Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x2

1. (Drew) 'Good evening, everybody.'

2. 'And welcome to, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

3. 'On tonight's show AC/DC, Wayne Brady.'

4. 'Iron Maiden, Kathy Greenwood.'

5. 'Twisted Sister, Colin Mochrie.'

6. 'And Nelson, Ryan Stiles.'

7. I'm your host, Drew Carey.

8. Come on down. Let's have some fun.

9. Hello, everybody, welcome.

10. Welcome to, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

11. The show where everything is made up

12. and the points don't matter. That's right.

13. The points are like how wrong you're girlfriend is

14. when you're having a fight with her.

15. That's right.

16. (Drew) 'Just doesn't matter.'

17. Needless to say this show's all ad-libbed.

18. We're real excited.

19. These guys are gonna make up everything

20. 'right on top of their heads.'

21. We're starting with a game called "Let's Make A Date".

22. Kathy, you're gonna be appearing on a dating type show.

23. And Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are contestants on the show.

24. 'Hoping to be picked by you for a date.'

25. 'You're gonna question them and guess who they are.'

26. 'We've given each a strange characteristic or identity.'

27. Actually everybody's got a really good one.

28. 'Go ahead, Kathy. Take it away.'

29. Alrighty, I'll start with bachelor number one.

30. (Kathy) 'What's your idea of a really great vacation?'

31. Well, I just like to..

32. I would like to answer that by

33. I-I want to propose a toast.

34. Um... what I..

35. You are so stupid, Helen.

36. No, you shut up! I want to be here for her.

37. It's her special time.

38. You..

39. Oh, don't just blah, blah, blah.

40. Where's the karaoke, huh?

41. Hey, what, huh?

42. Go ahead.

43. (Kathy) 'Thank you very much.'

44. - Thank you very much. - 'Yeah. Right—'

45. - Hey, babe. - 'Alright—'

46. Ah, blah. Yeah, blah, blah.

47. Right, bachelor number two.

48. (Kathy) 'If you were to take me on a shopping spree'

49. 'what kind of things would you buy me?'

50. Uhh..

51. Don't have time for shopping spree.

52. Let my people go!

53. I'll try to fit in.

54. Bonjour. Bonjour.

55. Alright.

56. She got that French stuff from her mama's side

57. of the family, huh?

58. (Kathy) 'Thank you, bachelor number two.'

59. Bachelor number three, what would you and I do

60. on a lazy Sunday afternoon?

61. What would we do?

62. Well, in the words of the important one.

63. That question is corrupt!

64. Go north. Go north.

65. (Kathy) 'Thank you. Back to bachelor number one.'

66. What is your biggest regret in life?

67. Oh, God.

68. My sister.

69. Your mama..

70. was so stupid to me, you know?

71. You grow up with someone

72. and then you think that you know all about somebody until..

73. What the hell are you following me for, huh?

74. And who invited all these people, see?

75. I knew I did some paying for the crap, you know?

76. And all I wanted was a karaoke machine.

77. Is some Neil Diamond to much to ask for, huh?

78. Screw this!

79. I don't need this crap!

80. Go!

81. Shut up!

82. Come on!

83. Okay, uh, bachelor number two.

84. (Kathy) 'What makes you cry?'

85. Oh.

86. I'm gonna create a diversion. Everyone follow me.

87. (Kathy) 'Thank you, bachelor number two.'

88. - Bachelor number three. - 'Yes.'

89. Who do you look up to most in life?

90. Oh, please!

91. I think it's best said in a song.

92. Kathy, I know how much you love these guessing games.

93. - Yeah. - 'Who are they?'

94. Bachelor number one is a very bitter best man at a wedding.

95. No, not best man. He's a—

96. - He is the sister of— - 'Uncle.'

97. (Kathy) 'The uncle of the bride.'

98. And the bride is who?

99. - 'Colin.' - Yes.

100. Bachelor number two is a chameleon in a circus.

101. - 'No.' - 'Is a frog in France.'

102. A frog in what kind of restaurant?

103. Oh! Of a French restaurant.

104. (Drew) 'Yes.'

105. - Man, you're so good at this. - Bachelor number three—

106. I love it when you guess things.

107. Bachelor number three, are you

108. the head of the Colin Mochrie fan club?

109. (Drew) 'Kinda. Yeah.'

110. It's a cult. Colin Mochrie Cult.

111. (Drew) 'Close enough.'

112. Fan club, cult, what's the difference, huh?

113. I have a cat named Ryan.

114. Ha ha ha!

115. Not any more you don't.

116. Now, let's go on to a game called "Two Line Vocabulary."

117. This is for Ryan, Colin and Wayne.

118. 'It's a really fun game.'

119. 'We're gonna act out a scene'

120. But Ryan and Wayne can only say two lines.

121. All they're allowed to say is one of two lines from the scene.

122. 'The scene is, "Colin is a tough SWAT team commander'

123. "'with his two agents, Ryan and Wayne.'

124. "'They must infiltrate the building'

125. which terrorists have taken over."

126. Ah, Wayne, the only things you're allowed to say are

127. "Is this it?" and "I wanna go first."

128. 'Ryan, the only lines you're allowed to say are'

129. '"Should I be doing this?"'

130. 'and "What's the point of that."'

131. Take it away.

132. Okay, guys, this could be very dangerous.

133. You got everything ready?

134. Is this it?

135. Yes.

136. - I wanna go first. - Alright.

137. I appreciate your enthusiasm.

138. Should I be doing this?

139. Yes, you should be doing this.

140. Everyone, we have to be quiet. They're on the seventh floor.

141. What's the point of that?

142. Well, maybe it's their lucky number. I don't know.

143. Hey, I want to go first.

144. No, no. You got to wait. We gotta have a plan.

145. We're just go..

146. We'll walk in through the door.

147. - What's the point of that? - What, wha..

148. It's a lot easier getting into the building that way.

149. Should I be doing this?

150. Tick, tick, tick.

151. Listen. I hear some tick ticking.

152. Is this it?

153. It's a bomb!

154. - I want to go first. - Alright.

155. What's the point of that?

156. Well, it could blow us up. We're gonna have to disarm it.

157. Good work.

158. - We'll go up the stair well. - Is this it?

159. There could be a 100 terrorists.

160. - I want to go first. - You go ahead.

161. Ahh!

162. Oh, good. Okay, it's safe.

163. Should I be doing this?

164. No, no. Come this way. This way.

165. This way.

166. - Okay. - Is this it?

167. No, I'm telling you there's gonna be some action.

168. You're gonna get to kill people.

169. What's the point of that?

170. Look, what's gonna happen is, we are gonna go through the door.

171. You create a diversion.

172. - Should I be doing this? - No, don't be pulling that.

173. This is a very serious mission.

174. - We'll go through the door. - What's the point of that?

175. If you'll just listen.

176. Is this it?

177. We are not ready yet.

178. Alright.

179. - Don't do that. - I wanna go first.

180. - Listen! Listen! - I wanna go first.

181. - Should I be doin' this? - No, you shouldn't.

182. Alright, alright, alright, alright.

183. Alright, we'll be right back.

184. Remember this. Don't go away.

185. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

186. Hey, listen, uh, did you hug your daughter?

187. During the break, did you? 'Cause I did.

188. Let's go on to a game called "Film Dub."

189. You can play this any time at home on your own.

190. Just turn the TV down. Don't do it now. Ah!

191. We are gonna show a film clip

192. to Ryan, Colin and Kathy.

193. (Drew) 'We have turned down the sound so they have'

194. 'to supply the words to the, uh, film clip.'

195. The scene I'd like you to improvise is

196. "A couple visit a themed restaurant."

197. (Colin) 'Oh, darling your dress matches the tablecloth.'

198. (Kathy) 'I don't know why I put this ginghum straitjacket on'

199. 'this morning. It's so—'

200. (Colin) 'Boy, the service here is really lousy.'

201. (Ryan) 'Hey, drop the chalupa.'

202. 'I'm kiddin'. I'm Manuel, I'm your waiter.'

203. 'Ha-ha! Oh! There we go.'

204. 'Ah! Hello.'

205. (Kathy) 'Hello, Manuel.'

206. 'Don't you remember me? Your ex-lover.'

207. (Ryan) 'No, you look familiar. I mean the guy.'

208. 'May I recommend the scampi, it's—'

209. (Colin) 'No, I'd like to see your wine list, please.'

210. - 'Yes, a wine list.' - Ha ha ha!

211. - He is gone now. Oh! - 'Sit down.'

212. (Kathy) 'Oh, don't be so rough.'

213. (Ryan) 'I would recommend this—'

214. (Kathy) 'What smells?'

215. 'Yes, I thought it was you.'

216. (Ryan) 'Ha! No, I've got the chalupa.'

217. 'I'm going to get it now. Oh, my pants ripped!'

218. Hey, drop the chalupa.

219. Chalupa.

220. (Drew) 'Yeah, it was really funny.'

221. Uh, let's go out to a game called "Sound Effects."

222. This is for Ryan and Colin.

223. "Sound Effects."

224. Hello, how are you?

225. Hi, what a pleasure.

226. - What's your name, please? - Karen.

227. - What's your name, please? - Sharon.

228. Karen and Sharon, wow! The whole comedy team.

229. Come on down, Karen and Sharon.

230. 'Follow me, please.'

231. (Drew) Come on over here.

232. Karen and Sharon come right up here..

233. and face this way.

234. (Drew) 'These guys are gonna do a scene for us'

235. 'and Sharon and Karen you gonna do the sound effects.'

236. It's exciting. We'll have an action packed scene.

237. Sharon, you do the sound effects for Colin.

238. 'And, Karen, you are gonna do it for Ryan.'

239. 'Those'll be the people you are in charge of—'

240. Have you met Drew?

241. I see you're big fan of the show. Glad to have you.

242. Uh, here's the scene, "Clark Kent, who is Ryan

243. "is having an intimate evening with Lois Lane, Colin

244. "when he gets a message that super villan Lex Luthor

245. is terrorizing New York with a series of disasters."

246. So get ready, Sharon and Karen.

247. And enjoy yourselves doin' the sound effects.

248. A little champagne, Lois?

249. Why, thank you, Clark.

250. (Karen) 'Squeak.'

251. I hope you like Squeaky 49.

252. - It's a rare brand. - Thank you.

253. A toast.

254. (Sharon and Karen) 'Click.'

255. To the most beautiful woman in the world.

256. (Sharon) 'Ah!'

257. (Karen) 'Glug glug glug!'

258. Boy, is that good?

259. Wow!

260. The bubbles get up my nose.

261. Next to kryptonite, it's the only thing

262. that can really kill me.

263. Why don't I put on some romantic music?

264. That'd be nice.

265. Do you like the sounds of silence?

266. Yes.

267. My favorite band.

268. Hmm.

269. - Wait a minute. - What?

270. A signal.

271. (Karen) 'Beep beep beep.'

272. Only your super-hearing can pick it up, I'm guessing.

273. You don't hear those beep beep beeps?

274. (Karen) 'Beep beep beep.'

275. (Colin) 'What do you think it means?'

276. Lex Luthor or Luthor..

277. I can't understand signals aren't that clear.

278. He's 'causing problems downtown, I'm going to have to go.

279. - Will you come with me? - Alright.

280. Hold on tight.

281. (Karen) 'Whoosh.'

282. Oh!

283. - 'Whoosh! Whoosh!' - 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'

284. - 'Whoosh! Whoosh!' - 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'

285. 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'

286. My powers are only good for taking ten second spurts.

287. We've landed.

288. I think left my faucet on too.

289. - Lois. - What?

290. If we are separated, take this gun.

291. - You have a gun? - Oh, just in case.

292. - You see how I fly. - Alright.

293. What're you gonna do?

294. I'm going to go down that staircase.

295. I'll come with you. I'm very scared.

296. If you're comin' with me we'll go through that skylight.

297. Lex's office is right below it.

298. Alright. Best we don't use the stairs

299. we'll jump through the skylight.

300. You know how I like do things strangely.

301. Alright.

302. - The skylight's louder. - Alright.

303. Won't I cut myself on all those shards of broken glass?

304. No. I'll hold you up with my

305. super ten-second-spurt flying powers.

306. Alright.

307. - Hang on. - Alright.

308. Uh-oh!

309. - Ow! - Crap!

310. Oh, my goodness, look! Luthor has built a giant robot.

311. Shh! I think it's sleeping.

312. Say, you don't think it's activated by this button?

313. Don't touch that.

314. No, I guess not.

315. (Drew) 'Sharon and Karen..'

316. I'll tell you two good things that came out of this.

317. You're gonna be famous

318. with your friends and neighbors for a couple of weeks

319. and the second thing now you know who Ryan and Colin are.

320. 'Let's go on to a game..'

321. This is a really great game called "Show Stopping Numbers"

322. 'for Colin, Ryan, Wayne with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor.'

323. 'Colin and Ryan are gonna start. Later you're gonna come in.'

324. 'Somebody from the audience give me'

325. uh, give me a suggestion for a boring place to work.

326. - Funeral home. - Bank.

327. (Drew) 'Bank.'

328. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank.

329. 'Uh, you guys work in a bank.'

330. 'Now during the scene, I'm gonna buzz in and when I do

331. the last one to talk has to break into

332. a big show stopping number

333. uh, using the last line that he said.

334. And you guys work at a bank.

335. Take it away.

336. - Boy, is this ever borin'? - Oh, at least you have bills.

337. All we do all day is just hand out cash.

338. I'm incharge of counting nickels.

339. I'm gonna get outta here some day.

340. I should quit. That's all I hear from my wife. You should quit.

341. - Every day. - What else are you gonna do?

342. This is no life for me.

343. - I'm nobody. - Oh, of course you're somebody.

344. You are big part ba—

345. (Wayne) 'Squeaky.'

346. Can we help you, sir?

347. Yeah!

348. - This is here is a stickup. - Stickup?

349. Put all your money in small denominations

350. into the bag, just hurry up.

351. Uh, I got nickels.

352. Hey, I know that face.

353. That's Roger from the bakery shop across the street.

354. Roger!

355. (Colin) 'Hey.'

356. Hi.

357. If you needed money, why didn't you just ask?

358. (Colin) 'What do you need that money for anyway?'

359. Well, I wanna open up my own Tex-Mex restaurant

360. across the street.

361. Right next to the bakery.

362. What're you gonna call it?

363. Nacho Mama.

364. Alright, we'll be right back.

365. Don't go away.

366. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

367. Tonight's winner. Wayne Brady is the winner.

368. And, uh, what's gonna happen is the rest of us

369. will do a game for you called "Theme Restaurant"

370. where Kathy and I are gonna be people out to dinner

371. at a restaurant that has a strange theme

372. and Ryan and Colin are our waiters.

373. - What's the theme there, Wayne? - Western.

374. It's a western themed restaurant.

375. Listen, uh, honey, I'm so glad we can get together

376. for this dinner, I just can't wait for you—

377. Pony Express menu.

378. Ha-ha.

379. They really do things quite differently here.

380. Ah! That's exciting.

381. Water.

382. Krick!

383. - I think he was a desperado. - Ha-ha! Oh, Drew.

384. Call me a horse thief or something like that.

385. Oh, stop that, you're so funny..

386. This is my table.

387. What'd you want?

388. Hmm, I was wondering what the soup of the day is?

389. - I'll check. - Okay.

390. I thought, if we could, maybe get a, uh

391. uh, some more bread over here, please.

392. Geez! Why d'you have to—

393. Yeah, you know this is why.. The-the best think I like is

394. we might be in Indian territory.

395. No, don't scare me now.

396. It's the wild west. You never know.

397. - Oh, no. - Aah! Aah!

398. (Ryan) 'You decided?'

399. Oh, we decided, yes. Uh, is your horse fresh?

400. I hate to do that, but he was sufferin'.

401. - I'll have the horse. - Right.

402. I won't have anything.

403. Boy, a lot of things happen here.

404. Trouble in the kitchen. We'll have to circle these tables.

405. What's goin' on? What happened?

406. Are we in any kind of danger?

407. It's the Indian restaurant across the street.

408. We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

409. Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

410. We'll end the show with Colin Mochrie reading the credits.

411. Colin, I want you read the credits as a field reporter

412. and the others are lizards, running behind you.

413. Take it easy. We'll see you next time. Goodnight.

414. This whole story when Dan Patterson

415. let open the lizard cage. They're all over the place.

416. As you can see that's the winged Arthur Forrest.

417. Which, oh! You gonna watch out. It has the longest Drew Carey

418. you'll ever hope to see.

419. Oh, and there's the amazing Ray Miller lizard.

420. It didn't do much, but it's really nice to look at.

421. Look at the tongue on that Kristan Andrews.

422. Oh! Did you see that?

423. They are dangerous.

424. I think they're starting to mate.

425. Let's watch.