Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x4

Directed by

Jeff Goldblum as Bill Joel (voice) • Bob Odenkirk as Commercial Announcer (voice)

At the request of The Mayor, Tom weds all the dogs in town.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - HI.

2. I'M THE MAYOR,

3. AND MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOU!

4. - MY NAME IS TOM PETERS, AND I'M FULL OF IDEAS.

5. - HI. HOW ARE YOU?

6. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

7. - AND NOW A SPECIAL MESSAGE

8. FROM CHANNEL 5's MARRIED NEWS TEAM.

9. - HI. I'M MARRIED NEWS TEAM ANCHOR JAN SKYLAR.

10. - AND I'M COANCHOR WAYNE SKYLAR.

11. - WON'T YOU JOIN US THIS SATURDAY

12. FOR JEFFERTON'S ANNUAL TOODLE DAY CELEBRATION?

13. - TOODLE DAY,

14. WHERE THE MAYOR MARRIES ALL THE TOWN'S DOGS TOGETHER.

15. JEFFERTON IS THE ONLY TOWN THAT PERFORMS

16. THIS JOYOUS AND LEGALLY BINDING CEREMONY.

17. IT'S FUN FOR KIDS OF ALL AGES,

18. SO GET THERE EARLY FOR FREE FACE PAINTING

19. AND A MAGIC SHOW BEFORE THE CEREMONIES.

20. - THIS REPORTER'S GOTTEN WORD

21. THAT THE MAYOR HAS A SPECIAL SURPRISE IN STORE.

22. - OH, ALL RIGHT.

23. NOW, EXACTLY WHAT IS THIS SPECIAL SURPRISE

24. YOU MENTIONED THERE?

25. - GENTLEMEN, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

26. AS YOU KNOW,

27. THERE IS A SURPRISINGLY HIGH RATE OF DIVORCE

28. AMONG THESE DOGS MARRIED

29. DURING PAST TOODLE DAY CEREMONIES.

30. MY VISION IS TO UNITE THE RIGHT PUP TOGETHER

31. FROM THE GET GO.

32. YOU DO THIS BY GETTING A SPECIAL DOG

33. TO ACT AS THE MATCHMAKER AND HEAD USHER FOR TOODLE DAY.

34. - YOU MEAN, LIKE A REAL LIVE ANIMAL?

35. - OF COURSE.

36. THIS PUP WILL DETERMINE

37. WHICH LADY DOG IS BEST SUITED FOR WHICH MAN DOG.

38. HE'LL BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH VARIOUS BREEDS, TEMPERAMENT,

39. AND COMPREHEND COMPLEX SEATING CHARTS.

40. - SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED SOME KIND OF SUPERNATURAL DOG.

41. - NOT TO MENTION YOU'D NEED A HIGHLY SKILLED,

42. WORLD-CLASS DOG TRAINER.

43. - YEAH, FROM MARS.

44. I BELIEVE HE'S SERIOUS.

45. - OK. RIGHT.

46. RIGHT OVER HERE...

47. - KNOCK, KNOCK. HELLO?

48. - HELLO. MAYOR'S OFFICE. HOW CAN I HELP?

49. - UH, IT'S TOM PETERS.

50. - HELLO, TOM.

51. - CAN I COME IN?

52. - COME ON IN.

53. - OH, GREAT. UM...

54. - PUT MY FACE RIGHT HERE. OH, THAT'S GOOD.

55. - I'M SORRY. DID I CATCH YOU AT A BAD TIME, OR...

56. - NO, NO.

57. OH, THIS IS LOOKING GREAT.

58. THIS IS GONNA LOOK REAL GOOD.

59. HA HA!

60. - ALL RIGHT.

61. WELL, AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW,

62. MY WIFE JOY IS RUNNING FOR TOWN WEBMASTER THIS YEAR...

63. - OH, HI!

64. ER, VOTE FOR ME! ER...

65. - RIGHT.

66. - AND SHE SELECTED ME TO BE HER CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

67. SO I GOT THAT HAPPENING,

68. AND SHUFFLING A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT NOW,

69. BUT MAINLY I JUST WANTED TO GET YOUR ENDORSEMENT.

70. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

71. MY ENDORSEMENT?

72. YOU MEAN MY JAN HANCOCK?

73. COME ON, GUY. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

74. PLUS, I'M PRETTY DISCRIMINATING ABOUT WHAT I SIGN.

75. - I HAD NO IDEA. THAT'S WHY I CAME IN, SO...

76. - WELL, AND THAT'S WHY I MADE A STAMP.

77. - OH. WELL, THEN, I'LL JUST GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR.

78. - GREAT, TOM. WELL, IT WAS NICE SEEING YOU.

79. - OH!

80. - WAIT A MINUTE, TOM. I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

81. WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH DOGS?

82. - WELL, MINIMAL. HA HA!

83. I MEAN, MY UNCLE HAD A DUTCH SHEPHERD I WAS FOND OF.

84. HE HAD A TEMPER WITH ME, THOUGH.

85. - TOM, I'M LOOKING FOR A MAN

86. THAT HAS THE ABILITY TO TRAIN A SPECIAL DOG

87. TO BECOME THE MATCHMAKER AND HEAD USHER

88. FOR THIS YEAR'S TOODLE DAY.

89. - I SUPPOSE I COULD DO A LITTLE RESEARCH FOR YOU.

90. - TOM, WILL YOU AND YOUR PUP DO IT?

91. - UH, WELL, SEE, I DON'T REALLY HAVE A DOG PER SE.

92. - WILL YOU AND YOUR PUP DO IT, TOM?

93. OH, A CUSTOMER! HELLO.

94. - AH!

95. THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE OPEN.

96. UH, IT'S TOM PETERS.

97. I'M IN A LITTLE BIT OF A PICKLE HERE.

98. UH, I NEED A DOG.

99. - HI, TOM. DOG? THAT'S WHAT WE GOT.

100. LOOK AT THIS BEHIND ME.

101. THAT'S A LOVELY DOG, ISN'T IT?

102. - WELL, IT HAS TO BE THIS SPECIAL DOG.

103. LET ME CHECK MY NOTES HERE.

104. WELL, FIRST OFF, IT HAS TO BE SINGLE.

105. - YOU MEAN, LIKE ONE DOG?

106. - NO, I'M SORRY.

107. LIKE, IT'S NOT MARRIED.

108. - MM-HMM.

109. UH, OK.

110. WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

111. - OH, HE'S CUTE.

112. UM, BUT IT SAYS HERE I'M LOOKING FOR ONE

113. THAT WOULD BE ABLE TO PAIR UP DOGS

114. BASED ON BREED AND, YOU KNOW, MUTUAL ATTRACTION,

115. UM, AND BE ABLE TO COMPREHEND A RATHER COMPLEX SEATING CHART.

116. - OK. OK.

117. UH, LET ME SEE. LET ME LOOK UP SOME...

118. UH...

119. I'M JUST LOOKING UP STUFF ABOUT THIS LOVELY DOG BEHIND ME.

120. UH, YES. YES.

121. UH, LET ME CHECK ONE MORE PLACE HERE.

122. OK, COUNT, YOU SAY; SINGLE,

123. AND YES, YES...

124. OH, THIS IS GREAT.

125. HE CAN DO ALL THOSE THINGS. PERFECT.

126. - OH, THIS IS GREAT. UM...

127. - WHAT DO YOU THINK?

128. - ARE YOU SURE HE CAN—AHEM— HANDLE ALL THAT?

129. - YES, YES, ABSOLUTELY.

130. - OK, STAMPS, WELL, WHAT I DID WAS,

131. I MADE THIS LITTLE MODEL FOR YOU TO PRACTICE WITH.

132. WE HAVE THE DOGS HERE AND THE SEATS HERE

133. SO YOU CAN WORK ON SEATING THEM.

134. AND UP FRONT IS WHERE THE MAYOR WILL ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, MARRY THE DOGS.

135. UH, WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO.

136. - COME ON, BOY.

137. - AGH! BILL JOEL, LOOKS LIKE YOU SOLD ME ANOTHER LEMON.

138. THIS IS GONNA BE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.

139. - OK, STAMPS, WELCOME TO CAMP.

140. YOU GOT TO PAY ATTENTION, PUP. LOOK UP HERE, BOY.

141. OK, IT'S ALL ABOUT FINDING THE PERFECT PARTNER.

142. - GOOD WORK. LET'S DO THIS. LET'S DO THIS!

143. NOW, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SCENT. WATCH ME.

144. THERE'S A WORLD OF INFORMATION IN HERE, STAMPS.

145. - LOOKING GOOD, TOM.

146. - LET THE SMELL GUIDE YOU TO YOUR DECISION.

147. - UH... UH...

148. - OK, STAMPS, YOUR TURN. WHO GOES WITH WHO?

149. - YES! YOU DID IT!

150. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO CELEBRATE.

151. OH, WHOOPS. OH! OHH!

152. AH, GROSS.

153. - JOY PETERS SAYS

154. SHE'LL UPDATE THE JEFFERTON WEB SITE DAILY,

155. AND SHE PROMISES TO HAVE A FLASHY DESIGN.

156. AREN'T YOU TIRED OF EMPTY PROMISES FROM A PROVEN LIAR?

157. IT'S TIME TO GET REAL.

158. - PAID FOR BY THE FRIENDS OF PAUL CHILDS JR.

159. - HEY, TOM.

160. - AAH! WHO'S THERE?

161. - IT'S JUST ME IN MY CHARIOT.

162. WHO'S THAT LITTLE STINKER?

163. - UH, THAT'S STAMPS.

164. - HELLO, STAMPS.

165. SO YOU'RE THE MATCHMAKER I'VE BEEN HEARING SO MUCH ABOUT.

166. GREAT TO MEET YOU.

167. COME HERE, BOY. COME ON, CHIP-CHIP.

168. OH, LET ME RUB THAT CHIN.

169. OH, OH, OHH...

170. SO, YOU'RE ALL READY?

171. - YEAH, I THINK SO.

172. YOU KNOW, IT TOOK A LOT OF WORK,

173. BUT I THINK STAMPS IS GONNA DO JUST FINE TOMORROW.

174. - GREAT. GREAT, TOM.

175. - UM, I JUST WANTED TO GO OVER THE ENDORSEMENT AGAIN WITH YOU.

176. - TOM, CAN WE JUST FOCUS ON THE CEREMONIES FOR A CHANGE?

177. - ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. IT'S THE BIG DAY.

178. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

179. DON'T LET ME DOWN.

180. - THE MAYOR'S HERE.

181. - HA HA HA! HI, CHILDREN.

182. HELLO, STAMPS.

183. - STAMPS, WATCH OUT FOR THE CHARIOT!

184. - OH, STAMPS!

185. - PUPPIES, CHIP-CHIPS, DOGGIES, SETTLE DOWN, NOW.

186. CITIZENS OF JEFFERTON, WELCOME TO TOODLE DAY.

187. PLEASE JOIN ME IN A WARM ROUND OF APPLAUSE

188. FOR THE OFFICIAL TOODLE DAY MATCHMAKER.

189. - OH, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

190. - LET THE CEREMONIES BEGIN!

191. - WHAT'S THAT MAN DOING?

192. I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DOG.

193. THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

194. OK, UH, DUTCH SHEPHERD AND, UH, YOU.

195. - IT'S A MATCH!

196. - UH, POODLE AND, UH...

197. BLACK LAB.

198. - WHAT A MATCH!

199. - WOW. HE'S GOOD.

200. - YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.

201. - NOW, I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU.

202. IT'S NOT ALWAYS GONNA BE THIS EASY.

203. THERE ARE PATHS YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHOOSE.

204. YOU GOT TO LEARN TO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOUR PARTNER.

205. IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOND AN ANIMAL CAN EXPERIENCE.

206. CHERISH IT.

207. GREAT WORK, TOM!

208. - OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

209. - UH, JUST GETTING SOMETHING IN MY EARPIECE.

210. OH. HA HA!

211. IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING SOME HILARIOUS BREAKING NEWS.

212. IT SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE HAS TAKEN TOODLE DAY TOO FAR.

213. - JUST IN.

214. LOOKS LIKE THE MAN IN THE PICTURE IS TOM PETERS,

215. WIFE OF JOY PETERS.

216. AND, JAN, AS YOU KNOW,

217. JOY IS IN A TOUGH RACE FOR THIS YEAR'S TOWN WEBMASTER.

218. - THAT CAN'T BE VERY GOOD, COMING SO CLOSE TO THE ELECTION.

219. - LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE INSTA-POLL.

220. - OH! WELL, WE DID IT.

221. - YEAH, I GUESS SO.

222. - NOW, TOM, YOU KNOW I WON'T BE ENDORSING YOUR WIFE

223. AS TOWN WEBMASTER.

224. - AH. I COULD APPRECIATE THAT.

225. - BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

226. I'M PROUD OF YOU, AND I'M PROUD OF US.

227. - I DON'T KNOW.

228. I FEEL LIKE I LET YOU DOWN AND JOY.

229. - TOM, DON'T YOU SEE?

230. YOU MADE SO MANY PUPS HAPPY TODAY.

231. YOU'RE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE UNION AND THE JOY

232. THAT THEY'LL HAVE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

233. YOU GAVE THEM THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL—LOVE.

234. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

235. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

236. —www.ncicap.org—

237. - BULL'S-EYE!

238. - YEAH!