1. (Drew Carey)
'Good evening, everybody'
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2. 'and welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'
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3. 'On tonight's show,
Habla Espanol? Wayne Brady.'
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4. 'Parlez-vous Francais?
Kathryn Greenwood.'
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5. 'Sprechen sie Deutsch?
Colin Mochrie.'
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6. 'And, hey, don't you speak
English? Ryan Stiles.'
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7. And, I'm your host Drew Carey.
Come on, let's have some fun.
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8. Whoo!
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9. Hello, everybody,
nice to see you.
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10. Welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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11. The show where everything's made
up, and the points don't matter.
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12. That's right. The points
are like 4th of July in England.
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13. 'It doesn't matter.'
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14. We're gonna start off
with a game called..
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15. Let's Make A Date.
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16. Kathy, you'll be appearing
on a dating type show.
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17. 'Unfortunately, all we have
for you to choose from'
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18. 'is Ryan, Colin and Wayne.'
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19. 'We've given them each a strange
characteristic identity.'
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20. 'You have to guess it.'
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21. 'I'm right here,
I just cannot wait for Ryan's.'
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22. 'So whenever you're ready,
go ahead.'
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23. (Kathryn)
'Okay.'
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24. Um, Bachelor #1,
someday I hope to work
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25. 'with the sick and needy,
unless they're contagious'
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26. 'but, um, wha-what
are your goals in life?'
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27. Shh! Stop!
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28. Talking too much!
All this droning! You move!
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29. Ah! Stop! Stop! I'm hungry.
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30. Where are my 4,000 kids?
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31. I am hu... Mmm-mm-mm.
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32. Ooh, excuse me.
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33. (Kathryn)
'Thank you.'
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34. Bachelor #2,
um, if I were baby seal
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35. 'and somebody was bashing in my
head, how would you stop them?'
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36. Seals? I don't care!
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37. I need the open highway.
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38. Ooh! Oh!
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39. This is a good fit.
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40. Oh! Let me..
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41. be your hog companion
on the road to life.
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42. Oh! Oh! Oh!
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43. (Kathryn)
'Thank you.'
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44. It's your name.
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45. (Kathryn)
'Thank you very much,
Bachelor #2.'
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46. Bachelor #3,
my friends say I'm very perky.
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47. 'What characteristics are
important to you in a women?'
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48. Well..
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49. Get off of her.
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50. You heard me,
get off of her!
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51. Get off!
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52. Sorry, I can't stand it to see
a man treat somethin' that way.
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53. Okay.
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54. Yes!
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55. Oh! I'll be
your Hell's Angel, baby.
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56. - 'No!'
- Yes.
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57. No.
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58. Oh, King, I love you.
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59. Bachelor, hmm—
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60. At this moment, I'm
the happiest man in the world.
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61. I do. You do? I do.
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62. Push, honey, push!
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63. Well, Kathryn Greenwood,
I know you loved the games
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64. but you have to guess
what people are.
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65. That's your favorite,
strongest thing you do.
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66. 'Who are they?'
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67. I would say, Bachelor #1
is an amorous queen bee.
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68. 'Yeah.'
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69. Bachelor #2, are you a wild
and crazy leather jacket?
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70. No.
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71. Oh, I thought I had that one.
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72. You're a, sorry, you're a—
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73. - Biker chick.
- 'You are a biker.'
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74. - Chick.
- Chick.
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75. - You're a biker chick.
- Yes.
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76. Boy, Bachelor #3,
you're obsessed with furniture?
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77. No, not exactly.
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78. A specific piece of—
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79. You are obsessed with seats,
stools.
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80. Tha-that Colin is sitting on.
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81. That Colin is sitting on.
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82. Thousand points to Kathy.
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83. I got to say,
next to watchin' you dance
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84. watchin' you guess,
is my favorite thing to do.
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85. He's a jacket.
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86. I really thought I had that one.
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87. Oh, 'cause he was drapin'
himself over..
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88. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
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89. Now, let's go on to a game
called "Whose Line."
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90. This is for Colin and Ryan.
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91. 'We actually have a game
called "Whose Line"'
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92. 'on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'
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93. This is Colin's.
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94. Ryan, keep this in your pocket.
Don't look at 'em.
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95. Once in a while, we ask the
audience to write things down.
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96. 'We have 'em write random lines
that people say in a scene.'
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97. 'They're not gonna look at 'em,
but they have to use the lines.'
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98. They've to find an excuse
to put 'em in the scene.
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99. The scene is Indiana Jones
played by Ryan.
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100. And his feisty female companion
played by Colin.
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101. 'You know, you always
the female companion'
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102. but at least,
you're feisty or somethin'.
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103. - Yes, that's great.
- 'Yeah.'
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104. Uh, you're trapped in
a snake-infested Egyptian tomb
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105. and their torches
are about to go out.
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106. Uh-oh!
Wonder what's gonna happen?
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107. Damn snakes!
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108. - You aren't scared of snakes?
- I'm feisty!
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109. Look, I'm sorry
I got you into this.
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110. Ow! Watch what you do
with that thing.
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111. - Sorry.
- Oh, Indy, I love you.
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112. - Really?
- Sure, what the heck.
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113. - It's too late to tell me now.
- How're we gonna get out?
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114. Wait.
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115. Small hole with light
coming through up there.
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116. Oh!
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117. We could wander up there,
and you and I could get..
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118. - Ah!
- I'm sorry.
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119. You alright?
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120. I'm sorry.
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121. You're stepping on the snakes!
You're stepping on the snakes!
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122. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm not good with a torch.
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123. You're not good
with women either.
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124. Just as a little tip, if you
want someone to feel loved with
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125. don't stick a torch
in their face!
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126. I didn't say the right words
to you, is that right?
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127. That's right.
You should've been tender.
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128. You should've looked
into my eyes and said..
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129. "Let me strip for you, big boy."
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130. Except—
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131. I'd have been calling you "boy",
and you'd have been upset.
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132. No, I wouldn't have, because I'm
very in touch with my inner boy.
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133. Alright, well... sir.
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134. Well, that's just silly.
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135. Look, we're gonna
get out of here.
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136. - Alright.
- I wanna..
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137. Well, I wanna
have your kid someday
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138. since we're playing
the weird, goofy game.
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139. That's right! I wanna be
the girl in the relationship.
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140. Alright.
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141. I wanna be the one
that get up in the morning
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142. roll you over and say,
"You are a one ugly women."
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143. I have never been
this hot in my life.
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144. But first,
let's get out of here.
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145. Right.
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146. I didn't..
Wait. My whip.
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147. With my whip, I can try to snag
that stump stickin'
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148. out of the hole
and pull ourselves up.
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149. - The stump by the little hole?
- Yes.
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150. What's wrong?
My torch is out.
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151. Your whip!
Your whip!
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152. Your whip!
The whip went in my eye.
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153. If you're gonna complain
about everything
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154. I'll crawl out
the hole myself.
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155. Oh-oh! Just think,
you're gonna get sex later.
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156. You're not?
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157. - My father was right about you.
- Oh?
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158. Yeah, he said that girl,
that girl you're with..
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159. "Time to make a booty call."
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160. And I had no idea
what that meant.
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161. So I didn't make a booty call.
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162. You take the whip,
you crawl out yourself.
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163. I'll stay
and fight the snakes.
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164. Give me your torch,
it's in your pocket.
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165. Now, you're probably on fire.
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166. I don't wanna talk
about it anymore.
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167. Take this whip. Climb out,
I'll hold the snakes back.
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168. I can't go without you.
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169. Oh, look a door.
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170. Come here.
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171. I'm glad that adventure's over.
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172. I was a fool.
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173. Sometimes I..
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174. Wait a minute.
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175. These are rubber snakes.
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176. You've done this
to get me here, haven't you?
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177. I did.
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178. Uh, you seemed to be
a little intimidated
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179. by my feistiness, and I thought
maybe this would help you
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180. say the words
every girl wants to hear.
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181. Those ones I've said already.
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182. Come on, spit it out.
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183. I want you once again,
after this great adventure
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184. and you are very brave.
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185. - Are you alright?
- I'm alright.
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186. I want you-
Jus-just rub me like that.
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187. And I want you to lean over
and whisper into my ear
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188. "Rub my rump
and call me Lois."
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189. We'll be right back
with more "Whose Line Is It.."
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190. Don't go anywhere.
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191. Welcome back, welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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192. And a special welcome back
to all you people
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193. in the important
18 to 49 age group.
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194. This is a great game.
I love this game.
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195. We're goin' to play a game
called "Dead Bodies."
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196. This is for Colin,
Ryan, and Kathy.
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197. - Hi, what's your name?
- Kelsy.
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198. Kelsy, come on down here.
Kelsy, say hi to Ryan and Colin.
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199. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Go ahead.
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200. Have a seat, Kelsy.
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201. 'This is Kelsy, everybody.'
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202. 'You're goin' to have
to pretend you're dead.'
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203. For this whole scene.
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204. Colin's goin' to manipulate you
and stuff 'cause you're dead.'
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205. 'You can't move,
because you're dead.'
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206. Don't worry,
I play a woman a lot.
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207. 'Ha ha, yeah.'
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208. Ryan, Ryan Stiles is also dead.
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209. They've come to theatre to act
in a play, but they died.
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210. However, the show must go on.
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211. 'So Colin is goin' act out the
scene, as if they're not dead.'
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212. 'Kathy will join
the scene in progress'
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213. and you're gonna die too.
Here goes the bodies.
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214. Go ahead and die.
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215. - Tryin' to get in character.
- 'Sleep.'
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216. The scene is Bosley, Ryan
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217. is being held captive by
a beautiful villainess, Kelsy
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218. 'who's torturing him
with sexual seduction'
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219. 'when one of Charlie's Angels'
Kathy bursts in to rescue him.'
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220. 'Take it away.'
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221. You can do anything you want,
I will never tell you anything.
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222. Once I get through with you,
you'll tell me everything.
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223. Speak, speak.
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224. That was a nice try,
but my ears are shielded.
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225. Uh, perhaps a long
lingering kiss?
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226. Perhaps that would loosen
your tongue, Mr. Bosley.
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227. Hamana hamana hamana
hamana hamana.
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228. Oh! Ooh, you have
such broad shoulders.
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229. Ooh, what muscular thighs!
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230. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
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231. 'What have I done?'
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232. What have I done?
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233. Alright. I'll talk, I'll talk.
What do you want to know?
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234. I'll tell you everything,
everything, everything.
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235. Freeze! Omph.
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236. Nobody can do that to Bosley
without the Angels around.
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237. 'Freeze!'
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238. I'm going to fight you.
Fight you, fight you, fight you.
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239. Using the martial arts
that I know so well.
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240. Well, I will fight you.
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241. Yeah, hot!
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242. Ooh! Plunk! Oh!
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243. Uhh! Oh!
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244. Eh, eh, eh!
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245. Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick.
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246. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
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247. Be easy on her, Angel.
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248. There's something about
this woman that I like.
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249. I think I'm fine.
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250. 'Thank you, Kelsy.
Thank you, Kelsy.'
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251. I tell you,
thousand points to Colin.
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252. What I wouldn't have given
to be around you.
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253. Just to watch a young Colin
playing with his G.I. Joes.
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254. 'Okay, that show
was really great man.'
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255. Thanks, Kelsy,
very much for your help.
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256. 'Yeah, Kelsy.'
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257. Let's go on to a game
called "Greatest Hits."
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258. This is for Ryan,
Colin, and Wayne
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259. 'with Laura Hall,
Linda Taylor, Cece Worrall.'
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260. Somebody in this
far section here
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261. give me a job
where you work with food.
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262. Let's just do fast food worker,
how's that? Fast food worker?
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263. 'So whenever you're ready,
go ahead.'
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264. It's called
Songs of the fast food Worker.
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265. Take it away.
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266. Hi, we'll be right back
to the commercial
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267. we're interrupting
in a second.
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268. But first, have we got
something for you.
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269. Hey, Ryan, what's that?
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270. I'm a speaker outside
a fast food restaurant.
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271. Isn't it weird,
you can never understand them.
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272. - It is.
- Life's little ironies.
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273. Isn't it? And because
of life's little ironies
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274. we've come up
with a 25-CD set.
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275. "Songs of the Fast Food worker".
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276. That's right. This CD set weighs
almost a quarter pound.
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277. - Oh, hey, Col.
- Yeah, Ryan?
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278. What do you think of when I say
straw hats and banjos?
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279. Oh, Uncle Phil.
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280. Well, I was thinking
Dixie Land music actually.
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281. Oh, yeah.
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282. I don't know if your
Uncle Phil was a Dixie Land..
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283. Oh, until
the restraining order, yeah.
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284. Oh! You know,
I love Dixie Land.
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285. You can't help, but feel up
when you hear Dixie Land music.
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286. Oh, my foot
just go's a-tapping.
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287. I think one of my favorite,
Dixie Land tunes of all time
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288. has to be "You're My Happy Meal
and I'm Your Big Mac".
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289. And you can vote for your
favorite of those three endings.
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290. It's true.
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291. I think we've covered almost
every type of music on this CD.
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292. And one that's close to my heart
is, of course, rap.
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293. - I'm down with that.
- Oh, I'm downer.
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294. One of my favorite rap artists
of all time is Iced Tea.
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295. That's right, he's chilly.
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296. That's because he lives
in Long Island. Ha ha ha.
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297. Well, we could go on for hours.
Let's just get on to that song.
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298. That great rap
fast food song.
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299. "Fast Food".
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300. We'll be right back
to find out who the winner is.
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301. Don't go away.
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302. Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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303. Tonight's winner...
Kathy Greenwood.
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304. Kathy Greenwood's the winner.
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305. Kathy-dancin'-Greenwood
is the winner.
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306. We're goin' to do a game
for you called "Props".
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307. And let's go to props.
This is for Ryan and myself.
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308. This is it? Okay.
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309. We have to go back and forth
think of as many things to do
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310. with these props as we can,
starting with Wayne and Colin.
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311. I'll race you to the egg.
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312. Spock, what's your
tri-quarter reading?
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313. I can't tell if this'
the men's room or not.
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314. - We are from France.
- Yes, we're from France.
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315. Airplane.
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316. - I think this one's dead.
- It is.
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317. Because I'm one wild
and crazy guy!
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318. I'll leave my Colin parked here
for half an hour.
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319. Oh, Ouija, will I ever
find happiness?
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320. Yeah, it's 3 o'clock.
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321. I am not paying for these.
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322. Whoo!
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323. Be right back with more
"Whose Line..", don't go away.
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324. Everybody, welcome back.
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325. Tonight, we'll end the show with
Ryan Stiles doing the credits.
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326. - And Ryan.
- Yes, Drew?
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327. I want you to do the credits,
pretending you're later
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328. in your life
when your relationship
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329. with the stool
is on the rocks.
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330. Thanks for watching, everybody.
Goodnight.
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331. I'm not listening to you.
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332. If I still loved you, would
I be sitting on you like this?
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333. Our days are over.
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334. Oh! You found someone new,
did you?
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335. Is that what it is? You found
a younger man, didn't you?
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336. Well, you won't have a leg
to stand on without me.
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337. Go ahead, take her.
I don't care.
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338. She's been nothing
but trouble to me.
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