Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x1

Directed by

Jack Black as Trapper JB (voice) • Kyle Gass as Trapper Kyle (voice) • Bob Odenkirk as Mike Foxx / Mysterious Drifter (voice) • David Pires as Roy Teppert (voice) • Mark Womack as Kid Caught in Bear Trap (voice)

Tom and The Mayor are worried about the safety of Jefferton's children, so they decide to buy thousands of Bear Traps to place all around the city to keep strangers away from the children.

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!req Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x1 [02:32]
!req Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x1 [Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x1]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Jefferton alive.

2. Hi. I'm the Mayor, and my door is always open for you!

3. Jefferton alive.

4. My name is Tom Peters, and I'm full of ideas.

5. Community spirit!

6. Hi. How are you?

7. Shopping!

8. Food!

9. Free to be, being free.

10. Jefferton alive.

11. Jefferton alive.

12. Excuse me.

13. Hi. Hello.

14. I'm here to see the Mayor.

15. I've been waiting here a while. I just wanted to check in on the...

16. Well, he's in an important meeting right now.

17. He'll be with you in a bit.

18. Great. Thank you very much.

19. My name is Mike Foxx

20. and I've lost 13 of my own children...

21. Four to wind poisoning...

22. Two to sand rash...

23. Five to deadly crickets,

24. and at least 6 to a mysterious drifter

25. who looks and sounds like this guy.

26. This is the sound of my voice.

27. Oh, no.

28. One minute now.

29. Child safety has to be your number one priority.

30. Of course.

31. And remember parents, only you and me

32. can scare children safe.

33. Oh, boy.

34. Hello?

35. Hello? Mayor's office. How can I help you?

36. Well, my name is Tom Peters.

37. Hello, Tom.

38. Can I come in?

39. Come on in.

40. OK, well, I'm an entrepreneur,

41. and I just moved to Jefferton county.

42. Great. Wonderful news, Tom. Welcome.

43. Yeah, I just moved here from Springerton

44. with my wife Joy and our three boys.

45. That's great.

46. Tom, my fingers are crossed here.

47. I'm really hoping you have some pictures of that beautiful family.

48. Sure. Let me see here. Hold on.

49. Here we go. Here's a shot of Jared, James

50. that's Ma, and my better half Joy

51. at Life Challenges Sunflower Camp.

52. That's about two years ago.

53. Tom, that looks like a lot of fun.

54. - And look at those boys. - OK.

55. They look just like you.

56. Well, they're not actually mine.

57. They're from Joy's previous marriage, but...

58. You know, I...

59. How do you... how do you mean?

60. Well, they're just my step kids.

61. They're Joy's, not mine,

62. but I treat them like my own in a lot of ways, you know?

63. - I just... - I see.

64. Well, great, Tom. Thanks for stopping in. I really appreciate it.

65. I'm sorry. I'm actually here

66. I had just an idea that I wanted to run past you

67. about our children's safety.

68. That's interesting, Tom. I just had a meeting with my TV about that.

69. Let me hear your thoughts.

70. Well, child safety, right?

71. The... the first and last step

72. is to establish a high perimeter

73. surrounding our, you know, parks and zoos,

74. and nurseries and daycare centers...

75. Bear traps.

76. OK.

77. You're talking about using bear traps to surround these safe zones, right?

78. - I love it. - Well, no...

79. You sold me on this idea.

80. Oh, that

81. I'm going to show you an old Mayor's trick.

82. Do me a favor, Tom.

83. Use your arm to hold that phone up to this ear.

84. - Like this? - Sure.

85. - JB's Trap Shop. - Trap Haus. Kyle speaking.

86. It's your Mayor.

87. - Mayor! - Hello, Mayor.

88. As you know, Jefferton is in a serious crisis

89. concerning child safety.

90. - OK. - Right.

91. Do you know the good doctor Tom Peters?

92. - No. - Perfect.

93. We need you to install thousands of bear traps all over town.

94. We're talking nursery schools, children's hospitals, petting zoos.

95. Great. You know what, Mayor? Frankly, I'm relieved.

96. And to tell you the truth

97. I'm a little bit amazed too, because you're such a...

98. - Hello? - You know

99. to know to call me forth is.

100. - Mr. Mayor? - Here's the breakdown.

101. We're going to need at least 10, 000 of your finest traps.

102. Whatever it takes to keep those kids safe, OK?

103. - Sure. - Can you handle that load?

104. Can I handle... Can I handle the load?

105. Let me think about how to answer that properly.

106. Absolutely.

107. I'm looking at my stock right now. No problem.

108. Great. So we can start production...

109. Can I just add one thing?

110. My traps are handmade, custom designed

111. no snap-back, thank you very much.

112. You know what? My C-13 Heisners are typically self-lubricated.

113. But I...

114. Can I? Will I? Should I?

115. I tell you what. I'll throw in the old JB double lube.

116. You're not going to need it, but what the hell. No era charge.

117. Wonderful. Dr. Tom Peters will be in touch with you about your performance.

118. Good luck to you.

119. - OK. Bye now. - Good-bye!

120. - I heard your phone ring. - Yeah, I just got a huge order.

121. Oh, really? That's crazy. I did too.

122. Good for you, man. God, that's...

123. Well, it's about time. I'm happy for you.

124. I'm happy for me, but I am overwhelmed with joy for you.

125. No, no.

126. Well, it's nothing special for me, but it's amazing for you.

127. Good for you, my friend. You deserve it.

128. - No, it's great for you. - I think it's so much better for you.

129. City Council will not like this one bit.

130. They've been buggers about this in the past.

131. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to present this idea

132. at our weekly Council Meeting down at Gulliver's.

133. About this presentation you want me to do. Do you want me

134. - I'm not really prepared... - Great.

135. Great.

136. Now, you can easily see, how important this new Mayor's Hat is

137. to the entire township, and to me.

138. Thank you very much.

139. Now I'd like to turn the floor over to my good friend Tom Peters.

140. Tom's a real astronaut, not like last week's imposter.

141. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tom Peters!

142. All right, thank you.

143. Could you turn the music

144. I'll wait for the music...

145. Well, I just want to start with

146. I'm not an astronaut, I'm sorry to say.

147. Great!

148. Right.

149. Well, if I could just start this presentation here.

150. Just make sure it's on.

151. You're not our dad.

152. I'm sorry about that.

153. That was the wrong file, obviously.

154. Shoot. OK, settle...

155. OK, here we go.

156. Bear traps, all right?

157. Well, basically I've done a lot of research,

158. and we think that the best way to protect our youngest citizens

159. in Jefferton, here, is to

160. surround them with bear traps.

161. Wonderful, Tom. Wonderful.

162. It's basically for their protection,

163. so I don't know why you wouldn't want to do that.

164. Of course, obviously, there's a little bit of risk, so...

165. Actually, a lot, a tremendous amount of risk.

166. I... I hate to say it, but I will guarantee

167. that a number of kids will be injured, or possibly

168. killed in the project.

169. Thank you.

170. Nice work, Tom.

171. All right.

172. I just feel really uncomfortable about the whole idea in general.

173. I don't know if it's something we want to...

174. Can I just jump in here with an idea?

175. Pick up at another date.

176. Absolutely. We're going to have to test it. Maybe creating a test committee.

177. I don't think it's going very well.

178. Tom, have you tried Gulliver's spaghetti?

179. What?

180. You know, it's the red pasta the Italians call spaghetti.

181. They serve it with marinara.

182. No. I... I should try it, I guess. I just...

183. Oh, no.

184. I don't think they're going for it.

185. We really have to win them over.

186. Tom, I have one more ace up my sleeve.

187. What's your background in theatrical arts?

188. Well, like plays and st...

189. Sure. I mean, I did a little stuff in high school

190. some community theater work.

191. - I could direct. - Perfect.

192. Traps all day and traps all night.

193. Traps can snap and rip and bite.

194. Put a bear trap here, put a bear trap there.

195. Traps can go most everywhere.

196. Traps all day and traps all night.

197. Me love traps with all my might.

198. You can set it and forget it But don't ever let it get you in the arm.

199. It happened long ago Careful with that trap in tow.

200. You know, traps are real and forged in steel.

201. Pappy taught me on the trapping wheel.

202. These bear traps

203. she be my master.

204. They clink and clank like a stab from a shank.

205. Suddenly, there hence a stank.

206. It was I.

207. What a disaster.

208. Child safety is our code.

209. Put some bear traps in the road.

210. Never shall we fear or fight.

211. We guarantee they'll snap real tight.

212. Well, you must admit that it's a real man's trade.

213. We'll admit that it's a real man's trade.

214. OK, cue the balloons.

215. It's a real man's trade.

216. We'll admit that it's a real man's trade.

217. Admit it's a fair trade.

218. Hello? Hello? Focus!

219. Television set! It's me, Mike Foxx.

220. Thanks to your courageous Mayor, your children are no longer in danger.

221. Now please join me in welcoming him to the stage.

222. OK, Roy, thank you.

223. OK, Roy.

224. No, you don't have to shut it off. Just turn the volume down a little bit.

225. Citizens of Jefferton, we are blessed.

226. This is the dawn of a new and safer Jefferton.

227. With the help of the Bear Trap Brothers

228. we've placed over 20, 000 traps around town

229. making it the largest concentration of traps in the region.

230. I have to say, none of you would be here tonight

231. if it weren't for Jefferton's own Tom Peters!

232. Thank you.

233. Tom, on behalf of the entire County and surrounding township

234. it gives me great pleasure in presenting you with the key to the city.

235. My stepson! No!

236. Mom! Mom!

237. Mama!

238. Thank you all for coming.

239. Mom, my leg!

240. Safe at last.

241. - Bull's-eye! - Yeah!