1. (Drew Carey)
'Good evening, everybody.'
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2. 'And welcome to
"Whose line is it anyway?"'
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3. 'On tonight show, you wouldn't
kick him out of bed'
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4. 'for eatin' crackers,
Wayne Brady.'
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5. 'Oh, in a heartbeat,
Chip Esten.'
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6. 'Oh, would I?
Colin Mochrie.'
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7. 'And not if he was the last
Ryan Stiles on earth.'
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8. I'm your host Drew Carey.
Now let's have some fun.
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9. Everybody.
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10. Thank you very much.
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11. Welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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12. The show where
everything's made up
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13. and the points don't matter.
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14. That's right,
the points are useless
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15. just like public transportation
here in Los Angeles.
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16. 'Uh, let's get
this show going.'
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17. The game called
Weird News Casters.
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18. It's for four of you.
Colin you're the..
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19. '... anchor of
a local news show.'
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20. Uh, Chip you're the co-anchor
on the local news show
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21. and you're gonna be the lion
from the "Wizard Of Oz."
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22. 'But instead of the wizard
givin' you courage'
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23. 'she gave you
an overactive libido.'
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24. 'Wayne, you're doin'
the sports.'
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25. 'You're a desperate caveman.'
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26. You're gonna be
looking for food
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27. a warm cave and a mate.
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28. 'Uh, Ryan, you're doin'
the weather.'
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29. 'You become extremely nervous
when you suddenly discover'
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30. it's the first day
of Ryan hunting season.
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31. 'What you hear the music,
start the news, Colin.'
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32. Welcome to
the 6 o'clock News.
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33. I'm your anchor Lars
of the Red Hot Lovers.
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34. Our top story today.
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35. The Great Flydini
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36. The Shrek Moon Circus
human cannonball
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37. for the last 50 years,
retired yesterday.
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38. When asked if was gonna
be replaced, the circus owner
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39. said "No, it's hard to find
a man of that caliber."
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40. And now, let's go over
to our new co-anchor
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41. the Cowardly Lion.
Cowardly.
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42. Thank you, Lars. Ohh..
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43. Look at this place. It's so
kinda, it's so, it's so..
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44. Whoa!
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45. You're no Dorothy,
but you'll do.
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46. Put it up, put it up,
come on.
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47. Exit stage right.
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48. - Uh—
- Point taken.
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49. Aright then, let's see
what's happening
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50. in the world of sports
with Oog.
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51. 'Oog.'
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52. Rocks fall from the sky.
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53. Must find pretty, pretty woman.
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54. Pretty woman.
Pretty woman.
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55. Thank you, all.
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56. Come by later.
I'll give you a bath.
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57. Well, let's see what's happening
in the world of weather. Ryan.
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58. Well, thank you
very much, Colin.
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59. We've got rain, rain, rain.
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60. Rain till Thursday.
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61. My God! It's Ryan
hunting season.
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62. Hey, you guys got..
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63. Got to be someone else.
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64. I'm afraid you boys
have the wrong person.
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65. That's right, the wrong guy.
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66. Hey, better luck next year.
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67. Damn! It's not working.
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68. Although I sound,
I must..
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69. Well, that's the 6 o'clock news.
See you tomorrow
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70. same time, same news.
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71. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
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72. - What's your name, bud?
- Matt.
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73. A 1,000 points to you, Matt.
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74. Hey, good job, Matt.
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75. Good job, Matt.
That was good.
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76. You, uh, you'd ruin
the guy's life
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77. doing something
like that, you know.
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78. Now, Chip and Wayne
are gonna sing a song
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79. to someone in the audience
with Laura Hall
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80. 'Linda Taylor, Cece Worrall.'
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81. Well, what's
your name, please?
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82. - Mira.
- Mira.
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83. And what do you do
for living, Mira?
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84. I'm a Hebrew teacher
for first grade.
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85. 'Oh, you're first grade
Hebrew teacher.'
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86. 'Come on down here, Mira.'
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87. Mira here, is a first grade
Hebrew teacher.
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88. - Good. Yes.
- 'Yeah.'
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89. 'Hope you know
a lot of words.'
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90. 'Because you're gonna
sing a song to her'
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91. using her and occupation.
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92. I want you to sing a song
to her like a gospel song.
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93. Take it away.
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94. Yay!
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95. Shalom.
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96. Ma shlomcha.
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97. Toda.
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98. Thank you
so much.
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99. Thank you
very much.
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100. Give it up.
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101. Man!
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102. 'Oh, the kids from class
are gonna be glad'
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103. to see you on TV.
1000 points to me, Mira.
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104. 'Thanks a lot.'
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105. I'm so glad that I was
raised speaking Hebrew.
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106. So I was able to do
all those references. Phew.
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107. 'Yeah, because we sit around
speaking Hebrew all day'
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108. back in the hood.
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109. Hey, yo, G-dawg,
baraca-taca-paca.
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110. No, G, maruca-pepe.
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111. What's up?
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112. Now, we have a game
on this Whose Line show
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113. called Whose Line.
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114. 'This is for Ryan and Colin.'
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115. 'I want you to come up
and get your envelope.'
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116. 'Put those in your pockets.'
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117. 'Now, what happens, before
the show, we asked the audience'
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118. 'to write down suggestions
of individual lines and'
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119. Colin and Ryan do the scene,
and they have to use those lines
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120. 'in the scene somewhere.'
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121. The scene is,
moments before sunrise
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122. Buffy the Vampire Slayer..
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123. '... who is Colin.'
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124. You're Buffy, though,
that's a cool chick to be.
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125. - Yeah.
- 'Yeah.'
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126. And you come to kill
Count Dracula Ryan
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127. 'as he is draining
the last drops of blood'
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128. 'from his latest victim.'
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129. So that's the scene.
Take it away.
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130. (Colin)
'Hey, stop it.'
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131. Oh, that doesn't
scare me.
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132. I'm Buffy!
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133. Prince of darkness,
your days are over.
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134. Prepare to die.
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135. I've lived 5,000 years,
and never been killed.
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136. What makes you think
you can do the job?
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137. Because the vampire slayer
motto says I must..
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138. grab the handle, Stella,
and give it a yank.
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139. - Stella is my knife.
- Oh..
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140. You're about
to get yanked.
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141. Oh, like I wasn't
expecting that.
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142. When I teeth're in your neck,
you'll cry for me to stop.
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143. Like all the others,
you'll yell
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144. "No! No! Your fanny
is a masterpiece."
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145. And it is!
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146. Come look at it.
Look at it.
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147. Look at it!
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148. 'Look at it.'
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149. Look at the fanny.
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150. Come to the fanny.
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151. Ah!
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152. No, I will not be tempted
by the fanny of darkness.
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153. Is there nothing I can
say to you to help you
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154. to join the dark side?
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155. I will never join
the dark side.
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156. Why don't you stop
being a vampire?
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157. Why don't you do something
good with your life?
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158. I have no other skills,
this is all know.
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159. You know what? My mother gave me
good advice, and I'll tell you.
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160. (Ryan)
'What?'
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161. "Hoochie mama's comin' home!"
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162. 'Do you understand, count?'
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163. I think I do.
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164. Hoochie mama's
comin' home.
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165. What you're saying is,
join our side.
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166. Don't do
the nasty deeds you do.
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167. Give up your teeth, come over
and be a normal human.
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168. Is that what you're saying?
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169. 'Cause that's what
I don't wanna do!
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170. Hoochie mama!
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171. Ah.
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172. Alright,
enough with the cracks.
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173. Prepare to meet
your death!
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174. Before I do,
remember these words.
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175. If only
Mira was here.
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176. - It's Transylvanian.
- Oh.
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177. And what it means is
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178. "Who let the dogs out?"
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179. We'll be right back
with more Whose Line.
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180. Don't go anywhere.
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181. Hey, welcome back, everybody.
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182. Welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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183. The show that gives
Colin Mochrie a reason to live.
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184. 'We're gonna keep
the show going'
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185. with a game
called Greatest Hits.
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186. It's for everybody.
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187. Laura Hall, Linda Taylor,
Cece Worrall
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188. 'Colin, Ryan, Wayne, Chip. Come
on down here, really quick.'
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189. (Drew)
'Somebody from the middle
of the audience here..'
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190. give me a name
of an exciting European city.
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191. - Rome.
- Venice.
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192. Rome! That's one
we haven't done, Rome.
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193. Let's do Rome.
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194. - Rome sounds very exciting.
- 'Yeah, it is.'
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195. Can't wait to see
how you do it.
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196. Let's hear the songs of Rome.
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197. - Hey, Colin.
- Hey, Ryan.
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198. What do you call
an Italian nomad?
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199. - A wanderer?
- No, he's a Roman.
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200. Ha ha ha!
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201. And you know..
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202. we've assembled,
52 songs on 52 CDs
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203. all about
the wonderful city of Rome.
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204. A place
I've never been.
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205. No, but we've
heard about it.
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206. Oh, have we?
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207. Oh, it's been around
for a hundred years.
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208. At least.
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209. - And backwards, it's "Emor."
- I didn't know that.
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210. A little fun fact.
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211. Did you know that Embargo,
backwards, is "O-grab-me"?
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212. Boy, you've thought of
that one a long time ago.
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213. You know, I know you weren't
around for the swing era.
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214. But, I bet you grew up
watching a lot of television.
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215. - I did indeed.
- And you know what?
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216. A lot of television stars
made the switch
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217. from television
to recording artists.
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218. Oh, in the swing thing.
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219. No, that has nothing to do
with the swing thing.
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220. Oh, I'm sorry.
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221. That was just like
a little fun fact.
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222. People like William Shatner,
David Sol, John Travolta
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223. all had their records.
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224. And they all swing?
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225. You watched way too much
television, didn't you?
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226. - Told ya.
- I know, Gilligan.
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227. You know..
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228. that one of
the most successful..
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229. going from television
to recording—
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230. Now I see where
you're heading. Okay.
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231. - Of course, "The Brady Bunch."
- Oh.
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232. - I had the hots for Alice.
- Oh, I know.
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233. Sorry, I was just working
with the visual.
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234. But they're a great song
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235. and I'm sure you'll be
singing along with this cut.
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236. - It's not.
- Yup, beats the heck out of me.
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237. I wonder what
they're up to now.
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238. I don't know.
Hey, you know a fun fact?
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239. Nobody noticed when Wayne
took over the role of Peter
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240. for the Brady Bride's
come back.
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241. Oh, I did not
know that.
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242. You know... I was alive
in the 60s
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243. although, I was
a very young boy.
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244. But I used to listen
to my parents listening..
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245. listening to
rhythm and blues.
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246. 60s rhythm and blues,
my favorite.
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247. - I have nothing to add.
- Okay.
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248. And I think one of my favorite
60s rhythm and blues
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249. romantic songs has to be,
"My Tower Is Leanin'."
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250. We'll be back with more
"Whose Line." Don't go away.
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251. Hey, welcome back, everybody.
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252. I had a good time with
everybody. I hate to do this
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253. but you gotta do an Irish
drinking song. Come on.
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254. 'Laura Hall on piano,
Laura Hall.'
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255. Finally, Drew
gets his revenge.
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256. Do an Irish drinking song
for us, everybody.
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257. What I need from
the center part of the audience
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258. 'give me bad thing to happen
to you on a date.'
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259. (female #1)
'Fell out of the car.'
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260. Fell out of the car.
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261. 'Thank you.
Fell out of the car.'
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262. 'So, we're gonna hear'
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263. the "Fell out of a car"
Irish drinking song.
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264. Take it away, Laura Hall.
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265. We'll be back with more
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266. "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
after this. Don't go away.
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267. Everybody, welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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268. 'Tonight, who's the winner?'
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269. 'Who's the winner tonight?
It's a four-way tie.'
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270. 'I want you to do
the credits as'
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271. trash talking
basketball players.
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272. Thanks for watching.
Goodnight. See you next time.
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273. Are you guys ready
to play or not? Let's go.
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274. Hey, don't be
pushin' my rear mullet.
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275. Oh, I'm sorry, man.
you know..
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276. I'm sorry, man.
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277. You want
some of this?
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