1. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
2. Everyone stop
what you're doing.Copy !req
3. I have terrible news.Copy !req
4. Dwight is no longer with us.Copy !req
5. What?Copy !req
6. He's gone, damn it!Copy !req
7. He's been promoted
to VP of Sabre retail,Copy !req
8. and he's staying
in Florida forever.Copy !req
9. So... He's alive.Copy !req
10. Yeah.
That was him on the phone.Copy !req
11. He sounds wonderful.Copy !req
12. Well, the way you said it
made it sound like he was dead.Copy !req
13. How could I have been
more clear?Copy !req
14. He had a massive stroke
of good fortuneCopy !req
15. and he is now
in a better place.Copy !req
16. If Dwight's not coming back,Copy !req
17. does that mean we can open
his treasure?Copy !req
18. Uh...Copy !req
19. You guys, we've gone over this.Copy !req
20. There is no treasure.Copy !req
21. When the team left
for Tallahassee,Copy !req
22. Dwight told everyone
not to touch his treasure.Copy !req
23. Don't touch my treasure.Copy !req
24. Okay? You understand?Copy !req
25. Obviously, he wants us
to obsess about it.Copy !req
26. There's nothing in there.Copy !req
27. Which is obviously what
he would want us to think,Copy !req
28. making it the perfect place
to hide a treasure!Copy !req
29. Oh, God, I'm Wallace ShawnCopy !req
30. The Princess Bride!Copy !req
31. I think that Dwight
wanted us to realizeCopy !req
32. that this conversation
among friendsCopy !req
33. is the true treasure.Copy !req
34. That's not Dwight.
No.Copy !req
35. I am dying to know
what's in there.Copy !req
36. Yeah, I know, Oscar.
We all are.Copy !req
37. But nobody's gonna open it.
You'd have to be insane.Copy !req
38. Hi, hello.Copy !req
39. Now carefully open the box.Copy !req
40. It's a photo of all of us.Copy !req
41. Oh, that's so sweet.Copy !req
42. Well, I mean, I don't know
that it's poison.Copy !req
43. I mean, I just have to imagine.
God, I'm glad he's okay though.Copy !req
44. Kinda sounds like
he deserved it,Copy !req
45. opening another man's
treasure and all.Copy !req
46. Wow!Copy !req
47. Well, Mr. Ball,
it's been a pleasure.Copy !req
48. Now give my regards to hell!
Dah!Copy !req
49. All right!
Well swung, my VIP VP.Copy !req
50. I am loving the chemistry
between you two.Copy !req
51. I am so happy.Copy !req
52. Dwight is gonna be working
alongside me.Copy !req
53. We are a regular Archibald
and his man George.Copy !req
54. I bet.
I'm excited.Copy !req
55. Trick!
There's no such thing.Copy !req
56. It's not even
a real English duo.Copy !req
57. Ahh!Copy !req
58. I just made you look
like the Goat of Dover.Copy !req
59. And that doesn't exist either.Copy !req
60. You think you're excited?
You should feel my nipples.Copy !req
61. Boing!Copy !req
62. Oh, that reminds me.
Little something from all of us.Copy !req
63. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
64. Thank you, Jim.
That's so thoughtful.Copy !req
65. Fore!Copy !req
66. - Oh, yeah!
- He doesn't even care.Copy !req
67. Don't even care!Copy !req
68. This is the last time
I'll ever see Dwight.Copy !req
69. It's a weird feeling.Copy !req
70. It's, um...Copy !req
71. What's the word?
It's not bittersweet.Copy !req
72. It's, uh...Copy !req
73. Sweet.Copy !req
74. Yeah.Copy !req
75. Hey, man.
Selling cookies for Jada.Copy !req
76. Want the same as last year?Copy !req
77. Would if I could
and I can, so I will.Copy !req
78. Put me down for one box.Copy !req
79. Don't care what it is,
dealer's choice.Copy !req
80. I'll put you down
for shortbreads.Copy !req
81. Damn it!Copy !req
82. Knock, knock.Copy !req
83. Hey, it's Sasha's first year
in the troupe,Copy !req
84. so I'm selling cookies for her.Copy !req
85. - Anyway, would you like some?
- No!Copy !req
86. - No.
- What?Copy !req
87. I've been selling here
for five years.Copy !req
88. This is my spot.Copy !req
89. You can't claim territories.Copy !req
90. This is the only place
I interact with people.Copy !req
91. Can't you sell at...Copy !req
92. Your church or barbershop?Copy !req
93. Or... Chess club?Copy !req
94. You know what?
It's your first time.Copy !req
95. Let's split the office.Copy !req
96. You can have sales,
the annex, creed.Copy !req
97. And I don't know,
I'll just take, uh...Copy !req
98. - Accounting.
- That's it?Copy !req
99. Yeah, well, okay.
Thanks, Darryl.Copy !req
100. Okay.
Great.Copy !req
101. All I need is Kevin.Copy !req
102. Dude buys more cookies
than everyone combined,Copy !req
103. and then some.Copy !req
104. When I first started
selling cookies,Copy !req
105. he was a relatively thin man.Copy !req
106. Not a thin man, mind you.
Relatively thin.Copy !req
107. Hey, Lucy, I'm home!Copy !req
108. Bobaloo!Copy !req
109. - Oh, here, let me help.
- I got it.Copy !req
110. It was so busy
at the store today.Copy !req
111. Really good cheese samples.
I had, like, a hundred.Copy !req
112. Irene hired me
as her live-in helper.Copy !req
113. We met at the store launch.Copy !req
114. I told her I was moving here
and I needed a place.Copy !req
115. And it just sort of made sense.Copy !req
116. I basically do
everything for her.Copy !req
117. I run errands,
I do chores around the house,Copy !req
118. I cook and clean.Copy !req
119. Honestly, I don't know how
she survived without me.Copy !req
120. When can I introduce you
to my grandson?Copy !req
121. He's a wonderful swimmer.Copy !req
122. Shallow end, deep end.
He does it all.Copy !req
123. Well, today might be
kind of tough, Irene.Copy !req
124. I have to talk
to my old boss AndyCopy !req
125. and tell him I'm staying
in Florida.Copy !req
126. Oh, what kind of tea is this?Copy !req
127. Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.Copy !req
128. - Oh.
- Ah!Copy !req
129. In england, they put the holesCopy !req
130. a little bit to the right,
you see?Copy !req
131. We'll just chalk it up
to cultural bias.Copy !req
132. If I may...Copy !req
133. Try holding the putter...Copy !req
134. Here.Copy !req
135. With your wrists here,Copy !req
136. your thumbs here.Copy !req
137. - Oh.
- That's right.Copy !req
138. Your little finger.Copy !req
139. Would you like to buy
some cookies?Copy !req
140. - Cookies, eh?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
141. It's not
a scratch and sniff, Kev.Copy !req
142. I know.Copy !req
143. But sometimes you still
get a little something.Copy !req
144. Hey, you tricked me.
You just wanted Kevin.Copy !req
145. You're new to the game.
You learned a lesson today.Copy !req
146. - See you next year, sport.
- No, no, no. It's not fair.Copy !req
147. What if Kevin wants to buy
cookies from me?Copy !req
148. - I do.
- See?Copy !req
149. That doesn't mean anything.Copy !req
150. Kevin, do you wanna
buy cookies from me?Copy !req
151. Oh, I definitely do.Copy !req
152. Huh.
Hit the road, Jack.Copy !req
153. No, you hit the road, Jack.Copy !req
154. Hey, guys, come on.
Don't fight over me.Copy !req
155. Why don't we split the order?Copy !req
156. It's only fair.Copy !req
157. No, wait, no.
I'm buying, I make the rules.Copy !req
158. I actually do want you
to fight over me.Copy !req
159. I wanna be wined and dined
and... sixty-nined.Copy !req
160. Ugh.Copy !req
161. Metaphorically
sixty-nined.Copy !req
162. Ew! Perverts.Copy !req
163. No offense, Oscar.Copy !req
164. Hop in.
We have places to be.Copy !req
165. No rest for the wicked.
Ha ha.Copy !req
166. All right.
So...Copy !req
167. I guess this is it.Copy !req
168. Well, Jim, I just wanna sayCopy !req
169. that we haven't always
gotten along.Copy !req
170. And at times,
I've even hated your guts.Copy !req
171. But...Copy !req
172. Bye-bye.
I win.Copy !req
173. - Good-bye, Dwight.Copy !req
174. Robert! Race you
to the clubhouse.Copy !req
175. Gentlemen's bet.
Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
176. Well, he's Florida's
problem now.Copy !req
177. Oh, let Dwight have his fun.Copy !req
178. - Today will not be his day.
- What's that?Copy !req
179. I'm gonna tank the Sabre storeCopy !req
180. at the presentation
to the board.Copy !req
181. I thought you liked the store.Copy !req
182. The store is lovely.Copy !req
183. You created a wonderful space
to showcase our product line.Copy !req
184. Great job!
Cheers.Copy !req
185. Thank you.Copy !req
186. But there's a reason
we sell our products onlineCopy !req
187. and over the phone.Copy !req
188. Have you ever used Sabre
electronics, Jim?Copy !req
189. They're cheap.
They're unintuitive.Copy !req
190. The Sabre store would work
if we adopted the carnival modelCopy !req
191. of leaving town
once everyone's wise to us.Copy !req
192. Wow, when you put it that way,Copy !req
193. I guess it does sound
pretty terrible.Copy !req
194. I couldn't just kill
the project from the start.Copy !req
195. Jo Bennett endorsed it.Copy !req
196. Shame, though—
I did like Dwight.Copy !req
197. Robert!
I'm gonna win!Copy !req
198. Ha ha, I'm the gentleman!
Suck it!Copy !req
199. Bravo, Dwight.
Very good.Copy !req
200. Shame.Copy !req
201. The math is simple, folks.Copy !req
202. Deeper market penetration,
plus greater visibility,Copy !req
203. - will raise Sabre...
- To the power of two.Copy !req
204. How did that look?Copy !req
205. I'm not just saying this.Copy !req
206. That was the best thing
I've ever seen.Copy !req
207. Told you.Copy !req
208. When you guys do that whole
"power of two" shebang,Copy !req
209. how about I pop up also?Copy !req
210. I guess we'd have to say
"power of three."Copy !req
211. Hmm, actually, you know what?
Yeah! That actually works.Copy !req
212. You'd spin-off right,
I'd spin off—Copy !req
213. You know what?
That is a great idea.Copy !req
214. Cathy, write that down
and print it out.Copy !req
215. It's gonna make some really
good toilet paper.Copy !req
216. All right.
There he is.Copy !req
217. What are you doing here?
I thought I got rid of you.Copy !req
218. Can I just talk to you
for one quick second?Copy !req
219. What, your stylist ran out
of messy spray?Copy !req
220. Um, actually
it's for your own good.Copy !req
221. I think we should—Copy !req
222. You wanna do something
for my own good?Copy !req
223. Turn around,
walk out that door,Copy !req
224. do not stop till you get
to Scranton,Copy !req
225. find my cell phone charger,
mail it back to me,Copy !req
226. and then go to hell!Copy !req
227. Nice!Copy !req
228. Hey, Halpert,
anyone ever tell youCopy !req
229. you look like Wooly Willie?Copy !req
230. Silence.Copy !req
231. I'm just trying—Copy !req
232. I know what you're
trying to do.Copy !req
233. I don't want it.Copy !req
234. But your face does look like
the guy from "Operation."Copy !req
235. It's the same guy.Copy !req
236. - That's the joke I made.
- That's not—Copy !req
237. - Different guy.
- You know what?Copy !req
238. I just think
you should know—Copy !req
239. That you look like
the world's tallest hobbit.Copy !req
240. Well, I tried.
You saw it.Copy !req
241. So it's on the record.
I have a plane to catch.Copy !req
242. Can you help me?Copy !req
243. I'm trying to make
a video chat with Andy.Copy !req
244. Just open the program
and type in his username.Copy !req
245. Can you just do it?Copy !req
246. Here, type in your password.Copy !req
247. Erin123.Copy !req
248. That's a terrible password.Copy !req
249. And you don't "make a video
chat"-- You "video chat."Copy !req
250. All right!Copy !req
251. Hello!Copy !req
252. That's so weird.Copy !req
253. There's something wrong
with my laptop.Copy !req
254. Oh! I fixed it.Copy !req
255. Oh! Now mine's broken.
Hang on.Copy !req
256. Oh, there we go.Copy !req
257. Aghh!Copy !req
258. He said "I did like Dwight"?Copy !req
259. He's gonna fire him.Copy !req
260. No, no, I think it was more
like, you know,Copy !req
261. "I liked him,
but I don't any more,Copy !req
262. 'cause he did a bad job.Copy !req
263. So I'm definitely
gonna yell at him."Copy !req
264. Robert doesn't talk like that.Copy !req
265. You have to stop Dwight
from doing this.Copy !req
266. I tried.
He will not listen.Copy !req
267. Did you actually
try your hardest?Copy !req
268. Yes.Copy !req
269. My pretty hardest.Copy !req
270. Look, you haven't dealt with him
in a while, all right?Copy !req
271. He's like Super Dwight.Copy !req
272. It's like he's been bitten
by a radioactive Dwight or som—Copy !req
273. - Stanley, back me up.
- Don't talk to me.Copy !req
274. Stanley's very upset
that we're leaving Florida.Copy !req
275. But he would back me up.Copy !req
276. If Dwight's about to get fired,Copy !req
277. you have to tell him.Copy !req
278. Just get the words out,
that's all you can do.Copy !req
279. Okay.
All right.Copy !req
280. What's a skinny guy
like Toby know about cookies?Copy !req
281. You can't trust him to
understand the wants and needsCopy !req
282. of the thick man.Copy !req
283. Maybe Toby from two years ago.Copy !req
284. - Yeah.
- That's true.Copy !req
285. If I have a question
about my cookies at midnight,Copy !req
286. who am I gonna call?
Darryl.Copy !req
287. Toby's probably in bed
with some model.Copy !req
288. Thank you.Copy !req
289. I'm not gonna comment
on my personal life.Copy !req
290. Look, I need this.Copy !req
291. Your daughter is
a pretty little girl.Copy !req
292. Let her go door to door.Copy !req
293. You think people are gonna
buy cookies from my...Copy !req
294. Chubby daughter?Copy !req
295. Baby, if you're watching this,
you're not chubby.Copy !req
296. You're beautiful.Copy !req
297. Daddy's just gotta sell
some cookies.Copy !req
298. And we're also gonna
exercise more.Copy !req
299. It's gonna be fun.Copy !req
300. Oh, you know what you have
to do to decide?Copy !req
301. You need to make them
do things for you.Copy !req
302. And, like, buy you things.Copy !req
303. Or have them sing that songCopy !req
304. that the frog does
in Looney Tunes.Copy !req
305. Make them kiss each other.Copy !req
306. Make them kiss me!Copy !req
307. Eww.Copy !req
308. Yes! This is too tan.
This right here.Copy !req
309. - No!
- This is a tan spot.Copy !req
310. I don't buy it.
That is a freckle.Copy !req
311. That is not a tan.Copy !req
312. I'm gonna have to inspect it in
person when you get back here.Copy !req
313. I want you looking
totally puertoriquenaCopy !req
314. when I see you.Copy !req
315. Well, Andy,
I'm not coming back.Copy !req
316. - What?
- I have a job here.Copy !req
317. I work for an old lady.Copy !req
318. Hello!Copy !req
319. Andy?Copy !req
320. Yeah, that's awesome.
That's great.Copy !req
321. This is tough.Copy !req
322. 'Cause Darryl, you sang better
and you dance better.Copy !req
323. But Toby has
that indescribable qualityCopy !req
324. that makes a star.Copy !req
325. I think I've reached
my decision.Copy !req
326. I have decided...Copy !req
327. That you guys are gonna
keep doing things for me.Copy !req
328. No, no, no.
It's not worth it.Copy !req
329. - No.
- No, it's not worth it?Copy !req
330. That's too bad.Copy !req
331. 'Cause I was feeling
particularly hungry this year.Copy !req
332. Yeah, okay, so what—
You'll buy 40 boxes?Copy !req
333. Hungrier.Copy !req
334. 50?Copy !req
335. Hungrier.Copy !req
336. You're not talking...Copy !req
337. Triple digits.Copy !req
338. Oh, yeah, I'm talking
triple digits.Copy !req
339. Again.Copy !req
340. Showtime.Copy !req
341. - Dwight.
- You again?Copy !req
342. Gosh, I keep throwing you away,
you keep flying back.Copy !req
343. You're like
an amish return-stick.Copy !req
344. Okay, great, listen to me.
No, no, I know.Copy !req
345. Will you just let me tell you
one thing, please?Copy !req
346. Yes, you may tell me one thing.Copy !req
347. Great!Copy !req
348. Wait, do you wanna
borrow money?Copy !req
349. Listen to me.Copy !req
350. Robert is going to veto
the Sabre store.Copy !req
351. Jim, come on.Copy !req
352. Dwight, he's gonna kill
the store.Copy !req
353. - Mm-hmm.
- And then I'm pretty sureCopy !req
354. he's gonna fire you for it.Copy !req
355. Wait, he's gonna kill
the store,Copy !req
356. - and he's gonna fire me.
- Yes.Copy !req
357. - That's two things.
- Dwight, please.Copy !req
358. Nice try, Jim.Copy !req
359. Your pranks have never worked
in the past,Copy !req
360. and they're not gonna work
today.Copy !req
361. Okay, first of all,
they've mostly worked.Copy !req
362. You know what, you might
wanna get to the airport.Copy !req
363. It's gonna take you a long time
to get through securityCopy !req
364. with all those beauty products.Copy !req
365. - Bye!
- Dwight, come—Copy !req
366. Nothing is gonna stop me.Copy !req
367. That is the mark
of a great man—Copy !req
368. Unstoppability.Copy !req
369. Dunder Mifflin...
the farm, Mose.Copy !req
370. All those things.Copy !req
371. Vanish in my rearview mirror.Copy !req
372. Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a date with destiny.Copy !req
373. And from what I hear,
she's a— Oh!Copy !req
374. - Help!
- Shut up.Copy !req
375. Oh, gross!
Don't lick my hand!Copy !req
376. God, why is there
so much saliva?Copy !req
377. All I had to do
was think about pie,Copy !req
378. and my salivary glands
did the rest.Copy !req
379. - Nah!
- What, what, what, what?Copy !req
380. - Oh, my appendix.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
381. - My wound hasn't healed yet.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
382. - Oh, man.
- I'm so sorry, I forgot.Copy !req
383. Are you all right?Copy !req
384. Are you okay?Copy !req
385. Dwight!Copy !req
386. Where the hell is he?Copy !req
387. I cannot do this without him.Copy !req
388. I don't know.
He's not picking up.Copy !req
389. Oh, look like shnoot's
a no-show.Copy !req
390. Guess he wasn't Vice President
material after all.Copy !req
391. But I am.
Put me in, babe.Copy !req
392. I've got the info down
backwards, forwards,Copy !req
393. and doggy-style.Copy !req
394. I'm your man.Copy !req
395. Right, let's begin then.Copy !req
396. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
397. allow me to introduce the Vice
President of Sabre retail—Copy !req
398. Mr. Todd Packer.Copy !req
399. 'Sup?Copy !req
400. What are you doing?Copy !req
401. Oh, I'm just dealing
with Erin's stuffCopy !req
402. since apparently
she's not coming backCopy !req
403. and she didn't bother
to tell anyone.Copy !req
404. We knew.
Ryan told us.Copy !req
405. Ryan, why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
406. Thought you checked my Tumblr.Copy !req
407. You never update it.Copy !req
408. Well, I updated it.Copy !req
409. Does anyone else
think this is weird?Copy !req
410. And, like,
kind of uncool, actually?Copy !req
411. To leave us
without a receptionist?Copy !req
412. We'll find another
receptionist.Copy !req
413. I mean, that's easy.
We'll be fine.Copy !req
414. Hup, hup, hup!Copy !req
415. What are you doing?Copy !req
416. - I was trying to go—
- Get up, get up.Copy !req
417. Okay, okay!Copy !req
418. All right?
I'm not gonna let you by.Copy !req
419. Then you know what?Copy !req
420. I'm gonna just have to run
right through you.Copy !req
421. Okay.Copy !req
422. What are you doing?Copy !req
423. Are you really revving up?
You know that doesn't work.Copy !req
424. Jackie chan!Copy !req
425. Go.Copy !req
426. Hi, this is Alex.Copy !req
427. And this is Sam.Copy !req
428. Kevin can't come
to the phone right nowCopy !req
429. because he's busy...
With us.Copy !req
430. Perfect!Copy !req
431. Now people will think
I'm doing hot girls all day.Copy !req
432. I don't know, man, they might
think we're drag queens.Copy !req
433. Yeah, I don't know why
you picked namesCopy !req
434. that are also guys' names.Copy !req
435. Okay, now who do I ride
to the kitchen like a pony?Copy !req
436. Don't make me be your pony,
Kevin.Copy !req
437. - Forget it, man.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
438. I'm out.
So is Toby.Copy !req
439. This may be wrong,Copy !req
440. but there's a limit
to what I would do for my child.Copy !req
441. Yeah, I have my dignity too.Copy !req
442. I refuse to be
another man's horsey.Copy !req
443. No, guys! Stop!
You have to sell me cookies.Copy !req
444. I'll do anything!Copy !req
445. I'm even gonna kiss Meredith.Copy !req
446. That's what—Copy !req
447. That is—
Hmm.Copy !req
448. That's... so good.Copy !req
449. What are you doing?
No!Copy !req
450. - No, no, no!
- This will end now.Copy !req
451. - No! This is dangerous.
- Thunderslam!Copy !req
452. - Arrgh!
- Oh!Copy !req
453. Anything else you need
to talk about?Copy !req
454. Nope.
That was it.Copy !req
455. Once again, it's showtime.Copy !req
456. What baffles me
is how you couldCopy !req
457. take a perfectly good idea,Copy !req
458. which the great Jo Bennett
rightfully signed off on,Copy !req
459. and then utterly botch it
in execution.Copy !req
460. If I may speak to that,Copy !req
461. I have only been Vice President
of this projectCopy !req
462. for the last half hour.Copy !req
463. So the man you want
is Dwight Schrute.Copy !req
464. I don't see Dwight.Copy !req
465. He clearly had
the infinite wisdomCopy !req
466. to stay as far away from
this clown show as possible.Copy !req
467. Whatever you do...Copy !req
468. Do not blame Todd packer.Copy !req
469. It is not his fault.Copy !req
470. Blame his upbringing,
his parents.Copy !req
471. The society that would mold
this idiotic creature.Copy !req
472. Fire the employee, yes.
But not the man.Copy !req
473. You may not cancel his soul.Copy !req
474. That was never on the table.Copy !req
475. Are you kidding?Copy !req
476. She's the queen of the whole
friggin' magilla!Copy !req
477. And yet, Todd,
it's you who's fired.Copy !req
478. What—
I can't get fired.Copy !req
479. I'm an institution.Copy !req
480. I have been at this company
for 20 years.Copy !req
481. How many of you have been here
that long, huh?Copy !req
482. Hey, hey!
They're back.Copy !req
483. Hey! Wait, Dwight,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
484. I thought you were supposed
to be in Florida.Copy !req
485. Yeah, the crazy thing
about thatCopy !req
486. is, um—
Wow, you look great.Copy !req
487. - Did you lose some weight?
- Thank you.Copy !req
488. For someone who actually
notices this.Copy !req
489. No, I didn't lose weight,
but I started using my make upCopy !req
490. to contour my face
to look skinnier.Copy !req
491. Actually...Copy !req
492. - Hey, good to have you back.
- Good to be back.Copy !req
493. - Hey, stranger!
- Hey!Copy !req
494. - Oh, I missed you.
- I missed you.Copy !req
495. I'm going to Florida to get Erin.Copy !req
496. I forgot to turn off my email.Copy !req
497. It's crazy, right? It's just,
when she said she was leaving...Copy !req
498. I thought...Copy !req
499. You're about to close four tabs,
are you sure you want to continue? Yes.Copy !req
500. I am sure.Copy !req
501. Ahh! Slow computer!Copy !req