Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x12

Directed by

Jonathan Mangum as Self

Guest: comic Jonathan Mangum.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x12 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x12 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x12]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x12 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x12 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. (Drew Carey) 'Good evening, everybody'

2. 'and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

3. 'On tonight's show..'

4. '"A nice wet nose" Wayne Brady.'

5. '"Nice shiny coat" Kathy Greenwood.'

6. '"Has all his shots" Colin Mochrie.'

7. 'And "Will he get much bigger?" Ryan Stiles.'

8. I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on, let's have some fun.

9. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

10. The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

11. That's right. The points are like the cost of your funeral.

12. Let's start with a game called Let's Make A Date.

13. This is for all four. Kathy, you'll be on a dating type show.

14. 'And you're gonna try to pick Ryan, Colin and Wayne..'

15. '... are the contestants you're gonna try to pick from.'

16. 'We've given them each a strange characteristic or identity'

17. 'on these cards here, which they've never seen before.'

18. 'Kathy, you'll question them. Try to guess who they are.'

19. When you ready Kathy, off you go.

20. Bachelor #1, hello.

21. Yeah, what do you want? Yeah, what do you want, fool?

22. Well, I was just wondering..

23. Let's say you worked on a construction site and I walk by.

24. What would you say to me?

25. (Kathy) 'Okay, shut up!'

26. Bachelor #2, dogs or cats?

27. (Kathy) 'Thank you.'

28. Bachelor #3.

29. Yes, it's nice to have you here tonight.

30. 'Well, thank you, Bachelor #3.'

31. Listen, if you were an appetizer what would be your ingredients?

32. Well, I'll be served over ice, I know that.

33. Before I answer that

34. I'll just ask this couple right here where you're from.

35. (male #1) 'Rochester, New York.'

36. I've never been there, but I hear it's beautiful.

37. Thank you, that's lovely. Thank you, Bachelor #3.

38. Thank you very much. You married?

39. Alright, Bachelor #1, back to you.

40. I'm hungry! Me too!

41. What's wrong with you, can't you speak?

42. 'Alright. Thank you, Bachelor #1.'

43. Bachelor #2..

44. I believe that intimacy is very very important.

45. (Kathy) 'Uh, what?'

46. You're not from this country, are you?

47. Bachelor #3..

48. Yes, I'm still here, even though not many others are.

49. Listen, sometimes when I read, I get dizzy.

50. Oh, I know how you feel.

51. What makes you weak-kneed, Bachelor #3?

52. Weak-kneed... well, first of all

53. I'd like to thank my band for stickin' around.

54. And then I'd like to say..

55. Thank you.

56. 'Well, Kathy, who do you think they are?'

57. Well, can I start with Bachelor #2?

58. - Yeah, sure. - 'Okay.'

59. Bachelor #2, are you a disgruntled

60. Canadian hockey player?

61. - 'No!' - Close, very close.

62. So, it's touchy French-Canadian teen

63. who get's increasingly aggressive

64. with the people who laugh on him.

65. Come on, Kathy, come on.

66. I'm so stupid.

67. Bachelor #1, is a bunch of happy lap dogs?

68. In my previous life.

69. - From a movie. - There were three of me.

70. (Drew Carey) 'Whoopie Goldberg did one of the voices.'

71. Oh, I'm Whoopie. I'm Cheech. I'm silent.

72. Oh. You're on that little..

73. You're the long journeyer or whatever for all those animals..

74. Oh, my god!

75. I'll spare you of further embarrassment

76. and tell you they're the hyenas from the—

77. - "Lion King." - 'Yes.'

78. You're so good at this, you're so good at this.

79. Bachelor #3, the lounge singer on the Titanic.

80. "The Lion King" was a big hit movie.

81. Well..

82. No, the one with two cats and the dog... never mind.

83. Well, that's okay. I know, you don't get out a lot.

84. Now, let's go on to a game called Sound Effects.

85. This is for Ryan and Colin.

86. Why don't you come up there, Ryan and Colin?

87. Hello, what's your name?

88. - Julie. - Nice to meet you, Julie.

89. Why don't you go up there and say hi to Ryan and Colin, Julie.

90. - Hi, what's your name? - Michele.

91. Michele, nice to meet you, Michele.

92. Why don't you come on down here and say hi to Ryan and Colin.

93. I want you to stand over here next to Julie.

94. Thanks for doin' this. Stand over here next to Julie.

95. What's to happen is, these guys are gonna do a scene for you.

96. Julie, you're going to do the sound effects for Colin.

97. 'And Michele, you'll do the sound effects for Ryan.'

98. And the scene is, uh, Ryan... is Indiana Jones.

99. Colin, is his sassy female side-kick.

100. They're on a dangerous quest for lost treasure.

101. Julie does the sound effects for Colin, Michele does it for Ryan.

102. 'Take it away.'

103. I want you to look in this book.

104. - I'm sassy! - I know.

105. But look in the book, anyway.

106. Oh, look how old and leathery these papers are.

107. (Julie) 'Flip!'

108. I recognize this book. It's from..

109. I guess you better flip.

110. (Julie) 'Flip! Flip!'

111. This is from the old book of flip.

112. That's right.

113. Van Damme.

114. What the... that means the hidden treasure.

115. That's right. And we're boardin' the plane in one minute.

116. Get your luggage together.

117. I'm just taking air.

118. Okay, climb aboard.

119. Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! Clomp!

120. Thought I'd have a beer on the way up.

121. Why don't I flip the propeller?

122. Alright, start her up for me.

123. Contact.

124. Do it again.

125. (Ryan) 'Contact.'

126. Sorry.

127. Harder!

128. Oh! There's an elephant on the wing.

129. Get the elephant off, we're waiting.

130. Try it now.

131. There it goes! Get in.

132. - Drop your seat belt. - 'Click.'

133. Ready? Here we go.

134. 'Click! Click! Click!'

135. Boy, listen to that engine.

136. We'll get there, don't worry about it.

137. Just hang on.

138. Ah! It sounds like the engine's in trouble.

139. It's alright, we might have to make a crash landing.

140. - I'm scared! - Aah!

141. Hang on.

142. I'm gonna try to put it down in the water over there.

143. (Michele) 'Swish! Swish! Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh! Swish!'

144. Hop!

145. Luckily, those dogs broke our fall.

146. We're safe.

147. A temple.

148. A temple?

149. Alright, let's head into the temple.

150. Alright. There's a door. Well, this must open it.

151. Clunk!

152. Never mind, I'll move it.

153. I'll help you, I'm sassy!

154. Here we go.

155. Wait a minute.

156. Different colored stones.

157. We have to walk across these stones very slowly.

158. You know..

159. They may be damp.

160. I'm ready for that.

161. (Julie) 'Squish! Squish! Squish!'

162. Oh, my god! I missed the stone.

163. Oh, nothing happened.

164. Oh, I guess we're okay.

165. What?

166. Oh, my god!

167. Quick, give me some sand. A bag of sand.

168. Watch out! Look, a snake!

169. 'Ack!'

170. It's alright, you stepped on him.

171. Oh, it's alright.

172. You know, what? This assignment has been fraught with danger.

173. It's the easiest assignment I've ever been on.

174. 'Ack!'

175. 'Click! Ack!'

176. Well, I guess everything's alright.

177. Oh, my god! A giant rock!

178. 'Putt! Putt! Putt!'

179. - It looked bigger. - Yeah.

180. Thank you very much. Be right back with more "Whose Line.."

181. Don't go away.

182. Phew!

183. I'm telling you, we had such a frightening moment.

184. while we were at commercial.

185. One of Ryan's shoes got loose.

186. Man!

187. I'm still not sure I got the right one back.

188. We're gonna do a game called Motown Group.

189. This is for Wayne, Colin and Ryan.

190. 'With Laura Hall, Linda Taylor and Cece Worrall.'

191. 'Laura, Linda, Cece.'

192. Okay. Somebody from this section over here

193. give me a suggestion of an outdoor profession.

194. Park Ranger.

195. Park Ranger. Park Ranger.

196. 'These guys are gonna do a song for you like a Motown group.'

197. Each one's gonna take a verse, the other two'll do the back up.

198. 'You're gonna do a song called "Do the Park Ranger."'

199. 'Take it away.'

200. Park ranger, forest ranger, what's the difference?

201. - Parks, forests.. - Same thing.

202. - 'Same thing.' - It's a ranger.

203. It's a ranger.

204. - Power. - 'Power ranger.'

205. Not in the world.

206. You know that reminds me of..

207. You're in a bad night club and all the white guys

208. trying to copy the moves of the one black guy.

209. '"Hey, I can do that."'

210. Now let's move on to a game called Helping Hands.

211. This is for Ryan and Kathy.

212. 'And, uh, Colin, what's gonna happen, come up to the table.'

213. What's gonna happen is Ryan and Kathy

214. are gonna act out a situation

215. but Ryan cannot use his own arms.

216. 'Colin is gonna provide the arms for him. Aren't you, Colin?'

217. The scene is that a married man, Ryan

218. 'has invited his secretary Kathy, out for lunch'

219. 'so he can proposition her.'

220. So, go ahead, take it away. Married man Ryan and Colin..

221. - Did anybody follow you? - No.

222. Not that I'm worried. I'm just sayin', you know.

223. That's so nice that you're gonna make something for me.

224. I really like men who can cook and—

225. Come here, come here!

226. Sorry, I'm all arms.

227. Just watch it. I'm ready to leave—

228. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look, let me ply you up.

229. Let me offer you a drink.

230. - Alright, that'll be fine. - Take the glass.

231. I'd like one nice half a glass of wine, please.

232. - Half a glass? - Just half a glass.

233. - Alright. - Thank you.

234. - Here we go. - 'I said half!'

235. - I see it! Here's half a glass. - Thank you.

236. I, myself think I'll drink right out of the bottle.

237. - Cheers. - Cheers.

238. (Kathy) 'My goodness, that's so sexy when you do it.'

239. Ah! I was hopin' that might have been stronger.

240. 'Ha ha ha.'

241. - Well, why don't you— - Carrot, carrot?

242. I'd love a carrot. Yes.

243. Celery? Celery? I can't make up my my mind.

244. I wanted a carrot, but if it has to be a cele..

245. Look, I'm the devil, I'm the devil.

246. - Alright, you scaring me now. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

247. - What is the point of this? - I wanted to give you this.

248. Okay, well, then give it to me.

249. It's-it's the lid to a chocolate box.

250. - Well, thank you. - And the chocolates.

251. Well, thank you. Listen, could you take this as well?

252. Of course, I will.

253. - But watch this first. - 'Alright.'

254. I'm sorry. I'm getting a little drunk after wine.

255. - One more time. - Yeah.

256. I'll just put one in my mouth.

257. I really shouldn't because I'm diabetic, but..

258. What the hell?

259. (Kathy) 'Oh, my, look at that. That is turning me on.'

260. You know..

261. Why don't you have another one?

262. - You know what? - What?

263. This is that chocolate I always bite half of and put it back.

264. There you go.

265. I'm sorry you had to see that.

266. That's not how I really am.

267. A rose, for my lady.

268. A rose... there.

269. - It's kind of like a rose. - Yeah.

270. It's a plastic flower, but that's all I can give you.

271. I would really like a carrot with some dip, please.

272. Alright, I can't talk now, I'm busy.

273. I said a carrot with some dip.

274. - A carrot with a little dip? - Yeah.

275. Let me put the carrot in the dip first.

276. Let me put the carrot in the dip first.

277. - Here you go. - Thank you.

278. 'Oh, heinous!'

279. Is that Ranch? I smell Ranch.

280. And you know how much I love Ranch.

281. - A little bite for you. - Thank you. Mmm.

282. I hope the dip hasn't been sitting

283. under lights for too long.

284. - Cigar? - I'd love a cigar.

285. - Out. - Let me.

286. I can barely reach and my back is so bad.

287. Cigar.

288. We'll try that again.

289. You know, I prefer my cigars dipped in Ranch as well.

290. - Oh. This is really— - Let's cut the-

291. This..

292. You're really turning me on.

293. I can't touch you. I've got Ranch all over myself.

294. What do you mean you can't touch me, what's..

295. Be right back with more "Whose Line.." when we clean up.

296. Don't go away.

297. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

298. Tonight's winner... Wayne Brady. Wayne Brady's tonight's winner.

299. Whoo!

300. The rest of us, there's a game for you called..

301. Foreign Film Dub.

302. Kathy and I are gonna do a scene in a made up foreign language

303. and you guys are gonna translate for us.

304. Ryan's gonna translate for me, Colin's for Kathy.

305. What we need from you is a suggestion

306. of a foreign language.

307. - Swahili! - French!

308. (Drew Carey) 'Italian. Okay, Italian.'

309. If you were an Italian action film director..

310. you'd be out of work

311. but what would your big action movie be called?

312. Killer Spaghetti. Killer Spaghetti.

313. 'Killer Spaghetti.'

314. Mamma Mia!

315. (Ryan) 'Oh, mamma, how I love you so much.'

316. (Colin) 'I finished cleaning your underwear.'

317. (Ryan) 'What I'm sup—'

318. (Ryan) 'Hey, I was expecting spaghetti. Huh! Huh! Huh!'

319. (Colin) 'What is it with you and spaghetti?'

320. (Ryan) 'Without spaghetti I cannot keep my shapely figure.'

321. Sorry, that was your underwear.

322. (Ryan) 'That is so nice of you to whip me with spaghetti.'

323. 'Usually, I have to pay for that sort of thing.'

324. Here you go. For dessert, crushed nuts.

325. Thank you, we'll be right back with "Whose Line.."

326. Don't go away.

327. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

328. Tonight, Ryan'll do the credits for you.

329. Ryan, you're gonna be a lounge singer

330. going down in the Titanic.

331. Thanks for watching everybody. Goodnight.