1. Oh, hey,
what's your home phone
number?
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2. The same
as your home phone number.
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3. Oh.
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4. - What are you doing?
- I got a new phone.
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5. What happened to your old phone?
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6. Toilet. What's Porky's
number?
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7. You don't know
Porky's phone number?
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8. No, he calls me,
but this way, when he calls
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9. I'll recognize the number,
and I'll know not to answer it.
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10. 5-5-5-0-8-1-5.
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11. What's his last name?
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12. You don't know
Porky's last name? It's Pig.
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13. Pig? Are you kidding?
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14. I thought that was his nickname.
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15. That is fantastic.
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16. Pig. Pooh!
How do you spell that?
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17. - What's up, doc?
- Hello there, neighbor.
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18. I'm sorry to bother you.
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19. But would you mind
signing this here petition?
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20. What's it for?
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21. Oh, you know. Stuff.
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22. Sam, I don't just sign something
without knowing what it is.
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23. - Hey, will you sign this?
- Sure.
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24. - Come on. What about you?
- What is it for?
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25. I'm tryin' to get the courts
to give me my guns back.
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26. You're kidding.
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27. If I get enough signatures
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28. saying that I'm a good neighbor
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29. with no anger issues
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30. and promises to use
firearms responsibly
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31. then they gotta give
me my guns back.
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32. I wonder why they took 'em
away in the first place.
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33. Can you hold the elevator?
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34. What do you mean,
I'm not tall enough to ride?
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35. I'm a grown man!
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36. I said dressin' on the side!
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37. I have no idea.
So will you sign it?
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38. - No.
- Mm.
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39. So it's not even
short for anything
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40. like Pigman or Pigstein?
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41. It's just Pig?
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42. Here's your food.
And here's the bill.
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43. I included
the gratuity this time.
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44. chomp chomp
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45. Salad, since when
do you eat salad?
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46. I'm trying to eat healthier.
I'm in training.
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47. I signed up for the marathon.
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48. The marathon?
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49. You're not athletic.
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50. I know, but it's something I've
always wondered if I could do.
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51. I know the answer to that.
You can't.
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52. I'm actually an okay runner.
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53. Huh, prove it.
Let's go outside and race.
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54. Oh, I-I...
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55. - What, are you scared?
- N-no. I'm not scared.
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56. I thought you were
a pig, not a chicken.
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57. - I am. I'm just...
- Just what?
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58. Afraid you'll lose?
Well, you will.
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59. - Fine.
- Ooh! It's on!
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60. Who wants to come outside
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61. and watch me whip
this pig in a footrace?
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62. Huh. I guess they already
know I'm going to win.
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63. Good race.
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64. You may have won the battle,
but I'm gonna win the war.
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65. What war?
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66. The marathon. I'm entering it.
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67. Oh, great. I-I'll have
someone to run with.
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68. Not great.
I'm going to beat you.
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69. I'm sure a lot
of people will beat me.
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70. I just want to finish.
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71. You'll finish alright,
behind me.
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72. And you'll have lost the war.
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73. There's no war.
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74. Oh, yes, there is.
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75. And you just lost
the first battle.
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76. I thought you said
I won the battle.
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77. I said you won the war.
But I will win the battle.
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78. - Who won?
- I did.
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79. I'm goin' for a run.
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80. Whoa! My phone!
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81. It's got my tunes on it.
Elton John's greatest hits.
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82. Since when do you run?
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83. Since Porky decided to turn
my whole world upside down.
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84. What are you talking about?
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85. - Porky entered a marathon.
- So?
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86. - So he's not the jock, I am.
- You're the jock?
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87. Look, in our circle of friends,
we all have our roles.
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88. You're the average Joe,
the every man.
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89. Porky's the nerd, the loser.
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90. And I'm the jock, the hunk.
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91. That makes sense.
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92. Can't hear ya. Elton John.
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93. Dag gummit. Ugh.
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94. Card sarn it! Unh.
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95. Lose something?
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96. Give me that.
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97. thud
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98. Oh. This is just the kind
of thing you need a gun for.
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99. I would've blasted that
darn smoke detector to bits.
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100. I ain't slept in three nights.
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101. Every time
I starts to fall asleep
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102. beep, beep, beep.
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103. You just need
to change the battery.
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104. Get down from there.
What are you doin'?
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105. I'm taking the battery out.
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106. No one asked for your help!
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107. Oh, great! Now I owe you one.
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108. You got another battery?
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109. No, I don't got another battery.
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110. - I've got one.
- No, you already done enough!
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111. Fine. Let me know
when you get one.
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112. And I'll come over
and put it in for you.
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113. Uh-uh. I already owe
you for takin' it out.
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114. I ain't gonna owe you double
for puttin' another in.
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115. Yosemite Sam don't like
owin' nothin' to nobody!
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116. What about that stack of bills?
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117. Those are faceless corporations.
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118. Now, what kinda cake
do you like?
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119. I'm bakin' you a cake
to pay you back.
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120. I-I don't know. Carrot?
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121. Well, you're gettin' chocolate.
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122. It's the only one
I know how to make.
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123. thud
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124. You're welcome.
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125. They found him lying
in the middle of the road.
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126. He's severely dehydrated,
but we're getting fluids in him.
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127. - So he should be fine.
- Why'd you call me?
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128. You were his "In case
of emergency" on his cell phone.
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129. Oh, thank goodness, you're here.
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130. I'm your "In case of emergency?"
What about Bugs?
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131. No, no, no, no.
You're the dependable one.
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132. Cool in a crisis.
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133. Bugs is the uptight one,
the stick in the mud.
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134. What are you talking about?
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135. In our friendship circle,
you're the dependable one
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136. Bugs is the uptight one,
Porky's the buffoon
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137. and I'm the stud.
Hey, you're fast, right?
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138. I'm the fastest mouse
in all of Mexico.
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139. Can you teach me to be the
fastest mouse in all of Mexico?
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140. Or at least, faster than Porky?
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141. I doubt it. Why me?
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142. Because you're the helpful one,
the saint.
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143. I thought you said
I was the dependable one.
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144. No. Porky's the dependable one.
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145. I thought Porky was the buffoon.
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146. - No, Bugs is the buffoon.
- I'm confused.
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147. That's because
you're not the smart one.
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148. I'm the smart one.
So will ya help me?
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149. - Fine.
- I knew I could count on you.
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150. That's why you're the stud.
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151. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna pass out.
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152. That nitwit! Daffy, call 911!
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153. What in tarnation
are you doin' here?
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154. You didn't change
the battery, did you?
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155. - What?
- Your house is on fire!
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156. I must've left the stove on,
baking your cake.
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157. We gotta get out of here!
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158. Eh. Wait.
Let me throw on some jeans.
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159. No, not these. They pinch.
Where's my good pair?
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160. Ah. They're in the hamper.
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161. Sam, we're gonna die!
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162. Your cake!
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163. Forget the cake!
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164. No way. I ain't stayin'
indebted to you.
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165. thud
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166. thud
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167. boom
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168. Hello. Hello.
Yosemite. Yosemite.
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169. Hello. It's me, Dr. Weisberg.
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170. That was some fire.
You're lucky to be alive.
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171. Thanks to this guy.
You really owe him one.
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172. - No, no, no, no.
- Unh.
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173. Oh. Oh, hey. You know, your
friend was in the other day.
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174. - Who?
- You know, your friend.
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175. The-the hunk. The jock.
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176. - Who?
- Come on, the stud.
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177. Eh, forget it.
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178. Hey, doc, will you sign this?
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179. I'm tryin' to get my guns back.
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180. What are you, nuts?
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181. Sure you don't wanna reconsider?
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182. I'm sure.
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183. But if you need a place to
say
until your house is fixed..
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184. Oh, no!
I already owe you plenty.
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185. Sam, you don't owe me anything.
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186. I wish that were true,
believe you me.
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187. But the fact of the matter
is you saved my life.
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188. And everyone knows
the only way to repay someone
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189. who saves your life
is to save theirs.
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190. My life's not in any danger.
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191. You don't know that.
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192. You think I thought
my life was in danger
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193. when I went to sleep
last night with the stove on
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194. pan full of grease
next to a stack of newspapers
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195. I was thinkin' about recyclin'?
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196. No, siree. You saved my life.
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197. So now I gots to save yours.
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198. How about last night, huh?
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199. That Bugs is a real hero.
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200. Bugs isn't the hero.
He's the nerd.
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201. You're really not getting
this friendship circle thing.
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202. Okay, if you're gonna
run a marathon
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203. you need endurance
and proper technique.
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204. Here, watch me.
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205. whoosh
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206. - Like that.
- Like what?
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207. Go. So I can see it.
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208. Are you kidding? I just did it.
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209. I didn't see anything.
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210. Fine. I'll do it again slower.
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211. - There.
- What? Go.
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212. Okay. I'll go
in slow motion this time.
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213. Pay attention
to my stride and my posture.
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214. whoosh
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215. Wow. You're fast.
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216. How come
you don't enter the marathon?
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217. Because it wouldn't be fair.
If I enter, I'll win.
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218. Give someone else a chance. Heh.
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219. I guess I am the saint.
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220. Okay, give me
a couple laps so I can see
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221. what I'm working with. Go.
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222. How do I look?
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223. Like a woman wearing
high heels carrying a purse.
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224. - Oh. How far did I go?
- Like, 10 feet.
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225. How many feet are in a marathon?
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226. Like 137,000.
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227. Hi, guys.
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228. There he goes. The hunk.
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229. I'll never beat that jock.
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230. What a stud.
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231. What a dependable, smart stud.
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232. Aah!
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233. - Don't worry! I'll save you!
- What?
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234. You're chokin'. I got to
give you the Heimlich.
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235. That's-that's not the Heimlich!
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236. I'm not sure what the
Heimlich
is, but I'm saving your life.
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237. I'm not choking.
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238. thud
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239. Well, I saw you cough.
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240. Were you watching me?
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241. It's all I been doin'.
I can't sleep!
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242. First, it was
the smoke detector.
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243. Now, it's the burden of repayin'
this soul-crushing debt.
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244. You should've let me die.
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245. I hate you.
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246. But I will not rest
until I save your life.
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247. And then I can go back
to just being your bad neighbor
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248. with anger issues.
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249. - You wanna sign this again?
- Sure.
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250. Careful. There's a bunch
of broken glass everywhere.
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251. Okay. Let's see here.
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252. Today, you did
three jumping jacks
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253. one sit up, and half a push-up.
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254. Well, that's better
than yesterday.
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255. What are you drinking?
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256. Energy drink.
Gotta replace my electrolytes.
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257. It's root beer.
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258. Man, you got to be serious
about your nutrition.
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259. You got to think
of your body as a machine.
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260. Nutrition is the fuel.
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261. What's a typical day
of food for you?
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262. Well, I start
with a sensible breakfast.
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263. A bunch of powdered
sugar on a hotdog.
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264. That's not sensible.
That is insensible.
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265. What about lunch?
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266. Usually turkey sandwich
on wheat.
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267. Okay. That's pretty good!
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268. I just deep-fry
that sucker and dump
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269. a bunch
of powdered sugar on top.
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270. I'm scared to ask
what you eat for dinner.
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271. I like a big dinner.
Helps me sleep.
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272. I'll take a casserole dish,
you know something big and deep.
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273. Pour about two inches
of powdered sugar in there
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274. a rack of baby back ribs,
a layer of marshmallows.
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275. 'More powdered sugar,
'til it's about ye high.'
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276. Throw that dude in the microwave
for about 45 minutes
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277. sprinkle with powdered
sugar and serve.
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278. gulp gulp gulp
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279. That's what you eat for dinner?
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280. Well, I supplement throughout
the day with these protein bars.
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281. chomp
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282. That's a tube of cookie dough.
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283. Look at him go.
Look at that commitment.
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284. That's why he's the buffoon.
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285. chomp
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286. Hi, Mr. Bunny.
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287. Oh, hey, Gossamer.
What can I do for ya?
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288. My teacher is wondering if
you'd come and talk to my class
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289. about what it's like
to be a hero.
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290. - Oh, sure. When will you...
- Aah!
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291. Now we're even-steven.
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292. What are you talking about?
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293. Well, you were about to get
eaten by a monster.
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294. That's Gossamer.
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295. He's our neighbor
and he's nine years old.
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296. So I didn't just save your life?
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297. No. Put him down!
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298. thud
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299. You help me get my guns back?
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300. My mom says I'm not
allowed to talk to you.
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301. How about one more?
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302. Careful.
There's a big net out here.
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303. Hello.
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304. Hey, Porky.
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305. Oh, hey, Bugs. What's up?
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306. I have a favor to ask of you.
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307. (Porky)
'Anything.'
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308. I need you to hit me
with your car.
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309. thud
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310. Come on, touch your toes.
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311. I can't.
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312. Flexibility is the key
to a proper stride.
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313. We got to get
your hamstring stretched out.
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314. This is as far as I can go.
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315. - Are you sure about this?
- Don't worry.
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316. Someone's gonna save me
before you actually hit me.
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317. - Oh, I see you.
- Okay. Good.
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318. Now, I'm gonna enter
the intersection.
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319. But don't slow down.
It's gotta look real.
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320. It's burning.
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321. I bet that stud Porky Pig
can touch his toes.
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322. I'm the stud!
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323. Aah!
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324. crash
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325. You got one friend who
nearly
gets you killed in a fire.
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326. And another who hits
you with his car.
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327. You gotta get some new friends.
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328. Except for that one guy.
The hunk. The jock.
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329. He's a keeper.
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330. Well, there's only one
thing left to do.
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331. - Stop trying to save my life?
- No!
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332. Try ten times as hard!
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333. From here on out,
I'm never leavin' your side!
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334. Okay. Visiting hours are over.
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335. Well, see you tomorrow.
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336. Oh, hey, will you sign this?
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337. Well, I-I need to read it first.
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338. Forget it.
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339. - How you feeling?
- Good. Strong.
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340. - You do your stretching?
- Yep. All stretched out.
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341. What did you have
for breakfast this morning?
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342. Eggs. Just like you told me.
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343. Oh, no. Thank you.
It wouldn't be fair.
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344. Give someone else a chance.
After all, I'm the saint.
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345. Wait a second.
I'm not the saint.
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346. I'm the fastest mouse
in all of Mexico. I'm the jock!
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347. Give me a number.
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348. Good morning, runners.
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349. 'Welcome to the 53rd
Annual Royal Oaks..'
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350. Oh!
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351. And here now to start
the race is local hero
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352. Bugs Bunny.
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353. Now, in 30 minutes,
I'll give you the signal.
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354. And you'll fire this
starter's pistol into the
air
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355. starting the race.
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356. Oh.
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357. What is wrong with you?
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358. I saved your life!
He was about to shoot you dead!
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359. No, you idiot!
That's not a real gun.
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360. That's a starter's pist..
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361. I mean, thank you.
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362. You saved my life.
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363. So the debt's been paid?
We're square?
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364. We're square. Totally
square.
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365. Now, can I please
start the race?
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366. Sorry, rabbit,
it's been too long.
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367. Yee-haw!
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368. It's not even a real gun!
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369. Hey. I'm done.
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370. Unh. Oh.
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371. What happened?
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372. I must've had some bad eggs.
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373. - Let me get you some help.
- No.
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374. You need to finish.
This is your dream.
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375. I should've been a good
friend and supported you.
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376. I'm just gonna have
to get used to the idea
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377. that you're the jock
and I'm the loser.
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378. - B-but...
- Go!
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379. Go, you dependable,
uptight, hunky, loser stud.
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380. I'm not finishing without you.
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381. I can't believe
you carried Daffy 23 miles.
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382. What an incredible gesture.
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383. Ah, he would've
done-done the same for me.
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384. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
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385. 'Look, you can clearly
see my feet crossing'
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386. the finish line before you.
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387. That means I won.
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388. The circle of friendship
is finally restored.
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389. I am the stud.
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390. You're the buffoon.
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391. You're the uptight one.
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392. And you're... the mouse.
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393. The mouse? I thought you said
I was the dependable one.
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394. He's really not getting this
friendship circle thing, is he?
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395. Then again,
he's not the smart guy.
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396. I'm the smart guy.
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397. And the saint and the jock.
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398. The hunk. The dependable
one.
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399. 'The golden boy.
The gifted child.'
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400. You can have my gun when you pry
it from my cold dead..
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401. What's the big deal?
It was a starter's pistol.
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402. There weren't no bullets in it.
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403. I wouldn't act that way
with a real gun. I promise.
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404. What about all these signatures?
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405. Will you sign this?
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