1. Hey, I'm off to the mall.
Copy !req
2. What do you do there every day?
Copy !req
3. - You don't have any money.
- I don't need money.
Copy !req
4. I go to the food court
and eat free samples.
Copy !req
5. Hmm.
Copy !req
6. Are you looking for your purse?
Copy !req
7. It's in the closet.
Copy !req
8. It's a handbag, not a purse.
Copy !req
9. Why don't you just
carry a wallet?
Copy !req
10. And what am I supposed
to do with all my items?
Copy !req
11. What items?
Copy !req
12. My phone
Copy !req
13. sunglasses
Copy !req
14. my mints, my lip gloss
Copy !req
15. my scrunchies.
Copy !req
16. Ugh, I can't believe
Copy !req
17. you go out looking like that.
Copy !req
18. You're right.
Copy !req
19. Oh, no.
What'd he do?
Copy !req
20. He didn't do anything.
His purse was stolen.
Copy !req
21. It was a handbag.
Copy !req
22. Anyway, he was
extremely distraught
Copy !req
23. so we gave him a ride home.
Copy !req
24. Oh, do you want
a medal for that?
Copy !req
25. Where were you when I
was being criminalized?
Copy !req
26. So we can leave him with you?
Copy !req
27. Eh..
Copy !req
28. We'll let you know
if we find your purse.
Copy !req
29. Handbag!
Copy !req
30. 'Ohh.'
Copy !req
31. What happened?
Copy !req
32. I was in the food court.
Copy !req
33. I had just finished
some mini-meatballs
Copy !req
34. when I noticed
the cinnaball girl
Copy !req
35. with a tray of cinnaballs.
Copy !req
36. Over here, doll.
Copy !req
37. Mm. Mm!
Copy !req
38. Oh, that's nice.
Copy !req
39. So light.
Copy !req
40. I'd eaten about four or five
Copy !req
41. when she jerked
the tray away from me
Copy !req
42. and told me I'd had enough.
Copy !req
43. What do you mean,
I've exceeded my sample limit?
Copy !req
44. Where does it say anything
about a sample limit?
Copy !req
45. Naturally, I became enraged.
Copy !req
46. You can't just arbitrarily
make up rules.
Copy !req
47. This is insanity!
This is kafkaesque!
Copy !req
48. I am a valued customer!
Copy !req
49. What does this have
to do with your purse?
Copy !req
50. For the last time,
it's a handbag.
Copy !req
51. And I am getting to it.
Copy !req
52. In order for you
to understand what happened
Copy !req
53. you need to know the backstory.
Copy !req
54. Actually, the backstory's
not important.
Copy !req
55. When I turned around,
my handbag was gone.
Copy !req
56. So get another handbag.
Copy !req
57. That handbag was irreplaceable.
Copy !req
58. I got it years ago in Paris
Copy !req
59. when I was modeling.
Copy !req
60. What?
Copy !req
61. I mean, look at me.
Copy !req
62. 'So young and innocent.'
Copy !req
63. 'Oh, there's me with the bag.'
Copy !req
64. My handbag.
Copy !req
65. My beautiful handbag.
Copy !req
66. Alright, I can't listen
to this anymore.
Copy !req
67. - Where are you going?
- The mall.
Copy !req
68. I'm gonna get you a new handbag.
Copy !req
69. - I told you it's irreplaceable.
- Fine.
Copy !req
70. But if you insist
Copy !req
71. get something in, like,
a chocolate brown, you know.
Copy !req
72. Something versatile.
Just not black.
Copy !req
73. And it should have
a lot of pockets.
Copy !req
74. It needs to be functional
Copy !req
75. but still fashionable.
Copy !req
76. But nothing too big.
Copy !req
77. I don't want a tote.
Copy !req
78. He's gonna get me a tote.
Copy !req
79. Uh, what do you mean,
I've exceeded my sample limit?
Copy !req
80. It didn't say anything
about a sample limit.
Copy !req
81. Hello, I am a different person
Copy !req
82. and I'm very interested
in one of these samples.
Copy !req
83. Oh, my gosh!
Copy !req
84. Is that Bugs?
Copy !req
85. Oh, I mean, oh, my gosh.
Is that Bugs?
Copy !req
86. Ooh!
Copy !req
87. Where did he go?
Copy !req
88. There he is.
Copy !req
89. What is he buying a purse for?
Copy !req
90. Our anniversary!
Copy !req
91. It's this Friday.
He's buying me a purse.
Copy !req
92. Oh, Bun-bun.
You're so sweet.
Copy !req
93. I can't believe I almost
forgot our anniversary.
Copy !req
94. Oh, what am I gonna get
for Bugs?
Copy !req
95. I mean what am I
gonna get for Bugs?
Copy !req
96. Ehh..
Copy !req
97. Eh..
I'm a valued customer.
Copy !req
98. I want another cinnaball.
Copy !req
99. Aah!
Copy !req
100. Ooh!
Copy !req
101. - Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
Copy !req
102. What time you want me
to pick you up for date night?
Copy !req
103. Date night?
I can't go anywhere.
Copy !req
104. What's wrong with you?
Copy !req
105. I was the victim
of a violent crime.
Copy !req
106. - What happened?
- My handbag was stolen.
Copy !req
107. You were mugged?
Did you get beat up?
Copy !req
108. No. I just turned around
and it was gone.
Copy !req
109. Then you weren't the victim
of a violent crime, you nitwit.
Copy !req
110. You probably just
left it somewhere.
Copy !req
111. I told you not to carry a purse.
Copy !req
112. Handbag.
Copy !req
113. The point is it's gone
Copy !req
114. just like my innocence.
Copy !req
115. Before this,
I would look at strangers
Copy !req
116. as a friend I hadn't met yet.
Copy !req
117. I saw the possibility
Copy !req
118. and the beauty in everything.
Copy !req
119. 'I was like a new-born child.'
Copy !req
120. 'I lived my life
with an open heart.'
Copy !req
121. 'I can't get the person
I was back'
Copy !req
122. 'that person is gone.'
Copy !req
123. 'Tina?'
Copy !req
124. 'Tina? Tina?'
Copy !req
125. Mm, this is kind of nice.
Copy !req
126. Clean. It's crisp.
Copy !req
127. He'd look good in this.
Copy !req
128. Wait a second.
I can't just get Bugs a shirt.
Copy !req
129. It's our anniversary.
Copy !req
130. I've gotta get him
something incredible.
Copy !req
131. Something extraordinary.
Copy !req
132. And I don't care if I have to go
Copy !req
133. to the ends of the Earth
to find it.
Copy !req
134. Hi! Yes, uh, I'm interested
in hiring a bodyguard.
Copy !req
135. I guess 24 hours a day,
seven days a week.
Copy !req
136. Ex-special forces guy?
Ooh.
Copy !req
137. Yeah, that sounds good.
Copy !req
138. Twenty five hundred a day?
Copy !req
139. Wow.
That's kinda steep.
Copy !req
140. But if it means not having
to look over my shoulder
Copy !req
141. in fear for the rest of my life
Copy !req
142. then I guess it's worth it.
Let's do it.
Copy !req
143. The name on the card
is Bugs Bunny.
Copy !req
144. The number is 2-5-4-6-7-7..
Copy !req
145. I'll call you back.
Copy !req
146. (Bugs)
'What the..'
Copy !req
147. - Can I help you?
- Why doesn't my key work?
Copy !req
148. I had the locks changed.
You can't be too careful.
Copy !req
149. - Daffy, let me in.
- What's the password?
Copy !req
150. There is no password.
This is my house.
Copy !req
151. Fine.
But there is a password.
Copy !req
152. And it's "The leprechaun
is in motion."
Copy !req
153. What?
That's not a password.
Copy !req
154. That's a pass sentence.
Copy !req
155. Oh, uh, then the password is..
Copy !req
156. zero, eight
Copy !req
157. four, four..
Copy !req
158. L-X-Z
Copy !req
159. four, one
Copy !req
160. seven, dash
Copy !req
161. six, six
Copy !req
162. four, seven
Copy !req
163. one, four, four, thirteen.
Copy !req
164. - Just let me in!
- Not without the password.
Copy !req
165. Fine. What is it again?
Copy !req
166. Zero, five..
Oh. No, wait.
Copy !req
167. Zero, three..
No, wait. What was it?
Copy !req
168. Oh. I've forgotten
the password.
Copy !req
169. Well, I can't let you in
Copy !req
170. without the password.
Copy !req
171. Please.
Please let me in.
Copy !req
172. I'm begging you.
It's me, Daffy.
Copy !req
173. Alright.
Just this once.
Copy !req
174. Unlock the door
and I'll let you in.
Copy !req
175. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Copy !req
176. Hey, Bugs!
Let me in!
Copy !req
177. - I'm vulnerable out here.
- It's unlocked.
Copy !req
178. Are you out of your mind?
Copy !req
179. You just leave
the door unlocked?
Copy !req
180. Not that I wanna reward
this kind of behavior
Copy !req
181. but here.
Copy !req
182. 'I got you something.'
Copy !req
183. - What is it?
- It's a new handbag.
Copy !req
184. This isn't a handbag.
This is a clutch.
Copy !req
185. - A what?
- Ugh!
Copy !req
186. A handbag is a versatile bag
Copy !req
187. that you can carry every day.
Copy !req
188. It goes with any outfit.
Copy !req
189. It's practical, wearable.
Copy !req
190. This is a clutch.
Copy !req
191. It's a strapless bag
Copy !req
192. that is clutched in the hand.
Copy !req
193. It's an evening bag
for a fancy night out
Copy !req
194. like a night at the opera.
Copy !req
195. Not that you ever take me
to the opera.
Copy !req
196. Fine. I'll return it.
Copy !req
197. Well, let's not be hasty.
Copy !req
198. It's good to have options,
you know.
Copy !req
199. Maybe one night, you actually
will take me to the opera.
Copy !req
200. Not that I'd even wanna go. I
don't wanna go anywhere anymore.
Copy !req
201. I don't feel safe, I mean, look
Copy !req
202. there's not enough room
in here for pepper spray.
Copy !req
203. I can barely fit my credit card.
Copy !req
204. That's my credit card.
Copy !req
205. Fine, I'm gonna go see
if there's anything
Copy !req
206. in my closet
that goes with this.
Copy !req
207. I would have been
better off with a tote.
Copy !req
208. I'm a valued customer.
Copy !req
209. I want another cinnaball.
Copy !req
210. Eh..
Copy !req
211. Do you mind if I sleep with you?
Copy !req
212. - Hello?
- Hi, Bugs.
Copy !req
213. Just making sure we're all set
Copy !req
214. for Friday night.
Copy !req
215. Uh, sure.
What's Friday night?
Copy !req
216. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
217. Alright, okay.
Copy !req
218. See you then, 8 o'clock.
Copy !req
219. Now what am I gonna get Bugs?
Copy !req
220. Oh!
Copy !req
221. Hmm. I like the frame.
Copy !req
222. Oh, her face is tough.
Copy !req
223. What is she thinking?
Copy !req
224. Well, this is nice.
Copy !req
225. Oh, but it's broken. Ugh.
Copy !req
226. Ooh!
This is perfect.
Copy !req
227. Excuse me, miss. Hi.
How much for this painting?
Copy !req
228. - Pardon?
- Oh, sorry.
Copy !req
229. You speak French?
Luckily, so do I.
Copy !req
230. I am looking for
a very special gift
Copy !req
231. for my boyfriend and I
wanted
to buy this painting.
Copy !req
232. Oh, I have a 20.
Copy !req
233. And two ones.
Copy !req
234. So, your lucky day.
That is $22.
Copy !req
235. Well, the French
really are rude.
Copy !req
236. Wait a second, I can't get this.
Copy !req
237. Bugs is allergic to sunflowers.
Copy !req
238. Well, time for plan B.
Copy !req
239. I can't take it anymore.
Copy !req
240. I live in a constant
state of fear.
Copy !req
241. I can't sleep. I can't eat.
Copy !req
242. That's a good egg salad.
Here's the deal.
Copy !req
243. I need someone by my side
24 hours a day.
Copy !req
244. So, will you be my bodyguard?
Copy !req
245. - Why me?
- Porky, you'd be perfect.
Copy !req
246. For the past three years,
you've been taking karate.
Copy !req
247. I don't take karate.
I take Pilates.
Copy !req
248. Pilates?
What the heck is Pilates?
Copy !req
249. It's a body conditioning routine
Copy !req
250. that builds long, lean muscles.
Copy !req
251. And you've been taking
that for three years?
Copy !req
252. You should get your
money back.
Copy !req
253. Well, forget it.
Go home.
Copy !req
254. - I'll figure something out.
- N-n-no, wait.
Copy !req
255. I wanna be by somebody's
side
24 hours a day.
Copy !req
256. I-I-I mean,
I wanna be your bodyguard.
Copy !req
257. I can't thank you enough.
Copy !req
258. Is there, like, Pilates homework
you haven't been doing?
Copy !req
259. You know today was the first day
Copy !req
260. since the incident
that I've felt like my old self.
Copy !req
261. Just knowing I had someone
watching over me
Copy !req
262. gave me the freedom
to get out there
Copy !req
263. and live my life again.
Copy !req
264. What do you mean,
"Get out there?"
Copy !req
265. You didn't go anywhere.
Is this what you do every day?
Copy !req
266. Well, I used to go to the mall
Copy !req
267. but I don't see myself
doing that anytime soon.
Copy !req
268. Of course, now that I
have a bodyguard
Copy !req
269. I guess anything is possible.
Copy !req
270. Okay.
Well, see you tomorrow.
Copy !req
271. See me tomorrow?
You're gonna see me all night.
Copy !req
272. Twenty four hours
means twenty four hours.
Copy !req
273. I wanna feel those
beady little piggy eyes
Copy !req
274. on me while I sleep.
Copy !req
275. I don't know. Maybe I'm not
thinking big enough.
Copy !req
276. Bugs needs something big
and dramatic.
Copy !req
277. That's it!
Copy !req
278. 'That's what I'll get Bugs
for our anniversary.'
Copy !req
279. Oh, it's perfect.
He'll love that.
Copy !req
280. No, wait.
I can't just get him one.
Copy !req
281. That'll look weird.
Copy !req
282. I'll have to get him
the whole set.
Copy !req
283. But then, three?
Is that too much pyramid?
Copy !req
284. Maybe that's a little
too much pyramid.
Copy !req
285. Ooh! what about that?
Copy !req
286. No, that wouldn't be good.
Copy !req
287. A pet is a lot
of responsibility.
Copy !req
288. He's already got Taz.
Copy !req
289. Man, this beach goes on forever.
Copy !req
290. Excuse me? How far till we get
to the ocean?
Copy !req
291. Eesh, and I thought
the French were rude.
Copy !req
292. Uh-oh, sliding.
Copy !req
293. Sliding, uh, off the hump.
Copy !req
294. Um, uh, person?
Person with the leash?
Copy !req
295. Sand in my mouth.
Copy !req
296. A lot of hot sand in my mouth.
Copy !req
297. You gonna get that?
Copy !req
298. - Why would I get it?
- Because you're my bodyguard.
Copy !req
299. What if something happened
to me when I answered it?
Copy !req
300. The cord could get
wrapped around my neck.
Copy !req
301. It's a-a-a cordless phone.
Copy !req
302. (Daffy)
'Just get it.'
Copy !req
303. Hello?
Copy !req
304. It's the police.
Copy !req
305. Since we don't have
a lot to go on
Copy !req
306. we'd like you to look
through these mug shots
Copy !req
307. and see if you recognize anyone
Copy !req
308. that might have
taken your purse.
Copy !req
309. - Handbag.
- Ma'am, relax.
Copy !req
310. We're just trying to help.
Copy !req
311. Nope.
Copy !req
312. Nope, uh-uh.
Copy !req
313. Hm.
Can I see that one again?
Copy !req
314. Aha!
I recognize this guy.
Copy !req
315. So this is the guy
who took your handbag?
Copy !req
316. No, he's my neighbor.
But someone's gotta pay.
Copy !req
317. That's not how it works.
Copy !req
318. I need closure.
Copy !req
319. Well, sometimes,
to help a victim access memories
Copy !req
320. they may have suppressed
due to trauma
Copy !req
321. we use hypnosis.
Copy !req
322. Here, this is the name
of the therapist we use.
Copy !req
323. Who's this guy?
Copy !req
324. My bodyguard.
Copy !req
325. crash
Copy !req
326. boom
Copy !req
327. I think Bugs already
has one of these.
Copy !req
328. Yaah!
Copy !req
329. Hey!
Copy !req
330. I-I'm sorry!
Copy !req
331. It's just very hard working
Copy !req
332. uh, 24 hours a day.
Copy !req
333. You're my 2 o'clock?
Copy !req
334. You're my therapist?
Copy !req
335. I thought you were a witch.
Copy !req
336. Well, some of us
gotta make a living.
Copy !req
337. We can't all mooch off
of Bugs Bunny.
Copy !req
338. Are you my 2 o'clock?
Copy !req
339. Oh.
Uh, I-I-I'm actually...
Copy !req
340. Right this way.
Copy !req
341. You're getting very sleepy.
Copy !req
342. When I snap my fingers
Copy !req
343. you gonna be all hypnotized.
Copy !req
344. So let me get this straight.
Copy !req
345. When the cops
can't do their jobs
Copy !req
346. they rely on voodoo..
Copy !req
347. Let's go back to the day
Copy !req
348. your purse was stolen.
Copy !req
349. Handbag.
Copy !req
350. It's a handbag.
Copy !req
351. What do you mean,
I've exceeded my sample limit?
Copy !req
352. Where does it say anything
about a sample limit?
Copy !req
353. (Hazel)
Good, you're there.
Copy !req
354. Now where's your handbag?
Copy !req
355. (Daffy)
It was hanging
on the back of my chair.
Copy !req
356. But now it's gone.
Copy !req
357. (Hazel)
Okay. Okay. Now look around.
Copy !req
358. What do you see?
Copy !req
359. (Daffy)
He's-he's got it.
Copy !req
360. That man, that man's
got my handbag.
Copy !req
361. - Who's got it?
- I can't tell.
Copy !req
362. I can't make him out.
Copy !req
363. Well, you gotta try.
Copy !req
364. He's in a dark jacket.
Copy !req
365. Good, good. What else?
Copy !req
366. His name's on the back.
Copy !req
367. (Hazel)
Okay!
Copy !req
368. Can you read it?
Copy !req
369. I don't know.
I think it's in Spanish.
Copy !req
370. "Mal Secur.."
Copy !req
371. "Mal Secura."
Copy !req
372. His name is Mal Securati.
Copy !req
373. Is this the name
on the back of the jacket?
Copy !req
374. Yes! That's it.
Mal Securati.
Copy !req
375. You fool!
This says "Mall security."
Copy !req
376. I bet your purse
is in the lost and found.
Copy !req
377. Wait. So I wasn't the victim
of a violent crime?
Copy !req
378. The only victim here is me
Copy !req
379. for having to sit here
with you wasting my time.
Copy !req
380. Now, get on out of here.
Copy !req
381. Guess I won't be needing
a bodyguard anymore.
Copy !req
382. "Mal Securati."
Copy !req
383. Uh, I-I can't thank you enough.
Copy !req
384. I-I didn't realize I had been
suppressing so much for so long.
Copy !req
385. - It's all so clear now.
- I'll see you next week.
Copy !req
386. - Where were you?
- Daffy, eh, we need to talk.
Copy !req
387. I c-can't be your
bodyguard anymore.
Copy !req
388. - Okay.
- Wow.
Copy !req
389. Th-that was easier
than I thought.
Copy !req
390. Okay, also,
if we're gonna be friends
Copy !req
391. I-I need you
to-to treat me like an equal.
Copy !req
392. No way.
Now, give me a ride to the mall.
Copy !req
393. I've gotta pick up my handbag.
Copy !req
394. Well, one out of two isn't bad.
Copy !req
395. Ha ha.
Eh, baby steps, huh?
Copy !req
396. Here.
Copy !req
397. - What?
- It's nothing.
Copy !req
398. I mean, you deserve a gift
that's as amazing as you
are.
Copy !req
399. And I looked everywhere,
believe me.
Copy !req
400. But I just
ran out of time. So..
Copy !req
401. A shirt.
Wow.
Copy !req
402. Thank you.
I love it.
Copy !req
403. - You do?
- Sure.
Copy !req
404. I'd love anything you gave me.
Copy !req
405. Oh! Happy anniversary,
Bun-bun.
Copy !req
406. So, where's my present?
Copy !req
407. Oh.
Copy !req
408. Uh, it's..
Copy !req
409. in the car.
Copy !req
410. I-I left it in the car.
Copy !req
411. Be right back.
Copy !req
412. Go ahead and order dessert.
Copy !req
413. I parked really far away.
Copy !req
414. Anniversary? Where am I gonna
get a gift at this hour?
Copy !req
415. Perfect, now I have a day bag
Copy !req
416. and an evening bag.
Copy !req
417. Aah!
Copy !req
418. My purse!
I mean, my clutch!
Copy !req
419. Someone stole my clutch.
Copy !req
420. Help! Stop him!
Copy !req
421. He's got my clutch!
Copy !req
422. Huh! Why does this
keep happening to me?
Copy !req
423. Man, this thing's small.
Can barely fit my credit
card.
Copy !req
424. Wait a second.
We met on a tennis court.
Copy !req
425. - So?
- In July.
Copy !req
426. It's April. Last night
wasn't our anniversary.
Copy !req
427. Oh. Right.
Yes.
Copy !req
428. Wait, then why were you
buying a purse?
Copy !req
429. (Daffy)
'Oh, I haven't seen these
in years.'
Copy !req
430. Look at this.
Oh, it's wonder.. Oh.
Copy !req
431. Here I am with Lauren Hutton
Copy !req
432. and a then-unknown Bo Derek.
Copy !req
433. And yes,
that's a Bob Mackie jumpsuit.
Copy !req
434. Handbag.
Copy !req
435. Clutch.
Copy !req
436. Tote.
Copy !req
437. Bob Mackie jumpsuit.
Copy !req