Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x5

Directed by

Brad Sherwood as Self

Guest comic Brad Sherwood.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. (Drew) 'Good evening, everybody.'

2. 'And welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

3. 'On tonight's show, a man called horse, Wayne Brady.'

4. '"Dances With Wolves," Chip Esten.'

5. 'Shame, Colin Mochrie.'

6. 'And Paddle Queen of Montana, Ryan Stiles.'

7. I'm Drew Carey. Come on down. Let's have some fun.

8. Oh, man.

9. Hello. Hi, everybody. Thank you.

10. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

11. Where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

12. That's right, the points are like those chaint pips

13. you ate as a kid.

14. I'm sorry, I mean, uh, paint chips.

15. 'Paint chips is what I meant to say.'

16. We have a lot of show for you tonight.

17. We're gonna get things rolling right along

18. with our first great game called "Song Titles."

19. fallen out with song titles, really.

20. It's a really hard game to play.

21. It's also a really good party game you can play at home

22. if you live long enough to know a few song titles.

23. They have to start a scene

24. 'and they can only speak in song titles.'

25. Not song phrases, titles.

26. And I'll buzz you out when you go wrong

27. and the other person takes his place.

28. We'll see who'll stay the longest.

29. Scene is, "You're at an office Christmas party"

30. and the party is in full swing

31. and you can only speak in song titles.

32. Go ahead.

33. "Blue Moon."

34. "Dark Side Of The Moon."

35. "Shine On Harvest Moon"

36. You feel lucky?

37. I was hoping he'd just go for it.

38. "Margaritaville."

39. Mmm. "Good King Wenceslas."

40. "Hard Day's Night."

41. "Ten Cents A Dance?"

42. "Hallelujah."

43. "Dancing Queen."

44. "O Canada."

45. "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing."

46. Really?

47. "I Wanna Rock And Roll All Night And Party Every day."

48. "Nine To Five."

49. "Twenty-Five or Six to Four."

50. Hut.

51. "Let The Music Play."

52. "It's Raining Men."

53. "She Works Hard For The Money."

54. "Roxanne."

55. "Lucille."

56. "Maybelline."

57. "Long Tall Sally."

58. "Brown Sugar."

59. "Jumping Jack Flash."

60. "Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto."

61. "Color My World."

62. What goes up must come down.

63. "Hello."

64. "Welcome Back."

65. "I'm The Walrus."

66. "Mean Mr. Mustard."

67. "Red Red Wine?"

68. "Love Love Me Do."

69. "Eight Days A Week."

70. "One Bourbon One Scotch One Beer."

71. "One Is The Loneliest Number."

72. I'll give you each 2,000 points for that.

73. And 3,000 points for Colin. He kicked ass in that game.

74. 'That's a really hard game to play.'

75. 'That was good, man.'

76. 'Okay, now!'

77. Time to play a game called "Two Line Vocabulary."

78. This is for Colin, Wayne and Ryan.

79. 'In this game, they're gonna do a scene.'

80. However, Ryan and Wayne can only say two lines.

81. They're gonna have to say one of their two lines.

82. 'The two lines you are allowed to say..'

83. 'Wayne, your lines are "I'm right behind you"'

84. 'and "What about me?"'

85. 'Ryan, your lines are, "What did you say?"'

86. 'and "Hey, lighten up."'

87. Ah, the scene is, "Colin is leading two passengers

88. 'Wayne and Ryan, to safety on the capsized SS Poseidon.'"

89. So go ahead and take it away.

90. We're on the top, which means we're on the bottom.

91. We have to head to the bottom which is the top.

92. - I'm right behind you. - What'd you say?

93. I said, we're on the top which is now the bottom.

94. - The boat capsized. - What about me?

95. Well, you seem to understand it.

96. The big dumb guy didn't, I'm explaining.

97. - Hey, lighten up. - Okay, sorry, alright.

98. You know what? I'm a little tense, we're in a capsized boat

99. the water's starting to leak in—

100. - I'm right behind you. - Okay.

101. - What'd you say? - He said he's right behind me.

102. Okay, let's go up these stairs here.

103. What'd you say?

104. I said, let's go up these stairs here.

105. - What about me? - Yeah, it's the same.

106. All of us are going up the same stairs.

107. - I'm behind you. - I know.

108. We're going up the stairs, we're going to the top.

109. - What'd you say? - We're going to the top.

110. - Hey, lighten up. - You lighten up.

111. - Lighten up. - You shut up.

112. Alright, this is what we're going to do.

113. We're going to go up..

114. Oh, okay, the stairs are upside down.

115. That's a problem. Where are you going?

116. - What'd you say? - We're going up the stairs.

117. - We can't go up the stairs. - I'm right behind you.

118. Okay, listen.

119. Get that rope.

120. - What'd you say? - Get that rope.

121. - What about me? - Yeah, you get the rope too.

122. Whoever can get the rope, get the rope.

123. - Hey! Lighten up. - You shut up!

124. What did you say?

125. Okay, I'm gonna throw it up there in that ledge there.

126. What about me?

127. You, okay. Obviously you're the better thrower.

128. - You throw it up there— - Hey, lighten up.

129. - What'd you say? - What'd you say?

130. No, forget it.

131. - Alright. - I'm right behind you.

132. Alright... wait. Okay, wait, I can't pull you all up.

133. - What'd you say? - I can't pull you all up.

134. - What about me? - No, listen. Listen!

135. What'd you say? What did you say?

136. Thousand points to each.

137. That was, uh, Two Line Vocabulary.

138. Also known as the "Drive Your Parents Crazy" game.

139. Don't tell them you're gonna play.

140. Just pick two lines you're gonna say all day long.

141. What about me? Hey, lighten up. What about me? Hey, lighten up.

142. Okay, our next game is called "Duet."

143. This is for Chip and Wayne

144. 'with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Cece Worrall.'

145. You in the white sweater, what's your name please?

146. Lily.

147. - What do you do for a living? - I'm a crossing guard.

148. Come on down here. Nice to see you.

149. Lily here is a crossing guard.

150. You guys are gonna sing a song to Lily the crossing guard.

151. I want you to sing to her like the Backstreet Boys.

152. (Drew) 'Alright, Lily! Thank you very much.'

153. We'll be right back. Don't go away.

154. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

155. Where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

156. Hey!

157. Who's making love to your old lady while you're making love?

158. That's me.

159. 'We're gonna keep this show going'

160. with a game called "Action Replay."

161. This game is a great game.

162. 'Wayne and Chip are gonna act out a scene.'

163. Ryan and Colin are gonna put on this headphones

164. 'cause they can't hear the dialogue.

165. And then..

166. 'And they're gonna have to reenact the scene'

167. using all the same body movements.

168. Of course they've to make up their own dialogues.

169. They don't know what the scene's about.

170. 'So here's your scene.'

171. "Uh, two campers get dressed in the morning

172. and discover that insects have crawled into their clothes."

173. Get up, buddy.

174. Time to go skinny dippin'.

175. Spishh!

176. Hoo!

177. Ahh!

178. Hoo, ahh.

179. Wow, this is nice, since you're fresh.

180. - This is the life, huh? - Yeah, absolutely.

181. Hoo!

182. - Let's g.. Uh, aah! - Hold on.

183. Ahh!

184. - Hey, you too? - Oh, yes, absolutely.

185. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

186. It's in my pants. No, my butt.

187. - Oh, mine.. - No, no.

188. - I'm gonna get you. - No, no, I'm okay.

189. - I know what to do. - Okay. Yeah, yeah.

190. My butt, my butt, my butt.

191. Oh! It's on my chest.

192. It's on my chest.

193. Wait, wait, wait.

194. They're on your forehead.

195. Quick, quick, quick.

196. 'Go ahead and reenact the scene and good luck.'

197. Yeah, thanks.

198. Uh, looks like your muffler's gone.

199. I just put it up there.

200. - Oh, really? - Yeah.

201. I hang all the parts up here.

202. Here's a muffler up here, tail pipe and another muffler.

203. What are all these things? I can use those in the car.

204. - These things here? - Yeah.

205. I don't know what they are, I never noticed those before.

206. - Oh! - What?

207. A spark from the torch!

208. Oh, my God. Get it out!

209. - Get it out! - I'll put it out!

210. Are you okay? Get down on the floor.

211. Get down on the floor, try to put it out.

212. Oh, my God. It's out here too.

213. Roll on the ground it's on your front.

214. Roll on the ground. Roll on the ground

215. - I saved your life. - Oh, you did.

216. I saved your life.

217. Thank you.

218. Colin Mochrie!

219. Oh, wow!

220. Man! Who says pale Canadians can't break dance?

221. Yeah!

222. - 'Get a little, you know..' - Wow.

223. Throw a piece of cardboard, let him go.

224. - 'We'll just have a little—' - You and Alfonso Ribeiro.

225. Yeah.

226. Thousand points to Colin, man.

227. The amazing break dancing Canadian.

228. Two words you'll never hear in the same sentence.

229. 'Break dance and Canadian.'

230. Let's go on with a game called "Greatest Hits."

231. This is everybody. Everybody in the cast.

232. 'Ryan, Colin, Chip, Wayne'

233. 'Worrall, Linda, Cece.'

234. 'Everybody.'

235. Now, what I need from the audience..

236. Somebody from this middle section

237. give me a reason to move away from home.

238. Pregnancy.

239. 'Pregnancy. Pregnancy. Pregnancy.'

240. You guys are gonna be TV voice-overs

241. 'trying to sell a compilation album.'

242. The compilation album is called "Songs Of Pregnancy."

243. Hi, we'll be right back to our wildlife documentary

244. "Tupac, The Llama Who Loved Tobacco," in just a second.

245. Hey, what are you doing, Ryan?

246. Just practicing my breathing exercises, Col.

247. Oh, don't tell me you're in the family way.

248. No. I'm a man. But my wife is.

249. Oh!

250. Yeah, it's the most exciting time of my life.

251. Could it be more exciting than this 25 CD set

252. that we're selling?

253. All songs based on pregnancy

254. and the incredible pain women go through?

255. Wow, that makes the birth of my child look second-rate.

256. Yeah.

257. You know, there're so many hits on this, uh

258. this CD set, did you say?

259. What the hell, if it was meat

260. it'd be hard to fit in the machine.

261. Wow! That goes so well with the whole pregnancy thing.

262. You know..

263. Makes you think, doesn't it?

264. - Mm. - Yeah.

265. No, let's not do that then.

266. You know, if you order absolutely now

267. there's nothing we can do about it.

268. Ha ha.

269. You know, Britain has had a major influence in rock music

270. hasn't it?

271. From the Beatles to other guys from Britain.

272. I didn't know that.

273. I didn't know the Beatles were from Britain.

274. - Yeah. - Oh.

275. Anyway, one of my favorite British bands

276. is on this album doing one of the best pregnancy songs

277. I've ever known.

278. - Who? - The Clash.

279. Oh!

280. And boy, once you've heard this song

281. you'll be going out and gettin' someone pregnant right away.

282. Well, not you.

283. But..

284. who can forget that great Clash song..

285. "... I Know You Don't Look Fat."

286. There's songs from all over the world on this CD set.

287. Songs from Jamaica, a place I've never been

288. but I've often wondered about.

289. You know, here we pronounce it Reggie.

290. There they pronounce it Reggae.

291. And I think one of my favorite Reggae songs of all time

292. has to be "You Wanna Cut The Cord?"

293. We'll be right back on "Whose Line?" Don't go away.

294. Welcome back!

295. Welcome back back back!

296. Welcome back! Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

297. (Drew) 'Uh, we're gonna keep the show going'

298. with a game called "Doo Wop."

299. Uh, in this Wayn.. I-in this game

300. 'Wayne, Chip and Colin'

301. In this Wayne game, Chip and Colin.

302. - I love you. - I love you, too.

303. You guys are gonna be singing as a 50s doo wop group.

304. They're gonna each sing a verse of the song

305. and the other two are gonna do the backup

306. with the help of Laura Hall, Linda Taylor and Cece Worrall.

307. The all babelicious "Whose Line" trio.

308. What I need from the audience is a suggestion

309. for a woman's name.

310. (female #1) 'Katrina'

311. 'Lola!' 'Lucy.'

312. Lola. And give me a hobby, some of your hobby you'd like to do.

313. (Drew) 'Golf.'

314. Golf, golf. I heard golf. Okay.

315. 'They're gonna be singing a song about Lola'

316. who died tragically in a freak golf accident.

317. (Drew) 'Take it away with a doo wop song.'

318. Gotta take a commercial.

319. We'll be right back in "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

320. Bop-bop-bop-bop..

321. Welcome back!

322. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" tonight!

323. 'Everybody doin' the credits for us.'

324. I want y'all to read the credits as

325. if you're school kids jumping rope.

326. Thanks for watching, everybody. Goodnight.

327. Oh, sorry.

328. It's alright.

329. (Drew) 'You got it.'