Prescription: Murder (1968)

1. Composer?

2. I am not, uh, Irving Berlin.

3. More classical than that. No, I am not Berlioz.

4. Another one.

5. I am not Brahms.

6. Are you a famous New York conductor?

7. No, I am not Leonard Bernstein.

8. Are you a famous murderer?

9. Good try. I am not Lizzie Borden.

10. I hope you stump him, darling,

11. because I am running out of B's.

12. All right. Are you a well-known, 18th-century English jurist?

13. A typical lawyer's question, Burt.

14. No, I am not Sir William Blackstone. Cynthia?

15. I pass.

16. You know, every time we play Botticelli with you,

17. I feel like a dropout.

18. Do I see the flutter of white flags?

19. Go ahead. Tell us who it is.

20. No, no, no. Please. Let's keep guessing.

21. We'll be here all night.

22. Come on, Ray.

23. It's very simple. Josef Breuer.

24. Who?

25. Breuer. He and Freud coauthoredStudies on Hysteria.

26. That's unfair, Dr. Flemming You're a psychiatrist.

27. You should have picked someone everyone knew.

28. Well, like who, honey?

29. Last time we played the game

30. you were stumped by Alexander Graham Bell.

31. Has my husband finished

32. dazzling you with his intelligence?

33. Because I have a little surprise for everyone.

34. Everyone ready?

35. Henri at the Denise found out

36. about our anniversary, he insisted.

37. I insist we get at this while it's cold.

38. Oh, how marvelous.

39. I think a toast is in order...

40. to our host and hostess

41. on the 1Oth anniversary of their horrible mistake.

42. Oh!

43. You'd better rephrase that, counselor.

44. Pleasure, Your Honor...

45. to the two finest people I ever knew.

46. Here's to 10 more years of happiness.

47. Excuse me.

48. Bubbly, anybody?

49. Hello.

50. Now?

51. Can't it wait?

52. We're having a party here.

53. All right, I'll be there as soon as I can.

54. Believe me, anything Henri chooses is superb.

55. He's got the best wine cellar in town.

56. Excuse me. Excuse me, dear.

57. What is it, darling?

58. It's a patient, I'm afraid I have to leave.

59. This is our anniversary.

60. But it's an emergency. He's having an anxiety attack.

61. You're not a family doctor.

62. You don't have to go chasing off

63. every time somebody runs out of tranquilizers.

64. Darling, we've been through this before.

65. I won't allow you to leave. We have guests.

66. And they shouldn't see us arguing, should they?

67. Now, make my excuses.

68. I'll try to get back before they leave.

69. Do you love me?

70. How much?

71. This much.

72. Well, actually, I should be strangling you.

73. Why?

74. You know I was giving a party.

75. I had to see you.

76. When I'm alone, I don't know, I...

77. I get confused.

78. Second thoughts?

79. A few.

80. It's a natural reaction under the circumstances.

81. I keep wishing there was some other way.

82. There isn't.

83. But if you talked to her, if I talked to her.

84. Joan, don't be naive.

85. We have one alternative.

86. We decided that a long time ago.

87. It's funny.

88. I can't even picture what she looks like.

89. Are we really so different?

90. Completely.

91. All right, I'm younger than she is, I'm prettier.

92. But, uh, she's probably more intelligent than I am.

93. Mm-hmm.

94. It's a kind of destructive intelligence.

95. Why me? What have I got to offer?

96. A typical actress,

97. too many bit parts and too much ambition.

98. I like ambition.

99. For all the good it's done me.

100. It brought you to me, didn't it?

101. With my nails gnawed off and every neurosis in the book.

102. I was in great shape, wasn't I?

103. It's not a bad shape at all.

104. Ray. Yeah.

105. Ray, you do love me, don't you?

106. Very much.

107. I won't disappoint you tomorrow.

108. I never thought you would.

109. I didn't think you'd be up.

110. Don't bother to undress.

111. You're sleeping in the guest room.

112. I've turned down the bed.

113. Carol.

114. I think you should know I'm calling my lawyers

115. in the morning.

116. It's been a long day.

117. Do we have to start on that again?

118. You'll have to indulge me just this one last time, dearie.

119. It's lucky for you I'm too well-bred to throw a tantrum.

120. All right. Fire away.

121. Six months ago I gave you a choice...

122. between me and your...

123. How shall I put it?

124. Extracurricular activity.

125. I made that choice.

126. I wanted a husband in fact, not just in appearance.

127. If you refused,

128. I'd divorce you.

129. There was a catch to that, as I recall.

130. Well, naturally, you don't think

131. I'm going to make it easy for you?

132. I'd create as much scandal as I possibly could

133. and ruin your practice entirely.

134. Aside from taking every penny that I've got.

135. Those were my terms.

136. You accepted them until tonight.

137. Carol, none of this is necessary.

138. I told you, I was with a patient.

139. Till 1:00 in the morning?

140. What are you doing, giving discount rates?

141. On my way home I dropped by to see Dr. Cobb.

142. He was the referral psychoanalyst,

143. and we discussed the case.

144. Do you really expect me to believe that?

145. Well, call him.

146. What's that going to prove? He's a friend of yours.

147. Well, his wife is a friend of yours.

148. Talk to her.

149. Hang up. Hang up.

150. I haven't seen Cobb for two weeks.

151. Then you've been lying to me.

152. Oh, but not the way you think.

153. Well, I guess the game's up.

154. I stopped by the hospital to see Dr. Rosales.

155. We talked about the trip

156. you and I were going to take to Acapulco.

157. Acapulco?

158. Yeah. We leave tomorrow night.

159. Well, I thought we could use a couple of days in the sun,

160. just you and me.

161. Happy anniversary, darling.

162. Oh, Ray, darling.

163. That's why I stopped in to see Rosales.

164. He's from Mexico, and I thought maybe

165. he could fill me in on what to do

166. when we got there.

167. Why didn't you tell me?

168. Well, I was saving it for breakfast.

169. I wanted it to be a surprise.

170. And I almost ruined it.

171. Oh, darling.

172. Say, you're going to have a big day tomorrow.

173. Why don't you get some sleep?

174. I think I'll read for a while.

175. Ray?

176. You can go in now, Miss Hudson.

177. Thank you.

178. Oh, darling, you're tense.

179. A little.

180. Did you get any sleep last night?

181. No. Well, maybe an hour or two.

182. Take one of these when you get home.

183. What are they?

184. Sleeping pills.

185. I want you to get some rest this afternoon.

186. Can't. I'm working.

187. This is an odd time to be pursuing your career, isn't it?

188. How many chances do I get?

189. It's a good part.

190. Let's concentrate on the part you're playing tonight.

191. You think it'll fit?

192. Might be a little big.

193. Noticeably?

194. No. I don't think so.

195. Shall I take it home with me?

196. No, I don't want you wearing it until it's necessary.

197. Now, this photograph is the best one I have of her.

198. In the others, she's standing off in the distance

199. or wearing sunglasses.

200. Notice the makeup.

201. She uses a heavy eyebrow pencil.

202. What about the wig?

203. I'll get it from the studio makeup department today.

204. They'll never know it's missing.

205. Good.

206. You take that along with you as reference,

207. but be sure you bring it back tonight.

208. Now what about the timing?

209. I'll be at your apartment at 9:00.

210. But no sooner.

211. And how do you get there? Car?

212. You're testing me.

213. Do you mind?

214. No, I suppose we both have to be sure about things.

215. I won't drive. I'll come by bus.

216. I'll get off a few blocks away and walk.

217. Right.

218. Use the back entrance to the garage,

219. then take the service elevator.

220. Apartment number?

221. You're in the penthouse. I ring the bell twice.

222. Anything else?

223. Joan?

224. The sunglasses.

225. Good girl.

226. And a large purse for the dress.

227. Are you sure of everything? Shall I do it over again?

228. No, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

229. Ah, but it'll be fine. I promise you.

230. Just pretend you're working on a role,

231. right down to the props.

232. I'll see you tonight.

233. 10:00. Thank you very much.

234. The plane's leaving on schedule.

235. Then you'd better hurry.

236. Oh, darling, let's not rush.

237. Here, let me help you with that.

238. You're a brilliant man, but you're not very mechanical.

239. That's what wives are for.

240. That, and other things.

241. Burt Gordon called today.

242. Anything important?

243. No, just to wish us a pleasant trip.

244. He could use a vacation himself.

245. You know he's prosecuting two new cases next month?

246. Well, that's what he gets for having political ambitions.

247. Do you remember him when he was in law school?

248. Vaguely.

249. I never saw anybody work so hard, including you.

250. But I didn't have to. My wife had a rich father.

251. And you married me for my money.

252. Not yours, darling. Your father's.

253. I like to think you loved me a little.

254. Didn't you? Of course I did.

255. Yes.

256. Is the maid coming tomorrow?

257. Well, as far as I know.

258. Well, why don't you give her a call and check?

259. Sometimes she forgets.

260. All right.

261. Oh, say, did you see my blue dress?

262. My blue wool? What?

263. My blue wool dress.

264. I was going to take it on the trip,

265. but I can't find it anywhere.

266. Maybe you sent it to the cleaners.

267. Oh, no. It should be in the closet.

268. Where's that address book?

269. Ah!

270. Charlotte? This is Mrs. Flemming.

271. I just wanted to be sure you'd be in tomorrow.

272. Good.

273. Oh, and don't forget to water the plants, huh?

274. You've got your key, huh?

275. Good.

276. Oh, yes. We will.

277. Thank you very much. Bye.

278. She's coming in at 10:00!

279. Good!

280. Drink, darling?

281. No. Set it down, would you?

282. Such a beautiful night, isn't it?

283. I hadn't noticed.

284. Perfect weather for flying. You can see for miles.

285. Do you know what I was thinking?

286. What?

287. When we get back, we must redecorate.

288. The place looks cold. It should have warmer colors.

289. Maybe we should buy some paintings of soup cans.

290. If you think so.

291. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

292. Oh, we're gonna have such a wonderful time

293. the next few days.

294. Does your secretary know where you're going?

295. Only that we're in Mexico.

296. No specifics.

297. Good. Complete privacy.

298. We're going to have a nice, quiet weekend.

299. You'd better close the doors,

300. then change.

301. Oh?

302. Our second honeymoon may be better than our first.

303. Hello.

304. Oh, hello, Burt. How are you?

305. Oh, yeah. Carol told me you called.

306. Oh, fine, fine. We're just leaving.

307. Oh, no. She's, uh... She's dressing.

308. Yes. I'll tell her.

309. I'd better be going now, Burt.

310. Give our love to Cynthia, will you?

311. Right.

312. Joan? Did anyone see you come up?

313. There's a drink on the bar. Take it.

314. No. I... Take it.

315. And I want you to wear these gloves.

316. Don't. Please.

317. I don't need a drink. I'll be all right.

318. Be careful not to touch anything.

319. Did you bring the photograph?

320. The wig?

321. And some shoes to go with the dress.

322. Very good.

323. Put this on. Come on. Get ready.

324. It looks fine.

325. Hmm. It won't fool anybody.

326. Oh, don't be negative.

327. Suppose we meet someone who knows your wife?

328. I don't even look like her.

329. People see what they expect to see.

330. It's the principle of association.

331. You're dressed like Carol. You're traveling with me.

332. That means you are my wife.

333. Are we ready?

334. Not yet. Make your call to the cleaners.

335. What are you waiting for?

336. Well, won't they be closed this time of night?

337. They're open till midnight.

338. Rodeo Cleaners?

339. This is...

340. This is Mrs. Flemming,

341. Cumberland Apartments on Wilshire.

342. I have a bundle of laundry and some things to clean.

343. It'll be outside the door.

344. I'm leaving it outside the door.

345. Will you have someone pick it up

346. first thing in the morning?

347. Thank you.

348. Fine. The sunglasses.

349. Where are they?

350. I know I had them.

351. Good.

352. Now, put these on.

353. Why?

354. She always wore them with that dress.

355. When you get back from the airport,

356. add the dress and the gloves to that bundle.

357. What about the wig?

358. I'll return it Monday. No one will know I have it.

359. Fine. Are you ready?

360. I think so.

361. Let's get started.

362. Light.

363. Dr. And Mrs. Ray Flemming, ticketed on 12A.

364. Thank you.

365. Afraid you're 13 pounds overweight, doctor.

366. Put it on my credit card, would you?

367. Mrs. Flemming?

368. Carol.

369. Mrs. Flemming?

370. Yes.

371. Will you be carrying any hand luggage aboard?

372. No.

373. Will you sign here, please, doctor?

374. Thank you very much.

375. That'll be at Gate 35,

376. boarding in about 3 minutes.

377. Have a pleasant trip, sir.

378. Thank you.

379. ( on PA ) Flight number 12A

380. for Acapulco is in the final boarding process

381. at Gate number 35.

382. Passengers having reservations

383. for this flight should be on board.

384. May I have your names, please?

385. Dr. And Mrs. Flemming.

386. All right.

387. Um, Aisle 3, Seats A and B.

388. Thank you.

389. Remember.

390. Don't call or try to get in touch with me.

391. I'll reach you.

392. When will I see you?

393. Oh, not for a while. At least a week.

394. Ray, I'm worried.

395. Well, don't be. Just try to get some rest.

396. And don't read the papers. They'll upset you.

397. Shall we get started?

398. What should I say?

399. You're an actress, darling. Improvise.

400. If you feel that way, why'd you agree to come along?

401. That's a good question. I really don't know.

402. You never wanted to take this trip in the first place.

403. Can you blame me?

404. What am I supposed to do,

405. sit in our room while you go fishing?

406. Maybe you'd rather not go at all.

407. Maybe I wouldn't.

408. Fine, spend the weekend with your friends

409. and run up a nice bar bill.

410. Leave my friends out of this.

411. Will you lower your voice? People are listening.

412. I don't care who's listening.

413. I wasn't the one that started this.

414. You're making a scene.

415. This is impossible.

416. What do you think you're doing?

417. Isn't it obvious? I'm leaving.

418. Carol, don't be a fool.

419. Have they shut the door yet?

420. No, ma'am, but we're just about to.

421. Enjoy yourself.

422. I'm sure you'll have a better time without me.

423. Carol!

424. Is there anything I can do, sir?

425. No. Let her go.

426. Miguel, why don't you fix us some lunch?

427. I'm starving.

428. Dr. Flemming?

429. Who are you?

430. Lieutenant Columbo. Police.

431. I don't understand.

432. What's happened here? Where's my wife?

433. Maybe you better sit down.

434. I've got some bad news for you.

435. Has something happened to Carol?

436. You sure you don't want to sit down?

437. Has she been in an accident?

438. Not exactly.

439. Well, what is it? Tell me.

440. Well, um...

441. Somebody broke in here and tried to kill her.

442. "Tried" to kill her?

443. That's right, doctor. She's lucky she's still alive.

444. She's still alive? Where is she now?

445. She's at the hospital.

446. You're sure you don't want a drink...

447. water, brandy or something?

448. Oh, no, no.

449. I want to know how she is. Is she conscious?

450. Has she been able to... to say anything?

451. Well, I'm afraid not. She's been in a coma.

452. What's her condition right now?

453. Oh, come on. I must know the truth.

454. It's not very good, doctor.

455. We only hope that she comes to long enough

456. to be able to talk to us.

457. Well, I've got to see her.

458. Doctor, uh, don't you think you ought to rest awhile?

459. After all, it's been quite a shock.

460. Well, you can understand. My wife's in the hospital.

461. She may be dying. I want to see her.

462. All right. Uh, I've got a car downstairs.

463. No, I don't want to talk to anyone now.

464. Might be the hospital, doc. They know I'm here.

465. Hello. This is Dr. Flemming.

466. Darling, I just had to talk to you.

467. The newspapers...

468. No, I... I can't keep any appointments today.

469. Why don't you come in Friday at 2:00?

470. My secretary will verify it.

471. Ray, is there someone with you?

472. They expect me to be on call at all hours.

473. Same with me, doc.

474. Nurse, I'm Dr. Flemming. My wife is a patient here.

475. I'd like to see her.

476. I'm afraid she's on the critical list.

477. She's not permitted to have any visitors.

478. But, miss, I am a doctor.

479. I'm sorry, but my orders are...

480. Is Dr. Lansberry still chief of staff here?

481. Yes.

482. Will you tell him that Dr. Ray Flemming

483. is here and would like to see him.

484. He may be in surgery, doctor.

485. But you wouldn't know that unless you checked.

486. Would you mind?

487. Dr. Lansberry, please. Reception.

488. There's a Dr. Flemming here. He insists on seeing his wife.

489. Yes. Thank you.

490. He's being paged, doctor.

491. Thank you.

492. Hospital red tape.

493. Yeah, I know what you mean, doctor.

494. Well, let's get on with it.

495. ( on PA ) Dr. Lansberry...

496. Get on with what?

497. Your red tape.

498. This, um, this thief, did he leave any traces?

499. Oh, no. No, not a thing.

500. But of course, uh, we might be able to run him down

501. when he tries to sell the stuff he stole.

502. We can't be sure, but, uh, we think maybe

503. he stole some of your wife's jewelry

504. and some other things.

505. Listen, doc, when you get a chance,

506. would you make out a list of what was stolen?

507. Of course. Yeah.

508. And then we can, uh...

509. We check with the fences and the pawnshops.

510. And who knows? Something might turn up.

511. Oh, a few questions for my report, doc.

512. Now, uh...

513. ( on PA ) Dr. Miller...

514. You were in Mexico when this thing took place,

515. and, uh, the dates there were, um...

516. Gee, you don't have a pencil, do you?

517. Thanks.

518. You know, my wife, she gives me one every morning,

519. and I just can't seem to hold on to it.

520. Uh. Oh, yes.

521. Now we know that you were in Mexico,

522. but, uh, the local police down there,

523. they couldn't seem to locate you.

524. Oh, yes.

525. I was in a little village about 20 miles from Acapulco.

526. It was very quiet and relaxing

527. and hardly any telephones.

528. Uh-huh. Yeah.

529. ( on PA ) Dr. Lansberry,

530. call reception desk, please.

531. Yeah.

532. I, um, I suppose you...

533. you know about what happened on the plane.

534. Yeah. Yeah.

535. We talked with the... with the airline people.

536. And they told us that you and your wife checked in.

537. Well, boy, that really threw us.

538. But then, of course, we contacted the stewardess

539. and she explained what happened.

540. Yes. It was my fault.

541. We had an argument on the plane.

542. It was something ridiculous.

543. I never thought that she'd actually leave.

544. Yeah, she probably went home and went right to bed.

545. I guess the attack was close to midnight.

546. I mean, we know that she was at the airport at 10:00.

547. Dr. Woods, call your office.

548. Lieutenant, if there's

549. any further way that I can be of assistance to you...

550. Oh, no. No. No.

551. You just make out that list. That would be fine, doc.

552. Thank you.

553. Oh, oh, one more thing, before I forget.

554. I had to borrow a photograph the other day.

555. I hope you don't mind.

556. A photograph?

557. Yeah, a picture of you and your wife.

558. We had to have something to show the stewardess.

559. For identification.

560. I see.

561. She was still out of town, but we contacted her by phone,

562. and, uh, we sent the picture down by wirephoto.

563. And?

564. She identified your wife.

565. The picture wasn't too clear, but she recognized her.

566. Ray.

567. I was hoping to find you here. Are you all right?

568. I'm holding up, I suppose.

569. I just don't know what to say. It's terrible.

570. Why, we just saw her at your party.

571. I know.

572. Now what happened on Friday?

573. When I called, the two of you were getting ready to leave.

574. We had an argument on the plane.

575. Suddenly, Carol decided she wasn't going,

576. and she walked off.

577. I shouldn't have let her.

578. Well, you can't blame yourself.

579. How could you possibly have known?

580. Thanks.

581. Have you heard anything yet?

582. Not yet, doctor.

583. Lieutenant Columbo.

584. My name's Gordon.

585. I'm with the district attorney's office.

586. Yes, sir. I know.

587. I appreciate it.

588. Anything you can do for Dr. Flemming.

589. He's a good friend of mine.

590. I'll try.

591. Ray, we're going to find the man

592. that is responsible for this

593. as soon as Carol gets better

594. and can give us a full description.

595. Oh, and by the way,

596. Cynthia wants you to spend the next few days with us.

597. Let me think about it, will you?

598. I understand.

599. Dr. Flemming?

600. Dr. Lansberry on the phone.

601. Hello, doctor.

602. There's something I want you to do for me.

603. Uh, any, uh...

604. Any progress so far?

605. Dr. Miller, call the switchboard, please.

606. Well, it's, uh, still a little early,

607. but, uh, you know, sooner or later

608. something usually breaks.

609. Mm-hmm.

610. Well, let's make that "sooner,"

611. right, lieutenant?

612. Try my best.

613. Yeah. I'm sure you will.

614. I don't think I have to remind you

615. that this could be...

616. quite the little feather in your cap.

617. Wrap it up, and everybody's happy.

618. Lieutenant?

619. Um, yeah, I'm sorry.

620. I was, uh...

621. I was just thinking about something.

622. What was that?

623. No. It's nothing important.

624. It's, uh...

625. Dr. Flemming, he didn't call to his wife

626. when he came back to his apartment.

627. I don't follow you.

628. Oh. Well, I was in the bedroom.

629. I was checking some things,

630. and I heard him open the front door,

631. and he didn't say anything.

632. Gee, it's funny how people are different, isn't it?

633. Now you take myself,

634. when I come home from a trip, uh,

635. the first thing I do is I say,

636. "Honey, you here?"

637. Exactly what is your point, lieutenant?

638. Point? Oh, I wasn't making a point.

639. It sounded to me as if you were.

640. You heard the man admit

641. that he had an argument with his wife.

642. He probably still had a chip on his shoulder

643. this morning.

644. I was only trying to... Lieutenant.

645. I have already told you that

646. Dr. Flemming is a close, personal friend of mine.

647. Now I hope he's not going to be

648. annoyed by a lot of tactless remarks,

649. especially at a time like this.

650. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon.

651. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it.

652. Dr. Ferrell, Surgery Four, please.

653. Yes.

654. Thank you, Dr. Lansberry.

655. They're letting me go up to see her.

656. Good. Do you need company?

657. No. I'd rather be with her alone.

658. I'll have to go with you, doc.

659. Why?

660. Well, we got a man on the door.

661. Uh, it's, uh...

662. it's all right, officer.

663. This is her husband.

664. I'm sorry, lieutenant. Nobody's allowed in right now.

665. Well, why not?

666. She's conscious. The doctor's with her.

667. Well, maybe we got lucky.

668. Oh, doctor,

669. I'm the patient's husband.

670. Is she... Is she all right?

671. I'm sorry.

672. She passed away.

673. Did she... Did she say anything?

674. If it's any consolation,

675. the one thing she said was your name.

676. Getting some fresh air?

677. I was on my way back from lunch.

678. Well, as a matter of fact,

679. I was headed toward your office myself.

680. Do you mind if I walk along?

681. Not at all.

682. Any news?

683. No. Nothing much, doctor.

684. We're just sort of waiting around

685. until our friend tries to get rid of the jewelry.

686. I'd imagine he'd hold on to it for a while.

687. Yeah, probably.

688. Have I had any calls, Miss Petrie?

689. Five or six. I left a list on your desk.

690. First day back, and everyone wants me to hold their hands.

691. You know, I've never been

692. in a psychiatrist's office before.

693. First time.

694. I keep looking for the couch.

695. So do my patients.

696. I keep telling them it's bad for their posture.

697. "Bad for their posture." That's very good.

698. I'll tell you, you put me in a horizontal position,

699. and I fall asleep.

700. Nice office, though. It seems restful.

701. I guess it, uh, puts people in the mood to talk, huh?

702. You know, my sister, she has a living room.

703. It's very, very modern.

704. Well, the minute you sit down there,

705. you can't open your mouth.

706. You know, she's got this big, kidney-shaped coffee table.

707. It upsets me just to look at it.

708. Her husband, he doesn't say anything,

709. and I figure, the coffee table got to him years ago.

710. Is there something I can do for you?

711. Oh, no. Not really, doctor. No.

712. I just came up to bring back your pen.

713. I forgot to give it to you at the inquest.

714. Well, thanks. I missed it.

715. You know, that's my trouble. I got a bad memory.

716. My wife tells me I ought to have strings on all 10 fingers.

717. Was there anything else you wanted?

718. Oh, no. It's nothing important.

719. There is one detail that bothers me.

720. And what is that?

721. It's, um... It's about your luggage.

722. My luggage?

723. I think you need fluid here, huh?

724. Oh, no. Maybe.

725. Oh, there, boy, that's quite a flame, huh?

726. You were talking about my luggage.

727. Yeah.

728. Uh, now, you took two suitcases with you, didn't you?

729. Well, actually, we packed more than we needed.

730. Well, I went out to the airport the other day,

731. you know, just a routine check

732. and it seems as though you were 13 pounds overweight.

733. You know, they keep those records.

734. Yes. I know. I charged it on my credit card.

735. Well, when you came back...

736. Now I know it's a stupid point, doc,

737. and it doesn't mean anything, but you were only, uh,

738. 4 pounds overweight, and I was wondering

739. what happened to the other 9 pounds.

740. I don't see what that has to do with my wife's death.

741. Oh, it's all part of the job.

742. You know, just trying to tie the loose ends together.

743. You went to a lot of trouble,

744. didn't you, going all the way out to the airport?

745. Forty-five minutes.

746. Boy, that's quite a place, that airport.

747. You know, I get lost just walking around.

748. Lieutenant, about those 9 pounds,

749. I took along a stack of trade journals

750. and medical magazines.

751. It seems I never get a chance

752. to go through them at the office.

753. Oh, catching up on your reading, then, huh?

754. You might say that.

755. And you didn't bring them back, then?

756. There'd be no reason to.

757. It was mostly advertising stuff.

758. Mm-hmm.

759. And, uh, you figured they weighed

760. as much as 9 pounds?

761. Well, they'd have to.

762. Why else the weight discrepancy?

763. Yeah.

764. Well, I guess that clears that up, then.

765. Okay, doc. Thank you very much.

766. And I'm sorry I bothered you.

767. No bother at all.

768. Oh, listen. There's one more thing.

769. Um, you don't remember

770. what your wife was wearing that night, do you?

771. Well, Carol had so many dresses.

772. Is it important?

773. Well, yes. In a way, it is.

774. Well, let's see now.

775. Oh, yes.

776. She was wearing a blue wool dress with brass buttons,

777. if I'm not mistaken.

778. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.

779. That's what the stewardess said.

780. She's back in town, by the way.

781. And I spoke to her, and, uh,

782. she told me your wife was wearing

783. a blue wool dress with blue kid gloves.

784. Well, then that's probably it.

785. No.

786. That's funny, though.

787. If she came home from the airport,

788. what did she do with the dress and gloves?

789. When we went over your apartment last week,

790. we couldn't find them.

791. Well, they may have been stolen.

792. Yeah. Maybe, maybe.

793. Did you put those on the list of stolen items?

794. Really, lieutenant, how could you expect me

795. to notice they were missing?

796. Still, it's puzzling when you think about it.

797. I am...

798. I mean, why would a guy steal a dress and a pair of gloves?

799. What are they worth?

800. People don't always do the rational thing.

801. Oh, they sure don't.

802. You learn a lot about that in my line.

803. Well, I guess you do in yours too.

804. Hmm.

805. Oh, excuse me. Yeah?

806. Miss Hudson is here, doctor.

807. I'll be through in a moment.

808. I have a patient coming in now, lieutenant.

809. Oh. Yeah.

810. Hey, 2:00.

811. Oh, that was the one that called you at your apartment.

812. Oh, and you say you have a bad memory.

813. Well, listen.

814. It comes and it goes, you know?

815. I'm sorry I couldn't have been any help to you with the dress

816. and the gloves, but, uh,

817. well, maybe you just missed them in your search.

818. Yeah.

819. Yeah, you're probably right, doc.

820. Uh, listen, um, would you mind if I came over this afternoon

821. and took another look?

822. What time do you think you're gonna be home?

823. Not before 5:00.

824. Well, suppose I meet you there at 5:30.

825. If you think it's necessary.

826. Well, it's just another loose end.

827. You understand.

828. Hmm.

829. You can go in now, Miss Hudson.

830. Thank you.

831. Oh, miss.

832. Excuse me, uh, what was your name again?

833. Joan Hudson. Why?

834. Oh, sorry to trouble you, ma'am.

835. Who was that man out there?

836. Lieutenant Columbo. He's a police officer. Why?

837. He wanted to know my name.

838. Did you tell him?

839. What else could I do?

840. Ray, is something wrong?

841. Well, he was with me when you called.

842. I told you not to try to get in touch with me.

843. I had to.

844. When I read that Carol was still alive,

845. I wanted to warn you.

846. Well, don't worry about it.

847. As far as he knows,

848. you're just another patient on my list.

849. Now...

850. Now I am going to call the cleaners.

851. You did as I told you, didn't you?

852. You left Carol's dress and gloves

853. with the rest of the laundry?

854. Gloves?

855. Yes, dress and gloves.

856. Well, you know, Joan. I told you.

857. What is it?

858. Well, I changed in the restroom at the airport

859. and put her things in my bag.

860. Then I went back to your apartment

861. and left the dress with the other laundry.

862. Go on.

863. Well, I forgot about the gloves.

864. I didn't even think of them until you mentioned them.

865. But we went over it.

866. How many times did I tell you?

867. I'm sorry.

868. What difference does it make?

869. Is it that important?

870. "Is it that important?"

871. Where are the gloves now?

872. They're in my other bag, at home.

873. I haven't used it since that night.

874. Let me think.

875. We're safe as far as the dress is concerned.

876. It's at the cleaners.

877. Now, the gloves, they're small.

878. They can be easily overlooked.

879. They can be almost anywhere.

880. Listen.

881. Columbo's coming back to my apartment.

882. He wants to make another search.

883. Now you go back home,

884. get the gloves and come back to my place.

885. I'll see you there in an hour.

886. Why can't I just throw them away?

887. Because I want him to find them.

888. He'll only be satisfied

889. if all of his loose ends are in place.

890. But, Ray...

891. Now you just do as I say, darling.

892. Hurry.

893. There you are.

894. Did you bring them?

895. Good. Put them on the table.

896. I'll hide them in her bureau.

897. Columbo's going to find them this time.

898. Would you like a drink?

899. Please.

900. Are you angry with me?

901. Not at all.

902. I would have to do something foolish.

903. I kept going over everything in my mind.

904. But those stupid gloves.

905. Don't you worry about it. We've protected ourselves.

906. I've missed you.

907. I'm lucky I was working.

908. It helped me get through the week.

909. It's behind us now.

910. What about that man, that Columbo?

911. You'll never see him again.

912. But why does he keep bothering you?

913. Because Carol's death has been almost too perfect.

914. That's what irritates him. It's like a speck in his eye.

915. Why, he'd even look for flaws in the Old Testament.

916. You don't seem to be very upset about it.

917. Why should I be?

918. Whatever he turns up, I've got an answer for.

919. Eventually he'll lose interest

920. and start hounding someone else.

921. I wish I could feel that sure.

922. The past two weeks

923. I've been trying to find an excuse

924. for what we've done.

925. I haven't been very successful.

926. Joan, there was no other option.

927. Does that justify?

928. Yes.

929. We're in love.

930. We want a future together.

931. That's all the justification we need.

932. Look, this isn't something you just forget.

933. Don't let it interfere with what we have.

934. I won't.

935. All we have to do is wait.

936. I promise I'll make it up to you.

937. What are you doing here?

938. Doctor, I, uh...

939. I just kind of thought that I'd save you some time

940. and look for the stuff myself.

941. I mean, I just didn't want to inconvenience you

942. more than I have to.

943. Don't you people usually require a search warrant?

944. I just didn't think it was necessary, doctor.

945. I mean, you gave me permission, didn't you?

946. Say, uh, what are you doing here now?

947. It bothered me too.

948. I wanted to save some time for both of us.

949. There are the gloves, lieutenant.

950. I found them in one of Carol's bureau drawers.

951. What do you know about that?

952. We covered every inch of that bureau.

953. Well, we must've missed these.

954. You didn't find the dress by any chance, did you?

955. No, I turned the place upside down.

956. It's not here.

957. Gee, I wonder what she did with it.

958. I'm afraid I have no idea.

959. Well, why don't we both take another look.

960. Lieutenant?

961. It's not in the apartment.

962. I went through every one of the closets.

963. Well, there's a laundry hamper in the bedroom, isn't there?

964. But I just told you...

965. Well, there's no harm in checking, is there?

966. Lieutenant, would you mind getting that?

967. I don't feel like talking to anyone.

968. Rodeo Cleaners.

969. Uh, doctor.

970. How much do I owe you?

971. $4.50.

972. Keep the change.

973. Thank you.

974. Say, isn't that your wife's dress?

975. Well, of course.

976. Well, she must've put it outside for the cleaners

977. when she got back from the airport.

978. Yes, that makes sense.

979. It certainly matches the description.

980. May I take a look?

981. Take a good look at it, lieutenant.

982. Well, I've got to get back to my office.

983. I guess we've both wasted a lot of time.

984. Well, listen.

985. I'm sorry about all this, doctor.

986. I seem to be making a pest of myself.

987. Yeah? Oh, lieutenant!

988. It's for you.

989. Yeah. Thanks.

990. Columbo.

991. Yeah.

992. Who?

993. Are you sure?

994. Well, what do you know about that?

995. Hmm.

996. Yeah.

997. All right.

998. Yes, I'll be right down. Yeah.

999. That does it, doc.

1000. Does what?

1001. We just got a confession.

1002. A fella just admitted killing your wife.

1003. Listen. I got to go.

1004. If I get any more information, I'll call you.

1005. Isn't that funny the way those things happen?

1006. How did you break the window, Tommy?

1007. I had this flashlight,

1008. and I knocked it through the glass.

1009. What happened next?

1010. I told you.

1011. She came out.

1012. I didn't think she'd be home.

1013. You mean Mrs. Flemming?

1014. Yeah.

1015. She was wearing this... this nightgown.

1016. Yeah. Go on.

1017. Well, the second she saw me,

1018. she started to yell her head off.

1019. So I ran over to keep her quiet.

1020. I put my hand over her mouth...

1021. and then I, uh...

1022. I just strangled her.

1023. Mm-hmm. And then what happened?

1024. Like I said, I began taking things.

1025. The silverware, a couple of candle holders,

1026. a couple of lighters

1027. and the jewelry.

1028. Did you take any money, Tommy?

1029. Yeah, she had about 30 bucks in her purse.

1030. What did you do with the stuff that you stole?

1031. I fenced it.

1032. Where?

1033. Why should I get him in trouble?

1034. What did he give you for it?

1035. Look, lieutenant,

1036. how many times do we have to go over this?

1037. I told you I killed her. That ought to be enough!

1038. Tommy, why that particular apartment?

1039. I saw them leaving with their luggage.

1040. The initials on his bag said "R.F."

1041. So I looked at the mailboxes,

1042. and I saw "Dr. Ray Flemming, penthouse,"

1043. the only name that fit the initials.

1044. Now that was pretty shrewd of you.

1045. How many jobs have you had in the past few months?

1046. One or two.

1047. If I was working steady,

1048. would I be breaking into apartments?

1049. No, I guess you wouldn't.

1050. All right. That's all. You can take him out.

1051. Well, that was quick.

1052. Well, you've been very cooperative, Tommy.

1053. What do you think, doc?

1054. I don't believe a word he says.

1055. Really? Why?

1056. He knew exactly what was stolen.

1057. He knew how the thief got into the apartment.

1058. He knew what your wife was wearing.

1059. And so does everyone who reads the papers.

1060. Yes, that's true. That's true.

1061. The boy's obviously neurotic.

1062. Some people have an urge to confess after every murder.

1063. I've even treated a few of them.

1064. They have a compulsion to purge themselves.

1065. Maybe they just want to get their names in the papers.

1066. But the boy's story does not hold up.

1067. You know, you might be right.

1068. You know, come to think of it,

1069. didn't he say

1070. that your wife was screaming

1071. and he put his hand over her mouth?

1072. And then he said he lowered his hands

1073. and he strangled her.

1074. I don't know what you're getting at.

1075. Well, your wife was strangled from behind.

1076. There were thumb indentation marks

1077. on the back of her neck, not on the front.

1078. Oh, and I checked one more thing, doc.

1079. Tommy was discharged

1080. from the army on a Section 8.

1081. He's mentally unstable.

1082. If you knew that, why did you ask what I thought?

1083. Oh, well, I, uh...

1084. I just wanted to get another professional opinion, doc.

1085. I mean no offense.

1086. I don't have to be a psychiatrist

1087. to know that the boy's lying.

1088. Why not?

1089. For one thing, I have no initials on my luggage.

1090. Oh, yeah.

1091. I was gonna check that out

1092. if you told me that you believed Tommy's story.

1093. I thought you might.

1094. It also occurred to me that you may have planted

1095. this whole Tommy episode.

1096. Now why on earth would I do a thing like that?

1097. Oh, that reminds me.

1098. Did you do any fishing while you were in Acapulco?

1099. A little. Why?

1100. Oh, it's nothing important.

1101. It's just that, uh, I'm a terrific bug on fishing.

1102. You know, my wife and I, we're looking for a place

1103. to take a vacation this summer.

1104. You see, the trouble with places

1105. around here is that, um,

1106. well, people keep dumping

1107. all kinds of things off the boat.

1108. You know, bottles, cans.

1109. Oh, it's a terrible shame. Criminal.

1110. And, uh, well, I suppose

1111. you don't notice that in the ocean, do you?

1112. I mean, it's so big,

1113. it would just swallow everything up.

1114. Uh, tell me, uh...

1115. Those trade journals and those medical books,

1116. did you take them with you when you went fishing?

1117. Lieutenant, for the past week

1118. you've been asking me some rather pointless questions,

1119. and I am getting very tired of them.

1120. Oh, I'm sorry, doc.

1121. I just thought that,

1122. well, a boat's a good place to get some reading done.

1123. What do my reading habits have to do with this?

1124. You've been concentrating on everything

1125. but the man who broke into my apartment.

1126. Or is this some new type of police procedure?

1127. I'm only, uh...

1128. I want the man who murdered my wife.

1129. Everything else is irrelevant.

1130. Well, I'm only trying to...

1131. I know, you're only trying to tie up loose ends.

1132. Well, if you spent a little less time on loose ends,

1133. maybe you'd come up with something important.

1134. You know, sometimes I get the impression

1135. you think I killed my wife.

1136. You?

1137. Oh, no, doc.

1138. How could you? You were out of town.

1139. I'm glad you remembered that.

1140. Unless you think I hired someone to kill her.

1141. The boy who confessed? Maybe I paid him to do it.

1142. No, doc. You didn't do that.

1143. How do you know?

1144. I already asked him.

1145. Are you serious?

1146. I am.

1147. He's making an absolute pest of himself.

1148. Telephone calls, question and answer sessions.

1149. He's even bothering me at the office.

1150. It's getting ridiculous.

1151. He's probably trying too hard. I'll have a word with him.

1152. Well, a word won't do it.

1153. Burt, you won't believe this,

1154. but somewhere in the back of his mind

1155. he thinks I'm involved with Carol's murder.

1156. You? You've got to be kidding.

1157. I'm not, and neither is Columbo.

1158. Look, isn't there some way you can get him off my back?

1159. Well, if he's pushing that hard... He is.

1160. I guess I can pull a few strings.

1161. All right. Consider it done.

1162. Well, that was painless.

1163. Looks like I owe you a favor.

1164. Forget it. What are friends for?

1165. Evening, doctor.

1166. I just stopped by with some news

1167. I thought you might be interested.

1168. I got taken off the case today.

1169. I'm no longer working on it.

1170. Oh.

1171. Yeah, and it happened all of a sudden too.

1172. You know, I was sitting at my desk,

1173. and a call came down from upstairs

1174. and they told me that they wanted me

1175. to work on something else.

1176. Real strange.

1177. And they told me to turn my files

1178. over to Lieutenant Silver,

1179. who's a very nice guy, but he's young

1180. and not experienced in this kind of thing.

1181. That is funny.

1182. Here I thought I was doing a good job.

1183. How unfortunate for you.

1184. But I suppose they know what they're doing.

1185. Well, you'll have to excuse me. I've got a dinner engagement.

1186. Where? At the Gordons?

1187. And why do you say that?

1188. Well, you're a good friend of Mr. Gordon, aren't you?

1189. I mean, last week at the hospital

1190. he invited you over.

1191. You remember that.

1192. No, it isn't the Gordons.

1193. No?

1194. A lady friend, maybe?

1195. I don't think it's any of your business.

1196. No, I guess not.

1197. I was wondering, doctor,

1198. would you take me on as a patient?

1199. Take you on as a what?

1200. No, I mean it. Maybe you can help me.

1201. I don't know, but

1202. there must be something wrong with me.

1203. I seem to bother people.

1204. I seem to make them nervous

1205. and maybe you could tell me why.

1206. Are you serious?

1207. I'm very, very serious.

1208. I've never been more serious in my life.

1209. My wife says I ought to have it looked into,

1210. so I told her I know this psychiatrist.

1211. And I figure if I came here like once a week,

1212. maybe we could get it ironed out.

1213. You know what I think the problem is?

1214. I think I'm too suspicious.

1215. I don't trust people. That's my trouble.

1216. For instance, when I get taken off a case,

1217. right away I figure somebody put the pressure on.

1218. Right away I ask myself why.

1219. What do you think, doc?

1220. I think you'd better get out of here.

1221. Beg your pardon?

1222. Columbo, you're a public servant.

1223. You say you've been taken off the case.

1224. Fine.

1225. Bother me again, and I shall have to talk to your superiors.

1226. You've been talking to a lot of people these days, doctor.

1227. Columbo, you are magnificent.

1228. You really are.

1229. Well, what makes you say that, doc?

1230. You are the most persistent creature

1231. I've ever met, but likeable.

1232. The astonishing thing is you're likeable.

1233. Has anyone ever told you you're droll?

1234. Who? Me?

1235. Yes, you?

1236. Oh, come on, doc. Come on.

1237. Oh, but you are.

1238. You're a sly little elf,

1239. and you should be sitting under

1240. your own private little toadstool.

1241. You say you've been thrown off the case,

1242. and yet you have the flagrant audacity to come back here

1243. and bother me again.

1244. I respect that.

1245. It irritates me, but I respect it.

1246. How about a drink?

1247. Well, all right.

1248. Hey, now, that's pretty clever.

1249. You can always have a snort between patients, huh?

1250. I haven't given you a Rorschach test yet,

1251. but I've got a hunch you're a bourbon man.

1252. Thank you very much, doctor.

1253. What'll we drink to?

1254. Oh, I don't know. How about you and me?

1255. Fine.

1256. Like to read, huh, doctor?

1257. Yes, I do.

1258. You read murder mysteries?

1259. Not very often.

1260. Oh, me, I love them. I find them nice and relaxing.

1261. You know, the only trouble is that

1262. they got nothing to do with real life.

1263. I mean, the guy who did it,

1264. they catch him every time,

1265. and you and I know that

1266. it doesn't always work out that way.

1267. You never stop, do you?

1268. What?

1269. The insinuation, the change of pace.

1270. You're a bag of tricks, Columbo.

1271. Right down to that prop cigar you use.

1272. Oh, come on, doc.

1273. I'm going to tell you something about yourself.

1274. You say you need a psychiatrist?

1275. Maybe you do, maybe you don't.

1276. But you are the textbook example of compensation.

1277. Of what, doc?

1278. Compensation. Adaptability.

1279. You're an intelligent man, Columbo,

1280. but you hide it.

1281. You pretend you're something you're not.

1282. Why?

1283. Because of your appearance.

1284. You think you cannot get by on looks or polish,

1285. so you turn a defect into a virtue.

1286. You take people by surprise.

1287. They underestimate you,

1288. and that's where you trip them up.

1289. Like coming here tonight.

1290. Boy, you've got me pegged pretty good, doctor.

1291. I'm gonna have to watch myself with you

1292. 'cause, uh, you figure out people pretty good.

1293. Now you're trying flattery.

1294. No, really, I'm serious, doctor.

1295. You've got a gift there.

1296. Oh, I know it's your job

1297. and I know you've studied for years, but still it's...

1298. Well, it's amazing that a person can come in here

1299. and sit down, and in a couple of hours

1300. you know all about them.

1301. Well, not quite.

1302. Psychiatry isn't a parlor trick.

1303. Oh, I didn't mean that.

1304. No, I was just,

1305. I was just wondering that, uh...

1306. Well, no. I guess that isn't possible.

1307. What isn't?

1308. Well, I know it's easy enough

1309. to figure out about a patient

1310. or a guy like me that's always hanging around all the time,

1311. but what about a stranger?

1312. What about a, uh,

1313. a fellow that you've never met before?

1314. Can you tell what makes him tick?

1315. Any particular one in mind?

1316. No, nobody special. Just a type.

1317. Like a murderer, for instance?

1318. Well, yeah.

1319. Now that you mention it...

1320. I guess we're on the same wavelength.

1321. Yes, I guess we are.

1322. What about this hypothetical murderer?

1323. Well, I'm not talking about your average hothead

1324. you know, the guy who pops somebody

1325. over the noggin with a bottle.

1326. What I mean is, uh, the kind of man

1327. that, uh, figures everything out in advance,

1328. who takes everything step by step.

1329. What do you know about that kind of man, doctor?

1330. I should charge you for this.

1331. But since it's on a theoretical basis,

1332. let's just call it a free consultation.

1333. All right.

1334. We are talking about a man who commits a crime,

1335. not the garden variety of barroom brawl,

1336. but an elaborate intellectual project.

1337. What do we know about this man?

1338. Obviously, he's not impulsive.

1339. He plans. He calculates.

1340. He minimizes risks.

1341. He's oriented by his mind,

1342. not by his emotion.

1343. And he's probably well educated too.

1344. Like maybe a professional man?

1345. Like maybe.

1346. At any rate, an orderly man

1347. with an eye for detail and courage.

1348. Courage?

1349. Oh, certainly.

1350. To go through a thing like this,

1351. whatever it may be,

1352. it takes a strong nervous system.

1353. Well, you could be right.

1354. But one thing bothers me, doctor.

1355. This man that we're talking about

1356. has taken a human life.

1357. Now wouldn't you say that he was insane?

1358. Why?

1359. Because he committed an immoral act?

1360. Morals are conditioned, lieutenant.

1361. They're relative, like everything else is today.

1362. Our murderer may be as sane as you and me.

1363. Killing may be repugnant to him,

1364. but if it's his only solution, he uses it.

1365. That's pragmatism, my friend, not insanity.

1366. Tell me, doctor.

1367. How do you catch a man like that?

1368. You don't.

1369. You're probably right.

1370. He sounds just too clever for us.

1371. What I mean is, you know, cops,

1372. we're not the brightest guys in the world.

1373. Of course, we got one thing going for us.

1374. We're professionals.

1375. I mean, you take our friend here, the murderer.

1376. He's very smart,

1377. but he's an amateur.

1378. I mean, he's got just one time to learn.

1379. Just one.

1380. With us, well, with us

1381. it's a business.

1382. You see, we do this a hundred times a year.

1383. I'll tell you, doc.

1384. That's a lot of practice.

1385. It didn't help you very much, did it?

1386. I mean, with all that experience,

1387. you jumped to the wrong conclusion.

1388. What do you mean?

1389. I didn't kill my wife.

1390. I never said you did.

1391. Oh, that's true.

1392. Imply. "Imply" is more the word.

1393. But if I killed my wife...

1394. and I did say "if"...

1395. you're never going to be able to prove it.

1396. So why don't we just part as friends?

1397. You go on to something new,

1398. and I'll forget this whole thing ever happened.

1399. As a matter of fact, there's no reason

1400. for us to see each other again.

1401. Well, I have to be going now.

1402. Well, I'll go out with you.

1403. No, no, you just stay here,

1404. relax, search the office.

1405. Oh!

1406. And if you want another drink,

1407. help yourself.

1408. Good night.

1409. Oh, by the way, when you leave,

1410. turn out the light.

1411. Uh, Miss Hudson.

1412. Who are you?

1413. Uh, Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am.

1414. Police.

1415. We met the other day. Remember?

1416. What's this all about?

1417. Is there someplace where we could go,

1418. where we could talk?

1419. Why?

1420. Oh, just a few routine questions, that's all.

1421. Would you like some ice cream?

1422. No, thanks. Questions about what?

1423. Uh...

1424. Well, could we go in there?

1425. This is quite a place.

1426. Lieutenant, would you mind telling me why you're here?

1427. Yes, of course, I was hoping you might help us

1428. with a case that we're working on.

1429. What case is that?

1430. Lieutenant?

1431. The Flemming case.

1432. Oh, you mean Dr. Flemming, my psychiatrist?

1433. Uh-huh.

1434. Is he in some kind of trouble?

1435. What was that?

1436. I said, is he in some kind of trouble?

1437. Well, you might say he is.

1438. Sit down, Miss Hudson.

1439. There's no rule about smoking here, is there?

1440. No.

1441. Well, then if you don't mind, I'll light up.

1442. See, a lot of women, they don't like cigars.

1443. Now, my wife, she prefers a pipe.

1444. And I could never get used to those things.

1445. There's just too much to carry around with you.

1446. How long have you known Dr. Flemming?

1447. You mean, how long has he been treating me?

1448. Well, that's the same thing, isn't it?

1449. I've been seeing him for about a year.

1450. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

1451. That checks out.

1452. By the way, when was the last time

1453. that you spoke to Dr. Flemming?

1454. Last week when I met you.

1455. Oh, that's right. Yes.

1456. Lieutenant, would you mind explaining...

1457. Are you working here on a movie now?

1458. That's right.

1459. Well, I'm gonna have to see it when it comes out.

1460. What are you? Are you...

1461. Are you playing a Roman girl or a Greek girl?

1462. Do you do your own makeup?

1463. What has this got to do with Dr. Flemming?

1464. Pardon me?

1465. Lieutenant, you're not being very clear.

1466. You came here to ask me about a man I hardly know.

1467. You said he was in trouble.

1468. Now, before we go on,

1469. suppose you tell me what kind of trouble.

1470. Well, I know that this is gonna come as a shock to you...

1471. but we think that he killed his wife.

1472. You seem stunned.

1473. Well, of course I'm stunned.

1474. I don't believe it.

1475. No?

1476. Hey, I wonder who these belong to.

1477. Well, maybe somebody left them by mistake.

1478. Miss Hudson, uh...

1479. Well, you seem nervous.

1480. Haven't you seen a pair of sunglasses before?

1481. Would you like to try them on?

1482. Why should I? No reason.

1483. But there's no reason why you shouldn't, either.

1484. Is there?

1485. I think I'd better go.

1486. Sit down, Miss Hudson.

1487. If you insist on questioning me,

1488. I'm going to have to call my lawyer.

1489. Sit down.

1490. You can't stop me from calling my lawyer.

1491. You have no right to order me around.

1492. You're not even on this case anymore.

1493. Well, now, how did you know that?

1494. Dr. Flemming told me.

1495. Oh, but you said that you hadn't seen

1496. Dr. Flemming since last week.

1497. He called me.

1498. Oh, is the doctor in the habit of doing that?

1499. I'm not going to answer any more of your questions.

1500. Just one more point, Miss Hudson,

1501. that I'd like to clear up.

1502. I am on the case.

1503. It's true somebody tried to pull a few strings.

1504. But my superior, he doesn't like that.

1505. He gets thinking.

1506. So he said to me, he said, "Lieutenant Columbo,

1507. you must be touching a sore spot,

1508. so you just keep right on trying."

1509. He's very intelligent, my superior.

1510. I want to call my lawyer.

1511. I don't understand that.

1512. Now Dr. Flemming killed his wife,

1513. and you want to call your lawyer.

1514. Would you explain that to me, Miss Hudson?

1515. I want to call my lawyer.

1516. All right.

1517. Go ahead.

1518. If he wants to know what the charge is...

1519. it's accessory to murder.

1520. Now go ahead and make your call, Miss Hudson.

1521. When you get done, we'll take a drive.

1522. A drive?

1523. Yes, we're gonna go see the stewardess.

1524. I don't have the blue dress, and I don't have the gloves,

1525. and I don't think you're going to try on these sunglasses,

1526. but maybe she'll remember you anyhow,

1527. wig or no wig.

1528. I don't know what you're talking about.

1529. You're trying to confuse me.

1530. I have nothing to do with this.

1531. With what? With this...

1532. With the thing that you said about Ray.

1533. Ray? Dr. Flemming.

1534. But you just called him Ray.

1535. What difference does that make?

1536. I know him. He's my doctor.

1537. Your lover?

1538. My doctor.

1539. And you said you never met his wife?

1540. No, I never met his wife.

1541. Would you like to see some pictures of her?

1542. I had them taken at the morgue.

1543. They're in my briefcase.

1544. No. Why should you?

1545. After all, you saw the real thing.

1546. That must have been quite a shock.

1547. Why don't you leave me alone? I didn't do anything.

1548. No? What about these?

1549. What about the sunglasses?

1550. What about the overweight luggage?

1551. What about the argument on the plane?

1552. I don't want to listen to any of this.

1553. Now you was there when he strangled her!

1554. Weren't you? No!

1555. Well, does that mean that you came later?

1556. I was never there at all.

1557. I think you were.

1558. I think you probably changed into her dress

1559. while she was lying there,

1560. and then you and the doctor went to the airport

1561. and had that fake argument on the plane, now didn't you?

1562. No! Didn't you?

1563. Didn't you help plan it with him?

1564. Didn't you help carry it out with him?

1565. Now, didn't you? Oh, stop it!

1566. Without you, that woman would be alive!

1567. Without you, she wouldn't be lying in a morgue!

1568. Stop it! Stop it!

1569. It couldn't have happened without you!

1570. Stop it!

1571. Why don't we go downtown

1572. and you can make a statement?

1573. No.

1574. You have no right.

1575. I have nothing to do with this,

1576. do you understand?

1577. Nothing. Nothing at all.

1578. If you want to take me to the stewardess,

1579. then take me.

1580. If you want to arrest me, go ahead.

1581. But you can't prove anything.

1582. Now, either charge me or let me leave.

1583. I don't care what you do.

1584. You can go.

1585. Miss Hudson.

1586. I hope you understand that this is only the beginning.

1587. In a way, I feel sorry for you

1588. because from now on I'm gonna do everything

1589. I can to break you down.

1590. Do you understand?

1591. Dr. Flemming made one mistake, and you're it.

1592. You're the weak link, Miss Hudson.

1593. Now you surprised me today because you were strong.

1594. But there's always tomorrow

1595. and the day after that and the day after that...

1596. and sooner or later, you're going to talk to me.

1597. Until you do, you're going to be questioned,

1598. you're going to be followed

1599. and you're going to be hounded.

1600. And Dr. Flemming can't do anything about it.

1601. You're on your own, Miss Hudson,

1602. and I'm going to get to him through you.

1603. That's a promise.

1604. Hello?

1605. Ray! Oh, thank heavens!

1606. I've been calling for hours.

1607. What's wrong? You sound upset.

1608. Columbo came to see me at the studio today.

1609. Columbo?

1610. He tried to break me down.

1611. Did you tell him anything?

1612. No, of course not.

1613. But he knows.

1614. Every detail. Even the alibi on the plane.

1615. Oh, he's only guessing. Guesses are no proof.

1616. But why should he be questioning you?

1617. He's off the case.

1618. No, he's not. He's right in the middle of it.

1619. Two of his men are parked outside right now.

1620. Well, I think we'd better have a talk.

1621. Come in tomorrow for your appointment.

1622. We'll figure something out.

1623. But can't you come over here now?

1624. With his men watching your house?

1625. Joan, use your head.

1626. But you're my doctor!

1627. I mean, there's nothing wrong in visiting a patient!

1628. He obviously expects us to get together tonight.

1629. Let's not be predictable.

1630. What are we going to do?

1631. Just ride it out. You're his last resort.

1632. If you don't panic, we're home free.

1633. Ray, I have to see you.

1634. You will, in the morning.

1635. Now put on some music,

1636. have yourself a drink and stop worrying.

1637. Ray!

1638. Yes?

1639. All right. I'll try.

1640. Miss Petrie. Yes, doctor?

1641. Doesn't Miss Hudson have a 10:00 appointment?

1642. Yes, she does.

1643. It's 10:30. Why don't you give her a call?

1644. Hello. Is Miss Hudson...

1645. Well, no, I...

1646. This is the receptionist in Dr. Flemming's office.

1647. Well, she had an appointment here this morning.

1648. I see.

1649. I just called Miss Hudson, and a man answered.

1650. He said he was from the coroner's office.

1651. Try it again, maybe you got the wrong number.

1652. This is Dr. Flemming's office again.

1653. Is Miss Hudson there?

1654. You don't understand.

1655. Dr. Flemming is her psychiatrist.

1656. Well, I'm only trying to get some information.

1657. Let me have that.

1658. Hello. This is Dr. Flemming.

1659. Who are you?

1660. Miss Hudson is under my care.

1661. I want to know what happened.

1662. Look, I am her psychiatrist.

1663. What kind of accident?

1664. Well, then who do I call to find out?

1665. Look, can't you get it through your head that...

1666. Never mind.

1667. Miss Petrie, I'm going out for a while.

1668. Tell my next patient that I'll be late.

1669. Where is she?

1670. I said, where is she?

1671. She stuffed herself with barbiturates.

1672. I didn't think...

1673. What didn't you think?

1674. You didn't think what?

1675. Well, I questioned her yesterday. I...

1676. I guess I pushed her too far.

1677. I told her that I was gonna get to you through her.

1678. You had to bring her into this, didn't you?

1679. Didn't you know what she'd do? Or didn't you care?

1680. Don't lecture me, doctor!

1681. I'm responsible,

1682. and I'm gonna have to live with it.

1683. But you're leaving somebody out.

1684. We both killed that girl, the two of us together.

1685. She committed suicide

1686. for one reason, to protect you.

1687. You see, it was all for you.

1688. For you, doc.

1689. By the way, congratulations.

1690. I mean, you're home free now, aren't you?

1691. Boy, it couldn't have worked out better.

1692. She was the only one who could've given you away.

1693. Can't touch you anymore, doc. Nobody can.

1694. You're free and clear.

1695. You won, doc.

1696. The only trouble is you didn't get

1697. what you were going after.

1698. What is that supposed to mean?

1699. Why, the girl.

1700. You loved her and you wanted her

1701. and you were willing to murder for her.

1702. And now she's gone,

1703. and all that planning, all that sweat...

1704. and you wind up with nothing.

1705. What are you trying to tell me?

1706. I'm not trying to tell you anything, doctor.

1707. I was just thinking that...

1708. you're going to be a terribly lonely man from here on in

1709. and maybe you'd feel better

1710. if you got a few things off your chest.

1711. Like what?

1712. Like the truth.

1713. Are you asking me to confess?

1714. Well, is that so strange?

1715. After all, what do you have to look forward to?

1716. Think about that, doc.

1717. The girl isn't around anymore.

1718. And who knows? Maybe you owe her something.

1719. What do you say, doc?

1720. You're a very funny man.

1721. I wasn't trying to be funny.

1722. But you are, more than you know.

1723. So you want me to purge myself?

1724. My one and only love is dead,

1725. and I have nothing more to live for, is that it?

1726. All I'm saying, doctor,

1727. is that if you love that girl...

1728. Love that girl?

1729. Look, Columbo, I overestimated you.

1730. I thought you understood about human nature.

1731. I never loved that girl.

1732. Come on, doc.

1733. No, really.

1734. Remember that hypothetical murderer

1735. we were talking about?

1736. He needed an alibi. The girl was available.

1737. So he used her. It was as simple as that.

1738. No.

1739. You killed your wife

1740. because you were in love with the girl.

1741. Well, if I killed Carol and there's no proof that I did

1742. I did it for myself,

1743. not for some dime-a-dozen little actress.

1744. She helped you with the murder.

1745. You'd have had to marry her.

1746. Not really.

1747. Something would have been arranged.

1748. Like an accident, maybe.

1749. Always planning ahead, aren't you, Ray?

1750. They said there was something I should hear.

1751. Would you like to make a statement now?

1752. Why don't we sit down? We'll be more comfortable.