Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x6

Directed by

Gary Anthony Williams as Self • Adam Rippon as Self

Guests: comedian Gary Anthony Williams and Olympian Adam Rippon. Games performed: Dating App, Mixed Messages, Song Styles, World’s Worst, Living Scenery, Scenes from a Hat.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. (Drew Carey) 'Good evening, everybody'

2. 'and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

3. 'On tonight's show, Habla Espanol? Wayne Brady.'

4. 'Parlez-vous Francais? Kathryn Greenwood.'

5. 'Sprechen sie Deutsch? Colin Mochrie.'

6. 'And, hey, don't you speak English? Ryan Stiles.'

7. And, I'm your host Drew Carey. Come on, let's have some fun.

8. Whoo!

9. Hello, everybody, nice to see you.

10. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

11. The show where everything's made up, and the points don't matter.

12. That's right. The points are like 4th of July in England.

13. 'It doesn't matter.'

14. We're gonna start off with a game called..

15. Let's Make A Date.

16. Kathy, you'll be appearing on a dating type show.

17. 'Unfortunately, all we have for you to choose from'

18. 'is Ryan, Colin and Wayne.'

19. 'We've given them each a strange characteristic identity.'

20. 'You have to guess it.'

21. 'I'm right here, I just cannot wait for Ryan's.'

22. 'So whenever you're ready, go ahead.'

23. (Kathryn) 'Okay.'

24. Um, Bachelor #1, someday I hope to work

25. 'with the sick and needy, unless they're contagious'

26. 'but, um, wha-what are your goals in life?'

27. Shh! Stop!

28. Talking too much! All this droning! You move!

29. Ah! Stop! Stop! I'm hungry.

30. Where are my 4,000 kids?

31. I am hu... Mmm-mm-mm.

32. Ooh, excuse me.

33. (Kathryn) 'Thank you.'

34. Bachelor #2, um, if I were baby seal

35. 'and somebody was bashing in my head, how would you stop them?'

36. Seals? I don't care!

37. I need the open highway.

38. Ooh! Oh!

39. This is a good fit.

40. Oh! Let me..

41. be your hog companion on the road to life.

42. Oh! Oh! Oh!

43. (Kathryn) 'Thank you.'

44. It's your name.

45. (Kathryn) 'Thank you very much, Bachelor #2.'

46. Bachelor #3, my friends say I'm very perky.

47. 'What characteristics are important to you in a women?'

48. Well..

49. Get off of her.

50. You heard me, get off of her!

51. Get off!

52. Sorry, I can't stand it to see a man treat somethin' that way.

53. Okay.

54. Yes!

55. Oh! I'll be your Hell's Angel, baby.

56. - 'No!' - Yes.

57. No.

58. Oh, King, I love you.

59. Bachelor, hmm—

60. At this moment, I'm the happiest man in the world.

61. I do. You do? I do.

62. Push, honey, push!

63. Well, Kathryn Greenwood, I know you loved the games

64. but you have to guess what people are.

65. That's your favorite, strongest thing you do.

66. 'Who are they?'

67. I would say, Bachelor #1 is an amorous queen bee.

68. 'Yeah.'

69. Bachelor #2, are you a wild and crazy leather jacket?

70. No.

71. Oh, I thought I had that one.

72. You're a, sorry, you're a—

73. - Biker chick. - 'You are a biker.'

74. - Chick. - Chick.

75. - You're a biker chick. - Yes.

76. Boy, Bachelor #3, you're obsessed with furniture?

77. No, not exactly.

78. A specific piece of—

79. You are obsessed with seats, stools.

80. Tha-that Colin is sitting on.

81. That Colin is sitting on.

82. Thousand points to Kathy.

83. I got to say, next to watchin' you dance

84. watchin' you guess, is my favorite thing to do.

85. He's a jacket.

86. I really thought I had that one.

87. Oh, 'cause he was drapin' himself over..

88. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

89. Now, let's go on to a game called "Whose Line."

90. This is for Colin and Ryan.

91. 'We actually have a game called "Whose Line"'

92. 'on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

93. This is Colin's.

94. Ryan, keep this in your pocket. Don't look at 'em.

95. Once in a while, we ask the audience to write things down.

96. 'We have 'em write random lines that people say in a scene.'

97. 'They're not gonna look at 'em, but they have to use the lines.'

98. They've to find an excuse to put 'em in the scene.

99. The scene is Indiana Jones played by Ryan.

100. And his feisty female companion played by Colin.

101. 'You know, you always the female companion'

102. but at least, you're feisty or somethin'.

103. - Yes, that's great. - 'Yeah.'

104. Uh, you're trapped in a snake-infested Egyptian tomb

105. and their torches are about to go out.

106. Uh-oh! Wonder what's gonna happen?

107. Damn snakes!

108. - You aren't scared of snakes? - I'm feisty!

109. Look, I'm sorry I got you into this.

110. Ow! Watch what you do with that thing.

111. - Sorry. - Oh, Indy, I love you.

112. - Really? - Sure, what the heck.

113. - It's too late to tell me now. - How're we gonna get out?

114. Wait.

115. Small hole with light coming through up there.

116. Oh!

117. We could wander up there, and you and I could get..

118. - Ah! - I'm sorry.

119. You alright?

120. I'm sorry.

121. You're stepping on the snakes! You're stepping on the snakes!

122. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not good with a torch.

123. You're not good with women either.

124. Just as a little tip, if you want someone to feel loved with

125. don't stick a torch in their face!

126. I didn't say the right words to you, is that right?

127. That's right. You should've been tender.

128. You should've looked into my eyes and said..

129. "Let me strip for you, big boy."

130. Except—

131. I'd have been calling you "boy", and you'd have been upset.

132. No, I wouldn't have, because I'm very in touch with my inner boy.

133. Alright, well... sir.

134. Well, that's just silly.

135. Look, we're gonna get out of here.

136. - Alright. - I wanna..

137. Well, I wanna have your kid someday

138. since we're playing the weird, goofy game.

139. That's right! I wanna be the girl in the relationship.

140. Alright.

141. I wanna be the one that get up in the morning

142. roll you over and say, "You are a one ugly women."

143. I have never been this hot in my life.

144. But first, let's get out of here.

145. Right.

146. I didn't.. Wait. My whip.

147. With my whip, I can try to snag that stump stickin'

148. out of the hole and pull ourselves up.

149. - The stump by the little hole? - Yes.

150. What's wrong? My torch is out.

151. Your whip! Your whip!

152. Your whip! The whip went in my eye.

153. If you're gonna complain about everything

154. I'll crawl out the hole myself.

155. Oh-oh! Just think, you're gonna get sex later.

156. You're not?

157. - My father was right about you. - Oh?

158. Yeah, he said that girl, that girl you're with..

159. "Time to make a booty call."

160. And I had no idea what that meant.

161. So I didn't make a booty call.

162. You take the whip, you crawl out yourself.

163. I'll stay and fight the snakes.

164. Give me your torch, it's in your pocket.

165. Now, you're probably on fire.

166. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

167. Take this whip. Climb out, I'll hold the snakes back.

168. I can't go without you.

169. Oh, look a door.

170. Come here.

171. I'm glad that adventure's over.

172. I was a fool.

173. Sometimes I..

174. Wait a minute.

175. These are rubber snakes.

176. You've done this to get me here, haven't you?

177. I did.

178. Uh, you seemed to be a little intimidated

179. by my feistiness, and I thought maybe this would help you

180. say the words every girl wants to hear.

181. Those ones I've said already.

182. Come on, spit it out.

183. I want you once again, after this great adventure

184. and you are very brave.

185. - Are you alright? - I'm alright.

186. I want you- Jus-just rub me like that.

187. And I want you to lean over and whisper into my ear

188. "Rub my rump and call me Lois."

189. We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It.."

190. Don't go anywhere.

191. Welcome back, welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

192. And a special welcome back to all you people

193. in the important 18 to 49 age group.

194. This is a great game. I love this game.

195. We're goin' to play a game called "Dead Bodies."

196. This is for Colin, Ryan, and Kathy.

197. - Hi, what's your name? - Kelsy.

198. Kelsy, come on down here. Kelsy, say hi to Ryan and Colin.

199. It's a pleasure to meet you. Go ahead.

200. Have a seat, Kelsy.

201. 'This is Kelsy, everybody.'

202. 'You're goin' to have to pretend you're dead.'

203. For this whole scene.

204. Colin's goin' to manipulate you and stuff 'cause you're dead.'

205. 'You can't move, because you're dead.'

206. Don't worry, I play a woman a lot.

207. 'Ha ha, yeah.'

208. Ryan, Ryan Stiles is also dead.

209. They've come to theatre to act in a play, but they died.

210. However, the show must go on.

211. 'So Colin is goin' act out the scene, as if they're not dead.'

212. 'Kathy will join the scene in progress'

213. and you're gonna die too. Here goes the bodies.

214. Go ahead and die.

215. - Tryin' to get in character. - 'Sleep.'

216. The scene is Bosley, Ryan

217. is being held captive by a beautiful villainess, Kelsy

218. 'who's torturing him with sexual seduction'

219. 'when one of Charlie's Angels' Kathy bursts in to rescue him.'

220. 'Take it away.'

221. You can do anything you want, I will never tell you anything.

222. Once I get through with you, you'll tell me everything.

223. Speak, speak.

224. That was a nice try, but my ears are shielded.

225. Uh, perhaps a long lingering kiss?

226. Perhaps that would loosen your tongue, Mr. Bosley.

227. Hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana.

228. Oh! Ooh, you have such broad shoulders.

229. Ooh, what muscular thighs!

230. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

231. 'What have I done?'

232. What have I done?

233. Alright. I'll talk, I'll talk. What do you want to know?

234. I'll tell you everything, everything, everything.

235. Freeze! Omph.

236. Nobody can do that to Bosley without the Angels around.

237. 'Freeze!'

238. I'm going to fight you. Fight you, fight you, fight you.

239. Using the martial arts that I know so well.

240. Well, I will fight you.

241. Yeah, hot!

242. Ooh! Plunk! Oh!

243. Uhh! Oh!

244. Eh, eh, eh!

245. Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick.

246. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

247. Be easy on her, Angel.

248. There's something about this woman that I like.

249. I think I'm fine.

250. 'Thank you, Kelsy. Thank you, Kelsy.'

251. I tell you, thousand points to Colin.

252. What I wouldn't have given to be around you.

253. Just to watch a young Colin playing with his G.I. Joes.

254. 'Okay, that show was really great man.'

255. Thanks, Kelsy, very much for your help.

256. 'Yeah, Kelsy.'

257. Let's go on to a game called "Greatest Hits."

258. This is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne

259. 'with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Cece Worrall.'

260. Somebody in this far section here

261. give me a job where you work with food.

262. Let's just do fast food worker, how's that? Fast food worker?

263. 'So whenever you're ready, go ahead.'

264. It's called Songs of the fast food Worker.

265. Take it away.

266. Hi, we'll be right back to the commercial

267. we're interrupting in a second.

268. But first, have we got something for you.

269. Hey, Ryan, what's that?

270. I'm a speaker outside a fast food restaurant.

271. Isn't it weird, you can never understand them.

272. - It is. - Life's little ironies.

273. Isn't it? And because of life's little ironies

274. we've come up with a 25-CD set.

275. "Songs of the Fast Food worker".

276. That's right. This CD set weighs almost a quarter pound.

277. - Oh, hey, Col. - Yeah, Ryan?

278. What do you think of when I say straw hats and banjos?

279. Oh, Uncle Phil.

280. Well, I was thinking Dixie Land music actually.

281. Oh, yeah.

282. I don't know if your Uncle Phil was a Dixie Land..

283. Oh, until the restraining order, yeah.

284. Oh! You know, I love Dixie Land.

285. You can't help, but feel up when you hear Dixie Land music.

286. Oh, my foot just go's a-tapping.

287. I think one of my favorite, Dixie Land tunes of all time

288. has to be "You're My Happy Meal and I'm Your Big Mac".

289. And you can vote for your favorite of those three endings.

290. It's true.

291. I think we've covered almost every type of music on this CD.

292. And one that's close to my heart is, of course, rap.

293. - I'm down with that. - Oh, I'm downer.

294. One of my favorite rap artists of all time is Iced Tea.

295. That's right, he's chilly.

296. That's because he lives in Long Island. Ha ha ha.

297. Well, we could go on for hours. Let's just get on to that song.

298. That great rap fast food song.

299. "Fast Food".

300. We'll be right back to find out who the winner is.

301. Don't go away.

302. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

303. Tonight's winner... Kathy Greenwood.

304. Kathy Greenwood's the winner.

305. Kathy-dancin'-Greenwood is the winner.

306. We're goin' to do a game for you called "Props".

307. And let's go to props. This is for Ryan and myself.

308. This is it? Okay.

309. We have to go back and forth think of as many things to do

310. with these props as we can, starting with Wayne and Colin.

311. I'll race you to the egg.

312. Spock, what's your tri-quarter reading?

313. I can't tell if this' the men's room or not.

314. - We are from France. - Yes, we're from France.

315. Airplane.

316. - I think this one's dead. - It is.

317. Because I'm one wild and crazy guy!

318. I'll leave my Colin parked here for half an hour.

319. Oh, Ouija, will I ever find happiness?

320. Yeah, it's 3 o'clock.

321. I am not paying for these.

322. Whoo!

323. Be right back with more "Whose Line..", don't go away.

324. Everybody, welcome back.

325. Tonight, we'll end the show with Ryan Stiles doing the credits.

326. - And Ryan. - Yes, Drew?

327. I want you to do the credits, pretending you're later

328. in your life when your relationship

329. with the stool is on the rocks.

330. Thanks for watching, everybody. Goodnight.

331. I'm not listening to you.

332. If I still loved you, would I be sitting on you like this?

333. Our days are over.

334. Oh! You found someone new, did you?

335. Is that what it is? You found a younger man, didn't you?

336. Well, you won't have a leg to stand on without me.

337. Go ahead, take her. I don't care.

338. She's been nothing but trouble to me.