1. (Drew)
'Good evening, everybody.'
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2. 'And welcome to,
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'
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3. 'On tonight's show
AC/DC, Wayne Brady.'
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4. 'Iron Maiden,
Kathy Greenwood.'
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5. 'Twisted Sister, Colin Mochrie.'
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6. 'And Nelson, Ryan Stiles.'
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7. I'm your host, Drew Carey.
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8. Come on down.
Let's have some fun.
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9. Hello, everybody, welcome.
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10. Welcome to,
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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11. The show where everything
is made up
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12. and the points don't matter.
That's right.
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13. The points are like how wrong
you're girlfriend is
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14. when you're having
a fight with her.
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15. That's right.
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16. (Drew)
'Just doesn't matter.'
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17. Needless to say
this show's all ad-libbed.
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18. We're real excited.
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19. These guys are gonna
make up everything
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20. 'right on top of their heads.'
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21. We're starting with a game
called "Let's Make A Date".
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22. Kathy, you're gonna be appearing
on a dating type show.
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23. And Ryan, Colin, and Wayne
are contestants on the show.
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24. 'Hoping to be
picked by you for a date.'
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25. 'You're gonna question them
and guess who they are.'
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26. 'We've given each a strange
characteristic or identity.'
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27. Actually everybody's
got a really good one.
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28. 'Go ahead, Kathy.
Take it away.'
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29. Alrighty, I'll start
with bachelor number one.
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30. (Kathy)
'What's your idea
of a really great vacation?'
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31. Well, I just like to..
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32. I would like to answer that by
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33. I-I want to propose a toast.
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34. Um... what I..
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35. You are so stupid, Helen.
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36. No, you shut up!
I want to be here for her.
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37. It's her special time.
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38. You..
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39. Oh, don't just
blah, blah, blah.
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40. Where's the karaoke, huh?
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41. Hey, what, huh?
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42. Go ahead.
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43. (Kathy)
'Thank you very much.'
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44. - Thank you very much.
- 'Yeah. Right—'
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45. - Hey, babe.
- 'Alright—'
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46. Ah, blah.
Yeah, blah, blah.
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47. Right, bachelor number two.
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48. (Kathy)
'If you were to take me
on a shopping spree'
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49. 'what kind of things
would you buy me?'
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50. Uhh..
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51. Don't have time
for shopping spree.
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52. Let my people go!
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53. I'll try to fit in.
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54. Bonjour. Bonjour.
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55. Alright.
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56. She got that French stuff
from her mama's side
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57. of the family, huh?
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58. (Kathy)
'Thank you,
bachelor number two.'
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59. Bachelor number three,
what would you and I do
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60. on a lazy Sunday afternoon?
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61. What would we do?
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62. Well, in the words
of the important one.
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63. That question is corrupt!
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64. Go north. Go north.
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65. (Kathy)
'Thank you.
Back to bachelor number one.'
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66. What is your biggest
regret in life?
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67. Oh, God.
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68. My sister.
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69. Your mama..
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70. was so stupid to me,
you know?
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71. You grow up with someone
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72. and then you think that you know
all about somebody until..
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73. What the hell are you
following me for, huh?
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74. And who invited
all these people, see?
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75. I knew I did some paying
for the crap, you know?
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76. And all I wanted
was a karaoke machine.
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77. Is some Neil Diamond
to much to ask for, huh?
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78. Screw this!
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79. I don't need this crap!
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80. Go!
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81. Shut up!
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82. Come on!
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83. Okay, uh, bachelor number two.
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84. (Kathy)
'What makes you cry?'
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85. Oh.
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86. I'm gonna create a diversion.
Everyone follow me.
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87. (Kathy)
'Thank you,
bachelor number two.'
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88. - Bachelor number three.
- 'Yes.'
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89. Who do you look up
to most in life?
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90. Oh, please!
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91. I think it's
best said in a song.
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92. Kathy, I know how much
you love these guessing games.
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93. - Yeah.
- 'Who are they?'
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94. Bachelor number one is a very
bitter best man at a wedding.
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95. No, not best man.
He's a—
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96. - He is the sister of—
- 'Uncle.'
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97. (Kathy)
'The uncle of the bride.'
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98. And the bride is who?
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99. - 'Colin.'
- Yes.
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100. Bachelor number two
is a chameleon in a circus.
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101. - 'No.'
- 'Is a frog in France.'
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102. A frog in what kind
of restaurant?
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103. Oh! Of a French restaurant.
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104. (Drew)
'Yes.'
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105. - Man, you're so good at this.
- Bachelor number three—
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106. I love it when you
guess things.
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107. Bachelor number three,
are you
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108. the head of
the Colin Mochrie fan club?
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109. (Drew)
'Kinda. Yeah.'
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110. It's a cult.
Colin Mochrie Cult.
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111. (Drew)
'Close enough.'
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112. Fan club, cult,
what's the difference, huh?
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113. I have a cat named Ryan.
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114. Ha ha ha!
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115. Not any more you don't.
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116. Now, let's go on to a game
called "Two Line Vocabulary."
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117. This is for Ryan,
Colin and Wayne.
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118. 'It's a really fun game.'
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119. 'We're gonna act out a scene'
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120. But Ryan and Wayne
can only say two lines.
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121. All they're allowed to say is
one of two lines from the scene.
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122. 'The scene is, "Colin is
a tough SWAT team commander'
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123. "'with his two agents,
Ryan and Wayne.'
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124. "'They must infiltrate
the building'
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125. which terrorists
have taken over."
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126. Ah, Wayne, the only things
you're allowed to say are
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127. "Is this it?" and
"I wanna go first."
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128. 'Ryan, the only lines
you're allowed to say are'
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129. '"Should I be doing this?"'
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130. 'and "What's the point
of that."'
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131. Take it away.
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132. Okay, guys, this could be
very dangerous.
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133. You got everything ready?
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134. Is this it?
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135. Yes.
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136. - I wanna go first.
- Alright.
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137. I appreciate your enthusiasm.
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138. Should I be doing this?
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139. Yes, you should be doing this.
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140. Everyone, we have to be quiet.
They're on the seventh floor.
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141. What's the point of that?
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142. Well, maybe it's their
lucky number. I don't know.
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143. Hey, I want to go first.
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144. No, no. You got to wait.
We gotta have a plan.
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145. We're just go..
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146. We'll walk in through the door.
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147. - What's the point of that?
- What, wha..
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148. It's a lot easier getting
into the building that way.
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149. Should I be doing this?
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150. Tick, tick, tick.
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151. Listen.
I hear some tick ticking.
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152. Is this it?
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153. It's a bomb!
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154. - I want to go first.
- Alright.
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155. What's the point of that?
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156. Well, it could blow us up.
We're gonna have to disarm it.
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157. Good work.
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158. - We'll go up the stair well.
- Is this it?
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159. There could be a 100 terrorists.
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160. - I want to go first.
- You go ahead.
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161. Ahh!
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162. Oh, good.
Okay, it's safe.
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163. Should I be doing this?
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164. No, no. Come this way.
This way.
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165. This way.
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166. - Okay.
- Is this it?
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167. No, I'm telling you
there's gonna be some action.
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168. You're gonna get
to kill people.
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169. What's the point of that?
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170. Look, what's gonna happen is, we
are gonna go through the door.
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171. You create a diversion.
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172. - Should I be doing this?
- No, don't be pulling that.
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173. This is a very serious mission.
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174. - We'll go through the door.
- What's the point of that?
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175. If you'll just listen.
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176. Is this it?
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177. We are not ready yet.
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178. Alright.
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179. - Don't do that.
- I wanna go first.
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180. - Listen! Listen!
- I wanna go first.
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181. - Should I be doin' this?
- No, you shouldn't.
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182. Alright, alright,
alright, alright.
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183. Alright, we'll be right back.
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184. Remember this. Don't go away.
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185. Welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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186. Hey, listen, uh,
did you hug your daughter?
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187. During the break, did you?
'Cause I did.
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188. Let's go on
to a game called "Film Dub."
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189. You can play this any time
at home on your own.
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190. Just turn the TV down.
Don't do it now. Ah!
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191. We are gonna show a film clip
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192. to Ryan, Colin and Kathy.
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193. (Drew)
'We have turned down
the sound so they have'
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194. 'to supply the words
to the, uh, film clip.'
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195. The scene
I'd like you to improvise is
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196. "A couple visit
a themed restaurant."
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197. (Colin)
'Oh, darling your dress
matches the tablecloth.'
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198. (Kathy)
'I don't know why I put this
ginghum straitjacket on'
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199. 'this morning.
It's so—'
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200. (Colin)
'Boy, the service
here is really lousy.'
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201. (Ryan)
'Hey, drop the chalupa.'
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202. 'I'm kiddin'.
I'm Manuel, I'm your waiter.'
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203. 'Ha-ha! Oh!
There we go.'
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204. 'Ah! Hello.'
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205. (Kathy)
'Hello, Manuel.'
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206. 'Don't you remember me?
Your ex-lover.'
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207. (Ryan)
'No, you look familiar.
I mean the guy.'
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208. 'May I recommend the scampi,
it's—'
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209. (Colin)
'No, I'd like to see
your wine list, please.'
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210. - 'Yes, a wine list.'
- Ha ha ha!
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211. - He is gone now. Oh!
- 'Sit down.'
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212. (Kathy)
'Oh, don't be so rough.'
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213. (Ryan)
'I would recommend this—'
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214. (Kathy)
'What smells?'
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215. 'Yes, I thought it was you.'
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216. (Ryan)
'Ha! No, I've got the chalupa.'
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217. 'I'm going to get it now.
Oh, my pants ripped!'
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218. Hey, drop the chalupa.
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219. Chalupa.
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220. (Drew)
'Yeah, it was really funny.'
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221. Uh, let's go out to a game
called "Sound Effects."
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222. This is for Ryan and Colin.
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223. "Sound Effects."
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224. Hello, how are you?
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225. Hi, what a pleasure.
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226. - What's your name, please?
- Karen.
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227. - What's your name, please?
- Sharon.
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228. Karen and Sharon, wow!
The whole comedy team.
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229. Come on down,
Karen and Sharon.
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230. 'Follow me, please.'
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231. (Drew)
Come on over here.
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232. Karen and Sharon
come right up here..
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233. and face this way.
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234. (Drew)
'These guys are gonna
do a scene for us'
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235. 'and Sharon and Karen you gonna
do the sound effects.'
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236. It's exciting. We'll have
an action packed scene.
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237. Sharon, you do
the sound effects for Colin.
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238. 'And, Karen, you
are gonna do it for Ryan.'
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239. 'Those'll be the people
you are in charge of—'
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240. Have you met Drew?
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241. I see you're big fan
of the show. Glad to have you.
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242. Uh, here's the scene,
"Clark Kent, who is Ryan
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243. "is having an intimate
evening with Lois Lane, Colin
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244. "when he gets a message
that super villan Lex Luthor
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245. is terrorizing New York
with a series of disasters."
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246. So get ready, Sharon and Karen.
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247. And enjoy yourselves
doin' the sound effects.
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248. A little champagne, Lois?
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249. Why, thank you, Clark.
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250. (Karen)
'Squeak.'
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251. I hope you like Squeaky 49.
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252. - It's a rare brand.
- Thank you.
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253. A toast.
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254. (Sharon and Karen)
'Click.'
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255. To the most beautiful
woman in the world.
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256. (Sharon)
'Ah!'
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257. (Karen)
'Glug glug glug!'
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258. Boy, is that good?
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259. Wow!
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260. The bubbles get up my nose.
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261. Next to kryptonite,
it's the only thing
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262. that can really kill me.
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263. Why don't I put
on some romantic music?
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264. That'd be nice.
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265. Do you like
the sounds of silence?
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266. Yes.
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267. My favorite band.
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268. Hmm.
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269. - Wait a minute.
- What?
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270. A signal.
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271. (Karen)
'Beep beep beep.'
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272. Only your super-hearing
can pick it up, I'm guessing.
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273. You don't hear
those beep beep beeps?
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274. (Karen)
'Beep beep beep.'
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275. (Colin)
'What do you
think it means?'
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276. Lex Luthor or Luthor..
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277. I can't understand signals
aren't that clear.
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278. He's 'causing problems downtown,
I'm going to have to go.
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279. - Will you come with me?
- Alright.
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280. Hold on tight.
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281. (Karen)
'Whoosh.'
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282. Oh!
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283. - 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'
- 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'
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284. - 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'
- 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'
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285. 'Whoosh! Whoosh!'
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286. My powers are only good
for taking ten second spurts.
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287. We've landed.
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288. I think left my faucet on too.
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289. - Lois.
- What?
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290. If we are separated,
take this gun.
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291. - You have a gun?
- Oh, just in case.
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292. - You see how I fly.
- Alright.
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293. What're you gonna do?
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294. I'm going to go down
that staircase.
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295. I'll come with you.
I'm very scared.
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296. If you're comin' with me
we'll go through that skylight.
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297. Lex's office is right below it.
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298. Alright. Best we don't
use the stairs
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299. we'll jump
through the skylight.
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300. You know how
I like do things strangely.
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301. Alright.
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302. - The skylight's louder.
- Alright.
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303. Won't I cut myself on all those
shards of broken glass?
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304. No. I'll
hold you up with my
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305. super ten-second-spurt
flying powers.
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306. Alright.
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307. - Hang on.
- Alright.
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308. Uh-oh!
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309. - Ow!
- Crap!
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310. Oh, my goodness, look!
Luthor has built a giant robot.
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311. Shh! I think it's sleeping.
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312. Say, you don't think
it's activated by this button?
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313. Don't touch that.
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314. No, I guess not.
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315. (Drew)
'Sharon and Karen..'
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316. I'll tell you two good things
that came out of this.
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317. You're gonna be famous
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318. with your friends and neighbors
for a couple of weeks
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319. and the second thing now you
know who Ryan and Colin are.
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320. 'Let's go on to a game..'
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321. This is a really great game
called "Show Stopping Numbers"
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322. 'for Colin, Ryan, Wayne
with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor.'
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323. 'Colin and Ryan are gonna start.
Later you're gonna come in.'
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324. 'Somebody from
the audience give me'
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325. uh, give me a suggestion
for a boring place to work.
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326. - Funeral home.
- Bank.
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327. (Drew)
'Bank.'
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328. Bank, bank,
bank, bank, bank.
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329. 'Uh, you guys work in a bank.'
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330. 'Now during the scene,
I'm gonna buzz in and when I do
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331. the last one
to talk has to break into
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332. a big show stopping number
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333. uh, using the last line
that he said.
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334. And you guys work at a bank.
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335. Take it away.
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336. - Boy, is this ever borin'?
- Oh, at least you have bills.
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337. All we do all day
is just hand out cash.
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338. I'm incharge
of counting nickels.
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339. I'm gonna
get outta here some day.
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340. I should quit. That's all I hear
from my wife. You should quit.
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341. - Every day.
- What else are you gonna do?
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342. This is no life for me.
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343. - I'm nobody.
- Oh, of course you're somebody.
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344. You are big part ba—
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345. (Wayne)
'Squeaky.'
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346. Can we help you, sir?
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347. Yeah!
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348. - This is here is a stickup.
- Stickup?
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349. Put all your money
in small denominations
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350. into the bag,
just hurry up.
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351. Uh, I got nickels.
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352. Hey, I know that face.
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353. That's Roger from the bakery
shop across the street.
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354. Roger!
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355. (Colin)
'Hey.'
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356. Hi.
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357. If you needed money,
why didn't you just ask?
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358. (Colin)
'What do you need
that money for anyway?'
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359. Well, I wanna open up
my own Tex-Mex restaurant
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360. across the street.
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361. Right next to the bakery.
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362. What're you gonna call it?
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363. Nacho Mama.
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364. Alright, we'll be right back.
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365. Don't go away.
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366. Welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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367. Tonight's winner.
Wayne Brady is the winner.
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368. And, uh, what's gonna
happen is the rest of us
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369. will do a game for you called
"Theme Restaurant"
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370. where Kathy and I are gonna
be people out to dinner
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371. at a restaurant
that has a strange theme
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372. and Ryan and Colin
are our waiters.
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373. - What's the theme there, Wayne?
- Western.
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374. It's
a western themed restaurant.
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375. Listen, uh, honey, I'm so glad
we can get together
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376. for this dinner,
I just can't wait for you—
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377. Pony Express menu.
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378. Ha-ha.
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379. They really do things
quite differently here.
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380. Ah! That's exciting.
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381. Water.
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382. Krick!
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383. - I think he was a desperado.
- Ha-ha! Oh, Drew.
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384. Call me a horse thief
or something like that.
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385. Oh, stop that, you're so funny..
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386. This is my table.
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387. What'd you want?
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388. Hmm, I was wondering
what the soup of the day is?
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389. - I'll check.
- Okay.
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390. I thought, if we could,
maybe get a, uh
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391. uh, some more bread
over here, please.
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392. Geez! Why d'you have to—
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393. Yeah, you know this is why..
The-the best think I like is
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394. we might be in Indian territory.
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395. No, don't scare me now.
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396. It's the wild west.
You never know.
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397. - Oh, no.
- Aah! Aah!
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398. (Ryan)
'You decided?'
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399. Oh, we decided, yes.
Uh, is your horse fresh?
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400. I hate to do that,
but he was sufferin'.
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401. - I'll have the horse.
- Right.
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402. I won't have anything.
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403. Boy, a lot of things
happen here.
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404. Trouble in the kitchen. We'll
have to circle these tables.
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405. What's goin' on?
What happened?
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406. Are we in any kind of danger?
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407. It's the Indian restaurant
across the street.
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408. We'll be right back with more
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"
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409. Welcome back to
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"
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410. We'll end the show with Colin
Mochrie reading the credits.
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411. Colin, I want you read
the credits as a field reporter
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412. and the others are lizards,
running behind you.
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413. Take it easy. We'll see you
next time. Goodnight.
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414. This whole story
when Dan Patterson
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415. let open the lizard cage.
They're all over the place.
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416. As you can see that's
the winged Arthur Forrest.
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417. Which, oh! You gonna watch out.
It has the longest Drew Carey
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418. you'll ever hope to see.
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419. Oh, and there's the amazing
Ray Miller lizard.
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420. It didn't do much,
but it's really nice to look at.
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421. Look at the tongue
on that Kristan Andrews.
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422. Oh! Did you see that?
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423. They are dangerous.
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424. I think they're
starting to mate.
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425. Let's watch.
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