Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x5

Directed by

Jeff Garlin as Pat Croce (voice) • Gregg Atwill as Bar Patron (voice) • Bob Odenkirk as Bartender / Crazy Pete / Tiny Tim (voice)

Tom creates a T-shirt that reads ""Rat's Off to Ya"" for Christmas. It becomes a big hit, but the idea is quickly stolen from Tom by a local novelty store.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

2. - UH, UH, HELLO?

3. - HELLO. MAYOR'S OFFICE.

4. - UM, HI. UM, MY NAME'S TOM PETERS.

5. - HELLO, TOM.

6. - UH, I JUST WANTED TO DROP OFF

7. MY APPLICATION FOR A KIOSK PERMIT.

8. - GREAT, TOM. PLEASE SIT DOWN.

9. HA HA! TOM, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SHIRT?

10. - OH, UH, THIS— - HA HA HA!

11. - OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT.

12. - OH, YEAH. - THIS IS MY DESIGN,

13. AND IT'S ACTUALLY WHAT I'M SELLING AT THE MALL.

14. - HA HA! RATS OFF TO YA!

15. OH, WOW!

16. TOM, DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT ON YOUR OWN?

17. - OH, YEAH. - HA HA HA!

18. - THANK—THANK YOU. - AHH.

19. - I HAD THIS IDEA FOR A WHILE NOW,

20. AND I WANTED TO DO IT ON-LINE—

21. WANTED TO SET UP AN ON-LINE STORE AND EVERYTHING, BUT—

22. - OHH...

23. AH HA HA!

24. RATS OFF—TOM, I'M SORRY.

25. I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO COVER THAT SHIRT.

26. - OH. I'M SORRY?

27. - UH, JUST TAKE A PIECE OF PAPER AND TAPE IT RIGHT ON THERE.

28. - ALL RIGHT. FAIR ENOUGH.

29. - UNH... AHH...

30. HA HA HA!

31. TOM, I CAN STILL SEE A LITTLE BIT OF THAT TAIL.

32. WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND KNEEL DOWN IN FRONT OF MY DESK THERE?

33. - OK. IS THAT BETTER? - OK. THAT'S FINE.

34. - OH, I'M JUST SO HONORED YOU LIKE IT.

35. YOU KNOW, I'M HOPING TO SELL A BUNCH OF THESE GUYS.

36. UH, I NEED TO MAKE SOME EXTRA MONEY

37. FOR THE BOYS' CHRISTMAS PRESENTS,

38. OTHERWISE, I'LL HAVE TO SELL MY BOAT.

39. - TOM, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A BOATSMAN.

40. - WELL, IT'S JUST A LITTLE 15-FOOTER.

41. - MMM. I CAN SEE IT IN MY MIND.

42. - OK.

43. - KEEP HEADING STRAIGHT. - I SMELL A BOAT.

44. - AHEM, UH, WELL, I'M NOT—

45. I'M NOT SURE WHY WE HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY.

46. - I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING WARMER.

47. - UM, IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

48. - OH, NICE. UH, UH, THERE IT IS!

49. HA HA! WONDERFUL.

50. - OH, THANKS.

51. - AHH HA!

52. OH, TOM. THAT SHIRT!

53. WOW. YOU'RE GONNA SELL A THOUSAND OF THESE GUYS.

54. LET'S GET THAT KIOSK STARTED RIGHT AWAY.

55. - ATTENTION. WILL TERRENCE WILLIAMS

56. AND STEVEN JEFFERTS PLEASE MEET DOWN...

57. - HA HA! OH, BOY!

58. HA HA HA! WHAT THE HECK?

59. OH, I LOVE IT!

60. "RATS OFF TO YA!" THESE THINGS ARE GREAT!

61. PAT CROECHE HERE, JESTERS MANAGER.

62. NEED ANYTHING, BUDDY?

63. - UH, NO. NO, THANKS.

64. - HERE. TAKE MY CARD.

65. WHO DOES YOUR INKING?

66. - UM, I ACTUALLY DID THIS BATCH MYSELF.

67. YOU KNOW, I JUST DREW ON THEM. - GREAT COTTON ON HERE, TOM!

68. I JUST LOVE THESE! HA HA HA!

69. "RATS OFF TO YA!" WOW!

70. - WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

71. - OH, HI, TOM.

72. I JUST STOPPED BY TO BRING YOU

73. THIS GIANT FLAVORED SODA.

74. - OH, WELL, I JUST HAD A BIG LEMONADE,

75. BUT I GUESS WORST-CASE SCENARIO, IN CASE I GET PARCHED—

76. - GREAT. HOW'S SALES?

77. - MMM, NOT SO GOOD.

78. - WELL, SIR, I WOULD LIKE TO BUY 100 OF THOSE "RATS OFF TO YA!" T-SHIRTS!

79. - OH, THANK YOU.

80. - TOM, THIS IS MAYOR'S FUN MONEY.

81. YOU COULD USE IT ANYWHERE.

82. UGH! NOW I GOTTA GO PLAY SANTA CLAUS THIS YEAR.

83. - OH, THAT'S A BUMMER.

84. - TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I LOVE IT.

85. CRICKETS...

86. HSS! AHH.

87. OH, I GOTTA PEE SO BAD! OOH!

88. OOH, GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO.

89. GOTTA GO.

90. HEL—HELLO? HI.

91. I'M SORRY. UH...

92. I WOULDN'T NORMALLY ASK YOU THIS,

93. BUT I REALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE MEN'S ROOM,

94. AND WOULD YOU MIND WATCHING MY STAND FOR A FEW MINUTES?

95. I'M SORRY. I'M JUST KIND OF NEW AT THIS.

96. - SURE, BUDDY. GO TAKE A BREAK.

97. GET SOME PIZZA OR GET ONE OF THOSE BIG CINNAMON ROLLS

98. ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY HEAD!

99. HA HA HA! THEY ARE SO MUCH FUN!

100. I'VE GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL HERE.

101. YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

102. - OH, THANKS. I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

103. - HEH HEH HEH. HA HA HA!

104. - WHAT THE HECK?

105. AW, CROECHE!

106. - AND I WANT A BALLOON MAN— - RIGHT.

107. - AND A TRAMPOLINE— - SURE.

108. - AND AN ACTION CAR. - TERRIFIC.

109. - BASKETBALL HOOP— - ABSOLUTELY.

110. - AND A NEW DOOR— - LISTEN, MR. MAYOR!

111. MR. MAYOR, I NEED—I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU FOR A MINUTE.

112. - ONE SECOND, LITTLE BOY. HOP UP HERE ON MY LAP.

113. - FAIR ENOUGH.

114. IT'S THE JESTERS STORE, MR. MAYOR.

115. THEY STOLE MY SHIRT— THE WHOLE "RATS OFF TO YA!" IDEA.

116. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. - HO HO HO!

117. CHRISTMAS IS THE SEASON OF HOPE AND JOY FOR ALL LITTLE BOYS.

118. YOU MUST SEARCH FOR THE MAGIC

119. AND TRUE MEANING OF THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

120. - ALL—ALL RIGHT. IN TERMS OF...

121. - HO HO HO!

122. - RATS. THIS IS GOING NOWHERE.

123. JEFF BRIDGES?

124. I DON'T NEED NO JEFF BRIDGES TO PUT MUSIC TO MY POEMS!

125. - ALL RIGHT.

126. DUE TO THE FACT THAT THERE ARE

127. SO MANY CHRISTMAS GRIEVANCES THIS YEAR,

128. WE'RE GOING TO FORM TWO GROUPS.

129. ALL THE PEOPLE WITH LEGITIMATE COMPLAINTS,

130. UH, WHY DON'T YOU START GROUP "A" OVER THERE?

131. AND LET'S SEE.

132. CRAZY PETE AND THE GUY WITH THE RAT SHIRT,

133. GO AHEAD AND START GROUP "B"...

134. OH, WHY DON'T YOU WAIT OUTSIDE?

135. - AND NOW, CHANNEL 5 NEWS AT 5:00,

136. WITH COANCHORS WAYNE SKYLAR AND JAN SKYLAR—

137. THE ONLY MARRIED NEWS TEAM IN THE TRI-COUNTY AREA.

138. - YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS TO ME.

139. - I CHERISH THE TIME WE HAVE TOGETHER.

140. - YOU ARE MY STARLIGHT AND MY MIRROR.

141. - TOGETHER, WE ARE PARTNERS FOR ETERNITY.

142. OUR LOVE FOR LOCAL NEWS CAN ONLY BE MATCHED

143. BY OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.

144. - AND NOW, THE NEWS. - RATS OFF TO YA, WAYNE.

145. - AND RATS OFF TO YA, JAN.

146. AND RATS OFF TO OUR ENTIRE VIEWERSHIP,

147. AS "RATS OFF TO YA" FEVER HAS TAKEN JEFFERTON BY SURPRISE.

148. - IT SEEMS EVERYONE NEEDS A "RATS OFF TO YA!" T-SHIRT,

149. A WRISTLET, AND A "RATS OFF" JESTER'S CAP.

150. HA HA! WE HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS FOR YEARS.

151. - AND REMEMBER,

152. YOU CAN GET YOUR OFFICIAL "RATS OFF TO YA!" MERCHANDISE

153. AT ANY JESTERS STORE LOCATION

154. THROUGHOUT THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON.

155. - YOU'VE GOT THE CHRISTMAS BLUES?

156. - UH, IT'S THIS WHOLE "RATS OFF TO YA!" THING.

157. - YEAH. IT'S PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?

158. - WELL, YEAH. IT'S JUST THAT I CAME UP WITH THE IDEA,

159. AND—AND NOW, JESTERS STOLE IT AND MAKING MILLIONS, AND...

160. - OH, YOU DID, DID YA? - YEAH.

161. - HA! WELL, I GOT A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FOR YOU.

162. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR "I CAME UP WITH THE T-SHIRT

163. AND JESTERS STOLE IT FROM ME" ATTITUDE

164. AND THE CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER

165. AND THE MEAN LOOK IN YOUR EYEBALL

166. AND THE SOUR LEMON VIBRATIONS,

167. AND WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT OUTSIDE?

168. 'CAUSE WE DON'T NEED THAT AT THIS TIME OF YEAR IN MY BAR!

169. - WHAT'S THE MATTER, MISTER?

170. - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, LITTLE BOY.

171. I'M SURE A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE OFF THAN I DO.

172. TELL YOU WHAT, HERE'S A COUPLE BUCKS TO HELP YOU OUT.

173. - I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY! UNH!

174. - AAH! AAH!

175. - "RATS OFF TO YA!"

176. - HMM. HUH.

177. WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BOAT BEFORE?

178. UH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.

179. YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW WHO THE OWNER OF THAT BOAT IS?

180. - UH, IT'S ME, TOM—TOM PETERS.

181. I SHOWED IT TO YOU A FEW DAYS AGO.

182. - HELLO, TOM. CAN I COME IN?

183. - COME ON IN.

184. - OH, IT'S REALLY NICE IN HERE, TOM.

185. - HMM. THANK YOU.

186. - LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT QUITE A CHRISTMAS LIST GOING THERE.

187. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO AFFORD

188. ALL THIS STUFF.

189. - WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT "RATS OFF TO YA!" MONEY?

190. - UH, DON'T YOU REMEMBER? JESTERS STOLE MY SHIRTS.

191. - OH. WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST MAKE ANOTHER T-SHIRT DESIGN?

192. - OH, I DON'T THINK SO. I DON'T...

193. - UH, OK. DA-DA-DA-DA.

194. SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-DA-DA.

195. TOM, I'VE GOT IT!

196. "HATS OFF TO YA!"

197. - GET—GET YOUR OFFICIAL "HATS OFF TO YA" SHIRTS!

198. "HATS OFF TO YA!"

199. HALF OFF!

200. GET YOUR "HATS OFF TO YA!" T-SHIRTS.

201. - HEY, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

202. - I KNOW.

203. - W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU DON'T GET IT?

204. IT'S A PUN OFF THE SHIRT "RATS OFF TO YA!"

205. YOU KNOW, MR. MAYOR, I DON'T THINK THIS IS WORKING.

206. NO OFFENSE. I THINK I'D RATHER JUST GO HOME

207. AND BE WITH MY FAMILY.

208. - HUSH NOW, TOM. LOOK!

209. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS VIDEO!

210. - OH, COME ON.

211. - SHOPPERS, THE MALL WILL BE CLOSING IN 15 MINUTES.

212. ALL "RATS OFF" MERCHANDISE HAS BEEN MARKED UP 50%.

213. THE MARK-UPS WILL CONTINUE 'TIL WE CLOSE.

214. RATS OFF TO YA!

215. - OH, SHIRT.

216. GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT THIS ON MY DISCOVERY CARD AGAIN.

217. CRICKETS!

218. - OH, LOOK AT THAT.

219. WELL, MAYBE IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, YOU KNOW?

220. "RATS OFF TO YA!" MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE REALLY HAPPY.

221. MAYBE THAT'S THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS.

222. - HEY, KIDS! LOOK AT ME!

223. - WHAT THE HECK?

224. - KIDS, CHECK THIS DANCE OUT!

225. - HA HA HA! - HEY, KIDS, "RATS OFF TO YA!"

226. HA HA HA!

227. - HEY, TOM! IT'S ME!

228. - HI. HOW ARE YOU?

229. - OH, TOM! HA HA HA!

230. - HEE HEE HEE!

231. - HA HA HA!

232. - NOW, THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT.

233. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

234. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

235. —www.ncicap.org—

236. - BULL'S-EYE!

237. - YEAH!