Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x7

Directed by

Guest: comic Heather Anne Campbell. Games performed: Let’s Make a Date, Newsflash, Whose Line, Scenes from a Hat, Greatest Hits.

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!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x7 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x7 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x7]
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For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x7 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x7 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. (Drew) 'Good evening, everybody.'

2. 'Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'

3. 'On tonight's show, he's got a Big Mac, Brad Sherwood.'

4. 'He's got a jumbo jet, Wayne Brady.'

5. 'He's a got a whopper, Colin Mochrie.'

6. 'And he's got a whopper junior, Ryan Stiles!'

7. I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on down, let's have some fun.

8. Hello, everybody. Hello, welcome.

9. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

10. The show where everything's made up and points don't matter.

11. The points are like the host on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

12. (audience) Aww!

13. Hey, anybody could do this.

14. Our producers have it freezing in here, it's unbelievable.

15. There's witches backstage

16. dipping their breasts in hot coffee.

17. It is unbelievably cold.

18. It's so cold in here, I can't believe it.

19. Uh, let's start off the show with a game called Superheroes.

20. This is for everybody. Brad, you're gonna start.

21. Ryan, Colin and Wayne will join him.

22. Uh, what we need for Brad is the name of an unlikely superhero.

23. - Somebody from this section. - Cottage Cheese Man!

24. (Drew) 'Cottage Cheese Man.'

25. (Drew) 'Cottage Cheese Man.'

26. And what's the crisis for Cottage Cheese Man?

27. (male # 1) 'It's cold in the studio!'

28. It's cold in the studio, Cottage Cheese Man.

29. What's gonna happen is, he'll think of a name

30. 'for the next guy, and so on.'

31. 'They're gonna be all unlikely superheroes.'

32. It's cold in the studio, Cottage Cheese Man

33. what are we gonna do?

34. Well, I guess I'd better get ready for my swimsuit modeling.

35. Take off my robe, and..

36. Oh, look at my thighs!

37. Oh-h-h!

38. It looks like curded dairy product back there!

39. What am I gonna do? It's so cold

40. and it's starting to form icicles

41. on the back of my cottage cheese thighs!

42. Sorry, I'm late, Cottage Cheese Man.

43. Oh, I see your small curd.

44. I used to be large curd but it's so cold—

45. I know, I know.

46. Good thing you're here, The Narrowly Escapes Death Kid.

47. Pfft! Where did that sandbag come from?

48. Poison darts!

49. Be careful! Look!

50. Look!

51. Oh, I almost got hit with your cottage cheese.

52. Oh, sorry I'm late, but someone stole my sleeves.

53. Oh, thank god... Captain Salmon!

54. Oh, he was coming right at me.

55. Oh!

56. If... if only I were..

57. Captain!

58. Oh, if only I were Cream Cheese Man!

59. Oh, I need to spawn.

60. Sorry, I'm late.

61. Thank God, you're here, Caught In a Wind Tunnel Boy.

62. Is there anything I can do to help? I don't..

63. Help! Help! Help!

64. It's okay! It's alright!

65. Turn off the wind..

66. Whoo!

67. All that activity seems to have heated up the studio.

68. You think that's bad, I have nowhere to sit now.

69. Oh, we can never have anything nice.

70. I'm so thirsty.

71. Colin.

72. (Ryan) More?

73. Cheers!

74. You boys always breaking things with your superhero games.

75. Are we gonna clean that up, or..?

76. It's a lot of water by the electrical circuits.

77. And I'm done with my near-death thing.

78. We gotta chop a block of ice and melt it

79. to get another pitcher of water.

80. (Drew) 'So damn cold in here.'

81. Thank you, Alison.

82. Let's move on to the game called If You Know What I mean.

83. This is for Brad, Colin and Ryan.

84. 'Brad and Colin, you're gonna start off the scene'

85. 'and later, joined by Ryan.'

86. They're gonna do a scene for you

87. where they have to use as many obscure phrases

88. and euphemisms as they can. We'll see what happens.

89. 'Uh, the scene is'

90. three supermarket employees on the night shift.

91. Also the game to play at your work. Take it away.

92. Hey, how you doing, Brad?

93. Good. I'd like you to help me wax these bananas

94. if you know what I mean.

95. I do. I've been busy squeezing the melons

96. if you know what I mean.

97. That'll freeze your grapes, if you know what I'm talking about.

98. I gotta peel a cucumber, if you catch my drift.

99. Not really.

100. Sorry, I'm late. I was markin' a few items down

101. if you know what I mean.

102. Stockin' the shelves, if you know what I mean.

103. That's gross... product, if you know what I mean.

104. Oh-ho-ho.

105. I notice you've been dating the new check-out girl, uh..

106. changing her cash receipts, if you know what I mean.

107. I've been looking for a bargain, if you know what I mean.

108. I hear you've been comin' up a little short

109. if you know what I mean.

110. Well, I got one wheel that seems to wanna go

111. different than the others, if you know what I mean.

112. I guess you don't know what I mean.

113. So, soon you'll be walking down aisle six

114. if you know what I mean.

115. Heard there was a spill in aisle four, if you know what I mean.

116. Hmm, that'll be messy, Mister Mop-It-All

117. if you know what I'm talkin' about.

118. Let's just say, he's in 12 items or less

119. if you know what I mean.

120. You're using the express lane, if you know what I mean.

121. Yeah, I know what you mean.

122. That was great, 1,000 points apiece.

123. Sorry I can't think any better, but my brain's frozen.

124. It's alright.

125. Okay, now, let's go on to a game called..

126. This is a great game. It's called All In One Voice.

127. This is for everybody. With Laura Hall

128. 'Linda Taylor, and Cece Worrall.'

129. 'Colin and Wayne are a team.'

130. Wayne and Brad are a team.

131. Uh, somebody from this far section over here

132. give me the end of a sentence, the first time we... what?

133. (male #2) 'Swam.'

134. Swam. Thank you very much. First time we swam.

135. Uh, these guys will have to sing a duet.

136. Except Colin and Wayne are gonna sing as one voice.

137. 'And Brad and Ryan are gonna sing as one voice.'

138. - 'And, uh—' - Just like in life.

139. And they're gonna sing a duet. It's really fun to watch.

140. They're gonna sing it as Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.

141. 'Colin and Wayne are Lucy, and Ryan and Brad are Ricky.'

142. 'And the name of the song is The First Time We Swam.'

143. 'Take it away.'

144. We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

145. Don't go away.

146. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

147. The show where everything's made up and points don't matter.

148. - It's colder than an airplane. - Still cold.

149. It really is. I feel like I'm in an airplane.

150. Oh, wait a minute.

151. That's better.

152. Now, let's continue the show

153. with a game called Film Dub. This is for all four of you.

154. 'Come on over here and see this monitor.'

155. For all those watching this monitor here

156. and you guys watching in the studio

157. and watching your TVs at home, this is a great game to play

158. while watching old movies on your TV.

159. We took an old movie clip, we'll turn the volume off

160. so these guys have to make up their own dialogue.

161. 'The scene I'd like you to improvise is'

162. a team of suit salesmen are tryin' to make a sale.

163. 'Take it away.'

164. (Ryan) 'I'm tellin' ya'

165. 'these double-breasted suits are not selling.'

166. 'You boys have to put your heads together.'

167. (Colin) 'I want something in a nice seersucker'

168. (Brad) 'I'll show you a seersucker. What about these ties?'

169. 'I can't get rid of 'em. I look like Colonel Sanders!

170. 'What is this? It's an outrage!'

171. (Wayne) 'I sold this one to M.C. Hammer.'

172. (Colin) 'Look at my tie, it's so short—'

173. (Ryan) 'Get rid of all the mohair suits.'

174. 'I don't want the word "hair" in any of our suits.'

175. (Wayne) 'Gentlemen, please. Nothing like the double-breasted'

176. 'seersuckered tweed back.'

177. (Colin) 'Does it come with pants? Two pairs of pants?'

178. 'Three pairs of pants? Four?'

179. (Ryan) 'Look, I don't wanna say that none of us like women.'

180. 'But we're all dressed pretty fancy for guys'

181. 'especially you, blue suit.'

182. (Wayne) 'Hey, look, uh, it's true.'

183. (Ryan) You barely fit in that blue suit of yours.

184. 'You're bursting out like..'

185. (Wayne) 'Bursting out like what?'

186. - 'You heard me.' - 'What?'

187. - 'Like this fly on your—' - 'Like this fly right here?'

188. (Wayne) 'This fly? I will Tae Bo you so quick..'

189. (Ryan) 'Oh! Ah, ah! Oh!'

190. (Wayne) 'Now, I'm sorry that I had to resort to Billy Blanks'..'

191. Unbelievably cold. It's so cold in here, I can't believe it.

192. You'll see people in the audience..

193. 'They've gloves on, that's how cold it is.'

194. Uh, it's very comfortable.

195. Uh, let's go on to a game called..

196. called Sound Effects.

197. This is for Ryan and Colin.

198. 'Ryan and Colin, why don't you come up here and get ready?'

199. Gonna come right behind you, buddy.

200. - Hi. What's your name? - Kathy.

201. Kathy, why don't you go up, stand right by my podium there?

202. - 'What's your name?' - Bina.

203. Bina, come on down here and say hi to everybody.

204. (Drew) Kathy, this is yours.

205. - Nice to meet you. - Welcome.

206. Bina, this is yours. Take that microphone.

207. 'What's gonna happen is, these guys are gonna do a scene.'

208. 'And Bina and Kathy..'

209. Bina, you're gonna do sound effects for Colin

210. 'and Kathy, you're gonna do the sound effects for Ryan.'

211. 'It's gonna be really great.'

212. 'You guys are gonna supply the sound effects.'

213. The scene is, "Two nervous World War II paratroopers are

214. about to leave on a mission to parachute in occupied France."

215. You got that?

216. So, take it away, you guys are doing the sound effects.

217. The helicopter's almost here.

218. Why we're not going on a plane? I don't know.

219. There are so many clasps—

220. They're bombing us!

221. - We're on your side! - We haven't even left yet!

222. Sounds like a bird from the sea.

223. Let me help you with your chute.

224. Better buckle it in front.

225. I've got one of those Velcro things.

226. Alright.

227. Oh, hang on, it sounds like we're taking off.

228. (Bina) 'Mmm... mm-mm..'

229. Here we go.

230. It's best to go really slow, so we confuse the enemy.

231. Now we're up in the air.

232. The engine just stopped.

233. Alright, I think we're getting close. Hook up.

234. Look!

235. - I'm still trying to— - I know.

236. I know you're nervous, but you gotta calm down.

237. Sorry.

238. - Are you ready? - I have to hook up, still.

239. Oh, let me just tie it.

240. - Alright, ready? - Yeah.

241. There must be France underneath it.

242. - How can you tell? - It says France.

243. Those maps are more realistic than you think.

244. - Try to land on those cows. - Alright.

245. - It'll break our fall. - Ready?

246. - I'm ready, Fred. - Go!

247. I'm pulling my chute!

248. Uh-oh.

249. Let me try mine.

250. Nope.

251. I'm completely naked!

252. - Mine might work eventually. - Okay, I used my pants!

253. Thank you.

254. Aim for the cows!

255. Boy, a good.. solid landing.

256. Uh!

257. Oh!

258. - Should've brought a gun. - Yeah.

259. - Alright— - Whoosh.

260. Bees! Bees!

261. Head for the water, the water!

262. Thank you. Thank you very much.

263. - Oh, it's great. - Very well done.

264. Thank you, guys. Thousand points apiece, you guys were great.

265. 'Thank you very much.'

266. Let's go on to a game called Scenes From A Hat.

267. This is for all of you.

268. Take your places, Brad and Wayne, Ryan and Colin.

269. 'Before every show'

270. we ask the audience to write down suggestions.

271. We put the good ones in this hat.

272. Let's see how many of these scenes they can act out for us.

273. 'Starting with..'

274. the curriculum at Hillbilly University.

275. I'm late for Squeal Like A Pig 401.

276. Learning about your mother-daughter.

277. (Drew) 'Alright.'

278. I didn't know the mic was on.

279. Jesus, it's cold in here, isn't it?

280. That's a thousand points to everyone.

281. We'll be back after this commercial.

282. You alright under there?

283. Uh, nightly bedside prayers of Whose Line cast members.

284. Please, Lord.

285. Don't let the Mr. Drew come in my window.

286. Jesus, don't let Wayne knock over the table.

287. Lord, please get me out of my contract that says

288. I must shave my head so they can keep making bald jokes.

289. Lord, please make Ryan stop wearing clown shoes.

290. Lord, please give me ringside seats

291. when Ryan kicks Brad's ass.

292. Please.

293. When we come back, we're gonna find out

294. who the winner is, right here on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

295. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

296. Tonight's winner, Colin Mochrie. Colin Mochrie's the winner.

297. So, we, uh..

298. The rest of us are gonna start the game called Props.

299. We're two teams. You two, me and Ryan.

300. - Give us our props. - There you go.

301. - This for me? - Yeah.

302. - Sorry. - That's alright.

303. What's gonna happen is, we'll go back and forth

304. and think of as many things as we can using these props

305. starting with Wayne and Brad.

306. So, what's the next fight, Mr. King?

307. Because my client is splendiferous

308. in all his multiplikitatoryism

309. I'm gonna be the butt of the century!

310. Well, I say, look at me while I'm talkin' to ya, boy!

311. As the fly approaches the Venus flytrap, it..

312. And then, I'm going to tie you to the railroad track.

313. Before Jim and I divorced..

314. So, what are you sayin'? I'm on fire?

315. Hey, see, it's so cold in here, the shower froze!

316. Thanks for coming into the tunnel of love with me, Drew.

317. As the silver hairy-assed baboon runs through the..

318. Wow. Even they're cold.

319. Damn your are!

320. We'll be right back with more Whose Line after this.

321. Don't go away.

322. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

323. We're gonna have everybody read the credits for you.

324. 'I want you guys to read the credits'

325. like you really are freezing to death.

326. Thanks for watching everybody. Goodnight.

327. Hey, you guys..

328. Drew Carey is the host.

329. Wayne Brady is frozen and so is Colin Mochrie.

330. Steven Blum should turn up the heat.

331. Keith Richmond should get on the mike and tell someone to turn..

332. If I could just..

333. hang... on... a bit.