooh!
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355. You gave me an "F"?
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356. You said you'd give me an "A"!
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357. I wanted to.
I really did.
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358. But I just didn't think you had
a firm grasp of the material.
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359. Thanks a lot, Professor.
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360. - Oh, I'm back to Daffy.
- How come?
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361. Professor's too hard to spell.
Daffy's simple.
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362. D-a-f-y. Boom. Easy.
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363. Oh, here you go.
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364. My credit card?
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365. You're going to notice
two $14.00 charges
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366. on there to the courthouse.
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367. Oh, and one $700 charge
to contemporary male.
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368. Corduroy sports coats are expensive.
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