Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x10

Directed by

Greg Proops as Self • Adrienne Bailon-Houghton as Self

Guests: comic Greg Proops and talk show host Adrienne Houghton.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. (Drew) 'Good evening and welcome

2. to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

3. 'At tonight's show, too clever by half, Greg Proops.'

4. 'Too smart for his own good, Wayne Brady.'

5. 'Real smarty pants, Colin Mochrie.'

6. 'And Duh! Doy! Ryan Stiles.'

7. I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on, let's have some fun.

8. So... hey there.

9. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

10. "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", the show where everything

11. is made up, and the points don't matter.

12. The points are like Father's Day at Madonna's house.

13. What? Is she here? Shut up. Don't worry about it.

14. Uh, it's a lotta show tonight and everything's made up

15. of thoughts and what everybody says.

16. Based on audience suggestions, things written on these cards.

17. 'We're gonna get it rolling'

18. with a game called "Hollywood Directors."

19. This is for all four of you.

20. 'Greg, Ryan, and Wayne are gonna act out a film scene'

21. 'and Colin's gonna be the director.'

22. 'And he's gonna keep giving them different notes'

23. 'on how to improve the scene.'

24. The scene you're gonna act out is, Ryan is an Old West engineer

25. 'driving a train carrying gold bullion'

26. and Wayne is a, uh, a bandit riding up to rob it.

27. 'Greg is the whip-wielding southern owner of the train'

28. who comes in to save the day.

29. I don't know if I can be in a scene with whips. I don't know.

30. Let's see how it works. I'm sure nothing'll go wrong.

31. Ha ha ha ha.

32. (Drew) 'Don't worry about it.'

33. You're gonna give him the notes to improve the scene.

34. So, take it away, whenever you're ready.

35. Woo! Woo! Ssss!

36. Whoo! Stop the train!

37. Oww!

38. Stop the tra..

39. - Screech! - Aah!

40. Stop the train now, hombre.

41. It's stopped, partner.

42. Okay, muchacho.

43. What part of Holland are you from?

44. Mehico Holland.

45. Muchaho.

46. I suppose you want the money.

47. Right. Give me all the money.

48. It ain't on this train. It's on the train behind me.

49. This is the 431. You're looking for the 432.

50. Oh!

51. All we're carrying is croissants.

52. Hold on a god darn second.

53. Cr-rack!

54. Y-y'all fixing to rob this train?

55. Woosh-swoosh-woosh.

56. Whoo!

57. Way to go, sheriff.

58. - That's a— - Thanks so much.

59. That's some pretty impressive whip mime work.

60. Whoa!

61. - Cut, cut, cut! Cut! - What?

62. That stunk like a dead whale in a limburger factory.

63. - What? - Oh, man.

64. Don't you know what good acting is?

65. For God's sake, you've all made love to your wives.

66. That mime!

67. Alright.

68. - You know what? - Huh?

69. Hey, this has given me an idea.

70. Do it like a Hong Kong action film

71. where you're doing your own subtitles.

72. Do it.

73. Action.

74. Hooy! Hooy!

75. Woo! Woo!

76. Booyah!

77. Pffff.

78. Pull over. Stop the train.

79. You'll never get on this train.

80. You're crazy. I'm getting on the train now.

81. Scchk! Ah!

82. Haah!

83. Hey!

84. a god darn minute.

85. Crack.

86. Thank God you're here, sheriff.

87. Huh. There's not a man among you. I'm certain of that.

88. Wudi-wudi-wudi.

89. His guns. They are made of paper.

90. You are right. Goodbye. Sayonara.

91. Cut, cut, cut!

92. Crap.

93. Alright.

94. You know what, it needs a little... edge to it.

95. - That's what I was thinking. - Oh, shut up.

96. Do the scene with as much sexual innuendo as you can.

97. Action.

98. Woo. Woo.

99. Ssss.

100. Ssss.

101. Shake that a..

102. Whoo!

103. Stop that train.

104. Hey!

105. Ssss.

106. Freeze right there.

107. Those are pretty big guns you got there.

108. Hold on a minute.

109. Who's been a bad engineer?

110. - Cr-rack, cr-rack, cr-rack. - Ow, ow, ow.

111. Whoa.

112. You may be a robber, but you've stolen my heart.

113. - Everybody into the kaboose. - Hey!

114. Fabulous 1000 points for everybody

115. especially you, Colin.

116. Why, thank you, Drew.

117. 'Cause you know, you're the, you're the best director ever.

118. Gosh.

119. I gotta humor him 'cause he's bald.

120. (audience) 'Aww!'

121. Oh, man. Never make fun of the popular funny guy.

122. 'That's the thing. You should be careful.'

123. - Sorry, Colin. - That's alright.

124. Now. Let's go on to a game called " Colin."

125. Let's go on to a game called..

126. I don't wanna play that.

127. I do.

128. Let's go on to a game now called "Scenes From A Hat."

129. This is for all four of you. Greg, Wayne, Ryan and Colin

130. 'come forward to your positions, please.'

131. "Scenes From A Hat."

132. Before the show, we ask the audience to write down

133. suggestions for things, and one of them is

134. 'scenes they'd like to see me pull out of this hat.'

135. 'Starting with..'

136. "Bad times to be distracted by a beautiful woman."

137. Sweetheart, I would love you forever and a day.

138. And I love you..

139. Hey!

140. (Drew) 'Alright.'

141. "Making mundane instructions sound sexy."

142. There's two emergency exits.

143. There's two in the front..

144. and two in the rear.

145. Oh, yeah.

146. This next game's called Party Quirks.

147. Oh.

148. Party Quirks.

149. Ooh, I'm on fire. I guess, I better stop, drop, and roll.

150. "What President Bush does in the Oval Office

151. when he's all by himself."

152. Click. Woo-joo-joo. Shall we play a game?

153. Pip-pip-pup-pup- pip-pup-pup.

154. Ahem ahem.

155. Hello, is this Hillary Clinton?

156. Is your water running?

157. Ah, I'm so tired of this charade.

158. I can finally be myself.

159. Ah, Dickens. Oh, the encyclopedia.

160. Oh, the two of which I've loved all of my life.

161. - Mr. President. - Oh, yeah?

162. (Drew) 'Alright.'

163. "Things you can say about the food you eat

164. but not about your girlfriend."

165. Breasts, breasts, breasts. I'm sick of breasts.

166. Where are the thighs?

167. Mmm. Everything tastes better on a Ritz.

168. Ha ha ha ha.

169. These pies are incredibly small.

170. Oh, that goes down good.

171. Thank you very much. We'll be right back

172. with "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" don't go away.

173. Let me just tell you if you're at home

174. sitting on your fat butt, watching the show

175. you know what? So am I.

176. 'I'm doing the same thing.'

177. 'Sitting on my fat butt, watching the show.'

178. Let's keep the show going with a game called "African Chant."

179. This is for all four of you,

180. with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor and Cece Worall.

181. Uh, you there. What's your name?

182. - Julia. - 'What do you do for a living?'

183. - I teach dance. - 'You teach dance?'

184. Come on down here. Twinkle your toes..

185. Hello. Go down there, have a seat on the stool.

186. - She was all jaunty. - 'Yeah, that's right.'

187. To a game called "African Chant."

188. Wayne's gonna sing an African chant

189. 'to Julia, who teaches dance.'

190. 'And you're gonna use her name and occupation'

191. 'while you're chanting to her.'

192. 'And you're gonna be backed, the back up from our, uh..'

193. 'back up from Colin, Ryan, and Greg.'

194. Because when you think African chant

195. you think Colin, Ryan, and Greg.

196. - Man-dingo. - Yeah, that's right.

197. That's Ladysmith Mayonnaise Mambazo to you.

198. So, uh, go ahead and take it away whenever you're ready.

199. Ha ha!

200. To Julia.

201. (Drew) 'Thank you, Julia.'

202. (Wayne) 'I'm sorry, buddy.'

203. - It's alright. - I'm sorry, man.

204. He made me do it. You know what I'm saying?

205. One brother comes out to see a taping and that's what he sees.

206. Julia!

207. You know, so how about a hand for Julia?

208. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

209. Alright, she's known in her family, crazy aunt Julia.

210. You're right.

211. Took a while to stab in the dark just to see.

212. (Drew) 'We're gonna go ahead with a game called'

213. "Sound Effects." This is for Ryan and Colin.

214. (Drew) 'Why don't you, ah, come on down here.'

215. Hello.

216. Hi. What's your name, please?

217. Lola.

218. Lola. And what's your name, please?

219. Mimi.

220. Lo, really? No kidding?

221. Why don't you both come on down here?

222. This is, uh, step aside.

223. 'Okay, come right over here in front of my desk.'

224. (Drew) 'Now, Lola and Mimi, what's gonna happen is'

225. you're gonna help us up playing a game called "Sound Effects."

226. Ryan and Colin are gonna do a scene

227. and you guys are gonna do the sound effects during the scene.

228. - Sure. - 'Okay, go.'

229. (Drew) 'Lola, you're gonna do sound effects for Colin.'

230. 'And Mimi, you're gonna do the sound effects for Ryan.'

231. 'I can't believe your name's Mimi.'

232. The scene is, James Bond, Ryan

233. 'and, uh, his beautiful accomplice, Tiffany..'

234. 'Colin they're even giving you names now.'

235. are settling down for a romantic encounter

236. in an Alpine Chalet

237. when you're surprised by enemy agents.

238. Take it away.

239. Tiffany, I've fallen so in love with you

240. I'm not gonna even bother using my fake accent.

241. Oh, James.

242. - Martinis? - Oh, please.

243. You like 'em dry, I hope.

244. Why don't we put some vodka in there?

245. I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous.

246. Pshh.

247. I think that's enough, Tiffany.

248. - Some ice? - Little, please.

249. (Lola) 'Clink, clink, clink.'

250. It tends to jump by itself into the glass.

251. Thank you.

252. Uh.

253. (Mimi) 'Ah! Uh!'

254. 'Aah!'

255. Are you alright?

256. - Could you do it for a while? - Alright.

257. My arms are a bit sore.

258. (Lola) 'Clink.'

259. Oh.

260. (Lola) 'Slurp. Slurp.'

261. (Mimi) 'Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!'

262. Aah!

263. Why don't I just slip out of this tight tight dress?

264. (Ryan) 'Alright.'

265. (Lola) 'Zzzk.'

266. Uh, zipper's stuck.

267. Why don't I just get the sauna ready.

268. Sorry!

269. I'll use the other one.

270. I forgot my uncle was visiting.

271. - This one— - Oh, wait, James.

272. Do you hear the security alarm going off?

273. I can only hear it while I'm in this room

274. I better turn it off.

275. Let's turn on the monitors and see what's happening.

276. It's still, uh, it's on tubes. It takes a while to warm up.

277. No, here comes the message now.

278. It seems to be some sort of assignment.

279. I guess we're alright.

280. - James. - What?

281. You know, you're in danger.

282. After your last mission there's agents out to kill you.

283. That's right. We've gotta get out of this room.

284. Go somewhere where they can't find us. Follow me.

285. Sorry, sorry again.

286. Hop on the back of my bike.

287. Hop on the back.

288. I'm givin' it gas. I don't know what's wrong.

289. (Mimi) 'Rrr. Rrr.'

290. Oh, look, agents! Why don't we ski down the mountain?

291. Alright.

292. (Mimi) 'Shhh. Shh.'

293. Hey! Wait for me.

294. Throw me some skis.

295. (Lola) 'Uh, uh.'

296. - Spies! - I am not going anywhere.

297. (Mimi) 'Pshhh.'

298. Oh, yes, I am. Yes, I am.

299. Pshhh.

300. Oh, they're shooting.

301. (Lola) 'Bang. Bang. Bang.'

302. We'll be right back with more of "Whose Line." Don't go away.

303. Welcome back, to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

304. Where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

305. Points don't have any value right now.

306. I need to call Smith to be fetchin' us all beer.

307. (Drew) 'Then he'd be so rich with points.

308. Let's continue the show with a game called, "Fashion Models."

309. This is for Greg with Wayne, Ryan and Colin.

310. This game is great. It's commentating on a fashion show.

311. Wayne, Ryan and Colin are models.

312. Now, audience, I need suggestions

313. of a manly profession. A really manly profession.

314. Body builder.

315. Sewer worker.

316. 'We have a winner. Let's see..'

317. - Sewer worker? - Now—

318. Yes.

319. Let's go ahead with the Sewer Worker Fashion Show.

320. Take it away.

321. This autumn the look for the sewer worker

322. is subterranean caliente.

323. Let's check out Ryan in his hip boots.

324. (Greg) 'That's right.'

325. 'Nothing gets past this man when he goes down the hole.'

326. 'Whether the smell is eau toilet or whether you're just lookin'

327. 'for something to float your lunch on'

328. 'you can count on this outfit.'

329. 'Thanks, Ryan.'

330. 'Hello, handsome.'

331. 'Who ordered hunky bunky?'

332. 'That's right. Here comes Colin.'

333. 'Yes, his hat was in the dark and so does his tush.'

334. 'Those safety stripes will keep the bats off'

335. 'and everyone else awake all night.'

336. Look who just fell down the manhole.

337. (Drew) 'It's Wayne Brady.'

338. 'That's right. Let's see all the boys together'

339. 'when they form a sewer triumvirate.'

340. 'They'll get that hole open in no time'

341. 'with those hot strokes.'

342. We'll be right back. Don't go away.

343. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

344. 'We're gonna end the show with all these guys'

345. 'doing the credits for you.'

346. I want you to read the credits as the Village People

347. 'reading the credits faster and faster and faster.'

348. Thanks for watching, everybody. Goodnight.